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Every family is unhappy in its own way. "All happy families are equally happy, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" L. Tolstoy - yagulenka

The classic was right when he wrote about the characteristics of happy families. “All happy families are equally happy; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
A happy family is a daily work, and above all on yourself. But this does not mean that it is a duty or a duty. Remember the moment when you just met, did you associate caring for your loved one with a duty?
1 husband is the head of the family. If you want to be behind your husband like behind a stone wall, give him such an opportunity!
2 Stop competing, act as one. Man and woman are not competitors, they complement each other! Rejoice in each other's success sincerely.
3 Farewell, talk, do not hold a grudge! Try to never go to bed without talking through the situation. Not everything looks like it really is! People can't read each other's minds. If something is bothering you in a relationship, if the moment has come when you are in dire need of attention, do not expect the man to guess about it, see it in your eyes. Just talk about it!
4 Give you a pleasant tactile experience. Kisses, hugs, touches! These seemingly innocent caresses are very close!
5 Ask for help. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Allow yourself to be weak and let the man feel strong. However, do not forget to come to the rescue yourself!
6 Find time for yourself. A multifaceted and versatile woman is always more attractive to her partner. Help develop your husband's talents, be his muse!
7 If you recently had a baby or you are preparing for his appearance, be prepared for the fact that contact between a man and a child is not always established from the first days. The most critical female mistake in this situation: completely dissolve in the child, pushing her husband into the background.
8 If you are sick, do not be ashamed to be weak.
9Communicate heart to heart and just about everything in the world. Try to get together with your family at the table and just chat!
10 Sex. Sex plays a very important role in family life, especially in the first years of life. Ideally, spouses should match temperaments. But do not forget that you cannot build happiness on sex alone!
11 Relax with the whole family together. In my opinion, the joint experienced positive emotions unite the family very much!
12 Money. Views on their distribution and spending should coincide. Consent in financial matters plays a very important role in the family.
13a material expression of love. Give each other gifts, flowers, etc. with or without reason.
14 Patience. Will be tolerant of the demands and shortcomings of the spouse. None of us are perfect...
15 Emotional support. Support each other not only in good and bad periods in your life!
16 Admire each other! But do it sincerely.
17 Show tenderness and care. Always remember that you are not the only one who needs attention.
18 Do not skimp on verbal signs of attention! (such as "Sunshine", "Kitty", or so directly "My Love ...") Give each other sincere compliments!
19 Create family traditions. It is very unifying.
20 exchange vows of fidelity and love.
21 don't forget that you love each other. Even when angry at each other.
22 Take counsel with one another. Often, out of two solutions, a third (common) one comes out, which will not only triple everyone, but will also be wiser
23 Trust each other. Trust is something that cannot be bought, value it.
24 Do not discuss the actions of your rug in front of strangers, even if it is your mother. Try to make comments in private.
25Respect one another.
26 Put yourself in the shoes of your spouse. Maybe then you will understand the causes and consequences of actions.

PS: I wrote mainly for myself, I do not pretend to be the words of last resort. If someone can help, I'll be very happy! And also I will be glad for additions! I'm not the perfect wife, but I strive for it.

All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
The first phrase (part 1, ch. 1) of the novel "Anna Karenina" (1875) by L. N. Tolstoy (1828-1910).
Quoted: As a suggestion, consider the specific cause of family troubles. Sometimes it serves as a form of comfort in difficult circumstances: “everyone has their own problems”, “to each his own”, “it’s not easy for everyone”, etc.

Encyclopedic Dictionary of winged words and expressions. - M.: "Lokid-Press". Vadim Serov. 2003 .

