Service. More about relationships

Does an office romance have a right to exist? For decades, people have been discussing the topic of office romances at work.

The topic is also relevant in our time, because employees spend most of their time at work, begin to show sympathy for colleagues, strong feelings often arise that encourage them to create a family, and some may use a leader or subordinate for their own selfish purposes.

You can talk a lot about the pros and cons of such relationships, it all depends on the specific situation, on the conditions at work and on the team. Let's analyze such relationships using real life examples.

Olya's office romance:

My name is Olya. After graduating from the economics department of the university, I started looking for a job. I sent resumes to various financial institutions, went to interviews. By that time, she had broken up with her boyfriend and spent weekend evenings with friends in various clubs.

There I met Maxim, who was 5 years older than me, we had sympathy, an office romance began. One day I received a call from the personnel department of a commercial bank and was invited for an interview, after which I was offered a job as an economist in one of the branches.

When I arrived at my workplace on the first day, I was shocked - the head of that department was Maxim, and I was his subordinate. He was not the same as I knew him, he was dismissive of employees and customers, forcing other girls to make coffee for him and wash cups after him.

I learned that earlier he had an office romance with another employee. I could no longer meet and work with him as well ...

Fortunately, a similar vacancy appeared in another department, to which I was transferred. The leader there was a woman, the team was friendly, and I was able to work in a relaxed atmosphere.

The situation that developed with Olya was such that the romance became official due to the fact that the circumstances were such, it did not last long, but the consequences were negative.

Very often, men who initiate romances with colleagues actually hide their real character and nature, often also their marital status. Many managers, taking advantage of their high official position, violate all the rules of corporate ethics and subordination.

After the end of a romantic relationship, it becomes unbearable for two people to work in the same team. In many structures, it is forbidden for spouses to work if there is a certain subordination of one position to another or a connection.

In such cases, there is a possibility of dishonest abuse of one's duties, the pursuit of family goals, the cause of conflict situations that affect work efficiency.

The history of Alina's office romance

When I got a job at a new job, I had been dating a guy for 5 years. We were comfortable together, but he did not propose to marry. The structure of the organization is rather big - about 100 people and is divided into departments.

At a corporate party on the occasion of the New Year, I met the head of the IT department, Oleg. He was a bachelor and turned out to be an interesting person. After always quickly troubleshooting my computer, when other employees often waited half a day, our IT department was actually very busy with work.

Once he invited me for coffee with lunch, a few days later - for dinner. Everything got to the point that I broke up with my boyfriend, who did not show initiative in our relationship, and I did not see a future with him.

A year later I married Oleg, colleagues were happy for us. We practically don’t see each other all day long, we sit in different offices, and at the same time we have a lot in common, we go to lunch together, so we don’t have time to get bored with each other.

This situation and an office romance that has grown into love is positive in that there is no subordination of the leader-subordinate, otherwise the reaction of senior management or colleagues could be different.

Often couples who have been dating for several years diverge due to the fact that they become uninteresting, there is no diversity and romance. And spending most of the time at work leads to the emergence of interest in employees of the opposite sex, who can be more decisive and proactive in terms of relationships.

For women, such relationships, as in the example of Alina and Oleg, have the advantage that jealousy and distrust of each other decreases, there is an opportunity to see your loved one at any time.

It is important to maintain the norms of behavior and not arrange erotic scenes or hot kisses in the corners or in the elevator, this will immediately cause unpleasant impressions and condemnation from other employees, the main thing to remember is: at work - think about work and the result, outside of it - give free rein to feelings and emotions .

Condemnation of colleagues is caused by office romances of married employees. After such situations, most often the female half of humanity becomes ashamed, unpleasant and unbearable to work.

Men rarely leave their families, and women at work can become just a temporary hobby, so you should be careful when choosing.

Office Romance - Life Stories

2015, . All rights reserved.

Until recently, everything was calm and wonderful, until our boss changed. It has long been rumored that I am his mistress and sleep with him

It was Thursday. I sat in my office and looked through the documents in which my desktop was buried. It was necessary to deal with them urgently, as the weekend was approaching. I dedicated them entirely to my little son.

There was a knock on the door. A dazzling blonde came in, my boss's secretary. This girl, although she had some education, but good manners were completely absent, since I had never heard the word “Hello” from her.

- Chief calls immediately.

Saying that, she turned around and left. And for some time I sat and thought about why our leadership needed me. Various thoughts swirled in my head.

I work for a large publishing house, I head one of its departments. Until recently, everything was calm and wonderful, until we changed our boss.

Pavel Nikolaevich, that's the name of my new boss, appeared at the publishing house three months ago. He turned the entire publishing house upside down, gutted all the departments and, to everyone's deep surprise, was dissatisfied. He then promptly called a meeting and outlined new ways of working. Of course, these were not cardinal changes, but the publishing house has since lost its peace and has become like a hive of wild bees.

