How to understand whether a husband will leave for his mistress. Why do wealthy men have young mistresses? Do married men leave the family for their mistress: in what cases, how often

Answers to questions about the love triangle for men and women.

The feeling of falling in love and the instinct to preserve the family push men and women to create family unions. Sometimes people feel their loneliness so keenly that they are ready to sacrifice a lot to find their soul mate. But after finding their beloved women and marrying them, men change their attitude towards them. After the seal of marriage appears in the passport, women turn from an object of worship into housekeepers, dishwashers, cooks and educators of children. Often in the list of these cases there is absolutely no communication and contact with the husband. Therefore, having found the ideal wife, men begin to look for the ideal lover.

What does the ideal wife look like in the eyes of a man?

• She is great at cooking
• She endlessly cleans up the family nest
• She is dedicated to taking care of children.
• She gets along with her mother-in-law and other in-laws of her husband

What does the ideal lover look like in the eyes of a man?

• She is beautiful and knows how to take care of herself.
• She never has a headache and is always ready for active sex
• She does not walk around the house in a soiled bathrobe and house slippers.
• She does not load the problems of the family budget and poor grades of children at school.

Can a woman combine an ideal wife and an ideal lover? Practice shows that this task turns out to be impossible for women, because it is difficult for women to turn into a goddess of sex by playing the role of a voluntary slave of a plate and a doormat.

The number of divorces due to infidelity can be reduced by doing housework together

But, if she can shift at least some of the “light housework” onto her husband’s shoulders, she will have the time and desire to do new hairstyles, face and body skin care and new outfits. Since it turns out to be easier and much more interesting for a man to find a woman on the side, and not to unload his wife from domestic work, this task remains impossible for a woman.

Why does a married man need a mistress, what does a mistress mean to him, what does he expect from her?

The main reason why men start an affair on the side is the dissatisfaction of their sexual life with their wife. It can be difficult for husbands to understand what to expect from a woman who spins like a squirrel in the wheel of initiative and the realization of a man’s desires. If a woman works not only at home, but also goes to work, then returning home after a hard day, picking up her children from kindergarten or school, washing the dishes, and feeding her family dinner, she dreams not about sex, but to sleep.

A man, even if he went to work, but freed from domestic work, is full of energy and sexual desires. Perhaps many women will be surprised, but the vast majority of men, especially those under 30, want sex every day or every other day. If such a schedule does not coincide with the schedule of the wife's desires, he will seek satisfaction on the side.

As a result, by unloading a man from domestic work and loading themselves, women themselves create the prerequisites for her husband's infidelity.

Also, the reason that makes a man look for a mistress may not be the quantity, but the quality of sex. Many couples are shy or afraid to discuss these topics with each other. And it is difficult for them not only to express wishes about what they would like to receive from sex, but also difficult to talk about what they do not like in sexual intimacy.

What does a married man expect from his mistress?

Deciding on treason, a man expects sexual satisfaction from his mistress. But communication on the side involves not only having sex, but also communication. If scandals and showdowns occur in the family, and the lover knows how to listen and understand a man, then an affair on the side can lead to a divorce from his wife. Many single women, entering into a love affair with a married man, seek to divorce such a man from his wife. And to achieve this goal, they skillfully use the contrast that a man sees between his mistress and his wife.

The psychology of the relationship between a married man and his mistress

As a rule, a married man, meeting with his mistress, does not seek divorce and marry another woman. He is quite satisfied with the love triangle, where in the family circle he receives care from his wife, contact with his children, and from his mistress, complete satisfaction of sexual needs. Such a double life can cause him petty remorse and guilt towards his wife. Unfortunately, these negative emotions do not affect his intentions to leave this situation unchanged.

A woman who acts as a lover cannot but feel the inferiority of her position and will strive in every possible way to change it. If the mistress insists on a divorce, and the man opposes this, the idyll between her and a married man can be broken. This can lead to a break between them.

Can a married man love both his wife and his mistress: signs

The word "love" has different meanings for men and women. So for a woman, love can be synonymous with fidelity, devotion, a sense of inspiration and the desire to take care of a man. And for a man, “love” can mean a willingness to have sex with a woman. Can a man be willing to have sex with more than one woman? Definitely can and even aspires to it. This does not mean that in adultery with or without reason, you need to suspect every man. The presumption of innocence or lack of proof of a crime applies not only to hardened criminals, but also to husbands.

Can a married man be jealous of his mistress?

Jealousy or a sense of ownership is inherent in the relationship of a married man and his mistress. Despite the fact that in the life of a mistress he is only "coming for an hour", she can be jealous of his wife. In addition, she cannot but understand that she is not the only one to whom such a man could turn his attention. A man is able to be jealous of his mistress to other men and feel like the Sultan of a harem, where every concubine is his property.

Why do married men have young mistresses?

Often, older men have young mistresses in order to increase their self-esteem and increase potency, if there is a tendency for it to fade. This is because it is young women who have the strongest sexual attraction. They attract the attention of men, like females capable of procreation. Here play the role of pheromones, which smells like a young woman in the period of fertilization.

Can a mistress be older than a man?

Yes, young, sexually inexperienced men tend to have experienced mistresses older than them. If an elderly woman, in addition to successful sex, offers a young man delicious dinners, the ability to listen without getting irritated and give wise advice, such an alliance can be very successful.

How many mistresses can a married man have?

If a man is in excellent sexual shape and wants sex every day, then the number of his mistresses can equal the number of his sex sessions. This is a slight exaggeration of the truth, which is that for a man who has allowed himself one mistress, it is not difficult to have so many of them that his body can withstand.

Does a man leave the family for his mistress: how often, in what cases?

In the vast majority of cases, a man does not leave the family for his mistress. Because he perfectly understands that he is already in a great position. Often the initiator of the gap is the wife, who found out about her husband's infidelity. In this case, a man can go to his mistress involuntarily. He can also leave the family if his marriage is bursting at the seams due to mutual misunderstanding between him and his wife.

If a mistress offers him attentive care and understanding instead of scandals in his family, he can buy into such tricks and leave his wife. In the event that a man marries his new passion and she receives the status of “wife” instead of the status of “mistress”, he risks repeating the failures of his first marriage, but in a tougher version, and his new wife risks getting the role of a wife waiting for her husband after the trip to a new more interesting woman.

Which mistresses do men go to?

In order to win in a love triangle, the mistress must be many times better than the wife. Often a woman tries so hard to get closer to the ideal of a man and win that she really becomes a beauty, a smart girl and a goddess of sex. The only thing a man should remember when leaving for such a woman is that she is working on such an image to the limit of her abilities and will stop straining immediately after she becomes a wife.

When do married men leave their mistresses?

Mistresses are not abandoned if they perform the functions assigned to them. But in the event that a woman who is in the role of a lover begins to sort out the functions of a wife, that is, she scandalizes, sorts out relationships, refuses to have sex, then she receives the status of a former lover, and the man finds a more interesting option for himself.

