How trainings impact your life. The office goes into nirvana

I, too, once went through two stages of personal growth training. It was about six years ago.One good person gave me such an opportunity - he passed, he liked it and, like many others, he began to energetically spread the revelation that was new to him. So he gave me a gift.

How it works

Personal growth trainings known in Russia, as far as I understand, are generally based on the American Lifespring system and are modified to suit the preferences and inclinations of a particular coaching team, current fashion and direction of work. But the method is approximately the same everywhere.

A person comes to training in search of new motivation to live, a way out of some dead end, and comes dissatisfied with his life. A noticeable amount of money is taken from him (so that he would be sorry to leave without completing the path to the end), and the work begins. In general, the training consists of three stages. Each subsequent one is longer, more expensive and more complex than the previous one. You could even say it's tougher.

At the first stage, a person is shown a beautiful picture: confident trainers tell him that a person’s main and only problem is fear. That it is precisely because of fear that a newly acquired adept has no money, no happiness in his personal life, no job that he needs, and so on. It was from training that the concept of a “comfort zone” came about, which supposedly needs to be left in order to achieve success.

And if you reject fear and simply consistently move towards your goal, your life will immediately change. That's all.

To convince those who come, coaches use absolutely any rhetorical means - ridicule, humiliation, rude intrusion into a person’s personal life - anything, as long as the coach with his philosophy looks like a great guy, and the opponent fades away. And since everything that the coach offers is a priori aimed at the benefit of the listeners, then any of his actions are not humiliation and ridicule, but helping people get closer to their own goals. The rapid change of harsh pressure and stories about a wonderful future after the training does not allow one to concentrate on criticism, and it gradually fades away.

A typical example: someone disagrees with the coach, arguing that confidence and leaving the comfort zone alone will not solve the problem. The coach agrees - yes, it’s impossible, you’re right, but look - you’re unhappy, it’s obvious, you spent so much money so that someone could teach you how to live. You're right, but you're unhappy. You can stay in your swamp. But then let’s decide clearly - “do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” And this question is loudly and harshly repeated many times.

The pressure alternates with exercises, some fun and unifying, some simply emotionally disinhibiting. At the end, everyone is invited to undergo the second stage of training, after which they promise mandatory changes. And this is much more serious.

Because the second stage lasts several days from early morning until late at night and includes more than just hurtful conversations and encouraging pats on the shoulder. Here the participants will actually have to do something that is unpleasant and not desirable. Overcome fears, embarrassment, indecision. Saying unpleasant things about yourself publicly, experiencing strong anger and failures, enduring ridicule, worrying about each other, and so on. Sometimes coaches can simply yell obscenities at an adept.

Teams are made up of people, and each person is held accountable for the overall result (that is, team pressure is added to the pressure of the coaches). People are forced to remember traumatic experiences and relive them. Sometimes they harshly direct and rush you, then suddenly the coaches sit in the back row with a bored look and you need to turn on your imagination out of nowhere and find a way to interest them. There are games like "submarine" where you have to make difficult ethical choices, and the overall electric atmosphere turns the game into a real drama.

There are tasks when you need to go out in front of everyone and “create” something - that is, make everyone feel some kind of feeling. In any way to awaken joy or love in the entire team. People confirm that the feeling was born by standing up.

This alternates with hugs, praise, admiration and support. Any dissatisfaction is brushed aside with two main arguments - “The door is over there, but if you go out, you will lose money and lose the benefit that lies ahead” and “Without going through this experience, you cannot become happy.”

Of course, assignments constantly revolve around painful topics - money, sex, status, unforgiven grievances and lost opportunities. They themselves are quite variable, but, as a rule, each participant is selected what is especially difficult for him. An insecure girl can be sent to pretend to be a prostitute, a self-confident businessman can be taken out into the street under the guise of a homeless man covered in natural slop, and a tough macho man with prison experience will have to walk around with painted lips, eyeliner and pretend to be a parody of a gay man.

In general, the entire system is aimed at the strongest emotional buildup of a group of people. Sleep-deprived, disinhibited, having no time to think (the program is being pushed almost all the time, there are almost no pauses), to be left alone, to consult with others (phones are prohibited), or simply to relax - the participants of the training quite quickly withdraw into its boundaries. The opinion of the coach and the team becomes extremely important, and the outside world fades.

