Excessive guardianship of the mother over her son (hyper-custody) - consequences. How to identify excessive custody of a child and how to overcome it? “Daddy of Trees”: Parental Metaphor

The lives and health of their children are in the hands of parents. Of course, not everything depends only on the parents, and there are circumstances that also affect the child. But still, it is the family that lays the foundation in the children's destiny. Therefore, many parents involuntarily ask questions: What is the most important thing in education? What can they give their children besides physical care?

Professor and director of the Neufeld Institute in Israel Shoshanna Hayman wrote a heartfelt post about the most important task for all parents who want to see their children confident and at the same time empathetic and responsive.

“Daddy of Trees”: Parental Metaphor

The rain poured incessantly. Strong winds uprooted trees and carried them away. My husband was looking out the window, focusing all his attention on the row of young fruit trees we had planted this summer. When a strong gust of wind hit the mango tree, bending its branches, the husband threw on a raincoat, took out a strong rope and went out into the bad weather to secure the trees by tying them to the fence.

When he returned, soaked and chilled, I told him, half in jest, that he was a kind "daddy of the trees." The image of the “daddy of trees” arose in my mind when I thought about how he saved small fragile trees. He planted them with such love in the summer and came to realize that he had to look after them to give them the best growing conditions so that they could grow into big strong trees that would bear good fruit in the future. He must not push and pull the branches of the trees all the time to promote their growth; he should not dictate to them how to grow. He believes that the day will come and the fruits will appear, and that he only has to see that the trees are provided with all the necessary conditions for healthy growth and they are protected from everything that can harm them.

This is what we parents give to our children. We believe in the potential of their development. Deep within them are the seeds that will turn them into truly mature adults. They will develop the flexibility and resilience needed to endure in a harsh world. They have the ability to be considerate and caring towards others while feeling confident in their own worth. Their own aspirations and goals in life will be shaped over time, along with the courage and resourcefulness needed to realize those goals. They will be able to become responsible and independent in order to make their lives meaningful and happy.

When we believe this, all that remains for us is to protect and cherish such development. Just as the "daddy of the trees" realizes the need to watch over the trees, keeping them safe and protected, so we must protect and shield our children because of their too great spiritual vulnerability until they stand on their own feet and can stand up for themselves. yourself in our world. We should not push and pull our children to speed up their growth. Each child will develop at their own pace, and gradually we will see the results of this development - those bright human character traits that we want to see in them.

What we must guard and protect is their hearts. Children are the most sensitive and defenseless creatures. In order not only to survive, but also to flourish and open up, they need soft, not hardened hearts. It is necessary that the feelings experienced by them contribute to being sensitive, responsive, caring and delicate. Without these emotions, children lose the sensitivity and understanding necessary for human development. They cannot become adaptive and able to overcome difficulties. They lose their sense of self and their goals in life, and with it the ability to derive satisfaction from self-realization. Life is seen by them in black and white, as they are unable to see the dissonance and ambiguity that color and characterize the various events in our lives.

Parents must guard their children's hearts from hurting them so that they retain these vital emotions that will help them grow into mature adults. We should be on the same “frequency” with our children, focusing our attention on how the world around them affects them, just as the “tree dad” watched from the window what was happening to his young trees in the rain and wind.

Of course, things that affect our children cannot always be seen with the eyes, like rain, for example, and so we need subtle insightful intuition (the ability to see with the heart). And here is the secret. Our own hearts must be soft, not hardened. We must rely on our feelings: sensitivity, responsiveness, care and caution in order to feel with our own hearts what our children need, what we must give them. This is our main task. This is what encourages us to grow and develop with our children.

According to materials:

Parents are obliged to take care of their children, protect them and protect them. However, sometimes adults greatly exaggerate their own role in the life of maturing children. They begin to overprotect them. This parenting style is called overprotection. It is based on the desire of parents to satisfy not only the child's urgent needs, but also imaginary ones. It uses strict controls.