“Love at first sight” didn’t work out with me. Pavel Nikolaevich from the first days began to find fault and criticize the work of my department, and undeservedly. On this occasion, we often had disputes with him, which did not lead to anything other than misunderstanding.

But our large sorority just went crazy with the new boss. Somehow they saw in him "a charming, elegant and sexy man." All sorts of conversations, rumors, and just gossip about him and his personal life went around the publishing house every now and then. The main news among unmarried ladies was that he was an inveterate bachelor. And no doubt everyone hoped that she would be the one who could “cure” her boss from this terrible disease.

Yes, they would have my problems ...

Once again, I gathered my courage and left the office. In the corridor I met my friend Katya.

Are you with the boss? Calls again?

I nodded defiantly.

- Well, you are happy! That's lucky! You should be happy, but you don't have a face.

She hugged me by the shoulders.
- You know, all our ladies would like to be in your place, to go to his office like this every day and stay alone with him for a long time.

– Are you kidding?

Katya laughed.

- There are already all sorts of gossip about you, they talk like that ...

I was surprised and embarrassed at the same time.

- If he spoiled their nerves every morning like me, they would not think so.

We went to the chief's office.

- Sasha, take a closer look at him, maybe ...

I perfectly understood what Katya was hinting at, so I didn’t let her finish and quickly entered the office.

Pavel Nikolaevich was sitting at the table and leafing through some papers. In response to my greeting, he muttered something under his breath and, without raising his head, continued to go about his business. Three minutes passed before he deigned to turn his attention to me.

- Alexandra Vladimirovna, sit down. Sorry for making you wait.

I immediately sat down, because I knew from the experience accumulated in a short time that a long conversation was coming.

- And so, Alexandra Vladimirovna, I called you to consult and hear your opinion on some issues that concern me.

Has a miracle happened? I didn't believe my ears. It was very hard for me to stop smiling.

- I'm listening to you.

... Leaving the office of Pavel Nikolaevich, I spent the whole day running through the publishing house, fulfilling a very urgent order. Toward the end of the working day, Katya came to see me.

- I've been looking for you all day. Where are you running?

- Placed an order. Pavel Nikolaevich asked to personally check it.

She smiled slyly.

- Since when - Pavel Nikolaevich ... personally ...

I didn't pay attention to her jokes.

“I really can’t understand what happened. Imagine, Katya, this morning for the first time he was interested in my opinion about the work of the publishing house. We worked very fruitfully with him on some issues.

I thought about it, but my girlfriend did not let up.

- Finally, he saw in you both a professional and a woman, moreover, a beautiful, kind, smart, lonely ...

Since that day, work has become a pleasure for me. With Pavel Nikolayevich, we quite easily found a common language, or rather, it was he who ceased to find fault with my work for no reason. What happened, and why he so suddenly changed his attitude towards me, I did not understand. I’ll make a reservation right away that we had only purely business relations with him, although rumors had long been circulating around the publishing house that I was his mistress and that I was sleeping with him in order to achieve a promotion.

At first, I was very worried about this and often upset. But Katya convinced me not to pay attention to all this nonsense and not to waste my nerves. She just couldn't understand why nothing really happened between Pavel Nikolayevich and me. At such moments, I was ready to just kill her.

Pavel Nikolaevich after some time in the publishing house became his own man. His straightforwardness, tact and excellent sense of humor won the respect of all subordinates. I think that the friction that arose at the beginning between him and all of us is nothing but acclimatization in a new team. After all, he could not find a common language and understanding not only with me. It's good that everything returned to normal and the work "boiled".

At Katya's insistence, I tried to look at my boss as a man, that is, "with different eyes." But either my upbringing, or the working environment created by him, did not allow me to do this. And besides, I have heard more than once about the dire consequences of office romances: they never led to anything good.

One summer, during my vacation, I was returning from my parents to my home. On the way I went to the supermarket, as there was nothing in the refrigerator except bananas and sausages for a long time. I took the basket and began to slowly wander between the shelves with products.

Having filled the basket with everything I needed, I went to the checkout, and suddenly one man attracted my attention. He stood in the vegetable department and thoughtfully looked for something. When he turned to face me, my basket almost fell out of my hands, I was so stunned. Well, I didn’t expect to meet Pavel Nikolaevich in the store! And it was just him - so indecisive and so charming.

I wanted to remain unnoticed, but the eyes of my boss had time to cast their eyes on me and in an instant nailed me in place. He looked inquiringly, and I had no choice but to approach him.

Hello, Alexandra Vladimirovna. It's good that I met you here. Will you help me?

He was in a great mood, a charming smile shone on his face. It was unusual and so real I saw him for the first time.

- Good evening. How can I help?

He showed his empty basket.

- Yes, I decided to cook cabbage soup, but I don’t know what I need for this.

I was surprised.

– Pavel Nikolayevich, do you cook for yourself?

It was obvious that he was embarrassed.

