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What to do if the child does not obey you. The child interferes with others

The task of parents in preparing for school and in the first grades is to help create a zone of proximal development and work with the child in it, to be with the child. The zone of proximal development is one of the basic concepts of developmental psychology, formulated by our psychologists and borrowed by Western ones. This is something that the child cannot now on his own, but can with some organizing help from adults.

Not when the mother does it instead of the child (this is a substitute influence), but when the mother creates the conditions for this skill to become real from the possible. The zone of proximal development is a little more than a child can now. Parents are supposed to know what the child has to learn and build some scaffolding and supports along which to move on to this skill.

The child must go to school on his own.

Self-preparation of homework is a zone of proximal development for a preparatory student, for a first grader. He himself will not learn this, because the school does not form such a skill at the moment. With our help - organizing, not substituting - the child is able to master this skill.

And the same thing with various specific difficulties in learning: something does not work out, and we do it instead of the child and do not do it together with the child, helping him to master it. This often happens because parents are overprotective, included in children from birth. Overprotection in education is a dead end. You need to look at how not to migrate to the next stage of development with the same style of upbringing.

If possible, the child should go to school on his own. You need to understand that this is not your 1st grade, although we are very worried. Work in the zone of proximal development: you see that the child again did not put the physical education uniform, and the simplest thing is to put the uniform instead of the child. But this action is for him. On your part - to help, direct, suggest, but not do it for him.

The same goes for study skills. It is difficult for someone to read, for someone to write or answer in class. It is very important that when school life begins, there is support: "I believe that you will succeed." There is no need to save the child, try to do it for him, explain, but make it clear that he can do it himself, and you believe in him, despite the difficulties. If he needs help, let him not be afraid to turn to you.

A child who begins to relate to the education system needs a lot of support. He has not yet matured motivation, self-esteem. She is still at the level of a preschooler, and he needs endless confirmations that everything is fine with him, that he is a wonderful child. As studies are not always smooth sailing, the need for support at home is increasing.

The most important thing to avoid when a child goes to school is the formation of an evaluative attitude towards him. Let the one who is more calm about this help with the lessons. Usually a couple is selected so that one is more calm, the other is less. The more adults are nervous about the child, the more ambiguous the result can be. This is just the point of convergence of ambitions - it is important for everyone to have success.

Concentration on an academically successful child

When checking spelling (for example), you are not looking for the most crooked letter, but the most acceptable one and say: “This one turned out great!”, - and don’t say your long comment on how the rest turned out.

The beginning of schooling can be for many a certain point X, when a slightly different attitude arises towards the child than we thought. It is extremely useful, before such a moment comes, to remember what you had in your childhood: who sat with you, who was nervous, what you wanted.

A focus on success works for all children - it's one of the best things you can say. The writing skill is one of the most difficult, along with the fact that the child still needs to master a lot of things. Try to write a couple of sentences with your left hand in written letters, and you can understand, in part, what difficulties a child has in learning to write.

Crisis 7 years

The crisis of 7 years, unlike the crisis of 3 years, may come earlier or later. In general, it falls at the time when the first milk teeth are replaced by the first molars. If the teeth change early, this may be a feature of the family. If the teeth fall out early in one child out of all, maybe he is early in maturation. The crisis of 7 years is largely of social origin and is associated with the beginning of schooling.

Neoplasms of the crisis 7 years:

- this is, firstly, arbitrary attention, which the child can hold as much as he wants, on what he wants. Prior to this, attention was more beyond the control of the child. This is one of the signs why you should not send six-year-olds to school - the six months between 6.5 - 7 are very important, when attention is brewing and many more things related to hand-eye coordination and eye-hand coordination. Teachers have always known that the classes of six- and seven-year-olds are heaven and earth.

- this is, secondly, a student's position, which consists of the ability to adequately respond to censure associated with success, and the ability to accept authority. Before the crisis passes for 7 years, the child is offended and upset at any reproach. After this crisis, the child understands that the mother says this not to offend, but to make the child's skills better (i.e., the letter "A" has become more beautiful).

