Touch language: what does it mean? (4 photos). Secret language of touch

According to the theory of five love languages, one of these languages ​​is the language of touch. You can recognize him in a person who loves to cuddle, cuddle children, shake hands, and express joy when touched. Now let's find out more about this.

Who speaks the language of touch

If you're with someone whose love language is touch (or "language of physical contact"), be aware of when touch is important to that person. to keep them timely.

The timeliness of touch depends largely on the mood and desire of the other person. One single mother shared her experience: “I can tell if my son needs to be touched by the way he enters the house.

If he slams the door loudly, it means: "Don't touch me!". If he closes the door quietly, it means: "I want you to caress me, mom."

Another single mother said the following: "I determine the mood of my daughter by the distance with which she talks to me. If she is standing at the opposite end of the kitchen, then she is not in the mood for tenderness. And if she comes close to me, then you can hug her."

Often people whose love language is the language of touch express their mood through sign language. It can be judged by the distance in a conversation, by the manner of holding hands (for example, crossed). Observing body language will help you determine the timing of contact.

Do not touch a person when he is angry. Anger is a feeling that usually drives people away from each other. If you try to hug an irritated person, you will probably get rebuffed.

Physical contact in such cases, as a rule, comes from the desire to control the situation, which, of course, is regarded by the other person as an encroachment on his freedom. Therefore, he will strongly resist your touches.

How to learn the language of touch

If there is a person next to you whose love language is the language of touch, the most important thing is to learn the language of touch. And you can only learn by doing. I suggested to one client that for two months at a meeting and parting with their parents, hug them.

I think it won't hurt them, but it will give you confidence.

Marty hesitated for a moment and then said:

Ok, I'll try and see what happens.

Our conversation was short, but Marty's determination to improve her relationship with John gave her the strength to carry out her plan.

The next time I met a girl, she said:

Your advice really helps. I even improved my relationship with my parents. When I hugged my mother for the first time, I did not feel any reaction from her, as if there was a stone pillar in front of me. But over time, she began to hug me back.

How's things going with John? I asked.

Great. John appreciated my initiative to hold hands, hug and kiss. And I began to feel more comfortable. John is a great guy!

And he probably often says kind words to you?

Yes. And no longer reproaches me, - said Marty.

The great thing is that you can not only manifest the language of touch, but also master any of the five love languages. Your desire to express love in a language of love that your loved one understands will deepen your relationship. As for physical contact, it is necessary to take into account the wishes of the other person. The decisive role in this matter is played by the time, place and nature of touches.

How important is touch

It is very important to choose a good environment for touching. It's about context, not about sexuality. Let's say a 10-year-old soccer boy loves having his mom hug him after every little league football game.

He runs towards his mother, wherever she stands, hoping to hear warm words and throw herself into her tender arms. But at the age of sixteen, a high school son will no longer seek his mother's hugs with such zeal and is unlikely to want her to caress him in front of everyone. For children of this age, the touch language should be changed. They need to be touched carefully, carefully looking for a convenient place for this.

The same goes for romantic encounters. Hugging and kissing alone or in front of everyone are two different things. What is permissible in one place is unacceptable in another. The most important thing is to respect the wishes of the person you are dating. Forcing hugs where a partner feels uncomfortable is selfishness, not an expression of love. This brings us to the ways of touch.

Love Language 5: Touch

It's no secret that touch is one way to express love. Studies confirm that babies who are often picked up, hugged, kissed, physically and emotionally develop faster than those who are left alone for a long time. However, this is not a modern discovery. When the Jews recognized Christ as a great teacher, they brought children to him, "so that He would touch them."

Remember, the disciples thought that Christ did not have time to deal with such trifles, and did not want to let these parents in. But Jesus was indignant and said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for of such is the kingdom of God. I tell you truly, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it. And he embraced them, laid his hands on them, and blessed them." Wise parents know how much affection children need.

Touch can also express marital love.

For some, this is the only way to feel it. They need to hold hands. They need to be kissed and hugged. Then their vessels of love are filled and they know they are loved. Otherwise, they are not sure of the love of their spouse.