It's a little like what you experience at a good performance: the action captivates you so much that you cry because of the death of a fictional character. Here too, failures in stupid tasks are experienced as a severe collapse, and the team’s successful completion of the next stage becomes a real joy.

I went through all this six years ago and still remember - both how bad I felt and how good I felt. I experienced very real emotions - only the space for them was built artificial.

Could this be dangerous?

Yes maybe. Especially considering the complete absence of any restraining mechanisms.

In fact, a person at the training is very painfully shaken by the soul and forced to cross the usual boundaries in the relatively safe space of the training in the hope that he will somehow escape from the unpleasant consequences for the psyche and life. They try not to allow people with mental illness or experience of drug use into the trainings - however, all exclusion was based on the verbal confession of the participants.

But in any case, training is hard and intense stress. And it may have consequences. Any part of the body can fail, starting with the nervous system. Headaches, heart problems, allergy attacks and gastrointestinal problems, nervous breakdowns - all this can arise simply from the stress caused by training. Simply because people are not made of iron.

Such a test of strength can have serious consequences for the human psyche. Their specific form depends on the personality of the training participant. Elena Kostyuchenko wrote about depression and hallucinations; for other people, these may be attacks of anger, hypersensitivity, constant agitation, attacks of phobias and failure of social adaptation mechanisms.

The person is actually told, very convincingly, accompanied by severe pain and intense pleasure, that until now he has lived incorrectly, that his usual life sucks and is a swamp, they are shown a beautiful fairy tale about a better life, the path to which lies through overcoming habitual behavior. But routine is not only the shackles that hinder our dreams. Routine creates our world, makes us stable, allows us to see the world as predictable and manageable, and ultimately safe. Without a routine, a person is unstable and, oddly enough, vulnerable.

At the first, and even at the second stage, they constantly suggest that the desire for security in humans is exaggerated, that over centuries of evolution the brain has learned to frighten its host more than is necessary in order to accurately protect against any harm. But living with constant overcoming of the desire for security is unnatural, it destroys a person, and it is not always possible to predict what problems will result.

The stability of the psyche is ensured by the balance of various forces and aspirations within the human personality (psychologists argue about which ones and what kind of balance). The desire for security and comfort is balanced by the desire for change and success. The desire for closeness with people is the need for loneliness. Training destroys this system, deliberately making a person unstable. In fact, a person during training is in an altered state of consciousness, and therefore is as pliable as wax. From a certain point, every word of the coaches is perceived as truth: the outside world disappears, and the coaches are the only remaining authorities.

On the other hand, training is addictive. Strong emotions, vivid experiences, the experience of victories and defeats, team support and the feeling of a friendly shoulder, the experience of completing tasks together - all this is experienced very vividly, and life after training, filled with routine and everyday life, may seem faded and dull. And simply in search of experiences to escape boredom, people go to more and more trainings, look for better trainers and are ready to pay more and more money. And if these emotions are not found, a person experiences a natural withdrawal - the emotions correspond to a change in the chemical processes in the body, without a new influx of proper experiences, the person falls into melancholy and irritability.

In addition, after training, people usually feel like they have reached some new level. Knowledge and vision have been revealed to them, they feel almost omnipotent, “authors of their own lives,” full of daring ideas and plans. It is after training that people take out loans for unsuccessful businesses, start relationships with sad prospects, get involved in adventures, and so on. Compared to the “team” and “coaches,” former loved ones seem boring and stupid, full of fears. And therefore, after the training, a person constantly quarrels with everyone, teaches everyone how to live, demands that everyone undergo the same training, and so on.

Could this be helpful

Oddly enough, it may well be. For people of a certain structure, personal growth training can be useful. For people with a stable psyche, not prone to addictions and psychoses, who only need a “magic kick” in life, training can play the role of such an impulse. If a person is too absorbed in routine, then such an experience can encourage him to make changes and generally rethink his life.

Even in the training “tin” there is some meaning - that which is stable, stable and inert, does not grow or change, and the task of training is change. After training, a person for some time acquires the ability to act ahead, he is not afraid of anything, his goals are clear, he is ready to act. It’s not always reasonable, sometimes it’s just stupid and reckless - but I’m completely ready.

