Features of female friendship. Does female friendship exist?

Does female friendship exist? Or is this temporary union more like a deal or an agreement, and as soon as it exhausts itself or interferes with the realization of goals, it immediately ends? Is it possible to be sincerely attached to a woman, realizing that she is your potential rival, knows all your weaknesses, all your ins and outs and can set you up at any moment? Let's try to understand the features of female friendship ...

Why is she needed at all? And is there a difference: female or male? Any, by definition, asexual thing. This is something that "will not break, will not come unstuck from rains and blizzards." And a friend (girlfriend), respectively, is someone who "does not leave in trouble, does not ask too much - that's what a real true friend means." Of course, everyone remembers this cheerful children's song. And, probably, many could say with confidence: “Yes, I have a true friend!”

Where do real friends come from?

As a rule, they follow us right from childhood. Sometimes appear in student years. That is, when our soul is still pure and not poisoned by the multiple influence of various conventions. Children's friends are those people who know us as God created us. With all our shortcomings, deformities, fears, eccentricities and other flies in the head. On the one hand, it's great. That is, with them we can feel most natural and open. As a rule, we trust them with our innermost secrets, open our souls, share our deepest problems. Moreover, they themselves are ready to be a vest that absorbs all the girl's tears for a variety of reasons. Every person needs a friend like this. Especially in the formative years and the first steps into the world of people. Without him, as without hands. Sometimes it is he who helps us make the main choice in life. At least he knows about our doubts and sincerely tries to help us.

To some extent, our first girlfriends play the role of psychotherapists in our lives, just as we are also lightning rods for them in difficult life situations. For the time being, we are in the same boat. In the same weight and life situations. Plus or minus is the same. The same age, the same school, college, the same circle of friends.

But as we grow older, the areas of our contact with people change. We have our own circle, our own individual profession, our beloved. Sometimes one for two. And here comes the first doubt and the first conflict of interest. A friend from the closest person suddenly turns into a rival, a competitor in a strange way. And a strong childhood friendship begins to burst at the seams. And if it does not collapse, then it experiences colossal conceptual overloads.

Now, former frankness and knowledge of our weaknesses may become the subject of unwanted discussion where we would not like to advertise our weaknesses for the time being. What used to seem so sweet and natural when we told our closest friend about our bad childhood habits or features, suddenly becomes or can become a weapon in her hands. Which she, sometimes without knowing it herself, can use and put us in the most terrible, uncomfortable and losing position.

Sometimes ours become our worst enemies, just blurting out our innermost secrets to an outsider, a third person. Sometimes this can be done even unconsciously, out of stupidity, in a fit of emotion, in the mood. And then, what previously seemed harmless becomes a big problem in communication.

And how caustic sometimes compliments or simple remarks can be. Something like this: “What a gorgeous dress you have, I was also looking for something similar for curtains!” “Oh, what a cool suit you have! I want to buy my mom the same! We learn all the most interesting things about ourselves by communicating in a women's team, and most of all - where our best friend is.

She knows things about us that we no longer want to make public. If she has enough tact, she will not divulge other people's secrets. What if it's not enough? Does that mean she's not our friend anymore?

How insidious is female friendship

Let's deviate from the ideal and face the truth. The absence of competition is possible only among the saints, blessed and spineless. Women always, even unwittingly, compare themselves to other women. And sometimes friendship between them is like a deal or an unspoken "agreement", in which everyone gets what he needs. Someone needs to favorably shade themselves against the background of an unpresentable girlfriend. Someone to get a ticket to a more refined society or material bonuses. Someone needs a girlfriend to merge negativity and always talk about their problems. And someone uses it as a free helper in the home, childcare, homework and writing a diploma. Sometimes a friend can be an excellent guide or filler of empty temporary niches, a clown and a massage therapist, an accomplice in shopping trips and an arbitrator in family disputes, a watchman of a summer cottage and a diplomatic laying in communication with relatives, a drinking companion and a co-worker, a translator and a reminder, an alarm clock or sleeping pills, a co-founder and interlocutor, etc. And it's not bad! We all need someone, supplementing, replenishing and saving someone from something. Basically, that's what people are friends for. When they do it out of the kindness of their souls (that is, out of friendship), disinterestedly and mutually, then there are no questions. But very often such “friendship” turns into a one-way game, and becomes not like friendship, but like psychological or otherwise. Tell me, why is it needed for someone who is simply being used?

