When a wife beats her husband. Why a man insults and beats a woman

Domestic assault is not uncommon, but here is a situation where woman hitting her husband- still from the category of atypical. Why do women, fragile and delicate creatures, show aggression towards the stronger sex? Why does such a stereotype of behavior arise as a showdown in a fistfight between spouses?

In most cases, men do not dare to respond to the aggression of their spouse with similar actions, either because they are afraid not to calculate their strength, or because of their gentle nature, or they do not take such “pranks” seriously at all. As a result, there are deplorable consequences in the form of injuries and injuries, and sometimes even more serious crime dramas. It is difficult to calculate the exact number of families where women act as aggressors - men are ashamed to admit that they suffer from the female "hard hand". And men rarely seek help in such cases. At the same time, not only “slobbers and sissies”, but also quite brutal machos become victims of beatings!

Beats means love?

This old saying has not justified itself for a long time: the manifestation of aggression and beating is not a sign of love and an excess of feelings, but a sign of the existence of problems in a relationship. But many of the men take this fact for granted (“I was at fault - so I got a frying pan! It’s my own fault!”) At the same time, men do not often resist, subconsciously realizing that a woman is weaker and will not cause severe damage, but it seems to be easier for her , "let off steam" and calm down. But due to this behavior and due to the general change in the balance of power in recent years, the number of domestic "rapists" has increased dramatically. More and more women are trying on typical male tyrannical behavior. And psychologists note the number of cases when men turn to them on the issue of assault on their dearest wife and the impossibility of getting out of such situations on their own ...

Reasons... in my head

Usually, the deepest reasons for dissolving hands in relation to your partner (or legal spouse) are deep psychological trauma, peculiarities of upbringing, or any other reasons. So, the women themselves, who quite allow themselves to beat men, say that they do it because of revenge or dissatisfaction with the behavior of their spouse. He constantly throws socks at random, laughs at her shortcomings, he doesn’t like what she cooks - well, how not to give a cuff for such a thing? And by the way, these are far from ladies of the build of bodybuilders and weightlifters - they are often fragile, thin, and not at all like the Kabanikha from the play by A. Ostrovsky ladies. For the manifestation of aggression, they also do not need to be a breadwinner and breadwinner in the family at all, they can be housewives.

There is another “risk group” - girls who were older sisters in a large family, who allowed themselves to assault younger brothers, sisters, or women who were rudely treated by their first sexual partner at a “tender age” (a kind of revenge on all men, expressed in violence over your own spouse).

I am like a mother!

Often, female aggression and stereotypes of behavior in one's own family are laid down in childhood, from the example of one's own family. If a girl from childhood sees how woman hitting her husband at the subconscious level, she has a similar model for clarifying relationships as quite acceptable for her own future relationships. Then it is quite possible that in her family life a woman will sooner or later use force, and if her husband does not stop such attacks in time, they will become a habit. In family life, this is always the case - one allows for the time being, the second uses it.

Aggression in family relationships is a common occurrence not only in Russia, but also in Western countries. The statistics of domestic violence is very alarming: according to studies, every hour in our country one woman dies from male aggression. The reasons for the aggressive behavior of a man can be complexes, alcohol. However, most victims of domestic violence continue to live with a domestic tyrant in the hope of re-educating him.

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Causes of aggression

When a person takes out anger and accumulated negativity on a weaker one, this indicates serious problems. At least - about the impossibility of correctly splashing out negative emotions, the maximum - about a mental disorder.

