How to survive and succeed in a women's team. Women's team: a tangle of snakes or a beautiful flower garden

Contrary to the myth that the women's team is a society more like a jar of scorpions, where they can only talk about the crooked legs of a neighbor and clothes, women's teams are often excellent departments that perform challenging tasks and accepting fast and right decisions. And the typical "women's squabbles and intrigues" are born only if the girls are not passionate about their work, they do not have clear tasks and a good salary. In addition, if the enterprise is mired in gossip, then the management (especially if it is a woman) allows mouse fuss and is sure to enjoy it. Therefore, once in the girl's kingdom, the first thing to do is take a closer look at your new headmistress. find with her mutual language- you will be protected from undercover intrigues.

Terminator, lioness, hysterical

If your boss is a smart business woman who knows a lot about her business, is strict when required, and responds adequately to personal situations, you are incredibly lucky: the director is an excellent boss. She will never offend you just like that, spit on gossip and raise your career ladder if you deserve it. The situation is worse if a terminator in a skirt is standing over you, requiring others to turn into robots. Needless to say, such ladies consider feminism to be the main religion, and your family circumstances do not bother them: a sick child, menstruation and mom's birthday are no reason to leave work early. To please such a boss, give him what he wants to see: zeal, backed up by iron health and the absence of personal problems. Consult with her, but do not enter into disputes and do not try to question her authority. Acting In a similar way, you will receive the patronage of the boss, and any undercover fuss will be nothing to you.

A counterweight iron lady bored socialites are often found in leadership positions. Such a director is not at all interested in the affairs of the company (as a rule, inherited from her husband or father), but prefers to have good professionals to have someone to work for her. It is under such “managers” who have too much free time that intrigues flourish in companies and coalitions of the fairer sex are formed. Main principle communication with socialite- show initiative and not get it with questions and suggestions. The boss will appreciate your zeal and will be grateful that you do not distract her from her manicure and SPA. A good boss location - trump card in the fight against intriguers.

Most an unpleasant sight directors are an unbalanced person who tries to replace an unsuccessful personal life with work. Such business women can fire an employee for coming to a more elegant shoes, and write out the award, guided by the momentary mood. And what's even worse - the boss uses her power to assert herself. If you recognize your boss in the tantrum, you will need wisdom and endurance. Compliment the headmistress, pay attention to new clothes, but remember: you can put your ideas into practice under such a leader only by convincing her that it was she who came up with the brilliant idea.

Don't forget the secretary! Be careful if this sweet lady sympathetically asks you about your well-being and problems in the family - she may have run out of topics for discussion and she sees “fresh blood” in you. Also, be careful if the secretary is an evil aunt who perfectly copes with her duties: she is sure to collect dossiers on everyone. As for the frivolous student who cannot type and fax, do not rush to accuse her of incompetence, most likely she is someone's niece.

Scandals, intrigues, investigations…

However, even the smartest and most beautiful boss in the world is not a guarantee of normal relationships in the women's team. After all, every employee has either PMS, or a divorce, or a slob's son, or nothing to wear. And all this, if not vigorously discussed, then hangs in the air. And God forbid someone step on sore spot- Sicilian passions are provided for you. If you do not want to be a "whipping girl", do not succumb to provocations. Avoid a colleague in a bad mood, let him practice verbal attacks on someone who craves a duel. Moreover, do not look for logic in conflicts occurring at work. After all, when employees come to the office, they do not leave their emotions and feelings at home, including envy. Colorful stories about a million roses given by her husband can cause an inadequate reaction from a lonely, unlucky colleague in love. And the most unpleasant thing is that she can try to compensate for someone else's success on the personal front with a complete business failure of a successful young lady, of course, by contributing to this. Therefore, know the measure and never show off in the "women's kingdom." Be attentive and sympathetic to other people's troubles and avoid the phrases "What did you want?" and “I told you!”. A lady offended by fate or superiors can easily see in you the cause of her troubles only because such troubles have not happened to you.