What causes maternal overprotection

In most cases, overprotection is observed on the part of mothers. This behavior greatly harms her sons and daughters. Boys are especially affected by this. "Mother-hen" prevents them from gaining independence, deprives them of purposefulness and responsibility.

If a woman strives to do all the work for the child, makes decisions for him, constantly controls, then this hinders the development of the baby's personality, does not allow him to become a full-fledged person who is capable of self-service, taking care of himself and loved ones.

Yes, and mother deprives herself of many joys, spending time not at all on what is actually worth doing. The son is unlikely to be able to please her with his achievements, because he will get used to being led and without initiative.

Thus, overprotection leads to the following consequences:

1. problems in determining one's place in life;
2. notoriety, constant uncertainty, fear of taking responsibility and making decisions;
3. endless search for one's own vocation;
4. problems with personal life, lack of family relationships;
5. inability to serve oneself;
6. inability to communicate with other people, resolve conflicts;
7. low self-esteem, self-doubt.

At the same time, mothers rarely realize that they are behaving incorrectly, which has a very negative effect on the boy.

Why does overprotection occur?

When the baby is just starting to get acquainted with the outside world, the desire of parents to protect him from all troubles is fully justified. We're not talking about hyperbole here. At the age of three, adults should give the child more freedom so that he learns to be independent. If strict control is maintained at a later age, then the manifestation of overprotection is obvious.

What are the reasons for its appearance? Firstly, parents can try to “fill the void” in life through the baby, satisfy personal needs, feel significant and needed. So they want to be realized if other ways for this have not been found, or they have been unsuccessful.

Secondly, sometimes it can happen that adults, with their excessive care, try to drown out true feelings - hostility towards the child. Children are not always born at the mutual desire of the parents, some have a negative attitude towards their appearance. But then they begin to fear that their rejection may negatively affect their daughter or son, leading to sad consequences. To hide remorse, adults "hide" their disappointment deep in the subconscious, replacing it with overprotection.

Thirdly, total control is a habit for moms and dads that they can’t get rid of. Parents who take care of the baby from its first days continue to behave in this way even when the children grow up.

Adults must understand that a child is a separate person who must have his own desires, requirements, dreams.

To become successful members of society in the future, they need to accumulate their experience, develop personal qualities, and be able to make decisions. Parents still will not be able to live forever, so the children will sooner or later have to live on their own. And without prior preparation, it will be extremely difficult.

How to get rid of overprotection

Striking a balance between inattention and overprotectiveness is not always easy to find. It is more difficult for families where there is only one baby, and they do not plan a second. However, it is necessary to correct your behavior in order not to render the baby a disservice.

How to "change the wrong direction"? To do this, you need to remember a few nuances:

1. First you need to realize that overprotection is bad for children. It will not make them happy, successful, purposeful, confident. On the contrary, it will deprive it of everything. Parents are obliged to imagine how their child will live in the future, if he cannot do without outside help. To achieve the independence of the child should be gradually, and not in one day to move him away from himself.

2. If adults realized the fallacy of their actions only when the son or daughter had already reached adolescence, then there is no need to continue to build a high wall of endless prohibitions around them. Parental control causes only conflicts and misunderstandings in the family.

3. It is more correct to communicate with the child “on an equal footing”, to establish a warm relationship based on trust. It is necessary not only to be unobtrusively interested in their life, but also to share your concerns, consult, ask for opinions on certain issues. However, you should not demand from the child adult responsibility for their actions. It should be independent, but within reasonable limits.

4. Each person learns more effectively from his own mistakes than from the experience of others. Therefore, there is nothing to worry about if sometimes the baby will make mistakes, experience bitterness or disappointment. This is quite natural, and sometimes even useful.

Adults should allow the child to live their own life, experiencing both joys and sorrows.

Proper relationship building

Sometimes being a lazy mom is better than a mother hen. After all, then the child will definitely not become helpless and weak. If everything is done for him, then he will be absolutely not adapted to adult realities. And if it is important for a girl to be completely independent and independent, but not so important, then in a boy it is necessary to form the makings of a real man from childhood. In the future, he will have to be responsible not only for himself, but also for his family, wife, children, and other relatives.

