Persistent man. An assertive man - the ultimate dream or a nightmare? Male qualities of perseverance and aggressiveness

What to do if you liked a woman, but the attempt to invite her on a first date failed? Continue attack? Suddenly, she will consider this an obsession, and will avoid any contact ... Stop seeking? Then you can hear in pursuit that you were not persistent enough, but you had every chance to conquer. You don't understand these women! How to proceed in such a situation? To storm an impregnable fortress, or not?

Does a man really want to conquer her, the one that is inaccessible? But often attempts to show male perseverance turn into a failed obsession. How to distinguish between persistence and obsession, show the first, and avoid the second?

Obsession - attempts to force to do something against the will of a woman, and it is usually accompanied by tediousness. How it usually manifests itself, and what should not be done:

Insist that she is uncomfortable or unpleasant. Suppressing the will of any person, be it a man or a woman, is bad. Moreover, at this stage, although you are a man, you are still an outsider. Therefore, popular statements about the submissiveness of women will be good later, when you acquire the legal right to be called her man. In the meantime, be kind enough to reckon with her tastes, time constraints and habits. Don't try to rudely break her mind. If you do not understand the motive for refusing to go to the cinema with you, ask what exactly you do not like: the movie, the time of the show, or something else. And to insist on those positions that are convenient only for you - this is a loss of a chance to possess her heart.

Fill up with SMS and calls that remain unanswered. Yes, we can "break" a little, not answer one or two calls, but send something like "Sorry, very busy" in the message. But when there is a complete disregard "on all fronts", then there really is no interest, and you kill it even more with your obsessive activity.

Come visit unexpectedly. An unexpected guest, as they say, is worse than a Tatar. Of course she won't be happy! Moreover, at home she can be completely at home, she can have other guests, household chores, and a whole host of other reasons. Feel free to become an uninvited guest when you achieve her location. For now, no.

Meet and see off if she refuses. The same can be said about the regular "duty" near the entrance, work. It's one thing when you already communicate quite closely, and quite another is the constant persecution of an unfamiliar person. What is it, if not obsession?

Don't try to quickly switch to tactile contact. Everyone has personal space, and it is guarded quite carefully. Someone does not like when they take his cup, someone cannot stand the touch of strangers. Not all women are "touchy", many like a quick rapprochement. But one indispensable condition must always be fulfilled: the presence of sympathy. If a woman has not yet melted, then an attempt to quickly approach her, on the contrary, will push her away. Know how to feel the moment when she herself will be ready. If this does not happen, then your attempts to impose any physical contact will be rejected.

How to be persistent?

Women tend to resist, this is our trump card! And how sometimes disappointing are men who are not ready to show even the slightest drop of perseverance! Very often, it is not the smartest and most beautiful who wins in life, but the one who did not give up and found ways to achieve the goal. This universal principle is also valid for amorous affairs. Perseverance - gradually take step by step towards each other, taking into account the interests of each other, and trying to reduce the distance between you.

What is persistence:

Offer what she loves. Do you really want to win her heart? Then you should ask what she likes and what she likes. Surely a woman who loves sea holidays will be interested in a weekend trip to the sea in the company of cheerful friends. And if she is a fan of bowling, then you have every chance to spend an evening with her, playing a game or two of this game. It is not necessary to "break" yourself or sacrifice something. Find common interests, and in no case do not reproach her for the fact that you "dropped everything" for her! Nobody forced you.

If the woman refused for the first time, try the same pleasant offer. Perhaps last time, indeed, "grandmother got sick." After all, worthwhile offers are subject to consideration!

Make pleasant surprises. It's such a small thing! But how nice it is when you pay attention! Give her a ride home one day because you're on your way, borrow your jacket, feed her strawberries in season. Attention should be shown in caring little things, not in persecution.

Call. Necessarily. And send SMS. Sometimes. Calling or texting for no reason, without demanding dates or obsessive compliments, will spark interest and keep you confident that you like her. We know that guys don't really call just like that!

Get lost. The secret to successful persistence is not to be overly assertive. After a few successful surprises, walks, and calls, take a break. Give the woman time to think about you and get bored a little. This will certainly happen, because, "the less we love a woman ...", the higher the likelihood of a lady's interest in you.

