How do you know if you love your husband? How to check if you love your husband? How can I tell if I love my boyfriend? Test how much I love my husband.

At the beginning of a relationship, there is love. These are the most vivid sensations in terms of emotions. When you want to do everything for the sake of your loved one. Often in this love we dissolve in our partners and forget about ourselves. This stage of a relationship is wonderful with strong impulses and strong emotions. It seems that life is gaining momentum. The body reacts in such a way that we begin to acutely feel even the slightest nuances of our mood, and the strength to change ourselves appears. This is a very energetically charged stage. But time passes. And our psyche adapts to strong stimuli. The hormonal background calms down and there is a lull.

This inner silence seems so unusual and calm that you can be deluded and decide that feelings have faded away and there is no more love. But the fact is that true love has not yet existed. And there will still be many years of grinding in and forming a real view of the object of adoration.

When love passes, the illusory image of the loved one goes with it. He no longer seems like a “god”, he, just like everyone else, can swear, be dissatisfied with something, be lazy, irresponsible, plunge into his fears and disappoint us.

This is normal in relationships. Few people can immediately look at a person realistically. Yes, and we ourselves deliberately, wanting to be liked, create an image of ourselves, and do not show all our pros and cons. This creates a certain tension, which over time leads to us relaxing and no longer hiding our characteristics.

And then came the moment of disappointment. It is important to maintain this new image. Accept him and continue the relationship. Couples often break up at this stage, because the disappointment is so strong that it cannot be survived. But again, we ourselves play a major role in creating an unrealistic image. And we are also responsible for the destruction of illusions.

When the stage of disappointment passes, the moment of acceptance comes. And here the couple’s task is to learn to live with each other in real images. After all, now these are completely different people who have just lifted the veil of their own mystery.

There comes a moment of acceptance, which then leads to a very calm relationship. There is no longer a need to receive feedback, to respond to impulses and expectations every time. Spouses accept each other as they are. Everything that happens in a relationship is done not because I want to please my other half, but simply because I myself want to. This is a very calm life.

Over time, when people have learned to be with each other, accept and come to terms with some of each other’s characteristics, their relationships become even closer. There are no longer any taboo topics, everything is clean, transparent and open. You can calmly joke and discuss some issues. In this case, there is a feeling of close friendship.

And only after that love is formed. At this stage, a lot becomes clear. The spouses feel each other. This is a deep, true and close contact. There is no longer any question of illusions and expectations. If something is given away, it is completely free of charge.
Not every couple reaches the final stage. Often relationships end at the first stage of falling in love. When it is absolutely impossible to give up illusions and accept the reality of a loved one.

To understand whether love exists, think about these questions:

1. What stage of the relationship am I at now?
2. What does love mean to me?
3. How do I understand what I love? How do I understand that they love me?
4. Do I really perceive my loved one?
5. What illusions still cause me pain?
6. Can I refuse them?

Love is often confused with being in love. After all, falling in love is so strong in its emotional charge that it becomes almost tangible. And love is so calm and natural that it often seems like a simple routine. But in fact, it is love that captivates with its depth and sincerity.

Anna Baranova, a psychologist, consultant and head of the Personal Development Center "Life&art", understood the situation.

How to find out if a man loves you: 10 phrases of a loving person + 20 signs of sincere love + 7 true signs (a man’s view of the problem).

We all want to love and be loved.

There are happy women who absolutely know that their significant other has sincere, deep feelings for them. But there are those who have to figure out what is hidden behind the beautiful words of their young man: love, lust, lies, emptiness.

How do you know if a man loves you or if a relationship with you is just a game for him? Ask directly? But it’s so easy to lie.

It is better to look not at words, but at actions. And also look for the right signs that will definitely indicate the strength and genuineness of feelings.

How do you know if a man loves you by his behavior, look and other signs?

To find out exactly what your man feels, you just need to take a closer look at him. Move aside for a while your own feelings that blur your view and analyze his actions, words, gestures, etc.

You will easily understand whether he loves you or not if you do not deceive yourself.