Does a man go through a breakup, do men forget their former lovers?

If the separation between two people happened by mutual agreement, then it can be painless for both the man and the woman. If such people remember the time spent together, then with a slight sadness and gratitude. If the gap was painful and at the initiative of one of the parties, then the man or woman who has lost intimacy will suffer and be tormented by experiences. If the woman who left was bright, non-standard and a Personality with a capital letter, then it will be impossible for a man to forget such a woman.

How to part with a mistress to a married man?

If a man wants to leave a woman beautifully, and without causing her too much moral harm, he must think about how the vacuum or emptiness that will form after his departure will be filled. The most banal, primitive, but working way to “leave unnoticed” is to introduce such a woman to a man who may be interested in a sexually horny lady. If the vacuum is not filled, then the one who left his mistress to the mercy of fate is guaranteed to receive phone calls from a former mistress with requests to meet or “random meetings” on the street.

The best way to get away from a mistress is to captivate her with a new man

Love triangles or polygons have existed in the distant past, are in the present and will be in the future as long as humanity exists. And one can only analyze and state such facts without trying to give wonderful recipes for solving this problem.

I didn’t think about life situations that I myself would have to turn to a psychologist for help. But such is apparently fate or a matter of chance. Lived in a single marriage with his wife for 25 years, there is an adult daughter. I did not experience much happiness or satisfaction in my family life together. The candy-bouquet period has passed, and in the bustle of everyday life, the spark of passion has somehow died out. For some reason, I never believed in love at first sight, I thought that this simply does not happen. But as it turned out that love exists, and in my heart in my soul it appeared. It has been almost a year since I accidentally met another woman at the wedding of mutual friends. Passion and love flared up in both of them like gunpowder. My legal wife is still two years older than me (for me it never appeared to be some kind of fit or limitation) and a woman who is now the same age in the heart. A wonderful person, as they say, smart and beautiful, financially secure with a separate living area (a house with partial amenities) has an adult son from his first marriage (18 years old in a divorce) for four years in a civil marriage with a man 10 years younger than her. I really want to live with her, she also wants this, but I have some mental anguish - will it work out? Still, the age of the habit, etc. Sexual life we ​​have at the highest level. But you can't hurt your heart. So it turns out that I LOVE one to the point of madness and I regret the second or a habit over the years spent together. Moreover, my wife also turned my daughter against me (yes, I consider myself a little giver) And for this I decided to write to you, advise how to solve this puzzle !

Hello

Sorry for not responding for a long time, a lot of letters now.

You know, I probably won't be able to tell you something definite and concrete. What would help you make the choice that is before you.

Choice between wife and another woman, mistress.

If we talk about the real side of things - no matter what choice you make, everywhere there are minuses and pluses.

If you stay in the family, you will lose those feelings and relationships that you have now with the woman you love. In addition, most likely you will experience a sense of missed opportunities and unconsciously get angry at your wife for this. But on the other hand, you will save your marriage and stay in a stable relationship in which you are confident and know what to expect from them. There may not be any special feelings - but it is calmer.

If you leave your wife for a mistress, you will get a “new breath” of life, a feeling of something new, an upsurge. But at the same time, you will feel guilty. And you can sooner or later start to get angry for this at your new woman.

This is such a difficult choice.

I think you need to think over for yourself in great detail all the pros and cons of the possible options. And still choose something. At the same time, realizing that there is no right or wrong choice here. There is no better choice. Either way, you will lose something and gain something.

When the question is whether to leave his wife for a mistress or not

There is a third choice here: this is an internal psychological work with the reasons that led to the appearance of a second woman in your life. What kind of projections do you see in this woman, which gives rise to your strong attraction to her. Sometimes such work allows you to weaken emotions very much - and then, as a rule, the choice is more obvious.

In addition, thanks to understanding and “returning” to oneself one’s projections that were previously “assigned” to another person, significant personal growth occurs. A lot of energy and a sense of life appear inside - but NOT thanks to another person.

But this whole process takes quite a long time.

The triangle of relationships will not lose its relevance: husband, wife, mistress. A favorite plot of romantic works, films and all sorts of manuals. The issue is regularly addressed by ladies on opposite sides of the barricades.

What is more important to HIM: feelings or habit?

It is difficult to overestimate the determination of women in the struggle for a man. Mistresses seek to take away, wives to keep. Luck is more often on the side of the latter - men return. Men rarely listen to feelings. For the sake of mistresses, they are not in a hurry to put at stake their usual life, “long bored”. What is the reason for strong attachment to the hearth?

From childhood, mothers instill in the girls an unchanging truth: falling in love with a married man, you won’t get rid of grief, and you won’t take him away from the family. Relationships like this cause public condemnation. But you can’t argue with the well-known axiom “you can’t command your heart”. Until the last, the girls do not lose hope for the departure of a married man from the family.

Below we want to give 3 true stories about the departure of husbands from their wives and the subsequent return.

Disappointment in life

Tatyana told her friend that she fell head over heels in love with a wonderful man. But there was a problem: he is married and has a 17-year-old daughter. According to her, “the problem is solvable,” I’m sure she will be able to take the married man away. Tatyana did not pay attention to the skeptical attitude of her friend, repeating the mistake of a thousand women.

Friends of Dmitry (the name of the beloved) claimed: Tanya's rival did not have the best character, happiness in the family was gone. And the daughter is grown. Tatyana believed that after a 20-year marriage, love ended. And my wife is much older.

Tatyana was lucky: Dmitry left the family, but the joy did not last long.

6 months after the wedding, she began to worry and suspect the presence of a mistress. Dmitry came home late, relations have not changed for the better. I got used to the idea that a man who has once changed will continue to change.

But the ex-wife turned out to be a rival. Dmitry explained that his wife and daughter needed help with household chores, not strangers. Tatyana calmed down - the reason is "excusable". Over time, the relationship changed for the worse.

And one day Dmitry admitted that he could not stand it without his home and relatives. Tatyana got angry and screamingly offered to return to the former, in the depths of her soul repeating "it's not going anywhere." What happened surprised and upset: the beloved packed up and left.

Subsequently, he made excuses - Tatyana is better ... but his wife - dear, like a sister and mother, cannot be deleted from life. Most importantly, I got used to homemade food and evening tea with lemon.

Mistresses are sure that the main task is to take a man away from the old family and create a new one. But not so easy. Practice shows: it is harder to keep someone else's husband nearby. According to statistics, 70 men out of 100 who left the family return. Household changes are scary. At first they are held by passion. Passion decreases, and an indefatigable longing for the former home wakes up.

No matter how much effort the mistress puts in, she will remain second and will not create similar living conditions: a different person, with different foundations and habits. Let the new wife be better than the former, but it will not work to provide a similar comfort. Household habits are the main reason why men return to the family.

