What to do if you are deceived by a gigolo. Husband gigolo

This sometimes happens, a “dark” streak comes to life - all things fall out of hand, health problems arise, they are suddenly fired from work... We women are usually forced by such life disasters to become more active. We begin to desperately flounder in a sea of ​​everyday problems until we finally stumble upon a saving pebble. The strong half of humanity is more inclined to show weakness in such circumstances and float like an inert log with the flow of life until it carries it to the golden shore of prosperity. What if he can’t bear it? Well, c'est la vie!.. No, Cherche la femme - look for a woman, many men will tell you, because only with her you will not drown in the sea of ​​everyday troubles and will certainly stay afloat.

Depressive ballast
"My husband is a gigolo!" - my friend Maria began the conversation with such a desperately sensational statement when we sat down at a table in a cozy cafe. “Wait, are you saying that he lives off someone else’s woman?” - I asked in bewilderment. “Not someone else’s, but my own, that is, at my expense! I can’t imagine what to do here...” - Masha looked at me hopefully, hoping to receive practical advice. In response, I really wanted to blurt out: “If you don’t know what to do, get a divorce!” But somehow she couldn’t bring herself to give such radical advice to her, who had known her husband Victor since school, had shared the joys and hardships of life with him for ten years, and now, when her husband was fired from his job five years ago, was struggling alone family. And Victor hung around her neck like a depressive ballast, not wanting to get a job.
No, at first he, of course, made attempts to find a job. Victor diligently bought press from job advertisements, called recruitment agencies and went to interviews. But the proposed options each time did not suit either the companies that provided the vacancy or the discerning applicant. Victor explained this fact first by the fact that the job market is too crowded with logisticians, then that during the crisis this specialty became unclaimed and poorly paid. Maria agreed that wasting precious time working for pennies was really stupid, but with each passing month her confidence in this was melting.
Of course, the family was not in poverty: Masha earned good money and could afford not only to support the two of them, but also to take them to foreign resorts twice a year. But you must admit, one more salary to the family budget would not be superfluous. And Maria’s parents, although they lived separately and did not live together with the young, began to look with hostility at the parasite father-in-law and at every meeting they hinted to their daughter that, they say, you were sitting at home again. And after such words, Maria somehow looked differently at her sweetheart, who, wearing new fashionable pants that, by the way, she had bought, was sitting on the sofa and carefreely clicking the buttons of the television remote control. Is her vaunted Vitek really not capable of doing a manly thing and finally becoming the breadwinner of the family?
But, alas, the miracle did not happen, even when Masha made another investment in family life and purchased a luxury car. She didn’t know how to drive herself, but she no longer wanted to get to the dacha by train. The car balanced their relationship for a while: Victor, driving, finally felt that he was a man and he could decide where to drive, and Maria felt like a fragile woman who was being cared for. But, a few months later, she realized that she now had not one, but two “pets” hanging around her neck - a husband and a car, which constantly needed technical inspections, winter tires and gasoline - all of which, of course, was paid for from her wallet. Masha again decided to talk to her husband about getting a job, especially since the woman is already at that critical age - 30 years old, when it is no longer possible to delay with a child, but what will they live on if she goes on maternity leave? I haven’t imagined it yet. Victor took her question as an accusation and humiliation of male dignity, saying that she didn’t understand the situation, and went to drink beer in the garage. And Masha trudged towards me to cry into her vest - what else could be done at such a moment?
A comment
Irina DANILOVA, psychologist:
- Men are designed in such a way that they are only capable of action when we, women, allow them to show their best qualities. And in our couple, she shouldered the entire burden of problems, so her husband easily removed himself so as not to “disturb.” The woman needed to act as an inspiring factor and help him start again, join that high rhythm of life from which he had fallen, and not carry the burden alone, waiting for the end of depression.
Profession - dependent
Another friend of mine had terrible luck with her husbands. She, like a magnet, attracted losers who earned pennies, preached an ascetic lifestyle, but never disdained to sit in restaurants... at her expense. It’s interesting that they themselves did not at all consider themselves parasites; as they say, they were ready to give up their last shirt, but the trouble is, they simply didn’t have it. In this case, they would have lived within their means, but the girl did not want to limit herself every time to just kitchen gatherings or enjoy romance while sitting in a broken-down “six” with a bottle of beer. For her friends, meetings at the cinema or cafe were commonplace, so she had to fork out for two each time. However, all patience comes to an end sooner or later. The next suitor received his resignation, but his place was soon taken by a new pretty dependent.