The trainings would not be successful if they were not connected to reality. And much of what they say there is, by and large, true. People are indeed often fearful and, instead of going towards their goals, they come up with reasons not to change anything. And to achieve even a very serious dream, simple perseverance and discipline would often be enough, without any superpowers or great chances. It is also true that the world is infinitely diverse and there are even things in it that cannot be, and if you fight and don’t give up, you will definitely find a good place. The trainings are able to convey all this very clearly.

But the price of this knowledge can be prohibitively high.

In addition, it should be understood that the effect of the training is temporary. The mood acquired at the first or second stage, the feeling of omnipotence, the belief in inevitable success will pass over time, leaving behind some emptiness. And therefore, the business that was started after the training is often unsuccessful, because it is created hastily, and the moment problems begin, businessmen lose motivation. Sometimes this leads to tragic consequences when a business is done with borrowed money, and problems are also solved with the help of debts.

As a rule, “teams” made up of people who happened to be nearby also disintegrate quite quickly. Occasionally, of course, friendships and even marriages are born from them - but loneliness cannot be eliminated by training methods.

Yes, there is a third stage, the so-called leadership program, it lasts several months and probably brings deeper changes - but even these, as I have seen several times in other people, are reversible.

In general, the system of personal growth training is a kind of social drug. For money, a person is offered to undergo some kind of magical transformation, to find a new life. But instead of real changes (always requiring long and difficult work), a person is given a feeling of change - emotions, bright pictures, loyal comrades and overcoming difficulties. These sensations are obtained through rigorous training, deliberately putting a person through pain and fear. It can break a person, it can be useful to someone, but one thing you definitely shouldn’t do is don’t mistake the training, an artificial situation, for real life.

They won't teach you how to live. They won’t even show you “life as it is.” You will watch an exciting but difficult movie with yourself in the leading role. After which the light will come on, and you will have to return to real life.

And lastly

Oddly enough, the training methods had less effect on me than on others. Well, that is, I, too, got lost and blushed in the right places, cried in the right places, melted with gratitude in the right places, but deep immersion, loss of myself and sincere faith in what was happening did not happen. 20 years in the Church had an impact here (where are the current trainers compared to methods that have been tested for centuries on millions of adherents), and the fact that I was generally under severe stress at that time, and all the attempts of the trainers simply could not get to me seriously: what is dead , cannot die, but a madman will not go crazy, he has nothing. I had nothing then.

It was as if I had a toothache: even the strongest inspiration could not completely capture me.

But for some time I was somewhat carried away by all this and even joined the “support team”. These are the people who relax, feed and calm the coaches during breaks. In general, if I like somewhere, I always try to become useful.

And so we feed these trainers, some cutlets for lunch. And one girl says that she doesn’t eat meat and has no idea how it’s possible to slaughter an animal and all that, and what terrible stress she has from the fact that while fishing she saw a roach being taken off a hook. And everyone is like that - both boys and girls - yes, yes, yes, how terrible it is, we also don’t eat meat or are about to stop.

And so I looked at her, so tender, and at the others, and I saw them somehow in a new way.

That I, in fact, cut a lamb with these very hands, and nothing, no stress - but for some reason they tell me how to live correctly, although they are afraid to do what I did.

I saw that I was actually older and more experienced in life than these guys. That I’m just at work constantly interacting with realities that simply shake them - with illnesses and deaths. Sometimes the price of my decision is a person’s chance to survive. And I make these decisions. And they are afraid of this, not even to think or hear about it. But they teach me to make decisions. Why not the other way around?

I have children, but no one else has them, because for them it’s “too responsible.” But if I know more about responsibility than they do, then, excuse me, why is everything the way it is?

That is, people do not tell me what they know. And about what someone told them at the training.

And I got bored.

I don't think I went there anymore.

“We were allowed to do everything”

“You haven’t earned a penny? All in your hands! Take our training and tomorrow you will become a millionaire.”

“Discord in the family? After our course you will find love and peace again.”

“You can’t find friends? Not confident? We will solve these problems! In a week you will believe that miracles happen because your life will change, you will become a leader.”

It is human nature to believe in something. If not in God, then in a miracle.