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Books

Anna Karenina. In 8 parts. Part 1-4 (MP3 audiobook on 2 CDs), L. N. Tolstoy. "Everything is mixed up in the Oblonskys' house". L. N. Tolstoy "Anna Karenina" (1877) - the immortal work of Leo Tolstoy about human passions, one of the greatest love stories in world literature. ... audiobook
Anna Karenina. In 8 parts. Part 5-8 (MP3 audiobook on 2 CDs), L. N. Tolstoy. "Everything is mixed up in the Oblonskys' house". L. N. Tolstoy "Anna Karenina" (1877) - the immortal work of Leo Tolstoy about human passions, one of the greatest love stories in world literature. ...

"All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" - a piercing and extraordinarily wise sentence with which Leo Tolstoy's novel "Anna Karenina" begins. The life story of many people is a story of love, betrayal, fidelity, forgiveness, hatred, deceit, intransigence and unbearable loneliness.
Many great actresses have experienced the depth of the tragic image of Anna, playing her in the film of the same name.

1935 - Greta Garbo.

"If how many heads, so many minds, then how many hearts, so many kinds of love."

“Suppose you are married, you love your wife, but you are carried away by another woman…
“Sorry, but I really don’t understand this, as it were…. all the same, I don’t understand how now, having eaten, I would immediately go past the tavern and steal the kalach.

"The engine of all our actions is still personal happiness."

"Respect was invented to hide the empty space where love should be."

1948 - Vivien Leigh.

"You see, one and the same thing can be looked at tragically and made of torment, and looked at simply and even cheerfully."

"In order to do anything in family life, either a perfect discord between spouses or a loving agreement is necessary. When the relationship of the spouses is uncertain and there is neither one nor the other, no business can be undertaken."

“My love is becoming more and more passionate and selfish, but his is fading and fading away, and that’s why we are parting, and this cannot be helped. I have everything in him alone, and I demand that he give himself more and more to me. wants to get away from me more and more. We just went to meet each other until the connection, and then irresistibly part in different directions. And this cannot be changed. He tells me that I am senselessly jealous, and I told myself that I am senselessly jealous; but this is not true I'm not jealous, but I'm unhappy ... "

"How much of what seemed beautiful and inaccessible to me then has become insignificant, and what was then is now forever inaccessible."

1967 - Tatyana Samoilova

"He knew very well that in the eyes of these faces ......... the role of a man who molested a married woman and at all costs laid down his life to involve her in adultery, that this role has something beautiful, majestic and can never be funny..."

"Our Russian indifference is not to feel the obligations that our rights impose on us, and therefore deny these obligations."

"If good has a cause, it is no longer good; if it has a consequence - a reward, it is also not good. Therefore, good is outside the chain of causes and effects."

"Our whole world is a tiny mold that has grown on a tiny planet."

“If he, not loving me, out of duty is kind, gentle to me, but it won’t be what I want, yes, this is even a thousand times worse than malice! This is hell!”

2000 - Sophie Marceau

"Pretense in anything can deceive the most intelligent, insightful person: but the most limited child, no matter how skillfully hidden, recognizes him and is disgusted."

"Most of the young women who envied Anna, who had long been bored with being called fair, rejoiced at what they assumed, and waited only for confirmation of the turn of public opinion in order to fall upon her with all the weight of their contempt. They were already preparing those clods of dirt, which they will throw at her when the time comes."

“She was not at all what he saw her at first. And morally and physically she changed for the worse ....... He looked at her, as a person looks at a flower he has plucked and withered, in which he hardly recognizes beauty, for which he plucked and ruined him."

“The memory of the evil done to her husband aroused in her a feeling similar to disgust and similar to what a drowning person would experience if he tore a person clinging to him from himself. This man drowned. Of course, it was bad, but it was the only salvation, and it is better not to recall these terrible details.