After hanging around with would-be admirers for several years, she decided that she had had enough, and the next man in her life would definitely be, if not a rich man, then at least a wealthy one. Soon, fate gave her a “jackpot”: a random text message from an unfamiliar young man arrived on her phone, clearly sent to the wrong address. Since the text in it required a quick response from the addressee, the girl decided to write that the message had gone to the wrong place. So a correspondence began with the stranger, which led to romantic dates. Later he told her that he had been divorced for five years, was terribly lonely and dreamed of his own family, and besides (this was decisive for the girl) he had his own small business. To the joy of the friend, her new friend paid without a word in all the cafes and restaurants where they happened to be, pampering her with small gifts. Every day she received dozens of caring text messages from him and was ready to soar on the wings of happiness - finally her dream came true and she met the one with whom she was ready to share her life...
But soon the young man disappeared: his phone desperately indicated that “the subscriber’s device is turned off.” For hundreds of her text messages, only one answer came - “not delivered.” The girl began to fear that something had happened - an accident or some other misfortune. Her friends put forward a version that her new boyfriend might be married - he took a walk, returned to his family and turned off his phone. But two weeks later the “disappearance” was reported in person. According to the young man, due to the fault of his suppliers, he did not fulfill the order of some very influential “brothers”, he ended up with a lot of money and spent these two weeks visiting friends and relatives, trying to collect the required amount. He supposedly almost succeeded, only a little was missing - 500 thousand rubles, could she lend him this amount? The girl, of course, did not have that kind of money, and she regretfully had to refuse. The young man disappeared and never appeared again. Apparently, he hoped to make good money on his charm: women tend to feel sorry for unlucky men and are often ready to part with money so as not to upset the object of their adoration.
A comment
Irina DANILOVA, psychologist:
- For some men, being a gigolo is a kind of profession. A cute boy next to an aging lady who pays for his every whim is not such a rare situation. However, in our case, apparently, we are not dealing with a professional gigolo, but with a fraudster who openly tried to cash in on his goodwill and trust.
As for the girl, she is overly strong, self-sufficient and has a masculine behavior strategy. It seems to her that she attracts bad and weak men. She is partly right - only a man who has a lowered threshold of anxiety can approach a strong woman: either he is very confident in himself, or he is a criminal element, accustomed to taking more risks than being “knocked off” by a beauty, or a professional gigolo for whom this is his style life, game.
A girl needs to change her own worldview, not be afraid to sometimes be weak, defenseless, and ask her stronger half for support and help. Then there will definitely be someone who will not look into her wallet.
Out of the frying pan into the fire
What is most striking is how easily men become parasites of their life partners and do not consider this shameful, they say, this is how circumstances have developed and the “bad weather” needs to be waited out. But, alas, the wait often drags on for years.
Elizabeth's first husband was an open alcoholic. At first it looked like just a favorite pastime - friends, feasting, drinking. But then Lisa began to notice that her beloved smelled of alcohol regularly. Her requests to stop drinking alcohol every day led to nothing. Each evening was accompanied by a couple of cans of beer. Soon his addiction led to him being fired from his job. This failure led to a whole series of quarrels, family squabbles and even fights. After more bruises, Elizabeth decided that she had had enough and filed for divorce. But the completely insolent husband did not want to so easily part with his beloved, who had been supporting him for all the years of hard drinking, and filed a lawsuit for the division of jointly acquired property.
By the way, the apartment and almost all the furnishings were purchased with Lisa’s funds, but then she didn’t even think about the fact that she would have to share it all. Now it was too late to bite the elbows. The “distribution” of the property, to the joy of her ex-husband, took place - the apartment had to be sold, and Elizabeth was forced to return to live with her parents. It was uncomfortable to share life even with people close to her. Accustomed to independence, Lisa found a part-time job and was about to rent a house alone when Mikhail appeared on her way. A stately, handsome former military man went on the attack and showered the girl with flowers and compliments - all this she did not see from her ex and quickly surrendered to the mercy of the winner. For all the wedding turmoil, the girl did not notice how the celebration again took place at her expense. At that time, my beloved did not work and was treated in the hospital for a shell shock received during one of the military raids.
The holidays were replaced by everyday life, Lisa worked all day, taking part-time work from home to provide their family with a decent life. In the evenings, to the rhythmic tapping of the sewing machine, the husband reclined on the sofa and ranted about how well they would heal when he opened his own business - a gym and Elizabeth no longer had to commute to Moscow every day. Just to open your own business required funds, and not small ones. Another husband again hinted at her wallet. Now, taught by bitter experience, Lisa is in no hurry to lend to her unemployed husband, but it would be a shame to lose her loved one over money.

