I wrote to him and he didn’t answer. If a man replies to SMS but does not write himself

You can always find a reason to worry. For suspicious people, any event can become a reason for worry.

However, sometimes even the most persistent and unemotional girls and women have bad thoughts, for example, why a man does not respond to SMS. This is especially suspicious if there are no apparent reasons for this. Here you can think of anything: your phone was stolen, you ran out of money, it’s out of range, the battery is dead, and so on. However, the reasons may be more prosaic, for example, the guy is simply tired of your relationship.

Everything is fine

If nothing foreshadowed trouble, then there is no trouble. Yes, the guy simply does not attach the same importance to SMS that you reward him with. For him, the telephone is just a means of communication and nothing more. He won’t write you a message in response to every “How are you, darling.” He's doing well. There's just no time to do such nonsense. And don’t even think about attacking him at the first meeting with reproaches - men have real men’s affairs, and not all that fuss-pussy stuff.

By the way, You can really irritate him with your messages. In any case, when it turns out that this is your case, you need to talk to your boyfriend about this topic. You can say that you are pleased when he writes to you, because this indicates reciprocity of feelings. Promise yourself not to text too often.

He is no longer interested in you, so he does not respond to SMS

This is also a fairly common reason, especially if the relationship is completely green. You just met a guy, you seemed to go on a first date, which was quite interesting. And suddenly there was no answer or greeting from him. If it seems to you that he, like you, exclusively enjoyed the communication, you are greatly mistaken. He looked closely at you and drew conclusions. Apparently, you said too much unnecessary things, maybe you drank a little too much and allowed him too much. If he got everything he expected from your relationship, you will no longer receive messages or calls from him.

The guy just doesn't know what to say

If a man does not answer, there is no need to write to him again and again. Maintain your dignity, don’t bother him, don’t ask unnecessary questions. Maybe he just doesn't know what to answer you. Not all men are decisive and self-confident. Sometimes they too fall into a stupor.

It’s easier for you, as a woman, to adapt to his rhythm of communication than for him to chase you at fifth speed. Let him determine the dynamics himself, and you find something more interesting to do than bombard your guy with text messages. Then you both will enjoy

Either he likes you so much that the most important thing for him is to be in touch with you. Or he’s a blockhead who has no job, no hobbies, no friends, no important things to do, no purpose in life, and all day long he’s just busy sitting and waiting for someone to write to him. And your message for him is like manna from heaven, which he immediately pounces on like a starving man in the desert.

2. He answers in a few minutes.

This is a fairly common option on a weekend among people who love each other, because it means: he doesn’t sit on the phone all the time, but checks quite often to see if anyone has written to him (for example, you).

Well, either he’s sitting with the phone in his hand and waiting for your message, but he’s a little slow to answer so that you don’t think that he’s sitting like a fool with the phone in his hand and waiting for your message.

3. He sends an answer in an hour or two.

Sometimes we see that someone wrote to us, but we are so tired that we don’t have the strength to respond right away, and we want to take a break from communicating with people. And that's okay. Or we were distracted by something (cooking, taking a shower, watching an interesting program) and did not hear the SMS arrive. This is also normal.

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4. He always responds to you within the same amount of time.

It happens that you scroll through messages from a young man and discover an amazing coincidence. For example, he always answers you 66 minutes after you text him. What the hell? Either this is truly an “amazing coincidence,” or he read some trashy book from the “How to Become a Renting King” series, the author of which advised waiting just long enough for you to think about him all the time, or some kind of satanic ritual. Or maybe he suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder and counts down the minutes for an answer the same way he counts all the cracks in the asphalt on the way home?

Just in case, ask him casually what this means.

5. Sometimes messages come immediately, sometimes he answers only the next day as if nothing had happened.

Well-mannered young men, having delayed their answer for an unusually long time, still ask for forgiveness and explain that they urgently left to visit their grandmother in the village, where there is no phone reception, or something like that. Otherwise, you start wondering if he was with someone else or if you wrote something so idiotic to him that he chose to remain silent.