1) 10 phrases that men say when they love

1. "I love you".
2. “Let me introduce you to my friends/colleagues/family...”
3. “You are the smartest, I am so lucky to meet you.”
4. “How many children would you like to have?”
5. “In the future, I plan...” (you are also in these plans).
6. “I want you to know more about me.”
7. "I'm afraid to disappoint you."
8. “I miss you so much, although we haven’t seen each other for only two days.”
9. "I'm worried/worried about you."
10. “Dress warmly, it’s cold outside. Please have lunch, don't go hungry all day. I bought some fruit and medicine at the pharmacy and I’m already on my way to you.”

Of course, phrases can be formed in other ways. But I think you understand the general meaning.

A man who loves will not:

• hide your feelings;
• hide you from friends and family;
• be indifferent to your health, well-being, mood;
• withdraw yourself in difficult moments of your life;
• don't care what you think about him;
• hide your past and plans for the future;
• look for excuses why you can't meet.

2) Actions of a man that will indicate that he loves you

If you come across a silent or stern man who says little but does a lot, do not rush to blame him for not loving you. Just analyze the young man’s actions, not his words.

Actions of a man who truly loves his woman:

This manifests itself both in small things (packing lunch in your purse after a hard day, feeding you dinner, throwing on your jacket when you are freezing in a light dress under the gusts of a cold wind), and in larger actions: caring for you when you are sick, comfort when you lose a loved one, etc.

Involving you in your life.

A man who loves and who wants a woman to become a part of his life, quickly:

• introduce her to his friends and relatives;
• will show where he lives and works;
• will try to introduce him to his hobby, etc.

This will allow him to spend more time with his beloved, and this is what every man in love strives for.

A man who loves doesn't even need to ask you to help. He listens to you carefully and reacts sensitively to phrases that:

• your light bulb has burned out;
• the shelf fell off;
• the electric kettle broke down;
• you don’t know how to get to your parents, because on Friday evening all the buses are packed;
• you can’t solve problems with the housing office, etc.

The desire to help and make a woman’s life easier betrays a man in love.

The desire to please you.

He knows what yours are and regularly pleases you with bouquets. The same goes for sweets, favorite restaurants, movies, etc. He is not ashamed to arrange a romantic surprise for his beloved, prepare a delicious dinner, or pleasantly surprise her. He revels in your joy and is happy when you are happy.

You are an important part of his life.

A beloved woman occupies one of the main places in a man’s life, while a lady who is not loved is simply one of the components.

If you constantly feel on the sidelines, if he regularly sacrifices a date with you in order to go to a bar with friends, go fishing, take work for the weekend - there is no talk of any love.

3) 10 more additional signs that will indicate that a man loves you

1. Looks full of love and a desire to admire you when he thinks that you don’t see it.
2. The desire to share both sorrows and joys with you.
3. An adequate response to your mood: the desire to console when you feel bad, maintaining cheerfulness when you feel good.
4. Constant presence and desire to help when you are stressed, in a bad mood, depressed, during PMS, etc.
5. The pride a man feels for your victories and achievements.
6. Lack of selfishness in terms of sex and the desire to please the woman you love, and not just take care of your own satisfaction.
7. Knowledge and understanding of your tastes, hobbies, likes, dislikes, allergies, etc.
8. The value of your opinion for him is undeniable.
9. A loving man will not take out his bad mood on you and pour out his problems on his head in order to throw out his anger, and not to get help or practical advice.
10. The desire to please your friends and parents, to gain a foothold in your life and become an important part of it.

How to find out that a man does not love you, so as not to waste time on him?

We, women, are creatures of a different make-up than men, so we cannot always understand them.

In my female opinion, the easiest way to understand whether a man loves you or not is to simply feel it. If something confuses you in a relationship, if you don’t fully believe him, and even if you often ask yourself the question: “Does he love you or not?”, most likely there is no true love.

There is sympathy, affection, passion, perhaps love, but this is not enough to enter into a relationship with a man. Where is the guarantee that when you are already married, he will not meet someone he will love with all his soul?

But this is my, female view of the problem. And I would like to know what men think about this.

A male friend of mine, a psychologist by profession, told me several signs that will definitely indicate that a man does not love you:

He didn't change his habits, his traditional way of life, or his schedule because you showed up.

All you have been awarded is to take a free place between work, friends, family and hobbies.

He does not want to spend more time with you, see you more often, or talk a lot on the phone.

Excessive busyness does not excuse a man - if he loves, then he will have time for his beloved.