Make decisions. When women enthusiastically talk about men who are able to "hit the table with their fists," what they mean is not brute force at all, but the ability to make decisions and take actions alone. If you follow her every desire, she will find you not manly enough. Be able to choose some things on your own: for yourself and for her. In an armful, in a car, and forced to the sea! This is probably one of the most pleasant manifestations of male strength and perseverance.

Of course, perseverance alone is not enough to conquer an impregnable beauty.

Do not forget about manners, cleanliness and appearance, and most importantly - do not miss the moment of the most successful "active attack". However ... There is no ideal recipe for conquering women's hearts. Only through personal observations can one understand whether it is worth making another attempt, or even after the tenth time the woman will not give up. Does she need perseverance and courtship, or does she prefer a quick rapprochement, and you are simply not her type. Guess us! That's why we are women!

from the expanses of Runet

A man follows his destiny - a woman follows her man. Deeds, achievements, creativity - this is the main thing for a man, while family and sex accompany and fill him on the path to fulfilling his destiny.

The woman enjoys the abundant fruits of his incarnation. For a man, the head is the cosmos, and for a woman who is directly connected with the cosmos, the husband is the head. Love is a part of a man's life on his path to fulfilling his destiny, and for a woman, love is everything, that's what it is...

A man is firmness, core, warmth, care, determination, penetration, external, giving, activity, achievements. The man is handsome and real in his hardness. Not in heartless hardness, but in proper stubbornness, in confident intention, in grateful action.

Thus, a man becomes a master: a person who is firm, resolute, loving, leading, admiring, controlling, guiding, and at the same time, flexible, resilient, listening, perceiving, sensitive, affectionate ...

Perhaps the first thing that surprised me was how my wife perceived what was happening in her life. For example, in the evening she shared the events of her day. Her story could go on for an hour. It had a lot of details, nested stories, feelings and experiences.

Despite the fact that the events of the day themselves were most often quite ordinary, nothing special.

When it was my turn to share, I broadcast only a few sentences about some important events for me. This is my story...

It is very important that a man and a woman, living together, jointly invest in common well-being and abundance - that is, in a nutshell, work together, both one and the other. Let a man always get more and the main flow of abundance embodies the man at home and in life, for a real man it is always important that the girl contributes to increasing wealth and prosperity.

The main thing is that it doesn’t matter at all how much a man earns at the same time. Even if the man is still in bloom...

When a woman takes on a male role in a relationship and takes care of the family, the man relaxes and stops caring about his wife and family. And why should he strain if this role is actively performed by a woman?

A man has not yet decided on his feelings, and does not call you to marry?

Stop serving him. Do not waste your time, energy on him, and you should not agree to sex, for the sake of the desire to Serve him. Do not forgive: irresponsibility, indifference, laziness.

If in these examples you find out...

Men, remember your children! When you are near, when you are far from them....

Children are not only a distant and unclear future. Kids are REAL!

Do you play with your child, help with homework, provide financial support?

This is great, you are great! But that's not all. This is the beginning, the foundation for your relationship with your child.

Teach your son or daughter what you know yourself, be moderately strict and demanding. It's necessary. Love them, love them openly, don't be shy!

Do not be shy in front of them and your ...

Yes, it happens that men leave, break off relations in "the full swing." Many women, especially those who "believed" in this relationship, call it that - I was abandoned. And they suffer precisely because they strongly believed in these relationships, but the man could not stand it, changed his mind, decided to run away from responsibility. It is especially painful when a man leaves a woman in a position, and they are not married. As long as they have a romance - everything is fine. Or not very nice, but that doesn't matter. Bells are such a thing...

If a man constantly insists on his own in a relationship with a woman, he insists on his own superiority. This is his conditioning, and he is in a struggle with a woman.

Taking the right position in life, we will not have superiority - we are natural. A man who has not lost his naturalness is not afraid and does not avoid a woman. He will not despise her, he will not develop hatred for her, because he is not obsessed with her.

When a man is obsessed with a woman, she is for him a sharp reflection in ...

What is persistence? This is the ability to continuously follow the decision made earlier. Before action, a choice is made - what to follow. Once a decision is made, a person can follow it or not. If not, a person is called weak-willed, unstable.

If a person nevertheless followed the decision made, but the attempt was unsuccessful, after several failures, the desire to continue to follow the decision may disappear. Then we are talking about lack of perseverance. True perseverance is when...

