How to understand love or sympathy. How to distinguish love from feelings of falling in love, affection, passion, hobbies, friendship, that a person just likes: comparison, signs, psychology, test

The question of what is love, falling in love or just sympathy has remained unresolved for centuries. Many people have been dating each other for many years, but no one can answer: how to distinguish love from falling in love or sympathy? We will now try to deal with this issue.

How to distinguish love from infatuation

To begin with, you should consider whether you want happiness for your loved one, whether you want to do the best for him, but at the same time, as it seems to you, he does not treat you with the same tenderness and does not want the same for you. This is a sign of great sympathy, but perhaps even love.

If your loved one decides to leave you for another person, finds another love, how will you feel? If you also wish him happiness, while suffering from pain, then such a feeling can be called love.

It is important to figure out what you feel, if a person looks at you, if you feel inspired and inspired, then, apparently, this is love.

If you want children from a person and see a joint future with him, then this is love.

Many philosophers have interpreted the meaning of love, each giving different definitions.

But in order to distinguish love from falling in love, you need to understand in yourself what love is for you and what sympathy is for you.

When a person is next to you, your heart is beating wildly, you want to spend all your time with him, forgetting about everything, you dream of children, a joint home, you feel insanely happy ... This is not necessarily the same love, most likely , it's just one of the factors of falling in love or just passion.

Love, on the other hand, is tested by time, when passion passes, a different feeling appears, perhaps it is a simple habit, but some call this feeling love.

When you love, you don't dream about children, you have them, raise them, you find a common language when choosing a house, you wait for each other from work, despite the fact that no one has earned anything, you help each other if someone then more tired. You and best friends and lovers have gone through a lot together, and wealth and poverty, and separation and disappointment, but at the same time your feelings have not faded away and you are also ready to support each other, as before, to wish each other happiness and do everything for this. Then this feeling can be called love.

In fact, love is different for everyone. But believe me, that feeling when you cannot sleep or eat is certainly not love, love is when you feel good and comfortable. Try not to confuse these two feelings and find your love!

5 ways to tell love from falling in love

It is unfortunate that strong love can be confused with ordinary passion or falling in love. Only after a couple of years of relationship, one can already judge if there is love or not at all. After all, after this period, all passions will simply fade away and then it will be much easier to understand what you feel for each other. After all, you have to take off your rose-colored glasses and understand how everything really is. Try to name good qualities, not counting external ones. If you cannot do this, then there is no love between you.

How to recognize true love? If there is no respect in a relationship, then there can be no talk of love. Think carefully about the deeds of your love. Do they show you respect. For example, if you are respected, then without your knowledge, the choice will not be accepted. Be very careful about this factor.

If your partner has self-interest, then there is no love between you. After all, if a loved one does everything that is beneficial only to him, then this is very sad. A loved one will do everything to make you happy. He will each time talk about his feelings, what he feels for you, how strong his love is.

If you decide to understand the love in your relationship, then carefully consider if you have any motives for being with this person. Also, it is worth noting that love gives place to freedom, that is, there is a place for jealousy, but here you need a measure and a line that cannot be crossed. If a person really loves, then he will not ask for proof of love, because love does not need reciprocity.

If love is real, then many can do many different things that are very difficult to explain. A loved one will never try to become one with you, he will love you with all his heart, but at the same time, he will give you time for your personal life. Loving people, say "we", but at the same time, but individuals who are free. But if someone said “I”, then this is no longer love, so you should carefully pay attention to this.

How to distinguish love from sympathy

Think about whether you want only the best for this person, even though he may not treat you the way you treat him, with less warmth. Perhaps this is one of the signs of love. However, it can also be called a sign of sympathy.

If this person rejects you and starts dating someone else, leaving you with no hope of rekindling the relationship, will you continue to have the same feelings for him. If the answer is “yes”, then this can be considered a sign of love.