How personal growth trainings lead a person to a dead end, how withdrawal occurs, why graduates of such courses end up in psychiatric clinics, what is the ultimate goal of the leaders of such events - in a frank interview with a woman who spent about five years in trainings.

“During lessons we put on diapers and sang the anthem together.”

Personal growth trainings. Advertising for such services looks tempting - for a minimal fee, people are guaranteed to gain self-confidence, freedom, learn how to make money, start their own business, be a desired partner in love and a lot of other delights of life.

38-year-old Ksenia Epikhina from Volgograd naively bought into the tempting promises. And I was stuck in training for 4.5 years.

During this time, she lost all her friends, almost destroyed her own family, and forgot about her son.

The tale of lost time ended in a protracted depression for her, from which she spent a year recovering.

Today, a woman and her husband are trying to pull out of the pool of delusions those who were sucked into the training swamp.

One of the exercises in personal growth training involved people trying on the image of a prostitute, homeless person, or alcoholic.

“We were told that we are gods”

I attended the training in 2010. It was a difficult period in my life - I got divorced, was left with two children, and besides, my teenage son fell into bad company,” Ksenia Epikhina began the story. “I was confused and didn’t understand where to look for help. And at this time, a friend was next to me with “practical” advice: “I am undergoing training, where great psychologists work who will help you - and your relationship with your son will level out, and you will find peace of mind.” Well, I bought it.

The training in question is divided into three main courses. Each one is paid separately.

The first course - design - lasted 4 days. The cost of the event was 6 thousand rubles, now the managers have raised the price to 8 thousand. I admit, after finishing this course I had no doubt that they would help me here. During the lecture, psychologists explained some correct life positions, gave certain knowledge, the classes were held in one continuous positive way. It was later that I realized that in this way people were simply lured into the net.

The woman continued her studies. For the second course - modeling - she paid 9 thousand (today the cost has risen to 11 thousand rubles). The duration of the course was 5 days.

And here programming began, breaking a person into certain things, not always positive. Strange priorities were implanted in us. For example, they convinced me that living “at the family level” was bad. This is the lowest level of existence.

- What was considered the highest level?

Mission level. Each person should come into the world with a certain high mission. If one of those present uttered a phrase like “my husband didn’t let me” or “I’ll ask my mother,” such people became the subject of ridicule. They were immediately addressed with: “Are you living at the family level? Ha ha ha! You’re a nonentity.” The teachers literally erased family from our lives. Naturally, numerous divorces arose from here. Although, when advertising the trainings, the managers assured: “Among our clients there are many getting married.” Do you know how this happened? First, they broke up existing couples, and then brought the students together. As a rule, if one of the family members took the course, and the second did not want to go, then he automatically became an enemy. But among themselves, the participants in the psychological process spoke about each other like this: “He (she) supports me, he (she) grows with me.”

- Is it really possible to completely reprogram a person in a week?

The second course lasted five days. During this time, our teachers managed to turn our consciousness upside down. Imagine, we were indoors from 10 am to 10 pm. The training organizers took several short coffee breaks. The rest of the time we were forced to do exercises and constantly think. There was no time left to stop and even think: “Am I doing the right thing? Why do I need it?". At night we did our daily homework.

- What exercises did you do?

Here is an example of one of the tasks. The whole group sat in a circle around one person, and everyone said what they thought about the center. For example, the following characteristics were thrown around: “modest, shy, quiet.” After this, the coaches told us to select the opposite meanings of the definitions that we had made earlier. It turned out - not modest, but liberated, not kind, but evil. The next question was: “Who has these qualities?” And the answer: “Prostitute, gay, gopnik, homeless, drunk.” The next day, the subject had to get used to the role of the character assigned to him for three hours.

- Did you also have your own role?

I got the role of a sadist. I had to change into the appropriate outfit, take a whip and express aggression towards people for three hours. We all became members of the lower strata of society for some time. Now I understand why these games were needed. Thus, we blurred the line between good and bad, what is not possible - what is possible. Everything became permitted to us. We were told that we were almost gods and that everything was allowed to us. It became very easy to manipulate such people who had no inhibitions. This is what our teachers strived for.

Ksenia's wife, Dmitry Epikhin, was expelled from the training for disobeying the leaders.

- Is it really possible that after three hours of “acting” all the edges of a person’s rationality were erased?