Pregnancy manipulation

At the age of 28, Aleksey met a young beautiful girl of 19 years old named Svetlana. He was in a civil marriage with a woman of the same age. But, according to him, there was no extraterrestrial love. And I couldn't have a baby.

A week later, Svetlana and Alexei began a wild romance. The salary is small, but he gave his new lover expensive gifts and chic flowers. In the end, he promised to soon confess to his common-law wife.

After a year, the recognition did not take place. Alexey found a bunch of excuses. This forced Svetlana to take extreme measures. Stopped taking birth control pills. And, of course, after a while she told her beloved about the pregnancy.

Confidence in Alexei's joyful reaction did not leave for a second - he dreamed of a child. But it turned out the other way around. He promised - he would help, but he would not leave his common-law wife, he would not make her unhappy.

Only 5% of men are able to leave the family. The strong sex of the concept of "love" and "marriage" shares. Women don't share. A loving woman becomes everything - a wife, a lover, and a best friend. For men, "Love" is intimacy and entertainment, not a life together. Marriage is a life, familiar and ordinary. They do not consider it necessary to get divorced for the sake of a new love and break the established way of life.

Male habit is much stronger than love. They always say to their mistresses - “they will leave forever”, but more often they lie. And Svetlana was wrong in the way. Practice shows that men do not leave their families for the sake of children on the side, but they are able to perform exemplary fatherly duties.

possessive instinct

Victor married early, at the age of 20, and not out of great love. The beloved married another, and the girl who “consoled” unexpectedly became pregnant. Young people signed, twins were born. At a meeting of classmates, I met my previous love, Irina. By that time, she had been divorced twice.

Of course, the old feelings flared up. We started dating. Julia's wife guessed, but at first she preferred not to pay attention. As a result, Irina insisted on a divorce and relocation. Victor did just that. Surprisingly, the current wife did not resist.

I went to the old house to talk with my beloved children and help. Once I came across an outsider who sympathized with his ex-wife. And feelings played, gave a dressing to the ex-wife. But I got the expected answer. Julia reminded - he left, left.

To the surprise of both parties, Victor told Irina that he agreed to remain exclusively a lover and returned to his family.

No matter how prosaic, but a sense of ownership in men in the blood. They have every right to have lovers, but former halves should not even think about new relationships. It often happens that husbands return to their former spouses after learning about the existence of an outsider.

The stronger sex has different requirements for his wife and mistress, the first must remain faithful, and the mistress must be beautiful.

A few tips for wives:

1. According to experts, a man will leave for another only if there is a long-standing discord in the family, and if a new hobby is just an excuse. He is unlikely to leave you until the situation is fully launched.
2. It is useful to force a husband to spend a lot of time on his family, then there will be no strength left for adventures with his mistress. He will stay with you, so familiar.
3. And don't give a man a tantrum. It is better to provide comfort, and he will change his mind.
4. Men's craving for property can play into your hands - cause jealousy.

Tips for lovers:

1. If a year has already passed, and he still has not parted with his wife, then he is unlikely to decide at all.
2. Don't rely on promises, pay attention to actions.
3. Tell him that you no longer want to remain in the status of a mistress. He will fulfill the condition, considering you a dear person. If not, decide for yourself.
4. You are hardly the only exception. Take it as a temporary option.

How can a woman understand that her husband has a mistress.

Every person dreams of having a happy and strong marriage. But over time, passion fades, feelings cool down, and romantic relationships change into household chores. But what to do if the time of the midlife crisis has come to the spouse?

Indeed, as a rule, at this age, a girl appears on the side of men and not everyone is able to resist something new, bright and colorful sensations. Let's figure out together why men have mistresses and how to live with it.

Signs that a married man has a mistress

Many wives are concerned about the question “Does their spouse have a mistress on the side?”. Statistics show that in 8 cases out of 10, husbands cheat on their soul mates. And this cannot be avoided.

A woman only has to use the following options:

• close your eyes to it
• divorce
• save your own family and strengthen your marriage

Is it worth it to forgive the betrayal of a spouse - this should be decided by the woman herself. However, before you can clearly change something, you need to decide whether to know the truth or continue to live in peace, not make scandals and leave everything as it was before.

If you are also interested in this issue, then you first need to do a little research. Watch your husband, try to follow his conversation. Also use our following tips, how to recognize that a husband has a mistress:

• Wallet. To begin with, in secret from her husband, check his wallet. Perhaps in it you will find a condom that your husband has saved for the future, a note or a check from a restaurant or store that says to buy wine. Each of these clues will help you expose your spouse.
• Mobile phone. In the event that the spouse goes into the next room with every call, constantly puts the mobile phone on silent mode, keeps the mobile phone only near him, then you should check his phone numbers, messages or photos. As a rule, male lovers are recorded under a completely different name, for example, “Vasya office”. You need to take note of these names. Perhaps it will be the girl with whom your spouse walks on the side.

• Underwear. If your spouse has been choosing underwear for a long time, trying to wear something sexy and beautiful, then you should do one experiment - give your husband torn socks. If he doesn't want to put them on, then something is wrong here. Most likely your husband is cheating on you and plans to take off your shoes away from home.
• Alcohol. Have you noticed that your spouse often comes home from work a little drunk, even though he has never drunk alcohol before? As a rule, men thus try to mask the extraneous smell of a woman.

• Perfume. Arriving home, they immediately close in the bathroom, sprinkle with toilet water, thereby hiding the smell of their mistress's perfume. Believe me, this indicates that your husband has someone on the side.
• Cloth. Try to periodically monitor your spouse’s clothes: did he come after work in shorts or socks inside out, if the fly on his trousers was unbuttoned, if his belt was fastened correctly. Or maybe there's a lipstick mark on his shirt.

• Social network. Keep track of who your husband communicates with on the Internet, you can even install spyware that will become your faithful assistant.

Why married men have mistresses at work: reasons, psychology of a married man

Often it is men who cheat on their spouses. Knowing this, the woman is trying to find out for what reasons married guys and men decide to cheat.

In psychology, there are several reasons why spouses decide to have a mistress:

• As a rule, men's desires in this regard are significantly different from the desires of women. After all, for them, intimate relationships are considered an important process. But for women and girls, sex is not so important. It may even be at the bottom of the priority list.
• In addition, constant fatigue from household chores also does not always cause sexual attraction in women. In this regard, the mistress is considered a competitor for the wife and very serious. Dissatisfaction in sex and employment can lead to the fact that the husband finds joy for himself at work.

• Psychological dissatisfaction. An important component of every marriage is the psychological comfort in marriage. If a husband and wife constantly quarrel, do not always find a common language, then the spouse can find a calmer environment, for example, on the side.
• Bad habits. Infidelity that occurs while drunk is a common occurrence. But such betrayals are mostly random and they can’t happen at all if a man doesn’t drink alcohol.
• Influence of surrounding people. In many men's companies, it is customary for someone to have a mistress. This raises the male respect and rating in the eyes of his friends.

