Children's fears: causes and methods of overcoming. Features of the manifestation of children's fears: causes, types and methods of psychological correction in preschool children

Each of us periodically experiences a feeling of anxiety, anxiety and fear - this is one of the aspects of our mental activity. But adults have experience and knowledge that often help to rationalize what is happening and reduce the intensity of experiences. Children do not understand much and experience much more acutely. Often, what frightens a baby may seem like a trifle to an adult. But the feeling of fear makes the child experience really strong emotions that can instantly take over his entire little world.

If the baby complains that he is afraid of something, this is not a reason for ridicule or panic, but rather an occasion to think and talk with the child, try to find out the reason and then decide on further actions. Most children's fears are temporary, with timely detection of fears by adults and the right attitude towards them, they soon disappear without a trace. There are, of course, such fears (neurotic or obsessive) that impede the normal life of the child, interfere with his development and adaptation, and apply to all areas of life - in this case, it is better to seek help from specialists.

What are childhood fears?

Fear is a feeling that arises in response to the impact of threatening factors, which is based on the innate instinct of self-preservation. Psychologists identify two basic threats that cause a feeling of fear - threats to life and human life values. The specificity of children's fears lies in the fact that, as a rule, they are not directly related to the actual threat. Children's fears are based on information that children receive from nearby adults and pass through the prism of their vivid fantasy and imagination.

Causes of children's fears

The most obvious cause of children's fears is a traumatic situation experienced earlier. For example, if a child is bitten by a dog, there is a good chance that he will be afraid of dogs in the future. If parents intimidate the baby with fairy tale characters in an attempt to achieve their own goals, the child may be afraid to be alone or in the dark. The basis for the formation of fears is also the general anxiety of the immediate environment, which broadcasts to the child a huge number of prohibitions and a setting for failure. Mothers and grandmothers often warn children with phrases: “Caution! Otherwise, you will fall, hurt yourself, break your leg.” Of these phrases, the child, as a rule, perceives only the second part. He does not yet fully understand what he is being warned against, but he is filled with a feeling of anxiety, which can develop into persistent fears. Excessively emotional discussion by adults of various incidents and natural disasters, focusing on the fact that danger can lie in wait at every step also does not go unnoticed by children and is a fertile ground for fears.

There are not so obvious reasons that may underlie children's fears:

1. Overprotection
   Children living in a modern metropolis are often subject to excessive guardianship from their parents, they constantly hear that danger awaits them at every corner. This makes babies insecure and fearful. In addition, life itself in a big city is filled with stress and very intense, which cannot but affect the child's psyche in general, making it more vulnerable.
2. Lack of parental attention
   Due to the excessive workload of adults, their communication with children is often very limited in time. Live emotional communication is being replaced by computer games and television programs. Therefore, it is necessary to communicate qualitatively with the child at least a few hours a week, take joint walks, play, and discuss significant moments.
3. Lack of physical activity
   Lack of sufficient physical activity can also cause anxiety.
4. Mother's aggression towards the child
   If the mother in the family system occupies a leading position and often allows herself to show aggression towards other family members, the emergence of fears in the child is almost inevitable. She is not perceived by the baby as an object that will protect and come to the rescue in any situation, so the basic sense of security suffers.
5. Unstable family environment
   An unstable emotional situation in the family, frequent scandals between family members, lack of mutual understanding and support become the cause of chronic anxiety experienced by the child while in the family. Over time, this can lead to fear.
6. The presence of psychological and mental disorders in the child
   Also, the cause of fear may be the presence of neurosis in a child, the diagnosis and treatment of which is within the competence of medical workers. A manifestation of neurosis is children's fears that are not characteristic of the age at which the child is, or correspond to his age, but acquire a pathological manifestation.

Types of children's fears

There are three types of fears:

1. obsessive fears
   These fears the child experiences under certain circumstances that can cause him to panic. For example, fear of heights, open spaces, crowded places, etc.
2. delusional fears
   The presence of such fears indicates serious problems in the psyche of the child. Their cause cannot be found and cannot be explained logically. For example, a child is afraid to play with a certain toy, wear certain clothes, open an umbrella, etc. But, if you find such a fear in your baby, you should not immediately panic, you should try to find out the reason, perhaps he does not want to play with a certain toy due to objective reasons. For example, he could hit hard or fall painfully when he used to play with this toy.
3. Overvalued fears
   These fears are products of the child's fantasy, they are encountered in 90% of cases when working with children. At first, such fears are related to a certain life situation, but then they take over the child's thoughts so much that he cannot think of anything else. For example, the fear of darkness, which in the children's imagination is "teeming with scary monsters."

Age-related childhood fears

Psychologists identify children's fears that manifest themselves in a certain age period, are considered the norm, and eventually disappear with normal development.

• 0-6 months - fear is caused by unexpected loud sounds, sudden movements, falling objects; absence of mother, and abrupt changes in her mood, general loss of support;
• 7-12 months - loud noises can cause fear; people whom the child sees for the first time; changing clothes; abrupt change of scenery; height; a drain hole in the bathroom or pool, helplessness in the face of an unexpected situation;
• 1-2 years - loud noises can cause fear; separation from parents; falling asleep and waking up, bad dreams; strangers; bathtub or pool drain hole; fear of injury; loss of control over emotional and physical functions;
• 2–2.5 years - fear of losing parents, emotional rejection on their part; unfamiliar children of the same age; percussion sounds; the appearance of nightmares is possible; changes in the environment; manifestations of the elements - thunder, lightning, downpour;
• 2-3 years - large, incomprehensible, "carrying a threat", objects, for example, a washing machine; change in the usual way of life, emergency events (death, divorce, etc.); changes in the location of familiar objects;
• 3-5 years - death (the understanding comes that life is finite); nightmares; robbery attacks; natural disasters; fire; illness and surgery; snakes;
• 6-7 years old - fairy-tale characters (witches, ghosts); fear of loss (to get lost or lose mom and dad), loneliness; fear of not meeting the expectations of parents in school, fears associated with the school; fear of physical violence;
• 7-8 years - dark ominous places (basement, closet), natural disasters and catastrophes, loss of attention and acceptance, love from others (peers, teachers, parents); fear of being late for school, exclusion from school and home life; physical punishment; lack of acceptance at school;
• 8-9 years - failure in games, at school; conviction of lying or undesirable behavior; fear of physical violence; fear of losing parents, quarrels with parents;
• 9-11 years - the inability to achieve success in school or in sports; illness; certain animals; height, whirling (some carousels can cause fear); people who carry a threat (drug addicts, hooligans, drunkards, etc.);
• 11-13 years old - defeat; unusual own actions; own appearance and attractiveness; sickness and death; sexual violence; criticism from adults; own insolvency; loss of personal items.

How to deal with childhood fears

Children's fears, which adults do not pay attention to, can result in negative consequences, such as problems in communicating with peers, aggressiveness, difficulties in social adaptation, neuroses and complexes. Therefore, it is important for adults to pay attention to the child's fears in time, to understand whether they are pathological in nature, and, depending on this, try to help the child on their own or seek help from a specialist.

For questions about children's fears, you can contact a psychologist on the portal "I am a parent" in the section "For parents" - "Question to a psychologist".

Consultation of qualified specialists on all issues of concern, including a psychologist on children's fears, children and parents can be obtained by the Unified All-Russian Helpline.

The first step in helping is identifying fear. This can be done during confidential conversation with the child. You can ask the child if he is afraid of specific things. This becomes appropriate only if the child has already reached the age of three years. The parent can gently and slowly question the child about fears, without focusing on any of them, so as not to lead to fixation and suggestion. During the conversation, encourage and praise the baby. If fear is detected, react calmly and confidently, because the child reads your emotional state. So, if a child's fear frightens an adult, the child may experience even more. Ask the child to describe the fear, what it looks like, what he feels, in what situations the feeling of fear comes to him, and what the baby would like to do with it. As a rule, children happily agree to send him to the North Pole, lock him up in a high tower, and so on.

Another effective method is to compose a fairy tale about fear together with the baby, which must certainly end with the victory of the protagonist over fear.

- a fun and rewarding activity. While drawing, you can have a conversation, ask the child about his fear and invite him to look for solutions. And upon completion of the drawing of fear, the sheet with the drawing can be burned, explaining to the baby that in this way you burn his fear along with the drawing, and he will not bother him anymore. Burning must be carried out in the form of a kind of ritual, constantly encouraging and praising the baby for how brave he is, focusing on how well he dealt with fear.

