How to close a gestalt: ways. What is an unclosed gestalt and how to close it Unfinished gestalt what

In psychology, the concept of "gestalt" means integrity. It is to integrity that our psyche always strives. But as often happens, when we started some business, we got distracted and did not finish. Or experienced an event that we cannot let go and forget. Integrity is broken, and we are tormented by incomprehensible anxiety, irritability, internal tension. Psychologists say that this is how it manifests itself unfinished gestalt.

A whole host of such unclosed processes can accumulate from childhood, from simple to deep, not always conscious. How could this be dangerous? Is it really worth worrying about how to close gestalt?

The essence of incompleteness

To make it clear what an incomplete gestalt is, we will give a few examples. You opened the mail, began to read the letter, it seemed important to you, but suddenly someone called. During the conversation, you were visited by a certain thought that you would like to express, but did not have time, because you heard the cry of a child, hung up and ran to check what happened. Then they got busy with daily business, cleaning, work, etc. It seems to be nothing special, but until the end of the day, thoughts about an unfinished conversation, an unfinished letter, and a lot of other unfinished business do not let you go. This negatively affects your emotional state, and therefore, your behavior. Such unclosed gestalts are quite simple, but there are situations much more serious.

For example, a person in childhood experienced a traumatic event that made a strong impression on him, but none of the adults considered it necessary to explain to him exactly what happened, why it happened, and how to proceed. Another example is when, on an incomprehensible note, a serious relationship ended in a person, and he did not have time to express the desired emotions and feelings. This kind of incomplete gestalt in love and relationships connects us, like invisible chains, with certain life scenarios, people and situations. The event or relationship has long been ousted from memory, and the trace in the form of unreasonable fear, tension and anxiety remains. Work left unfinished, unfulfilled desire, unreleased relationships, unexpressed emotions, unlived events - all these are unfinished gestalts that close the doors to a full life.

Why are unfinished gestalts dangerous?

Imagine how a person works at a computer, constantly opening new applications and programs without closing the previous ones. Sooner or later, depending on performance, the system will start to fail, give errors, until it completely freezes. It also happens to the human psyche with a large number of unfinished processes. Why does an unclosed gestalt become a problem for a person? The fact is that psychic energy is released in response to the emergence of a need (to say, live, express, complete, etc.). And everything that is not finished tends to be completed.

Thus, when the gestalt is not completed, a large amount of energy is expended in maintaining this suspended situation, which leads to the depletion of human resources. This can be expressed in the form of a decrease in concentration, unconscious tension, anxiety, irritation, psychological discomfort, and insomnia.

Over time, a deep feeling of dissatisfaction with life appears, which can result in neurosis, depression, chronic stress, and somatic diseases.

The danger of an open gestalt lies in the fact that a person constantly returns to these situations, tries to experience them in other relationships with other people. He gets caught in a vicious circle and cannot move forward. You must understand how important it is to close the gestalt of past relationships, experienced situations, unexpressed emotions in order to move forward and live a full life here and now.

The influence of gestalts on loved ones

It would seem, how can our unfinished situations affect other people? However, the closest people - children and partners - suffer the most from this. For example, a person who at one time dreamed of becoming an artist, but went to a law school at the behest of his parents, will, not realizing his unfinished desire, send his child to all kinds of creative circles. At the same time, they usually forget to ask the child himself about what he really wants, how to realize himself. After all, it is much easier to make an artist out of your child than to close the gestalt on your own, to work through the unfinished situation yourself.

In a relationship, incompleteness manifests itself in the form of whims, incomprehensible demands, tantrums and inappropriate behavior. And the fault is the lack of attention from the previous partner. In order not to torment people dear to the heart, it is necessary to work through and complete all incomplete processes, to strive to close the gestalt in past relationships.