It seemed to us that our consciousness was expanding - and we were capable of any action. Let me note that we didn’t go out into the street in our new look and didn’t shock passers-by. All actions were carried out within the team. Actually, we were limited as best we could in communicating with people from the outside. We stewed exclusively in our own juice.

- And a lot of people gathered at one training?

The whole commune - about sixty people.

My interlocutor and I are counting other people's money - the revenue of training managers.

Now the second stage of training costs 11 thousand rubles for 5 days. No students were recruited less than 60. It turns out that our teachers received more than half a million rubles per week.

- Well, they fed and watered you there. They probably provided you with some brochures and books? Another expense item.

Out of the five days of training, we were fed only three times, and even then very modestly. The managers only spent money on pens and notebooks. If someone was indignant: “Why did we give the money?” - the critic was immediately attacked with accusations: “Don’t you support other people? You count money, you are so selfish! After all, we are engaged in charity, making the world, the Universe cleaner.”

Ksenia Epikhina: “They made me a zombie.”

- It seems to me that 60 people in a group is too much for psychological training?

60 people is the minimum number of people in a group. Sometimes up to a hundred people gathered in the hall. Of course, with such a crowd of people, the trainer-psychologist could not trace the dynamics of everyone present. But some exercises evoked mixed reactions and emotions in different people. Some laughed, others cried, fought in hysterics, and others felt ill.

- If a person became ill during the training, how did the training leaders act in this case?

They didn’t really react, they always had one excuse: “He’s a fool himself, he didn’t do what he was told.” As a rule, after suffering stress, people then turned to normal psychologists who pulled them out of this state.

- Did those who worked with you have a psychological education?

At the time when I was training, not all of our teachers had special education. Now that we have raised a wave of indignation, everyone quickly received the necessary crusts.

“We put on diapers and flippers, went outside and sang the Russian anthem”

According to the interlocutor, the first two training courses are nothing compared to how the training program developed in the future.

The third course is implementation. Leaders were trained here. The duration of training is three months.

The third training program included three-day weekend trips. On these trips, coaches built a program around blaming their students. For example, if a plane crashed somewhere, they told us: “It’s your fault for the tragedy. Planes fall because of your thoughts.” If a person drowned, again we were to blame: “You drowned a person with your thoughts.” If a terrorist attack occurs, it is again because of our thoughts. For three days we were made to feel guilty, which weighed heavily on us. One girl had a nervous breakdown because of this. She took full blame for the major plane crash.

- Did everyone who attended the training really believe that this or that tragedy was their fault?

I don't know how it happened, but at some point we all became very suggestible. And for a very long time we were not freed from the feeling of guilt for every tragedy that happened in the world. True, according to statistics, out of 100 percent of people, only 70 percent are amenable to such treatment. This was the case in our case. There were people who tried to argue with the teachers, for which they were expelled from the lessons, and the rest were forbidden to communicate with them under the pretext: “They are preventing you from developing.”

- What other features were there in this leadership program?

We were divided into groups of 5-6 people. Each group had its own captain - a man who went through all the training, but did not have a psychological education, taught us life. Every day at exactly 6 am we had to call the captain and report how our last day went.

- Did you have any responsibilities that you were accountable for?

The leadership program consisted of two aspects. The first included various charitable programs. We worked as volunteers - beautifying parks, planting trees, painting houses. But this was not our main occupation. The second aspect, the most important, was that we had to involve as many new people as possible in the training. If a person did not volunteer during the training, but involved at least one person, he became a leader. And this was the limit of our dreams. Every morning the captains asked us: “What have you done to involve the people? How many people did you manage to invite to us?” If on some day it was not possible to bring a newcomer, the pressure began: “You are not a leader! You are a freezing reptile, you don’t allow people to develop. You are a victim. You won’t succeed in life if you don’t involve yourself in training.” And this was repeated every morning. For most people, such pressure had a depressing effect. For example, I was very worried that I would not become a leader. I sincerely believed that I would benefit the world only if I brought a lot of people to these courses.

- Did you bring it?

Yes. I involved 50 people. Among them are my relatives and friends. Now I really repent because I involved the people closest to me there. They hung there. Now I can't get them out of there. And when I finally got free, they stopped communicating with me, I became their enemy.

- Are those who leave the training automatically considered enemies?