Great for dealing with fears dramatization or play- it is worth noting that the use of this method is widely used by psychologists. Children in the group come up with stories about their fears and, with the help of a psychologist, play the stories in the group. Further, parents can play the situation with the child again at home, but only if this does not cause him negativity.

It is important to remember that fears are inherent in everyone, and they should not be afraid. It is important for parents to learn to accept their children as they are, with all their fears and anxieties. After all, if a confident, reliable and accepting parent is nearby, it becomes a matter of time for a child to overcome fear. All that is required of mom and dad in overcoming children's fears is to be close to the child, be able to listen to him, identify the baby's fear in time, and find the right way to deal with this fear: on their own or with the help of a specialist.

Maria Merolaeva

Childhood fears is a feeling of unease or anxiety felt by children as a response to a real or imagined threat to their livelihoods or well-being. More often, the occurrence of such fears in children occurs as a result of the influence of the psychological nature of adults, mainly parents, or self-hypnosis. However, children's fears should not be taken unambiguously as unhealthy emotions. After all, any emotion plays a certain role and helps individuals navigate the social and objective environment that surrounds them. So, for example, it protects against excessive risk in a mountain hike. This emotion controls activity, behavioral reactions, leads the individual away from dangerous situations, the possibility of injury. This is the defense mechanism of fears. They take part in the instinctive behavioral reactions of the individual, while ensuring his self-preservation.

Causes of children's fears

Every individual has experienced fear at least once in their life. Fear acts as the strongest emotion and is the result of the instinct of self-preservation.

Factors contributing to the emergence of fear can be a variety of phenomena: from loud knocking to threats of physical violence. Fear is considered a natural feeling when a dangerous situation arises. However, many babies feel fears of a different nature more often than there is reason for this.

Children's fears and their psychology lies in the reasons that provoke negative emotions. In infancy, fears are primarily associated with a feeling of loneliness, as a result of which the child cries and longs for the presence of the mother. Toddlers can be frightened by sharp sounds, the sudden appearance of a stranger, etc. If a large object approaches the baby, then he demonstrates fear. By the age of two or three, the baby may have nightmares, which can lead to a fear of falling asleep. Mostly, fears in this age period are due to instincts. Such fears are protective in nature.

The period of life of babies from three to five years is characterized by a fear of the dark, some fairy-tale characters, and enclosed space. They are afraid of loneliness, so they do not want to be alone. Growing up, children begin to experience fears associated, for the most part, with death. They may fear for their own lives, their parents.

In the younger school age period, fears acquire a social connotation. Here the leading feeling may be the fear of inconsistency. Coming to school, the parental child finds himself in a completely new environment for him and changes his own social position, which leads to the acquisition of many social roles and, consequently, many fears come with them. In addition, in this age period, fears of a mystical orientation arise. Children expand their horizons due to their interest in everything otherworldly. They are fond of watching mystical films, closing their eyes while showing especially scary moments. Toddlers scare each other with “horror stories” or scary stories like black hand stories.

As children grow older, the area of ​​​​fears expands. In puberty, the number of fears of inconsistency increases. Adolescents are afraid of non-recognition from their peers and adults, they are afraid of the physical changes that occur to them. For them, self-doubt, underestimation of self-esteem becomes characteristic. Therefore, adolescents need to protect their psychological orientation more than others, since in the puberty period, against the background of neurotic states, the long-term unresolved experiences that have arisen lead to the emergence of new or aggravation of existing fears. The child's traumatic experience also contributes to this. So, for example, children can witness real violence, feel physical pain themselves. Teenagers are afraid of losing control over their own feelings and actions. Such fears can be called neurotic.

However, the most dangerous form of fears are pathological fears. The result of their occurrence may be the acquisition by children of some dangerous consequences, such as neurotic tics, sleep disturbance, obsessive movements, difficulties in communicating with others, or anxiety, lack of attention, etc. It is this form of fear that can provoke the occurrence of quite serious mental illnesses.

Based on the foregoing, it should be concluded that various fears, fears and experiences are an integral part of children's lives. Therefore, the problem of children's fears should be solved by parents by mastering the necessary skills that help to cope with the natural fears of children. For this purpose, it is necessary to understand the main factors that provoke the emergence of fear. All of them have a connection with upbringing in the family, since the formation of a child's personality takes place in the family. Therefore, it is from it that children endure their own fears.

The first and most important factor is closely related to the behavior of parents. Mom and dad of the baby unconsciously or consciously form fear in him through their attitude to the surrounding reality and behavior. So, for example, situations where parents invariably seek to isolate their child from the world and its negative impact only contribute to the fact that the child is constantly under stress. By their behavior, parents develop in the crumbs a sense of steady danger emanating from the world. And since while the baby is small, he strives to imitate significant adults in everything, therefore, if members of his family are characterized by constant anxiety, then he will learn it.

The second factor has a connection with the traditions and foundations that prevail in the family. Any family conflicts frighten the child. After all, being born, the baby brings harmony with him. Therefore, he expects from the most native harmonious relations. If conflict situations are of an aggressive nature, then children can be quite frightened, which will subsequently lead to the appearance of neuroses in the event of similar situations. are also born as a result of the presentation of excessively high demands by parents. They constantly have to justify inflated parental expectations, which leads to increased anxiety in children.

In cases where an authoritarian style of behavior dominates in the family, the child will be constantly kept in the system of minor and serious fears. In the life of such a baby, everything shifts in one direction - the correctness or incorrectness of his actions from the point of view of the wishes of his parents. Such children are more nervous in comparison with their peers and shy. A stable state of anxiety leads to the formation of new fears. In cases where violent influences are applied to babies, children will experience the appearance of a whole bunch of fears. The third factor is interconnected with disturbed, inharmonious communication with peers. Children in the process of communication interaction often offend each other, make excessive demands on their peers. This creates an atmosphere of increased nervousness and is a condition that provokes the emergence of fears in some children.

Diagnosis of children's fears

In order to diagnose fears, you need to understand that there are different types of children's fears. Fear can be real when the innate instinct for self-preservation is manifested due to exposure to external danger.

Fear is neurotic. This type is associated with a mental disorder. The state of constant fearful expectation that appears at different moments that are not related to a specific situation or object is called free fear. It is today the problem of children's fears worries almost every parent. Therefore, an important factor in the work of a psychologist is diagnosing children's fears and identifying the causes. Absolutely any method of diagnosing fears in children aims to detect not so much a variety of psychological illness, but also the cause that caused it.

Some psychologists use drawing to solve the problem of diagnosing children's fears, others can use modeling, and still others choose to talk with children. It is quite difficult to determine the best technique for diagnosing fears, because all these methods give equally effective results. When choosing a methodology, one should take into account a whole range of individual psychological characteristics and age traits of each crumb.

In the classification of children's fears, two main forms can be distinguished: mute and "invisible" fears. Silent fears consist in the denial by the baby of the presence of fears, but for parents, the existence of such fears is obvious. These include the fear of animals, strangers, unusual surroundings or loud sounds.

Fears - "invisible" are the exact opposite of silent fears. Here the child is fully aware of his own fears, but his parents do not see any symptoms of their presence in the baby. Invisible fears are considered more common. Below are the most common. Many children are afraid of punishment as a result of committing some misconduct. At the same time, their mistake can be completely insignificant and parents will not even pay attention to it. The presence of such fear in children indicates the presence of serious problems in communicative interaction with parents, violations in relationships with them. Such fears can often be the result of overly strict treatment of children. If a child is diagnosed with this form of fear, then this is an occasion for parents to seriously think about their own model of upbringing and their behavior with the child, otherwise such upbringing can lead to serious consequences.

Often children are afraid of the sight of blood. Often, babies experience panic at the sight of a tiny drop of blood. Do not laugh at such a reaction. The horror of the test children before the blood is most often due to the usual ignorance in terms of physiology. The child thinks that all the blood can flow out of him, as a result of which he will die. Another common childhood fear is the fear of the death of parents. Often this fear is generated by parents.

Children's fears and their psychology is such that even if children do not show anxiety or parents do not notice the presence of such in babies, this does not mean that they do not have fears of various etiologies and forms.

It is also possible to diagnose fears using specially developed methods, such as the Phillips or Temple test for determining school anxiety, various projective methods, the Spielberger method, etc. Panfilova.

Children's courage and fear

Overcoming fear is considered one of the most significant challenges that children have ever faced. Fear is one of the greatest enemies of the child's psyche. And courage is a quality of character that can be developed. The need for fear is determined by the instinct of self-preservation. However, most children's fears gradually go beyond the boundaries of simple self-preservation. Children are afraid to change something, to look ridiculous, to be different from everyone else. In other words, gradually this emotion subjugates the lives of children. From a quality that was originally designed to benefit the individual, it is transformed into a ballast that hinders movement and a successful life.