The main reasons why a man repeatedly raises his hand to a woman:

• Childhood spent in an aggressive environment. Often a guy or a man acting as a "kitchen fighter" himself in childhood became a victim of aggression from his father or mother, or saw such a relationship between his parents. Therefore, he perceives physical impact on a person as the only correct punishment. Anything can be a reason for assault: a broken plate, a tasteless dinner, jealousy, a bad mood. So a man demonstrates his dominance and at the same time "teaches" his wife how to live correctly.
• Alcohol, drugs. A person who is in an inadequate state can raise a hand against a woman. In such cases, when a man comes to his senses, he sincerely asks for forgiveness, repents, assures that he loves immensely. After a while, the whole situation repeats itself over and over again.
• Complexes, self-doubt. A man who does not know how to prove his dominance in a social environment, who experiences humiliation from others (work, friends), sometimes becomes a real domestic tyrant. From the outside, this person gives the impression of being soft and gentle. The mask of a respectable citizen breaks down in the family, and loved ones suffer from his rage and dissatisfaction in life.
• Sadism. This is a mental deviation, and in such situations, the sadist will not even need a formal reason for "shaking". Such a man justifies himself by the fact that the woman herself forced him to raise his hand. A sadist will punish a woman with a fist, a belt, a telephone wire - and to do this with enviable regularity.

Many outsiders believe that the victim is the cause of the violence. She allegedly gives him a reason for aggression: humiliates, insults, behaves inappropriately with other men. Psychology claims that this is not so: the same jealousy or words of insult can lead a man to an emotional breakdown, but if in a fit of uncontrollable rage he hit a woman at least once, you should not justify such an act and leave it unpunished.

Man looks away when meeting eyes

female reaction

In no case should you let the situation take its course and forgive even a single blow. And it doesn't matter if a man hits a woman lightly in the face or hard in the pope. If he did this as a punishment or as a result of a breakdown, this is an occasion to think about further relationships.

Women who once "taught a lesson" often justify the despot, blaming themselves or an unfortunate set of circumstances. They forgive the man and do not understand that they are giving the green light to the release of his future aggression.

The situation in which a man hit a woman and was immediately forgiven can be repeated many times.

A woman who does not radically try to solve the situation with assault dooms herself to an unenviable fate. If the "kitchen fighter" is heated by alcohol, her life is in real danger. In such situations, it is always worth remembering that at any moment the family tyrant will switch to other pets - animals, children, elderly parents. Justifying the man who beats her, the lady dooms her loved ones to suffering, primarily children. Even if a negligent husband does not touch them with a finger, a childhood spent in an atmosphere of aggression will leave a negative imprint on their future life.

Reasons why a woman forgives a man who hits her:

• Beat means love. One of the most false popular assertions. No amount of love will justify the physical impact on a loved one.
• material dependency. The victim does not part with the aggressive spouse or cohabitant and forgives him due to lack of money and his own home. She has nowhere to go.
• "I will re-educate him." A dangerous delusion that threatens to lead to a real tragedy. Women bind themselves by joint bonds with a man who has previously "proven" himself on the aggressive side, in the hope that it is with them that he will be different: good and kind. In 99 cases out of 100, the miraculous transformation of a "monster" into a person does not occur.
• Pity for the beloved man. One of the most common female self-deceptions, threatening to turn into chronic masochism. The victim, having received in full, begins to feel sorry for his tormentor, accusing himself of provocations. The more often such situations arise, the more the most affected woman needs psychological help.

What to do?

Psychologists, speaking of domestic violence, draw a clear line between a single physical impact and regular beatings. But even a single breakdown on a woman is a wake-up call that is worth listening to. In such a situation, you need to talk heart to heart with your husband or loved one, make it clear that by hitting a woman, he crosses the line, after which there will only be parting.

Of course, there are exceptions to any rule. Of course, in this imperfect world there are maniacs, rapists, murderers, whose atrocities cannot be explained, understood and forgiven in any way. There are also potential scum who take out their complexes on those who are weaker than them, and their behavior is beyond reason.

The story of a woman beaten by her man has already made a lot of noise. According to her, having parted with her young man the day before, she found him in her bed, where he began to beat her.