- Not much, if you can call scrambled eggs with sausage a dish.

We smiled at each other.

- And I thought that your ...

I stopped short because I didn't know if he had a woman or what to call her. But he understood my train of thought.

I cook for myself because I live alone.

And not wanting to talk more on this topic, he asked.

- Alexandra Vladimirovna, what is needed to cook cabbage soup? Well, of course, not counting the cabbage, I know that.

I helped him choose the products. When we left the store, Pavel Nikolaevich began to ask me how the soup was prepared. It turned out that he knew nothing about it either. It was very funny for me: I stood in the middle of the street and explained to my boss how to cook cabbage soup. I'll tell Katya - she won't believe it!

- So, first we throw potatoes and tomatoes ...

- No. Potatoes come first, then cabbage, and tomatoes at the very end.

My patience was running out. I've been explaining to him for twenty minutes, but it's all to no avail: he either confuses the ingredients, or forgets something else. Then a thought struck me.

- Pavel Nikolaevich, let me write it down for you on paper? It will be easier and clearer.

For a while he thought, and then, with such a face, as if he was lit up with a brilliant idea, he said that he had no paper with him. To be honest, I didn't like this whole situation.

“Then I don’t know what to do… Maybe some other time…”

Pavel Nikolaevich quickly found something to say to this.

- Alexandra Vladimirovna, let's go to visit me, will you teach me how to cook soup?

I didn't know whether to be happy about it or upset. And what was happening, I did not understand at all. The clock showed nine in the evening.

“Isn’t it too late, Pavel Nikolayevich?”

He thought for a while.

- Maybe someone is waiting for you, but I'm just a fool to delay? Sorry…

Oh, this was all I needed! Well, the evening turned out! Went down, called the store.

- Okay, let's go. I hope you are a diligent student?

Pavel Nikolayevich only smiled enigmatically at me.

His apartment surprised me. Not only was it huge and tastefully furnished, it was also very tidy. I walked around the rooms and, like a little girl, was amazed at everything. I would not say that a bachelor lives here: the master's hand and care were felt in everything. I was surprised and even very.

After the soup was cooked, we sat in the kitchen and drank coffee.

- Alexandra Vladimirovna, can we switch to "you"? After all, we're not at work.

- I agree, Pavel Nikol ...

I didn't finish, I didn't know what to call him.

- Let's just Pavel, and even better - Pasha.

Either a lot of coffee was drunk, or we were so pleased in each other's company, but we chatted until late at night.

- And yet, Alexandra, is there a person who is waiting for you, who is not indifferent to you?

The moment of truth had arrived, but I had nothing to hide.

- There is. This is my son Nikita.

Pavel perked up.

- So are you married?

I smiled bitterly, remembering my ex and everything connected with him.

- Not. Been divorced for three years now. He turned out to be a bastard: he dumped me when I was eight months pregnant. Nikita never saw him again. Maybe it's for the better.

It was very unpleasant for me to talk about it, and the time was late. I asked Pavel to take me home, to which he agreed only on the condition that we would meet again one of these days.

Just like that, a crazy romance began between us. We liked each other, albeit not at first sight, deliberately and with full responsibility, we fell in love with each other. Everything happened somehow by itself, we were overwhelmed by a stormy river, along which we swam without resistance to its flow.

Katya was speechless when I told her about Pavel Nikolayevich and me. She, of course, was happy for me, but still she did not expect that I would ever deign to pay attention to this man.

- How does he feel about Nikita? Have you told him everything?

– Katya, of course, about everything, but they haven’t seen each other yet. Nikita is watched by his parents, he is constantly with them, but this has nothing to do with Pavel. You know, I work from morning to evening, and there is no one to leave him at home with.

I thought. I haven't felt this good in a long time.

- Pavel would be an ideal father for Nikita.

- Right. And also for some little chubby girl very much like you.

We looked at each other and laughed.

What I feared did not happen: our romance did not prevent us from working together. I, as it should be, remained his subordinate, and he was my boss. We loved our work very much and respected each other, so there could be no frivolities between us at the workplace.

Pasha waited for me every day after work, drove me home or to my parents, and we spent the weekends together. We walked around the city, went to the cinema and kissed on the last row, and in the park, like little children, we rode all the rides.

Once, one of those days, he asked why I wasn't taking Nikita with us. And I was just waiting for this, because I didn’t want to impose someone else’s child on him.

Let's do this: on Sunday you take Nikita and we meet in the park. Let's take a walk and eat ice cream together. Good?

As a sign of consent, I simply kissed him.

The upcoming meeting was a little exciting for me: the two men I love will see each other for the first time. But a lot depends on the first impression. And even though Nikitka is still very small and understands almost nothing, I would not want to hurt his tiny heart in any way.

Sunday was hot. Nikita and I walked in the park and waited for Pavel, who was soon to join us. The kid has been riding a children's car for about ten minutes now and all the time he called me to see how he skillfully manages it. Soon the ride time was over and we went to the tent to buy some drinks.