Gestalt closure methods

How to complete the gestalt that excites you? An important and unshakable rule: start with the simplest! Finish something that does not require much effort and mental resources, do something that you have long wanted to, but constantly put off. For example, vacation, English courses, buying a subscription to a fitness club. In order for an unfinished gestalt to stop bothering, sometimes it is enough just to pay attention to it. Awareness of true aspirations and desires allows you to close the issue once and for all. Think about what exactly torments you, what you did not realize, what you did not express. If it is possible to end the situation with the people and in the circumstances in which it was opened, do it. It is more difficult to achieve this in a situation where the gestalt is not closed, and the people involved in the situation are not available. In this case, in order to achieve a complete gestalt, you can use the following methods:

- Express emotions, express thoughts to another person who will support you.

- Stop fighting. Just accept the unfinished process as such and stop emotionally reacting to it.

- Pay special attention. Pay close attention to pop-up images that refer to an unclosed situation. Bring actions, memories and other details to the level of consciousness. Thus, consciously processed information will complete the process.

- How to close the gestalt in a relationship with a man? Use the transfer technique. Work out the incomplete gestalt in similar circumstances in the present. For example, you realized that problems with a partner are related to the fact that you did not have a closed gestalt in a relationship with another person. Just ask your partner to surround you with special care for a while, this will help get rid of incompleteness.

- Simulate the situation. Imagine how your incomplete gestalt could be closed. Try to imagine how you would like the situation to end, live it mentally again and put an end to it.

How to protect yourself from unfinished processes

You can recognize simple unclosed situations on your own, it is much more difficult to complete a gestalt from childhood, which is hidden in the subconscious. This is where a psychologist comes in. However, in addition to working towards the completion of already open gestalts, it is important to learn how to avoid situations that create unnecessary attachments so as not to again fall into the network of incompleteness. To do this, remember and follow three simple rules:

- Express your feelings and emotions openly. This is the most important rule, since the biggest problems are always associated with unexpressed experiences. Suppression of emotions is not a way out, they will not disappear anywhere, but only transform into blocks and diseases. Therefore, if you are angry, sad, happy, express feelings immediately. It is good to do this through creativity.

- Speak out if you need to. Of course, in society there are certain rules of politeness and tolerance that do not always allow you to speak openly. But if you don't, your mental health will suffer. Therefore, if it is not possible to express an idea directly to the addressee, share your opinion with a friend, play this scene with someone to end the situation.

- And the most simple rule - bring to the end all the cases, promises and work. Set reminders, plan, use any chips so that unfinished work does not disturb emotional balance.

As an epigraph
I do mine and you do yours.
I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations.
And you are not in this world to live up to my expectations.
You are you and I am me.
If we happen to find each other, that's great.
If not, then there's nothing you can do.
Fritz Perls, founder of the psychological direction of Gestalt therapy

As another epigraph
The best way to go crazy
expect a different result with the same behavior.
Jeanie Danielle Duck

What is UNFINISHED GESTALT?
Ooo!
This is a black hole into which our energy and forces go.
It is a chain that ties us to people, places, life situations.
They are puppet strings that control our behavior.
This…

But translated from German, the word gestalt sounds harmless : image, figure, form. And human behavior, according to the theory of Gestalt therapy, is subject to the principle of correlation between FIGURE and BACKGROUND, the principle of FORMATION AND COMPLETION OF GESTALT.

I took the liberty of a few terms to introduce the readers of the article into the world of psychology.
But this is important for a better understanding of the processes that occur in a person at an unconscious level.
Now let me explain these concepts with examples.

FIGURE and BACKGROUND In its perception, the consciousness of a person chooses what is important and interesting to him.
This is how a significant figure and background appear.

A great example of Figure and Ground, which Perls gives:
“Imagine a party.
Different people come to it.
Here is a guest who, first of all, wants a drink .
That's the kind of need he has. What will be his "figure"? It is clear that this will be the largest bottle of alcohol containing the strongest drink. And everything else will be "background" for him.
Here is a guest artist whose painting hangs on the wall .
For her, the "figure" will be this picture or a person who will stand in front of this picture and will examine it. And everything else will be "background".
And here is a young man who is supposed to meet his girlfriend at this party. It is clear that she will be a “figure” for him, and everything else will be a “background”.