6. He always writes only the next day.

A bit of a strange habit, but it happens. Perhaps he is so busy that he puts off answering and then simply forgets.

7. He answers in a few days.

This is even stranger since almost everyone is connected 24/7 these days. So if he waited a few days to send a pathetic "Fine" to your "How are you?", he's either trying to play some weird games or really isn't interested in you, sorry.

8. He writes a week later as a customer service employee at a large corporation.

One of two things: either he had a tragedy and was unable to do anything or talk to anyone, or he simply was not going to answer, but then he needed a girlfriend for the night, and he decided that it was not too late to answer.

9. If he writes when you haven’t heard from him for so long that you’ve already managed to delete his number.

This is the previous point multiplied by a thousand. Most likely, he didn’t really like you, he decided to leave you, perhaps he managed to change several girlfriends during this time, broke up with them, and then one lonely night he remembered you and decided that this was an option, and that you would squeal from happiness, having received from him “Hello, how are you?”

Why doesn't the person respond to the message? What are the real reasons for this behavior? It doesn't matter, just stop waiting. Stop looking at your phone screen. Stop checking every 15 seconds to see if a notification has arrived. Stop equating your worth to how quickly someone replies to your message.

You can't put your life on hold until he pays attention to you. You can't waste another second while he's doing something more important than writing a response to you. You can't let one message make your day or ruin your mood. You can't let him have that kind of power over you. You can't be wondering why your guy isn't responding to your text.

If he did not answer you with lightning speed, if it took him time to do so, do not rush to draw conclusions. Don't think that this is a sign that you are not good enough for him. That he is not interested in communication. That he doesn't want any relationship with you. That he reads your message and rolls his eyes because you mean absolutely nothing to him.

Don't hate yourself for sending him a message. You did as your heart told you. This is your decision, and if not this time, then someday it will be the only right one. Don't reproach yourself or scold yourself for being too intrusive. Don't let your insecurities get the better of you.

You have no idea what's happening on the other end of the line. He may be busy. He may be at an important meeting. He can sleep. He may deliberately play with you, wanting to make you nervous. He may struggle to come up with an answer for you. And yes, he might actually roll his eyes and throw his phone aside because he's not interested in talking to you.

In any case, even if you are dear to him, you cannot demand a lightning-fast answer from him. You are not the center of the universe. Each person has his own life, his own plans, his own affairs and his own priorities. Even if he's crazy about you, you won't be his number one priority every minute, and that's okay.

If you adhere to the strict principle of never texting first and responding to SMS no earlier than a couple of days later, then this is your right. In this case, just erase his number. It’s normal not to want to waste your energy and worries on a man who didn’t consider it necessary to write first.

If he only texts you when he's bored, lonely, or has had too much to drink, don't devalue yourself by replying to his text. If in a normal situation he ignores you, then all you can do is answer him in kind when he suddenly remembers you. You don't ask too much. Replying to an SMS is simple human respect that everyone deserves.

Don't blame yourself if your phone screen remains blank. Don't be upset that your desire to talk was met with cold silence. Be grateful that by showing your interest, you found out his real attitude towards you. Be happy that you understood this and can calmly move on without unnecessary illusions. If a person is not interested in you, it does not mean that you are not good enough, it means that this is not the person for you.

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Letters without an answer - how they can drive you crazy. Endless waiting for when he will finally deign to respond to your message. You have already composed a text of several thousand characters, but he can’t even limit himself to the usual “Darling, I’m very busy. I’ll answer a little later.”

You understand that the SMS was delivered and read a long time ago, and this only intensifies your irritation. Now you are already walking from corner to corner, like a lioness, around the room and inventing things for yourself that are even scary to imagine.

"Stop! Don't rush to conclusions. The reasons for silence can indeed be completely different and not always everything is as bad as it seems. Although, when long answers become a habit and a man begins to treat this as the norm, it later becomes difficult to change anything,” assures Dmitry Soroka.

Psychologist, writer and physiognomist.

6 main reasons why men take a long time to respond to messages.