He is not afraid to offend you.

He simply doesn’t care that some careless words or actions can hurt you.

He doesn’t want to plan with you not only the distant future (family, children), but even a joint summer vacation.

He simply answers: “We’ll see, let’s live, then we’ll see, etc.”

You've caught the guy lying more than once.

There are two options here - either he is a pathological liar, or he simply doesn’t care about how you deal with lies. Neither the first nor the second option is an option for you.

He doesn't try to make your life easier or help you in difficult situations.

No, if you ask for help, you get it, but a man in love knows when to lend his shoulder.

He doesn't accept you for who you are.

A man who loves will not notice any female shortcomings at first; he will forgive even what previously irritated him.

Grinding in and smoothing of sharp corners occurs later. For example, I am an ardent opponent of smoking, I once dated a girl who smoked because I fell in love like a boy.

If he finds fault with you, tries to change you, adjust it to suit himself, he definitely doesn’t like you.

Loves – doesn’t love: find out, even if it hurts

Most women, at least once in their lives, have found themselves captive in a debilitating relationship...

I’m not talking now about any kind of violence or connection with the disadvantaged marginalized. I'm talking about relationships that seem to develop logically and bring pleasure, but there is no belief that they will end in something good.

This usually happens when we doubt that we are loved. I was in such a relationship once.

Dima and I met for six months while still at the university. A nice guy, well-mannered, with many positive character traits, purposeful (even in his second year he started working part-time to have his own money), etc.

He treated me wonderfully: he arranged dates, gave me flowers and nice presents, and paid compliments. In general, a good candidate for the role of a soul mate. But something was missing in our relationship. It was only later that I realized that there was not enough love.

No, I loved Dima (well, or at the time I thought I did), but I wasn’t sure of his feelings, although I received several regular “I love you”s. I always wanted to know how he felt about me. This is what exhausted me mentally and did not allow me to relax

How did I manage to find out that Dima still doesn’t love me? I took off my rose-colored glasses and really looked at the attitude towards me. Here's what confused me:

1. He didn't show genuine concern when I was sick or dealing with some problems.
2. The man was never upset when our date was postponed for some reason.
3. Even in the most intimate moments, Dima remained distant - it seemed like he didn’t care whether I was next to him or someone else.
4. The guy paid too much attention to other girls - and it wasn’t the quick, meaningless glance that all men give at attractive girls, it was an assessment: whether she would be a good replacement for me or not.
5. I felt like he was lying to me when he talked about his feelings.

We broke up on Valentine's Day. During a romantic dinner, we started talking about feelings. I jokingly asked why Dima was spending this day with me and not with another girl and heard the answer: “Well, I love you.”

And these innermost words sounded like: “Well, I bought a jacket without thinking, now I have to wear it, even though I’m not delighted with it.” And I decided to get the truth from my young man.

We talked for a long time and for the first time sincerely. Over the course of the evening, I still managed to find out that Dima, although he considers me wonderful, does not truly love me.

He felt guilty and tried to persuade me to wait, saying that feelings would come, but I didn’t want to.

Yes, it was painful, yes, leaving him was a difficult decision, but I did not regret that I had achieved such important recognition for myself.

How to find out whether a man loves you or not?

First you need to watch this video:

My advice to you: if you think how to know if a man loves you, think about what you will do if he says: “I don’t love you.” If you are ready for the truth (even bitter), then seek sincere confession. If not, leave everything as it is. It is quite possible that sooner or later he will still love you.

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THE ESSENCE OF THE PROBLEM:

I'm not sure I still love my husband. We've been living together for 10 years. How can I check this?

ANSWER:

Approach your sleeping husband at night, holding a pinch of salt in one hand and a glass of cold water in the other hand. Pour a glass of cold water on your husband’s head, and when he wakes up and screams, sprinkle him with salt, saying: “I love you - I don’t love you, I’ll press you to my heart - I’ll tell you to go to hell.” At what word you feel a slap from your husband, that’s what you feel for him!

