Is it possible to shift the boundaries of understanding and what to do when you are not understood. What to do when no one understands you


Who to talk to? About what? No body understands me. I'm not like others. I am different and I am alone. Some people are running around for no apparent reason. They scurry here and there. They make noise. It's annoying. What's the point in all this mouse fuss? It’s better to be alone with yourself and calmly think about something really important.

Sometimes it’s not even clear what exactly it’s about, but about the big, about the Eternal, about the necessary. It seems that a little more and I will find this point of support and reveal all these meanings, solve the mysteries of life. I just don’t want anything right now. It's kind of sick inside. Badly. It's like a stone on my soul. Crushed. It's really hard. Viscous, disgusting. There are only idiots around.

“Get away from me, everyone. Don't interfere, don't interfere. Don't talk nonsense. You make your ears swell. They scream and shout in my ear. Got it. Let me be alone. No, so that they say something smart, otherwise they talk all kinds of nonsense. Clinic, you say? "Ward №6 "? And it was my fate to be born among such fools at such an inopportune time. How to live with this environment? What is the meaning of my life?

According to System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan, representatives of the sound vector tend to experience feelings of loneliness and misunderstanding. Where a vector is a set of innate qualities of a person that determine his values ​​and worldview.

The presence of a sound vector in a person gives him a special desire to search for the meaning of life. Often this desire is not realized by the sound artist, but despite this, he strives with all his being to fulfill it. And all its properties are capable of providing and filling this desire.

The primitive role of such a person in nature is the night guard of the pack. His sound analyzer - the ear - is created in a special way. This is a sensitive organ that is capable of picking up any rustles and sounds in the silence of the night, many times more acutely than other people. Then the task of any sound engineer was to listen intently to the sounds of the night in order to warn everyone of the danger. Therefore, even today, being in darkness, silence and loneliness is their natural feature.

The sound vector is the ability to create abstract forms and categories. Abstract intelligence enables its owner to imagine and comprehend the concepts of the intangible world. Subtle hearing, abstract intelligence and the desire to find the meaning of life underlie the creation of languages, music, philosophy, religions and the exact sciences - physics and mathematics.

Modern computer geniuses are all sound engineers. They may not be able to hammer a nail into the wall or fix the faucet in the kitchen, but they can easily understand the latest computer technologies and other abstruse inventions of mankind or prove a super theorem.

According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, there are only about 5% of people with the sound vector, and this is the only vector that does not carry material desires. Therefore, the sound artist, in his desires to comprehend abstract concepts and meanings, often feels his loneliness and lack of understanding of those around him.

His sensitive hearing is designed to capture the subtlest vibrations of the surrounding world and, accordingly, brilliant ideas can arise in him. He hears everything much stronger and brighter than others. Therefore, he cannot stand loud screams or roaring sounds. Often exposed to stress from humanity screaming around him, he gradually closes inside himself.

The sound artist is a genius in his potential. And when he withdraws into himself, he feels inside that he is not like everyone else: “I am special. I'm genius!" This feeling sucks him even deeper inside himself, where the sound artist continues his search in silence, emptiness and loneliness.

In his quest to understand the meaning of life, the sound artist unconsciously strives to influence his consciousness. Reading mountains of esoteric literature, searching for oneself in religions, transforming consciousness in meditation, studying psychology and psychiatry - these are all sound searches.

"I am looking for changes in consciousness to reveal the meaning of Life." I don’t know how to do this and I do it the best I can - any effect on the brain will do. Everything is used: from meditation and poisonous hallucinogenic mushrooms to drugs. At their core, drug addicts are all sound people. In this version, not a trace of genius remains. But instead - a complete disconnection from the outside world, withdrawal from people into a black viscous hole to the very bottom of deep depression.