It is not recommended to express constant criticism of the child. Sometimes he needs guidance on the true path, explanations and help, and not boring moralizing. The kid will understand that they do not scold him every time, but they understand and help, they expect independence.

You can’t first blame the baby for scattered toys or a torn button, and then eliminate the consequences of his pranks on your own. It is better to express dissatisfaction with the behavior of a son or daughter by instructing them to eliminate the results of leprosy. Let them not succeed the first time, but then there will be no desire to commit wrong actions again.

Reaching a conscious age, children, especially boys, will feel their differences from independent peers. If the second one succeeds in many things and trifles easily, then the "mama's sons" cannot cope even with elementary duties. And this leads to the rooting of feelings of inferiority.

Thus, parental overprotection greatly harms children, and does not benefit them. This must be recognized and taken into account in education. The consequences of excessive care negatively affect the development of the child. It should form responsibility and independence, and not nurture a person unprepared for adult realities.

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A child comes into the world as a helpless being, and the care of parents for him is the most necessary condition for his survival. With the help of an adult, a child learns to walk, talk, think, and navigate in the world around him. An adult plays a leading role in the development of a child's personality. It is in interaction with him that the child joins the experience of mankind, as a result of which his psyche is qualitatively transformed, acquiring human characteristics.

Yet when parents talk about caring for their child, they have in mind very specific features of their attitude towards him. Behind this lies everyday worries, things that parents usually worry about.

Parents make sure that their child is not hungry, and prepare food for him so that he is not cold - they take care of the appropriateness of his clothes and shoes for the weather outside. Parents care about the development of the child - teach him, help him, protect him.

All these worries are part of our lives, and we simply do not notice that there is a difference between caring and caring. Moreover, children have different attitudes towards it, and besides, not necessarily positively.

Caring as a pusher. The mother is trying to teach her eight-year-old daughter all sorts of things, sciences and arts. The desire is essentially good, but it does not necessarily lead to the corresponding results. Let's see why.

The girl, at the insistence of her mother, is studying English, music - she goes to the children's choir, and also goes in for figure skating. The mother continually says to her daughter: “I want not only that you have a slender waist, but that you know how to behave in society and take its rightful place in it.” At every convenient moment, the mother repeats: “I will do everything for you, I try to make you feel good.

The girl, inquisitive and capable, happily began to go to the classes offered to her and carry out the “development program”. However, after a short time, the girl had vague doubts about the expediency of all this, a feeling of protest arose: “Why do I need to study music and English, if I don’t like all this at all? I would like to do better painting or more time to play in the yard with my friends... Mom says that it's all for my own good and that I should enjoy such opportunities. But are all the activities that are useful really so uninteresting?

The care of the mother is not perceived not only because she overdid it, overloaded the girl with a variety of activities. The main thing is that the girl herself does not see the point in them, they are devoid of attractiveness for her. The girl is placed in a situation of conflict. On the one hand, she does not want to upset her mother, on the other hand, she does not want to do everything that a caring mother orders. All this leads to the fact that the girl begins to sleep poorly, bites her nails, and more and more often she has a bad mood.

Care as protection and guardianship. Mother and father believe that life is difficult and hard, and their child is still so small, helpless and naive. Therefore, they protect him from possible troubles, difficulties. Parents help the seven-year-old with lessons: they call his friends if the son forgets what is given at home; they check if he put everything in a briefcase when he goes to school. The parents are caring. How does this affect the boy? If you ask the teacher what she thinks about the boy, she will say: not independent, Gives up before the slightest difficulties. Classmates will add: "mother's son", he is afraid of everything.

And the boy himself perceives such an attitude of his parents not as a manifestation of love, but rather as an annoying interference in his life.

Over time, the child protests more and more against the mentoring of parents, avoids communicating with them.