I bought two small packs of juice and stepped aside.

- Nikita, take your juice.

There was no answer, and no one took the juice. I looked around me - there was no child nearby. Panic seized me, I suddenly became short of breath. Feverishly, I began to look around the park and people, but there were so many of them that my eyes began to ripple.

“Mommy, is this your child?”

I turned around and saw a smiling Pasha, next to whom, holding his hand, was my son. It eased my heart.

“God, how worried I was!” Nikita, you can't leave your mother a single step!

But he did not listen to me, took my hand and led me back to the children's car. We put him on the ride and stepped aside.

- Hi dear. How do you?

Pavel put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple.

- I got scared. Where did you find him? How did you know it was my child?

- It's simple: I was watching you when you were buying juice, Nikita, feeling free, ran to the attraction, then I intercepted him.

I took a deep breath.

“You were there just in time. What would I do without you?

He took my hand and pulled me towards him.

- Sasha, now I will always be there.

I saw my reflection in his gray-blue eyes.

1. “I was the hostess, and he was the director of the restaurant. We flirted a lot, and all our communication had a sexual connotation. One day I came to his house, and everything turned out so that we quickly ended up in bed. We agreed to keep it a secret. The next day at work, everything was as usual. But I was a little ashamed, so I told my colleague about everything. She said it's all right. And then I found out that she had been dating the boss for a long time, and that's why he wanted to keep this incident a secret! In general, I had to leave my job,” Anna, 24 years old.
2. “I had an affair with my boss at a New Year's party (how corny!). We flirted all night, and when everyone left, we sat and talked for a long time. I asked him several times if he really needed it, because he had a wife and children. He said yes, and we took a taxi to my place. The sex was terrible. I thought I made a terrible mistake and ruined my career. He texted me a couple of days later and I replied that I didn't want to repeat everything. He took everything fine, but this made our relationship strange, we began to avoid each other. I was worried and didn't say anything to anyone. I left my job after a couple of months. Now it all looks funny, but I definitely don’t want a repetition, ”- Lera, 27 years old.
3. “My colleague and I were the same age, and the more we talked, the better I understood that we had a lot in common. We began to spend lunch breaks together, went for walks and became closer. But we were both in a relationship at the time, so no one made the first move. One day he started texting me saying that he always admired me. I answered the same. He said that he was unhappy in a relationship, and I was unhappy in mine, and we began to flirt. We began to stay late at work to be alone. Then I changed jobs, we stopped talking and realized that we were unhappy because of this. Now we are officially together, he told his colleagues about this, and no one was surprised, everyone was very happy for us, ”- Nastya, 22 years old.
4. “I met with the commercial director of the company where I trained. At first I thought that everything would be wild and wonderful, but who knew that seven years later we would live together and plan a wedding! And we both still work there,” Alena, 30 years old.
5. “My colleague and I were working on a promotional case that was supposed to be handed in tomorrow, and we stayed late. We already communicated closely, so everything happened by itself. It was great, plus we made up all sorts of sexy jokes and made fun of them. And then he transferred to an office in another city, and it was all over. I think if I stayed, it would be great, ”Veronika, 25 years old.
6. “I had an affair with a colleague, and we retired to the bathroom. Once we were caught by the boss when we had sex at the sink. I didn’t have any underwear on, my colleague was without pants, and the boss’s surprised scream was heard, probably, by the whole office. I changed my job and I'm not going to start romances with employees anymore! — Olya, 27 years old.
7. “In the restaurant business, novels by colleagues are practically the norm. With one guy, we often had drinks after work, and once we made love in the car. It was a secret. Then I went through a medical examination and found out that I had HPV. I asked him about it (Note that there are no tests for HPV in men yet. — Note. ed.). In addition, it turned out that he was dating another of our colleagues! In general, then we communicated only on work issues, ”Vera, 24 years old.
8. “He pushed wedges against me for quite some time, and at some point we began a passionate romance, which we hid from everyone. But one day I accidentally found him on social networks and saw that all this time he was dating another woman! I immediately cut off all ties, he tried to return me, I had to send me to hell, ”- Larisa, 27 years old.
9. “I work for a pharmaceutical company, and one day a colleague and I fell in love with each other and started dating. Six months later, the boss noticed this and told literally everyone. The people joked and forgot, but we are still together!” - Anya, 26 years old.

I am 32 years old, I work in a budgetary organization in a good position. Another person works in the same organization, which will be discussed below.

When I saw him for the first time, I didn’t like him very much, I can even say that he just annoyed me. And he seemed to be attracted to me. There were not enough chairs at the corporate party, and he sat down with me on my own chair, and I jumped up and quickly left. And one day when I came to work in the morning I saw that he was sitting at my workplace. I spoke to him so rudely that he didn’t come in for a month, it made me happy.