Fear is the source of anxiety. Often, as an emotion, in depth and scale, it becomes much larger in comparison with the danger itself. Children are afraid of something, which later turns out to be less harmful than the feeling of fear.

Every individual on earth is afraid of something, but this does not mean that there are no brave people. After all, courage does not manifest itself in the absence of fear, it is expressed in the ability to take control over it. Therefore, the problem does not lie only in the fear itself, it is contained in the understanding of what contributes to its overcoming and control over it. A child with courage is able to overcome his own fears.

Fear does not depend on age and gender. Numerous studies show that in the preschool period, fears are most effectively subjected to psychological correction, since they are mostly of a transient nature. Fears at this age are due to emotions to a greater extent than character.

Many fears in puberty are the result of prior fears and anxieties. As a result, the sooner you start working in the direction of preventing fears, the greater the likelihood of their absence in puberty. If psychological correction is carried out in the preschool age period, then the result will be the prevention of the formation of psychasthenic character traits and neuroses in adolescents.

Children's fears often disappear without a trace, provided that they are treated correctly and the reasons that provoke their occurrence are understood. In cases where they are painfully accentuated or persist for a long time, we can talk about the physical weakening and nervous exhaustion of the baby, the wrong behavior of the parents and the presence of conflict relationships in the family.

In order to help with children's fears, the child's immediate environment should be worked out - as soon as external frustrating factors are eliminated, his emotional state automatically normalizes. Therefore, working with parents is considered the most effective initial method of corrective work with fears. Indeed, often adults themselves are afraid of something, thereby instilling their fears in children.

Courage and fear are two reactions of the child that can be controlled by them. Courage is considered quite an important and necessary character trait. After all, it is courage that contributes to making the right decision, while fear advises doing everything in a different way. Courage helps not to be afraid of the future, not afraid of change and calmly face the truth. Brave children can move mountains. To develop and nurture courage in a baby is the primary task of parents.

For the formation of courage in kids, one should not constantly scold them for all sorts of trifles. You need to try to find moments for which they are worth praising. You can't call a child a coward. It is necessary to try as simply and intelligibly as possible to explain to the baby that fear is a normal human reaction. To teach children to stop being afraid, they should be taught to deal with their fears. And for this it is necessary to sow in children the confidence that their parents will always support them in their struggle. The best weapon against fear is laughter. Therefore, parents need to present a frightening phenomenon in a funny way. For example, you can come up with a fabulous humorous story about a baby who was able to overcome fear. It is not recommended for children to entrust what they, due to their age or characteristics, are simply not able to do. Excessive guardianship can contribute to the development of timidity, fearfulness and even cowardice in children.

Correction of children's fears

Working with children's fears is characterized by specificity, since children can rarely formulate their request for help on their own, when they are afraid of something, they are not able to clearly explain what frightens them. Therefore, for a successful psycho-corrective impact of children's fears, one should first understand what specifically frightens the child - the invented Baba Yaga or the fear of the dark, the fear of loneliness. To this end, you can invite the baby to draw what scares him. A drawing can show a lot of what worries or scares the baby. However, this method will not always be relevant, since children may simply refuse to draw. Their refusal may be due to the fact that he does not want to draw at the moment or is simply not ready to open up. Also, children may be afraid that they will be laughed at. You have to be ready for rejection. In such cases, parents can try to draw their childhood fears and tell their children about them. This will be a good example for kids. However, if the child still does not want to, you should not insist. After all, the purpose of this method is to bring fears to the surface, and not to force the child to close and be left alone with his own fears and fears. The main task in correcting any fears is to bring them to light.

If, nevertheless, the kid painted his fear, then you need to teach him how to deal with it. And in this case, the ridicule of fear will be the best. After all, any fears are afraid of ridicule. You can add funny ears, mustaches, pigtails, a crochet nose, flowers and more to him. The most important thing is that the child himself did it. Let him suggest what should be done. You can also try to somehow beat the fear. For example, a child drew a very scary Baba Yaga, you can invite him to draw next to how she fell into a puddle. That is, you need to make sure that the frightening image is in an absurd or funny situation.

Working with children's fears may include group and whisper therapy.

The main thing to remember is that you should not mock children, you should not dismiss their fears, you should not call children cowards. The kid needs to be helped to understand that fear is a natural reaction of the body, that adults are also sometimes afraid of something, they just learned to take control of fears.

It is also not recommended to arrange courage training for children, especially very young ones. So, for example, if children are afraid of the dark, then at night you need to leave a nightlight turned on or an ajar door to a neighboring lighted room. After all, the nature of fear is irrational, often a person understands that there is nothing to be afraid of, but when he gets into a situation that frightens him, he begins to panic.

All kinds of children's fears can be quite successfully corrected, provided that the parents understand the problem, their competent support for the kids and the presence next to the child when he is afraid of something.

How to deal with childhood fears

The natural and most effective way to overcome and deal with children's fears is the game. Psychologists have established the fact that children experience less fears, being more surrounded by peers. It's so natural when a baby is surrounded by a whole bunch of kids. And when the children are together, what do they do? Of course they play. The observations of psychologists have shown that the game process can provide serious support in the fight against children's fears. Children need to be able to openly and freely express their feelings. Indeed, very often in life there are social restrictions, certain norms of behavior, rules of decency and many other prescriptions that must be followed. The result of this is that the baby does not have the opportunity for self-expression, which may result in the appearance of fears. Of course, there are other factors that provoke the emergence of children's fears, but more often than not, fears arise as a result of parental suggestions and their wrong actions.

So, what should children's games be based on to eliminate fear? First of all, it depends on the specifics of the fears felt by the child. However, there are general guidelines that can help children with any kind of fear. Games should teach children to adequately perceive their own emotions, their awareness, relieve excessive tension, emotional release and release of hormones released during fear. Play therapy should be carried out with other methods in combination. It should contribute to the activation of psychological processes and create a positive attitude. Children should be praised while playing.

Outdoor games are also aimed at overcoming children's fears. So, for example, the fear of loneliness can be successfully corrected with the help of a collective game of hide and seek. If the baby is afraid of the dark, then you can use games like searching for treasure or treasures, the main component of which will be darkness. You can not turn off the light completely, but dim it a little.

Psychologists also advise parents to become "wizards". This means that adults are encouraged to come up with some set of phrases that will mean a spell that drives away or eliminates a frightening object.

However, the fight against fears is better to prefer the prevention of their occurrence. Prevention of children's fears is the observance of a number of simple rules by parents. You can't scare kids on purpose. Also, do not allow others to scare babies. If you do not tell the children about the babayka who will take them away in case of bad behavior, then they will never know about it. You should not be afraid of a doctor who will give an injection if the child does not eat porridge. You need to understand that words, even casually thrown, can soon develop into real fear.

It is also not recommended to tell children or discuss various scary stories with them. After all, they often do not understand most of what is told, but they put together a picture of the pieces, which in the future will become the source of their fears.

Parents should supervise their children's TV viewing time. The TV should not work as a background during the day, as the child can focus on things that are absolutely unnecessary for him.

No need to impose your own fears on kids. Children do not need to know that you are afraid of mice, spiders or other insects. Even if, by chance, seeing a mouse, the parent experiences panic horror and wants to scream loudly, then with the child, you should try to restrain yourself with all your might.

A family for a baby is a reliable rear and protection. Therefore, he should feel protected in family relationships. He must understand and feel that his parents are strong personalities, self-confident, able to protect themselves and him. It is important for a kid to understand that he is loved and even if he commits some kind of misconduct, he will not be given to some uncle (for example, a policeman or a woman).

The best means of preventing fears for children is mutual understanding between parents and their babies. Since for the calm of the child, the development of uniform rules of behavior by all adults involved in education plays an essential role. Otherwise, the baby will not be able to figure out what actions can be performed and which cannot.

The ideal option in the prevention of fears is the participation of the father in games, his presence, for example, when the baby takes the first steps. After all, as a rule, dads react more calmly to inevitable falls.

So that the child is not afraid of the dark, you should be with him until the age of 5 when he falls asleep. It is recommended to go to bed no later than 10 pm.

Children should not be forbidden to be afraid or scold them if they are afraid of something. Parents should understand that children's fear is not a manifestation of weakness, harmfulness or stubbornness. It is also not recommended to ignore fears. Since they are unlikely to disappear on their own.

