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Polygamy and monogamy. A happy family is a monogamous relationship

The typology criterion is the number of marriage partners.

Monogamy- a marriage between one man and one woman.

Polygamy– a marriage involving several partners. It is divided into 2 options: polygyny (polygamy) and polyandry (polyandry).

Monogamy is prevalent in most known societies. It is considered the most progressive form of marriage, which has significant development potential. The development of marriage took place in the direction of limiting sexual freedom. Monogamy is economically determined. When establishing a man's property rights, a definition of descent and inheritance through the male line was introduced. In this case, only monogamy ensured the certainty of the birth of heirs.

The existence of polygamy is associated with the continuity of mating behavior between humans and great apes. It is believed that the tendency towards polygamy is more characteristic of men due to the characteristics of their innate sexual behavior. Society is more tolerant of polygamy among men.

Polygamy upsets the natural proportion of men and women. When a society is dominated by either gender, polygamous marriages become more likely.

There are hidden forms of polygamy: bigamy, the union of a married man with an unmarried woman and vice versa. Polygamy is associated with significant psychological problems: a sense of dual status, emotional stress, jealousy, rivalry. The consequences can be unpredictable. Polygyny is more common. The strength of polygamy depends on the man's resources, as well as on the woman's emotional stability and ability to compromise. Folk traditions also influence.

Currently, due to the increasing number of divorces and remarriages, they talk about serial monogamy or sequential polygamy, when at any given time a person is married to one partner, but throughout his life he has several marriages. The biography of modern man is serial monogamy.

Types of families according to the criterion of power

Traditional families, child-centered and democratic (egalitarian) are often distinguished.

Traditional families distinguished by respect for the authority of elders. Pedagogical influence is carried out from top to bottom. The main requirement is submission. Children from such families easily adapt to vertically organized social structures and easily assimilate traditional norms. But they do not take initiative, are inflexible in communication, and are guided by the idea of what should be done. The traditional family type includes traditional patriarchal, traditional matriarchal, neo-patriarchal, neo-matriarchal families. Their relationships are asymmetrical. Depending on the type of family, the father or mother is at the head, and the rest are subordinate to them. The younger ones unquestioningly obey the elders.

IN traditionally patriarchal In the family, the husband is the undisputed head and authority. His power is not limited, accepted unquestioningly or under pressure. The dependence of the wife on her husband and the children on their parents is clearly expressed. The authority of other family members depends on their gender and age. Elders are more authoritative than younger ones, men more than women. The interests of the family and clan prevail over the individual. They approach marriage pragmatically and perceive it as a God-given, long-lasting union. Such a marriage is distinguished by patrilocality and patrilineality. Patrilocality is that a woman lives in her husband's house. Sons, whether married or not, live in the parental home, daughters leave it when they get married. Patrilineality- calculation of kinship in the male line. Material assets are passed on to male heirs. At the same time, the father decides whether to reward his sons or not. Fathers are interested in having boys. And nowadays, young men are often more interested in having boys than girls; they consider them as continuators of their family name. This is the result of the pressure of centuries-old traditions.

IN traditionally matriarchal In the family, the headship belongs to the woman. Many peoples practiced maternal ancestry. The mother's credibility is established more objectively than the father's. Thanks to a woman’s ability to establish and regulate interpersonal relationships, she often wins the struggle for power in the family. Women play a big role in maintaining family ties. Often, with formal male leadership, real power in the family belongs to the woman. In particular, in the Russian family the feminine, maternal principle is very strongly expressed. In Soviet society this phenomenon intensified even more. V. Druzhinin said that the dominant role was imposed on women by the Soviet government and communist ideology, depriving the father of the main paternal functions. The man was deprived of the opportunity to provide for his family and raise children. His role in their socialization was minimized. The totalitarian state took over paternal functions. The mother, carrying many male functions, loses the psychological connection with the child. The problem of motherhood arises.

