How to kindle love. How to rekindle the fire of a relationship

The crisis of family life is a problem that every couple faces. Usually, there are a number of main gaps in the decline in relations. The so-called "critical points" are actually regularly repeated in the first, third, fifth, seventh years of a relationship. The finale awaits some one - divorce. In order to prevent this at such stages, women think about maintaining a “home”. Trying to figure out how to rekindle the love of her husband. Of course, it all depends on the specific situation. However, there are some general tips.

Start by updating yourself

Get rid of all worn sweaters and bathrobes. The latter would be appropriate if the dressing gown itself is lace, and you feel more attractive and sexier in it. Under any circumstances, you must remain a woman.

It will not be superfluous to update your wardrobe, experiment a little with your appearance. The main thing is that husband will pay attention.

But don't overdo it, otherwise it can lead to even more problems. A spouse can easily become jealous and suspect of cheating. And it certainly does not lead to good.

The second step - "pleasant little things"

To achieve the location of the husband to yourself should be gradually, step by step. And here are the options:

Compliment your spouse. This way he will know that you care. Indeed, often couples who live together for a long time cease to pay due attention to their life partners. With this, the “ill-fated cold” comes into the relationship. It's easy to warm them up. The secret is to remember to say the kind words.

Confess your love more often. But this can be done both orally and in writing. A mobile phone or the Internet will be invaluable help. Send messages in the style of "Know that I love you" or "I really miss you, I really want to see you." Follow only one rule - specify your expressions. Those phrases that will be addressed only to him will be touched and impressed.

Merge with your husband

According to statistics, in the “reason for divorce” column, men most often mention the absence of close relationships. Another reason for the gap is the lack of tenderness and affection. In order not to make such mistakes, talk heart to heart. If we compare the relationship at the initial stage and after a certain time, we can notice an established pattern. Over time, the interest of partners to each other cools down.

In the first days of dating, everyone tries to find out more information. Later there comes a moment when, it would seem, you know absolutely everything. But this is a delusion. No wonder there is an opinion that you can unravel your other half all your life.

A drop of evenings of discussion of pressing issues, the exchange of thoughts and opinions on various topics, and even just conversations about memories will unite and unite you into one.

Be like yin and yang

A few tips to help you mend past relationships:

Bring back the lost romance

The longer a couple is together, the less romance becomes in their lives. Walking under the moonlight, going to the cinema is a real rarity. Instead, banal watching TV at home. And it’s better to keep silent about the cafe: sheer extra expenses.

But a paired outing will help to evoke the same feelings, rekindle the love of her husband. It is better to use new ideas, this is very important in family life.

Show your imagination, do not be afraid to implement non-standard ideas:

• Throw an unusual party, pretend that you have not met your husband before. Try to reacquaint yourself;
• Visit karaoke, sing the song of your love in chorus;
• Organize a culinary evening, cook together delicious exotic dishes that you have not been able to try before.

There is no single right decision on how to rekindle the love of a husband. But elementary little tricks can help bring back the old feelings. In such situations, women need to remember the words of the American writer, an expert in the field of family relations, John Gray: “Men experience an upliftment, good spirits and a surge of strength when they feel needed ...”.

Video: how to return the former feelings of a spouse?

In this video, family psychologist Denis Kostin will tell you what steps you need to take to win your husband's love again:

In general, this is natural. Indeed, according to psychologists, falling in love lasts a maximum of 3 years - this period, according to the calculations of nature, is enough for a man and a woman to create a cell of society and acquire offspring.

Then there is no time for love: the wife must raise the children, and the husband must provide for the family. In reality, it's all much more complicated.

Let's start over...
During the period of active search for a future life partner, a woman does not allow herself to relax: she always looks well-groomed, attractive and desirable.

Whatever one may say, namely, the man “bites” on the appearance, and only then he begins to be interested in the inner world of the fair sex. But, as soon as the chosen one got caught in the net and a serious relationship began to spin, life together or marriage, the woman's behavior changes noticeably.

Lace and silk peignoirs are replaced by tracksuits, stretched T-shirts and plush robes, and hair and makeup are replaced by curlers and a cucumber-sour cream mask.

If this description, at least partially, but fits you, then it's time to act. The transformation of a woman into a wife is perhaps one of the most common causes of male infidelity.

And believe me, for most men it will not be difficult to find one that will meet him not with a rolling pin and a bunch of problems.

