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Words of reconciliation with my husband. How to make peace with your husband after a quarrel

Almost impossible to meet married couple, which would avoid scandals, breaking dishes and slamming doors. Does this mean that marital quarrels should be left to chance? Of course not, because it’s very easy to quarrel, but sometimes it’s difficult to make peace with your husband. When we get angry, we say a lot of hurtful and unpleasant words.

However, even having realized our guilt, we are still in no hurry to go for reconciliation - because pride gets in the way. Should we wait for the first steps from a man or should we utter the cherished phrase “I was wrong”? How to quickly make peace with your husband after a quarrel?

The first step towards reconciliation is to forget about the quarrel, stop blaming your husband for something, and remembering the “bad” words he said. If you begin to justify yourself, and “hang all the dogs” on him, it means that you are not yet ready for peace. To reach an agreement, both parties should admit their mistakes. But it is the woman (if she initiates reconciliation) who needs to forget about pride for a while and understand the value of relationships. Having recognized the error of previous behavior, you can sit down at the “negotiating table”.

When preparing for a serious conversation with your husband, you need to remember the features male psychology. It is likely that he is not overcome by such violent emotions as you are. In addition, he is waiting for a direct conversation, and not confused words that do not carry any semantic load for him. If the reason for the quarrel was really extremely serious (for example, betrayal on your part), he may not want to put up with it, since he decided to break up with you completely.

Did you manage to make peace with your husband? You shouldn't rest on your laurels. Relationships after major quarrel rarely become the same, since mentally both the man and the woman constantly return to the words spoken, deeds and actions. Now it is necessary to approach relationships even more responsibly, since constant scandals can cause a final break.

Every marriage and relationship between a man and a woman is unique. Apology methods that work in one cell of society may not work in your situation. What to do? Read the recommendations of psychologists below, try them on yourself and adopt the most effective and efficient ones.

So, how to make peace with your husband after a quarrel?
Clearly identify the cause of the scandal. It is likely that numerous provoking factors simply layered on top of each other, and the real reason is deep inside. Try not to spread yourself thin, but identify exactly the stumbling block that led to the disagreement, and focus completely on it.
Never threaten divorce. If you are accustomed to this method of attracting attention and intimidating, then be prepared for the fact that your husband will respond with consent to such an ultimatum. If you are not satisfied with your spouse’s behavior, tell him about it: “I feel bad without you. I'm afraid I've stopped caring about you."
Control own emotions. The desire to speak out, to throw everything that is boiling up in your husband’s face is quite natural. However, you need to restrain yourself, because someday you will come to a common denominator, and offensive reproaches and evil words will forever be remembered. It is better not to bring conflicts to the boiling point, and if you cannot pacify your temper, it is easier to postpone the conversation altogether for a while.
Let your man cool down. The spouse may not immediately calm down and agree to reconciliation. This woman is able to apologize after a quarter of an hour and consider that the conflict is over. The stronger sex perceives everything much deeper, so just make sure your husband hears you and leave him alone for a while.
Do not complain to your relatives if you once had a fight with your husband. You will definitely forgive your spouse, no matter what the anger and resentment may be, and your friends and parents will remember this conflict. If you do not want to make your relatives hate your husband, try to solve problems together.
Learn to forget the insult. Of course, you need to tell your husband what emotions his action caused you. You can even “pout your lips” a little, even if you have already forgiven him. However, it is impossible to accumulate grievances to present at “one fine moment.” It is more constructive to remember pleasant moments so that in the heat of a quarrel you can remember them.

How to make peace if your husband is to blame?

If you are already tired of the prolonged silence, you can take the first step towards reconciliation, even if the man is to blame for this scandal.

Some women think that making peace with their husband in this case is to show themselves from an unfavorable side, they say, now he will stop apologizing altogether. Of course, each case is individual, and only you can decide how to make peace with your guilty husband.

Try to wait. If guilty spouse always comes to you for forgiveness, it makes sense to wait a little and give him a little time to collect his thoughts. Perhaps it will be the man who will initiate that very repentant conversation; all you have to do is carefully prepare for the responsible conversation.

Take the first step. Men are proud and stubborn creatures; it is extremely difficult for them to admit they are wrong and apologize. Is the “culprit” of the quarrel silent? Believe me, it's not because he stopped loving you. Most likely, he is simply afraid of appearing pliable. You will have to bite the bullet and offer to sit down at the negotiating table.