How do you react if this person looks at you, smiles at you, does your heart skip a beat. Do you feel at this moment in the "seventh heaven". If the answer is yes, then most likely you love. If the answer is "no", then it's probably just sympathy, strong, but sympathy.

Are you ready to do everything possible, just to know that the person you care about is alive, happy and healthy, despite the fact that he is far away from you. If yes, then we can say for sure that this is a sign of love.

Do you feel ready to live with that person who is so dear to you for a long life together, sharing all the joys and hardships in half, giving all your strength, all of yourself in order to make life the happiest for this person. If yes, then you have love for that person, an all-consuming and very strong feeling, which is not sympathy.

Do you lose interest in being with him, no matter what happens, do you feel the desire to be with this person all your life. If the answer is yes, then this brings you closer to the fact that the feeling you are experiencing is love.

Do you feel simultaneously attracted to this person as the opposite sex and as a person. If so, then it is more love than sympathy.

When deciding what feeling you have for that person, love or sympathy, and how to distinguish love from sympathy, do you want to have common children with him. Will you be happy to find in your children the features of this person, while experiencing a sense of joy, tenderness and pride. If so, then you love.

If you have ceased to be interested in the representatives of the opposite sex, thereby turning into some kind of "middle creatures", then most likely we can talk about love, and not about sympathy.

Existence without love is meaningless. Even if people claim that they do not need love at all, the reality is somewhat different. This is just a defensive reaction of a person who has never experienced a great feeling and does not know what it is. Everyone wants to love and be loved, but the desire to meet a soul mate often leads to disastrous results. Hoping to find their happiness, people can confuse ordinary sympathy with true love.

Many films have been made about love, countless books have been written, but no one still knows how to properly recognize this feeling. A bad experience can lead to disappointment in life. In order to protect yourself from unnecessary shocks, you need to be able to soberly assess the situation.

Main differences

Men and women constantly confuse such important concepts as love and sympathy. At first glance, these feelings are very similar, but in reality they are very different from each other. In order to build a strong and fruitful relationship, you first need to understand your feelings for your partner. Realization may come too late. The main rule in this difficult matter is that love and sympathy are very similar, but they must follow each other, and not exist together.

Relations between a man and a woman begin with sympathy. It is the natural beginning of any relationship. It is this spark that makes lovers pay attention to each other, endows the partner with ideal qualities, even if they are absent. A woman blinded by feelings may simply not notice the negative qualities of the chosen one. This also applies to men. Euphoria from sympathy is fleeting, sooner or later it will pass. After her disappearance, it becomes clear whether serious feelings have appeared.

How then to explain love at first sight? Psychologists believe that this is not love at all, but simply a strong sympathy with an obsessive character. A person strikes you to the core, depriving you of peace and completely occupying your thoughts. But it won't always be like this, and it's wrong to call it love. It takes more time for love to arise.

Unlike sympathy, love is selective. Falling in love, a person evaluates the qualities of a partner and decides whether he can accept his shortcomings as they are. Sympathy, on the other hand, does not see negative qualities, completely idealizing shortcomings. It passes, and you remain in a slight bewilderment, not understanding how you could like such a person.

Several ways

If you find yourself in a difficult situation, you can use the following methods to sort out your feelings. Before you take a serious step and open your feelings, you need to look at what is happening from the other side. A few simple tips will help you make a difficult choice.

• Do you want to please someone? It may seem silly, but in reality, a person always wants to see a smile on the face of a loved one. The desire to please a partner and please him with an unexpected surprise, without demanding anything in return, can be one of the main signs of serious feelings. If you do not want to waste time on such nonsense, you should seriously think about it.
• What do you feel when you see the chosen one? If you are overwhelmed with a feeling of boundless happiness and warmth at the sight of an object of sympathy, then perhaps this is true love.
• Are you contemplating a future together? Think about whether you can imagine a partner as a husband or wife. Do you see your common children, everyday life and life together? In fact, this is very important, because it is these things that determine the real feelings of a person. If a man or woman absolutely does not attract you as a partner for the future, then you should forget about such a relationship and try to find something else.
• Are you interested in being together? You need to think about what exactly attracts you in a prospective lover. In the case of sympathy, this can only be external data, while love involves more serious reasons.

happy ending

Having correctly assessed the situation, you can avoid broken hopes and disappointments. Often, supposed love can turn out to be sympathy or develop into a strong friendship. However, it should be remembered that excessive caution can also lead to negative consequences. In matters of the heart, you should trust only yourself and not listen to the opinions of others.