So, the misconception is that the gigolo will certainly be as described in popular articles, namely: he will be well-groomed and expensively dressed; will be polite and helpful, will flatter you from the first meeting and shower you with compliments; and, of course, he will forget his wallet in the cafe.

Of course, some of this will definitely happen, but it will fit in so naturally, neatly and smoothly, that you won’t notice right away. Most often, there will be a lot of words at once about the seriousness of your relationship. After all, this is what almost every woman wants, tired of infantile male users, and this is what automatically introduces the scammer into the circle of your closest people. Alphonses mimic, adapt to the changing reality in order to survive and squeeze money and soul out of you. Their methods of manipulation are changing, since for the most part they are not fools and also read and watch programs “How to recognize a gigolo.” Nowadays, many gigolos, in order not to arouse suspicion, skillfully create around themselves for the victim the appearance of a normal, ordinary life.

I know stories where the gigolo introduced the victim to his mother, who was “in the know,” and supposedly to his sister, who in fact turned out to be his wife and accomplice. Alphonses skillfully organize the appearance of work and business activities. In the event of a victim, they receive calls from mythical business partners. The gigolos seem to go to work and are constantly busy solving very important business issues. All this makes it difficult to recognize deception at the very beginning. After all, the victim had not had such experience of deception before, and a normal, unafraid woman simply cannot predict such a development of events. I foresee objections: what about women’s intuition? Well, a woman couldn’t help but feel the falsehood; she herself, therefore, wanted to be deceived. To some extent, we are all deceived day after day, since it is more and more difficult to live in a reality that is becoming harsher day by day.

Popular

We are now considering a case where there is intentional deception, that is, fraud on the part of a man. And it is very difficult to recognize it in advance, because... many gigolos are sociopaths, and a sociopath often has bright charisma and attractive energy (and at the hormonal level too), which can “turn off the head” of even the most intelligent young lady. In addition, they are good manipulators; they deftly and unobtrusively find your weak spot. These can be some kind of dreams and fantasies on any topic, into which he is built in such a way that you create the illusion that he will fulfill them; It can also be a game of similarity, kinship of some interests, hobbies and views. In general, the victim quickly begins to think that they are very similar, and that he can make her cherished dreams and desires come true. They can also play on a woman’s maternal instincts in the desire to help and protect. To do this, the gigolo must look in the eyes of a woman as an innocently offended victim of the evil world. However, this scenario is already familiar to many women, so gigolo scammers will improve their techniques, trying to make the relationship as similar as possible to “normal” until he gets what he wants from the woman.

So, what then should you do to protect yourself from gigolo, protect your finances, and most importantly, your soul and heart, but at the same time not begin to suffer from paranoia and be afraid of relationships in general, or destroy them with a normal man, turning into a distrustful investigator every second ?

The first thing you need to do after meeting is to collect as much information as possible about the man whose past you know only from his words. Don’t be satisfied with meeting just one supposedly close and dear person. Search engines and social networks can help you. Alfonsos can change their names, so try looking for information about him using his photograph. Many will now say that it is “low” that you need to trust the man you love. “Trust, but verify,” says a popular proverb. Remorse can be “shut up” with thoughts that the world has become too cruel, and you care about your safety and the safety of those close to you.

During the communication process, you need to try not to lose your head and listen to what he tells you. Be attentive to literally every word: he can get confused on little things. Ask questions about his past and current life more often. Analyze and compare facts.

Alphonse scams you out of money at the peak of your emotions, at the peak of falling in love - usually in the first months of a stormy acquaintance. They often don’t let you come to your senses and capture all your attention with their persona. Therefore, if they ask you for money, and you understand that you cannot adequately and unemotionally assess the situation, I strongly recommend turning to your loved ones for advice. And the main advice, of course, is not to give a man money or other benefits, unless you don’t mind losing them completely. Of course, not a single piece of advice will give you a 100% guarantee of protection, but if you were nevertheless deceived by a gigolo scammer, you have gained invaluable experience. This means that you will no longer be deceived in this way. Well, I really hope so.