Sad as it may seem, but the peculiarity of female competition in women's companies is that girls think more not about their own achievements, but about how to annoy a colleague. Hence the intrigue. Straightness - not at all female trait and when it comes to rivalry, fair sex there is no equal in hypocritical "sincere" smiles with a fig squeezed in your pocket. Outwardly, everything can be perfect and good-natured, but it is worth taking a closer look - and it becomes clear who is with whom and against whom. Try to always remain neutral, not allowing yourself to be dragged into any of the warring "groups", no matter how you are convinced. Moreover, if you are a new person in this company, you run the risk of being a pawn in someone else's game or even becoming guilty of everything. Treat the inevitable gossip in women's society in the same way. Of course, quivering conversation is an essential girlish trait. But it often causes conflicts not only with colleagues, but also with management.

Remember: not a single boss, even eager for other people's personal secrets, will ever entrust a serious, conducive career growth the case of a gossip and an intriguer. Rather than succumb to the general trend, it is better to create a positive atmosphere around you. After all, women, whatever they may be, will never offend good man It's in their nature.

One for all

Not even someone else's beauty or success on the personal front, but the appearance of a man in the women's team can be the most serious reason for discord. Writers and directors of Mexican TV series will "nervously smoke on the sidelines" as they watch this situation develop. No, of course, if a gentleman is gallant, attentive, but at the same time keeps an equal distance with everyone, his presence will only refresh the atmosphere and will benefit the ladies who have sat out in the company of their own kind. But, you see, the described character looks somewhat unrealistic. As a rule, a man who finds himself in a "raspberry" either tries to be invisible, hoping for the appearance of another male in the team, or quickly realizes his exclusivity and begins to behave like a Casanova. Flirting with the applicants in turn or with all at once, he becomes the cause of unheard-of passions. And if at the same time he is also officially free and not bad-looking, relations between employees begin to smell of vendetta. The only antidote for possible troubles for you, it can become a casual inattention to this character. At the same time, it is also desirable to convey to colleagues that their object of sighing is not interesting to you. If you are convincing, then you will be left alone as a "non-competitor", and you yourself, while others are passionate about this Santa Barbara, will have time to make a career.

If you nevertheless dared to have an affair, be ready to endure unfair reproaches from both your superiors and former fighting girlfriends. You will have to become impeccable in your work so that there is nothing to complain about. And most importantly - do not give in to the temptation to wipe everyone's nose and show "who is the princess here"! Move your relationship outside the office and don't think about discussing it with anyone.

Expert opinion

Anna TOPCHIEVA, psychologist:

If a lady appears in the women's team, showing with all her appearance that she came to work, and not chat about fashion trends, it always becomes an irritant and an object of aggression. Do not neglect cute office chatter - it is an integral part of work etiquette, but do everything sensibly. After all, even the highest-ranking negotiations always begin with a conversation about the weather or football - this defuses the atmosphere. Insert light, non-committal phrases into the discussion, share life little things with colleagues, for example, how your handsome neighbor helped start the car or how you got stuck in the elevator. A complete boycott of backroom conversations will lead to a typical female reaction: "She doesn't love us - it's worse for her."

Women's team

Minus

• In the women's team, no one will do something for you for beautiful eyes or long legs.
• Career competition among the weaker sex is determined not by business qualities, but by beauty and proximity to superiors (although if you are a luxurious brunette, then this is perhaps a plus).
• Women often get sick children, husbands get “unexpected” vacations, and younger employees are abandoned by boyfriends, and you often have to fill in for them. You can't refuse out of women's solidarity
• In the women's team, there will definitely be some wise Owl"Elena Sergeevna", who considers it her duty to give advice to everyone. And there's nothing you can do about it, because it's always been here.
• In the women's team it is unrealistic to find a companion. And even if he appears there, you will have to choose: either you leave, or both leave work. You will not be forgiven for your happiness.
• In a purely female team, it is impossible to be in a single voyage. You still have to adjust to the interests of your colleagues and pay attention to the tastes and habits of your “comrades-in-arms”.