December 27, around 5 am

I wake up at the sound of my name. My boyfriend is sitting on me. M. fixes my arms and legs in such a way that I cannot move, and starts to beat: strikes on the head and face. He screams that my friends and I have a conspiracy against him. After perhaps two dozen strokes, he stopped and said: “Now this is your true face, Anechka.”

I switch off. When I woke up, I saw that there was a lot of blood. It's from the nose. I go to the bathroom, I shake. M. has the phone, so I can't call for help. It doesn't occur to me to run away from the apartment. Probably due to shock.

The public, having read the diary revelations, boiled over. It is understandable - a villain among us! Unless, of course, everything happened exactly as described by citizen Anna Zhavnerovich, 28 years old.

At first glance, what happened is an atrocity. Attack, ride, beat. All this seems beyond the bounds of humanity, all this is the behavior of a maniac.

Not at all justifying this bastard, I wanted to understand: what made a man do this?

According to Anna, they met for two years. The young man even managed to propose to her, but everyday troubles, as often happens, brought the relationship to naught. Moreover, they ended with the beating of the girl and her desire to plant her former roommate.

Reading excerpts from Anna's diary, I immediately felt false. Well, you must admit: a man cannot be good, adequate and kind for years, and then suddenly turn into a maniac.

I'm also sure: he who raised his hand to the weak is a schmuck, a bastard, a beast. But no less than this, I am sure that in most cases, women themselves provoke men to assault. And they do it consciously.

No, this is my opinion in no way justifies those who beat their wives. But I understand what drives them.

There is a type of women who consider themselves bitches. No, they are most often not bitches, they just try to bend their men under the heel in all respects. Why do they need this is a question for psychiatrists, a whole bunch of problems with the head is possible there. But the fact remains that they behave this way.

She is hysterical, blackmailing by quitting, flirting with friends, calling him a loser, developing a guilt complex. She does everything to lead him to the conclusion that he is worse than her. Below the class, unworthy, and that she, all such, spreading, is for his happiness.

Men are psychologically weaker than us. They easily fall into the coordinate system where they are rotten. They quickly give up, deflate, begin to fawn, please, which gives rise to an even more serious attack on the part of the concubine.

In the end, having bent, humiliated and trampled, she decides to leave him. That's right, why would she be weak?

He is at that moment in complete inadequacy. For several months he tried to comply, licked his heels, humiliated himself and all for nothing? Here the man realizes that he has long ceased to be a man, but has turned into a rug for wiping his feet.

All this is called affect in the language of jurisprudence - a strong emotional excitement, expressed in a short-term, but rapidly flowing mental reaction (rage, horror, despair, anger, etc.), during which consciousness and the ability to think are narrowed, and the ability to control one's actions is weakened. An event that a person is not able to accept due to great fear of its occurrence often leads to a state of passion.

In the case of such “bitches”, a man restrains himself for a long time, trying to somehow correct the situation, but one fine day he receives the news that he was abandoned. This becomes the catalyst for a violent reaction.

The day before, Anna's boyfriend received this news, and in the morning Anna woke up from the beatings. All this fits perfectly into the textbook picture of the sick relationship that I described above.

No, I don't want to justify those who beat women even of this type. These are weaklings, nonentities, but the problem is that literally any man can turn out to be like that.

If he had not met such a woman, he would have lived a happy life, never raising his hand to anyone. Everyone would consider him normal, correct, kind. The way most men are who are lucky enough not to run into rubbish.

On the contrary, a woman who is beaten like this will constantly face violence in her life. No, not because she is subconsciously looking for similar men, as would-be psychologists assure us. The point is different, in her relationship from a normal man she will constantly educate the villain, cultivating complexes in him.

And the men - what are the men? All of them are weak in this regard. Most of them will break down and become those who are able to raise a hand against a woman.

Despite the fact that purely humanly I feel sorry for the victim Anna, her behavior is disgusting to me no less than the behavior of her former roommate. Today she wants to plant him, and maybe that's right. For their mistakes, albeit made out of weakness of character, people must answer so as not to repeat them in the future.