The two options described - care as a "push" and care as protection and guardianship - are examples of excessive care. Although outwardly everything looks “normal”, we are dealing with a pronounced lack of understanding by parents of the inner world of the child. Such an attitude does not help the development of children, but, on the contrary, distorts it, hinders it. In the depths of such a parental relationship lies the non-recognition of the autonomy of the child, distrust or the imposition of his decisions and desires on him.

In both cases, the parents are more concerned with fulfilling the role of the “ideal parent” than with their real child, his unique personality, his needs - real, not imagined. What advice would you give to such parents? First of all, be more clear about the needs of your child and take a closer look at what exactly he is striving for. A child is an autonomous person who has the right to make his own decisions and preferences, and not a doll from which parents need to make a “real person”.

The child creates himself, whether we like it or not. He needs to try for himself what he can and what not, to find the path on which to go. This path, of course, is not without mistakes, but how can a person learn to walk without getting bumps? The problems, the difficulties that he encounters along the way are his problems, not his parents' ones, and he himself must learn to cope with them. Of course, parents want to help, their help is sometimes simply necessary. However, it will be more useful if difficulties and problems are not eliminated by anticipating, but by showing, suggesting to the child possible solutions to them. In one of the songs, the mother sings that if she could, she would remove all the stones from her son's path and put pillows in his path so that he would not be hurt when he fell.

The feelings of the mother, her desire for the child to be fine, are understandable. However, our concern for the child is our problem, and sometimes it is simply necessary to cope with such a feeling.

The child faces a difficult task - to learn to overcome the difficulties and obstacles that arise in front of him, to feel faith in his own strength. In fact, parents, who take care of everything in the world on their shoulders, thereby behave simply irresponsibly: it is physically impossible to always and everywhere accompany and take care of their son or daughter, and by firmly tying them to themselves with excessive care, they knowingly doom their children to a series of serious life failures.

The child perceives the care of parents in different ways: sometimes as a manifestation of love, and sometimes as a hindrance and suppression. Numerous studies by psychologists show that for harmonious development he needs a certain balance of care, guardianship and freedom, autonomy from an early age. This is realized in the so-called democratic attitude towards the child. He must not only feel warm feelings from his parents, see their concern for him, but also perceive that his parents approve of his independence, give him the opportunity to choose and encourage his independence, self-determination, that is, they understand and respect him.

Questioning parents, we came to the conclusion that most of them consider the democratic style the most acceptable and think that they themselves adhere to it. However, it is one thing to think so, and another thing to act accordingly. To really carry out such an attitude, from the very beginning it is necessary to distinguish our aspirations from the desires of the child. It is not so rare that what is necessary and useful from the point of view of parents seems unattractive to the child. Almost always, when opinions differ, we try to convince the child, to influence him, arguing something like this: “I have a huge life experience, but what does he understand?” This is justified when it comes to the norms of human existence, a healthy lifestyle.

But much more often we try to convince the child that it refers to his personal choice, which, to be impartial, is no worse and no better than ours - we just don’t like it. The son is friends in the yard with a boy who we do not like, instead of the violin we have chosen, the child likes football more, in our opinion, the child prefers a bun to useful beans. Parents are often so convinced of the correctness of their attitudes that they resort to scientific and pseudoscientific arguments to substantiate them, they do not notice the reality that contradicts them.

Imagine for a moment a conversation with such parents, who “exactly” know what their child needs, choose for him, envelop him with unnecessary care.

Psychologist. Please tell me, do you have a friend, an acquaintance whom you respect, consider a valuable person?

Parent. Yes, and probably not alone.

Psychologist. And they all look like you as individuals? Are they similar to each other?

Parent. Probably not, maybe something. Often their views differ from mine. In general, they are quite different people.

Psychologist. Which of them is the most valuable as a person?

Parent. Sorry, but this question seems stupid to me. They are all people, they are all valuable, but each in their own way. Each of them found his own style of life, communication. You can't treat every person the same way.