Busy

“Girls, I understand that when you have a question, you want to immediately get an answer,” says the psychologist. - I understand that sometimes I can’t wait, but in life there is such a thing as being busy. And this is not a coincidence, this is specific employment. For business men, the absolute norm during work is to work, and not chat on the phone with a friend, run to the smoking room every five minutes, poke around on social networks and instant messengers. He is at work. Everything else will be secondary to him. Women who are married to workaholics or business people understand exactly what I'm talking about. And indeed, even after reading your SMS, he will postpone the answer to a more favorable and free time from work.”

Married

But this reason may be less pleasant, but it is very relevant for those who really hide their official position from another woman. This is especially true on weekends and evenings. Well, at work he’ll somehow get out of it, but at home you can’t really sit locked in the toilet or in the bathroom. A vigilant wife perfectly sees the changed character of her husband and frequent solitude with the phone. Therefore, at some point, he will begin to leave his password-protected phone in a visible place at home in order to reassure his wife, and more and more you will observe a temporary pause in your correspondence with him. And, of course, for every pause you will be given an intelligible and convincing answer. Although the intelligibility of his answers sharply turns into the category of visible and stupid excuses, as soon as the woman understands that the man turned out to be married.

Ignore

An elementary and simple reason that contains all the signs of indifference. He's not that interested in you, so you don't really exist in his life's focus. As soon as he feels the urge, he will definitely answer you, and dial it himself, and very quickly make a fuss, but there will be one reason: today you are his victim. And then everything will return to normal again, and indifference will continue.

Photo: Getty Images/Westend61

Playing

Do you know how the swing principle works? First you push them away from you. And then they quickly get closer to you and without your efforts. In the modern world, this principle is used as a tool for manipulating one another. You write an SMS to a man, he deliberately does not answer you for a long time, thereby artificially creating his importance and need. Plus, you still start to get nervous, worry, and in the end you start calling him first. This means that the see-saw effect works. He pushed you away, and you yourself returned to him with great speed. Note: yourself! As a result, the relationship turns into a game where you clearly begin to lose to him on all fronts and become somewhat dependent on his attention to you.

Psychology of relationships

In fact, men know how annoying it is for women when they don't respond to their messages. And here is their truth, why they do this:

1. He is afraid of endless correspondence.

It's no secret that women love texting more than men. Sometimes he just doesn't want the correspondence that might follow if he answers her. He doesn't want to start because it will be harder to stop later.

2. He's trying to teach you a lesson.

No offense, but women don’t always answer right away either. If you are to blame for this, then he may simply do the same in retaliation. A little childish, but that's how it goes sometimes.

3. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

Do you really want him to give you a twist in person or by writing it in a message? Sometimes he thinks it's better to just stop answering. And although you shouldn’t immediately think that he abandoned you if he doesn’t answer, this is quite possible.

4. You are too intrusive.

Maybe you're rushing the relationship too much. Maybe you think that he is ready to be your boyfriend, although you were just talking in a friendly way. If a woman is too intrusive, most men will be put off. In this case, he will simply ignore your messages. It's immature and not the best way to handle the situation, but sometimes he wants to slow you down so bad.

5. You didn't understand that it was for one night.

Even if you exchanged numbers, if he thinks it was a one-night stand, he won't respond to your text the next day. It's a shame you thought there could be something more.

6. He wants to pretend like nothing happened between you.

If he doesn't like what you wrote in the message, he can pretend he never received it. If you ask about it later, he may say that he simply did not receive such a message or accidentally deleted everything. In 90% of cases this is a lie.

7. You write to him too often.

Simply because men don’t like to text as much as women. It is not necessary that he wants to break up with you because of this, but he simply limits your correspondence, not always answering you.

8. Your message consisted only of emoticons.

Most men simply don't know what all these emojis mean. And if he does not understand the meaning of the message, then he will not respond to it.

9. He is not confident in you.

And this is his way of arousing your interest. He may not answer on purpose to make you nervous. Yes, men do this too.

10. He is busy.

This is the simplest and most common explanation. He has a job, hobbies, friends, family, and many other things to do. He doesn't wait for your message 24 hours a day. And if he doesn’t answer, then there is often no reason to be angry - just be patient.

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