Loneliness of men: necessity or free choice. What is male loneliness

Excerpt from the book “Loneliness of Men”, AST, Yulia Rubleva, 2013.

Sometimes I dread what it would be like to be a man.

By and large, no one thinks about him, about the man. What is life like for him? They think more about seals and fur seals.

Everyone (let’s not point fingers) thinks only about whether he loves or doesn’t love. Does, doesn't. He will come, he will not come. Will change, won't change. A woman dependent on a man is like a prisoner whose arms have been twisted and tied at the elbows to someone else. To her man. As soon as he moves, she hisses, “It hurts.” When he freezes, she jerks - why are you frozen? You are alive? How do you feel about me?
I'm exaggerating this, as always.

But by and large, look in the mirror. A woman who either no longer expects anything from him, or whom he calls mom, can truly think about a man.

More and more men I know are complaining about loneliness. They look lonely. They choose loneliness. Sometimes they just need us to pet them and not ask questions. To my shame, I can pet, but in most cases I cannot resist asking questions. Because I'm worried about myself. Does he relate to me? Most of the women I know, in one way or another, without needing to be seen, draw attitudes out of men. At least some.

Meanwhile, the man gets tired and closes his eyes. He no longer wants to see either his business, or his woman, or his global responsibility for everything.

If something doesn't work out for him, he's an asshole. He lives with the feeling of “I’m an asshole,” and he doesn’t have the magic word “but.” Everything is simpler for us. Not everything is going well at work, but my husband is good. I have no husband, no job, but I have legs. And breasts. Well, yes, I’m fat, but Katka is even fatter.

For some reason this “but” doesn’t work for men. Their rules are honest, strict and simple. Do you have big balls, but no career? Well, you're an asshole. Do you have a Bentley, but don't have the woman you love? Well, you're an asshole. Do you have a beloved woman, but no Bentley? Well, you're an asshole.

They are always built into competition - one, and into hierarchy - two. They are always trying to figure out which one is the puppy and who is the boss on the playground. And, sometimes, when they come home, they just want to lie face down and close their eyes. Alone. Because if not alone, then again you’re an asshole. Weak and tuff.

I could never be a man. I am a weakling and a softie, and often cry under the covers. And no one will say a word to me. I won't say a word to myself. But real heroes have a strict taboo on feeling sorry for themselves.

I was young, and my husband was building a business. In the 90s. He came home and lay down, closing his eyes. And I wanted him to talk to me. And he spoke. Barely alive from fatigue.

Then, already in my unmarried life, I wanted something more from the men I loved. To love. To get married. To roses. Do not hurt me. Do not move. Or not: move and do good to me. How do they feel?

The further into the forest, the less I understand about this. And when I have enough imagination to imagine that sometimes they just need to be accepted and understood, and kept silent, and brought tea, and all this - not today and not tomorrow, but for a long, long time, until everything gets better - then it seems to me, that I understand everything. Then gender disappears, and there are simply two adults who can do something good for each other. Supportive. Friendly. Loving.

This is the first time in my life that I'm seriously thinking about this. It seems to me that they are becoming more and more lonely and abandoned amid all these courses for bitches and female independence. And they can’t tell anyone about this, about their growing loneliness. And from this pitiful place, from this anxiety, I can no longer want anything from a man. Although from the point of view of successful women I come across as a complete asshole. After all, I don’t have a fur coat, a husband, or even a regular “good night” text message. So don’t take my example, don’t.

Fickle Don Juans, old bachelors, devoted sons... How do women explain to themselves why a man is lonely?

“I have no prejudice against bachelors,” says 46-year-old Sofia. “I draw for myself the image of an original, independent, like myself!” Divorced 38-year-old Polina, mother of three daughters, is afraid of men who “stewed in their own juice for 40 years.” She believes that they are “selfish, womanizing and obsessed with their independence. How can they fit a woman with children into their lives and remain faithful to her?” Women's judgments are firm and sometimes harsh. They reflect their expectations and often disappointments. Successful and independent, loners and seekers of love adventures - their stereotypes are similar, despite differences in the experience of their personal lives.

"Seducer"

This is how many women see unmarried people. Unreliable, sexually incontinent, narcissistic, this man loses interest in a lady as soon as he receives signs of reciprocal sympathy. Generations of deceived women stigmatized the men who abandoned them and passed on to their daughters their resentment and hostility towards such a male image. However, the responsibility for breaking up does not always lie with the man.

“Sometimes women unwittingly provoke a breakup themselves,” notes family psychologist Inna Shifanova, “because they are confident that they cannot be loved constantly and the relationship will (sooner or later) fall apart. Those who were unloved in childhood or betrayed in their first love union retain the fear of being rejected. They avoid communication or create obstacles to it themselves: jealousy, insatiable demand for attention, tightness, comparison of a partner with other men prevent them from opening up to another and being fully involved in the relationship. Their feelings are contradictory: they want a relationship, but they are afraid of suffering again.”