• age crisis is an important reason why a husband has an affair on the side. In the life of every man there comes a time when he doubts his own abilities and appearance. The mistress in this regard is considered a "simulator", helping to restore the previous balance.

Why does a man need a mistress if he loves his wife?

Men are not always easy to understand. They are always missing something. Sometimes a spouse takes a mistress despite the fact that he loves his soul mate. Why?

• Wants to rest. The wife is a hostess and smart. But he is drawn to take a walk on the side. Why? The fact is that a man is not able to show weakness to his wife at home, to lay his own problems on the shoulders of his wife. But he needs relaxation. That is why he tries to rest on the side.
• Looking for the ideal. Many men get bored with everyday problems, and they stop idealizing their spouse. After all, from the very beginning she was the best for them. Over time, for her husband, she becomes an ordinary person who is full of shortcomings. This is what pushes men in search of the perfect woman on the side.

But you need to remember one more thing - the mistress only at the beginning appears in front of the man in beautiful outfits and with a beautiful appearance. This may also disappear, because the mistress is also a woman.

She also has an old dressing gown hidden in the closet at home. She also sometimes changes her mood, which at first she tries in every possible way to hide.

A man begins to see such shortcomings over time. But that doesn't always stop him. He just finds another passion for himself.

What kind of women do married men choose as mistresses?

For men, a woman should be the most ideal. Therefore, they prefer a mistress of this type:

• The mistress should be beautiful and well-groomed.
• A mistress should not have a white head, therefore, she should always be ready for intimacy.
• A mistress should not walk around the apartment in an old dressing gown and slippers.
• A mistress should not burden a man with her own problems that relate to children and the family budget.

What does a mistress mean for a married man, what does he expect from her?

The main reason why a man starts a relationship on the side is dissatisfaction with sex. It sometimes becomes very difficult for a husband to understand what to expect from a wife who is spinning like a squirrel in a wheel of worries. If a woman has other work besides housework, then when she comes home, cooks dinner, feeds all the household members and does the dishes, she does not think about intimacy at all, but dreams of rest.

But a man, even after a hard day's work, is full of strength and energy, therefore, he wants intimacy. That is why he expects such pleasures from his mistress.

But such a connection also involves communication. If scandals and quarrels await the husband at home, then the mistress listens to the man and understands him. This suits the man too.

Can a married man love, be jealous of both his wife and his mistress: signs

The concept of "love" for men and women has a different meaning. For women, love is loyalty, devotion, inspiration and care for a loved one.

For men, love is primarily a sexual relationship. Can a husband have sex with both his mistress and his wife? Of course.

Sometimes he even actively strives for this. This may not always mean what each representative of the strong half changes, whether for a reason or without a reason.

As for jealousy, every man does not like it when another man claims his property. After all, a sense of ownership and jealousy are inherent in every man. They love to feel like a “sultan” in a harem, in which both the wife and the mistress are concubines.

Why do wealthy men have young mistresses?

Very often, aged men give birth to young mistresses. They do this in order to increase their own self-esteem and potency, which, as a rule, tends to fade at this age. And all because, in their opinion, young girls have special sexuality and attractiveness.

They can attract the attention of every man and contribute to procreation. Here the main role is played by hormones called "pheromones". They especially smell of young girls during and after sexual contact.

Why does a man take a mistress older than himself?

Young men very often have mistresses who are much older than them. Why? Because they think they are women are more sexually experienced and wiser.

In addition, such women try to feed young lovers with delicious food, tend to listen carefully, never get annoyed and give good advice. Basically, such unions are considered quite successful.

Married man and married mistress: relationship

The love relationship between a woman and a man is very different. Some try to find the joy of life on the side, while others increase their own self-esteem in this way.

And there are those who fall in love with a woman on the side. And in some cases, men can even divorce their spouses.

But why do some men try to have a married mistress on the side? What attracts them to such a relationship?

• Both a man and a woman in this case meet only for the sake of intimacy.
• They do not need courtship and long conversations.
• They both feel quite calm. There are no unnecessary tantrums, scandals and misunderstandings.
• Partners do not try to destroy each other's family idyll.
• Couples do not give each other expensive presents.
• Relationships like this end easily.
• And most importantly, the relationship between a married man and a married woman is a risk, accompanied by a rush of adrenaline and a lot of positive feelings that can not always be found in everyday life.

How many mistresses can a married man have?

A man, being a family man, feels great, he has perfect health, he looks 100% and he constantly wants sex, then the number of mistresses he may equal the number of intimacy. After all, a man can afford to find as many women as his body can withstand and potency allows.

A married man loves his mistress: signs

It is very easy to understand that a husband has fallen in love with his mistress if you follow his behavior, gestures, words and deeds. A married man, of course, will take care of himself, since only a bachelor has no barriers to showing attention.

To guess that a man fell in love with his mistress, the following signs will help:

• He won't be able to resist touching the one he loves. Even if it happens completely by accident.
• If a man falls in love with a woman who works with him in the same office, he will constantly offer her his own help, for example, he will give her a lift home.
• He will be interested in everything related to his mistress: what she eats, what flowers she likes, where she likes to spend her free time, and so on.
• He will shower her with expensive gifts.

Do married men leave the family for their mistress: in what cases, how often?

Basically, men do not leave their wives and go to mistresses. After all, they understand that they arrive in a wonderful position.

It is often the wife who breaks off relations with the traitor. After that, the man has nothing to do but go to live with another. Also, men leave their wives if their marriages begin to "split at the seams", as the husband and wife cease to understand each other.

Why does a married man not let his mistress go?

Such an attitude is inherent in the owner and egoist, who, for his own convenience, is not interested in the feelings of his mistress. Such an attitude may arise immediately or be formed over several years.

It is also a sign that the man may have developed deeper feelings for his mistress. But he is held back by the fact that he has a family, children, a joint life.

Many are interested in why a married man does not want to let go of his mistress if everything is going smoothly in his family? Yes, everything is very simple.

He is simply comfortable - at home every day he is waiting for warmth and comfort, plus the attention of his wife. And his mistress will have bright emotions, strong passion and new sensations.

The role of a constant mistress in the life of a married man

Why do many men love to have a permanent mistress and do not want to part with her? What is the role of the mistress?

• A mistress for a man becomes an ideal woman. She gives him affection and passion, which a wife cannot always give. Her head is not full of family problems, and therefore she is always glad to see her, even if married, man.
• A man next to a constant mistress feels like a real macho. For him, such a position is considered prestigious, which, moreover, will raise his self-esteem.

• A permanent lover does not require gifts and flowers to win. Over time, she begins to be satisfied with what is already there.
• A constant lover can keep a man in love and warmth, and also cause him passion and incredible sensations.
• A permanent lover does not require commitment.

