What can I do to make my girlfriend reconcile with me. How to make peace with a friend in different situations

How to reconcile with a friend in different situations? There are many options for how to proceed if she or you are at fault, and even if she does not want to talk.

Jealousy

Is your girlfriend paying less attention to you? Perhaps she has found someone with whom she is more interested. It could be:

1. An object of love. Every girl finally finds a young man with whom she wants to spend all her time. Yes, and conversations on her part are only about him. For a certain time, friendship between girls can end, but not for long. In the end, then she will definitely want to share all her innermost with a person who supports her and understands her perfectly.
2. If you started dating a young man, then you will immediately notice resentment from a friend. She will accuse you of paying less attention to her, "changing her for a guy." This is fine. Help her find a soul mate, and then she will begin to understand you perfectly.
3. Another girlfriend/company. Most likely, your friendship has come to an end. If now one of you wants to communicate with other people, then your interests no longer coincide. There is one way to try to maintain friendship - to try to join the newly minted company. If these people could not captivate, then it is worth preparing for the fact that for now you have to do without a girlfriend.

Emotions

Disruptive emotions include:

1. Envy. Often it can be caused by a more successful marital status of one of her friends, her career, financial condition, appearance, ability to dress, etc. A lucky girl should stop demonstrating her achievements, and an envious woman should moderate her ardor and start working on herself.
2. Touchiness. It is easy to “hurt” such a friend by saying even a little criticism of her or an unsuccessful joke. Permanent pouty lips quickly get bored, but what if a girlfriend is actually very good? It is necessary to learn how to delicately communicate with such people and every time to say that no one meant anything bad. And that girl who is used to being often apologized to her should start treating herself and others more rationally, raise or lower her self-esteem (depending on the nature of the offense).
3. Pride. Here there was a quarrel, and one of the girlfriends considers herself too good to be the first to approach. Here, the second girl should be made clear that if she is not to blame, then once again she will not come up, because both should always make concessions.

views

They can break up at any moment. She thinks so, you think differently ... In principle, there is nothing wrong with that: everyone has the right to their point of view. However, when these disagreements become too much, the friendship slowly comes to naught.

To avoid this, it is important to follow some rules:

1. Chat about these topics. To find out why your opinions differ, you need to talk. On both sides, certain arguments, arguments should be given. Perhaps one of you will be able to convince the interlocutor.
2. Change the subject. Can't agree? Start talking about something else. Let everyone just have their own opinion. And don't focus on it anymore. Maybe this trifle will never come up in your conversations again. Then why waste your nerves?

How to make peace with a girlfriend

If I'm to blame

Reconciliation can be done in the following ways:

1. To apologize. It is better to do it in words, but in the world of modern technology, you can use other methods: send a postcard to Vkontakte or Odnoklassniki, write an SMS, send a ringtone with appropriate content, etc. The main thing is that the meaning is sincere and expresses your thoughts and desire to reconcile. It is easier to reconcile by correspondence, because here you will not be able to interrupt each other, which means that you have the opportunity to fully reveal your point of view and make arguments.
2. Write a letter. The easiest way to reveal your soul to your girlfriend is through a letter - a regular paper note, an email on social networks or email, etc. Tell her about all your feelings and desire to not end the friendship.
3. Make a pleasant surprise. In order to make peace with a friend, sometimes her favorite chocolate bar is enough. Even if the resentment was strong, she could hardly resist smiling.

If she's to blame

A friend may not understand that the disagreement was her fault. There is nothing wrong with that, because it happens to everyone. The fact is that she may be looking at the situation from a different angle, so she cannot understand the course of your thoughts.