I don’t remember the moment when I changed my attitude towards him, but it happened a little over a year ago. When my employee went on vacation, he was constantly in my office, I worked on the site, he climbed the Internet, we went to lunch together. He became very dear: every morning he kissed me on the cheek, during the day he could also kiss and hug me. I treated him the same way. He was very supportive of me at work, prompted. At corporate parties, we always danced the first dance together. Moreover, everyone could stare at us, I could mutter something in his ear, he smiled.

In September last year, we had another party. He didn't drink, and I drank a little and told him that he was in charge of getting me home. He agreed, called me a taxi and paid for it himself. When we were sitting near the restaurant and waiting for the car, he kind of asked “maybe steal you?”, I answered “steal”, and then he said “I’m not sure, I don’t want to lose what we have now.”

At the corporate party for the new year, he drank a lot and constantly entering the hall, looking for me, having found me, he hugged me. We could just stand there. When the site bus arrived at night, and it was possible to go home on it, I said that I would go, because I didn’t know how I would get home later (although I didn’t intend to leave, I said on purpose). He did not let me in, said that we would spend the night together and that tomorrow he would take me to work. It pissed me off: he's drunk, I'm sober and I can control myself, and when I'm drunk, I don't need anything. So I just started dancing with another man, the evening ended with the fact that when he saw me with another employee, he came up, pinched me on the back, sighed and left. His reaction made me laugh.

Most of all, what finishes me off in him is that he is a favorite of women and constantly pinches someone, then climbs where he doesn’t need to. We had another party last Friday. We sailed on a boat to the island and back. He and I drank a lot. We had a new employee, he just didn’t leave her, it hurt me as usual, but I couldn’t do anything - we were nobody to each other, just employees, so I just forced a smile out of the site. When everyone was sitting at the table, I simply couldn’t eat or drink anymore, I went to the water, then I hear him running towards me, hugging me. I don’t remember exactly how and what exactly she said to him for that employee, but he answered me “don’t bother, baby, you’re still the best with me.”

In principle, after that I did not see him approach her. And when we came back, we lay with him on the bow of the boat and just talked. I talked about how tired and hard it was for me at work, that he had changed a lot when he took a different position and how good it was for me now. He said that he did not want to go home and that he would rent an apartment for us for the night. He didn't ask me if I wanted it, and I didn't run away. When they got off the boat, he could not find an apartment for a long time, but he was very persistent. At some point, I thought that he would give up this idea, but he did find her website.

We arrived there, there was no embarrassment between us, it seems that this is not the first time we have been together. Most of all I was afraid of what would happen in the morning ...

In the morning we woke up quite early, somehow simultaneously opened our eyes and quickly closed them. He stretched out his arms to me, called me baby, crawled up and hugged me. A couple of hours later, someone called him and he replied, “No, not at home, when will I be? Haven't thought about it yet, better pick me up." His friend followed us for a long time, and we all hugged and dozed off. He kissed my hair, stroked my back.

Then we went to a cafe, I asked if he would take me home (well, you never know, maybe he doesn’t want to show me to a friend and call a taxi), he firmly said that he would take me. When we were sitting in a cafe, I said that I would like to swim and, as if thinking in a rumor, “should we go to the beach?”, To which he replied, “we will go, we will definitely go.” They took me home, he introduced me to a friend when I got out of the car, he also got out, the site hugged me, said “See you ... It would be better if we didn’t get up.”

We only saw each other on Monday. We pretend that nothing happened. It was very hard for me, I simply could not smile or talk to him. It's kind of stupid. Girlfriends say give him time to decide. What did you decide? And I? How about asking me? I don’t know if I want a relationship with him, whether I’m afraid of them or not ready, I know only one thing for sure: I want to go back that night, that morning, into his arms. Yesterday I just started to come to my senses, gradually behave as before. Want to hug, come up and hug, want to kiss, so to speak. But only discomfort inside. She also walked past the office, and he was in his repertoire, squeezing others.

Here we were sitting with a friend, talking, she knows him and about us, so she tried and didn’t remember, she never squeezed me, didn’t climb where she shouldn’t. Yes, a special relationship. I just don't know what to do with all this. talk? But I know myself, I don’t have the courage, and I don’t know what to say. We work together, if something is wrong, then how to look into the eyes?

I recently got a new job, where a boy drew attention to me almost immediately. A plump red-haired guy, 7 years older than me, he is kind, sympathetic, even cute in itself - only I don’t like him like a man. At first, he helped me figure out new computer programs, set something up there. Of course, I was grateful to him, but no more! It seems to me that he took it as a response to courtship.

The third day he invites me to go somewhere: either to take a walk, or to the cinema, or to sit in a cafe. I keep coming up with excuses. It’s somehow embarrassing for me to take it like that and declare: “I don’t like you, I won’t go anywhere with you.” In addition, he has a peculiarity - he almost does not hear and speaks incomprehensibly, he has been disabled since childhood. I'm afraid that if I openly refuse him like this, he will think that this is because of his shortcoming. I don't want to offend him!