- In addition, the child wants, can and strives to adopt patterns of behavior, patterns of thought, patterns of action from another adult, i.e. from the teacher. And here it is much easier for a child if this teacher is not a parent, because one of the signs of a crisis of 7 years is opposing oneself to parents, negativity and thoughts that parents understand something worse than a new authority.

The appearance of “Maryivanna, who said” is a normal sign of a new formation, the fact that now the teacher will be the main person in terms of learning for the child. It cannot be broken, it is useless. You can bring down this incredibly beautiful image of a teacher from heaven only in the most extreme cases - with a clear negative attitude of the teacher towards your child.

This happens because all teachers have favorites and those whom they cannot stand. This should not be visible, but it rarely happens: the teacher chooses comfortable and pretty children for himself, but he does not choose noisy, active, pugnacious children. It is more difficult for boys here than for girls, because girls in elementary school are very convenient students.

The education system in elementary school is tailored to a person who is quick to respond, adapt quickly, enduring, able to quickly change activities. An individual approach is possible only in small classes of private schools or in small schools.

If your child falls out of the norm in terms of tempo, you need to prepare for the fact that he may not be very successful in framing this, because it is very important for the child that the new authority (teacher) treat him approvingly. A disapproving attitude can be destructive. Nothing can be done about it. Critical evaluation will appear later, in high school. In elementary school, the teacher is a god.

In general, the crisis of 7 years encourages the child to master new social roles. Teacher - student - vertical relationship. To obey and be able to subjugate the younger ones is a horizontal relationship. Everything that the child has mastered at school, he will bring to the family and will lose on younger brothers and sisters, on dolls. If a child goes to school, it is worth observing very carefully what he says to them, and then you will find out what and how “Maryivanna” says, what words she uses.

You can play school in advance, at preschool age. You can go to school and see how noisy it is at recess, what kind of desks there are. You need to tell stories about different teachers, in general, tell more stories from your life about school.

The idea that a teacher is a person with her own shortcomings, virtues and weaknesses is not close to a child in a crisis of 7 years. For him, she is a deity at this time. If the deity is merciful, then you are lucky. If not - evil, unfair, spewing thunder and lightning - then not very much. It is better to prepare the child a little in advance for the fact that teachers are different.

A new level of independence

A child in crisis 7 years old is stubborn. He stubbornly defends what he heard at school. He is not always in control. He has polar behavior, as in the crisis of 3 years: either he behaves like an adult and independent, then he behaves like a baby who wants to be handled. And this polarity is a sign.

Mom can push the child away, offended by negative manifestations, but this is not right. It is very important, if possible, not to lose your calmness, seeing how the child hones his ability to say “no” about you. The most useful thing that can be done in a crisis of 7 years is to confront the child with the consequences of his independence.

No need to protect him from possible mistakes, no need to try to convince him and ruin the relationship. We can warn about the consequences.

This crisis passes rather quickly, and the child develops a new level of independence, possibly associated with the performance of educational tasks. But learning independence is a complex skill, consisting of several blocks.

The first block is the planning block.
The second is the formulation of the problem.
The third block is execution.
The fourth block is verification.

This is what the child needs to learn during elementary school on the material of different subjects. At each stage, a jam may occur. For example, a child cannot yet accurately plan the time of lessons, because he has not yet mastered the time continuum. You can help plan and organize help in the zone of proximal development: “Let's think of a time, and you will put it on your phone when it's time for you to do your homework.”

Formulation of tasks. It is not always possible for a child to understand what is needed. Difficulties may arise here due to the child's inability to read the written building, or a misunderstanding of what Marivanna said. Here in the zone of proximal development, you can help by asking the child to explain what needs to be done in the task.

It is useful to put the child in an expert position regarding the lessons: he is an expert, and you are in the wings. While he explains the task, you will understand if he understood correctly, and you can slightly correct the problem. If you are sure that Marivanna said something wrong, then contacts with classmates are already very useful: “Call Masha, ask her,” let him call and find out for himself.