In such cases, you can come up first so that the friendship does not fall apart due to the usual misunderstanding. Here you can apply one of the following options for reconciliation:

1. Come up with a conversation. The tone should be calm and friendly. Your task now is to tell your friend that, in principle, the essence of the quarrel is not so important as to lose good friends because of it, which is why you came up first. In most cases, this can quickly resolve the conflict.
2. To find a compromise. To do this, you also need to start a conversation, during which it is worth offering several options for resolving the situation at the center of the conflict. Listen to her wishes, express yours. This is exactly what mature diplomatic people do in order to achieve the best results in cooperation with the person of interest. It would be nice to learn from them.
3. try to joke. This method is suitable for people with a sense of humor. So, with a laugh, you can say something like: “Well, how long do I have to wait until you apologize?” or “Well, don’t worry, I forgive you!”. But you need to say it in such a way that it is clearly visible that this is a joke. You can also start telling some funny story or plot from a comedy movie / show. So, with a smile on your face, you will quickly make up and start communicating with a good mood.

Important!
If a friend often makes mistakes, you do not need to approach her first every time in order to reconcile. Otherwise, she will begin to behave a little wrong: she will overestimate her self-esteem, lower yours, begin to act up and turn everything in her favor every time. You also need to have your own core.

If she doesn't want to talk

If a friend literally ignores you, and you no longer know what to say so that she makes contact, then:

1. Write to her. If she does not want to listen to you, express your thoughts on paper or a computer monitor. Surely interest will take its toll, and your girlfriend will not be able to resist not reading your message.
2. Leave her alone for a while. When her emotions subside, she can calmly analyze everything. And the next time you want to talk to her, she might not refuse.
3. Girlfriend no longer wants to be friends with you. To find out, ask her directly about it. If the answer is yes, please clarify if this is only related to the cause of the last conflict. Yes - you can still try to regain friendship, no - everything has been lost here for a long time.

If the reason is

So, a third appeared in your couple, and he is a man - yours or hers. At first, the three of you communicate well, but then you notice that disagreements have begun to appear.

Let's analyze 2 scenarios:

1. Are you jealous. First you introduce your girlfriend to your boyfriend, then you take her with you to a cafe, for walks, etc. Then it seems to you that some kind of spark runs between the two of them, and they begin to flirt with each other. Maybe you did, or maybe not! Very often, the mistresses of a young man / husband are best friends. At this point, it is worth distinguishing between love and friendship so that this does not happen to you. Meet your girlfriend alone, and talk as much as you like about your female features.
2. She is jealous. It would seem that you are just having fun with your girlfriend and her lover, but after a while the girl begins to look askance at you, say unthinkable things about what she sees, how you look at each other, and then completely stops communicating . To avoid these situations, try to contact her loved one as little as possible: do not be alone, invite your friend to your place alone, without her boyfriend / man, and if you do cross paths, then keep conversations with him to a minimum.

Important! And even more so, do not admire your friend's beloved: they will both certainly take it for flirting, even if it was said out of politeness.

If the reason is money

Rescuing each other with money, you risk losing a friend. Let's consider two situations.

She owed

You can, of course, keep silent about the debt, but later, when she asks for a loan again, a storm of emotions will boil in your soul. On the basis of this, a quarrel may arise. Therefore, it is recommended not to delay with a reminder, and as soon as necessary, say that you need that money.

You need to say this delicately so as not to seem petty and greedy. So, you can go from afar: “How are you with money now?”, “I urgently need a certain amount of money at the moment, can you repay the debt to me in the near future?” etc.

you owe

It happens that debts are simply forgotten or we mistakenly think that we have already paid the money. If this happened to you, do not be offended that your friend reminds you of your forgetfulness, because she also counts on this amount. And even, perhaps, in order not to fall in your eyes, she constantly “squeezed” her expenses until her patience really burst.

In this case, you must sincerely apologize and return the borrowed funds as soon as possible.

Another variant of debt is simply nothing to give back. This is especially true when it comes to large sums. If this is the case, then talk honestly with your friend and say that you will repay the debt in installments.

Important!
If you owe money, you need to temporarily forget about cafes, movies, shopping, clubs and other things that you can do without. If you spend money on this, but do not repay the debt, referring to the fact that you are still “strained” with finances, this will characterize you very badly. In the future, they will try not to give you a loan.