But in her resentment - although, with whom, besides herself, should she be offended? - Anna shames her ex by leaking personal information about him, and runs into the police, stating that the case is not going ahead, although the law enforcement officers quite correctly interpret the incident as a domestic affair.

The main question is, what lesson will Anna herself draw from this? None, I'm afraid. However, like all those girls who cannot understand what I just wrote about.

Insults and assault in the family are a touchy subject. Many of the fair sex, faced with psychological aggression or physical abuse from their beloved, try to hide this fact. However, hushing up such a serious problem will not lead to anything good. Why does a man insult and beat his woman: what is the psychology of a tyrant? Let's talk about it.

Your relationship with your loved one is harmonious, and you are sure that you have found true happiness, but suddenly the unexpected happens - instead of words of love, your partner begins to insult you, be rude and scream. Why did it happen? The psychology of relationships is a complex science, in any situation there are nuances, but if a man insults a woman, then this is definitely not worth enduring. It is necessary to find the reason for the change in his behavior and try to restore the former harmony. If this fails, end the relationship, because insults and humiliation are often harbingers of assault. In addition, constant stress can provoke prolonged depression.

The psychology of the sexes is very different, so it is difficult for many of the fair sex to understand why a man insults his woman. In most cases, this is how the husband wants to establish himself at the expense of his wife. As a rule, the "domestic tyrant" cannot boast of significant achievements in life, but strives to be the "leader of the pack." Men with complexes psychologically try to "crush" their wife, attacks occur when the husband feels that his wife is superior to him in many ways. With the help of humiliation, a man tries to make his beloved insecure, to lower her self-esteem. This also happens when the gentleman is afraid of losing his companion.

Important! The psychology of a tyrant's actions can have many reasons, you need to think not about why a man humiliates and insults a woman, but how to solve this problem and whether it is worth holding on to this relationship at all.

No need to endure humiliation. Try talking to your lover, but if that doesn't work, leave. If psychological aggression is familiar to you firsthand, and a child is growing up in your family, then you should not look for an answer to the question of why a man yells at a woman, but urgently protect the baby from conflicts, psychology knows many cases when the situation repeats itself. That is, if a boy sees how his father regularly humiliates his mother, he can adopt such behavior towards his wife in the future. A girl from a family where her mother suffers humiliation often believes that this is the psychology of all members of the stronger sex, and the question does not even occur to her why a man is rude to a woman and whether this is right. Why ruin the life of yourself and your child?

Man hitting a woman

“Beats means loves” - there is nothing more absurd than this well-known phrase. The psychology of more than one generation of the fair sex was formed on this phrase, many still believe that if a man raised his hand to his woman, then there is nothing to worry about. The victim can hear from acquaintances “It’s her own fault”, “Be patient” and much more, so many girls hide the fact that the partner allows himself to be beaten. This is not a normal situation, in most cases the only way to solve the problem is to break the relationship, but there are exceptions. For example, if a man does not beat a woman regularly, but only once raised his hand in a quarrel, being at the peak of emotions: the female psychology is such that they are ready to forgive the misdeeds of their loved ones if they have an explanation.

Important! Before forgiving a blow, a slap or a push, make sure that your partner is really sincerely repentant and understands that such a situation a priori cannot happen again.

Relationship psychology describes many reasons why a man hits a woman. As a rule, insecure, notorious representatives of the stronger sex allow themselves to be beaten, but sometimes successful men also “relieve irritation” in this way. If a boy saw domestic violence as a child, then as an adult, he can copy the behavior of his father. Psychology cannot answer the question why a man raises his hand against a woman when the origins of the problem lie in another area: for example, alcohol and drug addicts are prone to assault, people with mental disorders.

Attention! Many girls at the dawn of a relationship with a partner allow him, as if jokingly, to say offensive words addressed to him, to jokingly demonstrate physical strength. This is a big mistake, a joke in the future can develop into real aggression.