The red line runs through the idea, as in fascism: training leaders are a nation of Aryans. All the rest are an inferior race, nobody. Teachers constantly drew a line, dividing people into the strong and the fallen.

-Have you risen to the role of captain?

Yes, I was motivated to do this: “Come on, you will become even cooler, even higher. The more people you involve, the faster your son will return to the family.” While I was there, it really seemed to me like the salvation of the family. It's like I was programmed.

- And if it was not possible to involve anyone in the training, what then?

Such a person was declared a loser and was not given the honor of taking him to the most important, third weekend. Getting there seemed like the ultimate dream of everyone.

- What did they promise you this weekend?

The fact of the matter is that what happened at this event was kept in the strictest secrecy. We were told that miracles happen there and only there do people gain an understanding of why they live and learn their purpose. Before leaving for the most important event, we were asked to warn our relatives that we would not be in contact for three days. Excuses like “if my husband doesn’t let me go” were met with hostility: “It means you live at the family level if you can’t leave your husband.”

- And what was the mysterious weekend like?

We were taken out of town to a camp site. The phones were immediately taken away. For three days we danced there, sang, listened to lectures, and the energy was literally pumped out of us. They woke me up at the crack of dawn, forced me to play “jumping jacks” and do stretching. If someone failed to make the necessary steps, he was publicly ridiculed and called a weakling. At night for some reason they lifted me up and forced me to stay awake. At the end of the third day we were physically exhausted. In addition to captains, new positions were introduced that weekend - angels. It was these angels who brought a person to a state where he became completely suggestible. It’s a well-known trick that if people don’t sleep for a long time and are in an excited state all the time, they become zombies. In this state, you can inspire them with anything.

- And what did they instill in you?

On the third day, hard meditation began. We were told about our purpose, convinced that we came to this earth to captain, to angelize. They stated that our most important mission is to involve all our friends and family in the training. Of the 60 people who went this weekend, half later became captains and angels. Our happiness knew no bounds. We believed that if we earned the title of captain, then miracles would begin in life, we would be lucky in everything. Now I cannot explain how adults, 30–40–50 years old, believed our guru so blindly. I am still ashamed of some things. For example, on the third weekend we put on diapers and flippers, went out into the street dressed like that and sang the Russian anthem. For what? It felt like everyone was under hypnosis. At that time, I could fulfill any wish of the mentor. Moreover, no one understood what this exercise was developing, but everyone unanimously obeyed. Also in the morning, each of us received a specific task. For example, organize a playboy party. Moreover, such tasks fell to very modest, uptight people who were breaking themselves at that moment.

- Maybe they put something in your tea, since you did such strange things? Did you drink alcohol?

The fact of the matter is that there was nothing like that. There was a powerful effect on the subconscious. Alcohol and smoking were strictly prohibited. If someone admitted that they had drunk a glass of cognac on a holiday, it would immediately begin: “Because of you, everyone is drinking too much, look how many drunks are because of you.” And again they caused a feeling of guilt in a person.

“When I was expelled from the group, I thought about suicide”

- You went through three main stages of training, which lasted for 4 months. But what were you doing there for almost five years?

People whose critical thinking had not improved significantly were really limited by this time and left. My thinking turned off. I started going to various volunteer programs, it was called “serving people,” where we advertised our training all the time. If our boss said that a branch was opening in another city and the support of those who had completed all the trainings was needed, we would unanimously quit our jobs, leave our families and go for a couple of days to find our mentor.

- Were you paid for this? You and your coaches have become one team, right?

No, they didn't pay. Moreover, they could easily have been “fired”. This is what I was terribly afraid of. And everyone was afraid. At that time I became captain. And the captains were required to involve twice as many people in the training as a regular student. The captain also had to put pressure on new participants in the program to get people involved too. I was specially trained in how to put pressure on people, how to competently persuade a person to come to the training. If I failed to find new victims within a certain period of time, they threatened to expel me from the community and forbid others to communicate with me.

- Were people seriously afraid of being expelled?