What to write as a sign of reconciliation

Sometimes it's very easy to reconcile with a friend via SMS. Of course, you need to act on the basis of the scale of the quarrel. Sometimes one “I’m sorry” is enough, and in some cases a heartbreaking letter will not be enough.

The simplest SMS templates:

• "I'm sorry, I was wrong";
• “I don’t want our friendship to end there”;
• “I love you, stop being capricious” - for persons who do not want to meet halfway;
• “If you get offended, I will find you and…” - finish the joke at your discretion, at the end, do not forget to put a smiling emoticon.

You can also enter a joke that is relevant in your couple, and much more that can melt the heart of an offended girlfriend.

1. Don't talk about your girlfriend. Especially with mutual friends. Even if you had a big fight. After all, all this “dirt” will sooner or later reach her, and then there will be a big discord between you.
2. Don't be humiliated. If a friend "traded" you for other girls and does not want to make contact, do not say out loud that she no longer needs you. This is how you admit defeat. It is better to step aside silently with pride. Also, you do not need to impose yourself if your girlfriend does not meet halfway for a long time, when you have tried a lot of ways to make peace with her.
3. Listen to the wishes of a friend. If she asks not to discuss this or that moment or not to do certain things, then it is unpleasant for her. Do not annoy in vain, otherwise it may begin to repel you.
4. Know how to forgive. Look at the situation from the outside: maybe, in fact, the cause of the conflict is quite insignificant? Consider all the positive aspects of this person. Is resentment worse?

Be attentive to your girlfriend and value your union, because good people come across very, very rarely.

Video: How to apologize

Photo: Iakov Filimonov/Rusmediabank.ru

You are “sworn” friends, and others perceive you as one. But one day, not the most beautiful day, a black cloud appears in the form of a quarrel and subsequent ignoring each other on the horizon of your peace and harmony. Naturally, you are offended, upset, upset and have many other negative feelings. But if emotions subside soon, another, more important question remains: how to make peace and rebuild relationships? We will not give you a universal recipe for restoring friendly relations, but we will take the liberty of giving recommendations for establishing a constructive dialogue. So let's get started.

Why do we fight with close friends?

Quarrels sometimes accompany friendships, like any other, but if the quarrel was trifling, the unpleasant aftertaste from it quickly disappears. Another thing is if it has serious reasons, for example:

Criticism towards each other or "one-way";

A love or friendship triangle, when one of you lacks attention and communication due to a male passion that has appeared or a new circle of acquaintances. This can also include flirting with someone else's loved one;

The difference in views on life, hobbies, politics, religion, etc., which results in misunderstanding;

Desire to give advice left and right, even if it is not asked;

Elementary, as a result of which it is not uncommon - evil and malicious words, allusions, irony. As a result, the conflict can flare up like a match.

What to do if a quarrel with a friend bothers you? Consider a quick guide to bonding friendships:

1) Analyze the situation

Think about what caused your relationship before attempting reconciliation. Maybe she or you were just not in the mood, some of you have real problems, or the conflict has been brewing for a long time, and a careless word or action just worked like a detonator. In any case, this stage must be passed in order to soberly assess the degree of one's guilt in the quarrel and take the correct further actions.

2) Take the first step

Even if you were not the culprit of the quarrel, it would be an adult act to make the first attempts at reconciliation yourself. Have the courage to do this not through virtual communication via SMS or messages on social networks, but by phone or, best of all, in person. Take courage and apologize to your friend if you feel guilty. Or ask her about the reasons why she was offended and let her speak. Throw nonsense out of your head that the weak make the first step. On the contrary, only strong-willed individuals do this, for whom the words “conscience” and “honor” are not empty sounds.

3) Don't pressure your girlfriend

It is harder to take a step towards yourself if you have offended you. Therefore, stop trying to sort things out by putting pressure on a loved one and bringing evidence of her guilt. Try to forget about the quarrel, even if it is difficult enough to do it, otherwise mutual insults will grow to a universal scale. Perhaps she didn't mean to offend you at all. Start a conversation on abstract topics just to somehow start it. As the conversation progresses, it will be much easier to apologize or accept an apology.