These are the answers to the question: “Why does a man beat a woman?” i foundInternet in different forums at the time. It was this question that led me to study psychology. It was thanks to him that I went to various training programs and trainings. I wanted to improve my relationship with my wife! And I didn't know what to do? I didn't know why this happens in our lives if we love each other so much. Why do our quarrels reach the point of assault? I needed an answer. And, to be honest, in my opinion, the answer: “If a man beats a woman, then this is not a man, but a rag” is the most stupid one. Forgive me women who have suffered from their men, but this answer does not explain anything. Such an answer is more like an attempt to express one's resentment towards a man, take revenge on him and somehow explain his behavior. But in fact, this does not explain his behavior in any way. And even more so does not give answers to the question: “What to do with it?”. Even if you say that a man is mentally ill, this explains his behavior more than the word "rag".

I am sincerely convinced that any man who loves his woman wants the best for her. He does everything in his power to make her happy! The question is, what is happening to him that he comes to assault? Let's discard cases in which a man is really seriously mentally ill and unable to control his actions, or is an alcoholic, drug addict, etc. Although, even these cases can be analyzed, but not in this article. Let's consider the case when a man loves his woman, is mentally healthy and can control his actions. Does such a man really want to beat his wife? Hardly. What's the point of this? But why then does this happen? What is wrong with him: low self-esteem, inability to stand up for himself? He cannot fight back against the stronger one, so he takes it out on the weaker one? There is some truth in this, but only if we consider this issue from the position that only a man is responsible for such behavior in the family.

In any relationship, two are responsible. Not all women will agree with me, but that's the way it is. It is not easy to accept the fact that spouses influence each other. That it costs one of them to change behavior, how it will lead to a different outcome of events. “But how is that? Is it he who beats me? How can he? I don't hit him, do I? What did I do to him?" Have you tried to understand your man. Why is he behaving like this? What happens to him the moment he raises his hand to you? The thing is, you can blame a man for being a rag, but you can also blame a woman. There is a famous proverb: “If the third husband also beats you in the face, maybe it’s not the husband, but the face?”. Let women forgive me again for such a saying. I have no intention of offending anyone or protecting anyone. I myself have gone through all this and I know how painful it is, and how difficult it is.

But still, why is this happening? Why does a woman leave a man who beats her, finds a more decent man, but even he starts to beat her over time? So, after all, this woman somehow does something that brings a man to assault. So what then, is the woman to blame? No. Two people are responsible!

You can blame a man, you can blame a woman, but if they love each other and want to improve relations, then the accusations will not work.

I know women who threatened their husbands: “If you hit me again, I will call the police. Or I will find those who will deal with you! But the thing is, it won't work. A man under the influence of fear will not stop beating his wife. He feels so guilty about it! And besides, he is also afraid. Fear of seriously harming your wife. Fear of losing your wife. Fear of being alone.

A man beats his woman for a reason. He beats her because she hurts his deep spiritual wounds, consciously or unconsciously. We all come from childhood! And everyone has their own story. In addition, in relationships, people behave the way their parents behaved in relationships. In childhood, we unconsciously adopt the script of relationships between our parents and then begin to live this script in our future families. But, since the husband has one scenario (of his family of origin), and the wife has another (of her family of origin), often these scenarios may not coincide. And most of the time it does! Then there are conflicts! After the candy-bouquet stage, people begin to correct each other: “You are not acting like a real man! (not like my dad)”, “And you don’t act like a woman at all! (not like my mom). Yes, on the one hand, we want to correct our soul mate so that it becomes more consistent with the image that we have developed on the basis of our parental family. But on the other hand, we find our soul mate based on our experience in the parental family. So, a well-known fact is that a man is looking for a woman who looks like his mother, and a woman is looking for a husband who looks like her father. And so it is in the early stages of a relationship. But then it turns out that our woman is not our mother at all, and our husband is not our father at all, and then the process of sorting out the relationship begins.