I understand that I need to somehow clarify everything and finish with this. After all, it's not fair to him, because he hopes for something! I don't know how to say it without hurting your feelings.

I regret marriage

I am 25 years old, of which I have been married for 3 years. For the unloved man. I thought his love would be enough for a happy married life. After all, it is often said that the perfect couple is when one person loves, and the second allows himself to be loved ...

But, despite the fact that my husband doesn’t have a soul in me, doesn’t drink with men, doesn’t go to the left, after work he immediately goes home, I constantly lack something in our relationship. Or vice versa, just too much. Sometimes after work I get so emotionally exhausted that I just want to sit quietly, read a book or watch a movie. But do not talk with him about life or talk about your "unearthly love" when your head is full of other things!

And now, as luck would have it, a man appeared in my life who turned everything “upside down”. He is 5 years younger than me, he is studying at the institute and he certainly does not need my feelings. After all, I'm not some young and attractive classmate, I'm his German tutor! The neighbor asked me to pull the boy up for the exams, and I agreed. That's how we met.

I know that for me he should remain only a student and a child! But no matter how hard I try not to think about him, it only gets worse. And he, this wonderful boy, seems to like me too. Otherwise, why does he give me flowers and bombard me with messages on social networks?

At night, when my husband is sleeping, I go to another room, and, sometimes, I correspond with the guy on the Internet until the morning. Our communication has long gone beyond the boundaries of the "teacher-student" relationship, we are now best friends!

Yes, my behavior is unprofessional and terrible in relation to my spouse, but every day I am drawn to this boy more and more. There was a bond between us that I can't break. Why did I get married without love at all?! After all, everything could be different.

Business offer

Our relationship lasted 2 years. It all started right after school, and then, as we grew older, it turned out that we had different values ​​​​with him and, in general, we were not so similar, not such a couple. We broke up quickly and painlessly.

It's been about six months. To be honest, I hardly thought about it. Maybe because she wasn’t so strongly attached, there wasn’t that love, as it happens in melodramas, or maybe there was simply no time (I work, I study in absentia). And then, on New Year's Eve, he unexpectedly showed up and ... offered to marry him.

He was offered a promotion at work, a job at a branch of the company in France. An important condition is that he must be a family man, supposedly partners always pay attention to this, they trust him more, and in general - this way there are fewer problems when traveling abroad. Actually, he offers me to become his wife and go with him.

He himself presents it more like a business proposal. On the one hand, I like it, because it's a great chance to go to live in another country and new career opportunities, and it's just quite prestigious. On the other hand, I should live with him and sleep in the same bed! We will be a couple, a family - but what if everything is over between us and I don’t feel anything for him at all? I know that many, in principle, do not worry about this and just get married or marry for convenience, well, or just for a good reliable person. Can I do that? Wouldn't I want to howl like a wolf next to the unloved? Don't know…

She prefers a career

Since childhood, I dreamed about how I would get married, I would have my own family, children. Of course, there was a time when I was young, I just walked like that, but time passed - I settled down, got a permanent girlfriend.

Olga immediately captivated me with her seriousness and responsibility. I have never been to the club in my life, my favorite pastime and hobby is work. In addition, she is beautiful and calm in nature. I know that many men are embarrassed by such career aspirations in women, but it all seemed to me some kind of indicator of inner maturity, readiness for adult independent life.

Almost immediately, after we started living together, I put her before the fact - I want a child. Olya said that she was not ready yet. 1.5 years have passed, I'm already 33, I began to insist. She again began to say that it was not the time yet and that she had just been given a promotion, but in the end she gave up. Since then we have ceased to be protected.

It's been a year and nothing. I began to worry: what if something is wrong with me or am I just barren? We decided to go through an examination together - both are healthy. Only the doctor prescribed some special vitamins for me, I honestly drank them for three months. No result. But recently I suddenly realized what was the matter.

Saturday, Olya went to work (it was necessary to urgently finish the report in order to present it to the authorities on Monday). Going through the documents to find a medical policy, I came across several yellow hospital papers that looked like certificates. One turned out to be a referral for an abortion, issued six months ago. In the column "indications" it was indicated: "unwillingness of the patient." The other two papers were prescriptions for drugs, which, when I Googled them, were regular oral contraceptives.

I looked it over and couldn't believe it... So much time, effort, money was spent on examinations, but she doesn't want children! He just doesn't want to! She didn’t even tell me that she was pregnant - how strong is the disgust for children you need to experience ?! Is it really some next rung of the career ladder more expensive than the happiness of being a mother? Where is her feminine nature? I can't understand, I refuse to understand!

I sit, smoke, wait for her to come home from work, but it’s disgusting and insulting to me: almost three years of my life in vain. Maybe I need another one.