Don't turn the conversation into another scandal. There is no need to quarrel and make trouble again, even if your husband drives you crazy with his callousness, stubbornness and unwillingness to listen to reasonable arguments. Sample words may be something like this: “It hurts me a lot, but I value our relationship. Let’s discuss the problem that has arisen without yelling and breaking plates.”

What to do if you are at fault?

How to make peace with your husband if you are the one who is wrong in the current situation? Yes, yes, dear ladies, sometimes we too are to blame for quarrels and scandals, and men find themselves in the role of victims. And you should not expect that your man is guided by the motto of the French writer de Croisset: “When a woman is wrong, ask her for forgiveness.” Take the initiative into your own hands!

There is no need to immediately rush to the man with an apology.. Now he is indignant, angry and generally looks like the angry movie Wolverine. Give him time to calm down, cool down and think a little, otherwise he simply will not hear your sincere apologies. After the husband comes to normal location spirit, start taking active action.

Ask for forgiveness with dignity. It is impossible to solve all the problems at once, but it is necessary to demonstrate to the man your repentance. Of course, there is no need to follow your spouse around and beg for “redemption,” because the number of times you say “sorry” does not determine how quickly he will forgive you. Just offer to talk, thereby starting the reconciliation mechanism.

Write SMS. Some people think similar way apologies to children, but it is he who can become the beginning serious conversation. Send your beloved an SMS with poems, pictures, a hint of... nice evening. This will probably help make amends in case of a slight quarrel. In the event of a serious conflict, SMS will help arrange a meeting.

Arrange romantic evening . Are you thinking about how to make peace with your husband? Effective method apologize - a romantic evening. There is no point in describing it in detail. You will need wine, candles, rose petals (if appropriate) and, of course, erotic lingerie. The method of making peace in bed is more suitable for young spouses, but experienced couples can also try it.

Invite a company. Another trick is to invite friends or your mother-in-law to visit. In such good company, a man will be able to relax and, unnoticed by himself, will begin to communicate with you. Is this fair? Of course, it is more correct and decent to simply talk with your spouse, but if he refuses to make contact, such a workaround maneuver will do.

There are many ways to apologize and reconcile, but only you know your chosen one better than anyone in the world, which means it’s up to you to choose how to quickly make peace with your husband after a quarrel. We advise you not to delay the sincere conversation and tender kisses, because it exists high risk to hug not a loved one, but a complete stranger. It is completely wrong to believe that the word “sorry” has no expiration date. Eat! Apologize and make peace with your husband on time.

It would seem that it might be easier to reconcile with a loved one, but as practice shows, it is with our loved ones that we find it most difficult to reconcile. How to make peace with your husband if he is guilty? The difficulty of the situation is explained very simply - we are most susceptible to the actions and actions of our loved ones, and therefore the insults caused by them are the most difficult for us to “survive” and even more so to look at them soberly.

However, if we love, we want to live in peace and harmony, and even when a loved one has been wronged, we long for reconciliation with him.

So why not make peace and forget about the grievances? Moreover, they say so much that only the weak do not forgive.

Many psychologists advise meeting your husband and making peace first. They say that it is easier for a woman to do this, since emotions are her strong point. And this is true, but the whole problem is that it is not a question of forgiveness, because when a woman wants to make peace with her husband, if he is wrong, when she thinks about reconciliation first, then deep down she has already forgiven him.

How to make peace with your husband

And here remains the most main reason, which haunts and which does not allow us to go to reconciliation first - this is the fear that similar situation repeat and this husband’s behavior will become the norm. Fear that by forgiving and being the first to reconcile, she will not only forgive her husband, but will take his guilt upon herself. Thus, she will give her husband the opportunity to continue to offend her without a twinge of conscience. At the same time, she will have nothing left to do but constantly swallow grievances and go to the meeting first.

Now one could say, why do you need such a husband then? It means he doesn’t love you, it means he only thinks about himself and generally disagree with him, but this is all lyrics. People are not perfect, they are carried away, they are often wrong and do not see their mistakes - this is life and reality.

Therefore the most effective way, to show your husband and a person in general his mistakes is to rub his nose in it or make him feel the same for himself.

Actually, this is what you and I will do, because it is not enough to want to make peace with your husband if he is guilty, you need to be able to do it correctly, be able to do it in such a way that the husband realizes his guilt and draws the right conclusions.

How to make peace with your husband if he is to blame

The first thing you need to understand is that the task is not to make your husband feel guilty and ask for forgiveness from you. And to make you understand and realize your mistakes so that they do not repeat again.