Do not be afraid to make a mistake, the main thing is to always give an account of your own actions. Sympathy is a slight feeling that can appear suddenly and disappear in the same way. And love is something else that is not given to every person. Only by listening to your heart, you can find out the true nature of your feelings.

Sympathy is a positive attitude towards someone or something, which is expressed by the manifestation of goodwill, attention and admiration. The reasons for the emergence of sympathy can be very diverse. Sometimes it is even difficult to explain why we sympathize with one person, but are completely indifferent to another ...

Why do we feel sympathy?

When we say that we like a person, as a rule, we mean that we like something about him. It can be his external attractiveness, a charming smile, gestures, and so on. In addition, these may be his personal characteristics: sociability, optimism. For example, you are comfortable communicating with this person, you can easily find common topics, laugh at the same jokes. Sympathy is a noncommittal pastime.

It should be noted that laughter is an important indicator of the quality of your communication. If you often laugh during conversations, it means that an excellent level of trust has been established between you and you are really very comfortable being together. If during joint meetings you do not know, awkward silence, there is definitely deep sympathy between you.

Like and dislike

Many of us know people who seem to have many virtues, but for some reason we are somehow oppressed by their presence around. The phenomena of sympathy and antipathy have not been fully studied to date. The specificity of these two concepts is that a positive or negative relationship between people is not established by anyone, but arises completely spontaneously.

Sympathy is a very mysterious mechanism. It usually either exists or it doesn't. We can conclude that we like or dislike a person in a few minutes of communication. If sympathy did not arise immediately, then it is unlikely to arise at the second meeting.

Love and love

Falling in love is a deeper and more serious feeling. A man in love wants to spend an incommensurably huge amount of time with the object of his adoration. Sympathy is when you just enjoy spending time together, when you are in love, you are in awe of a new meeting, you feel a surge of huge amounts of energy, you want to sing, dance, write poetry, or even just enjoy the simplest things.

Love is the deepest and most complex feeling. If, when falling in love, you see only the positive aspects of the chosen one (chosen one), then when you truly love, you see and accept all the shortcomings of a person. Sympathy and love have both very similar and distinctive features. Of course, a deep feeling always begins with interest, but not so often one leads to another.

Sympathy is a wonderful feeling that reveals the potential of a person. It is a reliable foundation for the development of more serious relationships. Surround yourself with people to whom you will experience and then the world will seem to you much more colorful, and life - beautiful and amazing!

So, how to understand, 💍 love 💍 or sympathy? In fact, this question is really difficult. It is not easy to understand and make the right decision. Love sometimes does strange things to us. But, sometimes, sympathy can be too strong. How can you tell if it's love or not? And if this is sympathy, is it worth it to let it develop into something more. How to understand exactly what feelings have arisen and what they will lead to?

In fact, everything is not so difficult as it might seem at first glance. Love sometimes arises from sympathy, and we do not even understand when exactly this happened. Sometimes a person just seems like a friend. He is pleasant, sweet, reliable. You want to be with this person, but there is no sexual attraction to him. For the time being, for the time being. And then everything suddenly changes. A man suddenly ceases to be just a pleasant friend for a girl. He is handsome, interesting, he can help and protect. It has a masculine feel to it. But, if a woman sees all this, can her feelings really be called love?

