How to understand the intentions of a man? Psychologist's advice. Relationship mistakes and how to avoid them

Sometimes we don’t understand men, and not because we speak different languages, it’s just that the same word evokes different associations for us. For example, men very often use hints that women may not understand.

Sign language

Anyone who seeks to draw your attention to his person will show and prove his individuality with all the pressure and confidence. There are many tricks for this: for example, a man begins to behave too noisily, be assertive and even a little arrogant, or vice versa, step aside and be unnoticed, indifferent to you, which you will certainly “bite”, thinking - why did this guy first with she looked at me with such interest, and after a few seconds she was preoccupied with something else. Surely this will offend you, especially if he seemed more or less handsome to you. Its main goal is to stand out from the crowd and capture your thoughts.

If the man you are looking at starts straightening his tie or pulling down his shirt or fiddling with his sleeves, then this is clear evidence that he is interested in you and wants to impress you with his eccentricity.

A man touching his face while talking to you thinks about how good he would be with you in a closer relationship, this is a symbol that he finds you extremely attractive.

If he is standing in front of you, and at the same time he keeps his hands on his belt or on his hips, then this indicates his confidence. In addition, he, focusing on certain places of his body, hints at how good it will be for you together in an intimate way.

A man who throws his jacket or sweater over your shoulders, saying that you are cold and you need to warm up, is a very caring person. This gesture indicates that he wants to be near you and protect you.

About the material

When talking with you, he casually says how unpleasant the catering places are for him, that the food there is tasteless and all this is expensive, but since he is too busy, he does not have time to prepare meals on his own. This is a clear hint that he would prefer home cooking, and he would buy food, if only someone would cook for him and take care of him. Such a man understands that it is better to bring money into the house, and not spend it on various cafes and restaurants every week.

You have been walking on the street for a long time, wandering around beautiful places and you want to have a bite to eat somewhere, suddenly you meet a rather expensive establishment on the way, in which the first course and a cup of coffee costs almost as much as his daily earnings, but you don’t think about it and you start calling him there, and the man tells you that he would like to take a little more walk and maybe a little further there is a more pleasant and peaceful place. This indicates that he does not have enough funds to pay for lunch in such an institution, at least at the moment, or maybe he simply did not take a lot of money with him.

He puts up cooking magazines in a conspicuous place or, switching channels, dwells on cooking shows for a long time, thus trying to hint to you that he would like to see and try a wide variety of dishes, and not just fried potatoes and soup. After all, sometimes variety doesn't hurt.

Secrets of communication

Men are not prone to violent expression of emotions and admiration, it is simply inherent in their nature. Unlike women, who can rejoice at the whole house, jump and clap their hands, or shout loudly during a quarrel, waving their arms, men are much more patient and calmer, and therefore it is rarely possible to see his real anger, only if you really try.

They have a habit of constantly interrupting. And they do this not at all because they do not want to listen to you, everything happens on an unconscious level. Therefore, while you begin to explain the whole essence of the problem, he can already express two or three options for solving it.

When something worries you and you don’t know how to tell a man about it, trying to find the right words, know that this duration only annoys him. Say everything at once directly and most importantly, and only then describe all the details.

Men are argumentative. From this they get real pleasure, because they really want to assert themselves and prove their point of view. No need to be offended by them for this, this is how male psychology works.

When your conversation starts to turn into a quarrel and you notice it, while realizing that you are wrong, the best solution to prevent it is to take a man by the hand or hug him, look at him with an affectionate look and snuggle. So you share your positive energy with him and he feels it. Be patient, and before expressing your dissatisfaction, try to understand the man, because this is so important.

Hello dear readers of the blog Samprosvetbulletin!

“How to understand the intentions of a man if a man avoids explanations? After several dates and does not respond to messages. I suffered for a month in obscurity, not knowing what had happened. Then it turned out that from the very beginning of our acquaintance he met with another girl and now everything is serious with them. Was it really that hard for me to say it straight out?” — Marina writes.

“How to understand the intentions of a man at the beginning of an acquaintance? I feel disappointed because the men I dated avoided telling me the truth. For example, about what they want from meetings, whether they are looking for a serious relationship or just want to spend time together, how they make a living, and most importantly, whether they are dating someone else. In general, they just hung noodles on my ears, ”- Vera writes.

Most women, at the beginning of an acquaintance, would like to know the intentions of a man: is he currently dating other women, is he looking for a serious relationship, is he ready for marriage.

Typical Scenario - He's Dating Not Only You

I'll give you a typical scenario. You are on first or second, everything is going great. You laugh and talk a lot and wonder how much you have in common. You feel like a spark has passed between you. Perhaps he is talking about where he would like to invite you. It seems to you that this is the beginning of something significant for the two of you.