"I'm not like everyone else. No one understands me." Severe depressive states lead the zvukovik to the point of leaving life, the meaning of which he never found. At such moments, the sound artist feels his body as a “dungeon for the soul” - the body is separate, the soul is separate. The soul is dark and cramped. The soul wants to be free. There is no fear of death, there is only a boundless desire to change consciousness, which rushes out to look for its meaning.

Is it really that bad? And what should naturally brilliant people do? How to avoid becoming crazy, embittered, a drug addict? Will life really pass in endless loneliness in search of elusive meanings?

I'm not alone

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan - practical knowledge about the human soul. It reveals our true nature. Shows all our hidden unconscious desires, which the sound artist strives to reveal and understand.

“...No matter what I do in life, but this damn question “why?” I was killing interest in everything... So the 1st level of system-vector psychology classes are coming to an end. I feel like my rusty consciousness, with a roar and grinding sound, begins a turning maneuver like a heavy icebreaker stuck in hummocks. I feel like the scabs and scabs are falling off my soul covered with dried blood, revealing a brand new and shiny magnesium-titanium board. I feel like I, a transforming robot destroyed by a rocket, am starting to put myself back together piece by piece. There is a lot of work ahead, but I have already received the first pages of mathematically precise assembly instructions from system-vector psychology. This is just the beginning...”
Mikhail P., financial analyst

“...Based on MY abilities and understanding of the essence of the matter, I am already moving towards my goal - understanding myself. There are more questions, but these are questions of a different level, which means I am growing. I have no time to regret my life, and I no longer wait for old age, like a vegetable, for this nightmare to end. I gained an understanding of my abilities. It turned out that I was beating around the bush for a long time, not knowing what field to apply myself to, not understanding myself. Today I haven’t yet decided specifically what I will do, because there are so many opportunities around that it’s difficult to choose just one...”
Evgenia B., designer


You can understand yourself, your nature and discover the genius within yourself at free nightly online lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Registration via link.

The article was written using materials

First you need to figure out who this “nobody” is. Most likely, this someone is a specific person, perhaps a friend or acquaintance, a teacher or parent. Of course, it’s very sad when no one wants to listen to you, no one understands, but often there is something else hidden behind this. Your expectations from a relationship may not coincide with people's ideas about how to communicate, how to listen to your feelings, and they may experience similar experiences. But you can begin to establish mutual understanding and learn, first of all, to find support within yourself.

First, try to understand what “to be understood” means to you. What exactly do you expect from people, what behavior, what reactions and actions, and what, on the contrary, is unacceptable for you.

Do the following exercise:

Write a short essay, continuing the phrase: “I want (here you need to write the specific name of someone who doesn’t understand you - for example, Vasya or Tanya) to understand that I... when...”.

This way it will become clearer to you what exactly you want to explain to them, what you want to convey to them, what message you are conveying to them. Perhaps you just want them to listen to you and not give you judgments or unnecessary advice.

Then the following short essay: “And they, it seems to me, think that I...” This will make it clearer to you exactly what they don’t understand you about. Just don’t brush it off like “I already know all this!” Once you write, chances are that your perspective will actually change.

And then think that it is those who do not understand you who are trying to convey to you. And why do they do it, and how do they feel about it?

And think again and ask yourself an honest question - do you want understanding or approval? Because these are different things, and our actions will not always be approved by those around us. Moreover, we may be listened to and understood, but not supported by our position and actions.

For example, parents may understand that their child wants to quit school because heavy workloads and some subjects are difficult, but they are not going to approve such a decision and will insist that the child cope with it anyway and pass all educational tests.

But they will always listen and support if you have a difficult situation at school. For example, the desire to quit school may be influenced by a conflict with someone in the class - either the teacher was too demanding or unfair. Parents, of course, will be ready to support and understand, give advice, perhaps allow you to take a break and distract yourself and restore strength, but this does not mean that you can expect them to understand and support the protest against the school.

Be that as it may, it is important that you understand yourself and can support yourself in difficult times... In those moments when it seems to you that no one wants to listen to you, and you cannot get support and understanding, try to find a resource and support , continuing 2 phrases:

I can handle this situation because I have...

