What is female affection, tenderness and attention? Tenderness and affection are necessary for every woman.

To be gentle means to be soft-hearted and to have the ability to express gentle feelings of love, kindness, and compassion. gentle man receptive to other emotions. He is especially compassionate towards the pain and misfortune of others. The Good Samaritan showed tenderness when he treated the injured man's wounds, picked him up on his donkey, and took him to an inn. This is what a father does when he comforts his little ones when they are hurt or disappointed, when he takes care of his wife when she is sad, or when she helps a wounded bird or animal.

Tenderness and affection are awakened when we experience a feeling of love or tender affection for another person. Some of the practical manifestations of gentle caresses are handshakes, pats on the shoulder or cheek, soft words, gentle expression face and soft tone of voice. The eyes can say more expressively about the feelings of a person than his words. When these emotions are expressed in a perfectly masculine man, the effect is penetrating. The reason is that this rarely happens. An unexpected and very pleasant effect ignites deep emotions. It's the perfect mix positive qualities. A thousand eloquent words would not say so much.

Tenderness and affection, as well as softness, are usually associated with femininity. Therefore, some men try not to show tenderness, so as not to appear effeminate. I repeat again that this can happen if a man is already a little effeminate. His tenderness may seem negative quality. But when a man is supremely masculine as well as gentle, he can be the hero to his family and society that Abraham Lincoln was. There is a poem that perfectly describes the need for tenderness:

What matters in this world is the human touch, The touch of your hand and mine

Which means so much more to a failing heart Than shelter, bread and wine;

For refuge disappears when the night passes

And there is only enough bread for a day,

Spencer M. Tree

The world is a cruel place, filled mainly with people, each of whom is only concerned with his own problems. They don't think about others.

One day I watched a family of eight prepare to get into their minibus and go to church. The dog of this family, who was sleeping at the threshold, immediately jumped up, wagged his tail and jumped happily when he heard the approach of the family. This dog happily rubbed himself near each of the family members, hoping that one of them would play with him or at least stroke him. But none of them paid him the slightest attention. His eyes showed deep disappointment. But without any malice, he returned to his seat when they left. He will be ready to welcome them with the same cordiality when they return.

Like this despicable dog, people everywhere need tenderness and affection. People need it more than blankets. And that will give them more warmth and peace than material possessions will ever bring.

Affection (Weasel) as a quality of personality - the ability of kind-hearted, gentle words, kisses, hugs, strokes to deliver pleasant, gentle sensations to the soul and body.

One man always disappeared to the beer halls, in spite of constant reproaches wives. Once she was advised: - Rather than reproach him, be nice, affectionate with him, it will be more pleasant for him to come home. In the evening, the husband crawled in drunk, his wife greets him with a kiss, feeds him a delicious dinner, then sits down next to him and begins to kiss, caress ... Then she whispers: - Honey, it's late, maybe let's go to the bedroom? - It’s possible, what’s already there, - the husband answers - at home, I’ll fly in from my wife anyway ...

Weasel pierces and melts the heart. In stroking, calm, affectionate speech, kisses and unsharp hugs, the uniqueness of ourselves is manifested. Al Quotion writes: “Every kiss, every caress is the first and the last. Unique moments of ourselves.

Tenderness is a pass to intimate area another. The advantage of affection is that it manifests itself, as a rule, in the comfort zone of another person. Each person feels discomfort when others unceremoniously break the distance, climb with familiarities, show familiarity. Harmony, a comfortable state people acquire when the distance between them allows them to maintain a good relationship, without going to extremes: coldness and alienation, on the one hand, and familiarity, familiarity, on the other.

An exception is made only for kindness. Weasel, meeting the consent of another, approaches at a distance french kiss. The magnitude of the distance can be judged by the affectionate nicknames that partners endow each other with. For example, psychologists believe that neuter nicknames or objects that are out of reach, such as Heart, Sun, Ray, Asterisk, Joy, Light, My Soul ... - indicate some distance between partners or emotional coldness, although warmth emanates from these nicknames.