If a married man wants a child from his mistress: what does this mean?

There are several reasons why men want to have a child from their mistress. They are divided into thoughtful and thoughtless. But this does not mean that he wants to spend the rest of his life with the chosen one on the side.

So, let's list the most common reasons, why a man wants his mistress to give birth to a child:

• A man wants to have a child from his mistress if he loves her very much.
• If he does not have a joint child with his wife.
• If he and his wife have children, but they are already adults.
• He just wants to "throw dust in the eyes" of his own mistress, so that she does not put pressure on him with marriage and divorce from his wife.
• He wants to tie a mistress to himself at the expense of the unborn child.

When do married men leave their mistresses?

A man who is already married will never leave his mistress if he copes with his duties. However, if the mistress begins to feel like a spouse, that is, it sorts out similar qualities: makes scandals, sorts out relationships, does not always enter into intimacy with a man, then she becomes a "former" mistress. And the man himself finds himself a more interesting candidate for this role.

How to part with a mistress to a married man?

If a man wants to part with his mistress, do it beautifully and not inflict much moral harm on her, he needs to think in advance about how to fill the void and vacuum that has formed in the future.

The most ordinary, primitive method of parting with a mistress is to meet a friend or acquaintance who can fully satisfy the needs of a woman, both moral and physical. If the void is not filled, then the abandoned mistress will get to her former beloved: she will constantly call him, ask him to meet, look for random meetings in any convenient place and under any circumstances.

How does a man go through a breakup with his mistress, does he forget them?

When a man broke up with his mistress normally, that is, they both wanted it, then the man will not be very worried about this. He will rarely remember the time spent together.

When a man reacted painfully to a breakup, then he will suffer and be very worried. And if the former lover was still a passionate and vibrant personality, then he will remember such a representative for a long time and, perhaps, will never forget.

What is the fate of a married man's mistress?

What fate can await a mistress if she decides to link her fate with a married man? There is very little good here:

• The mistress will have to come to terms with the fact that her man will spend most of his time with his family. That is, on holidays he will be with his family, and he will devote weekends only to his wife and children.
• The lover will eventually become attached and get used to the man. From this, her self-esteem may decrease, she will begin to understand that she will never become that one for him.

• Married men in rare cases decide to divorce for the sake of their mistress. Most likely, she will not expect a life together with her beloved in the future.
• A married man, as a rule, feels his own obligations to his wife and children. Consequently, the mistress will be forced to adapt to her man and his daily schedule.

Stories of mistresses of married men

Olga, 31 years old:
“About five years ago, I had an affair with a married man. I was 23 then, he was 34. Of course, he had a strong marriage and children. I kept hoping that he would leave the family and live with me. But this did not happen not in a year, not in two years. Three years later, we broke up, or rather, I was the initiator. The role of mistress is the most terrible role. I don't recommend this relationship to anyone."

Ksenia, 22 years old:
“I was 20 years old. I was in my second year at university and just got a job. There I met a man who turned out to be much older than me and also married. But I found out about this after a year of our relationship. He hid it so diligently that I could not even think about the fact that he had a family. As soon as I found out about it, I left him. Of course, I was in pain. I dreamed that we would have our own house, children. Too bad it turned out to be just a fairy tale. I regret contacting a married man. You can't build your happiness on the misfortune of others."

Video: Be the mistress of a married man

Step 1. Sex leaves the family for a mistress. Since the real average number of sexual contacts that suit the average person is three to four per week, personal meetings of lovers should occur at least three times a week and always be accompanied by intimacy. Then the husband gradually ceases to be interested in his wife (even young, beautiful, slim and sexy) as a woman. This works even if the husband at the time of the emergence of the "left" connection had quite normal intimate relations with his wife. If marital intimacy was rare and uninteresting already at the start of infidelity, this destroys him completely. With the death of marital intimacy, family relationships themselves begin to disintegrate like a house of cards, from under which a foundation card was pulled out. A wife who has accumulated sexual tension begins to demand from her husband the fulfillment of her marital duty, but few people usually accept sex on the basis of the “under pressure” principle. So the usual loopback scheme arises:

Less sex - more emotional stress in the family.

More emotional stress in the family - less sex.

Then everything goes in a circle, the first follows from the second, the second - from the first. As a result, even the wife's thrice heroic efforts to improve the situation with marital intimacy are rarely successful.

Step 2. The family loses weekends and holidays. One of the days of meetings of lovers must be a day off. In this case, the wife becomes even more nervous. Since the weekends are traditionally used by all families as an opportunity to visit relatives or friends, the eternal employment of the husband on weekends leads to the fact that the family begins to lose touch with their traditional social circle. Relatives and friends feel that “something is wrong” in this family. This begins to gradually mentally prepare them for the future deterioration of the situation. In addition, a couple without an active family pastime on the weekend begins to become frankly bored in communication. Also, due to the eternal employment of the husband with his mistress on the weekends, unfulfilled household chores begin to accumulate in the family: something is not screwed, not taken out, not bought and not repaired. Because of this, the wife begins to put pressure on her husband, which continues to worsen the psychological atmosphere in the family and paralyze family intimacy.

Step 3. Formation of the husband's shadow budget. A married man gradually gets used to the fact that every meeting with his mistress costs some money: a cup of coffee, delicious desserts, business lunches, dinners, gifts, flowers and chocolates. The candy-bouquet period in relation to love relationships was just invented to begin the formation of a separate shadow budget for cheating husbands, an alternative to the family one. Just as a cell in the process of reproduction is always divided into two, so the existing family budget, due to the activity of the husband on the issue of his future reproduction with another woman, also begins to be divided into two parts. Of course, this automatically leads to a reduction in family expenses, which also causes tension in relations with the robbed wife.

If during the year the mistress is not able to get stable two or three meetings and sexual contacts per week (with a day off) from a married man and the cost of their communication, their relationship will not be able to develop. In the future, on someone's initiative, they will be curtailed. However, if everything worked out for the mistress, this relationship can last for many years. After about a year of such a relationship, a married man gets used to living in such a rhythm, in fact - for two women, for two houses. However, there is a caveat here:
That is, strengthening the position of a mistress is always a deterioration in the position of a wife. Which is quite logical. During a period of stability, every person begins to dream that it would be like this for many years, and preferably for a lifetime. Married men are no exception. Here the main thing for the mistress is still to have iron patience not to frighten away such a man and to hold out next to him in the same mode for another year or two. The main enemy of the mistress in this case will be her incontinence and haste. If she starts to put pressure on a man too soon, he, like a fish that has not had time to deepthroat the hook, can break loose and leave. If the girl holds out for two or three years, the probability of capturing new key heights, which are steps 4-6, increases dramatically.