In general, if you are ready for such tests, fortune tellers and other dregs, if you ask yourself whether you love your husband, of course, you need the help of a psychotherapist. Here it is important to understand what you mean by the concept of “love”. For most married couples, “I love” is an expression of neurosis, when a person cannot be alone with himself and solves this problem at the expense of the other person to whom he says “I love.” It was in this context that “love” was placed in the international classification of diseases, code F 63.9. If in 10 years you have overcome your dependence on another person, if during this time you have matured psychologically, then it is quite possible that this other person (your spouse) may become a burden and cause similar thoughts...

The biological context of “love,” or rather falling in love, is determined by hormones and manifests itself in passionate desire, which the strong half of humanity habitually voices with the word “love.”

“If it doesn’t hit, it means it doesn’t love” - in this archaic flavor, still relevant and glorified in gray shades these days, the concept of “love” includes elements of violence, humiliation and pain to achieve a more complete orgasm, because “the best sex - after a quarrel."

Further development of consciousness led to the fact that “love” was often referred to as “relationships” between people. “Relationships” imply a certain distance between self-sufficient individuals. If in 10 years, and sometimes in less time, two personalities merge into one large codependency, then there is no distance - no relationship - no love... Perhaps that is why among the Russian nobility (and not only) the house was divided into male and female halves. .. These “relationships” did not always turn out to be harmonious and often resembled “ego games”, so masterfully described by Russian classics (“Anna Karenina” by L.N. Tolstoy, “Demons” by F.M. Dostoevsky).

In whatever context we consider the concept of “love”, it is important to understand that first of all these are the emotions/feelings that you experience - from panic-fear, desire-passion to awareness of the Universe and divine grace in the case of true Love, which does not have nothing to do with Ego, jealousy, dependence, but on the contrary, it opposes these biological emotions.

You are what you love.

So, how can you check whether you still love your husband? The promised test!

1. Are you afraid to be left without him?
2. Do you desire him as a man?
3. Do you still have a relationship with your husband (including fear or contempt for your husband)?
4. Do you see God in your spouse's eyes?
5. Do you experience a state of awareness of the Universe?

If you answered “yes” to at least one question, then at least in one context of love you still love your husband, don’t doubt it!)

Online consultation with the author of the “Psychoalgorithm” method:

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Anna Ilya Yuryevich, it is difficult to find words to express my gratitude to you for your help. I remembered in what state and with what thoughts I met last year, 2017. I remember those feelings of bitterness and anxiety that did not leave me under any circumstances. Finally, I left this desire for self-destruction and now I can breathe differently. Thank you!

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Vladimir Thank you very much for the consultation! Indeed, I noticed that memories pop up at times when I was in a bad mood or irritable, but I could not understand that this was a defense mechanism. The next time he appears, I’ll try to talk about what exactly causes irritation, instead of plunging into memories.

Daria Thank you very much for your help! I am very glad you helped me understand myself and showed me a new path to improve my life!

How can I tell if I love the person I'm living with?(we've been together for about 2 years)? Sometimes I experience states in which it seems to me that I am not capable of loving at all, but can only demand more attention, care, etc.
Best regards, Maria.

---
Hello Maria! I understand you - I went through similar things myself: I also couldn’t understand, Do I really love a person?. I began to analyze, understand and came to certain conclusions, which I will now share with you.

First, let's think about WHY do doubts arise? in your feelings? Where do the thoughts that we are come from?

At first, the so-called candy-bouquet period, we don’t even doubt our feelings - we we know for sure that we love this person. We are sure of this.

But after some time, taking off the rose-colored glasses, we begin to wonder whether our ideas correspond to reality? Is all this for real? And then instead of feelings we begin to speak cold and calculating mind. The mind, unlike the heart, really cannot love. Everyone has a mind, and that is why it is cold, in order to cool the fervor of our feelings - otherwise we can make such a mess... And its manifestations are a completely normal, even desirable phenomenon.

Every person has their own ego: another necessary condition for human existence, it is the ego that does not allow us to dissolve in others and remain ourselves. Exactly it tells us that we only need to love ourselves, it is precisely because of this that the illusion may appear that we do not know how to love and only require attention and care from others.
This is also quite normal. So the first thing I want to tell you, Maria, is don’t worry, don’t worry!

Concept of LOVE– everyone has their own, everyone experiences it in their own way, everyone has their own criteria for determining what love is. But they all have something in common: love is inextricably linked with good, close, warm two people, with a feeling of comfort when they are nearby, with a feeling of joy from meeting and calmness when a loved one is nearby.