If the seductress is purposeful, a man can quickly go over to her side - where he is more comfortable. Of course, it is highly likely that a few years later the family destroyer will repeat the same pattern and your husband will run away from her, but are you ready to wait for him? And most importantly, why? If you do not want to change something now, then you are unlikely to take any steps later.

You do not like this scenario and are you ready for anything to save your family?
Then set the rules.

• Take care of yourself. Believe me, it's not as difficult as it might seem at first. Make masks for hair, face and body only in the bathroom - it is absolutely not necessary for your spouse to see how you cover yourself with salad or wrap your hair with polyethylene. Manicures and pedicures will be perfectly done in the salon - besides, you don’t have to curl yourself into three deaths, trying to evenly paint your toenails.

• Look great. The house is, of course, not a podium, but no one asks to meet her husband every evening in an evening dress and extreme heels. A home suit is quite suitable, a simple dress that emphasizes all your advantages. Add to them slippers on a small wedge or cute socks.

• Think positively. No, you don’t need to constantly smile at all 32, but trying to see the pluses in any situation is a must. Such an attitude will help solve most of the problems, and entrust the unsolvable to her husband, who is smart and responsible. By the way, this is one of the ways to raise his self-esteem.

• To compliment. Of course, only when the husband deserves it. But do not overdo it - he will still become arrogant and decide that you are not good enough for him, so magnificent.

Do not forget that family relationships are quite hard work. And if passion burns on its own fuel reserves, then, having passed into a state of love, it will need additional "firewood".

For the soul

Romance has not been cancelled. Of course, it’s not possible to have dinner by candlelight and walk under the moon every night, but sending children to their grandparents for the weekend and spending time together is not such a difficult task.

Order your favorite dishes at the delivery restaurant, open a bottle of wine, light candles. Imagine that there are no years lived together yet and you are again on a first date ... A wave of memories and former passion will cover you with your head.

For body

Do not forget about the main barometer of relationships in a couple - sex. In no case should it turn into a marital debt.

However, you can also return even a faded passion if you wish. Do not forget that a man is primarily a visual. The fastest way to kindle sexual desire in him is to put on something seductive.

It can be underwear with delicate lace, a peignoir made of fine silk or guipure, a dress with an exciting neckline, an open back, tight-fitting or so short as to leave no doubt about your intentions.

Try role-playing games - try on the image of a seductive nurse, a naive schoolgirl or a cheeky pirate. The husband may be embarrassed, but only in the first few minutes.
You can find sexy outfits in many stores.

Believe me, your partner will agree to participate in such shopping and certainly will not, as usual, be bored on the couch while you are shopping.
Share your fantasies and secret desires with each other, experiment - try everything that is interesting and acceptable for both of you. Add some spice to your sex life.

10 tips to rekindle a dead passion in a relationship

You have been married for more than a year, and your marriage is quite prosperous, but you notice that there is no previous passion, and you make love less and less, because you are tired, and there are no new sensations. Everything is familiar and beaten. Maybe everyone is like that?
It turns out not. Many couples admit that having experienced such a crisis of sensuality, they were able to discover new horizons for themselves. How? Here are some tips offered by well-known sexologists, psychotherapists and just "experienced spouses."
1. Sex is feelings

The well-known sexologist Dilya Enikeeva compares sex with a singing duet: “Singers can sing in unison, but each can lead their own part. If they sang together, then together their voices will acquire a different sound than solo. if you want improvisations, the second one will easily adapt.

Of course, sex at thirty is not the same as sex at eighteen. In youth, everything is easier - hormones play in the blood, you can stay up all night, and in the morning be fresher than roses, there are great hopes and plans ahead, and you yourself are beautiful, like Aphrodite.

Over the years, along with beauty, self-confidence also goes away (especially if your beloved husband periodically reminds you of extra pounds and wrinkles),
the chores of the family eat up all the forces, and the body itself begs to allocate an hour for sleep, and not for sex.

But still, sexual satisfaction is primarily related to overall satisfaction with marriage. If spouses are satisfied with their intimate relationships, then this creates a background against which their relationships develop in other areas. This background affects the success of these relationships, and satisfaction with sex, in turn, depends on these relationships.

What to do? To begin with, honestly answer yourself the question: is everything okay between you in everyday relationships? If not, look for the starting point from which the discord began, and close the emotional gap.