Execution block. Here the work in the zone of proximal development is to assess whether it can be done in one sitting. If the task is large, break it into pieces that the child can handle. This is also something that children themselves cannot do, they need organizing help. You saw that there are a lot of examples, you suggest: “Let's do so much first, then there will be a change, then more examples.”

Often the child cannot estimate the scope of the task even before grade 3. It is necessary to teach the child not to be distracted by the volume of a small piece: not to jump up, not to run up to the piano, not to dial a number - not to be distracted by all sorts of more interesting and pleasant activities.

Block of control, checks. This is generally a mystery, because adults know how to check, and that is not always good. And they don't always teach checking in school. Only good teachers teach how to check a dictation, how to recalculate as an example. You have to learn to check.

It's actually a great skill. Children are very fond of finding mistakes, and in a playful way you can offer him such a “teacher's” role - to check. The child's self-esteem has not yet come into contact with reality. The self-esteem of a preschool child is overestimated. During the crisis of 7 years and in general in elementary school, it goes to normal. Along the way, it can also become underestimated - and this is even worse. But in grades 1-2, the child knows that everything he has done is excellent, and he does not check himself: he tried, wrote, and, therefore, it is good. The ability to check is a separate skill that is also being developed.

Making lessons is a task consisting of such difficult blocks, and there can be plugs in each piece. But all this is easy to pass, because a person is an incredibly trainable being, and it is important to guide him in the right way.

Do not overload

Only a not very tired child can be able to check himself, to be able to plan everything. A child overloaded first of all loses the ability to self-organize. When tired, something that has been mastered not so long ago flies out: he can still add 2 and 2, but he cannot sit himself down at the table and check what he wrote. Systematically overloading the child, depriving him of the ability to self-control, we subscribe to the fact that we will do homework instead of him, for him, pushing him.

An overworked, chronically tired child is not a student. The load level is individual. It depends on the psychotype, on hemoglobin, on a million all sorts of factors. And you need to look: what you gave the child is normal or not - according to the general condition, according to the general sanity, according to how the child wakes up.

Two troubles for younger schoolchildren: a chronic decrease in self-esteem and chronic overwork. They are easily diagnosed by external people, but are poorly visible to mom: some things are out of our sight. Moms and dads tend to overload children, who themselves process. They tend to demand a lot from children of mothers (and fathers), who demand a lot from themselves.

If you know that you are a person with the A student syndrome, you need to understand that this is the first thing that is ready to fall on your child's head. All ambitions, all expectations, all requirements for themselves are taken and moved to the child. If this suits you, please: maybe you will achieve excellent results, and the child will be able to achieve more because of your ambitions.

But - the ambitions and expectations that have fallen on the child have a lot of side effects: health problems, you can discourage the desire to study, you can achieve a red diploma, but get it personally for yourself, to the detriment of the child's interests. It's quite a transcendent thing - to see where your desires and ambitions are, and where the desires and ambitions of a child are. You need to try to understand which of your actions are dictated by your desires, which are the interests of the child.

Crossing the threshold of the school, a seven-year-old child receives a new social status, and his development is proceeding at a rapid pace. Without exaggeration, this is an important stage in the life of a small person, and he must be ready for the increased load.

The developmental norms of a child at 7 years old

The body of seven-year-old children undergoes a lot of transformations: proportions change, the main systems of the body (musculoskeletal, nervous, immune, respiratory, cardiovascular) actively grow and develop. The muscles of the hands have not yet fully strengthened, so the child does not hold the pen firmly and often complains of fatigue in the hand. The spine is subjected to static loads for a long time, so it is important to monitor the baby's posture. The main changes concern the nervous system - the brain increases in size, the reactions inside it become more complex.
Indicators of the normal development of a child at 7 years old:

average height - from 115.4 cm to 126.9 cm;
foot size - for boys 34, for girls 32;
clothing size - 32/34;
average weight - from 20.1 kg to 26.5 kg.