But the sharpest contradictions arise when there is a clash of interests. Just imagine, you doted on each other's souls and suddenly, more than aspirations, fell in love with the same guy or apply for the same position. Whether you like it or not, you have to choose. Either sacrifice yourself and the love of your life (career) and nominally remain a friend, and deep down in your soul hate your rival, hiding behind beautiful and noble words about friendship above all else. Or take away what is rightfully yours and put the love of your life (desired position) higher than children's, even true friendship.

What will you choose? What would I choose? Hard to say. I was lucky, I never got into such situations. I was separated from my friends by life, distance, family, different life scenarios, time ... A lot of destructive things happened in my life. But who knows, it would have happened if there were those nearby who knew me as flaky and could give the most important advice, acting at the level of the soul. Sometimes life takes us to long distances, and we can only mentally turn to each other to talk about the most intimate and just be heard by someone. But how often did you want to say to someone: “You don’t even need to advise. Just listen to me, listen with your heart." That's what you need, in my opinion, a real friend.

Real friendship

It's the same as in love. There is a real one, and there is a fake, temporary, conditional ... So it is in friendship. Whatever she is. Male or female. - a completely unselfish thing. She either exists or she doesn't. And if she is, then the question of whether to fight for a man or leave him to a girlfriend is not worth it. There can only be one way out. The man's choice. Otherwise, neither sacrifice nor victory make any sense. And all participants will understand this very soon. Life itself puts everything in its place. Including our true and imaginary friends. Which, like loved ones, cannot be infinitely many.

Of course, you can love the whole world. Have an infinite number of friends online, like everyone and everything until they lose their pulse. But at the same time, remain an infinitely lonely person who simply has no one to talk heart to heart with.

Test yourself if you have no one to talk to except your cat, if you are afraid to trust your many friends, because one can deceive you, another set you up, use the third, quit the fourth, then even if you have two thousand likes daily, you should think about making a friend. At least one person with whom you can just talk or just keep quiet, and you will get nothing for it, except for spiritual warmth and not fictional, not virtual, but real indifference to your person. If you still do not have such a person, then look for him. Online or offline. But definitely in the "real" version.

This does not mean that he must necessarily be near. You can also communicate from a distance. The main thing is that you and he want to be yourself at the same time, and not play some role for your own benefit.

Female friendship- this is a kind of friendly interaction based on disinterested relationships that are built on mutual trust and sincerity, commonality of preferences of interests that arise between women. The concept of friendship does not have a gender division, friendship is determined by relationships and their quality, certain moral principles that regulate and underlie these relationships.

Female friendship in life can be represented by various options (situational and long-term, deep and friendly, due to interest in the activities or personality of a friend), which originate in antiquity, when all the women of the tribe were near the hearth, waiting for men from hunting. It was this form of building society that laid in women the need for constant female communication and such features of it that distinguish women's friendship from men's. For women, social acceptance and security are more important, as well as satisfaction of the need to splash out their own emerging feelings.

The version that women's friendship does not exist appeared after comparing women's relationships with men's and is generated by the peculiarities of the female psyche, which is characterized by inconstancy and excessive emotionality. Friends often diverge at moments of falling in love with one man, and the men themselves consider female friendship to be pretense due to the fact that in a fit of feelings or a bad mood, a woman is able to denigrate her girlfriend behind her back, smiling into her eyes. However, there is also an opposite opinion that female friendship is stronger than male, since not every man will rush somewhere at night or will hang on the phone for hours “because a friend feels bad,” and a woman always tries to help her friend in a difficult situation, and no matter how objective the difficulties.

Does female friendship exist?

Friendship is an analogue of marriage, only without intimate relationships, and other duties and privileges (support, devotion, interest, communication, sharing of impressions and life) are preserved.