Revenge is mine, and Az will repay

Part one

I

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Everything was mixed up in the Oblonskys' house. The wife found out that her husband was in connection with a French governess who was in their house, and announced to her husband that she could not live with him in the same house. This situation continued for the third day and was painfully felt by the spouses themselves, and by all members of the family, and household members. All members of the family and members of the household felt that there was no point in their cohabitation and that at every inn people who happened to meet were more connected with each other than they, the members of the Oblonsky family and members of the household. The wife did not leave her rooms, the husband was not at home for the third day. The children ran all over the house like they were lost; the Englishwoman quarreled with the housekeeper and wrote a note to a friend, asking her to find a new place for her; the cook left the yard yesterday, during dinner itself; the black cook and the coachman asked for a calculation. On the third day after the quarrel, Prince Stepan Arkadyevitch Oblonsky - Stiva, as he was called in the world - at the usual hour, that is, at eight o'clock in the morning, woke up not in his wife's bedroom, but in his study, on a morocco sofa. He turned his full, well-groomed body on the sofa springs, as if wishing to fall asleep again for a long time, on the other hand tightly hugged the pillow and pressed his cheek against it; but suddenly he jumped up, sat down on the sofa and opened his eyes. “Yes, yes, how was it? he thought, remembering the dream. — Yes, how was it? Yes! Alabin gave dinner in Darmstadt; no, not in Darmstadt, but something American. Yes, but there Darmstadt was in America. Yes, Alabin gave dinner on glass tables, yes, and the tables sang: Il mio tesoro and not Il mio tesoro, but something better, and some small decanters, and they are women, ”he recalled. Stepan Arkadyevitch's eyes gleamed merrily, and he fell into thought, smiling. “Yes, it was good, very good. There was a lot of something else there that was excellent, but you can’t say it in words and thoughts, you can’t even express it in reality. ” And, noticing a streak of light that broke through the side of one of the cloth curtains, he cheerfully threw his legs off the sofa, found with them the shoes embroidered by his wife (a birthday present last year), dressed in golden morocco, and, according to an old, nine-year-old habit, without getting up, reached out his hand to the place where he had a bathrobe hanging in the bedroom. And then he suddenly remembered how and why he was sleeping not in his wife's bedroom, but in the study; the smile vanished from his face, he wrinkled his brow. "Ah, ah, ah! Ahh! .. ”he mumbled, remembering everything that happened. And again all the details of the quarrel with his wife presented themselves to his imagination, all the hopelessness of his situation and, most painful of all, his own guilt. "Yes! She will not forgive and cannot forgive. And the worst thing of all is that I am to blame for everything, I am to blame, and not to blame. That's the drama, he thought. “Ah, ah, ah!” he would say in despair, recalling the most difficult impressions for himself from this quarrel. Most unpleasant of all was that first minute when, returning from the theatre, cheerful and contented, with a huge pear for his wife in his hand, he did not find his wife in the drawing room; to his surprise, he did not find her in the study, and finally saw her in the bedroom with the unfortunate note that opened everything in her hand. She, that ever preoccupied, and troublesome, and narrow-minded, as he considered her, Dolly, sat motionless with a note in her hand and looked at him with an expression of horror, despair and anger. - What is it? this is? she asked, pointing to the note. And at this recollection, as often happens, Stepan Arkadyevitch was tormented not so much by the event itself as by the way he answered these words of his wife. What happened to him at that moment is what happens to people when they are suddenly caught in something too shameful. He failed to prepare his face for the position he was in before his wife after the discovery of his guilt. Instead of being offended, denying, making excuses, asking for forgiveness, even remaining indifferent - everything would be better than what he did! His face quite involuntarily ("reflexes of the brain," thought Stepan Arkadyevitch, who loved physiology), quite involuntarily suddenly smiled his habitual, kind, and therefore stupid smile. He couldn't forgive himself for that stupid smile. Seeing this smile, Dolly shuddered, as if from physical pain, burst out, with her characteristic vehemence, a stream of cruel words, and ran out of the room. Since then, she did not want to see her husband. "That stupid smile is to blame for everything," thought Stepan Arkadyevitch. “But what to do? what to do? he said to himself in despair, and found no answer.

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