As a rule, if the baby is surrounded by self-confident adults, a calm and stable environment and harmony reigns in the family, then children's fears disappear with age without any consequences.

Prevention of children's fears should be carried out from the moment the expectant mother found out about the pregnancy. After all, the baby is going through all the stressful situations together with the mother. That is why it is very important to find a pregnant woman in a benevolent and harmonious atmosphere, where there is no place for anxiety and fears.

Hello dear friends! Today I want to touch on a problem that worries many parents: children's fears. Where do they come from and what to do with it?

There are few people in the world who would not be afraid of anything at all. Someone is afraid of snakes, insects, and someone is afraid of the dark and dentists. Some will never fly in an airplane, while others rush screaming away from cockroaches or frogs.

Sometimes the cause of fear is not objects, but entire situations: darkness, closed space, loneliness, uncertainty.

But children's fears are a special case. They arise gradually or suddenly in the life of a child, caused by some traumatic experiences, and sometimes consciously formed by adults. How often do you hear from your mother on the playground: “If you don’t obey, I’ll give you to someone else’s uncle or call the police to pick you up!”, or “Now I’ll call an ambulance so that the doctor gives you an injection with a huge syringe!” And how often adults scare children with a "grandmother" or "Baba Yaga".

The main fears of children of preschool and primary school age:

1. fear of dogs (or cats), insects, reptiles.
2. Night fears (fear of fictional monsters, darkness)
3. Fear of strangers (including doctors and policemen)
4. Fear of being alone at home (or in a room).

This problem has not bypassed our family. The eldest son at preschool age was afraid of dogs and cats. This fear began after he was lightly bitten by a small domestic dog while playing with her. And when his grandmother's cat scratched him, he became afraid of all cats. In this case, the son himself acquired a traumatic experience.

And there are times when parents, wanting to protect the child from danger, often exaggerate: "Get away from the dog, otherwise it will bite!" It is for this reason, it seems to me, that the youngest son is afraid of dogs, because during walks, dad always tried to protect the child from "dog aggression".

How to respond to parents' fears of children and how to help overcome them

The most important thing is to try to understand your child, to react calmly to tears and tantrums, not to call him a coward or a weakling, but to try to distract and calm him down.

If the child is afraid of the dark, it is better to leave a nightlight burning in the room, sit next to him until he falls asleep.

You can ask the kid to draw his fear on paper, and then tear this drawing into pieces or cut it with scissors or burn it, thereby symbolizing that the fear is gone.

Try to use fairy tale therapy, game therapy (consider the situation in a playful way).

Humor also helps: invite your child to draw a monster, ghost or dog in an artsy way, with ridiculous and funny features, so that it would be fun. Encourage your baby's ideas by laughing and rejoicing with him.

Usually children's fears go away on their own by the age of eight or nine. But if the fear has turned into a phobia and does not go away with age, then it is better to show the child to a psychologist.

Today I told you what are the main children's fears, and how to help the child overcome them.
I wish all parents that they do not face this problem. Your sensitivity, attentiveness, love and support will help the baby overcome his terrible fears.

Children's fears are normal, because this is how a child shows emotions, gets used to the world around him and socializes. Some psychologists believe that this feeling is unfamiliar to kids, but as they grow up in preschool and school age, it is observed to be afraid of different things. Anxiety has its reasons. They need to be clarified, because over time, any fear can develop into a real phobia, which will remain in the adult life of a person. Correction of the behavior of the crumbs is carried out different ways, most of which are available to parents at home.

Many adults often wonder why kids are not afraid of anything, because they can do something that makes a man or woman's heart stop and panic arises. This happens for one simple reason - babies do not have a self-preservation instinct as well as mom, dad and older children. However, as they grow older, there is a big jump in the psycho-emotional development of the child, and it is at this stage that fears begin to form in him.

Fear is a strong emotion of the human body, which is formed as a result of the work of the instinct of self-preservation.

The reasons for the appearance of fears can be different.

Many psychologists and educators are studying the formation of anxiety, a sense of danger and fear of something in children. They draw the attention of parents that these emotions in themselves are not a pathology, so they should not be considered delusional. This is a completely normal phenomenon, which is characteristic of many babies due to their rich imagination. But adults should make sure that a small fear does not turn into a phobia. This condition is no longer the norm, it requires consultation with specialists and long-term correction.

Why the child begins to be afraid: all the reasons for the appearance of fears

Some experts deny the possibility of logical judgments on the part of young children, explaining this by the fact that babies take any information seriously. For example, parents said: "Don't touch the dog, it will bite you!". The son or daughter does not understand that the animal will not necessarily behave aggressively, it is possible, but it does not always happen. However, a stereotype has already formed in the mind of the crumbs: all dogs bite if touched, so they must be afraid, they are dangerous. And there are many such examples. The child cannot yet connect logical chains and learn that not all words of adults need to be taken literally, this is just a warning.

In many cases, children are not afraid of anything in particular, but of punishment that may follow from their parents or other adults. That is why mom and dad should calmly explain to the baby why you can’t do something, and not immediately scold the child.

There are other factors in the appearance of children's fears:

• rich fantasy. Once having heard that there is something terrible in a dark room, the baby immediately begins to be afraid. This applies to many phrases and conversations that the child perceives as truth. The same applies to what he saw: after watching a scary cartoon, the baby may get scared and think that this will happen to him in reality;
• action that happened to the child. Most often, certain events are the cause of alarms. For example, a cat scratched a baby, and after that he became afraid, because the animal could hurt again;
  

  Not all children are afraid. Some fall off the bike and immediately get back on it. The appearance of fear largely depends on the character: shy, suspicious and self-contained kids are afraid more often than others.

• tense family situation. Children are very emotional, they are able to repeat the mood of their parents and project it on themselves. Therefore, quarrels, screams, scandals between adults negatively affect the psychological state of the crumbs. He becomes withdrawn, irritable, constantly feels anxiety for any reason. If the situation does not change, such feelings can develop into fear over time;
• lack of friends. As the child grows older, they need to be socialized. This process begins with relationships with other children, first on the playground, then in kindergarten and school. But if no one wants to be friends with the baby, they laugh at his attempts to enter the team, he develops a social phobia. Because of this, the kid is afraid to go to play with the guys, and visiting an educational institution turns into an endless stream of tantrums and nervous breakdowns;
• problems in the nervous system. In some cases, the child has a fear that is not justified. This is an abnormal condition, a pathology, so a consultation with a psychologist is required. Only a specialist can diagnose the disease and make the correct diagnosis. Such fear develops against the background of neuroses, and for psycho-correction, several specialists will need to work with the baby.

Fear of the dark is one of the most common fears in children.

What is the syndrome of childhood pathological fears

Doctors also distinguish a condition called childhood pathological fear syndrome. It is characterized by fear of various objects, actions and phenomena and occurs unreasonably, without any reason. The attack begins with crying, discontent and develops into the strongest hysteria and panic. It lasts a long time, in some cases, children may experience inexplicable anxiety for days. This syndrome is considered a pathology, and psychologists associate it with mental abnormalities in the development of the child, which originate at an early age, but become noticeable by the age of six or seven.

Video: psychologist about the occurrence of children's fears

Methods for diagnosing fears in children

Physicians consider the occurrence of fear as a kind of protective function of the body, which can make itself felt at a certain age, and then disappears over time. Sometimes a short conversation is enough to explain what should not be feared, and the children immediately forget about their problems. However, there are also pathological fears, manifested in the form of a state of horror and shock. They negatively affect the development of the child. A specialist will help you understand whether the appearance of anxiety in a baby is considered normal or not.

To understand the state of the child, you need to diagnose his fears. This will help to find out the cause of the development of fear and then help the baby overcome anxiety. It is best to contact a child psychologist who will select a method for assessing the behavior of the baby, develop a treatment program and give recommendations to parents on what to do in the future.

Experts point out that the formation of fear is a completely normal phenomenon. In this way, the child's body is adapting to the outside world, because much is still unfamiliar and incomprehensible to him.

Child psychologists use different techniques to diagnose fear in children:

• conversation with a child. The specialist carefully thinks through the questions so as not to scare the baby even more. An important condition for a successful therapeutic impact is a trusting atmosphere in which the baby feels protected and begins to reveal all his secrets;
  

  Diagnosing children is very difficult: they are afraid to talk about their anxiety. Therefore, one careless question or the wrong intonation in the voice can ruin the relationship with the specialist, the baby will close in on himself and will no longer make contact.