No matter what happens, I can always...

Add your strong and important qualities to these phrases, remember a specific experience when you managed to cope with a past situation, think about something good and positive! Find those words that may become your slogan and motto in life, like the phrase "The darkest hour before the dawn."

Hello dear readers. Today we will talk about what to do if no one understands you. You will find out for what reasons such an opinion may be formed. You will know how to influence the current situation.

Possible reasons

If you are interested in the question of why no one understands me, then you can try to find the answer to it among the reasons listed below that could influence this.

  1. It may seem this way due to the fact that in life there was a loss of a loved one with whom you shared your experiences and talked about your fears. Now, in fact, you find yourself alone, you don’t know who to open up and trust, you’re afraid to do it.
  2. Children, especially teenagers, feel that no one understands them, especially their parents. Because of this, conflicts often arise in the family, and the child begins to hide something.
  3. People simply don’t try to understand you because they are busy with their own problems, are only interested in your personal life, and don’t give a damn. This is especially appropriate when communicating with.
  4. They don't understand people who behave arrogantly and have the wrong sense of humor.
  5. They don’t want to communicate and don’t understand a person’s behavior if he regularly judges and ridicules everyone behind their back.
  6. It may turn out that you are not understood if you try to tell a person about your problems, about a difficult fate, and he transfers the conversation to another topic. In such a situation, it is important to understand that the world does not revolve around you and people are not very pleased to listen to the tragic story of someone's life, especially if they do not receive empathy in return.
  7. Do not be surprised if you are not understood when you constantly make excuses and cannot keep your word.
  8. You may not be understood if you talk too much. Other people don't really like chatterboxes, especially if they just chatter most of the time and don't convey any information with their statements.
  9. A person may feel that he is not understood if he is sure that only his point of view is correct. Such a person easily denies the opinions of his opponents, and then wonders why no one understands her. In particular, such an opinion may be formed by people who have, who believe that they are the center of the Universe and the whole world should revolve around their needs.
  10. Sometimes a person with low self-esteem may feel that no one pays attention to him, does not listen to his opinion, because he is insignificant and does not deserve universal recognition, does not arouse interest in people with his statements. Sometimes this opinion is unjustified; a person is simply too self-critical of himself.
  11. You can often hear this phrase from girls who are dissatisfied with their lives. In fact, these are mostly her whims, the desire to attract attention to her person.

There was a time in my life when it seemed like no one understood what was important to me. This was during my teenage years. For some time, I began to withdraw into myself; I did not want to share my experiences with my family, because I thought that they didn’t care. As I grew older, my opinion changed and so did my attitude towards people.

  1. Take care to increase your self-esteem if it is low. Love yourself for who you are. If you don’t like something about your appearance, go to a beauty salon or play sports. Remember, if a person loves himself, then people will be drawn to him and will begin to listen to his opinion. Because often an insecure person cannot adequately convey his information to someone. That is why she gets the impression that no one is listening.
  2. If your loved one does not understand you, try to take his place, learn to find compromises, and correctly explain your point of view. It may not be a bad idea to talk with your partner in a calm atmosphere, explain what you feel, talk about what you are going through. Let your partner understand that you do not feel his concern because you think that he does not understand and does not accept you.
  3. Think about whether you are selfish, whether you put yourself first, forgetting about the needs of other people. If this is the whole reason, then it’s high time to reconsider your priorities, start thinking about the problems of other people, and not just about yourself.
  4. Learn to treat other people with respect, don’t think that your problems are the most important and dump them on everyone.
  5. Be calm about the opinions of others and criticism.
  6. If you think that no one can understand you, believe the opposite. Perhaps you lack confidence in your abilities. If you have the opportunity to read specialized literature, improve your intellectual qualities, as well as communication abilities.
  7. Learn to accept your failures more easily, do not think that the reason for everything is that no one understands you.
  8. Don't idealize yourself and the people around you.
  9. A guy can often hear from his beloved that he does not understand her. Perhaps the girl is trying to attract attention to herself in this way, and sometimes even manipulates the young man. If a man truly loves her, he must try to improve the relationship and convince the girl that he understands her needs and desires. If this phrase is heard every time she doesn’t get something she wants, the man must learn to resist this. You cannot allow manipulation by your partner. Talk to the girl, explain that such behavior is unacceptable for your relationship.
  10. When a teenager believes that the whole world is against him, no one understands, no one wants to support or sympathize, then this phenomenon is temporary, his opinion will correct itself as soon as the hormonal levels normalize. However, there are situations when a child perceives this phenomenon very acutely and is even capable of suicidal thoughts. Therefore, parents should be attentive to the behavior of their offspring, monitor his mood, provide timely support, listen to the teenager’s opinion, and include him in solving important family problems.