4) Take a time out

The advice is good if the conversation does not stick, and attempts to establish communication do not bring results. Give the person time to figure out the reasons for what happened, draw their own conclusions and understand how to behave further. Do not accuse her of coldness and unwillingness to restore friendship: everyone needs their own period of time to draw reasonable conclusions, and not be guided by emotions.

What to do if a friend does not want to put up

It happens that you go out of your way in the desire to improve past relationships, and she fundamentally refuses to meet halfway. You should not diligently impose your desire on your girlfriend to make peace at all costs. Perhaps the time has come with this person: views on life and interests have changed so much that it is already pointless to return friendship. Therefore, calmly let this person out of your environment and be ready to meet new people. By the way, you should not take this advice literally and cross out a previously close person from life. Try to establish and maintain normal relations that are characteristic of civilized people. Perhaps companionship will be better for both of you than "friendship forever."

No matter what negative emotions and resentment towards your girlfriend you experience, you should remember one truth: friendship is a gift from God, and not everyone can experience it. If you are lucky enough to find a loved one, try to keep this gift from heaven. Any conflict is a test of your friendship for strength, but it is possible to get out of it with minimal losses if both of you draw the right conclusions, forget about omissions and continue to be more careful about each other's feelings.

Probably, every girl has such a special friend, with whom so many different things have already been done together that it seems that nothing can quarrel. Usually such relationships are tied up from kindergarten or elementary school, and continue for many years. Of course, therefore, only years can test your union for strength. Such friends need to be appreciated, they will always support you in difficult times, listen and be sure to give good advice. They can be safely trusted with all the most intimate secrets. You can discuss handsome co-workers and ex-men, feel free to go shopping and elicit an opinion about whether this polka-dot skirt and pink bow on the pope makes you look fat. And she will definitely tell the truth, because this is a real friend.

However, there is no friendship without a quarrel. After all, everyone has such periods when they are not nice. At such moments, even the dearest person can be offended by a careless word. What to do if this did happen, and how to make peace with

First, soberly assess the situation that has arisen, as well as the degree of guilt. Think, because if you simply have a girlfriend, it’s certainly not to blame for falling under a hot hand, or rather, a hot tongue. If the problem is that you somehow rudely answered, shouted, or simply broke down, throwing a tantrum with screaming and throwing, then it would be best to just wait a little time. This is necessary, first of all, for you yourself, in order to completely calm down and not repeat the incident when trying to reconcile. In this case, even a call will be enough. Just explain to your friend that it’s hard for you now, your nerves were on edge, so it turned out that she was the last one. Be sure to apologize, because you did not mean to offend anyone. She will understand, believe me. The world can also be sealed with a joint trip to a cafe.

How to reconcile with a friend if in a quarrel you switched to personalities and insults? But this is a much more serious offense. After all, no matter how angry you are with a person, if you don’t want to completely erase him from your life, never remember in the heat of the moment all the worst that you can get from the corners of your heart. Who knows what someone once said or did. Keep in mind that you live here and now, and what was - is gone. And do not recall particularly painful moments just to hurt a person. Resentment can be much more serious than you think. If this nevertheless happened, there is nothing left but to sincerely and hope for the understanding of a friend, if most of the blame lies with you. Explain that you "acted like a fool" (a simple but quite effective phrase), that you did not want to offend her so much, that your relationship is dearer to you than any memories. Be sure to let her know that you are repentant and do not hold a grudge, no matter what happens between you earlier.

How to reconcile with a girlfriend if she does not answer phone calls? How do you think people used to communicate? The phone is not a panacea for all grievances. Show that you really care about your girlfriend. Come to her house, because live communication always brings people together, and a frank and warm eye-to-eye conversation is the best answer to the question of how to make peace with a friend in case of a sudden quarrel. Let's say you come and she's not at home. Or she does not want to let you in (depending on the scale of the offense). A pretty powerful statement is that you won't leave until you've been forgiven, or at least talked to her about what happened. To prove your words, just sit at her door. Too childish, you say? And here it is not. Believe me, the main thing in this business is to show the person that you care about him. In the end, if this is your really good friend, she will not allow you to sit in a cold corridor and, as a result, will definitely invite you to a conversation. So don't be afraid to show your emotions if you really feel guilty about yourself.