And it often prevents women from making friends or the appearance of a man. In the first case, the feeling of competition haunts and a completely anecdotal confrontation begins about who has a longer fur coat and who has a bigger house. There is nothing new or strange in such behavior, because friendship is originally a union of equals, which allows you to find common ground. And in the case of the appearance of a man, more than one female friendship collapsed, from competition for the attention of one man or from the fact that it was the girlfriend who destroyed the family and took her husband away.

Whether there is a female friendship usually shows the time during which the relationship undergoes various changes and either strengthens or breaks up.

Psychology of female friendship

Of course, any friendship has common points, which is given by this very concept, but there are certain psychological gender characteristics that make certain adjustments to how male and female friendship looks like.

The peculiarities of the female psyche do not allow just listening to a friend. Each time a woman is emotionally immersed in her friend's story and experiences the whole palette of emotions from joy to grief, depending on the story. A high level, which is inherent in women genetically and has been formed as one of the mechanisms that maintain a relationship between mother and child, works in women not only in relation to their own offspring, but also when communicating with loved ones. When women communicate, they exchange, nourish their sensual sphere, start the mechanism of energy circulation.

From the point of view of a man, such communication may look like useless chatter, and not like friendship, because all the time is busy retelling what happened and at the same time there are no options for finding a way out of a difficult situation. Such a distribution of dialogue would be indicative of male friendship, while women understand that a friend does not need a ready-made solution now, she needs an emotional response and an opportunity to speak out.

The psychological foundations of female friendship are laid from an early age, when children play, divided into boys and girls. Initially, this is due to the presence of interest in certain games and playing specific social roles, and historically this is the order of things. So, from a children's society, abilities for same-sex friendship are instilled.

Whether there is female friendship depends on the balance of energy in the relationship (it is necessary to equally invest in interaction, when someone becomes a vampire, then the relationship collapses), the presence of mutual respect and the absence of hidden selfish, compatibility of interests.

The most sincere and strong female friendship appears in childhood and school years, when the soul of a person is still clear of double thoughts, and the person is interesting in itself, when heart wounds have not yet been received and the person has not become more closed. With such friends, you can be yourself and feel comfortable, because they definitely saw us in any and in different states. It was with them that the first joys and losses, difficulties and loves, dreams and were shared. With childhood friends, a feeling of family can arise and such a feeling can last a lifetime if the friends develop at the same pace and maintain a common goal and worldview. If, in the process of development and acquiring different life experiences, spheres of interests and values ​​change, there are fewer points of contact, then friendship simply fades away. This is the most painless option for ending a female friendship, and at its opposite pole lies the desire of two friends for the same thing, causing competition and destroying relationships, be it the desire to occupy the same position, love for one man or the desire to win at a dog show.

At a more mature age, we begin to choose friends consciously, and communication is built on joint interests, but begins to include special conditions that will be beneficial to the parties. This may be a desire to appear more beautiful against the background of a less presentable girlfriend, a desire to take advantage of connections, using a girlfriend to drain one's own negative emotions or as a lifesaver. Increasingly, friends are divided not by the degree of trust (in childhood, there was definitely a “best friend”), but by the functions performed. On one you can go shopping, on the other to bars, the third is an excellent massage therapist, and the fourth can sit with the child, and so on ad infinitum. And this is fine, as long as communication is mutually beneficial, and not one constantly fulfills the whims of the other, thereby depleting the relationship. And one more fact in defense of this approach in female friendship is that with age it is more and more difficult to meet a person who has formed in the same way as you, and all the versatility of your personality requires satisfaction.

Why is there no female friendship?

The fact that female friendship happens in life is usually questioned by men, but they do not question the existence of real male friendship. Indeed, women have much more obstacles, because in relationships they are guided by feelings. And if in male friendship two people can logically and calmly assess the situation, one is able to maintain a rational perception of the situation and thereby smooth out sharp corners, then when two women communicate, a nuclear mixture of emotions and moods is obtained that are weakly amenable to intellectual control.

The first thing that wedged between friends and does not allow friendship to exist is envy. By and large, the feeling of envy is an indicator of desires and needs that are not currently satisfied. In women, the feeling of envy flares up quite sharply, as it is directly related to survival and the provision of offspring. Preserving such a sense of competitiveness does not prevent the girls from having intimate conversations, spending time together, but you should not expect any sacrifice in a critical situation.