Modern families also face the problem of division of power. The head of the family combines a leader and a manager. To prevent destructive conflicts, it is necessary that such a separation suits both spouses and ensures the fulfillment of family functions. The traditional family model may be acceptable if it suits both spouses.

IN neopatriarchal family The strategic and business leader is the husband, and the tactical and emotional leader is the wife. The husband determines the long-term direction of the family's life, sets priority goals, chooses ways and means to achieve them, and organizes the family's activities. Performs a representative function. The position of the family depends on it. His extra-family activities are encouraged by family members. He has high aspirations and cares about the material well-being and social status of his loved ones. His worldview and way of life serves as a guide for family members. He sets the style of family life and ensures its implementation. Participates in the upbringing of children: promotes the formation of skills, one’s own opinion, correct orientation in the world around them, serves as an example of strong-willed qualities and organizational abilities. It is a source of family pride. His wife finds support in him.

We can also talk about a quasi-patriarchal structure, when the mother strengthens power through the reflected authority of the father.

Neomatriarchal family. An analogue of the neopatriarchal one, but the role of the leader is performed by the wife.

In neo-patriarchal and neo-matriarchal families, with the general primacy of the mother or father, priority in some areas of family life may belong to his spouse. A common feature of the considered family options is the joint leadership of husband and wife while dividing spheres of influence. Conflict may arise due to an unclear distribution of spheres of influence, claims of one of the spouses to a different role, poor performance or failure to fulfill duties.

IN child-centric In a family, the main task of parents is to ensure the well-being and happiness of the child. The family exists for the child. The influence is carried out from the bottom up. Symbiosis between parent and child is possible. Children in such families have high self-esteem and a sense of their own importance. This leads to the emergence of social conflicts outside the family and the emergence of social maladjustment. The world can be assessed as hostile. Perhaps the spread of child-centric families is associated with the nuclearization of the family, a decrease in the number of children in the family, an increase in the age of parents, an increase in the duration of the transitional years (adolescence and adolescence), and the replacement of practical ties in joint work with emotional ones.

Egalitarian the family is characterized by the equality of status of all its members. The goal of such a family is mutual trust, acceptance and autonomy of its members. Impacts are carried out horizontally, like a dialogue of equals. Mutual interests are taken into account. Children develop democratic values, ideas about rights and responsibilities, freedom and responsibility, activity, independence, goodwill, self-confidence, and emotional stability. Humanistic methods of education are used, based on trust in the child and respect for his rights, the need for autonomy, the development of individuality, and creativity. But at the same time, the skill of subordinating to social requirements may not be developed. In an environment built on a vertical principle, they adapt poorly. Children who come from such families may tend to create this pattern of relationships in their marriages. Husband and wife make approximately equal contributions to the material well-being of the family, make important decisions together, and raise children. Their role in creating the psychological climate is the same; the status of the family is established by the spouse whose status is higher. The social circle is formed by both spouses. Such a marriage is sometimes called biarchal or cooperatively symmetrical. The ideal model of an egalitarian family is presented in the concept of an open marriage: each spouse can remain himself, reveal his abilities, and preserve his individuality. Spouses are not “one body and soul.” Marriage is built on mutual attraction and trust; there is no manipulation or desire to subjugate the spouse. The existence of such a marriage is based on the principle of equality between men and women, as stated in the Constitution of the Russian Federation and the Family Code.

There are conflicting views on such a marriage. Some scientists talk about such a family as a conflict family: power functions are distributed, but their distribution is the basis for conflict. The appearance of such families in Russia is associated with the growing independence of the family from the totalitarian state, as well as the increasing economic, social and political role of both men and women.

A special type of modern family is bi-career family. It recognizes the professional interests of both spouses as equally significant. They combine the values of creating their own family and building a career. Such a family has a high level of integration and unity of value orientations. Household responsibilities are distributed evenly, the attitude towards each other’s professional interests is respectful, mutual tolerance and willingness to provide help and support are demonstrated. Time is used rationally, leisure is aimed at restoring resources. Children are involved in family affairs. They are taught responsibility and independence. They are well acquainted with the professional activities of parents.