It is sometimes difficult for lovers to control the situation, and dishonest men take advantage of this. Alphonses are capable of poisoning life, and even ruining a girl who carelessly paid attention to such a dishonest gentleman.

Among the many candidates for life partners, sometimes there are men whom it is better to avoid. They not only destroy your life, but negatively affect your self-esteem, making you feel worthless and unnecessary. Of course, they may look like princes from a fairy tale, but when tested they turn out to be empty and greedy people. Alphonse can be recognized. To do this, it is important not to rush headlong into the pool. Even if a man gives you compliments, actively courtes you and shows his wonderful attitude, do not rush to give him your savings. Remember that this type of man is used to living at the expense of others, and if you take off your rose-colored glasses, you will quickly find all the signs of a gigolo.

Your chosen one is simply incredibly courteous

Having barely identified a victim, the gigolo immediately turns on his charm. Seeing a wealthy lady, this rogue will shower her with compliments, look after her beautifully and literally conquer her with his imaginary love. Alphonse are subtle psychologists and it will not be difficult for them to crack even a tough nut.

You can recognize who is in front of you already at this stage. You will not be invited to an expensive restaurant and given a bouquet of lush roses, but will be invited to admire the beauty of the sunset sky or the stars. If you want to have dinner or drink wine, you will buy it at your own expense accompanied by the guy’s embarrassed story that he forgot his money at home and did not expect to meet such a beauty like you today. But tomorrow he will charmingly give you a wonderful dinner, which, by the way, you will again have to pay for. Believe me, the gigolo will find a reason to force you to do this voluntarily.

He will listen more than talk

The strange thing is that gigolos try to remain silent or change the subject when it comes to their personal life. At a time when ordinary men boast about their achievements, gigolos prefer to find out what kind of condition you have. Even after several months of dating, you will not know absolutely anything: neither his residential address, nor his place of work, nor his friends. They are excellent psychologists, so while you pour out your soul to them, they will recognize your weak points. Afterwards, they will definitely use the knowledge they gain to manipulate you.

Hello dear readers. In this article you will find out who the gigolo is. You will become aware of the main characteristics that define such a person. You will find out why men become gigolos. You will know what to do to break up with such a man.

What is

Many modern girls do not limit themselves to housework or raising children. They become quite independent, successful, business women. They can receive higher education and even have their own business. Often it is precisely this development of events that leads to the appearance of men who decide to live at the expense of a woman. Sometimes a woman who lives modestly and has a low social status can also come into the attention of a dependent.

There are three types of gigolos.

1. Seducer. Such a man will show with all his appearance that he had to go through a lot. Such a person's emotions are restrained. He may seem indecisive. This is what will add more charm. He may also have the image of a gloomy, mysterious guy with sadness in his eyes. It is possible that he will also be a cheerful person, the soul of any company. He will definitely shower his chosen one with compliments. At the beginning of the relationship, he will give you a bouquet of flowers, maybe make a gift. As soon as he sees that a woman has fallen for him, he will stop spending money on her. The main goal of such a gigolo: to win the heart of a woman, to tie her to himself. Such a guy can have several women at the same time. But they will all think that they are the only ones with him. It is very easy to get rid of such a man, just stop sponsoring him or report non-existent difficulties with money.
2. Slacker. For some reason, a man may lose his job. At this moment, all care for the family will fall on the woman’s shoulders. It’s good if her income is enough to provide for everyone. It’s good if the husband in such a situation decides to help around the house and raise the children. However, most often at first he will be looking for a new job, and after that he will decide that he is fine as is. The goal of such a man is to make a profit while spending a minimum amount of effort. He likes to sit on a woman's neck. The victims of such gigolos are gullible girls with low self-esteem, ready to sacrifice everything for the sake of love. A man is trying to subjugate a woman’s will, and in doing so will trample her even further into the dirt. In such a relationship, the woman will simultaneously work in several places, raise children, run the household, and the husband will have fun, sit in front of the TV or computer. He can easily find reasons to explain staying at home, for example, an unclaimed profession, poor health, creative nature. If a woman begins to express her dissatisfaction, the gigolo will pretend that he is busy looking for a new job and will study newspapers. However, this is all appearance. As a rule, such a slacker cannot withstand criticism and is very proud and proud. He will not leave his family on his own, only if he meets a more advantageous candidate, a wealthy woman.
3. Professional. He is decisive, smart, intelligent, always purposeful, and presents himself from the best side. He has clear goals, he knows his worth. As a rule, financial well-being is not the main goal. Of greater importance is a decent social status and the acquisition of useful connections. In order to fully correspond to his chosen one, such a man will take care of his appearance, clothes, availability of transport, will visit the gym, go to the solarium, and will be well versed in female psychology. Alphonse of this type takes care of his body, timbre of voice, manners, and knows how. He is well versed in all areas of life of the wealthy. The chosen one may be aware of what her companion is like. But she is satisfied with this state of affairs if there is a handsome, well-groomed young man next to her. The main goal: by the onset of middle age, acquire money, connections, and housing. As a rule, such a man’s chosen one becomes a woman much older than him. He may seek to enter into a legal union in order to inherit his wife's fortune after her death.