What a 7 year old should know

The requirements for a newly minted first grader depend on the school to which he enters. But there is also a basic list that defines what a child should know at 7 years old:

your full name, age, date of birth, address, city, country, planet;
full names of parents, close relatives, their birthdays and professions;
days of the week, months, seasons;
wild and domestic animals, insects, birds, aquatic life;
vegetables, fruits, berries, plants, trees, flowers;
fairy tales, songs, poems by heart;
geometric figures;
numbers up to 10;
plus and minus signs, how to use them;
Russian alphabet;
direct and reverse counting;
colors and shades;
designation of directions and sides;
Traffic Laws.
If your baby has not yet mastered everything, work with him additionally.
Regular classes and a positive attitude will help your child come to school with a good knowledge base.

What should a child be able to do at 7 years old?

It is not at all necessary to teach the baby to all possible activities and drive to a thousand circles. The main thing is to give the child the basic skills and abilities that by the age of seven he will successfully use on his own:

count to at least 10, count backwards;
read in syllables;
retell the text in the correct order;
make stories from several sentences, including the picture;
distinguish between vowels and consonants;
determine the stress and number of letters in words;
concentrate for 30-40 minutes;
find differences and similarities in objects, pictures;
copy drawing, movement;
memorize up to 10 items or pictures;
put together puzzles, create figures from the constructor in accordance with the sample;
draw in such a way that it is clearly clear what is depicted;
neatly color and hatch;
sculpt from plasticine, create applications, use scissors.

Your child will learn a lot at school, but it will be easier for him if he masters most of the skills in advance. The home environment is more relaxed, comfortable and conducive to leisurely learning. At the desk, the child will be forced to obey the time frame, rush or fall behind if something does not have time. All this, most likely, will be associated with anxiety, nervous tension, and a decrease in self-esteem. The extreme manifestation is the refusal of lessons, the unwillingness to attend school. Be attentive to your child and be sure to check the level of his preparedness before the interview in the first grade.
It often happens that boys find it more difficult to maintain their neatness and appearance than girls. Therefore, when figuring out what a boy should be able to do at 7 years old, put these skills on your list. Of course, the son will come home more than once in torn pants and a soiled jacket, the main thing is that he maintains a decent appearance within the walls of the educational institution. In addition, the growing gentleman should be instilled with the rules of male behavior: protect the weak, help the girls, give way to the elderly and women. Ideally, the child should have before his eyes an appropriate image that meets these requirements. Of course, this is the figure of the father. It is he who forms in the mind of the son of the attitude, "what is good and what is bad."

Children's lies. To us adults, she seems so simple and naive. But the reasons that a child begins to lie to parents cannot be called harmless or insignificant. Does your child fantasize and pass these fantasies off as reality? Or is he telling a lie, trying to hide some of his actions and deeds from your vigilant attention? How to wean a child to lie? Do not rush to expose the little one and punish. After all, if we approach the problem from the point of view of psychologists, then, rather, educational work should be carried out, first, with the parents themselves. So that they do not mistakenly start to fight the investigation, which, in essence, lies are. But we tried to understand the reasons that prompt children to resort to such an unpopular way out of situations that are uncomfortable for them.

Children lie to their parents because for some reason they feel uncomfortable in their world.

It is a balm for spiritual wounds.
This is an internal conflict that has found a way out.
This is a lifeline in a seemingly hopeless situation.

And what is a child's lie for parents?

This is a distress signal.
This is a call for help.
This is an indicator that in the world of your beloved baby, not everything is as good as it might seem at first glance.

No matter how sad it may sound to you, the fact that the baby began to lie to you speaks of a crisis of confidence in your relationship. And it is you, the parents, who need to look for ways out of this crisis, as more experienced, balanced, authoritative.

Children lie when they stop trusting their loved ones.

Do not rush to expose the baby in a lie and scold him for it. Try to understand why the crumbs had a need to tell you a lie. After all, often, the reasons for children's lies are not at all those that are visible to you on a superficial examination.

You will not find a single recipe for solving this problem. Everyone will have their own. Depending on the problems of mutual understanding that have arisen between you and your child.