A typical reaction to a desired, sincere affection is happiness, satisfaction, joy and peace. If the caress is false, then suspiciousness and alertness immediately turn on. “A liar knows how to pretend to be kind,” Shakespeare wrote. Fake, deceptive caresses are annoying and disappointing. Alexander Vertinsky in the romance "Today I laugh at myself" sang:

I'm tired of white and rouge,
And from the eternal tragic mask,
I want a little affection
To forget this wild deception.

People say: "Affectionate child sucks two queens." Indeed, with caress you can realize your intentions much faster than with a frontal attack. An affectionate, prudent woman will never go to the ram in a relationship with a man. She knows that the only way to overcome a man's straightforwardness is to caress. Boarding is stupid. This is equivalent to breaking through a reinforced concrete fence with your head. An affectionate woman will pretend that she has abandoned her intention in favor of a man’s, but it’s an amazing thing: for some reason, it is her intention that is being realized.

In Mikhail Bulgakov's "Heart of a Dog" one character asks: "How did you, Philipp Philippovich, manage to lure such nervous dog? - Kindness, kindness... The only way which is possible in dealing with a living being…” Even the ancients noticed this qualitative feature of affection. Let's listen: "The one who acts with kindness always wins" (Publius Sir); “Even cruel hearts are conquered by an affectionate request” (Albiy Tibull). William Shakespeare in winter fairy tale"writes:

I'm waiting for praise, I will become from praise
More arrogant than a fat goose.
Don't forget: you must
Praise me for good deeds! —
I advise all husbands to remember:
You will drive us thirty miles with a kiss,
And with a spur - you can hardly move ...

The need for affection is one of the main emotional needs of a person. Let's go ahead and dig deeper. Without affection, a holistic and mature personality can rarely be formed. The integrity of the individual means the possibility experience a state of inner fullness, abundance, success and happiness; to be satisfied from the awareness of the realization of one's life purpose; not be tormented by contradictions, pressure of vicious personality traits; systematically meet their physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs; be able to give and receive love.

Weasel is a panacea for all sorts of ailments. Mikhail Shishkin writes in "Pismovnik": "It is impossible for a person to live without affection, and it is always lacking and will be lacking, because the need for affection is always greater than any kindness." He is echoed by Guy De Maupassant. In Dear Friend, he states: “Women who are caressed little, clumsily or rarely, live tormented by a thousand miserable cares, vanity, a thirst for money, all sorts of accidents that cause so much grief. Women who are caressed to their fill do not need anything, do not desire anything, do not regret anything ... for voluptuousness replaces everything for them, heals from everything, consoles in everything!

The wife asks her husband: - Vasya, and Vasya, tell me something affectionate, affectionate, tender, gentle, but so that it turns out to be true. - Podkolodnenko snake!

The need to receive affection, in fact, is genetic in nature. It is also present in animals. My dog ​​cannot live without affection for a day. He listens with pleasure to the truth about himself: how smart and good he is. I see that he needs my touch. For him, the unwritten law is to receive at least ten manifestations of affection during the day. Otherwise, he goes out, becomes sad and preoccupied.

Weasel is a weighty, real value, although many do not appreciate it, reducing it to emptiness: - Dear, what will you give me on March 8? - And what did you give me for February 23? - Love and affection! - Here I am nothing to you.

Eric Berne described the following fact. A number of mentally retarded children were paired for the experiment with foster mothers - girls from the nearest home of young offenders. Each of the children thus acquired maternal love, care and affection, which he was deprived of before. As a result, the level of intelligence increased not only in these children, but also in the “mothers”, since they also filled the gap in emotional life: each now had a child who could be caressed and loved.

Even adults, according to psychologists (for example, E. Bern), for normal health, good mood, a certain number of hugs, kisses, “strokes” per day (each has its own “measure”) is necessary. A survey of adults conducted by psychologists showed that even those who consider themselves unkind (49% of men and 77.8% of women) need affection. Only 3.6% do not need affection affectionate men, and at affectionate women they are practically absent (out of 165 affectionate women, only one said that she did not need affection).