True friendship does not pass over the years and involves a fairly deep knowledge of the other person. Men who may not know how many children his friend has (guided by tactful behavior in asking questions and the position of “we are not friends with children”) are able to maintain good relationships much longer than women. This distance makes it possible to remain in an acceptable manner. In the case of female friendship, girlfriends know everything about each other, everything in general, so communication with the most beautiful person soon dissipates, there are moments that contradict the inner convictions of one of them, as well as the vulnerability to get hit in the most painful place. Not many people usually pass the test of intimacy, but those who pass it remain close for life. This feature also gives reason to doubt the existence of female friendship, as such, because it looks like they met - became friends - two months later enemies. Although during these two months events for the inner emotional life could happen more than during male friendship for decades.

Girls should be careful to be friends, because there are often cases when, having told your best friend everything about yourself, your man or work, as a result, you can get stabbed in the back because of the envy that has arisen or when the paths diverge. When a male friendship ends, the men simply disperse, while the women may begin to take revenge or throw apt and painful comments at the meeting. About numerous cases when the “best” friend, knowing all the features of her personal life, took her beloved man away, many articles and topics on the forums have been written. It is worth approaching carefully, and it is better to trust the details of the most valuable thing about your life only to those closest to you who will rejoice for you, and not envy.

If we do not rely only on external insignificant manifestations, then we come to the conclusion that female friendship exists. It is the ease and ease of communication, which can border on optional, that causes a feeling of the absence of serious friendly ties, but when the situation becomes serious, reliability, seriousness, and the desire to come to the rescue are manifested. Male friendship is more weighty and serious all the time and becomes more productive in critical situations - there is simply no internal resource left, while it is women who are able to mobilize and pull a friend out of a stuck car or coma.

Rules of female friendship

It's good when there are friends who have been tested by time and events, but who, however, can be lost due to non-observance of simple rules of friendship.

Try to be friends with people who are equal to you in terms of social status, intelligence, level of success and marital status. The smaller the gap between friends in each of the spheres of life, the less likely there is envy, which destroys both the person and the relationship.

Personal problems that you have with your man, boss, mother - solve with these people, and do not run to complain or consult with a friend. With such behavior, you will not solve your own problems and overload it, drawing it into the wrong relationship where your girlfriend should not be, but will be a third, very often interfering party. In difficult situations where you cannot cope on your own, it is better to contact a psychotherapist, so you can make a friendship.

In any relationship, it is necessary to observe a psychological distance - temporal and informational. The first is about leaving your girlfriend personal time and space needed for relaxation. There is nothing worse than pushiness, when a person believes that he has the right to demand your attention at any time. The second information distance is about the amount of information that you trust your girlfriend. You should not tell everything, at least, because the information that got into the access of your girlfriend can be unwittingly told to third parties, without any malicious intent.

The unspoken rules of friendship include protecting the interests of a friend in her absence, voluntary help, lack of criticism in front of outsiders, sharing news, keeping confidential information confidential. Violation of such obvious things leads to claims, quarrels and termination of communication.

And most importantly - appreciate those who can sincerely rejoice at your success, perhaps this is the most obvious sign of true friendship.

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The theme of female friendship does not leave anyone indifferent. When entering into a discussion, everyone remains with their own opinion, since it relies on past experience and perception. Men are skeptical about female friendship, psychologists cite scientific factors confirming its existence. Close friends defend women's friendship. Ladies who have suffered betrayal do not believe in her. Let's consider the situation in more detail and find out if female friendship exists.

Friendship between women: a trip to the past

Since ancient times, men have acted as protectors and earners. Women were given a different role. Ladies spent time at home, equipping their lives and raising children. The circle of communication was reduced to conversations with neighbors, mother, acquaintances. Military operations forced men to participate in battles. The girls again remained in the women's circle. Friendships developed. They formed friendships between women.

You don't have to go to such extremes. Remember your upbringing, and take a closer look at what settings you give your children. We invite girls to play with girls, while we send boys to the men's company. This division is inherent in us, the choice is made unconsciously. Yes, preschoolers get along well with each other. But, growing up, be sure to acquire friends of the same sex.