How to reconcile with a girlfriend if a quarrel occurred because of a man? This is perhaps one of the most difficult situations. Not every woman is able to forgive this. If the matter has not yet gone far, and you realize that you have made a mistake, then it is still quite possible to correct it. However, situations are different, and if you allowed yourself to take away from a friend not just a boyfriend, but a permanent beloved man (or, even worse, a husband), then one can hardly hope for a pardon on her part. Therefore, always soberly look at the current situation and think about the possible consequences. After all, relationships can turn out to be a fleeting hobby, and you will cause serious pain to your girlfriend and thereby lose her forever.

In any case, if it so happened that an urgent question arose in your life about how to make peace with a childhood friend, act according to the circumstances. Trust your heart, because no one better than you will be able to find an approach to a dear and close person.

Women's friendship is especially important! A good friend is always there to help. He listens and supports when the need arises. Losing a close relationship with her because of a quarrel is especially insulting. Cheer up, there are ways to reconcile.

1. It’s better to never quarrel with a friend, but if this happens, take a step towards the first one. Try not to think about the quarrel, but talk about something more pleasant. Well, for example, give her a compliment: “What is your beautiful dress today (hairstyle, makeup, manicure)? Tell me, who invited you on a date? Such a question can make her smile, and there is not far from a truce.
2. If you do not see each other every day, take courage and call, specify the recipe of her signature dish, which you want to please your husband or boyfriend. “Better than the pies that you bake, I have never tried” - do not skimp on compliments. The person will notice that you are trying to correct the situation with such behavior and, most likely, will understand how important your friendship is to you.
3. Let someone 3rd, who allegedly does not know that you are in a quarrel (you can tell him about this in secret), will reconcile you, invite you somewhere where you will encounter unexpectedly.
4. You won’t be able to talk, let this person say: “Girls, why did you quarrel? Make up urgently, I have never met such friends, your friendship should be erected a monument! A positive assessment of your relationship from the outside may make your girlfriend think about their value.

What to write to smooth out the impression of a quarrel?

If you are afraid to call a friend with whom you had a fight and meet with her in person, write her an SMS, an email or a message on a social network. In the latter case, by the way, you can make her a nice private gift. Remember some good occasion - her angel's day, professional holiday, 10 years of your acquaintance, etc.

Be sincere. Remember what your friend asked you to do before the fight. Maybe she wanted to know the phone number of your manicurist or hairdresser, the address of some store, or asked you for a movie. Write to her about what she needs, offer your help.

Do not think that your girlfriend will never forgive you, maybe she is also sitting at home now and thinking about how to come up with a reason to make peace with you.

What to do if a friend is at fault?

You will make a major mistake if you remind your friend that she is to blame. Reconciliation never begins with memories of grievances. If you have forgiven a person, put an end to this and do not return to the past.

A good way to reconcile is to pretend that nothing happened, but this does not always work out.

What was your friend's fault? Didn't repay your debt? If you don’t want to tell her about it directly, say: “Imagine, I was left completely without money, a colleague borrowed from me at work and does not give back.” How will your friend react? Will he remember his duty? If she doesn't remember, then it's time to remind her directly. Remember that there is nothing wrong with this.

If the cause of your contention was a young man whom your girlfriend allegedly took away from you, think, maybe it’s not she who is a traitor, but he betrayed you? And, perhaps, these are sincere feelings that united these people beyond their will. Think about who is more important to you, he or she. Maybe they are better suited to each other? Tell your friend that you are happy with her happiness, but you will not give her anyone else. By doing so, you may not only not lose a girlfriend, but also gain a good friend in the face of a former young man.