The bi-career family arose due to a change in the social status of women.

Thus, there have been significant changes in the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage towards egalitarianism. But despite this, the “women's dilemma” continues to exist. This is a conflict of roles, a contradiction between a woman’s professional employment and her family responsibilities. True equality in the world of work has not been achieved. Women took worse-paid and less prestigious jobs. They are also involved in physically demanding work. There is a concept of a “glass ceiling” for women managers. Pregnant women and women with small children are not hired. Increased work activity does not free married women from household chores. Education remains the work of women. There is a prejudice that men are unsuitable for parenting. Men strive for unlimited self-realization in the sphere of professional work, involving not only personal but also family resources in this process. The triple burden (motherhood, housekeeping, work) hinders women's social and political activity. The concept of "women's dilemma" is complex. It includes not only the conflict of professional and family roles. This is a conflict of models of self-realization: autonomy or service to others, emotionality or rationalism, independence or attachment to loved ones. Many women who realize themselves in professional activities are characterized by the fear of losing love. The formation of a bi-career family largely depends on the solution to the “women's dilemma.” Its decision depends on the life positions of the spouses, their interpretation of marital roles. In developed countries, a bicareer family has significant development potential. This is due to a number of factors: the practical possibility of women’s participation in socio-political life, the activation of men in raising children, the rational division of household labor, the involvement of equipment and assistants, increasing the social significance of household work, and the modernization of traditional role structures.

For our country, it is considered preferable to have a family in which, along with equal rights, the father will take responsibility for maintaining the family and raising children, while retaining other family responsibilities for the mother and children. In Russia today, younger and better educated men are more egalitarian and take on more household responsibilities than was previously the case.

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A monogamous family is characterized by a close connection between a man and a woman, and this connection can be dissolved not by the will of either party, but only by the will of the husband.

One of the first to identify and describe the institution of the monogamous family, which is an established system of rules and norms of behavior implemented in countless families of a certain type.

It should be noted that the patriarchal family consisted of monogamous families of several generations and consisted of 25 - 50 or more people.

It arose during the transition to a class society in the process of the decomposition of the primitive communal system, the formation of a monogamous family and the emergence of private property.

Historically, the development of the family went from unregulated sexual relations to their limitation within the framework of a monogamous family.

The cult of ancestors gradually disappeared along with the clan system, and the place of the patrons of the clan was taken by the spirits of a monogamous family - brownies (in Western Procopius, III, 14); the common Slavic god was later called Perun among the Rus, Pyrin among the Bulgarians, and Perunovets among the Pomeranians. Perun (Radgost, Svyatovit), now endowed with the functions of the god of war, and Veles (among the Rus - Volos) - the god of livestock and wealth.

It is argued, for example, and in my opinion completely erroneously, that the social organization of hunting or fishing tribes must necessarily be reduced to a monogamous family, with father and mother at the head. Among pastoral peoples, according to the same theory, polygamy rather prevails; scattered over the vast space necessary for grazing their cattle, they are forced, willy-nilly, to settle in small groups. In these groups there is a strong predominance of men and the subordinate position of women as a being for whom a ransom is given in marriage. Hence the origin of paternal kinship and the restriction among hunters and fishermen of the rights of the mother and those who are close to her by blood, in particular her older brother.

The community itself turns from matriarchal to patriarchal with monogamous marital ties. The possessions and property of the communal economy are determined not by the boundaries of maternal clans, but by the territorial, or neighborhood, settlement of patriarchal monogamous families. Group, or harem, families could only be supported by a few clan nobility allocated in territorial communities.

There is only one possible answer - it must develop as society develops and change as society changes, just as it did in the past. Since the monogamous family has improved over the period since the beginning of civilization, and especially noticeably in the modern era, it can at least be assumed that it is capable of further improvement until equality of the sexes is achieved.