If a person is unkind, he shows irritability, feels lonely and useless. American researchers from the Kinzie Institute at Indiana University conducted a survey of 200 couples from the United States, Germany, Japan, Brazil and Spain who were either married or had strong relationship lasting at least a year. The age of the respondents ranged from 40 to 70 years. It turned out that if a woman often shows affection, then a man feels absolutely happy in a relationship. It is important for him that a woman periodically hugs him, kisses, strokes and speaks affectionate words.

Don't be silent, speak...

In the caress of your speech,

In the selfless joy of goodbye

You brought me with you the freshness of the fields

And fragrant kisses of flowers.

Spouses, lovers, lovers usually give each other curious affectionate nicknames, which, in everyday life and intimate communication almost eclipse real names.

Two friends are talking to each other about their girls. - And I affectionately call mine: my bunny, my fish, my bird ... - And what is she? - And she spreads her ears, bulges her eyes, and clicks her beak ...

What secret semantic load do affectionate nicknames have? For example, if a man calls you "pussy" or other "cat derivatives", then he has a soft nature and can be easily controlled. A fat plus of such a man is that he is romantic, and pleasant surprises await his woman.

The cat and other small animals are not dangerous. Kitten, Cat, Pussy, Fox cub, Wolf cub, Mouse, Hedgehog, etc. The psychologist Jung gives the cat the widest range of qualities, from softness, sexuality to the dark "lunar" beginning, cunning and insidious. A cat is the source of the deepest sexual emotions and experiences, therefore it indicates deep, passionate feelings for a love partner.

A hedgehog that is difficult to touch is a sign of a painful interest in a partner, although more on an emotional than on physical level. In general, this entire group of nicknames is united and symbolized by sex drive and the desire to establish close contact.

And what do psychologists say about big animals that have become affectionate nicknames? These animals have a rather high degree of danger in nature, and sometimes they are frankly aggressive, as they are predators. Lion cub, Bear cub, Crocodile, Tiger cub, Lynx cub, Little dragon, etc. A man who likes his own nickname "Teddy Bear" is subconsciously looking for a woman who will pacify his aggression, make him kinder, inwardly he is ready to obey her and become "plush", almost like in the arms of a little girl who kisses the Bear toy at night and puts her to bed. yourself to bed. In general, a woman hugging an aggressive animal is associated with a conqueror, a tamer. A woman who has chosen such a “name” for her partner wants to have more power over him.

Animals are harmless. According to psychologists, these animals do not pose any danger, and the first emotion they evoke is tenderness, sometimes even pity. Bunny, Bunny, Honey, Mouse, Hamster, Fish, Bird, etc. Wherein different types birds are characterized by romantic lyrical relationships, or their imitation, and the "rodent" in love couple, as a rule, is psychologically dependent, needs a patron and protector, or is simply forced to be on the sidelines.

The weaker and more defenseless the “animal”, the more it causes a desire to protect and protect it, which is not always good. After all, one of the partners subconsciously masks his desire to become a leader and subjugate himself, coming up with such a affectionate nickname. For example, "Chicken". Such a nickname would obviously sound like constant reminder about weakness, dependence. Harmless little animals can talk about unequal relationships or even tyranny.

Nicknames that refer to individual characteristics the appearance or character of a love partner, for example, Ginger, Critter, Eyeball, Ushastik, Lipstick, Bald, Little Devil, Pyshka, Donut, Piglet, Elephant, Button, Fool, Silly - symbolize the most sincere sympathy. This means that the partner loves both the advantages and disadvantages of his beloved.

Affection - female quality personality. Affection for a man is asceticism. His psyche is tuned for rigidity and hardness. The energy of affection is generated by a woman, it corresponds to her nature. A man, like a battery, can only be recharged by affection from a woman, and then return it back to her, to her children, parents and friends. Women who don't understand male nature, often with a claim in their voice they say: - Well, why is it difficult for you to talk to me affectionately? When you are kind to me, then I will be kind to you. This is how selfishness and stupidity behave. In relationships, it breathes coldness and alienation. A man must first be charged with the energy of affection from a woman, nourish his heart with affection, in order to then generously pour it out on people dear to his heart.