Of course not. In fact, there is a very thin line between our feelings. Sometimes, we ourselves are not aware when we cross it. You can probably understand what we are experiencing if we ask such a serious question: can I live without him? And do not allow yourself to answer: maybe. If a woman understands that she can let a man go, then he is her friend, brother, a person she likes. Love is when there is a feeling that it is really impossible to live without a person. As much as you don't want to. Even if you let go of such a person, anyway, sooner or later, you start thinking about him, dreaming and wanting to meet. And these desires are by no means only platonic. And do not be afraid of such a reaction to your object of love. This is absolutely normal, because, having strong emotional feelings of love for a person, we begin to desire him and nothing can be done about it.

Probably, sympathy can also be accompanied by similar feelings. But the difference is that with sympathy, these feelings are quite easily suppressed and forgotten. When love comes to a person, no matter how much he wants, he simply cannot forget about someone for too long and wants this person, no matter how much he wants to stop.

What else can be said about sympathy? Sympathy is most likely a more friendly feeling. Testing it for a person, we begin to look for a friend, comrade-in-arms, brother in him. If we see that he does not feel love for us, then we take this quite calmly. Of course, it can be a little unpleasant, but, in any case, such a feeling quickly passes. But when it comes to love, then the rejection and rejection of feelings irritates, angers and offends. A person wants his feelings not only understood, but also accepted. When this does not happen, he begins to worry, fall into depression and withdraw into himself for a long time. There are times when people, on the contrary, begin to splash out emotions on everyone around. But be that as it may, it is worth noting that a person who experiences love will be very worried and nervous if his love is not accepted.

Loving people differ from just sympathizers in that they are really ready for a lot for the object of their love. This also applies to his personal qualities and character, as well as appearance. If a loving person sees that the beloved does not like something, he will try to change himself so that he is appreciated and understood.

It's good when these changes lead to the fact that a person becomes really better, more beautiful and smarter. But often there are those cases when, for the sake of love, people go to completely meaningless actions. They change themselves and do not understand that these changes lead only to destruction. Yes, love is not always creative. Sometimes it can destroy, and so much so that it is then too difficult to return everything back and remind a person of who he was originally and what he lived for.

But, nevertheless, it is this feeling that is called real. For the sake of whom we sympathize, a person will never try to change himself radically, become more mature, smarter and braver. This situation can be modeled in different ways. But the essence will always remain the same. Love differs from sympathy in that for the sake of love we are ready to go to the end. But with sympathy, things are a little different. Yes, for a person we like, we can try to do quite a lot. But, nevertheless, when we understand that we are doing something wrong or simply not coping, then we simply give up our idea and begin to live the way we lived on. But a loving person may not stop even when everyone says that his behavior is practically inadequate.

Love and sympathy are those feelings that have the same root. But at the same time, they develop quite differently. Of course, not all people can quickly and adequately determine what exactly he feels. But, often, many need to understand what he feels and how to live with it. In fact, no matter how much we talk about theory and talk about logic, everything can be understood only if we dare to listen to our heart and intuition. If we do not forbid ourselves to feel or, conversely, do not force us to feel more than we have in our heart, it is easy to determine what kind of emotions we experience. When there is only sympathy, a person will never fall asleep and wake up thinking about this person. He will never cry just at the thought that he hurt a person and does not know how to fix this situation. In fact, love has a lot of different manifestations. However, she is real. We all love differently. And if, looking at someone, we understand that we simply cannot do without this person, no matter what happens there, even the end of the world, then this is exactly what love is.

The range of feelings here is the widest possible. Moreover, one feeling can easily flow into another. And therefore, the search for an answer to this seemingly simple question may be delayed. However, let's take a closer look at these feelings and try to separate the "wheat from the chaff".

1. Sympathy

Sympathy is a positive reaction to a person who turned out to be pleasant to us. Sympathy is formed literally in the first minutes of acquaintance and affects mainly those aspects that are easy to assess. Factors such as external physical attractiveness, stylish and well-chosen clothes, common interests - all this easily serves as the basis for the emergence of sympathy.