"Plyushkin"

Six months ago, I got involved with a man. Divorced, I am also divorced - both were tired of being alone and were glad that they had found each other. They moved in almost immediately. He works at a construction site, smokes, but does not apply to the bottle, which in itself pleases (they parted ways with my husband for this very reason).

I won’t call him a freeloader or a lazy person - a good, responsible man. What is important, very economic. If you need to break the skirting boards or glue the wallpaper, you are always welcome. Likes to work with his hands. Well, here, probably, the specifics of the work also affect - the builder after all. Only this wonderful thriftiness and homeliness of his has one bad and not quite clear facet for me.

Everyone knows the saying: “I’m not a nail at work, I’ll take at least a nail.” So this is his life motto. He drags, in the truest sense of the word, absolutely everything that lies badly. We have four boxes of screws in the corridor, there are two packs of sandpaper, some kind of film, 10 kilos of cement ... Well, that's all right, maybe it will come in handy when we decide to do repairs. But it's not all limited to this!

He often takes private orders for construction work and repairs. From all sorts of old apartments, he dragged worn-out men's shoes size 42 (he has a size 39!), A rusty ax, a bunch of plastic bags, a cuckoo clock, old headphones, and even a women's razor! The last one just blew me away. Why?! He makes good money, we can buy it all!

Sometimes it seems to me that this is just some kind of illness: a person cannot pass by when something is bad and that's it. Otherwise, he is attentive, good. I don’t want to break off relations just because of this, but I don’t know what to do with this “bunny” ...

Pursuer

I recently got a good job. And somehow, at first sight, I liked one guy from a neighboring department. Modest, responsible, laconic. He immediately began to look after me ... I still could not get enough of it, such a positive and reliable man ... I rolled my lip in vain!

Less than a week later, he became a real nightmare for me. After two walks in the park, he suddenly decided that we would soon get married, and talked about it to all my colleagues! How ashamed and disgusted I was ... But these are still flowers!

Every morning he, like a faithful dog, was waiting for me on a bench under the entrance to go to work together. I did not have peace in the workplace! Wherever you look, he is everywhere. He looks at me with small shiny eyes and smiles stupidly ... Just like some kind of maniac!

Of course, I tried to talk to him and explain that there could be nothing between us. After that, my life became simply unbearable. An endless stream of accusations against me, calls from unidentified numbers, and, in the end, he simply began to follow me.

I'm in a cafe with my friends - he's there, I'm walking from the store - he's like a shadow behind me ... And at night a drunk is breaking in the door. I don't know what to do to make him leave me. It's scary, suddenly he really has some kind of mental disorder.

Probably, I will have to quit my job and get a dog ... Otherwise, I will not have peace.

I want to forget him

It all started with the fact that I fell in love very much. And he liked me too, or so it seemed to me.

We started close communication, everything was very good. I thought: finally, this is the one, my only one! The six months that we were together flew by so quickly, but they were just amazing - I didn’t feel so good either before or after.

He had another, and if it was just a hobby, I would have forgiven, but he liked her so much that he wanted to leave. Let go. Well, what else was left for me?

Several years have passed, we either talked to him or not. He already had not a single “great love”, when he was ready to put the whole world at the feet of a girl, to marry (with his masterful temper!), But everything ended the same way - they left him.

For me, communication with him is painful, and even more so to know that somewhere there is a person whom I love very much, but he is not with me, and even worse, with another who does not love. I decided that this is it. He understands all my feelings perfectly, but does not return. No so no. Enough.

Now it hurts something else. We live in the same city, we have many mutual friends and, most importantly, we work in the same field. We cross constantly. I don’t go to events if I know that he will be there, but if you can’t go to birthdays and other holidays of friends, then it doesn’t always work out at work conferences, and it’s fraught.

I almost stopped seeing him in my life, but I constantly dream about him, hugging, kissing. I wake up and cry ... I'm so tired, I so want to forget him forever and start living again - calmly, without all these passions. I never thought that it would be so difficult. He seems to follow me, he is everywhere. I want to run away from this city from the pain.

I am seriously thinking about moving, maybe at least in a new place I will be able to become happy.

Fake girlfriend

When I worked as a counselor in the camp, I met a girl. Also a counselor - well, we became friends. We exchanged experiences, I am a teacher by education, and she is a psychologist. In general, there was something to talk about, and the change flew by unnoticed. At parting, they exchanged phone numbers.

A month and a half passed, she called me, offered to relax together. It seems that a party is planned at her friend's in a country house, the guys are all their own, you will get to know each other, make friends, have fun. Well, I didn’t think anything bad, I got ready, they drove with me. At first, there were a couple of other girls at the party, then they left somewhere. There were me, my friend Mila and a couple of guys.