A TIE MAKE A MAN

In fairness, it is worth saying that the vast majority of men - about 95 percent - wear a tie, however, someone ties it almost daily and spends fabulous money on this wardrobe item, and someone reluctantly puts on a 100-ruble noose bought on the market “Only on ceremonial occasions. However, the very fact that a man's neck is adorned with a tie speaks for itself: its owner is not indifferent to his appearance, he wants to impress...

If you want something, it doesn't mean that you will get it. Sometimes you have to take it by force. It is often forgotten that success in a career, in women and in life in general depends on such valuable male qualities as perseverance and aggressiveness. How often do you miss out on great opportunities without being brave enough, tenacious, persevering and aggressive enough?

“If good things don't happen by themselves, they must be achieved” Film “Hotel Marigold”.

The modern age has given rise to many problems for men and one of them is indecision. We have become too rare to claim our rights to anything. We have become too cultured, modest and weak. As a result, you can see how more cheeky, bold, arrogant and confident people take away what should have been yours.

Persistence and aggressiveness can be easily seen in the example of visitors to big cities and capitals. "Come in large numbers" have a more iron grip, more aggressive, more persistent, more direct and more purposeful. They retained the natural fighter gene. Perseverance and aggressiveness are animal instincts that allow you to survive and be a more competitive male.

Do you want to get a position, a job, money, a woman or something else? Your goal is quite desirable and many want to get it. This is fine. There will always be competitors and those who claim the common or even your piece of the pie. You will always cross someone's path and occupy someone else's, as they think, place. But why should you give in because someone else has laid eyes on it too? What are you worse? Why should you back down, give up, and seem polite when they try to brush you aside?

Even in today's world, the fittest survive. Are you ready to stand up for yourself? How to be more persistent and even aggressive?

Male qualities of perseverance and aggressiveness

1. Think before you act

Before you fight for anything, you need to understand if you need it. Analyze how important the goal is and do you really want to get it, and not because of sports passion? Is it in your interests, goals, plans for life and part of a dream? Think before you try to get what you may not need. Sometimes this is a waste of time and energy.

2. Be persistent

When you see the infringement of your rights, you should immediately begin to defend them. You don't have to be aggressive or overbearing right away. Calmly state your needs, desires and rights. Express your point of view. Be politely persistent, confident and unshakable. Use body language to convince your opponents.

3. Be aggressive

It is not always possible to reach an agreement in a good way or achieve the desired peacefully. Show your strength of character, confidence and fighting mood. Show your fangs to those who cross the road or do not understand in a good way. Weakness and insecurity are often mistaken for kindness. Don't let people fool you. When it matters to you, stand up for your rights as aggressively as possible. Do not be a nurse and a weakling. Take your own, and maybe even someone else's, if you claim it.

It is believed that a man should always be a leader, which means to achieve the girl he likes, for example, to prove in a fight with an opponent that he is better. Mom always told us from childhood that the strength of a man in his character and the first role in a relationship always belongs to him, so a girl should modestly wait for actions from him and only then take timid steps towards.

During the period of courtship, a young man should show signs of attention, fulfill the whims of his princess, in general, do whatever the young lady wants. Moreover, at any moment she can build a disgruntled mine and declare that if he does not do everything that she wants, then she will go to another more caring gentleman. It's some kind of discrimination, isn't it?

These beliefs actually came to us from past centuries, when girls really were the weaker sex and were waiting for real knights, but do they fit modern and sometimes independent ladies? Let's figure out why there is a belief that if a man does not fight for a girl, then he does not love.

How effective is such psychology?

Surely you are a successful and self-confident girl, but as soon as you hear the phrase: “ if a man does not seek a girl - he does not love her”, then you just shrug your shoulders and you can’t object to anything. Can you even define what it means to seek a girl? Maybe you can imagine pictures of how he belligerently cracks down on all the fans, proving that he is the strongest male, or showers your porch with a million scarlet roses, only you forget that your man is not a professional boxer at all, and his salary is not allows you to buy expensive gifts.

Or here's a more realistic example, you swear with your loved one, and on mutual initiative, and you part. You sit and wait for a conciliatory step from him, not because he is more to blame, but why? Because he is a man and everyone around you echoes that he should seek you. Only you forget that a man also has pride (and sometimes even in larger quantities than ours) through which they really do not like to step over. Or do you need a man-rag who will run to you at the first call, like a dog? You already decide.