"Old Bachelor with Oddities"

An eccentric who has always lived alone, unable to give up any of his habits and is afraid of any change - another image of a bachelor. The stereotype is not entirely harmless: it helps a woman forget that love is concessions and compromises on both sides, and at the same time hide from herself her own bachelor habits. For example, on Sundays, stay in your pajamas until two o'clock in the afternoon or watch five episodes of Desperate Housewives in a row.

Inna Shifanova says: “When I ask single clients what is most important to them in a possible relationship, they often answer: “I want him to be kind, give me flowers (buy an apartment, a car), and become a good father.” Women talk only about him, the psychologist notes, about their expectations, sometimes contradictory. But love is a path that has to be taken towards each other.”

"Sissy"

A familiar image - a man secretly in love with his own mother, dependent on her. He seeks the protection of a woman, but is afraid of falling under her control. He has attractive features: raised by a woman, he speaks about feelings more easily than his “manly” brothers; Having gotten used to obeying, she willingly fulfills her friend’s wishes.

“But few women want to compete with his mother,” explains the psychologist. “If a friend manages to take the place of a “caring mother,” the unconscious prohibition against incest will kill her sexual attractiveness in the eyes of her partner.” In addition, an independent adult woman is unlikely to want to appear in public with a “mama’s boy” whose insecurities and sensuality can jeopardize her self-esteem. Perhaps she will even prefer a hidden homosexual to him: at least you can have a pleasant time with him, although you should not count on a long-term relationship.

"Abandoned Husband with a Broken Heart"

There are many prejudices against such a man. They believe that he is using his new girlfriend as a nurse: she will understand and console, raise his fallen self-esteem. And if he has children, the woman will have to take care of them and conduct diplomatic negotiations with her ex-wife.

“Comparison with your ex-wife is painful, but inevitable,” notes a family psychologist. “Even if a man remains silent, a woman will still think whether she treats children this way, whether she manages the household worse than her predecessor.” Many women, when looking for a partner, prefer widowers who yearn for life as a couple. They often idealize their lost friend, but still strive to enter into a new, strong relationship, seeing in them protection from old age. “Widowers go straight to their goal,” says 40-year-old Valeria. “They are more mature and feel less sorry for themselves.”

Objective view

Whether stereotypes about single men are justified or not, they remain as enduring as the good old fairy tale about a handsome prince. A man must be in love, attentive, courageous, with a sense of humor, independent and reliable... Everything happens as if women had previously determined the ideal that men must meet in all respects. However, stereotypes can also say a lot about the character of those who, with their help, are trying to attach another label.

“Each of us has our own system of ideas, fears, expectations that come from experience, parental scenarios and social attitudes,” reflects Inna Shifanova. “Wanting to be objective, we actually sift reality through the sieve of our stereotypes: the more there are, the smaller the gaps.” It is difficult to get rid of the “grid” because we simply do not notice it. Moreover, to some extent, it really protects us from mistakes. But, alas, also from discoveries! And often the price of such “wisdom” is loneliness.

We are all, men and women, unique. That's why it's sometimes so difficult for us to find a mate - and that's why when we find one, it brings us so much joy.

Why do they stay lonely?

There are so many women around them who dream of finding a life partner, but these men refuse to enter into long-term relationships. What are the underlying reasons that prompt them to hold tightly to their loneliness?

“I’m tired of everyone feeling entitled to ask me why I’m not getting married,” says 48-year-old Mikhail. - To get rid of them, I bought a wedding ring and put it on my left hand, as if I were divorced or widowed. If they still ask me a question about what this means, I don’t lie - I just take a deep breath and say: “Better not ask!” Usually this is enough."

It is impossible to name with certainty one or even several reasons why a man prefers loneliness, our experts say. The answer may lie in family history and sexual problems. “Even a survey won’t help here,” says family psychologist Inna Shifanova. - Because among the reasons for loneliness may be, for example, hidden homosexuality. Many men won’t admit it even to themselves and may prefer complete abstinence.”

Isn’t this the key to some platonic novels, in which dates and frank conversations do not lead to physical intimacy and often leave women bewildered? “This is not excluded, but the reason may be different,” notes sexologist Irina Panyukova. - Many men are afraid of being sexually incompetent, especially after a long break in sexual activity, and therefore avoid any physical contact. Women often do not realize how vulnerable men are in this area. And subsequently, fear can overpower or completely suppress desire.”

A patient and generous woman can help a man overcome many fears. However, experts remind that there are also problems that cannot be solved without the help of a psychologist - and this can only be done if the man himself wants these changes.

Single women in our time do not surprise anyone: there are much more of them than the stronger sex. It would seem that in conditions of a “scarcity” of men, the latter should be worth their weight in gold. Why then do some men still remain free? And is it worth spending time and effort on them? Let's look at the reasons for male loneliness!