But a week or two passes after the date, and he does not make himself felt. Maybe you're sending , something like, "Haven't heard from you in a while...how are you?" But he does not respond to this message and you do not understand your attempts to find out what's wrong.

Most likely, you analyze everything you said and did during the meeting in order to understand what mistakes you might have made. But after a month or more, you will find out the truth: while he charmed you, he was already dating another woman, whom he eventually chose.

You are confused, frustrated, frustrated and can't understand why he couldn't just tell you the truth. The truth would be less painful than days of waiting and worry.

As you can see, this is a typical dating scenario and women want to know why a man avoids telling the truth.

Why a man avoids telling you the truth

A man may hide the truth from you at the beginning of your acquaintance because he does not like confrontations and is afraid that your reaction will be emotional. He is also afraid that he will not be able to control the situation, he will not know what to answer you and how to behave, he is afraid of being humiliated and rejected. A man may imagine that you will start crying, complaining, getting angry or swearing. He is afraid of being attacked by you. It does not matter that you are a balanced person and know how to behave. He doesn't know you well enough and there may have been women in his past who "stressed" him a lot with their emotional reactions.

A man could be honest and say straight out: I know a woman whom I would like to get to know better. You are wonderful, but I feel that with the other we have a chance and I want to try. Instead, he avoids you, hoping that he will never have to talk to you openly face to face and listen to your judgments about him. He does not think at this moment what you feel, the main thing for him is to avoid confrontation and criticism, which he is afraid of.

Sure, this is immature, childish behavior, but that's exactly what often happens in situations like this. And although not all men behave as described above, many women experience this scenario.

A man can in a conversation himself mention his intentions, his views on women and relationships, his past experiences. You just need to listen carefully to what he says and draw conclusions.

If you want to challenge a man to be open, you need to let him know that it's perfectly safe to be open with you. Whatever he says, you just take everything for granted without a negative reaction. Show that you are able to calmly, easily accept any information and react neutrally.

Being a good listener and date partner doesn't mean that you accept and approve of everything a man says to you. You just get information about him in order to draw conclusions and decide whether you should meet with him further. Does what he tells you fit your life and requirements.

Separate two actions:

1. The ability to be a neutral listener and interlocutor who can listen to information calmly, without losing self-control.

2. The ability to analyze the information received and make a decision based on it.

If you've managed to be a neutral listener, you can ask any questions that interest you, emphasizing that you are now driven only by simple curiosity.

For example:

- "Are you dating someone else now, just curious";

- "I'm curious, what do you dislike most about women?";

- "I'm curious, what do you think is more suitable for you now, a serious relationship or just meetings without obligations?".

Neutral perception of words, curiosity, will show that you will normally perceive everything that will be said, without judgment or evaluation. You are independent and respect the independence of others, it is safe for you to speak the truth and you can be honest without consequences. If you manage to create such an atmosphere on the first two dates, you will get the most truthful information from a man. What to do with it then, decide for yourself.

It's not that a man is afraid of certain questions, but how a woman asks these questions and how she can respond to them. If you want to encourage a man to be honest, you must learn to be neutral about what he shares with you. This technique will help you not to waste time on the wrong person who is not interested in a serious relationship.

Good luck and see you soon on the pages of Samprosvetbulletin!

How often do you ask yourself the question “How to understand a man, his actions and actions?” and find the correct answer?

Can you say that you are completely satisfied with how you understand your man? Unfortunately, sometimes women give up trying to learn more about the psychology of a man in love, referring to the fact that it is " allegedly impossible ". Especially if there is a place for mutual insults and disappointments in the relationship.
The relationship between a man and a woman has its own strategies and mechanisms of understanding.
And we need to ask ourselves the question: do we really understand them? Are we doing the right thing to make these mechanisms work?

If you understand the mindset of a man, it will become much easier for you to build relationships with them. There are truths that give the key to understanding the psychology of men in love. Successful relationships are built only when wise women do not ignore these axioms laid down by nature.

When you finish reading this article, you will have no questions left about how to understand a man. Men are "genetically trained" to act systematically, why shouldn't women try? Naturally, not to the detriment of yourself, your nature and femininity.

If my beliefs are not enough for you to believe in the effectiveness of my advice, use the experience of one of my students (I am very grateful to Marina for these kind words):

Before revealing these important truths on how to understand a man, I will start with one example. Not quite typical for a man, but understandable for a woman.