And here you are sitting waiting for when he comes to put up, but he does not come and you think that since he does not fight for your love, then you do not need such a man. And you set off in search of another man, but it turns out that the next ones are in no way superior to your ex, because there are no ideals. And in general, men in our country can’t be thrown around so easily, if you constantly put obstacles in his way and demand initiative, then he will find another with whom he will be more comfortable. So believe me, such psychology is simply ineffective in the 21st century! You must understand that relationships are always built by two people, and if you yourself do not invest anything in building your house of relationships, then no matter how strong a man is, your house will fall apart under the weight of any obstacle.

When you truly love, you will try to please your beloved, and not wait until they seek only you. But if my words have not yet convinced you, and you are still going to wait for the initiative from a man, sitting on the couch, then I wish you good luck ... and patience for at least a few years ahead!

Put yourself in the shoes of a man

Have you ever wondered why this is happening? Women have been fighting for their independence for a very long time, achieving gender equality, but now that equality has come, something does not suit us again. Now let's look at it from a man's point of view.

From birth, a man has a lot of responsibilities: to protect his mother and sister, then to achieve his girlfriend, earn a lot of money, build a house, raise a son, this list is endless. It is possible for us, the weaker sex, in case of failure, to hide in a corner and cry, but for a man it is shame and disgrace. No, I do not at all want to free a man from his direct duties and put him on a par with a woman. Not at all, I just want you to imagine that men sometimes have a very hard time in this world, and then you come to him, seek me and that's it, and I'll see how you do it.

But since we defended the equality of the male and female sexes in this way, then automatically men can now be a little less decisive and not always be the first to take the initiative. It is not at all humiliating to be the first to write to a man, invite him on a date, give a compliment, be the first to kiss or be the first to make up.

Yes, of course it's nice to see when a man pays attention to you, takes care of you and expresses his feelings. But if he does not act the way you want it, this does not give you the right to say that he does not love you and does nothing for the relationship. This position is very selfish. After all, a man does something, tries to please you (albeit rarely, but he tries), and you only make claims to him, so he will generally lose the desire to do something.

If something does not suit you, sit down and calmly talk to him, without presenting ultimatums, say that you want a little more attention, for sure he will understand and hear you. Well, even if after such a conversation his attitude does not change, then you will either have to accept him as he is, or look for a new man, because it is difficult to change an adult. And do not forget to sometimes give in to your beloved, he will definitely appreciate it.

Yesterday, a former classmate came to me, so to speak, to “pour out her soul” and ask for professional advice. Her relationship with her common-law husband has completely gone wrong, she only plays the role of a housewife, there is no question of love, gifts and confessions. There are suspicions that he is dating another woman (or women). Together they live almost three years.

When I asked about how their relationship began, how he courted, how he behaved, she replied that he did not court her! We met, then it quickly came to the bed, and then (also very quickly) she moved in with him and they began to live together. Moreover, the man does not live alone, but with a 10-year-old son. In fact, he needed a housewife who would put the house in order, look after her son and take care of them (this is to be honest).

He simply brought her to his house, he does not intend to marry (he is already satisfied with everything, as he says), he has other women on the side, and my girlfriend is simply convenient for him. Unfortunately, this is the truth of life. This man could not fall in love with her, because he did not seek her, did not invest anything in her, did not try her. She herself presented everything to him on a silver platter, and quickly and immediately. The hunter had not even had time to load his gun yet, and the prey had already come running by itself and lay down under his feet. And at the moment it is very difficult to correct the situation, it would be easier to initially behave differently. Understanding the rules of the romantic game is the most important thing in relationships with men.

How to make a man chase you

It is important that a man seek a woman. And so it was from time immemorial - in order to achieve the location of a woman, a man had to make an effort. Women portrayed an "impregnable fortress", and men had to attack this fortress, showing courage, ingenuity and perseverance. The problem is that in our time this subtle science is almost forgotten. And that is why there are so many divorces and unhappy couples, because men and women do not have the opportunity to play their natural role and enjoy it. A very small part of women today "play by the rules", enjoy relationships with men and enjoy their attention. The other, much larger part, are at a loss and do not understand what, after all, these men need and why their personal life will not improve in any way.