FORMATION AND COMPLETION OF THE GESTALT Unfortunately man more often CREATES a gestalt(that is, a certain situation in life) and less often FINISHES it(that is, for a considerable time he continues to think about what happened, “drain” energy into it, worry, fantasize that he should have done this and that, said this and that), especially if the initiator of the termination of the interaction ( for example, relationships in a couple) are not YOU, but HE / SHE. Or even you, but, suppose, out of a desire for revenge.

Sometimes FORMED, but UNFINISHED gestalt looks like this. metaphorical example.
I took a candy, took a bite and put it aside - I didn’t like it. I took another one, took a bite, put it next to the first one. I took a bite of a dozen and you sit unhappily unsatisfied, you won’t understand what’s the matter. I want sweets, there are a lot of sweets around, but everything is not right ... not right ...

Or another metaphor.
Pasted wallpaper. But a little bit did not calculate the footage. And you can't buy the exact same ones. And now the unglued place is an eyesore, it does not give rest - a person with an unfinished gestalt is ready.

A classic example of how an incomplete gestalt affects human behavior.
A little girl suppressing her crying in fear of her mother's wrath.
Meeting with someone else's anger and own grief ALREADY IN ADULT, it will subconsciously remind her of the initial situation and force her to reproduce the behavior characteristic of the past, that is, to suppress her emotions so as not to anger the other and not experience the consequences of anger.
And the mechanism at the subconscious level is simple and looks something like this: “When they get angry at me, it’s scary ... Because then I feel unloved ...”

It is the same in the relationship between a man and a woman.
The former man, referring to the workload, spent time with another.
She found out. Separated. But every time the current man is delayed, SHE gets nervous, imagining HIM with another.
Companions of new relationships with such an incomplete gestalt are HER distrust, suspicion, jealousy, total control.

THE DANGER OF INCOMPLETE GESTALT FOR RELATIONSHIPS in the fact that a person “loses” the old situation again and again, BUT with new people, because she (the situation) worries him (the person).
And I want to complete the unfinished, to express the unspoken, to receive the unreceived, in order to achieve a sense of integrity and satisfied calmness.
And people do not understand that the conditions, actors and scenery have changed somewhat.
And the person is surprised WHY this garbage is repeated in his life again and again ...

ANSWER: incomplete getalt-s.
You should have finished THERE, not HERE. Live the disappointment THERE, Express the anger THERE, Speak the hurt THERE, Take revenge THERE to leave everything THERE and move on lightly into a new relationship.

BUT THIS IS THE PERFECT PICTURE, THIS IS THE PERFECT ACTION.
Now you know about them and you can, I hope, apply them.

HOW TO UNDERSTAND IF YOUR LIFE IS UNFINISHED GESTALT?
It's simple.
1.Listen to yourself.
If you feel anger, irritation, anger towards someone, if you are offended by someone or want to take revenge (there is some significant figure - mom, dad, man, woman, boss, and so on, to whom you "pay special attention ”), then you are controlled by an incomplete gestalt.
2. Look at the events in your life.
If there are repetitive, disturbing events, then your life is ruled by an incomplete gestalt.

AND WHAT TO DO WITH THE PAST?
GESTALT DEFINITELY NEED TO BE COMPLETED SO IT DOES NOT COMPLETE YOU!

True, many unfinished business can no longer be completed in real life.
Either the situation is not the same - there is no point in returning ... Although it still worries.
Or the train has already left - the "culprit" of the unfinished process suddenly disappeared, left, died.

YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
1. Tell someone about an exciting situation to let off steam.
2. Dream up how it could end differently, so that another, positive picture is fixed in the mind.
3. Analyze the entire scenario of the previous relationship in order to understand HOW to dispose of the experience gained.
4. Come to a consultation with a psychologist with a problem.

There are probably other good ways that I don't know about yet.

BUT, I know for sure about one quick and very effective way to complete the gestalt - SYSTEMIC FAMILY CONSULTINGS.