Why do girls prefer to communicate with girls? Because they have common interests. It is better to play mother-daughter, draw, dress up dolls than play football with the boys. There are exceptions to the rules. But, we are talking about the majority. It turns out that the basis of female friendship is psychological and social moments. The formation of friendly relations begins with common interests.

How is women's friendship different from men's?

Friendship between the girls develop into a strong friendship. Ladies prefer communication with their gender, and not the opposite. The main role is played by communicative functions. How is women's friendship different from men's?

Such distinctions are not made to exalt women and humiliate male friendships. They are laid down by nature and are necessary for a better understanding. Logic, a penchant for analytics, restraint are qualities that come in handy for men in the professional field. Without emotionality and sensuality, women would not be able to raise children. After all, small children in the first months react to emotions, and not to serious conversations.

Is there friendship between women?

Surveys have shown that most girls believe in women's friendship. When answering questions asked by psychologists, women relied on their experience. Therefore, the belief in friendship between women is reinforced by several factors. Ladies believe in friendship, which was born from the school bench. They deny its presence if the girls were rivals in the fight for a man. They also note that friendly relations are possible in the case when a friend does not interfere in family life. A third of the women surveyed do not believe in women's friendship. This conclusion was formed as a result of the betrayal of one friend. The opinion of most women boils down to the fact that friendship is friendship, but it is better to keep a friend at a distance, not trusting 100%. Leave secrets that only you will know. Do not talk about the secret, relationships with your beloved man.

To avoid misunderstandings with a friend, do not create suitable conditions. Don't leave alone with a guy. Limit communication between your girlfriend and your boyfriend. Meet only in companies, organize double dates. If you notice that a friend is staring at her husband, then do not invite her to visit.

Communicating with a close friend, the girl trusts all the secrets, shares her experiences. It's no secret that women discuss relationships with men and other issues. As a result, a friend has information not only about her life partner, but also about her surroundings. Taking advantage of this situation, some girls take a man away from the family or beat off a guy. If a similar situation happened to you, then do not put an end to friendship. Each person has their own moral principles and beliefs. Most likely, you made a mistake in choosing a close friend, let in an envious and deceitful person.

When does female friendship end?

Female friendship stands out for its strength and fidelity, in the event that you are lucky and managed to find a real girlfriend. If friendships are not formed at school or college, then it will be more difficult. A person acquires principles, foundations, rules and is looking for a person with similar interests. When choosing a friend, pay attention to her surroundings. A large number of acquaintances and friends around will say that you will develop a superficial relationship. This girl has no time for friendship.

How to maintain female friendship?

Any relationship requires work. You can’t keep a friend in reserve and remember her as needed. When you need to brag about new jewelry or cry in a vest. Do not forget to congratulate your girlfriend on the holidays, invite them to take a walk, organize family trips. How to maintain female friendship?

Choose a friend according to your interests. If you do not yet have a close friend, then take a closer look at your friends. Study habits, interests, manner of communication. You should be comfortable with this person. Friendship will not work out if you are an avid stay-at-home, and a friend likes to spend all the time in clubs and parties.

Don't teach me how to live. Advice, support, expressing opinions are normal relations between women. When pressure begins, conviction that one is right, a discussion of a friend, then communication turns into teaching. Do not put pressure on a friend and do not allow this in relation to yourself. At the stage of formation of friendship, you accepted each other with all the advantages and disadvantages. If you see that you can help a friend, point out the negative aspects of character, behavior, do it gently and without moralizing.
Understanding. Eliminate envy from the relationship. Such a feeling destroys friendship and a person. When listening to a friend, do not blame or condemn actions. Try to enter into her position and speak out as you would have done. In friendship between women, mutual understanding and respect are important.

Don't forget to invest in good deeds. Don't wait for a girlfriend to ask for help. If you are able to support with advice, financially or in any other way, then offer help. Not everyone knows how to ask, many are shy, afraid to interfere or do not know how to express feelings, emotions.