Now you know that no one understands my opinion, it can often turn out to be erroneous, and the reasons for this state are buried deep in the person himself and are associated with an incorrect assessment of his personality. Learn to approach life differently, rethink your priorities, try to find ways to connect with loved ones.

Hello. Are you having trouble finding someone who is close to you? Do your parents disapprove of your actions? Are your classmates uninteresting and stupid? Do you constantly repeat the phrase in your head - no one understands me? Then you came here correctly! I'll tell you why loneliness is not scary, how to find loved ones and what you need to be happy.

What is loneliness

When you are alone, there are no people nearby, there is no distraction from the TV, the phone is turned off - you have to think. But the person doesn’t like this business terribly. Stress, waste energy, go through the thought process. But this is precisely the most useful side of loneliness.

Just think how many hasty and stupid decisions a person makes. But he would not have made such a mistake if he had just thought for a few minutes.

We are used to thinking on the run, during a break, faster, faster, faster.
If you can say I'm here alone and there's nothing to distract me, great! Take a moment and think. Just think about your life, analyze your actions. There are so many interesting topics to think about.

Girls at 14 years old have a huge number of topics on which they can spend time alone. And boys at sixteen. And at twenty-three, thirty-eight, fifty-five. Do not think that loneliness accompanies a person only at one specific age. It lasts throughout life.

And it is very important to learn how to use such moments correctly.

Don’t think that everything is bad, that no one needs you, that the world is against you. On the contrary, life gives you time to think, a break for analysis, a pause for...

If you feel hostility from others, the world seems embittered and opposed to you, then read the article “”. There is nothing that cannot be fixed, remember this!

Soulmate

We found out that loneliness is not bad, and even good to some extent. But don’t think that you don’t need a person next to you. To each .

Don’t worry if you don’t have such a person nearby right now. You will find him anyway, one way or another. If there are people around you with whom it is difficult for you to communicate, you cannot find common topics for conversation, they do not understand you and consider you strange - that’s okay. The main thing is not to dwell too much on this topic.

Remember that all people are different, everyone has their own cockroaches in their heads. Some people get along with people more easily, while others need a lot of time to let them get closer to them. You are who you are. And you have to be able to love. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Work on problems and work hard on good qualities. We'll talk about this later.

If you suddenly think that your mother doesn’t love you, then be sure to read the article “”. Sometimes it seems to us that it really isn't there. Maybe your parents are having serious problems right now and are paying little attention to you. And that doesn't mean they don't love you!

Finding friends is not that difficult. It is more difficult to maintain this friendship. After all, you have to work on it, and many people don’t understand this. The article “” will help you decide how to meet interesting people. But you’ll have to think for yourself how to proceed.

Live your own life

So, we come to the most interesting part. What if you are lonely? What helps you cope with feelings of abandonment? Where to direct your potential?

Find an area to express yourself. How you will be is entirely your business. This could be writing poetry, drawings, music, modeling airplanes. Whatever comes to your mind!

If you want to take up dancing, but everyone around you will condemn this idea - don’t pay attention. Do what brings you pleasure and joy.