Emancipation radically changed the outer side of the relationship between a man and a woman. Many women do not understand at all why they should move away from a man and force him to seek her if she is madly in love with him and he is the man of her dreams. But these rules are created by nature itself and are written in our genetic code, while the rules of the sexual revolution and emancipation are invented by people and are written only in books, newspapers and magazines.

A man likes to woo a woman!

Even if at the same time they say that they do not like games and they are not at all interested in seeking a woman, when it comes down to it, they instantly join the game and they like it. And they, like women, also enjoy this game. Such a game gives them the opportunity to amuse their pride, and also to understand whether he really likes this woman so much.

And, most importantly, this gives him the opportunity to follow his masculine nature - to be active. A man starts his hunt, plans, acts and gets the desired result. An easy victory is quickly forgotten, since it gives little pleasure. And what he went for a long time and stubbornly pursued will bring him a sense of his own power and great joy.

Imagine that you decide to enjoy some delicious dish. Even without touching it, you are already in anticipation of pleasure, and then you get pleasure, savoring every bite. And imagine that I will offer you this dish, but only encapsulated, like a medicine. No need to waste time eating it, just swallowed the capsule and that's it, the dish is already in your stomach. You do not want? And why? And because when you swallow it instantly, you will not be able to feel its taste. Also with relationships. A man can feel their taste only with a gradual approach.

A man is biologically irresistibly attracted to a woman, slowing down his progress towards the goal, a woman gives time to turn what is happening between two biological units into a Relationship between two People. Playing inaccessibility is a must, of course, if you want make a man chase you. This will help the man to invest more in the relationship and appreciate you. When he has to work hard for a relationship, they will become valuable to him, and he will cherish them.

Playing impregnable does not mean showing coldness and complete indifference. When you mistreat a man and ignore him, this is not a game of impregnability. This is stupidity that will not bring the desired result. Only those men who do not value themselves at all will be with you. It is necessary to demonstrate not coldness and "abstruseness", but the joy of communication and lightness. Respect the man and treat him well. Sincerely thank him for what he does for you, and then he will love you even more.

It is important to take your time and not commit yourself only to this man after three dates or after the first intimacy. No need to quickly confess your love to him, say that you are crazy about him and are just waiting for his call, around the clock on duty near the phone. Always remember that as soon as a man realizes that you are completely in his hands, he will begin to get used to you, as to his usual environment, and the process of conquest and courtship will end there.

He should like the process of conquering your heart, so give him portions of tenderness and mercy unexpectedly, thereby inspiring him to even greater feats. Flirt with him, play, you can read about this in detail in the article. When he suddenly weakens his attention to you, do not start chasing and catching up with him. If a man is really interested in you, he will be there and will think about how to win your heart.

The main, one might say, the most important principle of the game of inaccessibility is "light starvation". Always leave a man a little hungry. Don't let him "overeat" you. Do not overfeed him with your care and love, keep a small distance and keep space for his maneuvers.

Spend quality time with a man, putting all your charm and inner warmth into communication with him. Do not hide from him that you need him and that you feel good with him. But at the same time, always leave him a little hungry. End the conversation on time and leave on time too. That is, when he is at the peak of joy and pleasure, and not when the peak has already passed and he involuntarily begins to think about when you will finally leave so that he can relax and think.

Relationships that have had a long period of courtship are stronger and more durable than fast-paced relationships. It is important to go through all the stages, and not just merge with each other physically. And do not try to please a man and do what you absolutely do not like. Pleasing will not lead you to love and happiness. Take a step towards a man only when he has taken two steps towards you. That is, take only retaliatory steps, and do not step on it actively and aggressively.

And always remember that if you run after a man, he will definitely run away from you. As soon as you turn around and run away from him, he will also turn around and run after you. Of course, if he needs you and if he has sympathy and feelings for you. And if you don't run, then don't. So, all your life you would only do that you ran after him and tried to hold him. And in the end, he would have run away anyway, and you would have wasted your health and years of life.

Love easily and be loved! And let men conquer you and perform feats for you! And in order to get to know their psychology better, I advise you to read R. Rezepov's book “The Truth About Men, Which Most Women Don't Know”. You can download the book Here .