Thus, you will have to act very deliberately, probably stepping on your own throat. What can you do, the strength of a relationship does not come out of thin air, but through the ability to manage your emotions.

The husband does not know about his guilt.
Of course, anything can happen, maybe the husband knows about his guilt, just out of pride he doesn’t come up and doesn’t ask for forgiveness. Probably you could have big scandal, in which you openly insulted him for the offense caused, and for this reason he does not approach and does not put up with. But most likely the reason is that the husband is confident that he is right, without seeing what is happening in reality, he looks at the situation from only one point of view and is convinced that the truth is on his side.

Be that as it may, there are reasons with which he justifies himself, so there is no need to get angry and convince yourself that he is an insensitive egoist, that he is to blame and is not yet ready to reconcile. Even if this is the case, just understand that your worldview and his are at odds. There is your side, there is his, and if his guilt is obvious, you just need to show him your side.

Force yourself to listen.
To do this, the beginning of your conversation should include the words: “Forgive me,” that is, you need to apologize to him.
Even if it seems to you that you are not to blame for anything, and you don’t have to apologize, then just take this point as a cunning move - by apologizing, you automatically win the person over and don’t force him to listen to you, but he himself wants to listen and hear you . This is what you need, because your goal is for your husband to realize and accept his guilt before you.

In reality, of course, there is always something to apologize for: for raising your tone, for rude words, for impatience, and so on. You must understand that a quarrel is never one-sided, so think about what you could have done differently and apologize for not finding the strength to do it.

Get to the point.
Having explained what you apologized for, move on to describe your point of view.
The transition should not include conjunctions: a, but, only. Also, you should not go over to his personality, that is, to his side.
Your task is to show your side, which means you need to talk about yourself.

Example “Forgive me, I was wrong for losing my temper and offending you, I shouldn’t have done that, but you .....” - this is not possible

You need to: “Forgive me, I was wrong to lose my temper and offend you, I shouldn’t have done that, it just hurt me, I’m from this situation...”. And then everything is how you saw the situation that offended you and describe in colors those feelings and your pain that you felt.
Thus, you will show him how it looked from the outside and describe that it really hurt.

Listen to him.
There shouldn’t be a one-sided conversation, so he should also speak out and say what he thinks about the situation. At the same time, knowing your side, he must somehow react to it.

DO NOT expect him to apologize, but I understand the words that you were hurt, I won’t allow this to happen again, this is the ideal option.

Don’t delay the conversation, brevity is the sister of talent, so after you understand that your husband has understood everything, close the conversation by saying “I’m glad that you understood me, I love you” - something like this. Such a conversation will already be a victory for the two of you, and will give a good prospect for a peaceful solution to the difficulties that arise. http://love-911.ru/

How to make peace with your husband if he is to blame. Video

Unfortunately, throughout the life of a family, marital quarrels often arise, and there can be many reasons for this. Quarrels over missing finances, lack of time, bad mood. The culprits are different sides- both male and female. Some people have to adapt to the situation. Most often, in order to pacify her raging man, a woman has to do this. You need to try on, trying to direct life in its usual direction, smoothing out experiences, sometimes this is done in the most sophisticated ways.

How to make peace with your husband when he resists

In this case, it is appropriate to involve the husband’s friends in saving the situation. For example, invite everyone to the cinema, and at the end of the screening, organize a trip to a pizzeria that will not leave anyone indifferent. The plot of the film will be discussed over food; delicious pizza will most likely melt the ice in the heart of a loved one. A quarrel is not discussed in front of friends, everything will go as usual if the company reigns good atmosphere. After the pizzeria, you can hug your husband and look into his eyes; it depends on what feelings a woman encounters along the way. further development events. The look is warm and tender - the hugs become stronger, the same coldness in the eyes - you should wait and let the person understand what he wants.

How to make peace with your husband - jealousy

The quarrel drags on and lasts for several days, or even a week, then women try to provoke jealousy. To do this, you need to focus on conversations with other men in the presence of your husband. When talking on the phone, you should let him know that it is a man calling, a work colleague, for example. My husband calls mobile phone, you can not pick up the phone longer and pretend to be busy. True, accuracy with these elements will not hurt, since resentment is an unpredictable thing. For women involved in housework, there is an opportunity to find a job and be at home less often, but also do not forget to clean up after themselves, at least wash some of the dishes. Slight detachment from your loved one also gives good results. During misunderstandings, eradicate the habit of attacking your husband with hugs. Good-naturedly and a little detachedly kiss him on the cheek and continue to do important things.