Friendship between women and its psychology is a hot topic that is being studied, researched, and conjectured. Do not treat this phenomenon as a phenomenon. The strength of relationships depends on the basis on which they are built. If female friendship is formed on the basis of fidelity, trust, respect for each other, then it will exist from school to old age. Selfishness, envy, betrayal are not the best supporters of any relationship, including female friendship.

February 3, 2014, 17:21

Disputes about the possibility of female friendship have been going on for decades - during this time there were both adherents and critics of such relationships. What exactly is the concept of "friendship" in this case and whether it really exists - this will be discussed in this article.

Psychology of the concept of the phenomenon of "friendship"

From a psychological point of view, friendship can be called disinterested relationships between people that are built on the principles of trust, sincerity, sympathy and common vital interests. Many psychologists believe that it would be wrong to separate this concept by gender, but in fact, the emotional and behavioral characteristics of men and women still make certain changes to the seemingly standard process of trusting interaction.

Important! The psychological foundations for true female friendship are laid in early childhood, when role-playing games begin to be divided by gender. If a girl learns to properly interact with her friends while playing “daughter-mother”, then in the future it will be much easier for her to build trusting, adult relationships with them.

For this reason, female friendship can be divided into several variants of manifestation:

• situational and long-term;
• deep and friendly;
• based on the personal characteristics of each party and due to their professional activities.

A common gender characteristic for all of these options will be the importance of being completely immersed in a conversation with a friend. Women cannot simply listen to the interlocutor and answer the questions posed - in order to maintain communication, they have to emotionally immerse themselves in the story of another person every time, experiencing every situation with him.
The ability for a high level of empathy has been laid down in the female sex for centuries, in particular, thanks to the bearing of a child (tender feelings and compassion for their children gradually grew into similar feelings for loved ones). For men, such emotional conversations may seem like useless chatter, but experiencing this or that situation together, girlfriends help find a way out of it or simply lighten each other's emotional burden when one of them is not yet ready for a specific decision.

Why do we need friends

Man is a social being, which means that for the harmonious development and achievement of new heights in personal and professional activities, he simply needs social contacts. Women are by nature more emotional than men, so it is very important for them to throw out unnecessary emotions in a timely manner - and it doesn’t matter if they are positive or negative. The accumulated internal energy leads to self-destruction, often contributing to prolonged female depression.

In a conversation with a friend, you can say every exciting moment, as if dividing the problem into two parts. In addition, truth is born only in dialogue, so often someone else's point of view or just a problem voiced aloud leads to a logical and most correct solution.
The happiness of true friendship is expressed in:

• awareness of the presence of a person who will always listen and support;
• the possibility of obtaining a joint life experience, which in the future will unite people even more;
• regular interchange of experience, knowledge and psychological energy;
• the presence of inner warmth, which is felt even at a distance;
• constant sense of importance.

Often women just need to speak out, without condemning everything they have done. Men, unfortunately, are not always able to just listen without giving any assessments, which cannot be said about a girlfriend.

The difference between friendship and communication

Important! True friendship is tested over the years and the joint experience experienced by friends. Only having been in various situations, having experienced sorrows and joys with a person, you can be sure of your decision to entrust him with your most intimate experiences.

However, in all these situations, you will not be able to trust another person with true feelings and worries, because it is very important for each of us to feel emotional feedback when communicating.
Empathy and a sincere willingness to be imbued with all the problems of the interlocutor, making every effort to solve his life problem is the main difference between friendship and ordinary everyday communication. With the right construction of friendly relations, girlfriends will be able to help each other cope with a variety of life troubles: from a bad mood to emotional imbalance from constant quarrels in the family.

Does female friendship exist?

Many people manage to experience friendly relationships, but it’s not always possible to talk about true friendship between women. Girls playing with dolls and problem solving in adulthood are not the same thing, so let's find out what are the positive and negative sides of this type of interaction.

Advantages

All the benefits of female friendship can be divided into two groups: superficial (available to almost everyone) and deep, which affect personal experiences. In the first case, we are talking about meeting the needs for social contacts, solving simple professional or personal problems, and spending time together.
As for the second group, here the presence of a real girlfriend opens up many more opportunities, the main of which will be:

• emotional stability;
• feeling of importance;
• the presence of constant mutual support, which is especially important in cases where there is no one else to expect it from.