The presence of sympathy for a person does not mean that you will establish closer contact with him. But without sympathy, it’s certainly not necessary to talk about continuing the relationship.

2. Falling in love

Love takes its source from sympathy. However, this feeling has a much stronger emotional coloring. Falling in love is always an explosion of emotions. When you are in love, it's like adrenaline in your blood. You begin to notice that quite serious changes are taking place with your personality. The fact is that the main task of a lover is to please his partner. And here all means are good. Being in love sometimes makes you do things that, if you were in a "sober mind and good memory", you would never have done.

Girls experiment with their appearance. In pursuit of the ideal image, they can change themselves beyond recognition. And all in order to get closer to the object of their claims. Young people try on the role of a knight and try to do everything so that their chosen one can feel like a real princess.

Love is a demanding feeling. By its very nature, it is quite selfish. After all, if we discard all sentimentality, then we will see that Behind falling in love lies a desperate desire to be loved. And no matter how cynical it may sound, the lover actually uses his partner to satisfy his needs. Lovers are almost always forced to demand proof of their love from each other.(gifts, spending time together, etc.). As soon as one of the partners deviates from these unwritten rules, resentment immediately begins. The young man did not call his girlfriend in the evening. And never forgot before. Or a more serious offense - he forgot about her birthday and did not congratulate her. The girl is in a trance and is ready to believe that he has stopped loving her.

There can be many variations of "misconduct". Being in love is able to "invent" them in great numbers. And in order to make amends for his “guilt”, the partner who has committed a fault must provide his chosen one or chosen one with more and more evidence of his love.

Falling in love, in its essence, never gives a feeling of calmness and inner harmony. The lover seems to be participating in the rollercoaster ride again and again - he is either very good or very bad. Being in love will always keep you on your toes and you will be forced to constantly evaluate your partner's behavior.

Erich Fromm, in his book The Art of Loving, gives a stunningly accurate definition of falling in love: “Immature love says, “I love you because I need you.”

The need for another person as a means of satisfying one's need for love is the cornerstone of falling in love. Lovers are set to receive. Receive support, attention, affection, care. But sometimes they are not ready to give.

3. Love

The above quote by Erich Fromm has a continuation. And it concerns the description of the feeling of true love: “Mature love says, “I need you because I love you.”

Love grows out of falling in love, but has very little to do with it. True love is about giving. A loving person cannot feel good if the one he loves is bad. True love is sincere and selfless. She does not require constant proof of love from her partner. It makes no demands or conditions. A loving person is able to accept his partner as he is. It is worth noting that true love is not blind. She sees the partner's shortcomings, but treats them with respect. And all because a loving person tries to comprehend the personality of his partner and learn about the smallest features of his character.

Love, however, does not strive for such knowledge. She is too busy with herself - her feelings and experiences. Love sees its beloved or beloved only through the prism of its attitude. But people are all very different! So it turns out that after a while, falling in love passes and both partners understand that they are completely strangers. After all, each of them saw in each other not a truly personality, but only that ideal image of a personality that had developed in their heads. The proverb “love is evil - you will love a goat” did not appear out of nowhere. But this is not about love, but about falling in love.

Checking your feelings for a person is quite easy if you clearly understand the boundaries between sympathy, falling in love and love.

1. If in communication with your partner you like to talk about yourself and your successes, this is sympathy or falling in love. If you are set on knowing the personality of your partner, then this is love.

2. If you constantly need to receive evidence of your partner's love - gifts, increased attention, care, etc. - this is falling in love. Love is self-sufficient and does not require any sacrifice on the part of its chosen one.

3. A loving person is determined to give. His contribution to the development of the partner's personality is important to him. The lover, on the contrary, will try to get from his partner everything that he can give him (prestige, social status, material wealth, etc.).

In conclusion, I would like to note that the ability to sympathize and fall in love is available to absolutely everyone. But only an emotionally mature person can fully comprehend the art of love.