Why do people grow up to be gigolos?

1. From childhood, a boy gets used to the fact that a woman can be more authoritative than a man if he has a powerful mother.
2. A child who grows up with overprotection will become irresponsible and cowardly. And these qualities will stimulate an adult man to have dependent needs.
3. The child is pampered and given everything he dreams of. At the same time, he makes no effort. In such a situation, a person grows up who wants to make a profit at someone else’s expense.
4. Guys who sensibly assess their attractiveness and know how to use it become gigolos. At a young age, such a person is not deprived of female attention. As he grows up, he realizes that he can benefit from this. He begins to look for a patroness, his benefactor.

Features of the behavior of such people

Let's look at what signs characterize such men.

1. Great importance is paid to appearance. They visit the gym, go to the beauty salon, and always take care of their body.
2. When communicating with a girl, they look straight into the eyes, take their time in their statements, and deliberately make meaningful pauses.
3. They listen with genuine interest to their companion’s stories about her personal life and problems at work.
4. They don’t show their documents, they don’t rush to invite the girl to their home, or introduce her to friends or relatives.
5. They bribe women with their attentiveness and good manners. As a rule, such people are generous with compliments, but you can rarely expect any gifts from them.
6. When asked about work, they answer in general phrases, avoid a direct answer, and try to shift the conversation to another topic.
7. When they are asked for something, they refuse, justifying their action with some important matter, or they agree to help, but only next time.
8. They confess their love to their page, promise to live with her until the end of their days, and make joint plans for the future.
9. They do everything so that the chosen one communicates as little as possible or completely breaks off relations with her friends and relatives. They are afraid that they will open her eyes.

How to figure out a gigolo

Every woman should know what the characteristics of a person with gigolo tendencies are. A girl can easily bring such a guy to light, by carrying out simple actions, to achieve the truth.

1. You need to start a conversation with a man about his work. Tell him that this is important to you, you want to learn more about him so that you can begin to trust him. Ask what is interesting about his profession, what difficulties he has to face. If a guy has nothing to hide, he will easily talk about everything.
2. If the gentleman does tell you where he works, then you can try to find out the organization’s phone number using the Internet. Now it's a matter of small things. It’s enough just to call and ask a friend to speak to the phone. If the guy cheated, they will tell you that such a person does not work for them.
3. If you already know that the man lied, when you meet, tell him that you called the office. See how he reacts, whether he wants to change the topic of conversation, or whether he tries to shower you with compliments.
4. You can understand that you can be a gigolo if on the first dates the man behaves generously, and then it is you who will have to pay for dinners. And all because he forgot his wallet, put out his credit card, and forgot to top up his account on the card. At the same time, he will apologize very strongly, saying how ashamed he is that this happened. With such actions, he touches a woman’s feeling of pity. Over time, the manipulator achieves that the woman herself wants to spend money on him, buy him gifts.
5. Try to calculate how much money a man spends on you, and how much you spend on him. If it is much less, the relationship is doomed.
6. Ask to see your passport. If a man has something to hide, he will try to avoid it in every possible way.
7. Alphonse will never agree to a joint photo and, even more so, to have it posted on social networks. He will justify this by saying that he works in the secret service, he cannot be seen.
8. If you ask him to introduce you to your relatives, you will see that he is against it.
9. The gigolo's way of luring a woman into his network is to introduce himself as a wealthy man who recently suffered a bankruptcy. At the same time, over time, he will definitely begin to ask for help with restoring the business. And when he finds out that the woman is deeply in love, he will ask him to take out a bank loan for him.
10. Such men always ask their potential victim about her material well-being. Moreover, they do it in such a way that she does not always immediately understand why exactly the young man is interested.