A crisis of trust between parents and children occurs when the older generation chooses the wrong model of relationships and not quite the right tactics for raising their children.

The kid will not lie to you if his life flows calmly and measuredly, if everything is in order with him. And do not think that he allows himself to tell you a lie, because the little one does not love and respect you.

Try to understand what is really behind his lies. What kind of need is the baby trying to satisfy in this way. This will be the answer to the question: "How to wean a child from lying?".

Children lie when they are afraid of punishment and censure

Why do children tell lies?

Any parent tries to give his baby all the best, tries to pass on his experience and his life wisdom to him, puts a piece of his soul into his beloved “blood”. But something, for all that, moms and dads, nevertheless, do not do it right. I wonder what it could be?

What are the reasons why, sooner or later, our children begin to tell us lies?

Too strict. If you are punishing the little one for the offenses he has committed, then you should not be surprised that the baby is lying to you, trying to avoid another censure for what he has done.
A game of feelings. If you defiantly get upset, grab your heart, blame the child for your poor health after his pranks or bad grades, you yourself provoke him to hide his mistakes in every possible way so as not to upset you.
Lack of attention. If the kid invents and tells everyone who is ready to listen to him stories about a happy family, about how his parents love him, how attentive to him, then maybe it’s all that he really lacks. And he plays pranks and lies only in order to attract your attention, which he so lacks.
Inferiority complex. The baby may be dissatisfied with himself. This happens when parents often criticize him, thereby developing an inferiority complex in a small person. A lie in this case is an attempt to change, to embellish a not too rosy reality. Be worthy of respect and admiration in your own eyes and in the eyes of others.
Limitations in expressing emotions . The child is not a robot. He cannot always have the same, certainly good, mood. He can be sad and upset, he can be annoyed and even enraged. And if he is prevented from expressing these emotions and giving them an outlet, he will simply withdraw into himself and begin to lie. For the sake of those who wish to see him always as a cheerful and cheerful toddler to his parents.
Fantasy. Dreamers and dreamers are perhaps the cutest and most attractive of all little liars. And such a lie is, rather, a manifestation of creativity and too much. The lies of visionaries are quite harmless if they are understood and directed in the right direction in time. Maybe you have a modern Jules Verne growing in your family or your own, native Jacques Yves Cousteau? ..

Or maybe your baby is not lying, but just fantasizing? Then you need to direct this feature of him in the right direction.

Well, how did you manage to determine its main causes by the nature of the child’s lie? If yes, then you have already gone halfway to eradicating this habit from your baby.

Now the main thing is to draw the right conclusions and diligently work on your own mistakes in.

How to wean a 4-5 year old kid from lying to parents?

It often happens that the child is still quite small, but he has already managed to face your disapproval.

And, afraid to once again see him in your eyes, afraid to lose your love, he, having done something that, as the baby is sure, will entail this very disapproval, uses lies as salvation, as protection. How to prevent lies, whatever their reasons, from becoming a habit, not becoming the norm for a baby?

If the child believes in your kind attitude towards him, he will not be afraid to confess his wrongdoing to you.

What should parents do in such circumstances?

Sit next to the baby so that your eyes are at the same level.
Calmly tell him that you know that the little one lied to you.
Ask the baby to tell you the truth, assuring him first that you will not be angry with him, as well as punish him.
Be sure to emphasize how much you love the baby. And no matter what he does, you will not love him less.
When the child gains confidence in you and tells you the truth, keep your word - do not blame him.
Help your little one deal with the situation. Explain what the child did wrong. And be sure to tell us how you should have acted in this situation.
Finish the conversation with another assurance that you love him, and are always ready to help the baby in any situation.

Of course, one such conversation is not always enough to fully restore trust.

Growing up, the child tries to protect his personal space from strangers. And he should be allowed to do so. Within reason, of course

What to do if a teenager (7-9 years and older) is cheating?

When children reach adolescence, very often the reason for their lies lies in the desire to create a personal space for themselves, a territory independent of adults, where only the child himself will be the owner.

And your task is to provide this territory to your teenager. Within reason, of course. But to give the child a real feel that he has moved to a new stage of growing up.