Step 4. Formation of an alternative family nest. More and more aware of his moral and intimate dependence on this girl, not wanting to stop all this "illegal happiness", a married lover will certainly begin to strengthen the material base for meetings. And himself. He will rent an apartment for the girl, solve the problem with the hostel, help her buy her own housing, move her to one of her own apartments, if any. She will make repairs where she lives, buy furniture and household appliances. Will give a fur coat, a ticket to the sea or a car. Caring in this case, first of all, "about his beloved", a man, nevertheless, is already taking direct steps to create a material basis for a future family. So he is already in a second marriage, although he does not always understand this.

Getting used to the second house is always a blow to the first.

In this case, I will appropriately answer the question of many wives about why their husbands, usually so stingy, so generously spend a lot of money on their mistress. It's about sex and habit. During his marriage, a man gets used to the idea that all his expenses for a woman are an investment in himself, because everything is in the house! He automatically transfers this behavioral stereotype to his mistress. In addition, since the instinct of reproduction is stronger than the instinct of self-preservation, many husbands simply do not allow the idea that their mistresses can appropriate everything presented to themselves. Hence, there are so many deceived and robbed lovers ... However, we will not feel sorry for them: you have to pay for everything with money. Including for sex and education. Especially for education.

Life always teaches only for a fee. Sometimes the price is not only property, but life itself.

The successful formation of an alternative family nest always results in a husband having a second family home. Regardless of who owns it and whose money it is supported, it is always very welcome there! It is after a clear definition of a stable meeting place that a situation so pleasant for a man arises, when a pretty girl always meets him with a smile on her lips, and sees him off with sadness and tears, with all her appearance offering to stay forever. If a couple comes to such a situation, it means that the situation becomes much more complicated for the man's wife. If a couple does not form such a “love nest”, this love relationship, with a high degree of probability, will collapse, “dissolve” even without any counteraction from the wife.

A lover without her corner is a gift to his wife! Especially - if the husband himself is not among the rich. Most often, the wife does not even know about these relationships, since they will not develop into anything.

Step 5. Entangling a married man in a web of lies. Spending a lot of time with his mistress, investing money in her, the husband has to gradually increase the volume of his lies to his wife and children. Since he is forced to deceive them several times a week, and human memory is not unlimited, the husband begins to get confused in his own testimony: where he was, what he did, with whom he communicated. Afraid to accidentally let it slip, the unfaithful husband tries to communicate less with his wife in general. Which, more and more feeling the growing problems in the family, on the contrary, remembers absolutely everything that her husband tells her. Thus, the husband in the future gives his wife an increasing number of reasons for dissatisfaction with his behavior. What will later play a role in sorting out the relationship when the wife finds out about the betrayal. As a result, the husband himself worsens the moral and psychological climate in his family so much that, in contrast to them, the relationship with his mistress seems to him more and more frank, interesting and positive. Although, in fact, relations with a mistress can be at the same level all the time or even worsen, but it is against the backdrop of a decline in family relations that they seem to the husband to be on the rise.

Step 6. The appearance of a man's feelings of guilt in front of his mistress, dulling the feeling of guilt in front of the family. After a love affair lasts from a year to three years, a decent responsible man begins to feel more and more personal guilt for stealing her life time from his girlfriend. In saying this, an important caveat should be made:

Only very responsible and decent men go to create long-term relationships with their mistress.

Other categories of men simply do not do this! Male consumers generally have no desire to date someone for a long time. Moreover, they do not want to feel indebted to anyone and obligated. And smart women do not need relationships with such selfish men who take more than they give. Meanwhile, only patient and responsible girls are also able to create long-term relationships. Of course, not always highly moral, but in any case - not stupid. So it turns out that only very responsible and decent men who have met the same responsible and patient girls acquire long-term mistresses. Like ocean ships covered with shells, sailing on the sea of ​​life, decent men are overgrown with many years of love affairs, the expediency of which is not always clear even to themselves. But it is clear to all their women, both legal and illegal. All this is completely unsurprising and absolutely logical. The fact is that:

Only good husbands are always stable lovers.

After all, it was precisely for these qualities - responsibility, decency and kindness (often - even controllability), that their current wives once chose them as their husbands! So if some women were ready to marry these men and strongly married them to themselves, then the similar zeal in this matter of those other women who start from the starting position of lovers is completely understandable. For the sake of honesty, it should be recognized that all legal wives can be conditionally divided into three categories:

- half defended their future husband from his former girlfriends and other competitors (including - recaptured from his first wife);

- one third generally seduced him and helped him begin an intimate life for the first time;

- only another third fell victim to very persistent courtship from her husband.

That is why I affirm the thesis, which at first may seem seditious to many:

Married men with long-term mistresses

In essence, they are still responsible and decent.

If someone does not agree with the use of the concept of "decent" in relation to cheating husbands, I will explain. In the broad sense of the word, the term “decent” cannot be applied at all to any of the men who at least once had intimate contact with a woman before marriage, and in fact such people in our time are the vast majority! From my point of view, as a psychologist, responsible and decent men are those who always strive to do well “both ours and yours”: conscientiously fulfill their duties as a husband and father both in an existing family and in front of that mistress for whom at some point in time (as it seems to him) he begins to bear responsibility. What, in fact, the latter is using with might and main.

It is on the basis of a clear understanding that husbands without bad habits, diligently working for the good of the family, should not be scattered and given to everyone who wishes to use it, the author stubbornly dissuades women who have convicted their husband of treason from quick decisions about divorce. Convinced:

Don't give gifts to people who don't deserve them.

These are no longer gifts, but a shameful tribute.

Now back to the original thought.

Admitting one's guilt is an admission of one's responsibility.

Recognition of responsibility is always a step towards compensation.

The optimal compensation for life without a family is either money,

Or still creating a family with the one you love.

Hence, after a year or two or three, every decent married lover understands with horror that he is stealing the best years of the life of the one who nevertheless connected her life with him, despite the fact that he is married. Moreover, any smart lover hundreds of times will drive into the head of her "married man" the idea that before that she would never have thought that she would meet with a married man, and even fall in love with him ... But love is evil, and this married man is too painful he tried to fall in love with himself, and therefore took upon himself the required responsibility ... Thus, a married man understands that he has very serious obligations to his mistress. And as mentioned above, these people are used to fulfilling their obligations literally at any cost. The saddest thing is, including at the cost of both your own happiness and the happiness of your wife and children. Thus a sad paradox arises:

With a long love affair, the feeling of guilt in front of the mistress, who steals the best years of her life, often turns out to be stronger than the feeling of guilt in front of the wife, which in fact gave her husband an even more significant part of her biography.