Psychologist. I am happy with your conclusion. Well, what about your child? How do you know in advance what he should be like, what he should do, from what he should be removed and protected?

The main aspect of the democratic attitude is the recognition that the tastes, thoughts, judgments of another person have the same right to exist as our own. Moreover, for another person they are justified, as well. how they rely on his, and not on our personal experience, understanding of the world. With such an understanding of the other, a truly democratic position is also possible in relation to the choice, self-determination of the child: “Although I like this, I am glad that you were able to choose what you like, that you do what you think is right. I know that you will meet difficulties, but you yourself must be able to anticipate them, to cope with them. If you want, I will help you."

Help is most effective and brings a sense of mutual satisfaction when it is really needed, when the child himself asks for it. It is paradoxical that often we do not hear just such a request, we bypass it, but on the other hand we are willing to offer pseudo-help, which is not needed at all, humiliates a person, and at the same time we still count on gratitude. Let's look at one example.

A 9 year old boy is learning to play the flute. The mother hears, being in the kitchen, that he is playing the exercise incorrectly. She goes to him and says: “You are playing wrong. Let me show you how to do it and help you learn the exercise.” The son says that he plays correctly and will learn it himself. However, the mother sits next to the boy and every time he makes a mistake, she corrects it. The scene ends with the boy getting angry, then losing his temper altogether and crying. Mother is at a loss: she wanted to help! What's wrong with pointing out mistakes to a child?! She unsuccessfully tries to calm her son down. In the end, the mother loses patience and, leaving the room, says: “You can never be taught anything! Well, play as you want!”.

The situation ended in mutual irritation, the child was left discouraged, humiliated, with a shaken faith in his own strength. This is the price of unnecessary interference.

As a compliment to the mother, we can say that she learned a lesson from this. Look what happened a few days later.

The mother, hearing her son's mistakes in the exercises, after some time entered his room and said: “What difficult exercises you have today! If you need to show or explain anything, call me.” Being in the adjacent room, she heard that her son repeated the exercise several more times with errors: he feels that something is wrong, but he cannot play otherwise. Finally he calls his mother, and she comes and asks what help he needs. The boy says that the rhythm is not clear to him. Mom, clapping her hands, shows the rhythm, and the boy quickly understands what the mistake is. Mom leaves the room and after a few minutes she hears the joyful exclamation of her son: “Mom! It turns out! Learned!

In this case, both were satisfied with each other and with themselves. The boy was able to cope with the difficult task himself, the mother is glad that she unobtrusively helped the child, she is glad of his success. This is a great reward for believing in the strength and independence of another person.

Every person, and especially a child, has enormous opportunities for development. In addition, he is inclined to improve himself, his attitude to the world. The easiest way to prevent him from doing this is not to believe in his strength and wisdom, to treat him like a piece of clay for modeling imaginary images or like an exotic flower, anticipating that he will die from the first breath of the north wind. In both cases, despite good intentions, your care will be perceived not as love, but rather as an obstacle and a hindrance.

WikiHow is a wiki, which means that many of our articles are written by multiple authors. During the creation of this article, 53 people worked on editing and improving it, including anonymously.

Tired of your parents' overly strict demands? Are you sitting at home away from your friends because your parents have stricter rules? One of the most difficult things for parents is to trust their children with their independence, because there is no single parenting formula that would suit every child. Therefore, teenagers must earn the trust of their parents and prove to them that they can enjoy their independence within reason. After reading this article, you will learn how to earn the trust of your parents.

Steps

make a list special privileges that you would like to receive from your parents. Part of the reason your parents don't want to let you do anything that makes them even the slightest uncomfortable may be the fact that they're afraid you'll take advantage of it and ask for something else. You can reassure parents of this by coming to them with a final list that lists an acceptable number of privileges. Leave 5-6 free lines after each requirement.