• drawing. The medic may ask you to draw something on a specific or arbitrary topic. After the child finishes, the drawing is studied. The subject, and the color scheme that was chosen, and the location, size of the figures on a sheet of paper are taken into account;
• fairy tales, questionnaires or tests. This method is more suitable for children of senior preschool and primary school age. An adult may be asked to come up with an ending to the story, to answer some questions;
• modeling. This method is the least used of all the others and is suitable for children who refuse to talk to a psychologist and do not like to draw pictures.

Most childhood fears are easily corrected.

Test for identifying feelings of fear in boys and girls

Many psychologists have developed various tests that can be used to determine the presence of fear and the degree of its manifestation. The technique of Alexander Zakharov and Marina Panfilova "Fears in houses" for children over the age of three is very popular.

1. An adult draws two houses on a blank white sheet: one in red, the other in black.
2. Then he invites the child to play a game: only terrible fears live in the black house, but fearless ones live in the red one.
3. And he begins to list out loud to the baby in turn 29 types of various frightening objects and phenomena.
4. The child, in turn, answers in which of the houses he will place each name.
5. The specialist notes to himself only the fear that the baby will place in a black house.

This technique is suitable for children who do not answer psychologist's questions well and do not like to draw.

All fears in this test can be divided into certain groups:

• medicine (pain during the procedure, instruments such as syringes, doctors);
• fear of death;
• phenomena and objects (loud sounds, car, thunder, water, etc.);
• animals (wild, domestic, microbes, insects);
• darkness and nightmares;
• fictional characters (heroes of cartoons or fairy tales);
• people (other children, strangers and own parents);
• actions (punishment, physical violence);
• space (fear of enclosed spaces, heights, depths).

Depending on the result, the doctors diagnose the baby's condition and determine the course of action to teach the child how to cope with anxiety and fear.

Questionnaire for parents to determine the presence of children's fears, phobias and panic conditions

In addition to various tests, fairy tales and other methods, there are questionnaires that contain a certain number of questions. Based on the answers of the parents, the psychologist assesses the situation and gives recommendations to mom and dad on how to behave in this situation. The following questionnaire is suitable for children aged 4 to 10 years.

1. The child cannot do one thing for a long time, gets tired quickly and is often distracted.
2. Several times in a short time, the mood changes: crying can abruptly turn into laughter and back.
3. The kid is often upset and upset for any reason and without.
4. Any failure causes crying, hysteria, which can last for a long time.
5. A bad mood is a constant companion of a child.
6. Tasks cause anxiety and stress.
7. Anxiety is manifested by frequently repeated actions: thumb sucking, nail biting, constantly fiddling with something in his hands.
8. Cannot fall asleep on her own, wakes up several times during the night, cries in her sleep or screams.
9. Cannot react quickly in many situations.
10. She is afraid of strangers and does not like to play with other children.
11. He cannot make decisions on his own, he is not confident in his abilities.
12. He often changes his mind, it is difficult to agree with him, because in a minute, five or an hour with hysteria, the baby will prove that he wants something completely different.
13. Before a new task, acquaintance feels unwell, indigestion, pain in the head and discomfort in the abdomen.
14. There is increased sweating, especially before something new.
15. There are no favorite dishes or treats, the baby has a constantly poor appetite.

All questions can be answered in one of three ways:

• yes - 2 points;
• sometimes - 1 point;
• no - 0 points.

Table: determination of the level of anxiety based on the results of the survey

Number of points	Characteristic
0 - 5	The child is fine. Such a result is the norm for children of this age.
5 - 9	The problems of the baby are at the initial stage. First of all, the child lacks parental attention.
10 - 14	Increased anxiety, some fears are determined, but they are easy to correct without the help of a psychologist. The main thing is that mom and dad pay enough attention to this.
15 - 19	The kid is afraid of many things, is in a state of constant anxiety. If you do not influence the situation now, the development of neuroses is possible.
20 - 30	critical value. The child has phobias, the development of a syndrome of pathological childhood fears is possible. Long-term corrective therapy is required.

What are the types of childhood fears in preschoolers and schoolchildren

All fears of the child can be divided into several types:

• real. They arise due to the instinct of self-preservation and help the baby to avoid many dangerous situations. Of course, every person has such fears, but adults have learned to control them so as not to succumb to panic and emotional shock. The task of the parents in this case is to direct the understanding of the baby in the right direction, try to understand the cause of the anxiety and help remove it so that it does not later develop into a pathology;
  

  This type also includes obsessive fears. They arise as a consequence of certain cases that have occurred with the child. For example, the baby almost drowned in the bath, so he became afraid of water, and bathing turns into a tantrum. If you do not help the baby in time, such a problem can turn into aquaphobia, which only a psychologist can handle.

• neurotic. The most dangerous fears that may be associated with a mental disorder. The problem is that it is very difficult to determine the cause of fear. Therefore, parents are advised to contact a specialist who, using certain techniques, will assess the condition of the crumbs and will work to correct the situation;
• overvalued. They are most common among children. Almost all the guys at one time or another are afraid of the dark, the negative characters of fairy tales or films, animals, loneliness, etc. The more the child is left alone with the problem, the more fear penetrates the mind and fills all the thoughts of a small person. It becomes an obsession that affects the emotional state of the crumbs in a negative way;
  

  Psychologists give this example: small children are inseparable from their mother. But as they get older, they should be willing to stay with another adult they know, like their dad or grandma, for a while. The child is behaving normally, as always. If an overvalued fear dominates in the mind of the crumbs, he begins to become hysterical, because his mother is not around. These are not just whims, in the thoughts of the baby there is already a certain attitude: it is dangerous to be away from the dearest person, something bad can happen at any moment.

• night. They occur only at night, otherwise the child behaves completely normally. But as the night approaches, the mood noticeably worsens, anxiety appears, the baby suddenly begins to cry, does not want to sleep alone or in complete darkness. In some cases, children can fall asleep on their own without problems, but at night they cry in their sleep, scream, call for help. In the morning, babies often do not remember what they dreamed about.

Children's fears should not be ignored, so as not to aggravate the situation

Sometimes mom and dad are to blame for the development of fears in their offspring. When they are constantly in a state of anxiety, the baby takes over this behavior. The same applies to the excessive guardianship of adults over the child. If there are too many prohibitions, the choice is limited, there is no opportunity for self-realization, then the children close in on themselves and are afraid to do something wrong. Therefore, experts strongly advise parents to monitor their behavior in relation to the crumbs.

Video: different fears of kids and ways to overcome them

The manifestation of fears at the age of one to 11 years

Features of the manifestation of fear vary depending on the age of the child. As you grow older, fears can change: some pass, while others appear. And this state of affairs is considered absolutely normal, because this is how the baby prepares for independence and life in society.

Table: age-related features of the appearance of children's fears

Age	Manifestation of fear
From birth to six months	The baby is not worried about specific things, but sounds and actions, for example, a loud knock, an unexpected movement in his direction. She is afraid to be left without her mother, because she is used to her being constantly around.
7 - 12 months	The child continues to be frightened by a loud sound and other unexpected phenomena. But at this age, fear of strangers and surroundings begins to manifest itself.
1 - 2 years	About a year old, the baby begins to learn to walk independently, so there may be a fear of injury during a fall. Some babies are afraid of other children and do not want to play with them.
2 - 3 years	Children begin to fear losing their parents, being left alone. The cause of stress and neurosis can be the dissatisfaction of the mother or father towards the child, their divorce or frequent scandals.
35 years	For the first time there is a fear of death. The child is afraid not only to die himself, but also to lose his parents in the literal sense, therefore he is afraid of everything that can lead to the death of a person: fire, flood, thunderstorm, accident and other phenomena.
5 - 7 years	The kid understands more and more, but still does not distinguish between fiction and reality. Therefore, the objects of fear are the characters of cartoons and stories. Some kids are afraid to go to school.
7 - 8 years	Most of all, children are prone to school fears: getting a bad grade, disapproval of the teacher and parents, lack of friends. Many primary school students are afraid of the dark and enclosed spaces. There is also a fear of physical violence.
8 - 9 years	There is a fear of physical punishment. Boys and girls are also afraid to be the last in the class and not achieve anything.
9 - 11 years old	Children begin to be afraid of strangers of a certain category: slovenly looking, intoxicated, etc. A sense of leadership also appears, and students are afraid to lose in competitions.

Pedagogical methods for correcting children's fears

Psychologists gradually approach the correction of children's fears: first, a diagnosis is made, and only then a professional develops a strategy and action plan, determines a method by which it will be possible to overcome fear in children. Modern psychology offers a wide variety of methods that are applied simultaneously, separately from each other or sequentially.