But still, why does it sometimes happen that the process of sorting out the relationship is not limited to scandals and screams? Again, this all goes far from childhood and parental families. The child sees how his parents swear and, again, unconsciously remembers this scenario. If you analyze all your quarrels with your husband or wife, you will find that all of them (well, almost all of them) follow the same scenario. Most often, one person starts a quarrel, then the other person somehow reacts to this, then the quarrel heats up, it comes to a climax, after that comes detente and reconciliation. It is very useful to analyze who in the family usually starts a quarrel and what exactly triggers the process of decoupling events. It is very interesting after this to discover that exactly the same scenario occurred in the parental families of a husband and wife. We do not just choose our soul mate. Not just converge two family systems! They complement each other perfectly! And our task is to find reconciliation! Learn to live together with mutual respect for yourself, your partner, your parents and your partner's parents.

As I already wrote, the child sees how his parents swear and at the same moment he learns how he will sort things out with his future partner. If a father beats his mother, then it is very likely that their son will beat his wife. And he will meet a wife whose father also beat her mother. But it happens that the father does not beat the mother, and in the future young family the husband begins to be his wife. Why is this happening here? The fact is that even if the father does not beat the mother, this does not mean that he does not have such an impulse. Most likely, he knows how to control himself very well. But it often happens that after a quarrel he goes to smoke or gets drunk. That is, he has aggression and does not go anywhere. A healthy option is when two people shouted, expressed their dissatisfaction to each other, then calmed down and agreed on how to avoid such a misunderstanding in the future. And in the unhealthy - someone suppresses their aggression, which then results in beatings, alcohol or smoking. Do you think a man wants to be a woman? Of course not! He just controlled himself for so long that he simply can no longer restrain himself and his body is simply forced to somehow react.

Also, tendencies towards the use of physical force are observed in families where there is no respect for a man. What does it mean? This means that any action of a man is controlled by his wife and is constantly criticized. Any merit of his is taken for granted and devalued, and any mistake is emphasized and inflated to a large extent. “What kind of a man are you? You can't do anything! Give it here, I'll do better." - a man perceives these phrases very painfully, and he has no choice but to prove that he is a man through the use of physical force.

It is also a frequent case when the father does not beat the mother, but beats the child - the future husband or wife. The father can't afford to hit his wife, so there's nothing left for himhow to drive your anger on a child. And the child will already have experience for the future, how to behave in his future family. And in fact he will not be his wife, he will beat his abuser! The wife will remind him of his evil father! Or vice versa - she will remind him of his mother, who, in front of the child, said hurtful things to his father, thereby humiliating both him and his father.

The fact is that women are morally stronger than men. Their physical strength is not so developed, so they resort to moral pressure on manhood. A man is not able to endure such a psychological onslaught for a long time and is forced to either run away or attack. Moreover, as I have already written, a wife can unconsciously "grope for" weak points - childhood traumas of her husband and remind them in her own words.

And in fact, that's not what everyone wants! A woman, humiliating her husband, saying offensive words to him, wants something completely different: “Say that you love me! Give me a hug! Tell me everything will be fine!" And the man wants the following: “Stop humiliating me. Say I'm good! Say that you love me!". But if only it were that easy to move on from your injuries and just stop fighting. The closest people touch the deepest wounds and it is very difficult to cope with this.

So what to do? How can a husband stop beating his wife, and how can a wife stop bringing her husband to the point where he raises his hand against her?

I want to say a few more words about the difference in the characteristics of the psyche between a man and a woman. To cope with stress, it is important for a woman to speak out, and for a man, on the contrary, to be in silence, calm down and calm his thoughts. That is why, a woman in a quarrel begins to attack a man with words, and a man wants to run away from his wife's screams. At the same time, if the wife cannot speak out, her stress increases, and the man's stress increases when he cannot escape from the unfolding conflict. It would seem a vicious circle… But the very realization of such a difference in the psyche can help a lot! Already one respect for the fact that a woman needs to speak out, and a man to be alone can significantly reduce the duration and strength of a quarrel.