• For example, depending on your age, the list might include the following:
  • Curfew extended until 11pm on Fridays
  • Maximum two nights per month
  • You can take a walk after school, provided you are on time for dinner (18:30)
  • Possibility to borrow parents' car for at least one weekend night
• Don't ask too much at once, because you risk angering your parents and end up with nothing. Remember that the process of earning trust is a long-term process. Once you've shown your parents that you're fine with just a few privileges, you can gradually expand your list of freedoms by asking for more (say, at least in a month or two).

1. Under each requirement, write a list of reasons why you deserve it. Come up with statements that fall into the following categories: 1) how you have already demonstrated your responsibility in using the privileges, 2) how you will prevent their abuse, and 3) what the consequences of their abuse will be.

   Plan a serious conversation with your parents. Speak at the right time, over a cozy family dinner, just mention that you've been thinking about increasing your privileges, and that you have several reasons why they might be expanded. Depending on your parents' preference for conversations, you can discuss the matter right away or schedule a time for the conversation.

   Start the conversation with an understanding approach. Realize that your parents have legitimate concerns about forbidding you from doing more things on your own. Take your talking list, but don't start bombarding your parents with demands. Instead, approach the conversation something like this: "Mom, dad, I understand perfectly why you are afraid to let me go out with my friends whenever I feel like it. Because you can't know for sure what we're doing, and you won't be around if anything happens.But I think we can find a compromise on this issue, I think I've earned your trust and I can get more freedoms.Because I'm maturing and developing - almost # #-year-old -- teenager, and I need to express my opinions and make my own choices in certain matters."

   • At the first reaction of your parents, you will have to decide whether to shelve the conversation, whether to continue with the pleasant introduction or move on to your list.

2. List the benefits you want and the good reasons for them, and be prepared to compromise. Discuss the items on the list with your parents, and always have examples ready to show that you are good and prepared for more freedoms. Your parents may get into an argument about certain requirements or part of them, but this will mean that you are moving in the right direction. In the end, you still have to compromise. Your parents may not allow you absolutely everything you ask for, but this is quite normal. Remember that building trust is a long process and if you take responsibility for the things they allowed you do, you will be able to ask for more in the future.

   • Listen to your parents and their warnings. Take them seriously. Your parents care about you and want the best for you, so understand that they won't be able to be around you and therefore want to make sure you're actually ready for more independence. So listen patiently to your parents' concerns and try to reassure them respectfully by giving specific examples of your responsibility and inspire them to give you the opportunity to prove it.

3. If your parents are not very responsive to your suggestions, give other reasons why it is good for you to be more independent for your development. Use a calm and understanding tone when giving these reasons, as they may be difficult for your parents to accept, especially if you are the first child in the family.

   • Remind your parents that you will turn 18 sooner or later, that you will be self-taught in college, and that they will not be by your side forever making all the decisions for you. If you are coddled all the time, it will interfere with the development of your personality. So it's a good idea to practice speaking your mind and making decisions while you're under parental care and in a relatively safe environment.
   • Emphasize social development. You need to go out and chat with friends and meet new people. If you don't know how to get along with others, then your hopes for future job prospects will be numbered. People are often hired and fired, scolded and praised for things that are subjective and intangible, such as interpersonal relationships. If you can make your interviewer laugh, you will greatly improve your chances of getting the job. If you manage to catch your boss for lunch occasionally, you will soon notice an increase in your productivity.
   • If your parents use school as an argument to keep you at home, then you should remind them that IQ is not everything. But EQ - emotional intelligence - is very important for future career success, as mentioned above. Too many students blindly strive to score the highest on standardized tests and get the highest grades, instead of personal development and building relationships with classmates - the kind of people who can recommend you to your first employer.
   • If your parents are afraid that you will make a mistake and jeopardize your future, remind them that mistakes and failures are a natural part of growing up. Of course, you will avoid making the wrong decisions, but in the end, even If you really get into some kind of trouble, then having the ability to correct the situation and not repeat such a mistake again is no less important. Your parents will not be able to protect you all your life from failure, so you will have to learn a lot from them in order to be able to prevent such things on your own in the future.