There is a saying: "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." In other words, dinner will help you win love. Therefore, many women feed their husbands as for slaughter. And yet it would be more correct to say: "The way to the heart of some men is through the stomach." One person told me: “My wife spends the whole day at the stove. She cooks wonderfully, invents new dishes. For whom?! I love potatoes with meat. I don't need fine dining. When I tell her this, she gets offended. She thinks I don't appreciate her. And I just feel sorry for her wasting so much time. If she wasn't in the kitchen all day, we could be together and she'd have the energy to do something else." It was obvious that "something else" was much dearer to his heart than food.

This woman made a mistake. Her mother was an excellent cook, and every time, getting up from the table, her father said: “Everything was very tasty again! I love you so much!" He appreciated her efforts, at home and away, he did not miss the opportunity to praise his wife's culinary talent. His daughter learned: to please a man, you need to feed him deliciously. Yes, that's just her husband did not get her father. Her husband did not understand this language of love.

From talking to him, I quickly realized that "something else" meant sex. Then he believed in her love. But if, for some reason, she refused intimacy, all culinary delights were in vain, he doubted that she loved him. He also liked good food, but food could hardly replace what he called "true love."

Touch can express love and sometimes hate.

Sex is just one of the dialects of this language. Touch differs from the other four senses in that touch receptors are located throughout the body, rather than in any one area. They perceive external stimuli and convert them into electrical signals. The brain analyzes these signals. This is how we recognize hot and cold, hard and soft. We can feel good or hurt. So you can feel whether we are loved or hated.

Some parts of the body are more sensitive to external stimuli. This is explained by the fact that receptors are unevenly distributed throughout the body. So, on the tip of the tongue, on the fingertips, on the tip of the nose there are a lot of them, but on the shoulders and on the back there are relatively few. However, we will not delve into physiology. Consider this question from the point of view of psychology.

Touch can express love or hate. If your spouse speaks this language, he will believe touches more than the words "I love you" and "I hate you." A slap in the face is offensive to any child, but for a child whose mother tongue is touched, nothing could be worse. Kissing is pleasant to all children, but a child who speaks this language sees love in them. The same with adults.

Expressing love to your spouse in the language of touch can be done in different ways. There are tactile receptors throughout the body, which means that any gentle touch speaks of love. But some are more pleasant for your spouse. Which? Better to ask him about it. If you want to love him, you must know his dialect. You should touch him the way he likes and when he wants to. Perhaps some touches are unpleasant for him. And if he tells you about it, try to avoid them, otherwise you will no longer express love. This will mean that you only care about yourself, and he is indifferent to you. It would be a mistake to assume that what you like is also pleasant to him.

There are touches that require attention from you: massage, intimate relationships. But touches can also be fleeting. For example, pouring coffee into a cup, you put your hand on his shoulder; or, passing by, lightly snuggle up to him. Of course, the first kind of touch requires much more time, because first you need to understand what pleases your spouse. If he wants you to give him a massage, sign up for a massage course and learn. Spare neither time nor money. If his native dialect is sexual intimacy, read the appropriate books to help you express love to him.

Fleeting touches do not take time, but can be much more difficult for you, especially if this language is foreign to you and you are not used to tenderness. When you sit next to you and watch TV, hug your spouse, this does not require special strength, but it will tell him about love. When he leaves for work or comes home, kiss him, it won't take long, but it's very important to him.

Once you understand that touch is your spouse's native language, you are only limited by your imagination. If you used to avoid tenderness in public, change your habits. In a restaurant, hold your wife's hand when leaving, hug her waist, kiss her when you get into the car. This is how you fill her vessel of love. If your wife is out shopping, kiss her goodbye and maybe she'll be back early. Be gentle. But do not forget to ask if your touch is pleasant to your spouse. Remember, he has the last word. You are learning his language.

Each person "speaks" and "hears" about love in the "language" that he understands. Often we do not understand each other simply because we do not know what kind of “love language” is inherent in our partners.