Many people broke down psychologically when they were kicked out. I was also terribly worried that I would not live up to the title of leader, that they would think badly of me. Towards the end of my captain's career, I was unable to attract the required number of people to the training. I became depressed. Lost interest in life. The head coach constantly oppressed me: “You are a bad mother, you are bad, bad...”. I lived with a deep sense of guilt for six months. As a result, my psyche could not stand it. By that time, my leaders realized that I was already used material, they could not get more from me, and expelled me from their ranks. And then hell broke loose. For two months I plunged into severe depression and contemplated suicide. My husband, two friends and doctors pulled me out of this state.

- You lived in training for 4.5 years. Are there those who sit there even longer?

I know a guy who's been hanging out there for eight years. After all, in addition to personal growth training, there are a bunch of different courses. For example, after personal growth, everyone is asked: “You have grown as a person, now take the “money-to-money” course, you don’t know how to make money, do you? And then sign up for a “family workshop,” and so on down the list. As a result, people hang out there for many years and leave huge sums - up to 100 thousand a year. Many people lost their jobs and lost their businesses because of the training because they were constantly stuck at lectures. The teachers did not let me work, they did not let me go.

- Are the majority of those present at the trainings people with serious problems?

A few come out of curiosity, with nothing to do. Mostly wealthy people go there; not everyone is ready to shell out a tidy sum at a time. Most of these people had problems with finances, friendships, and love. At these trainings, they promise to sort things out on all fronts - to raise a business, create a family, and improve your studies. All in one fell swoop. Whatever you want will happen. Magic wand effect.

- Have you talked to those who, after completing the training, ended up in a psychiatric clinic?

I know one girl who was taken straight from a lecture to a psychiatric hospital. But the fact that she was overcome because of the training is unprovable.

- By the way, did you try to involve your husband in this sect?

Certainly. But he was quickly kicked out of there. The fact is that my husband is a believer. When I went to the training, he and I had not yet been scheduled, we were just meeting. At some point I told him: “I refuse to live not with the leader. Therefore, you must develop and go to training. They will teach you to love people and earn money. Otherwise we will part with you.” To save our relationship, he got involved in this adventure. But he doesn’t regret it, because he saw the whole process from the inside, and now we are fighting together against our former mentors. He didn't last long there. Constantly argued with coaches. As a result, he was expelled very rudely, everyone was told that he was an enemy, he was carrying heresy, you couldn’t talk to him, he was mentally abnormal. And everyone nodded their heads in unison. Even me. After that, I came home and said from the doorway: “We won’t live together.” But I knew this man for 20 years, we knew each other since childhood.

“It took me a year to move away from the stereotypes that were imposed on me during the courses.”

- When did you leave the training?

At the beginning of 2014. Then in March-April I fell into a prolonged depression. I only saw my sight in May. It felt like I woke up after a bad dream. A bunch of thoughts formed in my head - how did I live, why did I do it, how did I trust strangers? But for another year I moved away from the stereotypes that were imposed on me. For example, we were taught that every person creates in life what surrounds him, he himself is the source of all troubles. I still sit on a minibus, look at men and think: “Oh, I’m creating men around me, I’ll get married soon.” Or recently I dropped a pan of hot water, and the thought immediately flashed through my head: “I deceived someone.” Can you imagine how much all this nonsense got into my head?

-Has your relationship with your son improved?

While I was in training, I finally lost my son. Relations have deteriorated further. I had no time for him. While I was “saving the world”, running around, involving people in training, I abandoned my son. Since I was always busy looking for new adepts, I had no time to waste time on him. And now he found a job, got married, and my grandson was born. Only now my son and I have found a common language.

- Did these trainings help anyone?

If you don’t delve deeply and jump out of the program in time, then such courses will probably help someone. People with complexes open up there, I heard that someone solved their personal problems and found a common language with loved ones. But this is not my story. I fell apart. Only when I freed myself from the shackles of training did I find a common language with my parents and son. While I was living in training, we were constantly assured: “You are doing well.” And if something bad happened, they told us: “Erased, erased, erased, it’s not with us.” We were taught not to accept negativity, to renounce troubles. But as soon as a person was left out of the training, problems rolled in like a snowball. People who left the courses began to have the same problems they were trying to get away from again. Yes, while you are there, the whole group supports you, they talk about love, there are constant hugs and kisses, but in real life everything starts all over again.

- Do you keep in touch with your training buddies?