A woman must understand that her companion must be a breadwinner, strives to earn money, provide for himself and his family. If the complete opposite of such a person is nearby, it means that you have contacted a gigolo.

How to identify such a man on a dating site

When starting acquaintance on a virtual network, a man has the opportunity to evaluate his chosen one and tries to understand whether she is worth spending his time on. In addition, the first stage does not require spending any money. How can a woman understand that a gigolo is corresponding with her?

1. He happily sends his personal photos. Moreover, they are taken close-up, show the face, and there are also full-length images. Most often made in a professional studio. It is important for a man to look as attractive as possible. What is important is that such a guy’s appearance will be literally perfect.
2. The gigolo writes without errors, the sentences are constructed correctly.
3. A man literally showers a woman with compliments and shows great interest in her life.
4. There is not the slightest hint of rudeness or vulgarity in the correspondence.
5. He will definitely point out that he really wants to find true love, but until today he has had no luck with girls.
6. He asks a lot about a woman’s life, but says practically nothing about himself.
7. If a woman writes that she has financial problems, such a man will no longer contact her.

How to break up with such a person

The moment a woman realizes that there is a gigolo next to her, she understands that she cannot build a relationship with him, because his feelings are not real, but selfish. The trouble is that at this time she is already in love enough and is able to forgive everything. It is very difficult to step on your own throat, step over your feelings and break off such relationships. Many girls are naive to hope that such a guy is able to change, that he is really in love. In fact, you can test the truth of a man’s feelings, as well as prove to yourself that this relationship is, at a minimum, meaningless. It is enough for you to say that serious financial difficulties have arisen, for example, you are left without a job. Say that you have decided that from this day on the young man will support you. There will be no trace left of him.

If the relationship has gone far enough, then getting rid of the gigolo will not be so easy. In such a situation, you need to do the following.

1. Stop helping him, leave the young man without financial support, ask for mutual help.
2. Come up with a serious problem and repeat it constantly.
3. Ask the young man to go to work, because you need to pay off large debts, but you yourself cannot cope.
4. You need to be prepared for the fact that after a breakup, there will be a feeling of emptiness, loneliness and pain. This happens because there comes an awareness of helplessness, an understanding that you have been deceived. Psychologists often help get out of this state. Often, a girl may continue to be depressed and distrustful of men. She must understand that she can quickly find her happiness.

Now you know how to recognize a gigolo. You must understand that you cannot live with such a person, and trying to change him is very difficult. Remember that gigolos pursue selfish goals and rarely truly love anyone.

Every woman can meet a gigolo man. Neither your appearance, nor your age, nor your material well-being play a special role.

Alphonse is looking for an opportunity to live at someone else's expense, without looking closely at his new victim. The main condition is that the victim must be ready to become a “donor” for him.

A gigolo man is one of those types of men with whom... How can they be dangerous? Strictly speaking, if you are aware that they are trying to use you, but you are satisfied with this for some reason, gigolo can be relatively harmless.

But a gigolo will be truly dangerous if his victim suspects nothing about his true motives. Female love is an amazing state when we are ready not to notice the negativity and look for excuses for all, even the most unseemly, actions of our chosen ones. Naturally, with the expectation of reciprocity. And there is no reciprocity here.

Alphonse is not the man with whom you can feel like behind a stone wall. He is not going to take responsibility for you or your relationship. As soon as the “stream” of benefits from your hands is blocked, he will immediately go in search of a new source.

How to recognize a gigolo in your new acquaintance? After all, none of this brethren will tell you directly, “Darling, I need money, are you ready to support me?” In order not to fall for the gigolo’s bait, you need to know the signs and characteristics of his behavior. So, how does a gigolo behave if you come into his field of vision?

Incredibly courteous

Noticing a suitable woman on the horizon, the gigolo turns on all his charm. A scattering of exquisite compliments and impressively beautiful courtship await you, however, without any special expenses on his part.