A plus

• You can always count on being replaced if your child gets sick, and they will help you if you urgently need borrowed money to finally make repairs in the kitchen.
• You can always "shoot" a lot of useful things from colleagues: a tampon, a pill or whole tights.
• Colleagues will always share contacts with you good gynecologist, a recipe for roast beef and the phone number of the director of the best kindergarten in the city.
• Ladies do not abuse alcohol the way men do, which automatically saves you from morning hangover faces and the smell of fumes in the office.
• You will always find a yoga or fitness companion at the gym across from work.
• A woman does not need to explain why you feel bad today, your stomach hurts and what PMS is. And the great thing is that you can also laugh at it!
• Even if you come to work hungry and without money, tea will always be waiting for you there and, if not homemade pies (baked by the clingy Elena Sergeevna), then muesli or something else worthwhile.

Stars about the team

Evelina Bledans

- If I were offered a choice of work in a women's or men's team I would choose the second option. For some reason, since childhood, it’s easier for me with representatives of the opposite sex. Moreover, in male society fewer scandals. Women often prioritize professional quality, and external data. Hence the jealousy of more attractive colleagues and, as a result, the emergence of intrigues.

Anna Semenovich

- For some reason, many believe that the women's team is always a bunch of bitches. I cannot agree with this opinion. professional, smart, interesting people, regardless of whether they are men or women, they will always be able to find a common language. When I was a member of the Brilliant group, I felt comfortable: we didn’t have grievances like “you sang more, you were interviewed, but I didn’t ...”

Keti Topuria

- I am often asked about whether it is easy for me to work in a male team. I always answer unequivocally: yes, I like that I am surrounded only by representatives of the stronger sex. Everything is simple for me: I am the only such girl, no one will offend me. Of course, sometimes I miss another girl nearby, for example, when I need some women's help: borrow a mirror, lipstick ...

In an era of recognized value of the individual, personalization, social networks and the primacy of communications, you think that stereotypes are the lot of the older generation, who deftly knows how to “paste” labels on any phenomenon. It seems that there is less and less room for stereotypes in life. However, not everyone is able to go beyond and stop being guided by clichés.

For example, no one is going to give up the conventional wisdom about the curse of women's groups, which are called serpentaria. As before, if you say that the team at work is female, a “connoisseur’s smirk” appears on the face of the interlocutor: “Well, I know these women's teams!”

If you enter the query "women's team" in the search bar, you will get the following hints:

It turns out that the women's team is a place where there are many problems, and in which it is difficult to survive. The best aphorism the female team is considered a tangle of snakes. Envy, undercover games, secret alliances and the fight against outcasts. The second common metaphor is that of a chicken coop filled with cackling about family, children, diets, recipes, prices, and cottages…

I have worked in different labor collectives: female, mixed, male. 12 years ago I founded a PR agency. During this time, there were enough men and women in our team to understand how outdated the sarcastic label “female team” for today's team, consisting mainly of girls. Now we have 15 employees from 19 to 43 years old who are engaged in creative, project work reputation management of brands and companies.

In Gestalt therapy there is a concept of "polarities". Modern coaches are actively working with it, showing that our life is a balancing act between two extremes. If this approach is applied to the women's team, then everything falls into place, and there is no room left for looks down. Consider the main stereotypes about the women's team within this theory.