It should be noted that the method chosen by the psychologist should please the child. If the baby is naughty, starts to cry, or refuses to complete tasks, you need to find another way. Forcing or scolding a baby is strictly prohibited.

Art therapy in overcoming the problem

Art therapy is very common because children love to draw. Its essence lies in the image of the fear of the child. The psychologist offers the child to reproduce on paper what he is most afraid of, and then, together with the author, analyzes the resulting picture. For example, a monster can be locked up forever by putting it in a cage from which it will not get out. In many cases, an excellent solution is to add funny elements to the picture, then the baby visually understands that there is nothing to be afraid of.

Parents can be near the child, but do not help him draw the object of anxiety. Also, adults should not make a decision about what to do with the picture: if the baby wants to tear it, let him do it, but you should not insist and force the baby to get rid of the image.

Art therapy is considered the most popular method of correcting children's fears.

Play therapy to achieve psychological comfort

This is a great way to help your child write a positive scenario. In a playful way, together with a psychologist, the kid talks about his fears. The specialist asks leading questions, carefully leading the conversation to positive points. For example, the monster is sitting in the closet. One can imagine that the monster himself is afraid of the dark and cries, wants to visit his mother. Now he's not so scary.

Many guys reveal real talents, getting used to the role and overcoming shyness. At the end of therapy, the psychologist may advise enrolling the child in a theater studio.

Fairy tale therapy: the role of fairy tales in individual psychocorrection

Children love fairy tales, because in them good always triumphs over evil. In order to help the baby overcome fear, you need to choose stories that will not only interest the child, but also help you feel the most courageous and strong, able to help friends and parents. You can write your own story and discuss it with your little one.

Today, adults can order a special book of fairy tales, in which the main character will be a son or daughter. On the pages of this publication, a photo of the baby is printed.

Fairy tales with a photo of a child will help the baby overcome his fears

Talking about objects of fear with school-age children

A conversation about the object of fear is suitable for children of primary school age. They already know how to clearly articulate their thoughts and understand that tantrums and panic do not give pleasure and are very exhausting, they simply cannot do anything on their own with their condition. The specialist conducts a dialogue in a cozy atmosphere, does not frighten the child, but provides freedom of choice: he does not force him to tell everything at once. Leading questions, clear explanations and arguments from a psychologist will help a boy or girl understand their fear and deal with it.

A confidential conversation with a psychologist is a good way to overcome fear among schoolchildren

Correction of children's fears using affirmations

Affirmation is a special way by which a certain image is established in the mind of a child. You can achieve this effect with the help of a phrase that the psychologist repeats many times while working with the baby. For example, if a baby often hears that a cat is good, over time he will believe in it and stop being afraid of her.

An affirmation is necessarily a short phrase that consists of one or two sentences without complication. The child should hear only understandable words and phrases.

Sand painting technique

Today, sandblasting is gaining immense popularity. Even children who do not like or still do not know how to draw are happy to plunge into this activity. This type of creativity not only develops fine motor skills, but also helps to relieve tension, the baby relaxes, so the specialist works out the fears of the crumbs more deeply.

While working with sand, the baby calms down and trains memory

Music and dance therapy in the work of psychologists

The essence of the technique lies in the selection of special melodies that have a calming effect, have a relaxing effect on the child's nervous system and tune in to contact with a specialist. This type of therapy is often combined with others: the baby can listen to music and draw at the same time. But not all children like to dance, so the master of his craft carefully studies whether this method is suitable for removing fear.

Meditation as a way to overcome fear

Not all child psychologists use this method. In order to engage in meditation with a child, a specialist must have certain knowledge and skills. The essence of the method is to perform a series of psychological exercises with the baby that allow you to penetrate deeper into yourself, understand the cause of your fears and overcome them at the level of thinking.

Meditation is not suitable for babies, because they will not understand the principle of its operation. It is best to work with students.

If a child shows signs of psychosis, panic and neuroses, meditation may not be suitable as a way to correct fears. The fact is that to complete the exercises you need to fully concentrate, but not all children can do this.

Psychotherapy for dealing with children's fears: expert advice

Classes with a psychotherapist include joint work not only with the child, but also trainings with parents. Depending on the degree of manifestation of fear (initial stage or phobia), the doctor chooses a method of correction and gets to work. Psychotherapy is a system of influencing the baby's psyche in order to save him from feeling fear, anxiety and neurosis.

Psychotherapists note that parents need to change their behavior and listen to a number of tips:

• mom and dad should show their love for the baby, surround him with care and show understanding;
• do not dismiss the child: daily parental attention and spending time together is the key to the harmonious psychological development of the crumbs;
• it is impossible to forbid children to communicate with their peers, they need to adapt socially;
• the baby needs games that should be present in the life of the baby every day;
• you should never frighten children: every phrase of adults is perceived by the child literally.

Video: how to get rid of fear

The benefits of children's fears

The psycho-emotional development of the child provides for the formation of various fears as a manifestation of the instinct of self-preservation. If the baby does not understand what is possible and what is not, he will become helpless in front of the actions of other people or various phenomena. Therefore, the appearance of fear is a normal state, but if the baby is not afraid of anything, then it is worth considering.

As soon as the body recognizes a critical situation, a dose of adrenaline enters the bloodstream. As a result, the brain begins to think faster and brighter, which contributes to decision making. If the child did not experience fear, this state would not have been achieved.

Social adaptation of children is also impossible without fear and manifestation of fear. The child's emotions are directly dependent on the perception of peers: the baby wants to meet other children and make new friends. Many boys and girls are afraid of losing a friend or girlfriend, so they try to analyze situations, make decisions on their own and prepare to live in a world where their mother will not be around all the time.

Literary works, articles and books

To better understand the nature of children's fears, parents can study the literature of psychologists and doctors, which details the causes and ways to solve various situations.

1. Sigmund Freud, The Psychoanalysis of Children's Fears. In his book, the author describes the collaboration of the boy's father with a specialist to achieve the best results, starting with determining the cause of the fear and considering the schemes of action in a particular case.
2. G. Eberlein, "Fears of healthy children." A doctor of medicine from Austria in his work describes various forms and types of fears that, without correction, lead to neuroses, as well as sleep and speech disorders. The author tells parents what methods can be used to combat fear, as well as to prevent its occurrence.
The book of the Russian psychologist Alexander Zakharov tells about the fears that a child may have at night. Sigmund Freud analyzes children's fears, gives their description and offers ways to get rid of
An article by Yulia Kochetova, published in the electronic journal "Psychological Science and Education", reveals the issues of correcting children's fears In her book, Olga Nikolskaya tells how to cure fears in autistic people


The appearance of fears in childhood is a common occurrence. But adults should not miss the moment when a small fear begins to gradually develop into a pathological condition. Psychologists work with children in preschool institutions and schools, they conduct diagnostics several times a year. If there are deviations in the development of the baby, the specialist will definitely inform the parents and give some advice. Moms and dads are required to listen to these recommendations so as not to aggravate the situation and help the baby overcome their problems.

If you have any difficulties or problems - you can contact a certified specialist who will definitely help!

Everyone is afraid of something and it does not depend on age. Fear- this is a completely natural and predictable reaction of the body to an irritant that our subconscious mind sees as a danger. But if we can overcome fears on our own, then it is quite difficult for children to do this. They often do not understand what is happening to them. They just feel extremely uncomfortable. You will not be able to conquer all children's fears, because any child has a lot of them. But your task is to learn how to treat them adequately, work them out and try not to become the cause of fear yourself.

Children's fear is a feeling of anxiety or anxiety in a child under 16 years of age. Each age carries its own fears, which can somehow affect the psyche. If you succeed in defeating children's fears, then this will help to grow a bold personality, self-confident and proactive. If you do not pay attention to fear, then the child will not know what parental protection is in full measure and will be afraid of the future in the future. Especially strong and long-term fears need to be worked out.

Where do children's fears come from?

Anxiety, fear and phobia- these are three stages of not only children's, but also adult fear. Some can quickly appear and disappear, others for a long time (sometimes forever) leave a clear trace in the memory. The event is no longer repeated, but the fear remains.

A newborn child does not yet understand cause and effect, that is, is not able to reason logically. Therefore, he fully perceives the world as his parents. Hence the conclusion: parents can transfer all their fears to the psyche of the child as if through a carbon paper. An anxious look and intonation are the threads through which fear is transmitted to the immature mind. Therefore, the most important thing is the reaction of parents to any stimulus. Remember that the child does not care what happened. He will look at his mother and decide whether to cry or not. If she is frightened, then expect the reaction of the child. In addition, there are enough reasons for fear.