It would be nice, of course, to have something like this indicator strip: I took it in my hands, looked at the color - and I knew for sure whether it was love or not love. But this strip has not yet been invented, so we will define love precisely by those qualities and experiences that I described above.

How determine if you love?

Answer the questions ( blitz test ):

• Do you feel good around this person?
• Do you feel calm, joy next to him?
• Are you striving to meet him?

If all three answers are “yes,” then it’s warm and pleasant. If an insidious “no” appears, then something is wrong. Moreover: you need to answer questions “on average,” that is, not after some particularly pleasant or unpleasant events, but when nothing special happens.

Another method. (You also need to answer “with a sober head”, calm from strong emotions.)
Write it down on a piece of paper in two columns. good and not so good qualities of this person. This determines your attitude towards him, Your vision of it.
What happened more? Good qualities or bad?
If they are good, this is another joyful sign, another evidence of your good attitude towards this person.

We answered the previous questions wisely, but now let’s let's ask your heart, what does it think? The following technique is something looks like meditation .

Make yourself comfortable in a chair (on a sofa, or even on the floor - on a soft carpet - this is more comfortable. The main thing is that you have the opportunity to spend at least half an hour on this surface and in this position). Another mandatory condition is that you must be completely calm, no one and nothing should distract you. I know from myself that the condition is quite complex, but nevertheless it is necessary. Try to get rid of all thoughts, absolutely all. The easiest way to do this is to focus on your breathing. Relax. Relax both body and mind - listen to your breathing.

When you feel that you are completely calm and there is nothing to distract you, no thoughts enter your head - imagine this person(with whom you have lived for about two years). You can imagine it any way you like - either in action, or a photograph of it - it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that it should be him. Introduced? What sensations do you experience? What did you want to do - come up and hug or run away? What did you feel - warm or cold? Here you need to be careful capture every single one of your emotions, which arose with the appearance of the image.
Unfortunately, I’m unlikely to be able to help you decipher emotions - everything here is so individual that no one except you can decipher them correctly.

AND last method. There is a proverb: “What we have, we don’t keep; when we lose, we cry.”. Such a sad, sad proverb. But nevertheless, incredibly true. We can also use it for ourselves.
Just imagine that this person is not in your life. There is no more, or there never was (just imagine it carefully and in no case focus on it - bright colors are not needed here).
What do you feel, what do you think? In what direction has everything changed and has it changed at all? After all, we can always give the most accurate assessment of the significance for us of an object, and especially a person, only when we don’t have it. Or supposedly not.

Result of reflection on this topic very effective for understanding how we really feel about a person.
And in my case, it was he who was decisive - when I just had to imagine that my loved one was not in my life, I involuntarily cried. I felt very bad without him. And after all these experiments on myself, I just called him, we agreed to meet - and that same evening I was definitely I'm sure I love him. And I felt very, very good with him. And I no longer doubted anything.

Maria, I hope that you can sort out your feelings. And remember - if you and this person have been together for about two years, then this is not without reason. I think that he is still dear to you. I hope for the best in your life circumstances and wish you good luck!

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Love. How many feelings and emotions are associated with this simple word. Every person. There are so many people, so much diversity of love in our world. After all, everyone feels and sees it in their own colors and shades, and as a result, not everyone knows how to understand whether you love a person or not? After all, people sometimes cannot describe this feeling in words, cannot draw it in a picture, cannot play a musical instrument, cannot dance... And if someone managed to do this, they showed only a small part of their great feeling.

How to understand that you truly love someone

¨ Excitement. When a loving person appears, you begin to worry for no reason. As a result, you may drop your cup or see your hands shaking wildly. You can't string words together into one sentence;

¨ Skin pigmentation. Without knowing it, you may feel awkward and blush. Even standing in a cool room. But each person has individual skin pigmentation and its manifestations are individual. Your cheeks may turn red, only your ears may turn red, or, on the contrary, you may turn pale in front of everyone;

¨ Conversations and thoughts. Don't know how to understand whether you love a person? You are in love if you constantly talk about your object of adoration. His image does not leave your thoughts. When you try on this or that outfit, you definitely think about whether he will like it. Imagine different situations with your participation in the main role;

communication. When you talk to him, you like his voice. You write to him very often, sometimes even too much. You expect a response to the stupidest messages, even those that have no text. In conversation, you often use the word “We” rather than “I” and “he.” It's rare to call him by his name. “Trying on” his last name;