Sometimes girlfriends help each other to realize themselves in the professional field, reaching the planned heights together, although such situations do not occur often.

Possible difficulties of such friendship

Unfortunately, even a long-term friendship can crack or completely collapse, the reason for which is often the appearance of a man and the stronger emotional experiences associated with him, or banal envy of other people's successes. In the latter case, the further development of events is based on the strength of the inner spirit of rivalry, and if one of the women has it more developed, then all further relationships will come down to determining who has the “fur coat longer”.

Did you know? An example of true friendship is the case that happened to Japanese athletes at the 1936 Olympics. Having shown the same result in the pole vault, they did not agree with the jury's verdict and decided to cut their medals so that each received the same silver-bronze award.

With the advent of a man, everything becomes even more complicated, especially if both friends are passionate about the same male representative. In this case, the rivalry often takes completely unexpected turns, and often we are talking not only about the termination of friendly relations, but also about the beginning of real enmity.
Initially, friendship is a union of equal people, but as soon as one of them begins to stand out favorably against the background of the other and the common point of contact disappears, problems can no longer be avoided. Simply put, it is possible to answer the question of the existence of sincere female friendship only after some time, when both friends were able to go through all the obstacles without ever envying or wishing for what the other has. Such cases do occur, but not as often as we would like.

Why do women doubt friendship?

At a young age, the vast majority of female representatives tend to believe in the existence of sincere female friendship, and the realization that it is far from always such comes later. Most often, the reason for distrust in such relationships is the experienced negative experience associated with betrayal or constant envy of the one whom the woman considered a real friend.

It is very difficult to deal with increased emotionality, therefore it is difficult to forgive another person, and even in the case when the reasons for his behavior are quite understandable. Only an objective assessment of all statements and actions, as well as a sincere wish for happiness to a loved one, will allow building long-term friendly relations, and this applies not only to female, but also to male friendship, which also happens.

In companies, and in matters of a personal nature, the question often arises of whether female friendship exists. This topic is very topical and has come up more than once in everyday discussions. But before finding out its causes and consequences, it is necessary to consider what these relations are in principle.

They note that friendships are close communication, mutual understanding, trust, the presence of common interests and emotional attachment. Unlike other types of relationships, partnerships, business relationships, affection between acquaintances, these are based on emotional sympathy.

Like love of a sexual nature, the existence of friendship between two people carries the aspect of affection and feelings "in spite of" . The difference between these feelings is precisely sexual attraction.

As in love for a partner, friendship can start quickly, but the relationship process itself is built long and painstakingly.

Female and male friendship: what is it?

So, the meaning of this concept, in principle, carries an emotional and trusting character, contains a feeling of affection and the presence of common interests. In this case, the emergence of such a complex of feelings is not limited to gender. So, it depends on the personal qualities of the individual.

By the way, a similar list, and perhaps much wider, can be presented to the feeling of love or falling in love. And if you start to distinguish between love, if possible, feel and imbue it with respect to the male or female sex, then the results can come out directly opposite to the opinion that has developed among the people about friendship.

The misconception that female friendship does not exist is most likely generated by the women themselves. Take, for example, the 18th or 19th century, when it was the destiny of a woman to marry successfully or to marry in principle.

A man was unlikely to have any interest in the presence or absence of his wife's affection for her girlfriend, in fact, because the weak half of humanity still remained weak, and any feelings and desires, except for those related to the husband and family, were not regarded as in any way worthy. or value unit.

So, why are there misconceptions that female friendship does not exist:

• the weak side of the population itself came up with this myth, or rather, brought it out of personal experiences. For what purpose? Yes, absolutely simple - to justify yourself, your beloved in not too well-behaved deeds. And so, they say, there really is no girlfriend, and I did not betray anyone. But this is a personal factor that has nothing to do with primary sexual characteristics;
• as always happens, one of the “great ones” said something similar, and those to whom the phrase was beneficial picked up and actively began to use it;
• more or less objective reasons coming from men. The fact is that a woman spent the lion's share of her existence on earth near her husband and children, taking care of the house. We all know how, after all the household chores, there is no energy left for anything - what kind of friends and acquaintances are there! The strong side of humanity in the literal sense of the "breast" is not tied to the family and children, respectively, opportunities for "strong male friendship" more too. Therefore, among the strengths of humanity, it is generally believed that only they are capable of true brotherly emotions.