The "serpentine team" is an unhealthy environment where it is important to conform to the accepted pattern, otherwise you become an outcast. Permanent Comparison with each other, discussing new and heavy attitude to change - these are well-known myths about the "women's kingdom". The polarity of "template" is the desire to keep values ​​​​and thoroughly follow the rules. Ask who will be the best hotline customer support, in filling out forms and questionnaires, in accounting for resources, and many managers will agree that issuing is stable high quality in the "boring" area of ​​​​work, it is women who can. Clarity, commitment and exact following of instructions are qualities that help women cope with this kind of work. In my leadership practice, there were several men who did not complete their part of the work on time, because they "woke up and did not feel inspired." And there were many girls who, regardless of their mood, completed the tasks from and to. True, such “from and to” sometimes resembled an “Italian strike”, where the formalities were observed, but the goal was not fully achieved.

The second common stamp concerns just creativity women. It is still considered that big breakthroughs, labor feats and peaks of creativity are not given to a man in a skirt.“The husband is the head, and the woman is the neck. A man is a strategist, a woman is a tactician. This stereotype is often encountered when discussing strategies with clients. “Give us a male manager to make a breakthrough,” some clients say. Well, practice shows that men really want to go to the front line, with a saber in their hands... Most often, such “swings” lead to the fact that strategies on paper amaze with their courage and cosmic scope, but in practice there are nuances. Such “little things” as an unfinished program, untested capacities, unconfirmed incomes are growing like snowball, and the plan to capture market share turns into a fight for survival. The downside of "slowness and earthiness" is realism and skillful work with risks. Women are considered reinsurers. The 90s are over and a long-term and smooth strategy with an assessment of risks and preserving what is, is much more profitable than a strategy of conquering everyone around.

Gossip and endless discussions of others- perhaps the most famous stereotype about the women's team. In the era of social networks and the prosperity of instant messengers, many users are busy exposing their personal lives. reverse side medals of increased interest in someone else's life is a sense of order. For anyone who has read Agatha Christie and knows her character Jane Marple, gossip will not seem like idle reasoning. Intuition, knowledge of psychology and understanding true reasons one or another act of a person - important qualities which are very useful in business.

Over time, some stereotypes are replaced by others. They are trying to hang another label on the new generation of employees "y". We are already told that these are young people who are not motivated by money and do not hold on with all their might to their work, do not dream of saving up for a house / car / cottage. At the age of 30 they behave like students and believe that boundaries, traditions and instructions are conventions. Comments and entire articles are already appearing about incomprehensible “games” that need to be adapted and “introduced” into normal working life.

Since my company is 75% Y, I can safely say that it is the older generation that needs to start adjusting to millennials. In the youth team there are no arguments “well, he did it like a man” or “fu, snake sorority". Not gender perspective, there are no large gender differences in performance. There is a common desire to change the world for the better and the belief that it is available to everyone.

Lovely smiling colleagues who are always ready to help, suggest where to buy “the same” pair of shoes from latest collection or feed a piece of chocolate brownie during your lunch break, or a "snake's nest" that smiles sweetly in your face, and weaves intrigues behind your back and discusses your every move? It is up to you to decide who your colleagues will become. We offer several life hacks that will bring the first version of the scenario closer to reality.

Follow the dress code

Since the time of the fig leaf, nothing has changed - they are greeted by clothes. You will need to look not just clean and tidy, but ─ in a businesslike way. At the same time, an office bow should not contain a challenge ─ neither in the form of clothing, nor in its price category. You will flaunt shoes, the cost of which is the monthly salary of a good half of the team, do not be surprised at the problems in communications that have arisen. Excessive make-up and jewelry can also easily play against you: after all, they come to work in the office to work, and not to demonstrate the miracles of reincarnation, as on the podium.

Set your own rules

For everything to work out the best way, it is worth being as open as possible for communication and not responding to provocations that will inevitably lead to competition or other non-constructive methods of interaction. All this already well-established women's team can easily turn against a newcomer ─ in adaptation period it is unlikely to bring positive emotions and increase productivity. But remember that your future life in the team will obey the rules that will develop in the first months (and possibly weeks) of work in a new place, therefore, you cannot allow others to violate your boundaries by familiarity and shifting uninteresting tasks that are not within your competence duties.