How to make peace with your husband - tasty rewards

If a woman doesn’t really like to cook, she needs to remember her husband’s favorite dishes and learn how to cook them. After a quarrel, it is sometimes useful to give such gifts. A woman who works and is short on time, it is important to know that a good kitchen will help make the family atmosphere warmer. Is borscht rarely cooked on your home stove? No idea what shurpa is? Truce time - best moment to learn how to cook, expand your horizons. The presentation of the dish (better when there are several of them) should be special. Candles are not necessary, but hot borscht with fresh homemade sour cream and garlic croutons will not be indifferent to anyone. The setting is simple but homely, the table is clean, the kitchen is shining, and with the kitchen comes a good-natured smile. After the main meal, add tea or original jelly.

How to make peace with your husband - bed reconciliation

Active games in bed are an excellent ally of any truce. How more passionate woman, the faster it will melt man's heart. Perhaps there will be a desire to try something new, or something that you have always lacked time or desire for.

How to make peace with your husband - warnings

You should stop in time and try not to go too far. Allow your thoughts to cool and calm the surging feelings.
Under no circumstances should you run into a person and it is recommended to stop shouting. The scream is frightening and disorienting.
Women more emotional than men, so they calm down longer. We need to wait for time for moral rest.
The current situation is discussed calmly at the end of a short pause.
During a quarrel, they do not scare the husband with divorce if the person is really close.

There are plenty of options to reconcile with your husband, the main thing is to be smart in time. A man lacks warm hugs; a woman has a reason to diversify her emotional range. Or the quarrel was because of the eternal mess, then the conflict should be resolved peacefully and, if the woman works, explain as clearly as possible why she cannot constantly clean up after everyone. A woman does housework and is tired of the monotony; it is also important to convey this idea to the offender before starting to apologize. By not solving the problem now, the family risks stumbling upon it later.

The spouse is constantly angry, often without reason, gets worked up over every little thing, is rude, as a result life together Every day it becomes more unbearable. And yet, despite this, you still live together because you love him and don’t want to leave him. But also to live with constant scandals and quarrels are no longer possible. How to prevent a quarrel or reduce it to nothing?

Living life is not a field to cross. This phrase can also be transferred to family relationships. It is no secret that there are simply no families in life in which quarrels between spouses never occur. It's unpleasant, but true. Moreover, this phenomenon is inevitable. Only some couples after a quarrel can for a long time not to talk, and for others this phenomenon results in a huge scandal with breaking dishes. By the way, quarrels tend to arise out of nowhere (due to garbage not being taken out, dirty plates, dirty socks scattered around the apartment, or just ordinary fatigue, jealousy, etc.). Regardless of the cause, conflicts arise constantly, as a result of which people fight regularly and vigorously, and then greatly regret it. Why is this happening? And what should you do in this case?

Causes of quarrels.
In my dreams of married life we present it in the form of passionate and romantic relationships throughout life. But in reality, life makes its own adjustments. Over time, romance evaporates from once passionate relationships loving friend friend of people, giving way to endless everyday problems, which put so much pressure on the nerves. And at one point, a couple may quarrel over any little thing so much that they consider divorce the only way out of the current situation.

Constant quarrels and showdowns with her husband have a depressing effect on the body, cause depression and insomnia, reducing performance and quality of life. And the reason for this is the inability or unwillingness to give in or compromise with each other. We respond to aggression with aggression, anger, shouting, swearing - in progress is underway everything to prove that you are right. After everything calms down, often most couples cannot even remember the reason for the raging scandal, regretting and lamenting their inability to keep their own emotions under control.

Very often, the reason for aggressive behavior on the part of one of the spouses lies in his past. Namely, if such behavior was the norm in the relationship of his parents, then one should not be surprised that the person will behave in exactly the same way. He simply has no example of other behavior, without shouting, noise and scandals. He wasn't taught this. Another common cause aggression on the part of one of the spouses in a relationship is low self-esteem, when the other tries to assert himself at the expense of one.

Some factors, such as ordinary stress, illness, constant fatigue or physical discomfort can provoke an outburst of rage even in very calm person. I won’t go far, for example, everyone is familiar with the state of exhaustion after a hard day at work, especially in summer heat when you have a terrible headache and your whole body aches. At such moments it is quite difficult to be in a friendly mood.