When we love and feel loved, we grow wings and feel strong, confident, and fulfilled. Every child yearns for love. Whatever a person does, everything is empty, if love does not move him.

Agree that each of us puts our own meaning in love. The reason for this is that people speak different love languages. It's not enough to be sincere. In love, you need to explain yourself in the language of the one you love. Linguists distinguish many languages: Russian, Japanese, French, English, Spanish, Greek, etc. With emotions - the same. The language in which you express love is as different from your partner's language as English is from Chinese. Very rarely do partners speak the same love language. Everyone uses their own language and wonders why they seem not to hear it.

How do we express love? When do we feel loved? And why don't they understand us? Speaking different languages, you cannot fill each other, and love seems to go away, habit or cooling takes its place.

Gary Chapman, working for many years as a family psychologist, came to the conclusion that there are five love languages ​​- five ways in which people express their love. Let's take a look at each of these five languages.

Love Language 1: Words of Approval, Encouragement

Praise and gratitude will always help you express love. And it is better to clothe them in simple sincere words:

    “What a delicious dinner! You're a great cook!"

    "What a fellow, washed the dishes"

    Thanks for taking out the trash

    "Thank you for taking the child to kindergarten"

    "You are so beautiful in that dress!"

    “It's good that you didn't forget to pay your bills. You help me so much, not every husband does this.

If spouses constantly hear such words from each other, the weather in the house will change for the better. But!!! Don't use praise to get your way. This is not love. Praise your spouse to give him pleasure, joy. And yet such is the law: when we are praised, we are grateful, and we are likely to want to comply with any request. Praise can achieve much more than grumbling. Praise is just one way to express love in words.

The dialect of this language is encouraging words. “To encourage” means “to give courage, courage”. It happens that sometimes we feel insecure, and despite the ability, because of the lack of courage, we cannot achieve something. Perhaps your spouse is waiting for your support and encouragement. Maybe talent is dormant in your spouse, and abilities are not in demand, and he is waiting for support from you. Tell him words of encouragement, support.

But we must see the world through the eyes of our spouse.

We need to know what's important to him. Only then can we really support him. And the meaning of our words of support is: “I understand you. It's important to me too. I'm with you. How can I help you?" We show a person that we believe in him, in his abilities. We admire him in advance. Love is kind, and if you want to talk about love, choose kind words.

The way we speak is very important. The same phrase can sound different. Sometimes the words say one thing, but the intonation says another, and then our message can be interpreted in two ways. Usually people pay attention to intonation, not words. The way you speak is extremely important. “A soft word calms anger,” as one wise man said.

Love asks, not demands. If we want mutual understanding, we need to know each other's desires. However, it is very important how we express these desires. If we demand, issue ultimatums, we destroy any possibility of intimacy. If we ask for our desires, this is a guide to action. “I love your apple pies so much, they turn out so delicious. Can you bake this week? The husband helps express his love to his wife, approves of her and creates intimacy. And here are the words: “I don’t even remember the last time I ate pies. I’m unlikely to try them in this life, ”they not only do not create intimacy, but also discourage the desire to do anything.

Turning to your spouse with a request, you confirm his value, his dignity. You show that he is able to do something important and useful for you.

Love Language 2: Quality Time

Spending time together means giving your full attention to someone. When you sit next to each other on the couch, staring at the TV, you are not together: your attention is absorbed by the news, not by each other. Turn off the TV, look at each other and talk, focus your attention on the interlocutor. Go for a walk together, have lunch together, but not burying yourself in the newspaper, who in the TV, but turn your attention to each other, ask how the day went, what was interesting for each of you.

When my husband and I sit next to each other and talk, looking into each other's eyes for twenty minutes, we give each other twenty minutes. This time cannot be returned, which means we have given another piece of our life. This shows love.

The main thing is to feel that we are together, that we pay attention to each other. The language of time has many dialects, one of which is a conversation, a confidential friendly conversation, an exchange of thoughts, feelings, desires. If time is the native language of your spouse, child, then such conversations are simply necessary for him to feel that you love him.