If I wanted to make a delicious apple pie, I would first find an appropriate specialist on the Internet and read his recipe. Trusting expert experience, I would not spend too much time and effort. And the cake came out exactly the way I wanted. This is because I initially recognized this "mechanism" - the recipe, and then it went by itself.

Just imagine! In fact, everything that surrounds us can really be the way we WANT to see it in our lives. And it's simple. It is enough to know the "mechanism". I want to give you this knowledge. Therefore, let's take a closer look at the recipe for how to understand a man. Do you want misunderstandings to go out of your relationship? Then let's go!

5 facts about the inner world of a man that help to understand him better.

Of course, to figure out how to understand a man is by no means, not to cook a biscuit. And here you can’t do without a good cupcake, and a couple of broken eggs. Therefore, I present to you 5 facts about male behavior that will help you figure out the psychology of men in relationships with women:

1. A woman has a huge influence on a man.

It is generally accepted that the power in a relationship belongs to the husband. This is a myth born of understanding the role of men in the family. A man feeds his family, he is a breadwinner. It is commonly believed:respectively, the power in the family, also on his shoulders. Competitiveness is an innate male quality, he is ready to accept the challenges of other men, he is ready to conquer mountains (to accept challengesthis world). This is an important partCOURAGE».

But this " courage» most vulnerable in a relationship with a woman (with you). A man is not born with the ability to find an approach to women. And it is much easier for most of us to demand a raise from our boss, to plan and conduct business negotiations that are of priority value in our work. It is in the genes of men to face great risks and capitalize on them.

But when it comes to relationships with a woman, a man's fears of being insolvent can take over him, and he will not cope. Most men do not need to be directly assisted in earning their livelihood. But a man is not able to motivate himself as effectively as he can do "competent Woman ". Do you want your husband to earn more, make you happier? Do you want him to hug you more often, speak and show how much you are dear to him? Then motivate your husband and every day spent next to such a man will be a real joy for you.

I'm not talking about daily sessions of flattery for your husband. I'm talking about creating atmosphere in your relationship.

Therefore, motivate your man and he will do everything for you and more.

2. Men like women who take the lead.

I often heard that it is an exclusively male task - to make the notorious "first step". This has absolutely nothing to do with reality.

For us, almost always, a relationship with a woman is a strict plan. Starting with dating, and ending with household and family issues. I have already pointed out to you that it is much easier for us to enter into a competition with another man, because the fear of losing is not so great.

For us, initially, all women are a fortress to which you need to find your own approach. First of all, you need to interest a woman in yourself. We are practitioners - we need to create a plan and implement it. In our understanding,first step”- these are the actions that we direct to arouse interest in a woman.

For example, if a man sets himself the goal of getting a job, then the first thing he will do is tryinterestpotential employer in yourself. The same thing happens in relationships with women. If a man decides to get attention, he directs his actions to arouse interest in himself. But, be sure that in the case of meeting a woman, men are much more likely to succumb to the fear of risking their "courage", hear" No" in reply.

So think about it. If you let a man know you're interested in him (for example, you can smile, or just say "Hello”), then you remove this huge burden of choice from his shoulders -“risk your courage or not ". Believe me, men in absentia "in loveinto the woman who shows interest in him. And therefore, if you happen to run into somewhere with a man who, as you think, suits you, smile.
Do you have a big - use it!

3. If a woman allows her to act in any way - a man will always take advantage of this.

It's embarrassing, I understand. But you are here to find out the truth and get an answer to the question - how to understand the psychology of men's behavior. It is sad to admit, but it is a fact - they take advantage of those women who allow them to.

If you see that relations with a man are developing in the keyHe's with me until he finds someone better. ”, then do not hesitate - draw a line. And tell him about it. Most men will respond to this adequately. This is how you show self-respect.

Men can't always distinguish relationshipsWe are good together now » from « We build relationships with the goal of creating a family” . If you see that a man does not consider relationships in the long term, tell him about it and put an end to it. Because he won't.

4. Men are innately jealous. If a woman provokes his jealousy in order to get closer, this will have the opposite effect.

First of all, I want to remind you again that competitiveness is inherent in male nature. The real torture for a man is even to think that someone can take better care of his soulmate than himself.

Therefore, to arouse jealous feelings in a man in order to regain his intimacy is one of the worst methods. And, most likely, it will cause the opposite effect. A man with such a woman. Instead of experiencing this torture.

5. The way to a man's heart is through his ego. Men marry women who believe in them unconditionally.

I will give one widely known example. One man was on fire with a seemingly crazy idea. The idea was to create a self-propelled vehicle (called the internal combustion engine). And, to that end, he spent many years in the garage, working all his time on this idea, naturally he did not have time to provide for his family well. But his wife, beingcompetent”, believed, from day to day, in the strength of her husband, and instilled in him this confidence. But it must be taken into account that her husband, and even herself, were teased by neighbors, perhaps even friends, people close to them.