It also happens that aggressive behavior arises on the way to realizing the plan when the other half creates obstacles to this. For example, he is very tired and wants to go to bed early, but you want to go to a club or movie and you drag him along with you. It is not difficult to guess that in most cases this situation ends in a strong quarrel.

Very often, a spouse takes out on his other half the grievances that were inflicted on him by someone else. For example, he received a “good” scolding from his boss because someone took over the parking lot usual place parking his car, being rude in the store, etc. As a result, for all this, he takes his anger out on his beloved woman, who fell under hot hand. And in retaliation she simply answers him in kind. It is precisely because of such trivial moments that families most often break up.

How to avoid a quarrel?
Of course, you can find plenty of reasons to be angry. But each person has their own reaction to this, and most often it is relatives and friends who suffer. What to do then? How to deal with often causeless aggression and outbursts of rage without taking it out on loved ones?

It should be noted that even if the spouses have been living together for decades, they still remain different people. It is impossible to do as your other half wants all your life. And that's okay. IN in this case Conflicts in the family are inevitable, but they can occur very rarely or occur in a milder form.

Remember, never, even with very strong desire prove that you are right; do not quarrel with your spouse in the presence of relatives, friends, or simply strangers. Inevitably, they will have to take sides in your conflict. And it’s not a fact that it’s on yours, especially if these are relatives and friends from your husband’s side. This will only fuel passions. In addition, you will also put your friends in uncomfortable position. In this case, it is better to calm down and postpone the conversation until a more convenient moment. In a calm state, having rethought everything, the cause of the conflict will be looked at from a different angle.

If a quarrel cannot be avoided, in no case should you use insults and humiliate your husband, because male pride oh so vulnerable! Such behavior can encourage the faithful to search for someone who will appreciate and respect him. And he will always be able to find one, no doubt!

To prevent a quarrel over a trifle, it is important to discuss every issue with him in a timely manner. sensitive question, without fear, post everything that worries you. But you also need to “lay it out” wisely, having prepared in advance and clearly formulated everything that you intend to tell him. Only after this can you start a sincere conversation.

Before you throw accusations at your spouse, think about whether your spouse is really to blame? Maybe his action isn’t worth a damn, maybe it can be calmly experienced and forgotten? Very often, because of any trifle, we women work ourselves up too much, and then in a rage we throw out everything that has accumulated on a man. Therefore, it is better to wait a few hours before talking. Maybe, having calmed down, you will understand that the reason is not worth quarreling with your loved one.

If your spouse usually starts a scandal, try to talk to him frankly, heart to heart, to find out the reason for his such behavior. Perhaps this is what he expects from you. If you do not dare to have such a conversation, it is likely that he will find someone with whom he will be frank. And then he will go to her altogether. Forever.

Sometimes the reason for a husband's nagging and temper may be something specific. By observing it, you can figure it out and fix it. Well, if your husband is annoyed by literally everything, maybe then you should live apart for a while. Sometimes this helps, and relationships between spouses who have taken a break from each other begin to improve again.

In general, for quarrels to arise in family life as little as possible, it is important to immediately arrange family life and build communication with your loved one in such a way that any unpleasant mistake of each other seems like a trifle and could be calmly experienced. You can do some kind of sport together. This will not only relieve unnecessary stress, but will also benefit your self-esteem and your relationships. After all, nothing brings people together like a pleasant pastime.

In the frequency of family quarrels big role played by the woman herself. Value yourself and don’t allow yourself to be humiliated or raised your voice for no reason. Maybe your confidence and ignoring his violent attacks will weaken the negativity splashed out at you. However, negative emotions should not be addressed to him, and mocking notes should not slip into his tone of voice. Try to praise your spouse more often, but for the matter at hand, appreciating his merits. Try to accept the existing shortcomings graciously.

If a quarrel does happen, learn to reconcile correctly.

Reconciliation after a scandal with her husband.
Before you try to improve your relationship with your husband, you should wait a little to give him the opportunity to calm down and cool down yourself. It is necessary to comprehend everything, understand what happened, and only then act. Begin reconciliation first for many women, especially if conflict situation husbands are wrong, is something beyond the pale, unworthy. However, there is nothing wrong with taking the first step towards reconciliation. And if you are the initiator of the conflict, this must be done!