When someone tells us about their problems, we immediately rush to solve them. And this is our mistake. Marriage is not an arithmetic problem, the most precious thing in a family is relationships. And when someone tells us about his problems, he just wants to be listened to, sympathized with, and not solved by his problems. He does not need advice, but understanding and support. We must listen to each other, empathize, try to understand the thoughts, feelings and desires of the other. It is possible to give advice, but only when they are asked from us, and, of course, not in a patronizing tone.

Few of us know how to listen, we are better at speaking. And if your child or spouse has a love language of time and a dialect of conversation, you will have to learn to listen.

Here are some listening techniques:

    look into the eyes of the interlocutor, do not be distracted, be attentive.

    do not be distracted by extraneous matters, your attention is needed entirely. And if you are in this moment very busy, say about it: "I'll listen to you with pleasure, but let me finish my business first, and in 10 minutes I will be completely at your disposal." Your request will not offend anyone.

    try to catch his feelings, to understand what your interlocutor is experiencing at the moment.

    Watch for facial expressions and gestures that will help you better understand the interlocutor. Sometimes words say one thing and facial expressions another.

    do not interrupt the interlocutor, you do not need to correct him, make excuses, defend your views. Your goal is to listen, to understand his feelings and thoughts.

Conversation requires not only the ability to listen, but also the ability to open up to others, to talk about your thoughts, feelings, desires.

Get into the habit of talking daily with someone close to you. Have each of you talk about at least three incidents that happened during the day and share your feelings and thoughts.

Another dialect of the language of time is joint classes. Together we can do everything that is interesting for at least one of us. It doesn't matter what you do, what matters is why you do it. The goal is to be together. You feel, “He shares my interests. He enjoys spending time with me." For some, it is the voice of love.

When you do something together, you have shared memories. It is an inexhaustible source of joy. Happy husband and wife who have something to remember. “We often remember how we walked along the seashore in the early morning, how we planted flowers in the spring, how once, picking mushrooms, we got lost and looked for the way in the sun, how we went ice fishing for the first time and I caught a lot of fish, how we swam in the lake during a thunderstorm, how they skied and I, going down the mountain for the first time, fell and rolled down in a snowdrift, how I drove for the first time on my own and screamed with delight, and my husband smiled happily, how we met the dawn on the road, how they listened to the bells in Kizhi, how they sat by the fire and dreamed, and then made their dreams come true…”. All these are memories of love.

Love Language 3: Gifts

You can pick up a gift and say: “He thought of me” or “She remembered me.” After all, to give someone a gift, you have to think about it. A gift is a symbol of this thought. And it doesn't matter how much money you spent. The main thing is that you thought about the person, your thought is dear, which was reflected in the gift.

Young children often give gifts to their parents, and this confirms that the basis of love is a gift. Gifts are visible symbols of love.

Gifts come in all colors and sizes. Some are expensive, others are worth nothing. To a person who speaks the language of gifts, their price is most often indifferent. (It matters only if it does not correspond to the capabilities of the donor: if a millionaire gives ruble gifts, there is a doubt - does he love?).

If gifts are important to your spouse, you should learn how to give them. Actually, it is the easiest language.

A gift can be bought, found, made with your own hands. You don't have to give expensive gifts. “I remember that one early spring I admired a clearing covered entirely with delicate anemone flowers. Since then, every spring, my husband gives me delicate bouquets of these flowers, which he himself tears along the way. And they are no less dear to me than luxurious roses or orchids.

Being close to your spouse at critical moments is the best thing you can give him if his native language is gifts. If you need your spouse to be there, ask him for it, don't expect him to read your thoughts. And when you are asked, "Please stay with me today," take this request seriously, even if it seems like a whim to you. Your refusal can be interpreted completely unexpectedly.

If you want the other to feel your love, you need to speak his language, and you may have to reconsider your attitude to money. If you are a very thrifty, economical person, then you will have to overcome an internal protest: I don’t even buy anything for myself, why should I give gifts to her! But just for yourself you buy a lot - confidence and self-respect, i.e. satisfying your own emotional needs. But the emotional needs of the spouse - no. If her love language is gifts, then a gift is the best investment for her. Invest in love, this is the most reliable investment!