If you just find it difficult to work and get along with women, it is better to immediately try to look for work in a mixed or male-dominated team. Why, on your own initiative, choose deliberately uncomfortable conditions?

Keep Calm and Carry On

Backbiting is one of the common features of women's groups. If they talk about you, then you are worth something in this life. It is worse when you do not cause any interest in others. It is optimal not to spend your energy on worries about this at all, but to direct it into a more productive working channel. With some acceptable level of empty chatter, you just need to put up with it or treat it ironically if you still have to face gossip “face to face”. Remember that we usually give a reason for gossip, and do not create such situations. Intrigue should be treated the same as manipulation: call a spade a spade and don't become a pawn in someone else's game.

If there are barriers...

First of all, it is worth understanding the reasons for what is happening ─ why the team does not accept you ─ after that it will become clear how to proceed. People are wary of everything new, including the appearance of new employees. If they evaluate your appearance in the team as unsafe, then it will not be easy to build relationships. There can be many reasons, starting from the fact that from the first days you too zealously begin to undermine the established system of relationships or work processes, in other words, come with your charter to a strange monastery, which, as you know, is not worth doing, and ending personal history life in this team of your predecessor (perhaps she was everyone's favorite and her departure was perceived as a deep loss). If you do not feel able to deal with this problem on your own, contact professional psychologist, which can help you look at this situation impartially, and see what you did not notice before. When you deal with your feelings, you will quickly find the right way out.

There is an opinion that the women's team is a kind of snake nest, a hotbed of intriguers, gossips and bitches, which is like death to get into. However, women's teams meet all the time. So are there really only cheap heroines around us? soap operas? Far from it. At right approach the female team can become a real support and consolation.

The experience of many women who first got into a purely female team suggests the opposite: think for yourself, are there so many people around us who weave intrigues and participate in conspiracies? An opinion built on the vicissitudes of the plot of films about the office cannot claim to be true. How often can one hear talk about what exists only male friendship, and female can not be in principle. But who is spreading this opinion?

If this were true, no woman would have girlfriends, but look at the flocks of girls spending time together in cafes, movies, clubs, and many carry friendship through life. The common myth that girlfriends steal men from their girlfriends is a big misconception. Yes, everything happens in life, but this statement cannot be taken as an axiom.

A woman, like the old woman Shapoklyak, surreptitiously tossing a rat to her enemy and giggling from around the corner, you see, is nonsense, and how many people are there who have real enemies? A person of any gender, intriguing, "pushing foreheads" of his colleagues, at least, causes bewilderment and only scares off those around him, creating an exclusion zone for himself. Such people, by and large, cause only pity, because to inappropriate behavior they are pushed either by personal dissatisfaction or by large complexes.

Being angry at the whole world, a person is first of all angry at himself: he does not love himself, does not know a good attitude towards himself, and therefore does not allow such an attitude towards others. What the female team can really "sin" with is long conversations, sometimes to the detriment of work, during which topics are discussed from planting plants in open ground to the effectiveness of the cabbage diet. However, in everything you should look for positive sides: where else can you get so much free advice and worldly wisdom?

Women are overly emotional, and this trait can be regarded both positively and negatively. If someone in the women's team is going through a difficult divorce, be sure that this person will not be supported anywhere like there. But if someone just Bad mood, this little harmless cloud can turn into a thunderstorm, and then no umbrella will help you - soak everything to the skin. This circumstance once again demonstrates the sincerity of feelings and the genuineness of emotions, which contradicts the stereotype of the secrecy and cunning of the female society.

Nowhere else will your new outfit, as in a women's team, besides, surrounded by women, you can safely change a torn pair of tights for a new one borrowed from one of your colleagues. Another small minus of the women's team, or rather, female character- tendency to dramatization and mysticism. The rumor about the coming flu epidemic will be instantly inflated to the limits of a universal catastrophe so that you will be afraid to return home by public transport.