Something frightened. Chance is the main cause of children's fears. It could be a loud scream, a scary movie scene, getting stuck in an elevator, trauma to a child or relative, parental fears, a wasp or dog sting, or a funeral. If the parents of the child are people with a stable psyche, non-conflict, calm, positive and self-confident, then it is likely that the fear will be short-lived. If the newborn had quarrels of parents and other traumatic situations, then he gains self-doubt. This means that fear due to a particular case can be firmly entrenched in memory. Such children begin to beware of dogs, insects and often react to any situation by crying.

Fantasy. Often the culprit of children's fear is an overdeveloped imagination. A certain situation happens, and the baby immediately draws the details in his mind. An example is night shadows. A crumpled blanket forms a shadow on the wall and the child in his imagination thinks that it is a wolf or a monster. If he loves cartoons and already has an idea about aliens, then he may be afraid of the moon that shines through the window. At the same time, his fantasy will begin to invent aliens who are watching him. This also includes the fear of Koshchei, Baba Yaga and even Moidodyr. Therefore, it is important to protect the child from the TV and filter his cartoons.

Disorders in the family. Arguing with your spouse is normal. But remember that you need to do it correctly - constructively and in low tones. If every quarrel turns into a scandal with the use of strong words, slamming doors and breaking dishes, it is not surprising that the child will be shy, anxious and capricious.

Disorders in social life. Quarrels with teachers, peers and other people can cause social phobia. The child begins to be afraid of groups and feel constrained. It is not difficult to overcome such children's fears if they are noticed in time. However, it is likely that you will learn about it only after a few years. Also, a child can acquire fears after visiting a children's camp, where children tell horror stories to each other at night.

Neurosis. Sometimes the cause of fear is a psychological deviation, which is called neurosis. It is developed gradually and only if the fears are drowned out, intensified and not worked out.

Reasons why children's fears intensify

Pre-existing fear can be exacerbated by some unfavorable factors.

1. Relatives are constantly afraid of something.

A little tip: work through your fears, open the world to your child from a positive side, focusing on the good.

1. Relatives remind the child of fear or laugh at him.

A little tip: accept the child's fear as your own and do not blame the child for it - he has the right to be afraid.

1. The fear factor is always there.

A little tip: find out what is the cause of children's fears and eliminate it as soon as possible.

1. Parents are too overbearing towards the child.

A little tip: you should be loved and respected, not feared. Try to build friendships by psychologically getting on the same level with the child.

1. Any emotion is punished - the child is forbidden to stomp his feet, beat the pillow, cry, scream (the result - fear takes root and is suppressed).

A little advice: let the child express emotions as he wants. You can't blame for this. Let him stomp his feet, and then calmly say the reason.

1. With the child little talk heart to heart.

A little tip: no matter how busy you are, set aside an hour a day to talk with your child about the day.

1. The child is alone in the family or has no friends.

A little tip: think about the reasons for his isolation, become a good friend to him and he will find comrades for himself.

1. The parents do not understand the child and believe that he is to blame for his fear.

A little tip: do not think that the baby is not listening to you. Understand it yourself first.

1. Mom is exhausted at home and at work.

A little tip: a child needs a cheerful and kind mother, not a draft horse. Change jobs or delegate some of the responsibilities to others.

1. The child is too much loved and cherished.

A little tip: do not protect the child from the outside world, treat him adequately - without extolling above all and without belittling.

1. The child has no father.

A little tip: if a child grows up without a father, be a friend to him and at the same time a protector when he behaves well. And also a good adviser when he has problems. Your task is to be cheerful, despite the difficulties, and to convey this attitude to the baby. In addition, it has been noticed that among positive and vitally active women, the problem of an incomplete family is solved very quickly.

Many of the child's fears arise from the wrong behavior of parents, their anxiety, overprotection or lack of warmth and love. Whatever happens, you must stand up for your child - protect him from the attacks of a neighbor from another entrance or criticism of the teacher in front of you. Sometimes it's enough to say: "I'll talk to him myself", come home and calmly discuss why he behaved this way. Listen and give advice to the child. This is the best way to become not only a parent, but also a true friend.

Types of children's fears

Psychologists classify children's fears into four types.

fears at night. This includes nightmares. During sleep, the child has involuntary movements - he talks, sometimes screams, crumples a blanket and a sheet. Occasionally, involuntary urination and manifestations of sleepwalking may occur. When a nightmare occurs, the child either wakes up and runs to his parents in bed, or falls asleep and cannot remember anything in the morning.

Unfounded fears. One of the most common types of childhood fears. The child is afraid of the dark, he is afraid to be alone with himself, he is afraid of cartoon characters or fairy tales, and also thinks out what is not there. At the same time, do not try to convince the baby that his fear has no reason - he will still stand his ground.

obsessive fears. These include the fear of open and closed spaces, flying on an airplane, fears of motion sickness in transport, and so on.

Unexplained (delusional) fears. The child begins to be afraid of something that absolutely does not scare anyone: his doll, phone, slippers. Getting rid of children's fears of this type is easy if you understand the reason. For example, he dreamed that his slippers were chasing him or that a doll was talking.

Manifestation of children's fears in life

How do you know if a child is afraid of something? This can be indicated by a wide variety of signs. A newborn child shows his fear in the only way - he bursts into tears. Older children are already more capable of manifesting their childhood fear.

1. He does not let you go and walks literally on your heels.

1. He hides, hiding in a blanket with his head, or covers his face with his hands.

1. He is aggressive or crying.

1. He is naughty.

1. He draws only with black pencils, depicts monsters, skulls (subconsciously tries to work out fear through drawing).

1. If you ask him to draw his fear, he draws it, and then he is afraid of drawing.

1. He has an obsessive habit - he bites his nails, sucks his finger, fiddles with a blouse or button, does not know where to put his hands, marks time, tries to constantly wash his hands. In this case, it is better to contact a psychologist for elaboration.

How to identify fear? It is best to talk with the child about what he is afraid of, ask him to draw it or compose a fairy tale with himself as the main character. If he starts telling a scary story, then it is better to let the fantasy run in another direction - ask the child to complete it positively and come up with a good ending, where the child comes out the winner.

All ages are submissive to fear

It is possible to overcome children's fears, provided that you understand what causes them and how to deal with them. Every age is a time of certain fears. Let's see what our children are afraid of at a certain age.

1-3 years

What are. They learn basic life skills, and most importantly - to be themselves. Knows how to distinguish a boy from a girl, an adult from a child and his own from someone else's. They understand that there is a close circle, and there is society. During this period, the family for the child becomes a reliable fortress (if there are no conflicts). If the family is psychologically healthy, then the baby gradually forgets the stress of being born.

What are they afraid of: the same as mom. You are upset - the child is upset. You cheered up again - the child cheered up. A child from 2 to 3 years old may experience fear at the appearance of a second child. Jealousy also appears if parents pay attention to themselves or others. The child may be afraid of the mother leaving or falling asleep on her own, strangers, loud or sharp sounds. When the baby takes the first steps, he may be afraid to fall. But this is rather a projection of the parents of their fears on the child.

How to protect from fear. Do not swear in front of the child, thinking that he does not understand anything. The baby instantly feels a tense situation and reacts by crying to a change in the behavior of the parents. If a mother is breastfeeding, she should especially be less afraid and nervous, as fears are transmitted with breast milk. In no case do not allow conflicts with household members about breastfeeding. A healthy atmosphere in the family allows the baby to strengthen his self-position and gain self-confidence.

If a brother or sister is born, children's fears can be overcome by including the baby in the care of the younger one. At this age, it is better not to send the child to the nursery. Remember, the longer you stay with your baby, the better. Try to accustom him to independence as soon as possible and do not overprotect him. Remain calm so as not to transmit fears to the child.

Choose your bedtime story carefully - don't read about Baba Yaga. Stop at the kinder tales of Suteev or Teremka. Give your little one maximum protection. To do this, provide him with love before going to bed, pet him, sing a song, calm him down.

3-5 years

What are. The child is full of feelings and emotions. His emotional sphere expands much, which means that many children's fears appear. He tries to get even closer to his parents and other people's children, whom he declares to be his friends. In this case, friendship can last 1 day. The child learns to understand society, to live in it. He understands that he already exists on only "I", but also "We". He becomes more independent, and his imagination also begins to develop intensively. The baby can try on the images of the heroes of fairy tales or professions.

From 3 to 5 years old, you can observe not only activity, but also irritability, resentment, constant mood swings. The baby laughs and immediately begins to cry, if something is not for him. May require you to be with him at all times.