Don't doubt yourself. When I started writing poetry at the age of twelve, they seemed terrible, disgusting and stupid to me. I almost quit this activity. But she pulled herself together and continued. And now I don’t regret it at all. Keep going and don't stop!

Believe me, this may seem boring and unnecessary to you now. But then you will thank yourself. What to do? , go to theaters and museums, study the history of at least your city. This knowledge not only increases your overall level of education, but also trains your brain to constantly work and not stop.

Learn. In order to engage in self-improvement and self-development, you need to understand what is a good motivator. The article “” will help you a lot with this. Once you start doing something, then you get involved in the process and you already get real pleasure.

Smile and don't shut down. They will help the world to constantly see new things, to notice something interesting where no one sees it. If you want to be sociable, but don’t know where to start, then the article “” is especially for you!

Tell me why you feel lonely? What do people not understand you about? Why don't you communicate with your peers? How do your parents treat you? What do you do when you're alone?

Believe me, you are not alone. The whole world is open to you, you just have to look closely!

Support the site:

Mika, age: 14 / 24.11.2016

Responses:

Hello! This happens in life when there is no truly close person. Nevertheless, there is no need to be sad, and especially not to think about death. These thoughts will not help you. The fact that you have good classmates is very important. Still, it is at school that a significant part of the time is spent. Since you are on good terms with them, it means that you are a sociable girl and know how to communicate with people. Be sure to continue communicating with them. You can also make friends with guys from other classes. Surely there are a lot of interesting guys there too. You can enroll in some section or circle. Many young people go to such places. Don’t rule out online dating. Even if a close and pleasant person lives far from your city or even country, it will not prevent you from communicating on a social network or via Skype. By the way, it is better to look for such people on websites or communities of common interests. There are usually people there who have similar views on life. In this case, it is easier to start communication. However, in addition to the huge number of places to find friends, the form of communication itself is also important. Remember - in order to receive attention, support and interest from a person, it is very important to treat him in this way. After all, it’s one thing to have fun when there are a lot of people around, and quite another to show interest in someone alone. If you see that your friend is worried about some problem, it would be very correct to approach him and ask. Help with something, maybe a kind word or advice. Maybe even a matter of business. It’s better to discuss this in private, after class, or stepping aside. Usually a person tries not to show his experiences to the whole class, although something is bothering him. Find out, treat him or her carefully, show that he or she cares about you. Believe me, this will change his or her attitude towards You for the better. You can count on mutual support from this person. You can share anything with him, discuss any issue, knowing that it will be received correctly. Mutual trust will appear, which is very important in true friendship. Don't rush now, don't make a fatal mistake. Believe my personal experience, when real friends appeared after twenty years. Usually such meetings do not happen quickly. And the number of real friends is usually small. I wish you all the best!

Arina, age: 28 / 25.11.2016

Dear Mika! Your mother also has problems, she is busy with all sorts of things and considers you to be an adult who does not need as much attention as your brother. Your mother can’t read minds and doesn’t remember how hard it was for her at 14 years old. Talk to her yourself, tell her how you feel, hug her. Say that you need her attention for 10 minutes, but every day, tell her about school. This is your mom. Sometimes in their bustle, adults forget about their growing children. But you will always be a daughter for your mother! If you get along well with your classmates, organize a meeting outside of school and friendship will appear.

Victoria, age: 35 / 11/25/2016

Hello. Dear Mika, are you interested in mommy’s affairs, her mood, perhaps she has a lot of problems and difficulties, and you could support each other! Get yourself a diary, maybe electronic, with a password, write down your emotions, situations, everything that’s on your soul. A friend must be very good, but if she is not, then do not rush to open up and trust your secrets. I wish you all the best!

Irina, age: 28/11/25/2016

Mika, mom loves you. Try to talk to her frankly... Your classmates love and respect you. So there is a reason.
Don't be sad!

Igor, age: 32 / 12/20/2016


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