¨ Magnet. You are completely, completely, constantly drawn to him. You can tell whether you love a person by the fact that you always strive to be where he is. You often meet “by chance” in different places. Sometimes you just don’t understand how this meeting could happen, but your heart knows which paths to take;

¨ Recoil. You want to give everything to your loved one. Nothing worries you except your general happiness and its pleasure. You are ready to make any sacrifice for the sake of well-being in a relationship, and you react to any of his whims with dignity.

You can understand that you love a person with the help of folk wisdom. One of them says that when people are in love, they often quarrel, but when they are in love, quarrels become a rare occurrence. It takes a lot of strength for love to remain in your hearts, but even more strength is needed to recognize this love. Don't miss the chance to love the one and only person who will become your whole world. Love and be loved!

How to understand what it is: love, sympathy or infatuation?

If you ask any person what the word “love” means, there will probably be a great many definitions for this word. Love can define one’s attitude toward one’s homeland, one’s favorite food, surrounding objects, favorite animals, and so on. However, the most common association with the word “love” is the emotional state of a person and the manifestation of feelings. It is difficult to understand whether you love a person. Love or habit? Sympathy or passion?

Sympathy

You can feel sympathy for a long time, but it is more typical for friends. That is why you need to decide on what exactly your love for your chosen one is based. Do you have a willingness to support a person, to help him in difficult moments of life? If you have common interests and worldviews, you will probably feel sympathy for the person, which can then develop into something more serious.

Sexual attraction

If you feel that in the presence of your chosen one you are experiencing sexual attraction and are excited, then most likely you are burning with passionate love for him and you have to understand that you love the person or not. Most often, love is a consequence of the search for something new, bright emotions and adventures.

Set of common interests

The combination of common interests and sexual attraction most likely indicates that you feel romantic love for your chosen one. This is the most wonderful period of a relationship, but, as practice shows, only young couples can have such a long period.

In a serious relationship, passion is far from the leading emotion. The level of your desire will help you understand that you love a person or not yet. It would be absurd for you to confess your love to a person just because you are sexually attracted to him. This kind of “love” does not bode well. For the sake of bliss in bed, you will have to endure literally everything from your loved one.

Friends, lovers and like-minded people at the same time

As you know, there is no love without friendship. Therefore, for true love it is very important to become a friend, lover and ally to your partner at the same time. Moreover, the desire to become more than lovers must be mutual. The desire for eternal love, when partners are ready to keep it forever - this is true love.

Addiction

How can you understand whether you love a person and not become dependent on that person? One must be able to avoid emotional sadism. If you think that at least someone must be next to you, these are signs of false love.

Jealousy

Jealousy never leads to real feelings. Most jealous people are just egoists who want to dominate their partner.

How to understand that this is love

Aristotle offered a profound analysis of love. He knew how to understand that you love a person. When we experience happiness from the presence of another person, he said, it is simply a disposition towards him. True love occurs when we long for someone who is absent and want that person to be there. Further, true love is expressed in both affection and intimate relationships, not just affection alone.

Love is a psychologically important need. If you were to count how many hours people spend making themselves attractive to the opposite sex by flirting, dating, courting, arranging marriages, having sex and dreaming about love or sex, it would add up to a significant percentage of many people's lives . If you add listening to music, looking at works of art and admiring beauty, then this share would be much higher.

You can tell if you love a person through sexual desire. Freud said that inside every person there is an animal that contains within itself the impulses characteristic of animals for unbridled sex. If the animal inside us were ever to break free, it would end in chaos and the destruction of society.

How to appreciate your love

Our test will help you understand whether you love a person or not. Your need for love is very high if any of the following statements are fundamentally true:

1. To achieve love, you spend a significant amount of time compared to friends of about the same age.

2. You have had many sexual encounters with many partners.

3. You find it difficult to control your sexual impulses.

4. Compared to most people you know, you devote much more time to communicating with beauty.

Your need for love is low if any of the following statements are true in principle:

1. You spend little time having sex or thinking about it.

2. You believe sex is disgusting.