4. Behave responsibly. Don't expect your parents to treat you like an adult if you act like a child. Clean your room, offer to babysit your younger siblings, don't throw tantrums, and so on. Even if you just let them know that you are doing well when you are away from them, this will already be a good manifestation of responsibility.

5. Realize that sometimes your parents really know better than you. Especially in familiar situations, they know exactly what they are talking about. If they're hesitant about you going on a date or walking with a certain group of people, swallow their words and give them some serious thought. Your parents are wiser than you.

   • Never lie. If your parents find out, it will ruin all your work to gain their trust.
   • Try to be reasonable when you reason.
   • Remember that the length and content of any conversation is always very important. It is not recommended to start a serious conversation when none of you will be focused on it.
   • Be open. If your parents see that you are being stubborn, then you will seem to them a child who is unable to accept their point of view.
   • Never do behind your parents' back what they forbid you to do.
   • The key to any relationship is communication. True, it doesn't matter if you feel uncomfortable talking to your parents. But there is a first time for everything.
   • Don't forget that just because your parents told you no, it doesn't mean that they too much protect you. Most likely, you just mean a lot to them.

What kind of parent to be? Surely everyone asks himself this question and everyone strives to become the best. Someone's life, habits and hobbies change a lot with the advent of children, someone remains in a more familiar way. To date, certain styles have been formed, directions in parenthood, so to speak. I do not undertake to build a clear system, I just wanted to make a sketch of the classification of parenthood, select several groups from the general mass and describe their characteristics. How objective my attempt is is up to you to judge.

The first group - active parents. They differ in that they have time everywhere and always with children. Babysitting is not for them. From birth, they take their babies on trips and do not experience discomfort. Most often among these parents are lovers of tourism, outdoor activities. These people are not afraid of children's "sores", and it seems that their confidence makes their children healthier. Everyone envy their enthusiasm and courage, many dream of becoming the same someday, only a few become so if they manage to overcome their inner fears and prejudices.

natural parenting. Such mothers and fathers often choose the tactics of "active non-intervention." They do not like to resort to pharmaceuticals: colds in children are treated with folk remedies or homeopathy. Such people love nature and want to create the most natural habitat for the child. Mothers carry newborn babies near the body in slings, and do not carry them in a stroller, they breastfeed for several years. The child is protected from technological progress and gadgets. Such families prefer/dream to live in the countryside. Many of these parents are fond of ethnography, go to historical festivals.

fashion parents. Let's call them that. Their kids have the best stroller in the area and a large wardrobe from Western brands that you probably haven't had in your entire life. They are not afraid of the fact that the era of new toys has come, and their children play with passion on iPhones and tablets, giving their parents longed-for moments of peace. To provide the child with the best is the goal of a fashionable parent. Often, the emphasis is not only on the “attributes” of childhood, but also on education: future child prodigies attend many classes from the age of 3-4 and master not only English, but also economics in a playful way.

protective parents. They hang a red bow on the stroller and do not allow anyone to look at the child without certain rituals: nails or spitting, sorry, everyone has their own ... Moreover, parents may not even be completely superstitious, but for the sake of safety, all means are good. In the first months of their child's life, they often call an ambulance, which, upon arriving, discovers a small pimple. They cover all the furniture with silicone pads to make it easier for the child to hit, and the doors in their house stop closing due to blockers so that the child does not press his finger. Their child is always under the supervision of someone or something (baby monitor). Everything in the house is disinfected: from door handles to dad's face. I even heard that there are special vitamins for the child to better adapt in society, but the most interesting thing is that they are given from birth. In general, everything is used: medicine, religion, folk remedies, superstitions, new technologies ... Prevention of everything is the slogan of such mothers and fathers.

I deliberately exaggerated the qualities that are inherent in my friends and myself. Perhaps there are many more types of parenthood than I could single out, and they are unlikely to occur in a “pure” form ... In my opinion, most parents combine an assembly of certain qualities from each type. I hope you choose only the best. Your sanity will help you!