Love Language 4: Acts of Service

Help. To help is to do something for another. Helping your wife, you are trying to please her, expressing love.

What can be done? Prepare dinner, set the table, wash the dishes, wash the car, iron the linen, wipe the bathroom mirror, clean the sink, trim the bushes in the garden, collect leaves, change the water in the aquarium and the toilet for the cat, you never know what can be done for a loved one . All this is help, it takes time and effort. And if we are happy to help, we express our love.

If your love language is help, say so, ask for it. Requests help express love, but orders kill love.

If before the wedding your companion did something for you, this does not mean at all that he will do it after. Before the wedding, when we are in love, we are not like ourselves, we are driven by feelings and needs. How we will behave after the wedding is unknown. Clearly one thing is different. This leads us to the fact that love is a choice, love cannot be forced. Criticizing your spouse helps define their native love language. If you do not satisfy his emotional needs, he resents the loudest.

Criticism is a way to ask for love. Although not the best. If you understand this, take criticism as information, and then, perhaps, criticism will turn into a request.

You can’t manipulate guilt: “If you loved me, you would have done it,” you can’t intimidate: “Do it, otherwise you will regret it!”. This is not love. You can't treat a person like that.

You may have to change the way you think about what the husband does and what the wife does in the family in order to learn the language of help. For many, the parental family is a model of marital relations. But you must abandon stereotypes, because your family is your family, and everything can be different in it.

Love Language 5: Touch

It's no secret that touch is one way to express love. Studies confirm that babies who are often picked up, hugged, kissed, physically and emotionally develop faster than those who are left alone for a long time.

Touch can also express marital love. For some, this is the only way to feel it. They need to hold hands and need to be kissed and hugged. Touch can express love and sometimes hate. A slap is offensive to any child, but for a child whose love language is touch, nothing could be worse. Kissing is pleasant to all children, but a child who speaks this language sees love in them. The same with adults.

But perhaps some touches are unpleasant for your partner. And if he tells you about it, try to avoid them, otherwise you will already express not love. This will mean that you only care about yourself, and he is indifferent to you. It would be a mistake to assume that what you like is also pleasant to him.

There are touches that require attention from you: massage, intimate relationships. But touches can also be fleeting: pouring a cup of coffee, you put your hand on your shoulder, passing by, lightly pressed against it when you sit next to you and watch TV, hug your spouse, this does not require much strength, but it will say about your love. When the husband leaves for work or returns home, hug him, kiss him, it will not take much time, but it is very important for him.

If you used to avoid tenderness in public, change your habits. In a restaurant, hold your wife's hand when leaving, hug her waist, kiss her when you get into the car.

Be gentle. But do not forget to ask if your touch is pleasant to your spouse. Remember, he has the last word - you learn his language.

It is necessary to determine what language your spouse, child, partner speaks, but first, let's make sure that you know your love language. It happens that it is enough for a person to hear the name of the five love languages ​​- and he immediately understands which language he himself speaks, and which one his spouse speaks. Others are more difficult.

There are three ways to determine your language:

    What hurts you? What bothers you about your spouse's behavior? What upsets? The opposite, perhaps your language.

    What do you most often ask your spouse? Your requests are most likely related to your native language.

    How do you usually express love yourself, what do you do? You probably expect the same from your spouse. Perhaps this is your love language.

Learning to speak the love language of people you love is an important and necessary thing that should be given attention. After all, the benefits of this are enormous: an understanding arises between you and your husband, you and a child; it becomes easier for you to communicate with your family; you fill each other's vessels of love, support, help; you have more energy and time.

Five love languages:

  • Words of encouragement.
  • Time.
  • Present.
  • Help.
  • Touch.

We have already considered in more detail the languages ​​\u200b\u200bof "", "". What is the language of love "Touch", how to use it skillfully and what are the features in its application in relation to a husband, children?

Touch language tools

This language is also one of my favorites, so there are many points here.