Patriarchy is a historical stage in the development of the primitive communal system at the stage of its decomposition, which arose after matriarchy and is characterized by the dominance of men in the household and in the entire structure of the tribal community. As cattle breeding and agriculture develop, men gradually take ownership of livestock and slaves received in exchange for livestock. Based on the further development of productive forces, private property and exchange, it breaks up into separate small monogamous families.

The transitional historical type is the syndiasmic family, which appeared at the turn of savagery and barbarism and in which one man lived with one woman, and polygamy (i.e. polygamy, or, in this case, polygamy) remained the exclusive right of men. Marriage ties were easily dissolved, and then the children remained with their mother. By regulating the sexual relations of a certain man and a certain woman, the syndiasmic family made known the actual biological father and created the conditions for the creation of a monogamous family, which arose during the disintegration of the clan system and the emergence of private property, surplus product and classes.

Let us return, however, to Morgan, from whom we have moved considerably away. A historical study of the social institutions that developed during the period of civilization is beyond the scope of his book. He therefore dwells only very briefly on the fate of monogamy during this period. He also sees in the further development of the monogamous family a certain progress, an approach to complete equality of the sexes, without, however, considering this goal has already been achieved.

In society, there is only one type of intersexual relations, accepted by society. Monogamy is an established practice in which a man can only have a relationship with one woman.

Existing types of families

The modern world has two - monogamous and polygamous. Monogamy is a relationship between two opposite-sex partners. Polygamous relationships are a formal relationship between a man and different women. Such a family organization, like polyandry (a woman having several husbands), is not perceived by a society whose culture does not include the type of these relationships. Such family contracts cause condemnation and disapproval in the modern world.

With the advent of children, a monogamous family turns into a nuclear one. Families in which adult children have married and live together with the parents of one of them are called extended families.

Currently, the number of complex (extended) families in Russia has noticeably decreased. The reasons given for this were: young families living separately from the older generation; low birth rate as a consequence of the reluctance of a married couple to have more than one child; death of one of the spouses (over 13%), numerous divorces. Extended families, consisting of two or more married couples, number only about 4%.

Monogamy in humans

From childhood, people are instilled with the belief in a perfect relationship between a man and a woman. The content of many films and books contains the theme of “eternal love”. This type is considered monogamy. This is the perfect form. With age, faith in real feelings becomes even stronger, and sometimes misunderstanding between husband and wife leads to scandals in the family, which provokes one of the partners to cheat.

Most people are very susceptible to the opinions of others and often act not as their “heart dictates,” but as their “well-wishers” advise. As a result, most often thoughts of betrayal appear not because of, but against the background of social dependence. It follows from this that all sorts of psychological difficulties and fear of betrayal only accelerate its approach. Monogamy is an absolutely trusting relationship between spouses, where there is a connection between only two people - a man and a woman, and there is no room for a third.

Disappointment in your partner is not a rare phenomenon. But think about the fact that every person has shortcomings, including you. The biggest difficulty in family relationships is the ability to understand and forgive the person close to you. Once you learn to manage your emotions, results in relationships will not be long in coming.

Love does not depend on Monogamy includes not only living together but also complete mutual understanding and trust in each other. Don't let anxious thoughts ruin your marriage. Monogamy is, first of all, the joy of spending time together, of communicating with each other. Drive away all your complexes, forget the offensive moments that were present in your life together, liberate yourself intimately, be sexy, suppress jealousy.

The word "monogamy" consists of two parts. The word "mono" comes from Greek and means "one". But the word “gamia” can be translated from the same Greek as marriage. That is, monogamy is monogamy, a form of marriage and family in which two representatives of the opposite sex enter into a marriage union.

In contrast to monogamy, we can put polygamy, that is, when a representative of one sex is married to several representatives of the other sex. The classic example of polygamy is the harem.

Well, since we touched on polygamy, it is worth giving a definition to such a term as autogamy, which can be represented as self-fertilization, which is simply impossible in humans.