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Understanding the rules of the romantic game is the most important thing in relationships with the opposite sex. So why is it important that a man woo you? From time immemorial, it has been customary that a man makes efforts to achieve the location of a woman. Women have always been taught to portray an impregnable fortress, men - to take this fortress by storm.

But in our time, this subtle science is almost forgotten. And only those few women who inherited female wisdom from mothers and grandmothers enjoy male attention and enjoy relationships with men. Most of the women are at a loss and randomly looking for the rules of the game with men.

Emancipation and the sexual revolution radically changed the external side of relations between the sexes. Often women do not understand why they should force a man to achieve them if they themselves are already head over heels in love and only dream about him. And the thing is that these rules of the ancient Game were invented by nature and recorded in our genetic code, and the rules of emancipation and sexual revolution were invented by man only recently and are recorded only in old newspapers.

Why do men like to woo women?

There are several reasons for this. Often men say (and they are sure that they really think so) that they do not want to pursue a woman and do not like games. but when it comes down to it, it turns out that they love and how! When a woman does everything right, a man gets no less pleasure from this Game. And now I will tell you how to do it right.

Men like to achieve for two main reasons: to amuse their vanity and to understand whether he really likes this girl so much. But the real reason why a woman plays impregnable and a man pursues her lies even deeper.

Man's nature is to be active.

A man is a hero, a conqueror of material nature, a breadwinner. He plans, acts and gets results. An easy victory gives little pleasure and is quickly forgotten, but what he went for a long time and stubbornly sought to bring great joy and pride, a sense of his own power.

Now imagine a situation where you are planning something that brings pleasure not as a result, but in the process. For example, eat ice cream. What if I offer you ice cream in a gelatin capsule as a medicine? It can be swallowed and not waste time eating - it is immediately in the stomach. Why don't you want my ice cream, is it so delicious? Because, with instant swallowing, it is impossible to feel the taste.

Also, a man can feel the taste of a relationship with a woman only with a gradual rapprochement. Biology irresistibly attracts a man to a woman. By slowing down the progress of the man towards the goal, the woman gives time for the transformation of what is happening between two biological units into a Relationship between two Humans.

Should I play impregnable?

The answer is definitely yes! This helps the man appreciate both you and the relationship more. When relationships for him are a value for which he had to work hard, he will cherish them, and not look at the side, he will think about how to keep them and how to please you.

So how do you play this game?

If you are interested in a good relationship with developmental potential, do not rush to devote yourself to him only after three dates or after the first sex. Don't tell him that you're crazy about him or that you're looking forward to his call. As soon as a man feels that you are completely in his hands, he will begin to get used to you, as to his usual environment, and courtship will end there.

So that he likes the process of conquering your heart, give him portions of mercy and tenderness unexpectedly, this will inspire him to great feats. For example, an unexpected passionate text or a spontaneous kiss is a good way to show that you like him and you appreciate and accept his advances. But if you do it regularly and predictably, then it will quickly become boring and turn into a routine. I talk about how to learn a smile, for which a man is ready for anything and how to master that notorious game of eyes, I tell and show on video examples in my course.

Do not start chasing him if he suddenly weakened his attention to you. If a man is really interested in you, and not in one-time sex (for which there is no point in wasting time), he will remain close to you, as he receives signs of your disposition from you. When a man is interested in a relationship, and not in one-time sex, he will think about how to win your heart.

When you ignore a man or treat him badly, this is not a game of impregnability. This is stupidity and rudeness, which will never bring a good result. Only a man who does not value himself at all will remain nearby. Respect the man who woo you and treat him well. Thank him and appreciate everything he does for you. He will love you even more for it.

The basic principle of the game of impregnability

If you want the Game to be enjoyable for the two of you and also to lead to a relationship, remember the basic principle. Always leave him a little hungry. Spending time with him, put all your warmth, charm and enthusiasm into communication. Do not hide that you feel good next to him.

Studies have shown that relationships that have had a long period of courtship are much less likely to break up compared to relationships that developed rapidly. It is important not to play this Game blindly following the words and rules written somewhere. Understand the principles of communication and interaction between a man and a woman, because only a deep understanding of the hidden dynamics of relationships will give you the ability to navigate and choose successful tactics in your specific and completely unique situation.

There is a widespread belief that the more actively a man seeks a woman, the more important she is for him.