First of all, sex. Sex is just one of the dialects of this language. No need to think that if everything is fine in your sex life, then no more touching is needed. Your spouse, whose love language is Touch, may need a lot more. What else could it be?

It could be massage. By the way, you can learn how to massage well, this will be another “plus” in your piggy bank.

Behindchange words touches. It's good to say: I love you”, but for a person who understands love through touch, your touch is important, action is important. Touch your spouse the way he likes, and when he wants it. Because there are touches that are unpleasant at some point or to some parts of the body are unpleasant. Someone does not like it when they take them by the elbows or by the knees, or touch the neck. Find out what your spouse likes and don't just do what pleases you.

It can be fleeting touches when you just put your hand on your shoulder, stroke your head, touch your cheek. Something unobtrusive, natural, that can express love.

hugs, kisses- it is necessary. You can count how many times you hugged your spouse or child. There should be at least 20 hugs per day. Follow the rules!

Hold hands, express tenderness in public. For people whose love language is “Touch”, it is important that the spouse shows his love in public. How? Through touch, of course.

Touch for support in hardship. When there are some difficult moments in life, touch your spouse.

And be sure to learn don't push yourself away. If a person with a love language of “Touching” reaches out to you, even if you are not in the mood and do not want to hug, kiss, touch, do not push him away from you, because this will hurt his soul very much. You can gently move away from being touched, but don't push away.

Love language "Touch" and children

Hugs and kisses. When children are small, we hug and kiss them a lot. Children grow up, begin to disobey, “swing rights”, and you don’t always want to caress them. But please hug and kiss! You can even keep track of how many times you did it in a day, because it's important.

Particularly important fleeting touches. When children grow up, especially boys, it is no longer always possible to hug and kiss them at any time. But to hug, pat on the shoulder, pat on the head, pat on the cheek - this is possible. It's appropriate.

Still very important comic wrestling and brawls especially for boys. They need physical contact, but they can no longer tolerate these “calf tenderness”, girly hugs and kisses. Therefore, fights and fights are very important for them. This is also touching, so it's good when they push. Mostly this happens with dad, but you can do it with mom, you even need it.

Very important touch before bed. In general, the time before bedtime is a unique time when you can convey love to a child and invest a lot of good things in him, which he will remember for a lifetime. The way a child goes to sleep is important for the formation of his entire subsequent psychological life. Therefore, touch the children before going to bed, do a massage, stroke their heads, while saying words of love.

Shared sleep. This can compensate for separation, for example, if you work all day. You come back and are still there for the whole night, this is of great importance for a person whose love language is “Touch”. So, children, for example, at the age of three, when they have already moved to separate beds, in the morning they run to mom and dad in bed. Don't push them away. This will not last forever, but during this period it is important for children.

Don't punish with touch. Do not push away when a child wants to cuddle you somehow, hug you, even if you are unhappy with him and do not want to hug. Be very careful with touch, because through it you can convey to children both a lot of love and not love.

If your husband's or child's love language is "Touch", be generous with hugs, kisses, touches. And don't forget to count how many times you hugged your loved ones. 20 at least :)

Now you know about love languages. Become a polyglot - and the result will not keep you waiting. You will see how the atmosphere in your home will change, and relationships with your loved ones will improve much. Showing love to your loved ones in a language they understand will make them happier. And they, believe me, will not remain in debt either.

It's no secret to anyone that touch - onefromwaysexpresslove. Studies confirm that babies who are often picked up, hugged, kissed, physically and emotionally develop faster than those who are left alone for a long time. However, this is not a modern discovery. When the Jews recognized Christ as a great teacher, they brought children to him, so that He touched to him».*

Remember, the disciples thought that Christ did not have time to deal with such trifles, and did not want to let these parents in. But Jesus was indignant and said: Let me go children come to to me, and not hinder them; for such eat kingdom God's. Truly I say to you: who not will accept kingdoms God's, How child, that not will go in in him. And hugging them, laid hands on them and blessed them** Wise parents know how much affection children need.

touchescanexpressandmaritallove.

For some it the only one way feel her:

    They need to hold hands.