The word monogamy itself can be associated with words such as monoandry or “monogamy” and monogyny or “monogy”.

But monogamy is characteristic not only of humans, but also of animals. The truth here is that the concept of monogamy is relative, which is why monogamy in animals is a relationship between the two sexes when a male mates with only one female for a relatively long time and even takes part in raising the offspring. In animals, monogamy is often observed in birds. At the same time, swans, storks, eagles and vultures can pair up for several years, and some birds form a real family for life.

Some birds form a “family” for only one season, which separates after hatching and feeding the chicks. Such pairs include geese.

But ducks are birds that leave even before the nest is built and before the offspring appear.

Monogamous animals also include arctic foxes, foxes, stoats, beavers and some other animals.

We can talk about monogamy in humans for a long time. And you can argue here for a long time too. However, it is the monogamous family that is the family that is considered classic in all states. And such families have existed at all times. And even when people on earth lived in a primitive system, there were already monogamous families.

True, there men and women lived with each other on the principle that a man brings food to a woman, and in return she gives him sex. But caring for offspring in primitive society lay entirely on the shoulders of the woman. The man did not want to know anything about his children. And that was the norm.

Such men can still be found today...

There is no room for a third person in monogamy. This is a union of only two loving people who are ready to raise their children together. It is in a monogamous family that there are all the prerequisites for raising children in normal conditions. In addition, a monogamous family will never be condemned by society.

Some people believe that monogamy is a relic of the past. That today living in a family where there is only a husband and wife, and no lover or mistress, or a couple of other wives or a couple of husbands, is complete stupidity. But is this really so? And is it worth deceiving nature? Is it worth going against what has been tried and tested for centuries? I think this is just great stupidity. After all, in the end, and sometimes only in old age, a person still wants to stay with only one, or with one, the best, most beloved and kindest person. Your soulmate.

27.06.2016 17:22

Some situations that occur in modern family and personal relationships, and cause controversy and indignation among some of us, will become clearer and more understandable if we carefully consider and learn the process of family formation from a historical perspective. I was prompted to study family history by an incident with one of my patients, who, without hesitation, took a second wife and settled her with the first, citing the fact that his action corresponded to the provisions in the book of F. Engels and the “Manifesto of the Communist Party.”

History is very important for us, without it it is difficult to understand the processes that are taking place in the present. Monogamous marriage has been considered the norm for humanity for many centuries, but in ancient times everything was different.

Human development has several stages.

The first stage is wildness, which in turn is divided into several stages. At the lowest level, which lasted several thousand years, people did not yet cook food and lived naturally, in nature, collecting edible plants and nuts. Perhaps speech begins to form at this time. During the middle stage, people discover fire, create the first tools, and begin to eat fish. They begin to live not just where they have to, but choose places near the river. At the highest level, the tools become more complex, the first bow and arrows are created, with the help of which it becomes possible to hunt game.

The second stage is barbarism. It is also divided into stages. At the lowest level, people domesticate animals, grow plants, and also begin to make pottery. The middle stage is different in that people begin to build houses using stone and brick. They grow plants for food and create an irrigation system to care for them. Herds are formed from domestic animals, people eat better thanks to dairy food. And already at the highest level, humanity enters the path of civilization, which begins with the use of copper ore for the production of tools and the creation of writing.

The third stage is civilization, during which all already acquired skills are developed, production expands, and art spreads.

But what about family? It is a known fact that a herd is formed only where there is polygamy. Where there is a strong family, the emergence of a herd is extremely rare. The family is limited by the jealousy of the male, and it also separates the family from the herd. There is no jealousy in the herd; all males there are tolerant of each other, so the existence of a large group is possible. It was in such herds that the transition from animals to humanoids, and then to humans, took place. Therefore, thanks to polygamy, we became human and still exist today. We can say that polygamy is part of our nature and it is naturally present in us, so there is no point in fighting it. It is much more useful to try to fit it into the existing framework of polygamy accepted in society.