No. While I was in training, I broke off relations with all my old friends. I considered myself to be a pure race, but they were not up to me. That’s what I told them: “If you don’t go to the training, you and I are not on the same path.” And I made new friends on the courses. They seemed wonderful to me, we supported each other, celebrated holidays together. When I was declared persona non grata, they all turned their backs on me. Now they don't even say hello. I was no longer part of their caste.

- Who is the organizer of this project?

These are two sisters. One of them underwent a similar training 10 years ago, when it was just in its infancy. Then she dragged the second sister there. And they started doing business. At first, psychologists were invited to work, then they began to conduct courses themselves, without having at that time either education or a license. These women became rich in a few years. During the year they earned more than 8 million rubles. Their main office is located in Volgograd. Branches are scattered throughout the country - Astrakhan, Rostov, Saratov, Krasnodar, Voronezh.

- Are the teachers who work for them rich people too?

Only company executives earn money. The rest of the workers receive pennies. As a rule, they do not have a permanent job, some do not even have a family. For example, my husband was “broken” by a 23-year-old guy who did not have the slightest life experience behind him. Those who have never skated before learn to skate there.

- According to your data, there are many victims of such events in the country?

Many, some are simply afraid to talk about it. I was also silent for six months. It was scary. I started talking to get my relative out of there. She has been sitting there for 5 and a half years. Now he is a coach. The training took away a loved one from me. I feel very bad for this. She was completely absorbed in the training.

A new section has recently appeared on the training website - training for children and teenagers.

The slogan is still the same - “Miracles are where people believe in them.”

Today trainings are very popular. They are held live and via the Internet, in small groups and entire rooms. The topics of training are also very different, ranging from traditional business topics, including startups and various marketing promotions, to areas of personal growth focused on the development of a specific applied skill, for example, dating girls or the skill of avoiding the manipulations of others.

Asking questions about why and why people go to trainings, I compiled a list of such reasons. When planning your training, it is important to recognize that participants may follow a goal, and your event program would benefit from taking this into account.

Specific Recipes

What lies on the surface is that participants come for ready-made solutions, proven technologies and working algorithms. People are looking for a specific way to solve their problem in less time and with minimal effort. In a sense, participants pay for training because it will save themselves significant time and prevent them from making mistakes.

Learning as a value

Some participants enjoy learning so much that when one training session ends, they immediately sign up for another.

Sometimes such participants are called “training junkies” in the worst sense of the word: they undergo a lot of training, but do not apply any of the acquired knowledge and skills.

For some it may be important to feel chosen, different from everyone else: “while everyone is watching TV, I am developing and moving forward.”

For company

Another reason why people go to training is the company. These are the people with whom you will be able to communicate during training and coffee breaks.

On the one hand, it is important to maintain a sense of belonging to something useful and great. On the other hand, some of the participants in your events may actually be able to communicate with each other. A kind of synthesis of the context of success and truly applied knowledge.

Magic Kickoff

In addition to information, good training also provides motivation to use it and make changes in your life. Almost everyone needs external motivation, their own may not be enough, but in a team of like-minded people, when they work together on the same tasks, this can be realized much easier.

Usually this is most typical for so-called “long” trainings, where participants not only receive new information, but also gradually implement it into their practice.

New emotions

Recently, during a training session, I heard an interesting definition: participants go to trainings to feel alive.

And although this formulation is more suitable for psychological and personal training, one of the goals of good training is to expand the life experience of participants and help them find themselves in a new situation.

Feeling of freedom

Another reason is that training gives a feeling of opportunity. This is definitely more than what we have now. Therefore, many people come precisely for this feeling of opportunity and freedom.

last hope

There is a category of participants who come to the training to solve a problem. This is “from” motivation, and people can look for a way out of their difficult situation. This may concern business, relationship issues, personal problems.

Collecting diplomas

Another interesting motivation is collecting diplomas and certificates that certify that the participant has completed training. They may be less interested in the training or information itself, but they will appreciate the opportunity to boast “I attended some training with this trainer” and hang a new diploma on their “wall of achievements.”

Fashion

Today, learning is a trend and many people are doing it because learning is just fashionable. In this case, it is important that the topic of your training is presented from a relevant perspective, or there must be a clear rationale for your training.

In conclusion, I would like to note that when you plan your training, you should focus on the completely different needs of the audience and take into account all the motives for learning.