Fast way, because the arrangement lasts only an hour or two.

Effective method, because the gestalt in the process of placement is completed both at the level of consciousness and at the level of the body.
And you can complete almost everything that worries you in the arrangement.

Resultconstellations You leave the past to the past.
Phew... And now you can create the present and the future that you have long dreamed of.

Take care of yourself, right?

Evgenia Makarochkina.

PS
I will be happy to conduct a systemic family constellation for you and help you complete the processes that are very hindering in the present.

At the beginning of the twentieth century, a direction in psychology was founded in Germany, which was called "Gestalt psychology". Gestaltists built their own on the fact that the perception of the surrounding world by a person is based on the sensory and figurative perception of objects and phenomena as integral structures, indivisible into separate components. For example, if a person sees some familiar object with missing parts, then his consciousness seeks to complete this object and “finish” these very missing parts.

In the same way, people strive to complete, supplement, bring to a logical whole unfinished actions, unexperienced feelings, emotions and thoughts that have not been fully expressed. The principle of completion formed the basis of the psychotherapeutic methods of Gestalt therapy founded by F. Perls. He believed that a person always strives to complete an unfinished gestalt, finish the unfinished and achieve a sense of wholeness and harmony. When certain life events and situations, as well as feelings and experiences associated with them, come to a logical conclusion, a person has a state of calm and confidence, felt not only on an emotional, but also on a bodily level.

What does it mean to complete a gestalt? This means to satisfy the need, the main and most significant at the moment of life, realized and felt at the physical, emotional and mental levels. In Gestalt psychology, the emergence and satisfaction of a need is a cycle of formation and completion of a gestalt. Figuratively speaking, each human need is a bright figure that stands out against the general background of life experience. When the need is satisfied, the figure leaves, dissolves in the surrounding background, but another figure appears, and the higher and more significant the need, the clearer and brighter the contours of the figure. An incomplete gestalt is an interrupted cycle, a situation that is needlessly or emotionally not brought to its logical conclusion. What is happening and why? The reasons for this may be very different. These can be external social factors or intrapersonal prohibitions and restrictions imposed by upbringing. Well, so what, - someone will say. Incomplete actions do not mean the end of life, does it continue? Yes, life goes on, but how, and what kind? Every unmet need, and especially a deeply significant one, leads to stress. The stress caused by the incompleteness of one need creates the incompleteness of another. So, gradually life turns into a series of failures, unexpressed feelings, emotions, which entails boredom and inaction.

Emotionally incomplete gestalt are feelings of disappointment, grief and anger, sadness and indignation that arose sometime in the past in relationships with parents, lovers, children, spouses and which were not expressed and expressed. An unfinished gestalt can also be from actions not taken in the past, from what has arisen and is unconscious, etc.

Psychotherapists argue that an incomplete gestalt makes a person constantly return to it, to those unexpressed feelings, interrupted experiences or actions, trying to somehow experience them again, in a different form. Very often, parents, forcing children to perform some actions and deeds, try to complete their own unfinished gestalt in the past. But even more often a person tries to avoid the completion of what was once incomplete, thereby increasing his dependence on the past. It includes mechanisms for avoiding and suppressing emerging unconscious needs and desires that were once unfulfilled, and this, in turn, leads to neuroses and

Gestalt therapists, using various therapeutic techniques and techniques, help a person to identify and realize from vague sensations and intuitive dissatisfaction once unfinished actions and emotions in order to relive them again, already at a different level, and thereby harmonize their life.

What is an unfinished gestalt? An unfinished Gestalt is a chain that chains us to people, places, life situations. These are unfinished situations. In other words, he took an apple, took a bite and set it aside. He took another one, took a bite, put it next to the first one. After biting a dozen and sitting unhappy, you won’t understand what’s the matter. Or - he sewed a beautiful outfit, but there wasn’t enough thread for the sleeve, and he lies unfinished, his eyes are callused, he doesn’t give rest. Here's a man with a finished unfinished Gestalt.