    They need to be kissed and hugged.

    Then their vessels of love are filled and they know they are loved.

    Otherwise, they are not sure of the love of their spouse.

There is a saying: " Path to heart men lies across him stomach ". In other words, dinner will help you win love. Therefore, many women feed their husbands as for slaughter. Still, it would be more correct to say: Path to heart some men lies across stomach».

One person told me: Wife whole day holds at plates. She is wonderful trains, invents Everybody new dishes. For whom?! I AM I love potatoes with meat. to me not needed exquisite lunches. When I I say her it, she is offended. Her seems, I her not appreciate. AND to me simply it's a pity, what she is in vain spends so many time. If would she is not stuck out the whole day on kitchen, we could would to be together and at her remained would strength on what- then other". It was obvious that "something else" was much dearer to his heart than food.

This woman made a mistake. Her mother was an excellent cook, and every time, getting up from the table, her father would say: “ Everybody was again very yummy! I AM So you I love!" He appreciated her efforts, at home and away, he did not miss the opportunity to praise his wife's culinary talent. His daughter learned: to please a man, you need to feed him deliciously. Yes, that's just her husband did not get her father. Herhusbandnotunderstoodthislanguagelove.

From talking to him, I quickly realized: what- thenother"meantsex. Then he believed in her love. But if, for some reason, she refused intimacy, all culinary delights were in vain, he doubted that she loved him. He also liked good food, but food could hardly replace what he called "true love."

Sex - onlyonefromdialectsthislanguage. Touch differs from the other four senses in that touch receptors are located throughout the body, rather than in any one area. They perceive external stimuli and convert them into electrical signals. The brain analyzes these signals. This is how we recognize hot and cold, hard and soft. We can feel good or hurt. So you can feel whether we are loved or hated.

Some parts of the body are more sensitive to external stimuli. This is explained by the fact that receptors are unevenly distributed throughout the body. So, on the tip of the tongue, on the fingertips, on the tip of the nose there are a lot of them, but on the shoulders and on the back there are relatively few.

However, we will not delve into physiology. Consider this question with points vision psychology .

Touch can express love or hate.

If your spouse speaks this language, he will believe touches more than the words "I love you" and "I hate you." A slap in the face is offensive to any child, but for a child whose mother tongue is touched, nothing could be worse. Kissing is pleasant to all children, but a child who speaks this language sees love in them.

The same with adults. Expressing love to your spouse in the language of touch can be done in different ways. There are tactile receptors throughout the body, which means that any gentle touch speaks of love. But some are more pleasant for your spouse. Which? Better to ask him about it.

If you want to be in love him , you must know him dialect :

    You should touch him the way he likes and when he wants to.

    Perhaps some touches are unpleasant for him. And if he tells you about it, try to avoid them, otherwise you will no longer express love. This will mean that you only care about yourself, and he is indifferent to you.

There are touches that require attention from you: massage, intimate relationships. But touchmayto beandfleeting. For example, pouring coffee into a cup, you put your hand on his shoulder; or, passing by, lightly snuggle up to him. Of course, the first kind of touch requires much more time, because first you need to understand what pleases your spouse. If he wants you to give him a massage, sign up for a massage course and learn. Spare neither time nor money. Ifhimnativedialect - sexycloseness, readrelevantbooks, itwill helpto youto expressto himlove.

Fleeting touches do not take time, but can be much more difficult for you, especially if this language is foreign to you and you are not used to tenderness. When you sit next to you and watch TV, hug your spouse, this does not require special strength, but it will tell him about love. When he leaves for work or comes home, kiss him, it won't take long, but it's very important to him.

Once you understand that touch is your spouse's native language, you are only limited by your imagination. If before at people you shunned tenderness, change their habits:

    In a restaurant, hold your wife's hand when leaving, hug her waist, kiss her when you get into the car. This is how you fill her vessel of love.

    If your wife is out shopping, kiss her goodbye and maybe she'll be back early.

Be gentle. But do not forget to ask if your touch is pleasant to your spouse. Remember, he has the last word. Youteachhimlanguage.


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