Her phone rang, she hurried and left. 20 minutes passed and she was gone. The guys were already thoroughly drunk, and one of them began to pester me. I tried to reduce everything to a joke, and then I began to speak rudely so that they would not touch me. The guys got angry and the two of them tried to put me on the couch. I started kicking like crazy. What is going on?! Found a girl here for fun! She barely escaped, ran out of the house and realized that there were only three of us here - all the rest had already left. What the hell? She left me here alone with these guys? How will I get home? Don't ask them to give me a ride!

The guys began to leave the house, and then I was seized with horror. What to do? They can do anything to me here! Realizing all this, I ran as fast as I could on my heels away from home. I heard loud laughter from behind, but they did not follow me. I ran 200 meters, I had no more strength.

Then it dawned on me that the bag was left in the house, there was both a telephone and money ... Do not call a taxi or pay. I started sobbing out loud. Night, it's cold, and I'm standing by the road with smeared mascara and howling! I decided to catch the car, the jeep stopped. Explained the situation, said that there was no money. The driver was a man of about 40, looked at me, agreed. I was shaking all the way - either from the cold, or from fear and resentment.

We reached the city, the man did not say a word, he only wished to be more careful. I got home without incident. In the morning, Mila said everything, a friend is called! After all, I could be physically weaker, and they could be more persistent - yes, it's scary to think!

Didn't wait

I am engaged in social activities, the circle of acquaintances, of course, is wide. Constantly by occupation, you have to contact with different people, organize some things and so on.

For three years I have already known one girl, she works in our organization. We always got along well, but nothing more. Last spring, something suddenly broke out between us, both lost their heads, they just began to dissolve into each other. I thought: well, finally, I love and mutually! How happy I was, my God...

She had a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend, they broke both of their previous relationships. We just started dating, I had to leave - I registered as a volunteer to organize one mass event. When I left, we agreed that we would call each other and write off every day. So I left until October.

At first everything was fine. And then she started saying something strange. That she thought it all over, we are different, nothing will work out, she cannot do this, she cannot be alone for so long. I didn't understand anything. Yes, how so? She loves me, loves me! What happened? How could I persuade her not to flog the fever, to wait until I return, and then they would discuss it. She seemed to calm down.

I started saving money for the wedding, I thought, I’ll come - I’ll take me to my parents in Kazakhstan to acquaint them. She kind of fell silent. I decided to ask my friends how she was, if she was doing well. A friend said she got back with her ex.

Thought my heart would stop. I already imagined how we would go to the registry office. But why? Why?! She never really explained anything. Something vaguely lyrical, like we are different. Didn't she love? Yes, I played.

How lousy I was, who would know. Almost got into a loop. What stopped me was that I had obligations. It was necessary to complete the work there to the end, but agreed to work until the fall.

Came back, found her, and she didn't even want to talk.

What's more important?

I have a friend, Yanka, a kind and good girl. She once offered me to replace her at work - she worked part-time as a promoter, handed out leaflets. Well, of course I agreed. Don't leave your comrade in trouble.

She brought me to the place of work, introduced me to the rest of the guys and secretly told me that she really liked the manager. I won’t say that he seemed handsome to me, but Yanka had a crush, and this was visible to the naked eye.

And so my work began, and part-time espionage, since every evening my friend and I called up, and I told her in detail what he was wearing and what kind of coffee he drank ...

Over time, Dima, that was the name of this manager, began to catch my eye more often, and then he even offered to meet and take a walk in the park in the evening. How snow fell on my head this proposal! On the one hand, I was not busy with anything important that evening, and on the other hand, my girlfriend, with whom we had been friends since kindergarten, really liked him. What to do? Friendship is more important. I called Yana and told her everything. I was surprised that, on the contrary, she asked not to refuse Dima, but to find out as much information about him as possible during the walk.

I did not quite like the idea, but there was nothing to do, and I agreed.

Dima talked a lot about himself, about his life. By and large, I was a grateful listener, and besides, against the background of his fascinating stories, my life seemed boring and uninteresting to me.

Not much time passed, I realized that I also began to fall in love with this person ... So I fell into a trap. Innocent meetings turned into dates, with flowers, kisses and warm hugs ... Along with them, there were also sleepless nights, mostly from guilt before Yana. After all, it was a betrayal.

I felt like crap. The next day, I phoned a friend, arrange a meeting in our favorite cafe (Dima and I often went there). There was a long and unpleasant conversation. The dry greeting and the dimmed look of Yankee immediately alarmed me. She guessed everything, and I did not want to object to her.

But then our "handsome prince" appeared at the entrance to the cafe! He gently hugged the blonde girl by the waist and whispered something in her ear. It's all so banal. When this couple hid in the next room, Yanka and I silently packed up and left. They were silent for a couple more minutes on the way to the nearest store, where they bought a bottle of inexpensive wine and a chocolate bar, and went to the embankment to pour their “woe”.

A lot of time has passed since then. Yanka married a good guy. I haven't met my soul mate yet. But I’m not too upset either, because, as my grandmother says: “There will always be a collar around the neck.”