And people with unfinished Gestalts are still “those” people who try to complete them in other situations and with other people, imposing roles on them in their own unfinished business, because it is in the nature of people to strive to complete unfinished actions and achieve a sense of integrity and tranquility.

So, for example, I could not once understand what a person needs, what he is hysterical about, what he is hinting at and what they generally “want”. But it turned out that with me a person was playing his unfinished Gestalt. He was dissatisfied with previous relationships in which he failed, and subconsciously lost them again, but with me. But it doesn’t happen, I’m different, and my thoughts are different, and I feel differently. You have to end there, not with me.

Or, for example, I am also good: I was jealous, I was waiting for someone important to me to praise me, take care of me, show attention, but - no. That’s why I was harmful and, with enthusiasm understandable only to me, “eaten away the brain” of another person, so that he, therefore, had a reason to take care when, from an excess of feelings, I fell into childhood and fell out of balance.

The feeling of completeness, by the way, is consonant with intuition. For example, you have a desire to send some kind of booger to hell, that’s a direct message rushing out of you, but you have tolerance and politeness. Or worse, indecision. And while you are thinking about how to decently replace the three-letter word, the booger suddenly takes and disappears / sends you. And you are left with your unfulfilled promise and indignation one on one.

In general: When we really want something / someone, but “wigwam”; When we broke up with someone on a very strange note, without understanding what happened; When we have not completed a work or action, and, mentally returning to it, we experience irritation and discomfort - this is the unfinished Gestalt in all its glory.

Incompleteness can arise from unexpressed love, unrequited guilt, actions not taken in the past. If he failed to express in time the disappointment, anger, grief, sadness, indignation that arose in relations with people. Incomplete actions are blocked. We feel unhappy and tense, inside there is a focus of chronic displeasure and anxiety.

Do you know when you will be free from negative emotions, bitterness and resentment? When you feel that you do not need anything from this person - not his love, not his respect, not his approval, nothing at all. Until then, you will not be able to control your emotions, you will be angry, think about revenge and feel miserable. Deep down, you still want something from this person, you are emotionally attached to him, but you don’t even admit it to yourself.

A person is floundering like this in a puddle of people who did not give / did not take / did not appreciate / did not notice. From time to time it gets out of it, but it is not always possible to shake off the adhering dirt and clay from oneself - and they slow down, prevent one from moving further. To forgive is to let go of the resentment, hatred, and other feelings that accompany incompleteness. Try to remember only the good things that were connected with this person, because gratitude allows you to get rid of feelings of indignation.

Stress, insomnia, irritability and neuroses feed on unfinished actions. They can disable and permanently deprive the ability to concentrate. Postponing the decision: finish eating an apple - finish an outfit - send a goat is a typical example of an unfinished Gestalt. Feelings, emotions, experiences that were not expressed and completed in the past. And, most importantly, the avoidance of their completion - these "avoidances" do not allow a person to live a full life. A person slips when irritation cannot find a way out.

The greatest difficulty in resolving Gestalts is that often those around and even close people (and this is very important, damn it!) Are not able to support the expression of these feelings, do not accept them and deny their significance, considering them stupid and even dangerous. As a result, a person develops defense mechanisms to cope with his own feelings, which he feels, but allegedly should not or does not want to feel himself.

Yes, many unfinished business can no longer be completed in real life. Someone was never sorted out, but he took it and left/died/disappeared, or the situation is no longer the same and the milk ran away. Rhetorical question: what to do? Need, as you know, requires activity.

You can complete:

- through a return to old actions
- referring to parallel situations in the present
- play a scene - "on the topic"
- to dream up how it could end.
- either accept things as they are

Nothing, nothing, I will still figure out how to express, release the energy that was frozen, and it will be possible to move on, to a new experience. So, start with a simple one, and then you look - and the Gestalts will begin to close one by one, the chains will burst and you will be happy.

Take care of yourself, right? Tatiana Gribanova. The article is posted with the permission of the author.