Mom and dad understand this. And we are ready to build relationships with him on a new level. But greater independence is not a synonym for permissiveness. Therefore, it is important here to clearly outline the framework of the independence of a teenager at this age stage.

And it is even more important that the child himself agrees with these frameworks. Discuss and be prepared to compromise. You can even sign a contract in writing. An agreement between two parties, when tangible, has great power.

If a teenager is sure that his parents love him, that they act only in the interests of his well-being, that they are always ready to listen, understand and forgive, he will not lie even if some agreements are violated.

Mom and dad, create trusting relationships in the family, become not only mentors, but friends for your child, and he will simply have no reason to tell you a lie!

A child can be honest with his parents

When he is not afraid of punishment, anger and loss of love of the closest people.
When he is sure that he will not be humiliated, no matter what happens.
When he knows that his parents will support him in any situation.
When you do not skimp on praise and encouragement.
When there is trust and mutual understanding between you and the child.

And never forget about personal example. How sincere, honest and open you yourself are, so your children will take these qualities from you. Create an atmosphere of harmony and harmony in your family. And then its small members will not seek salvation from adversity and loneliness in a lie ...

Video "How to wean a child to lie?"

So the stage of preschool childhood has come to an end, and several difficult periods of personality formation are left behind. However, you are standing in the way of a difficult and at the same time interesting time. The six-year plan is on the verge of major changes. He already has a personal opinion, can defend his point of view, has learned some social norms, controls his behavior, helps friends. In our article, we will talk about what psychological changes await your child and how to help him go on a new path.

Psychology at 6-7 years old - another transitional period

How are relationships with peers?

The age of 6-7 years is characterized by a significant turn in friendly relations. If earlier children did not need peer society, then at this stage the process of socialization is in full swing. The guys can already talk about where they were, what they saw, make plans for the near future and share them with pleasure. They develop a full-fledged communication, not at all connected with toys.

At 6-7 the first real friends appear

This age allows the guys to gather in groups of 2-3 people, thereby showing their preference. And this is true for both girls and boys. There are often disputes in their team, during which the terrible “I will never be friends with you again” may sound. Adults are well aware that children's grievances are easily forgotten, but for children 6-7 years old this is a real psychological drama.

The main task of parents is to support the child, the ability to find important words, help to live through the first experiences. In no case should one treat children's experiences with mockery and express negativity towards his friends.

The child's trust is the most important thing at this age

Important! Find time to just sit with your child, listen to him silently, hug him, sometimes this is enough.

How are relationships with the opposite sex?

This age sometimes brings surprises of first love, which can be found anywhere. An attentive parent can notice the changes that happen to the child: the sparkle of the eyes, the smile is full of mystery, and the look is a riddle. How to be in such a difficult situation?

At 6-7 years old, many children are visited by their first love.

Child psychologists give quite effective recommendations:

Be tactful, any careless statement like: “this boy is not a match for you”, “you still know how many of these Len will be”, “don’t make me laugh, what love at your age” can have a negative impact on the adult life of a child. The main task of parents is to ensure that the child is not afraid to share his experiences, so that he feels supported.
Be alert, talk to the baby, explain what is good, what is bad.
The task of fathers is to properly teach their boy to act from an early age, primarily by example. Otherwise, the boy does not understand how to behave, he is afraid of the ridicule of friends, as a result, he pulls his “object of love” by the pigtails, says offensive words. It is necessary to intervene and explain to him that such behavior is slightly different from the male. The same applies to girls, they should understand that courtship must be accepted with dignity, and not beat the boy with a book on the head.
You need to use your sense of humor, tune in to the same wavelength with the child. You can tell a funny story on a similar topic from your childhood, about one funny boy, thereby adding confidence to him.

First love can manifest itself in endless conflicts

You need to be able to keep a secret, and not share incredible news with the whole family, since you have been entrusted with the most intimate. Children's innermost feelings should be preserved, if necessary, console, support.

What difficulties can you face?