2. Pamper each other!

In one of the songs of Vadim Egorov there is a wonderful phrase: "The least love goes to those whom we love the most"!

Paradox: we do not forget to blame our husband for all the troubles accumulated during the day, we express claims, we straighten up with friends. Where is the tenderness? Spouses who do not forget to express tenderness and love to each other, as a rule, do not grow cold towards each other in bed.

How long ago did you serve your husband coffee in bed? When was the last time he rubbed your back in the bathroom? Do you walk in the evenings under the moonlight?

Each family has its own "recipes" over time. The more often you show each other your positive emotions, the stronger your sexual bonds!

3. Tired bodies have tired sex.

Which of us, married ladies, has not been in a situation where you want to sleep because of fatigue, and your husband suddenly takes the initiative? You refuse - the husband is offended, you agree - you lie tortured, and irritation rises in your soul: what does he need? And it happens the other way around: you go to him, and he has a "headache"!

What to do? Give each other a chance to relax.

I have known married couples "with experience" who have solved this issue (again, each in their own way!). Some send their children to their grandmother and on Saturday ask them not to bother them with phone calls and visits. Others - who don't have to rush to work by eight - put off having sex in the morning. Still others, on the contrary, put the children to bed and pay attention to each other from ten to midnight. My old friend says that for her sex is measured not by quantity, but by quality: even less often, but "in full"!

4. Leave problems at the door!

Do not drag office problems into the house. Do not take home documents that you did not have time to review at work. Phone calls to a girlfriend for an hour and a half can also be postponed.

If you are waiting for an important call, use an answering machine, now it is not a problem to purchase it, and you will save a lot of precious time and mental strength, saving yourself from unproductive communication and many trifling matters.

If on this day you still have a lot of unresolved work problems, it is better not to plan intimate relationships for this evening, as thoughts about what has not been done yet will not give you the opportunity to relax.

5. Sometimes it's worth telling your husband about your intentions!

If you busily say to your spouse in the morning: "Honey, we have sex tonight!" - then this is one attitude. And if you are already in high spirits in the morning in anticipation of a pleasant evening, and during work you call your husband several times, saying that you are looking forward to the evening, come home from work at least half an hour earlier to prepare a light dinner for two, in advance take care of champagne or wine, take a shower or bath - then you will have a wonderful mood, which your husband will immediately feel.

6. Avoid traps!

According to sexologists, the most common trap in a marital bed is the same scenario. Sooner or later, but there comes a period when the intimate aspects of the partner are well studied, and therefore, making love, the spouses immediately "take the bull by the horns", i.e. use those caresses that are guaranteed to bring results.

Think for yourself: if a person is fed fried potatoes (halvah, pineapple, shrimp) every day, then there will come a moment when just looking at this product will make you feel sick. So in any case, the "menu" needs to be diversified.

7. Don't turn your husband into a girlfriend!

In general, this is the golden rule for married life. Always remember: there is a man next to you! And this man needs to be seduced and conquered every day.

In practice, it turns out differently. The wife turns in front of the mirror and complains to her husband that she has gained twenty kilograms, has become like "a cow" and does not fit into any skirt. Returning from the dentist, he says that there are twenty holes in the teeth and in general it is necessary to save up for the false jaw. Or it is accepted to discuss with her husband the purchase of anti-cellulite cream. In general, she does everything that she would never have done in the first days of dating!

Of course, when a wife starts complaining to her husband, she wants her husband to say: "Honey, you are beautiful!" But husbands don't usually say that. They do not see any hints in your words. They take their word for it. Once the wife said that she was old, fat, ugly, with cellulite and caries, - so it is. And who wants to go to bed with such a woman?

Do you think this is what you are looking for?

8. Add humor!

Well, who told you that sex is serious? Sometimes the best way to bring back the old passion is to laugh.

Many women's magazines offer simple recipes, like meeting your husband from work naked in an apron. Allegedly, he immediately pounces on you like a beast. I had a case when one guy became a victim of such a meeting: "I came home tired, like the last bastard, and on the threshold my wife was naked and in an apron. I almost fainted: do you really have to have sex?"

One friend reshaped this recipe in her own way: she met her husband not just naked in an apron, but on roller skates! Husband laughed so hard! The night turned out amazing. True, that husband had a sense of humor. If yours is, try it.