But again, such feelings as “love” and “friendship” appeared already in a rather late era of human development and are a property not of a biological species, but of individuality - personality. It is not a certain gender that is capable of such sincere emotional manifestations, but a certain personality. Otherwise, if we talk about the psychological difference and the different abilities of the sexes for feelings, then female friendship may turn out to be stronger.

Mirror neurons are responsible for empathy, trust, and empathy. Women have more of them than men, so they are more emotional, easier to forgive, trust and empathize.

Based on this logic, in this case, the strong side of humanity is incapable of a strong feeling, since it is more sober in its assessments. Therefore, speaking critically about whether there is friendship between ladies, it is worth remembering that strong and real feelings of any kind are the prerogative of the individual, and not gender.

However, there are still certain differences in gender relations. And they are connected, first of all, with the psychology of sex.

How is male friendship different from female?

Strong representatives of humanity are distinguished by their sober mind and rationality, while male solidarity plays an important role in them.

Remember how many times the boyfriend / husband left "meet the boys for beer/fishing", “well, dear, my brother has a problem there - it’s necessary to sort it out” etc.

In addition, the strong side of humanity is less picky about trifles, to a large extent less envious, more guided by its own opinion than by the views of others.

For the beautiful half of the population, everything happens a little differently:

• developed a sense of rivalry, a desire for superiority. At the same time, women often think not in terms of changes, but in comparison with others: she is fatter than me - I am fatter than her, she has a successful husband - my drunk, she looks young - I sewed myself up in pots, etc. At the same time, between women begins unhealthy rivalry, namely, a game without rules. Increased emotionality makes itself felt, and instead of a rational improvement plan, a plan to destroy the opponent often matures;
• different logic of thinking. Guys usually decide everything at once, while a fight is a direct way to clarify the conflict, after which they will not necessarily disperse as enemies. Ladies rarely solve an interpersonal problem directly and immediately. Usually everything happens like this: I heard - I saw - I was offended - I thought - I discussed the incident with my friends - I thought again - weaved an intrigue;
• women are more inclined to talk, men to action. Girlfriends gather to talk somewhere and express all the accumulated indignation, then discuss, then once again express indignation. Men, on the other hand, usually meet for some common cause (remember football and fishing!), where frank conversations may not come to pass. Men are not inclined to a long discussion, with the exception of intimate life - here they are even worse gossips than girls;
• guys think straight, girls ... Pan's Labyrinth. From one unanswered SMS, a woman is able to create an hour-long scandal. Moreover, before that, she also made a crazy cycle of emotional thought. This is reflected in relationships - men are less likely to console themselves with thoughts that everything will work out if everything went wrong. Girls look for thousands of reasons and excuses for themselves and others, build hopes and refuse to see the obvious;
• the strong half of humanity has a different perception. They are not used to getting to the bottom of the truth and looking for a catch. For girls, the opposite is true.

The difference in thinking gives rise to some differences in behavior within the framework of any type of relationship.

Myths about why there is no strong female friendship

1. The beautiful half of the population is not responsive in matters of assistance and mutual assistance. It's at the root
   wrong. This misconception is based on the fact that men are more prone to action. Mutual assistance in the stronger sex is based on specific actions - men are not inclined to talk about problems: they either solve them or are silent. For girls, it's a little different. Often we come with a conversation to a friend not so that she solves this or that dilemma, but simply to speak out and hear advice. The psychology of female friendship is based on the importance of being heard, and this is already regarded as a partial solution to problems;
2. The boundaries of friendship end where the man begins. The statement, in principle, is true, however, it takes place regardless of gender. The strong half of humanity quarrels over girls as often as the weak. This question has actually been the cause of much debate about the existence of friendship.

Fortunately, the fragility of relationships most often does not depend on gender and not on claims for "pretty prince" but from interpersonal competitive feelings between girls.