Petr Kovalev

Your job is to stand behind and not climb, stupid, - Hawk cuts off and wipes fresh blood from the two-handed gun, while Anders hastily conjures over her sister's ripped thigh. Bethany silently endures pain and endures resentment. She rushed to intercept the enemy, wanting to protect Hawke, and now she feels guilty.

It's hard not to be angry with her, but Bethany began to get used to it from childhood: Hawk always cursed. She pulled Bethany out of the swamp and scolded them for their clumsiness, pulling off both of their wet shirts. She carried Bethany's broken leg in her arms and grumbled all the way home. She covered the deep cuts left by the wild rose thorns and scolded Bethany for her inattention. She put out the veil that had caught fire from careless magic and screamed terribly. She had never been so hard on Carver. Bethany was very offended and quarreled with her a lot, until she realized that Hawk just loved her more than him.

Much stronger.

Hawk can't be gentle. Hawk doesn't know how to be affectionate. Hawke is exaggeratedly rude and very direct. Bethany is used to this. But she does not know what to do and think when Hawk drags her by the hand into the bedroom and says that he wants her.

Hawk always undresses her herself: she likes to watch Bethany hide in the corner of the bed, in embarrassment hiding behind a blanket, which Hawk immediately rips off. She loves to pull Bethany under her and kiss, lick and bite her lips for a long time, pressing them with her own - dry and thin. She massages Bethany's back roughly, stroking her buttocks or wrinkling her breasts, rubbing her nipples against her nipples. Bethany shivers at the sweet sensation and wants to move her knees, but only tightens her grip on the other's thighs.

Hawk has a special relationship with her breasts: she wraps her hands around them at the base, squeezes, sucks, kisses, tickles with the tip of her tongue. She caresses Bethany until she gets bored, and sometimes wants her so much that she can't stand it in the process, biting her skin with a snarl and shoving her hand between her legs.

One day, Bethany does it for her and for the first time hears how hoarsely and quietly Hawk moans with pleasure.

Now Hawk holds her tightly and slowly runs his tongue along the barely healed, thin and tender scar on his thigh. Bethany lies in front of her, shamelessly spreading her legs, and holds back disappointed sighs: she is wet, she wants Hawk to stop torturing her and lick everything that has leaked from her crotch so that she presses her mouth against her clitoris, sucked it. She wants to at least rub against someone else's knee, so that Hawke smirks and watches how she moves measuredly and squeezes her own nipples, biting her lips with pleasure. She want...

Bethany is aware of what exactly and who she thinks - once she was horrified by such thoughts. Hawk seems to understand everything: he raises his head and watches Bethany with mocking interest. Then, without warning, she enters her with rough fingers - Bethany closes her eyes and moves towards her. She forgets about her bewilderment, her indecision, that she does not know how to communicate with her own sister now.

And he remembers it less and less.

Psychology of love Ilyin Evgeny Pavlovich

8.1. What is affection and why do people need it?

In the Dictionary of the Russian Language by S.I. Ozhegov, caress is defined as a manifestation of tenderness, love; kind, friendly, tender attitude to someone. But in psychological dictionaries this word is absent. It turns out that this is a psychological phenomenon-phantom: it seems to be there, but it is as if it is not there. Perhaps the Soviet past is having an effect, when the idea was introduced into the minds of people that lisping and other “veal tenderness” are bourgeois prejudices, a manifestation of philistinism and only hinder the builders of communism.

Weasel functions are diverse.

Communicative - with the help of affection show their friendly attitude.

Manipulative - with the help of affection achieve the desired goals.

With a kind word you will melt the stone.

Proverb

Regulatory- with the help of affection, they calm an upset person, create peace in him; caress excite sexual desire with intimate relationships(It is not for nothing that caressing techniques are a constant object of consideration in sexology).

Lack of tenderness gives rise to rudeness, rigidity in a person. But an excess of affection can turn into weakness, a contemplative, inactive attitude to life.

The means of expressing affection, as well as the means of communication in general, are diverse and are divided into verbal and non-verbal.