For a husband, first of all, it will be important to stop blaming himself. It's not easy, yes! But without this step, everything else will be useless! It is important to accept such a quality in yourself: “Yes, I am able to hit my beloved woman! Do I want this?- No. But so far I can't do it any other way. But I will definitely learn to do without it!”. The next step is to find safe ways to respond to the aggression. As I have already written, a man beats a woman because he is no longer able to control his anger. And this anger is not accumulated in 5 minutes or even 15. This anger has been accumulated for years! Most often, such men are very respectable in society. No one will think that they can hit a woman. However, in reality, these men have a lot of repressed aggression. They suppress it on the street, at work, and at home they are simply unable to restrain themselves. Sports will be very useful for such men! It may also be helpful to engage in creative activities, where they can respond to their aggression. But I don’t mean that creativity, where everything is beautiful, but that,where pain, anger and despair are expressed. As an example, it could be a way to paint your anger with black ink on paper. I had an experience with a teenage girl who had a lot of repressed aggression and drew all sorts of monsters. But at the same time, her parents did not like it and they wanted her to draw butterflies and angels. So, angels and butterflies will not help, while a bunch of monsters are sitting in the soul. First you need to free these monsters, and then fill your soul with butterflies and angels.

It is also helpful for men to start taking their aggression out of the house and out into the street. Change the place of its manifestation! If you previously kept silent about the fact that you were rude, pushed, stepped on your foot, start at least just expressing your dissatisfaction. Even mumbling to myself! Remember that any repressed aggression you will bring home to your beloved wife. Do you want to share it with her? Unlikely.

And one more important recommendation - be aware! What does it mean? Firstly, monitor your condition - when it boils up and somehow begin to react to it. Declare: “Now I can already hit. I need a break! I need to calm down." Start swearing - not at your wife, but simply in order to voice your condition. Start pounding the couch! You don't need a wall, you can hurt yourself! And the sofa is soft, it's safer. And what does it mean to be conscious - is it to understand who you are actually angry with right now? Who do you really want to punch in the face right now?

For the wife, the recommendations will be as follows. The first is to realize that your man can hit you. And he will do this not because he is bad, and not because you are bad, but because he has deep wounds in his soul and he cannot yet cope with them. Learn to track exactly what your behavior is, what words and phrases trigger yourhusband's outbursts of anger. And stop using these words, phrases and demonstrating such behavior. Learn to track the moment when your husband is already on edge and ready to hit you and pause at that moment. Better earlier. Give your husband the opportunity to be alone with yourself. If you see that he wants to leave, let him go! When he calms down - he will return! Then he can hug you and ask for forgiveness! In the quarrel itself, avoid offensive words that reflect the identity of the husband: “rag, cattle, scoundrel” and much more offensive. Yes, this is insulting for a man, but by doing so you will only cause a powerful outburst of anger in him. It's better to say, "Your behavior is bad. It really hurts me when you do that!" I know it's not easy! And you can’t change it at once, but over time, it will make everything easier and easier and will become natural. And quarrels will be softer and end faster.

Another effective way is to help the husband realize who his aggression is really directed at. If it’s for mom, then at the moment of a flash of anger, say: “I’m not your mom - I’m your wife!”. Same thing with dad. At first, this may cause a reaction of bewilderment in the husband. But after repeating such a phrase several times, he will begin to think about whether he is really so angry with you?

And, of course, respect your man! Whatever he is, he deserves respect! He does his best to make you happy! And he does his best to stop hurting you.

I know that the process of working with aggression is very difficult and lengthy! But if there is love and a desire to improve relationships, then everything is possible! Don't expect quick results! Don't expect your husband to stop beating you right away. But over time, this will pass if you constantly work on it.