9. Memories are your ally!

My colleague once said: “We lived with my husband for ten years. And if there is some kind of cooling between us, I take out our old photographs. We sit with my husband in the evening, sort through them, remember the good things that happened between us. Of course We smile, we laugh. The right vibes pass between us. We understand that we still love each other, and we talk about it. And then ... We seem to be carried away into our first nights, into our passion ... In general, this is wonderful - to be in love with your own husband!

10. Flirt!

You and I know that flirting with a stranger is easy: smile languidly, look so that this stranger's insides will shrink from desire, and a million other similar things. It's much harder to flirt with your own husband!

Well, for example, going on a visit or for a walk, find a moment to whisper to him the scenario of your night. And at a party, look into his eyes and, imperceptibly for others, run your foot over him (this is usually done by some sexy heroines in the film - probably not in vain), or stroke the knee with a pen, and then move it higher. Should I teach you!

Don't miss the opportunity to dance. Compliment, laugh at his jokes, kiss on the ear - in general, you know your husband as flaky! And the result will certainly come!

Remember: your passion has not gone away! She just got dusty from everyday problems. Blow off the dust and enjoy life!

Events

How many times have you felt like you were disappointed in your partner? You feel like you're completely misunderstood. You feel that you are no longer bound by something inexplicable. It seems as if the fire and passion have left your relationship.

But everyone wants to feel that passion again. Here are some simple ways to rekindle the fire in a relationship and keep it going:

1. Don't forget to date. Although this has been said a thousand times already, it actually works. Couples who don't go out and have romantic dates with each other slowly begin to treat each other like furniture in the house. You need to arrange this kind of date for yourself every week.

Clean yourself up and dress nicely for your partner. Go to a restaurant, go bowling or just take a walk. In fact, it doesn't matter where you decide to go, as long as it's out of your daily routine. When you're on a date, treat each other the way you did when you first started dating.

2. Always meet each other properly. When your loved one comes home late, meet them at the door and give them a big kiss. Do not shout from the next room: "Hi, how are you?". If you are in different rooms of the apartment, then just go up to your partner and give him a long kiss. This little gesture really means a lot.

3. Don't forget to kiss. When you wake up in the morning, don't forget to kiss your partner. Forget about the morning stale breath. Who cares? The important thing is that we show our love from the first minutes of the day, and that's how we start it. The same should be done before going to bed. You should always feel cared for and loved before falling asleep. Too many couples go to bed, each on their own side of the bed, not bothering to kiss their partner and say goodnight.

4. Start fighting the routine. Of great importance in keeping the fire going in your relationship is the desire and drive to overcome the daily grind. One of the best ways to do this is to create a romantic mood. Light the candles. If you usually watch TV in the evening, then why not arrange lighted candles throughout the house? Do anything that is outside of your daily routine.

5. Send text messages to your partner for no particular reason. Send your loved one a little reminder in the middle of the day that you love and think of them. With the existence of email and text messages, this is very simple, but very powerful. You can even leave a voice message. Just one text message about your love will make your partner feel happier.

6. Leave little notes. Everyone loves surprises, so try to please your partner more often with little notes thrown in his bag or briefcase. If you leave early for work, you can leave a note like "I'll be thinking about you all day" or "I love the times we're together." Write something simple but beautiful. Remind your partner of something that will tell him how good you are when you are together.

7. Be mentally always together, even if you are far apart. If you are on a business trip or absent for any other reason, always write a romantic letter to your partner before leaving. It's even better if you leave a few notes so that you can read them every day while you're away.

If your partner is away, then write him such messages with you. This
lets our loved ones know what we think of them. Saving each other before
of all, in thought is one of the most significant components required for
keeping the fire going in a relationship.

Why did I decide to touch this topic? I get a lot of Transurfing questions about creating happy relationships, and 90% of these questions come from women. And it is not surprising, because it is the woman who plays the leading role in any relationship with a partner. This does not mean at all that a woman claims to become a leader in a couple, it means that beauty and harmony in union with a man depend on a woman: how conscious she is, how involved in relationships, how much she loves herself and knows how to use her strength and weakness at the right time.