Instead of a “banal” bouquet of roses (to spend as little as possible), you will be invited to admire the stars on the roof. By the way, you will buy champagne. Because he will either “forget” or embarrassedly admit that he was afraid to offer you this idea so that you wouldn’t think anything for an hour...

It all looks quite natural and very cute. It may well be mistaken for a sincere passion for you, especially if you would like it so much.

Listens more than speaks

Unlike most men who love to talk about themselves and their life achievements, gigolo is in no hurry to open his soul to you. What a soul there is, even after three months from the date of your acquaintance you will still not know where he works, or what the name of his closest friend is.

But he will listen to you extremely carefully. Alfons are excellent psychologists. And by what and how you talk about yourself, he will be able to “probe” your weak points, so that he can then successfully manipulate you.

Do you have a complex about being overweight? He will convince you that everyone around you is just an idiot for not noticing your natural beauty, which belongs in the paintings of great artists. Are you worried that in a couple of years you’ll be 40 and still don’t have a family? It will give you hope that you can build a cozy nest with him. No one to fix the fence at the dacha? He will put on a whole show with swinging a hammer and a saw. True, he will do little, but the thought will be imprinted in your head that he is finally a real man you can rely on...

And the gigolo is also very interested in the nuances of your financial situation. An apartment, a car, a bank account, savings in a house - he absorbs all this information like a sponge, determining in advance what he can profit from.

Avoids making important decisions

In the life of a gigolo there is only one love - a comfortable and carefree life for his beloved. Your interests and problems do not bother him at all.

If you need his help, you most likely won't get it. All he can give you is endless excuses for his inactivity. The gigolo man is not capable of any decisions or real actions.

He is haunted by problems and troubles

After the first stage of the “candy-bouquet” relationship, the gigolo, convinced of your sympathy for him, will begin to test the waters for the implementation of his plans.

Usually it goes like this. Your boyfriend’s mother may suddenly fall ill, and her operation requires “some unfortunate 2 thousand dollars.” Or some terrible people from the past will suddenly find him, demanding to pay off a debt for a friend who died and did not have time to pay off. Or at an imaginary job there will be an accident, the theft of a safe or damage to goods, for which, of course, they will “put the blame” on him... He has already sold everything, and did not tell you before, so as not to upset him, but still he has not yet been able to collect the full amount.

They will tell you about all this with a bowed head, demonstrating the final degree of despair and loss of faith in people and this life in general. The amount in question will not be too large, but also not so insignificant for your budget.

Of course, in most cases, a loving woman will rush into battle to save her beloved. What is 2 thousand dollars when his life is in danger? Yes, you will have to re-borrow something and reschedule the loan payment, but these are minor things...

Yes, troubles will haunt him constantly. As soon as your mother (whom you will never be introduced to) recovers, he will flood the neighbors’ apartment, and they will threaten to sue if he does not compensate for the damage caused. No one will show you the apartment, and indeed it will be in another city.

“Money is not the main thing”

Yes Yes exactly. This is exactly what you will hear in response to your modest question about repaying a debt or financial participation in some common cause. “Dear... I thought you had already forgotten... well, money is not the main thing, the main thing is that I love you...”. And the facial expression will be so innocently insulted that it is simply impossible not to repent and immediately apologize for your tactlessness.

A gentle nature may even be offended and even disappear for a couple of days, only to appear later with a bouquet of daisies and further declarations of love and the impossibility of living without you. And in a month or two some other trouble will happen, which only you can solve with your wallet.

How to get rid of gigolo?

Make it clear that you are experiencing financial difficulties. Not in words, but in deeds. You have been deprived of your annual bonus, transferred to a low-paid position, and your apartment is not yours at all, but your nieces from Canada, and she is about to come here with her husband and child to sell it.

A truly loving man will begin to look for a way out of this situation and offer some solutions and his help. Alphonse will lose interest in you as soon as he realizes that there is nothing for him to “catch” here. More and more often you will hear an offer on the phone to reschedule the meeting for tomorrow or the weekend, and then he will completely disappear from your life.

Be careful when making new acquaintances. If something confuses you in the behavior of your new gentleman, most likely it is not without reason. Carry out the test described above and look at the man’s reaction. This is much better than experiencing mental trauma and dealing with financial problems left to you by your would-be boyfriend.