Child psychology says that the age of 6-7 years goes through the stage of another crisis. In some children, the fracture begins at age 6, while in others it shifts by age 8. The child's assessment of his place in society changes, he stands on the threshold of school, new relationships, social life, an unfamiliar position - a schoolboy, which is highly valued by adults. He does not always want to change something in his

Disobedience at 6-7 years old - a manifestation of the crisis

her life, but the new role pushes him to these changes.

During the turning point of 6-7 years, psychology focuses on experiencing the inner life, which consists of the level of the child's claims, self-esteem, and expectations.

Crisis at 6-7 years old - manifestations

These emotions influence his behavior in a given situation. This is where the antics appear, which child psychology calls spontaneity. With the help of mannerisms, children show that they are on the verge of a turning point, their inner world begins to differ from the outer, although they are also open to the world. When a child comes out of a crisis, he copes with what age requires of him, then negative emotional reactions, antics and manners disappear.

How to help a child?

The age of 6-7 years is associated with the rapid growth of the child, he grows literally by the clock, it is difficult for him to sit in one position, and at school he must be immobile for a considerable time. Therefore, it is important to observe the motor regime, psychology claims that this is the main need of his age, this is especially true for a boy. If you have an active boy, then after school you need to take him in the sports section, the pool, the choreography is good for girls.

Ready for school - requirements

At this age, the child still wants to be good, he is already well aware when he did wrong, he is embarrassed about this, gets upset if something did not work out so well, feels sincere joy when he is given a useful assignment.

In order not to drown out such noble urges in the future, it is necessary to talk with the baby more often, analyze actions, concepts of morality, for example, “a good boy is protecting girls, helping old people.”

The age of 6-7 years is characterized by increased self-esteem of the child, which gradually becomes adequate.

Sukhomlinsky's quote about the beginning of the school period

Therefore, upbringing implies an assessment of the result of his actions, but it should be remembered that a person cannot be assessed so as not to lower the self-esteem of the baby. It is necessary to criticize the actions of the baby, and not himself, he is not bad, but his behavior leaves much to be desired. This period characterizes an increase in memory capacity, stability of attention, therefore, education includes the joint reading of encyclopedias, watching educational programs, and it is important to do this together.

How to cultivate responsibility?

The time of carefree childhood is coming to an end, so the moment of development of such concepts as responsibility and duty will be important for the child. The upbringing of these qualities falls on the shoulders of the parents.

Responsibility at 6-7 years old depends on the attitude of adults

This age includes:

Performing simple duties, such as watering flowers, helping to clean the dishes, clean up the room, and the boy also has to do household chores.
Praise for the work done, but it must be done deservedly. It is better to pay attention to what the baby did, and not to what he did not succeed. It is necessary to patiently teach him to redo low-quality work.
Give the children a choice, for example: “You quickly clean the room and go for a walk, or I clean alone and then we won’t have time for a walk.”

The age of 6-7 years is a new stage in the life of a child, and the task of parents is to help him go through this path.

The second pitfall, oddly enough, is permissiveness. Some parents, having read the recommendations, allow their child to make decisions in all areas of activity.

Remember - this is just a child, he does not yet have a clear understanding of good and evil. Give him carte blanche - he will find himself another authority.

How to help your child overcome a crisis

Separate areas of activity six-year-olds. Determine what is dangerous for him.

This is a taboo area. Here prohibitions and restrictions are not discussed. In all other respects, a small person can have his own opinion.

For example, strangers should not open the door. But to congratulate your grandmother on her birthday is not “necessary”, but “let's congratulate, because she will be pleased.”

And do not insist if the child refuses to do this, no matter how shocking the decision may be for you.

Give him freedom of choice where he already has some experience: choose clothes for a trip to the park, come up with a menu for dinner from his favorite dishes.

But if you take him to the mall and offer him to choose a wardrobe, the child, on the contrary, will feel small and insecure, since the difference between the task and his experience is significant.

Remember: the ability to make independent decisions is being laid now. Do you want him to be afraid to take on new things in the future? Set him impossible tasks for a six-year-old.