By the time the mistress (when - delicately and unobtrusively, and sometime - frankly and straightforwardly) tells a married man that the years go by, it is high time for her to give birth, and the man himself (according to him) - suffers from life with an unloved wife, he already deeply feels the loss of connection with his wife. A minimum of intimacy, and boring. Going out to the movies and a group of friends - due to the need to maintain contact. Communication with his wife - only on the topic: what to buy, what to cook, how is the child doing? Moreover, most husbands do not feel much guilt for this deterioration, or rather, the formalization of relations with their wife. And the point is not at all that they have deteriorated and become stale in soul. Not at all! As the practice of their experiences after a divorce shows, everything is in order with their soul and with mental pain. Just in this period of time there is a certain psychological pattern:

For example, a wife with whom he has neither decent sex, nor pleasant leisure, nor plans for a retirement by the warm sea. She seems guilty to her husband, although he still remembers the time when everything was fine in the family. Therefore, the husband's guilt before his wife is anesthetized by pleasant erotic impressions from a girlfriend. But in front of a long-term mistress, with whom it is so pleasant to spend days and nights, the feeling of guilt for the lack of a divorce process and a new wedding gradually becomes unbearable.

As soon as a married man begins to feel awkward in front of his mistress, as soon as he begins to understand that the time has come to fulfill his vague promises “someday to be together forever, forever,” he begins to think about the technical side of the process. This is step number 7.

Step number 7. Understanding by a married man that he is at an impasse. My observations show that not only after a year or two, but even after three, five, seven years of living in two families, married men are still in no hurry to divorce their wife. The delay in resolving this issue is always associated with the following ten circumstances, which can be called "factors of the first order":

Ten Reasons to Delay Divorce

“A married man cannot muster the courage to tell his wife that he is leaving her. Moreover, almost always he either still loves his wife, or at least respects her as a person and mother of his child. He may also feel jealousy towards his wife, especially at the thought that she might marry someone else.

- A married man experiences a feeling of acute discomfort at the thought that he will lose touch with his own children. Moreover, they also have to be explained. This is especially difficult if the children are still minors.

- A married man is ashamed in front of his parents and his wife's relatives. Especially if he and his legal wife have good relations with them.

- A married man does not have significant funds to start a new family life with his mistress: buy another apartment, car, start a business, etc. Or his career and financial status has deteriorated during the betrayal.

A married man is seriously financially dependent on his wife. The apartment is hers, the car is hers, she has a higher income level, the business also partially belongs to her.

- A married man is generally financially wealthy, but he understands that the divorce process will take a lot of time and effort, after which he risks never returning to the existing level of comfort.

- A married man begins to understand that his mistress is not much different from his wife, and her advantages do not compensate for this shortcoming.

- The wife or child (or close relatives of the husband and wife) is seriously ill, the news of the impending divorce can simply worsen their health or even kill them.

- A married man himself is seriously ill.

- The lover herself is seriously ill or cannot get pregnant in any way.

As you can see, if we are talking about the life of a completely ordinary married man, then a certain number of these factors necessarily take place, which binds him hand and foot. Hence, sharpness and decisiveness in the issue of divorce is typical only for the following categories of married men:

– alcoholics and drug addicts who make decisions while under the influence of alcohol or drugs;

- rich men who have prepared in advance for themselves the material basis for a beautiful divorce and a new marriage;

- men whose wife is cheating, drunk and degraded, looks bad, has a truly unbearable character, treats her husband and children extremely badly;

- men whose wife broke off contact with her husband due to a long stay with her parents, being on permanent business trips, studies, advanced training, often going on vacation, for treatment, etc.;

- men to whom the wife refuses to give birth to another child (or cannot give birth in principle), but the mistress has already become pregnant;

- male losers, if the mistress is noticeably richer and more successful than his wife.

These factors can be called "second order factors".

If “second order factors” are absent, and “first order factors”, on the contrary, are present, a sane married man, for obvious reasons, drags out the moment of making his step into the unknown. Of course, his mistress does not like it very much. She wants to see the great activity of her married lover in solving such a significant issue for her. Understanding this, a married man begins to voice some semi-specific deadlines for notifying his wife that he is filing for divorce. Type:

“This year, my daughter will finish attending kindergarten, go to school, and then ...”.

“In three months, my son will receive a passport, and then…”.

“My daughter will go to university this summer and then…”.

“This autumn we will complete the second apartment (house) and then…”.

“After the New Year, I will have an increase in income and then ...”.

And so on and so forth. However, most often married men still do not fulfill their promises, everything is dragging and pulling. It is this moment in time that is the bifurcation point, the sharpest peak for determining the fate of the entire love triangle. If the wife does the right thing and the mistress makes a mistake, the husband will return to the fold of the family with great satisfaction. Yes, and with relief, he crosses himself, which God has taken away. If the wife makes a mistake, and the mistress does everything right, her chances, although they will not become one hundred percent, will increase markedly. But, most importantly: as soon as a married man begins to frankly delay with the practical implementation of the seemingly long-voiced and hard-won decision to divorce, as a rule, two things happen:

- or a husband who is morally tired of a double life begins to make such behavioral mistakes that will necessarily lead to the discovery of a relationship by his wife;

- or a smart lover understands that she will have to rely only on herself in this matter. And either she herself leaves the man who turned out to be too indecisive, or she herself begins to act so that his wife finds out about her existence. Her move in this direction will be step number 8.

Step number 8. The wife finds out about the existence of her husband's long-term mistress. Listing the main mistakes of a mistress, we said that she should not reveal her connection too early in front of his wife. However, as soon as the love relationship stabilized, it lasted more than a year or two, but at the same time it became clear that the man sitting on the hook of the female charms was still afraid and painful to leave the family, the mistress was forced to take action. And here there are some nuances.

In this scenario, it is the wife who takes the lion's share of the blame for the destruction of the family, the unfaithful husband turns into the "injured party", the lover turns out to be nothing at all. To get this ideal result for homeowners, first of all, they need to inform their lover's wife about their presence. For this, all means are good. For example:

- an informing call to his wife, allegedly on behalf of her husband's colleague at work;

- posting joint photos with a married man on the Internet;

- a lot of calls, SMS in the evening, a video or photo recorded or sent to the phone with your own participation (especially erotic);

- a stubborn demand to go to such public places (or to various mass events) where the couple will be clearly seen;

- provoking a man to have sex in a place and at a time when lovers can be caught by the wife, other relatives, acquaintances and work colleagues;

- smearing a lover with lipstick, showering him with your hair, rubbing his body and face with such different sparkles that they will definitely be noticeable on a man for his wife, leaving “scratches of wild passion” on his back and shoulders, etc .;

- putting a man on the office table, in the car interior, pockets of his clothes, a portfolio of items that compromise him: condoms, combs, perfume bottles, bracelets, earrings, rings, love notes, photographs, etc .;

- giving him as gifts those various items that will make his wife think (wallets, ties, watches, briefcases, key rings, phones, diaries, books, cufflinks, souvenirs, etc. N…”);

- direct placement on his desk in the office of a frame with his photo;

- accompanying a man from work and to work (it is especially effective to give him a lift by car);

- visiting his apartment in the absence of his wife, seclusion in the office at lunchtime and in the evening;

- such feeding him at work and during personal evening meetings, so that when he comes home, the man physically could not eat anything cooked by his wife;

- acquaintance with the children of a man, his parents, relatives, friends.