If the other half is not yet in the mood to enter into a dialogue with you, you should not put pressure in this case. We should give him a little more time, let him cool his ardor. If, as you think, he has been sulking at you for too long, you can write him a letter, putting on paper everything that is difficult to say in person, looking eye to eye. And when the moment of personal communication finally arrives, you can let in not only kind words, but also gentle touches, stroking and kisses. This will perfectly defuse the situation and relieve the tension that inevitably arises at the beginning of the conversation.

If the spouse continues to remain silent for several days, more original methods, for example, prepare a surprise. Just don’t use it in this case sexy lingerie or erotic games. Conquer good attitude husband through sex - not very good idea. A man may take this as an insult, because this is an open hint that the animal instinct strong half humanity dominates everything else. And it looks, to put it mildly, vulgar. In this case, even if a man falls for your seductive behavior, after sex the irritation will return to him again. And everything will start all over again.

It could be a great surprise romantic dinner together. No matter at home or in a restaurant, under quiet music you can whisper words of love in his ear, tell him how sorry you are for what happened, that you want to forget it all as soon as possible. Pick up the right words at such a moment it will not be difficult. In such an environment, it is unlikely that any man can resist.

In general, you should talk more with your significant other, find out in a calm and interested tone what’s bothering him, talk about your love, which needs to be protected, and not destroyed by daily quarrels over an unwashed plate or the trash that hasn’t been taken out.

It would seem that it might be easier to reconcile with a loved one, but as practice shows, it is with our loved ones that we find it most difficult to reconcile.

This phenomenon is explained very simply - we are most susceptible to the actions and actions of our loved ones, and therefore the insults caused by them are the most difficult for us to “survive” and even more so to look at them soberly.

However, if we love, we want to live in peace and harmony, and even when a loved one has offended and is wrong, we long for reconciliation with him.

So why not make peace and forget about the grievances? Moreover, they say so much that only the weak do not forgive.

And here remains the most important reason that haunts and which does not allow one to go to reconciliation first - this is the fear that a similar situation will repeat itself and such behavior of the husband will become the norm. Fear that by forgiving and being the first to reconcile, she will not only forgive her husband, but will take his guilt upon herself. Thus, she will give her husband the opportunity to continue to offend her without a twinge of conscience. At the same time, she will have nothing left to do but constantly swallow grievances and go to the meeting first.

Therefore, the most effective way to show a husband and a person in general his mistakes is to rub his nose in it or make him feel it for himself.

How to make peace with your husband if he is to blame

The husband does not know about his guilt.
Of course, anything can happen, maybe the husband knows about his guilt, just out of pride he doesn’t come up and doesn’t ask for forgiveness. Probably, you could have had a strong scandal in which you openly insulted him for the offense caused, and for this reason he does not approach and will not put up with. But most likely the reason is that the husband is confident that he is right, without seeing what is happening in reality, he looks at the situation from only one point of view and is convinced that the truth is on his side.
Be that as it may, there are reasons with which he justifies himself, so there is no need to get angry and convince yourself that he is an insensitive egoist, that he is to blame and is not yet ready to reconcile. Even if this is the case, just understand that your worldview and his are at odds. There is your side, there is his, and if his guilt is obvious, you just need to show him your side.
Force yourself to listen.
To do this, the beginning of your conversation should include the words: “Forgive me,” that is, you need to apologize to him.
Even if it seems to you that you are not to blame for anything, and you don’t have to apologize, then just take this point as a cunning move - by apologizing, you automatically win the person over and don’t force him to listen to you, but he himself wants to listen and hear you . This is what you need, because your goal is for your husband to realize and accept his guilt before you.
In reality, of course, there is always something to apologize for: for raising your tone, for rude words, for impatience, and so on. You must understand that a quarrel is never one-sided, so think about what you could have done differently and apologize for not finding the strength to do it.
Get to the point.
Having explained what you apologized for, move on to describe your point of view.
The transition should not include conjunctions: a, but, only. Also, you should not go over to his personality, that is, to his side.
Your task is to show your side, which means you need to talk about yourself.
Example “Forgive me, I was wrong for losing my temper and offending you, I shouldn’t have done that, but you .....” - this is not possible
You need to: “Forgive me, I was wrong to lose my temper and offend you, I shouldn’t have done that, it just hurt me, I’m from this situation...”. And then everything is how you saw the situation that offended you and describe in colors those feelings and your pain that you felt.
Thus, you will show him how it looked from the outside and describe that it really hurt.
Listen to him.
There shouldn’t be a one-sided conversation, so he should also speak out and say what he thinks about the situation. At the same time, knowing your side, he must somehow react to it.