OUR FEMALE POWER: CREATION AND DESTRUCTION

Let's return to our main question for today: how to return a loved one, how to become desirable and unique for him again, if he has lost interest in you? The most important answer lies within yourself. Of course, I myself am a woman, and I understand you perfectly: sometimes it is very difficult to stop your own flow of accusations and reproaches towards your partner and admit that the reason may be in you. But as soon as you look at the root of the situation, you will realize exactly what energy you missed from the relationship, what exactly you lost, what qualities you stopped showing and what you stopped broadcasting to your man, which allowed him to cool down or leave.

A man cools off towards his beloved when he "leaves" her energy. And this, in turn, happens when a woman stops broadcasting what attracted a man to her, what initially aroused his interest and love. I will give simple and banal, but common examples from life: a man fell in love with a girl who showed herself in creativity, was engaged in self-development, enjoyed every day she lived - and then this girl turned into a bored woman with dull eyes. Or the wife stopped sharing joy and her inner light with her husband, stopped filling the relationship with romance and beauty, and instead acquired the habit of complaining and “shifting” all the negativity accumulated during the day onto her husband.

Also, often the reason that many couples cannot find a point of dialogue and clarify relationships lies in the fact that a woman cannot figure out her true needs and needs, does not understand how she wants to be shown, and most importantly, does not know what exactly she is. expects from a relationship. That is why dozens of weddings are disrupted, hundreds of families are destroyed, thousands of opportunities are missed to maintain full-fledged partnerships ... Dear girls, my dear women, I would like to convey my main idea to you: we are endowed with power - the power to create and destroy with our own hands.

It remains only to learn how to use our feminine power for good and use our charms to make a man ignite with feelings again. The main tool of Reality Transurfing in the sphere of relationships, frayling, will help us with this.

FRAILING'S FIRST PRINCIPLE

The first principle of framing is: “Give up the intention to receive, replace it with the intention to give, and you will receive what you gave up.” But I notice that many women understand this principle in their own way: they refuse the “intention to receive” with a small caveat - so that later they can still take what they want and still get what they want, just a little later. But such “multi-move games” do not work with the World, because the mirror reflects not only your thoughts and beliefs, but also hidden motives, even if they are buried deep in the subconscious.

And to those girls who, reading these lines, will say: “This man does not bring anything into my life,” I will answer this way - never compromise with your Soul, do not get involved in “sick”, flawed and destructive relationships. Ask yourself the question: “Why am I suffering, for what? Why do I need an unconstructive, unloving, unenergizing relationship? And then the question itself will disappear, you will stop suffering over what is not true and real for you, and in the end you will free yourself from this, formulate the intention to create relationships full of love and harmony, and attract into your layer of the world that person who will worthy of you and whom you will be worthy.

Reality Transurfing tells us about choice all the time. So stop choosing suffering and disappointment, choose pleasure, joy, lightness, care, mutual understanding - all those qualities that you want to fill your life and your relationships with, and start broadcasting them in every everyday day to all the men you meet, to all your loved ones. and strangers. Make this broadcast your habitual, natural state - and very soon the very person who will respond to your call will come into your life!

INTENTION: "I LOVE AND LOVE"

“Intention is a dispassionate, unconditional, unconditional determination to get the embodiment of one's will into reality and the calm awareness that this will be so. Free from desire, fear, doubt and other potentials of importance, it is pure” (Vadim Zeland).

I suggest that you set the intention right now - "I love and am loved, I am in a relationship / marriage with a person I love and loves me." Pay attention to the rules for formulating intention: without the “not” particle, in the present or present-continuous tense, without specifying specific dates, dates and names of other people. Describe only the image of the result, and be as specific as possible. Write down your intention in 5-6 sentences and end it with the phrase “I thank the Universe for the realization of my intention! Yes, that is right!".

Reinforce your intention with a daily broadcast from the state of a beautiful woman in love with life, a real Lady of External Intention! Share your inner light and your love without expecting anything in return.

It is in order to help you enter this state and keep it in a series of everyday life filled with deeds and worries, in order to formulate your intention and fill it with energy and our magical feminine power, I conduct trainings, online intensives, initiations and travels dedicated to for women and women only.

The main goal of such programs is to allow every woman to find herself and reveal her talents, to realize what unique qualities of your Soul you are called to decorate this World, how to put them into practice and, of course, attract success, abundance and love into your life, meet a loved one. or create a harmonious, happy union with him, return the feelings of a beloved man and re-ignite his feelings so that he wears you in his arms!

With love, Tatyana Samarina