Say, if he sang serenades under the windows and filled up the entrance with flowers, it means that he appreciates the young lady more than life and is ready to get out of his skin for her sake. Why such sacrifices? Right?

Well, not quite.

Deficiency blinds the eyes

Social psychology shows us that such behavior of a man may well be caused by a completely different reason - deficiency. Studies show that deficiency has a downright stupefying effect on people.

First, for some reason, a limited offer seems to us more desirable than an offer without limits.

If we hear that something is “not enough”, we begin to want it more.

For example, a unique work of art is worth more than the same in quality and workmanship, but existing in several identical copies.

Secondly, if there was a lot of something before, but now it is not enough, then we begin to appreciate the deficit that has arisen and are ready to pay more for the rest.

For example, if we find out that in the next few weeks the delivery of our favorite sweets is not expected, we immediately want to buy more of them (although we are unlikely to eat them).

Thirdly, if there is less of something due to increased demand, we actively want this “something” for ourselves.

Let's say we can be aggressive at a sale because we understand that if we don't use our elbows, everything will be sold out without us.

The most interesting thing here is that - all these effects increase the desire to possess, own, own. But for some reason they do not lead to an increase in the pleasure of using.

That is, we could fall for advertising and buy a product that is “on discount only until tomorrow, there are only thirty pieces in stock, they are sold out very quickly.” But if we are asked if this product is getting better than the rest, we will answer - no, it does not.

We only wanted to own it because it was in short supply. And when the frenzy of the deficit passes, we understand that the value of this product is the same as that of others (similar, of course).

As you can see, all of this applies to humans as well.

If a girl is impregnable, she limits her "offer". If a man knows that he has a rival, he understands that the “demand” for a girl is increased.

But when this man “wins” this girl, it turns out that she is, in general, the same as everyone else. And what was important to win, to master, but no more.

And the man goes to conquer new heights.

Therefore, the strategy "I will be cold and unapproachable as long as possible" leads to completely opposite results - it attracts only those men who, for some reason, need a victory. Relationships, as you know, they do not need at all.

Justification of choice

Curiously, there is another process - when the choice is made without pressure. When a person bought something just because he wanted to.

For example, in the store there were three more or less identical teapots. The man thought for a while, then took one of them. Just because I decided to choose this particular one, and not because the seller pressed with a shortage or something like that.

In this case, everything is quite the opposite - a person begins to justify his choice. He exaggerates the positive aspects of the purchased kettle and downplays the positive aspects of the rest of the appliances.

Why does a person do this? Because he needs to justify his choice.

It's easy to choose when one is noticeably better than the other - but what about when everything is more or less the same? Hard…

Here, in order not to be a fool who took nonsense, a person begins to look for more and more pluses in the current choice and more and more minuses in the rejected alternatives.

As you can see, all this applies to people as well (it's just that you can't experiment on them for ethical reasons).

If a man chose a woman because he liked her and nothing else, he will increase her attractiveness in his eyes. And the attractiveness of the rest will be reduced. And will do this as long as the relationship is strong.

In other words, in this case, the man will rejoice not in the possession of a woman, but in relations with her. A noticeable difference compared to a shortage situation.

Some Conclusions

Of course, people are not sweets or teapots, and relationships are not a one-time purchase. People change, relationships are the same, there are ups and downs, a transition to a different quality, and so on. But the fundamental principles do not change, so there is nowhere to go - we need to draw conclusions from what we know about our psyche.

Obviously, if a woman chooses a scarcity strategy, she needs to be scarce all the time. Simply put, about once a week to show a man that she is slipping away from him.

How long can a man stand in this mode, even the biggest lover of possession? The question is generally rhetorical.

If a woman simply approaches a man, gradually, step by step, without jumps and losing her head, there is a high probability of building a strong relationship in which the man will actively convince himself of the abundance of positive moments in a woman.

Of course, all this works in the opposite direction - women are just as susceptible to scarcity as men. And just like men, they strive to justify their choice. There are no gender differences in this area, only individual ones.

Total. The “I am a deficit” strategy leads to the fact that a person is beginning to be seen as a prize to be owned, but nothing more. It is unlikely that this is very beneficial for health and life in general.

It is better to approach slowly and carefully, then the chances of a pleasant and lasting relationship increase significantly.