And so it went on for several long years. Subsequently, she was rewarded for her patience and wisdom. The day when she, along with her husband, left that same garage, on a self-propelled vehicle, the whole world still remembers as the day the automotive industry was born. This married couple was Henry Ford and Clara Bryant.

What is important in understanding men

So, I want to be clear. Be sure - your man is fully capable of coping with his direct male duties. In fact, he does not need practical advice on, for example, how to make money, or how to manage his time. Also, he does not need to be reminded of what obligations he has assumed regarding you and the family as a whole.

A worthy man will only be with a woman who is on his side. We don't need to be taught anything, we don't need a second mother. Your husband will become successful and wealthy thanks to your sincere fidelity, care and faith in him.

Remember: You can be there for him. I have written about this many times in other articles. A man gets life experience and skills with skills on his own. It won't be necessary"play jealousy with a man, or use some unethical, dishonest methods to bring him closer to you. Need to be for him "refugeto give him confidence in himself.

And yet - trust your chosen one. You do not tell the taxi driver how best to take you to your destination, do you? What pedals and when to press? Where to turn? That's right - you just give him money, that is, "motivate him, and he will do an excellent job with the task assigned to him.

Don't forget these truths. And you will see that in a relationship there may not be problems with understanding.

Thank you for your attention, I really appreciate it! I long to bring lightness and comfort into your life. You deserve to be happy every day. Your opinion and feedback is invaluable to me. Especially if the question concerns the psychology of men in love.

I look forward to your comments.

The most interesting articles by Yaroslav Samoilov:

Women use various tricks, tricks and secrets to make the man they like fall in love with them. A man can show signs of attention and be nice to you - but how to understand that a man has fallen in love? You just need to know how to recognize the signs that a man has fallen in love.

If your new boyfriend does most of the things listed below, then most likely this man is in love with you. Why? Because when a man is in love, his behavior speaks more eloquently about his feelings than words.

So, 4 important signs that a man has fallen in love:

1. He texts you with the text "good morning" and "good night"

If your boyfriend or man sends you messages with good morning wishes or nice words for the night, this is a sure sign that the man has fallen in love.

When a man is in love, his behavior changes: he strives to be always there and as often as possible to show signs of attention to his beloved girl (woman).

A man imagines how you wake up or go to bed alone when he is not around - and he wants to send you an SMS to feel that you are closer to each other.
If a man sends you SMS during the day, it means that he thinks about you all the time and thoughts about you make him happy during boring or even stressful working days.

2. When he calls, he just says: "It's me."

If you are tormented by the question: how to understand that a man has fallen in love, pay attention to how he starts a conversation with you on the phone.

The phrase "Hi, it's me" means that your relationship is developing in the right direction, and your man (or boyfriend) feels cozy and comfortable with you. If your new suitor says "It's me" when they call you, this is usually a sign that the man has fallen in love. Why?

Because in the understanding of a man, your relationship has moved to the level where you don’t need to explain on the phone who is calling. You have become closer - and communication has become easier.

3. He wants to introduce you to his friends.

If his weekly activities include hanging out with buddies on Saturdays, for example, then he probably told his friends about your Friday night date. Men gossip too, you guessed it?

If he invited you to join him one of the weekends, it most likely means that he already sees you as a part of his life - not only in bed, but also outside of it.

In general, meeting friends is usually one of the main signs that a man has fallen in love and has serious intentions towards you.

4. He talks about the future

Of course, when we talk about the future, we don't mean talking about buying an engagement ring or proposing marriage. We are talking about joint plans for the coming weekend, for the next vacation. Also, if a man invites you to go to a concert or attend some other event in the next few months, then he has far-reaching plans.

When a man is in love, his behavior and his conversations are a reflection of his feelings for a woman. And, of course, if a man discusses with you how you see the future of your relationship and what plans and dreams you have, this most likely means that he is in love with you and wants to see you next to him in the future.

anna base

Science has proven that women express their feelings more emotionally than men. Whether it's anger or resentment, love or jealousy, she doesn't keep it to herself. Others clearly see that a woman is experiencing strong emotions.

Men are stingy with the expression of emotions. It is rare to find a man who revealingly demonstrates joy, fear or dislike. The same rule applies to love.

However, if the heart of a representative of the strong half of humanity could not resist this eternal feeling, this is immediately evident.

A man in love is ready:

Make an impression;
do romantic (and crazy!) things;
change lifestyle.