What are they afraid of. That they love him. They love more than the parent of the opposite sex and are afraid of not pleasing him in the first place. Again, the fear of loneliness is acutely felt, so you need to communicate more with the child. Also afraid of punishment, a closed room.

How to protect from fear. Since now the baby is learning to love, it is important for him to set a worthy example. Try to openly show love to your other half, as well as to the child. Kiss, hug, shake - all this is very important now. Try never to speak "you behaved badly, I don't love you"- a child can remember this forever and then a child's fear of losing the love of his parents will appear.

A parent of the opposite sex should be especially attentive to a child at this age. Never lock him in a room as a punishment. Smooth out fairy tales by skipping scary moments. Communication with peers, where the baby shows the whole gamut of emotions, will help to protect from fears as much as possible.

5-7 years

What do they represent. At this age, children begin to divide people into good and bad. The good ones are those who smile and are kind to the child. The bad ones are those who get angry and give injections. Anxiety, suspiciousness, sensitivity may appear.

What are they afraid of. At this age, the child begins to fear that he or his parent will die. If the baby often has nightmares, then there is a fear of falling asleep. Hence the tantrums at night. Also, the baby begins to be afraid of doctors, bites, heights, fire. Fears of the dark, closed spaces, and parental punishment may increase. The child begins to fear the other world. Moreover, this is more pronounced in self-doubt children who were brought up in authoritarian families. Children begin to think about the future and fear it. The example of a strong and courageous father is important for a child-boy, because the first masculine qualities are now being formed.

At this age, fears form a physical impact on the child, punishments, screams. A girl may be afraid of a loud father, and a boy of an authoritarian mother. There is a fear of separation, attacks, war, scandals, being late, waiting, death of pets.

How to protect from fear. To overcome children's fears, try to convince your child that it is safe, to show him that the world is not scary. Do not scold the child if he starts to say bad words. Calmly say that this is unacceptable and try not to pay too much attention to them. Now it is important to traumatize the psyche as little as possible with threats or angry exclamations. If the child is neurotic or hypersensitive in itself, try to keep painful situations to a minimum: give pills instead of injections, read good fairy tales, and so on.

7-11 years old

What are. The child no longer behaves like an egoist. He begins to understand that in society you need to be able to communicate with the surrounding teachers and peers. A sense of duty, obligation, responsibility, discipline begins to develop.

What are they afraid of. The child continues to experience the fear of death. She just worries more about her parents. Begins to fear attacks from strangers, bad grades, fires, robberies. Childish fears become mostly concrete. However, all these fears are not strong, because the school redirects attention from itself to others. But guilt can develop if the child behaves "not this way" or he is not like everyone else.

How to protect from fear. Now you need to take on the confidence of your child to overcome his childhood fears of inadequacy to others. Buy him the clothes that he asks for, try to listen to him more. Do not force him to be friends with those with whom he does not want. Make it clear that he is always loved and expected at home, even if he fails to study and teachers give bad marks. Help him make his own decisions, thank him for his help and praise him for his responsibility, even if it does not appear often.

11-16 years old

What are. This age is the most difficult time. The child establishes his principles, his worldview changes. He starts to think rationally. Sometimes these changes are so lightning-fast that it seems to parents that the situation is getting out of control. The child begins to learn to be himself in interpersonal relationships. Everything depends on his self-esteem.

What are they afraid of. Teenagers are most afraid of misunderstanding. A twofold childish fear appears: on the one hand, the child wants to join the general mass and disguise himself, on the other hand, he tries not to lose his individuality. At this age, it is very difficult to overcome the children's fear of changing their appearance. Girls experience more fear than boys. At 12 years old, children are very emotionally sensitive and you easily hurt them with your words. The peak of anxiety is 15 years. Further, fears decrease. They can be reborn in phobias and obsessive states. The child, among other fears, is afraid of shame and censure.

How to protect from fear. You should increase the self-esteem of a teenager, praise him for good deeds. Girls need to instill the concept of beauty. No matter what, tell your daughter that she is very beautiful. And inspire your son that you trust him with decisions in your life. The more conflicts in a teenager's life, the more fears he has. Try to be more loyal to the aggression and excitability of the child. Now it is important to understand that a teenager is a reflection of yourself. Therefore, first of all, start working on yourself.

Schoolchildren's fears

School fears can be attributed to a separate category of children's fears. For the first time, they may appear in a first grader, when it is still difficult for a child to be separated from their parents. If the parent himself was afraid of school, speaks negatively about it and is afraid of the child's poor grades, he imposes his fear on him. Doing homework instead of children leads to the fact that they cannot be responsible for their actions, they begin to be afraid of making a mistake and rely in everything on the fact that their parents will solve their problem.

The easiest way to cope with fear is children who are accustomed from childhood to remain for some time without their parents. In addition, school difficulties are more easily overcome by kindergarteners. At school, the child tries to adapt to the teacher, classmates. He tries to meet the established requirements.

During your school years, it is important for you as parents not to be obsessed with grades. To overcome childhood fears at school, try to discuss them with your child, be aware of his affairs and do not take on too many responsibilities. Teach your child not only to do homework, but also to devote time to their hobbies and communication with peers.

How not to become the cause of children's fears

It is much easier to deal with various children's fears if you yourself have a firm position. The following tips will help you avoid provoking fears in your child and inspire him with self-confidence.

1. Provide comfort and harmony in the house. Do not yell at the child and household with him. Resolve conflicts peacefully.

1. Stop being restrained in relation to the child and openly show love, while not depriving the crumbs of independence.

1. Organize your child's leisure time. Fill his day with good impressions. Provide the crumbs with coloring books, pencils, plasticine. Let him do more.

1. Accept the child for who he is and do not demand that he behave like a man / hero / smart / good girl.

1. Do not force the baby to communicate with children if he does not like them.

1. Do not laugh at the child if he is afraid. Take your fears seriously and don't downplay them.

1. Keep your emotions under control.

1. Try to restrict less.

How to deal with children's fears?

conversations. Communicate more with the baby, ask questions. If the baby does not want to answer, then try to approach from the other side. Try to have the baby open up to you as often as possible and talk about his fear. Then this fear will decrease.

Drawings. Ask the child to draw what he is afraid of. Next, to get rid of this childhood fear forever, tear the drawing together or burn it. Make sure that the child stops being afraid (this will be expressed by his smile). If the fear has not diminished, paint over and over again, adding colors and small details. You can attach bows or other funny elements to a scary monster. When fear becomes ridiculous, it cannot have a negative impact.

Composition. Ask the baby to come up with a fairy tale about his fear. It is best if you compose it together and then draw it. Fighting children's fear with this method is very entertaining. The ending must be positive. For example, your baby in the form of a superman defeats a negative character.

skits. How to deal with children's fears effectively? You can (as in the previous tip) play with a fictional story. Try playing with role reversal. When the baby plays his own fear, he will no longer be afraid of him.

Bathing for the little ones. To overcome the childish fear of a newborn, try bathing him in herbs. Water perfectly washes away bad mood in young children. Also, breast offering and distraction with a toy will be the best medicine.

Fear of the dark. If the child is afraid of the dark, you should not act on the contrary and force the baby to look fear in the eye. So you will only harm him. Speak fear, leave a nightlight or dim light, put a toy next to you, and kiss before bed.

Fear of bad grades. Tell your child that despite the bad grades, you still love him. To overcome such a childish fear, just parental love is enough.

sand games. Playing with sand is very soothing, so invite your little one to paint with sand. This activity will strengthen the nervous system and allow the baby to get rid of childhood fear.

Music Healing. Classical melodies are known to harmonize and relax. Turn them on at home as often as possible, then gradually the condition of the crumbs will even out. If you don’t like the classics, then you can fight children’s fear with the help of nature sounds or ethnic instruments.

modeling. Plasticine modeling helps to get rid of children's fears. This method is good if your child does not like drawing. Let the baby blind his fear, and then roll it into a ball.

Sports and dancing. You can fight any childhood fears with the help of movement. Give the baby to dancing or martial arts. Diversity and a new team will help dispel all fears.

Noisy games. The more often you let your child run, frolic, scream and knock, the better. This gives vent to negative emotions, and your baby ceases to be very afraid of anything.

Friends. Never limit your child's interactions with peers. How to deal with children's fears, if not in this way? Feeling himself in his environment, it is easier for the baby to overcome all the hardships of life.

Try to pay attention not only to the fight against fears, but also to their prevention. Never intimidate a child with doctors and policemen. Read good stories to him and let's be ourselves. Then it will not be difficult to overcome any children's fear.