Before creating a monogamous marriage, humanity went through a whole path of development and formation of the following types of families.

Group marriage

At first there was group marriage, which involved many men and women belonging to each other. This form of relationship practically eliminated jealousy, and it was precisely this that contributed to the formation of human society. This period of polygamy existed for quite a long time. According to F. Engels, jealousy appeared much later and was more social than biological.

Biological jealousy is more characteristic of men, because offspring carry genes, which means they continue you and your family, so it is very important to be confident in a woman’s fidelity. But in ancient times there was no understanding of the purity of offspring, they knew nothing about incest. No one was embarrassed by sexual relations between relatives, brothers and sisters, or even between parents and children.

From such unions sickly children were born who did not live long. And only later, with the discovery of incest and the ban on consanguinity, did they stop wasting time and money on nursing non-viable children. But even with such free morals, sometimes couples were formed who, unconsciously for some time, were monogamous, lived together, and worked.

consanguineous family

The first stage of the family was the consanguineous family, in which there were no relations between children and parents, but sexual relations between brothers and sisters were taken for granted. This type of family has long disappeared, but some elements of it can be found among the native tribes of the Hawaiian Islands. Analogues of such relationships are found in modern society. A striking example is family ritual celebrations and meetings. But usually, sex here does not reach the final stage due to moral principles or other circumstances.

All this is evidence that people have not been able to realize themselves professionally, and they spend their energy on relationships with relatives. If spouses are truly passionate about each other, then they have virtually no need to attend such events.

Pununal family

The next type of family is punalual, in which marriage between brothers and sisters is prohibited. Such groups became more developed and stronger than tribes with incest. In punaluan families, a woman can be the common wife of several men, but among whom are not her own brothers. Conversely, a man can be the common husband of a number of women, and his sisters are not among them.

Nowadays, this form can also manifest itself in so-called “Swedish” families, so again, don’t judge anyone, we all have the same story. In group families, it is not always known who the father of the child is, since there are several husbands, but the mother is always known - therefore, the clan in those days began to be traced through the maternal line - this is how the institution of the clan arose. All sisters with brothers and children having the same founding mother constituted the first clan.

Couple family

Within group families, couples could form who lived together for a long time, got used to each other and became isolated. This is how paired families were formed. Those families in which there was no incest gave rise to healthier offspring and, accordingly, in the future such families and tribes became stronger than consanguineous groups. But at some point the number of women decreased and they had to pay some kind of ransom in order to live with only one man.

The paired family appeared in the transitional period from savagery to barbarism; it does not yet have its own household and property. Another important point is that now there was one father in the family, all the children were from one man, who provided the living and got food. In the event of family discord and divorce, boys remained with their father and in the clan, and girls, along with their mother, were excluded from it. This is how a patriarchal family emerged, in which a woman’s rights began to be infringed; she and her children became the property of her husband.

Monogamous family

The emergence of a monogamous family from a steam room is the beginning of an era of civilization. The head of a monogamous family is a man who is the father of the children, and his wife has no right to cheat on him. At the same time, the husband can cheat, have slaves, but the wife is humiliated and takes care of the housework, not participating in public affairs. At this time, prostitution became widespread. Monogamous families basically had an economic aspect - common property, which was more important than love, one might say - these were marriages of convenience. Gender inequality appears, men suppress women.

Freedom in sexual relations did not disappear with the introduction of monogamous marriage - prostitution developed. Women, in turn, took lovers, and establishing the paternity of children born in marriage was based only on moral aspects.

Despite the form of marriage, people do not change; in marriage they remain the same as they were before, therefore, over time, any marriage becomes like a calm cohabitation, called quiet family happiness. When a marriage is concluded by convenience, it somehow takes the form prostitution, much more often on the female side, the only difference is that a woman sells her body once and for all, thereby falling into slavery. In modern times, very often in “decent” families, daughters are encouraged to look for a rich groom who will provide for her.

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