If this is not a very joyful event in your life - a quarrel with your beloved girlfriend - then you should not scatter in different corners, pouting on each other, like a mouse on groats. It is unpleasant, of course, and this can happen to any of us, because each person has his own views on life, and far from always people agree on these views. But breaking off friendship because of a quarrel would be unwise.

Restoring friendships can not only heal heartache, it can also improve the quality of our lives. Psychologists know that friendship helps women to reduce stress and make them feel happier. Connecting with a friend allows us to share joy and experience adversity together. Therefore, true friendship requires that you demonstrate your willingness to ask for forgiveness and again become a support to your girlfriend in all the joys and sorrows of life. And if you do not know how to make peace with a friend, overcoming her resentment and not humiliating herself at the same time, we will teach you how to do it best.

Consistent steps towards reconciliation

Let's say you can't even understand what offended your girlfriend so much. You see that she is angry with you, but you don't know why. Try to figure it out for yourself first. Analyze everything that you said or did just before you began to notice that she began to get angry. Maybe you remember what you could say that could make her angry and disappointed in you.

Whether you figured out the reasons for her resentment or not, you need to talk further in any case. Call a friend and tell her that you would like to meet to discuss the incident with her and find ways to restore friendship. If you feel uncomfortable calling her, you can write a letter and send it by email. Make an appointment somewhere in a public place, such as a park or cafe. This will create a more relaxed environment that will relieve stress.

At the very beginning of the meeting, tell your friend that she is very important to you. If your girlfriend is sure that you value your friendship with her, then it will be much easier for you to start a difficult conversation and establish a friendly tone of conversation. In general, it is considered very successful to begin a difficult conversation with a mention of your feelings in order to achieve a successful outcome.

Acknowledge your role in the deterioration of relations between you, if it is really your fault. Sorry for your mistake. Take responsibility for the spat, even if you don't believe that you alone are to blame for the situation. Any psychologist will tell you that now the most important thing is the desired reconciliation and restoration of the old relationship, and not finding out who is more to blame and who is less. Of course, sometimes it is very difficult to take all the blame on yourself, sometimes you just want to prove your case; but, if the question of preserving friendship is at stake, then one must leave one's pride until better times! How to make a friend reconcile differently if she sincerely considers you to be guilty of a quarrel?

Use "I-statements" throughout the discussion. Say “I feel”, “I see”, “I believe” or “I want” instead of saying “you ...” - otherwise you will force your interlocutor into a defensive position. When you talk about yourself and your feelings, your friend will not see the conversation as an attempt to accuse her of something.

Listen carefully to your friend without trying to judge what she has to say. During such a complex and sometimes not very pleasant conversation, the listener often makes up in his mind a refutation of everything he hears from the interlocutor. Often these thoughts burst out, and we begin to interrupt the speaker, we begin to argue with him. So, if you really want to make peace - by no means do it! Listen carefully without interrupting, and only ask clarifying questions from time to time to make sure you understand everything correctly.

After you have discussed everything and found a compromise, give her time to move away from resentment. Do not rush her, do not figure out how to make things right with your friend as soon as possible. You have already done everything that depended on you, now you just have to wait until the relationship is finally restored.

• Keep giving her gifts - for her birthday, for example - or recognizing her accomplishments. Even if your friend is still angry with you, this is how you can show her that you still love her.
• Never spread rumors about her while you are angry after an argument. And never try to win over your mutual acquaintances by describing your conflict. It may seem very tempting to show your friend how wrong she is, but you risk losing all your friends altogether by acting like this.
• Fight for your friendship. Don't let petty grievances get in the way of something more important in your communication. Sometimes it is worth making some sacrifices for the sake of restoring friendships. If you cannot sacrifice something for a friend, then perhaps this is not such a real friendship.
• Be patient, don't expect the relationship to instantly go back to how it was before the fight. Only time will tell how to make peace with a friend completely.

Restoring friendship requires courage, honesty, and understanding. By taking the first step towards reconciliation, you will show your friend that you value your relationship with her, and this will help pave the way for a complete revival of your friendship ties.