Female and male love - what are the differences?

Women's love is earthly and pragmatic. A woman gives her heart to a man who, in her mind, looks like:

earner - he is able to feed future offspring, equip life;
strong and reliable, solves life's problems;
ready for family life. Frivolous womanizers are the lot of windy and stupid people. A smart woman thinks ahead: is this man worthy of becoming a husband and father?

Male love is not so pragmatic and thoughtful. A man does not care about the social status of the chosen one, material wealth. He draws attention to the appearance of the chosen one, diligence, the ability to run a house.

What are they, signs of a man in love?

Sign No. 1. Thirst for communication

A man in love talks a lot. He talks about his work, friends and relatives, shares memories, emphasizes life achievements.

A man in love wants to look successful and strong in the eyes of his chosen one.

In addition, a representative of the strong half of humanity is interested in the life of a woman she likes. He is ready to listen to you for hours. He is interested in where you were born, how you studied at school, your favorite food and hobbies.

A man in love during communication:

gallant, polite;
looks into the eyes of the interlocutor and listens to every word;
is next to the chosen one;
feels awkward, embarrassed;
constantly preens (straightens hair, clothes).

Sign #2. A man in love takes care of his woman.

He asks if you put on a hat and gloves on a cold winter day, if you want coffee or a snack. Before going to bed, he will call to wish you good night, and in the morning he will definitely instruct you on how to drive a car carefully.

A man in love helps by deed, not by word.

The feelings of a man in love are not expressed as expressively and vividly as those of a woman. Stormy emotions and showdown in the character of a woman. A man, if he loves, acts.

Whether your kitchen faucet is leaking or you need to take your cat to the vet, a man puts the burden on his strong shoulders.

Gifts are another indicator of care. A man gives flowers, pays the bill in a cafe.

Sign #3: There is always time for you.

Even if a man is the president of an international corporation for the protection of animal rights or a sought-after actor, he will definitely have a minute to communicate with his beloved woman. He finds time for dates, no matter how busy his work schedule is. Meeting with you is a priority.

Often calls, writes funny messages. Most often, this is a conversation about nothing - how are you, mood, plans for the evening.

Sign #4: Non-verbal contact, jealousy, and ownership

His touches are light, perhaps even unconscious. When you get off the bus, he gives you his hand. On the street, his hand rests unobtrusively on your waist. When talking, the man's torso is completely turned in your direction. that has serious plans for you.

He frowns when you smile sweetly at a passing man or talk warmly about a friend who helped you in a difficult life situation.

Sign number 5. Acquaintance with parents, friends

A classic and striking indicator of male interest. A man in love will introduce you to his social circle. He will invite you to a family Sunday dinner, introduce you to friends. It doesn't need a reason. If he says: “Let's go to friends, drink coffee,” it means that you are not just a momentary hobby for him.

If, while meeting friends, you see their evaluating views, it means that they already formally know you - the man was talking about you.

He also wants to get to know your family and friends. During the meeting, the man is polite and gallant, especially your parents.

Sign #6: He controls your behavior and social circle.

A man in love is interested in where you are, what you are doing and when you will return home. He worries about who you're going to for your birthday, what you plan to do on Monday night, and why you're still up at midnight.

This does not mean that you are forbidden to go to a disco with your friends or take a walk with an old friend in the park. However, a man, if he has tender feelings for you, longs to be at the center of your life.

Sign number 7. Builds joint plans for the future

If a man in the course of a conversation asks where you would like to go in the summer - to Egypt or Turkey, be sure that his feelings are real. This man sees you next to him both tomorrow and in a year.

Behavior of a man in love

To understand what feelings a man has for you, it is enough to analyze his behavior.

A man in love is unpredictable, doing things unusual for him. He is ready to spend hours choosing your dress, skating or learning how to cook paella. A man takes over your interests and hobbies.

However, something similar happens at the initial stage of the relationship, while the man is not sure that the woman reciprocates.

The man turns into a knight and a gentleman. He pampers the chosen one with pleasant little things (chocolate, flowers), prepares surprises, thinks through every date. A man in love constantly surprises.
Male love (at least at the initial stage of the relationship) is incompatible with critical statements about the chosen one. A man admires your taste (even if you are wearing a grandmother's sweater), culinary talent (although you are sure that cooking is not your forte). He will not allow himself and his environment negative statements, critical comments about his beloved. In addition, a man in love does not listen to other people's advice.

During the period of falling in love, each representative of the strong half of humanity behaves in its own way. And yet the signs of male love are universal. A smart woman necessarily analyzes the behavior of a man and draws conclusions.

December 21, 2013, 10:52 am