And so on and so forth. In the context of the task of “detecting a connection,” no matter how careful a man is, no matter how he tries to exclude the possibility of his puncture, thanks to the direct or indirect help of his mistress, the wife will still find out everything. After an explosion of emotions occurs in the family, when angry cries and tears subside, even some relief arises in the man’s soul: “From now on, the wife knows everything! Finally, you can no longer hide and play around! Lord, as much as it hurts me, the discovery is still for the best.” So it's time for step #9.

Step number 9. Moral support for a lover in his conflict with his wife. When all the secret becomes clear, every third husband who cheated on his wife leaves his family home and leaves. Where he goes and why, it was said in the first chapters of the book, so I will not repeat myself. Another 15-20% of husbands hesitate and may leave home within a few weeks. About half of the men stubbornly continue to live at home, even morally deciding to divorce. Many at this time repent of their deeds, trying to reconcile with their wife. In this difficult period of life, most mistresses have to morally support men of absolutely all of these categories. Why everyone, and not just those who leave home? Because "will the intrigue leave forever or remain?" persists for a long period of time, sometimes up to a year.

The strategy for supporting unfaithful husbands can be different. Some mistresses try to behave emphatically nobly, declaring: “Darling, if your family is so important to you, I can sacrifice myself for this ... Leave me and live on as if we had nothing ...”. Thus, they avoid responsibility for what is happening and rely on the fact that their external readiness for self-sacrifice for the sake of a loved one will give them additional bonuses.

Others artificially inflame their lovers with phrases like: “Well, do you deserve to be treated like this ?! How could your wife take and put you out the door after you have been a completely worthy husband and father for so many years?! You never know that you have another woman, because absolutely everyone has them ... I confess: when you complained to me about your wife, you didn’t believe you, you thought you were deceiving. However, now I really see what a terrible vixen she is! I'm very, very sorry for you. You, as a man, husband and father, deserve a better life. To the best of my modest strength, I will try to make your life brighter and kinder!

Still others, especially girls from among those who criticized the man’s wife long before the connection was discovered, state with satisfaction: “Well, it just happened that I always told you about, but you didn’t believe me: you were insulted and kicked out! You'll see, even the apartment will be taken away! And then all your life you will pay her money so that she rides like cheese in butter ... It was high time to leave her! I tell you the right things, but you always don’t listen to me ... ”.

Whatever the support strategies, they have the same essence: to convince a married man who has experienced severe stress (no matter how many years he prepares for a decisive conversation with his wife, no one is ever fully ready for this!) not a tragedy! Moreover, a scandal with his wife is just a start to a new family life, which will be much better than the previous one. First of all, because now next to this man there will be a much better girl than before! Therefore, there is no reason for grief or binge, it's time to act: file for divorce, get married and have new children!

The height of moral support is the lover's statement about her readiness to accept a man leaving the family: in her own housing, parents' apartment, rented housing or even a hostel. Or jointly rent some common housing. Hence, the completion of this stage will be the relocation of the husband who left the family to the “woman of her dreams”.

Step number 10. The creation of such comfortable living conditions for the runaway husband in a new place of residence that would not be inferior to the conditions of his life in the family. This step is key. No matter how much a man loves his mistress, no matter how sexy, rich or businesslike she is, no matter how much his wife offends him, no matter how emotional or principled the husband is - for a period from a week to a year, he still will come to its senses, the level of its adequacy will increase markedly. And on what he sees around him precisely at the moment of clearing his consciousness, the whole final outcome of this invisible world struggle of two women for one husband depends. Hence, these women face quite specific tasks: The priority task of a mistress is to, after detecting infidelity and moving a man who has left the family to her, not to turn into a classic wife for as long as possible, but to behave exactly like a mistress. Until the moment of divorce and the creation of a new marriage, strictly fulfilling all the "ten commandments of a successful mistress." If she takes on the role of a wife too quickly and starts demanding too much from a man who is stressed or depressed, he will definitely break down mentally. It will break even if the mistress becomes pregnant for joy. A broken man will either return back to the family, or none of the women will get it at all, starting a new life, or will cease to satisfy the interests of the mistress herself and she will personally send the morally worn out husband back to his wife. Therefore, the transformation of a mistress into a wife should not take place at once (which will immediately scare a man away from her), but in stages and very dosed and carefully.

The wife's priority is to to prove to the husband that his mistress has such obvious defects in her behavior that the husband simply has not yet had time to see and realize, and the wife herself may well restructure her behavior, be competitive compared to his passion, and also create comfortable conditions for her husband existence. Including - moral and psychological. The sooner the wife achieves this, the sooner and for a long time the husband will return to the family. At the same time, we are not talking about the fact that an angry wife also immediately began to follow all the ten commandments of her mistress! Although something, of course, will have to be taken from there. But the main thing is that in this difficult life situation, the wife should show herself to the hesitant or departed husband not only as a wife, but also as a woman!

I emphasize: it is a wife and a woman at the same time! The fact is that most of the wives who find out that their husband has a serious love affair mistakenly begin to play the role of a deceived and abandoned unfortunate mother. Hence, they either try to return their husband home at any cost, sinking to the extreme degree of humiliation. Or vice versa, they unequivocally drive him for divorce, trying to squeeze the maximum of material values ​​​​and alimony out of the unfaithful husband. Of course, angry wives can be understood, but it is important to see something else: no matter how much a man loves his child, no matter how his wife plays on it, most often, he understands: his mistress is able to give birth to other children! If the wife also makes such a gross mistake as she starts to turn the child / children against the father, then she will lose him with a high degree. This is because the role of a wife and a woman is noticeably wider than the role of a mother, because the role of a wife automatically includes the role of a sexual woman, the role of a mistress, and the role of a mother at once. The narrowing of her status by the wife during the period of the struggle for her husband to the role of only a mother creates successful starting conditions for such a smart mistress, who can gradually add the image of a caring housewife to her role of a beloved and sexy and good-looking woman, and then a mother. We'll talk about this later. Now something else is important:

This is the whole main intrigue of the behavior of the wife and mistress in the period after the wife discovered the fact of infidelity on the part of her husband. Whoever behaves as wisely as possible will get a husband. Of course, if this desire does not decrease in the abandoned wife to zero in the process of carrying out this struggle. After all, a noticeably improved wife may well count on a better husband! However, this is a completely different story. Which we leave outside the scope of this book, since the author immediately stated his position that the purpose of this book is to equip precisely those wives with the necessary data who seek to leave the right to dispose of their husband only to themselves.