Reason one. A lack of money.

Although it is common to say that happiness cannot be found in money, you still cannot live without it. When building a relationship with a man, a woman expects that she will be able to rely on him in a material sense too. Of course, there are gigolos who are just trying to rely on women, but not every penniless male has a chance of becoming a gigolo: wealthy ladies, as a rule, choose young and beautiful men.

Is the game worth the candle?

Take a closer look at the low-income man. If he simply doesn’t want to work, preferring to sit on someone’s neck, then this is hardly a suitable option, unless you need a man solely for sex. If a man simply doesn’t earn enough, then it is possible that if you create an incentive for him, he will begin to earn enough to live together. It happens that a man is simply passive, start looking for vacancies for him yourself, offer a couple of options... If he flatly refuses to change anything in his life, look for someone else!

Reason two. Bad habits.

A man who abuses alcohol or drugs is, as they say, an option for an amateur. Few women would agree to live or date such a type. In addition, alcoholics and drug addicts experience a decline in sexual potency over time.

Is the game worth the candle?

First, try to find out how far the matter has gone. Perhaps a man’s life has simply gone through a temporary difficult period caused by stress. If mutual acquaintances confirm that quite recently this individual was a normal person, then you can try to “save” him - take him out of the binge, admit him to a clinic, arrange a course of sex therapy, and, in the end, simply distract him from difficult thoughts...

Reason three. Bad character.

Unfortunately, personality traits are one of the most common reasons for male loneliness. A man's character can be so unbearable that no woman can get along with him. Let's say he is too reserved and wary, finds fault with every little thing or does not consider it shameful to beat women...

Is the game worth the candle?

Sometimes a bad character hides a vulnerable nature. If you can find the key to it, the man will reveal to you all the treasures of his soul.

Try to show a sense of humor when communicating with him. Very often it literally disarms people. React with irony to his every attack, and perhaps you will soon be able to tame him. And if not, well, apparently it’s not fate!

Reason four. The man himself avoids women.

He may have a normal character, there may be no material or housing problems, but at the same time he is lonely... Most often this is due to the fact that a man deliberately does not want to build relationships with women. Either he has already been burned once and is afraid to experience the pain again... Or he is afraid of losing psychological comfort. After all, relationships imply, to some extent, self-sacrifice, a waste of mental strength and material resources. But he doesn't want to spend it. There are also men who place very high demands on a possible life partner. And they reject the fair sex because they do not meet these requirements.

Finally, a man may have sexual problems.

Is the game worth the candle?

Try to communicate with this man. If he avoids women, it will become clear pretty quickly. The only way to win such a man is to try to gain his trust. Find out what he is interested in, what his favorite books, films, etc. are. It’s better not to immediately go on board, but first try to become just a friend to a convinced bachelor. Perhaps rapprochement will happen by itself. And sexual problems in most cases are completely solvable.

Reason five. The man behaves inappropriately.

He may dream of a relationship, but his behavior is such that he pushes the opposite sex away from himself. Let's say he constantly talks nonsense, says vulgar compliments to all the women he meets, or is pathologically greedy - so much so that he agrees to drink a cup of coffee only at your expense. There are men who are unreasonably aggressive. When getting closer, he may also develop sexual perversions.

Is the game worth the candle?

Sometimes the matter can be fixed, and if there is a woman who can straighten his brains out, then you can turn him into a completely decent man. But if there are mental pathologies, it is definitely better not to deal with such a man.

Rely on your intuition - and you yourself will be able to understand whether you should spend time establishing contact with a single man.

A person in this world is always alone. Even those people who have a family and children can be lonely. The fact is that the internal state is less dependent on the environment. And male loneliness is a conscious or unconscious choice of a person. A self-sufficient person with strong life beliefs will never feel lonely. What is the cause of mental decline and how to get rid of the oppressive feeling, read below.

Male loneliness

Someone might think that loneliness is a temporary physical absence of like-minded people nearby. But actually it is not. The male opinion about loneliness is this: a man who knows what he wants, has unshakable life values ​​and knows the value of his words will not feel lonely. Only a person who is torn apart by mental anguish and who does not know how to properly manage his own life will be tormented by the search for the meaning of his existence. A person needs support and support nearby. But the personality must be complete in itself. There is no need to look for the meaning of life in someone. A person who does not find much pleasure in spending time in his company must understand that others with such a person will be bored. Therefore, you should not get rid of loneliness by filling it with another person. First you need to solve all your internal problems and only then look for a person with a similar system of interests and values.

pros

Many men don't mind staying single until a certain point. Until the age of 30, young people prefer to remain single and build a career. What are the advantages of male loneliness?

• The freedom of action. Men love to be the masters of their lives. They like freedom, which opens up many opportunities. You don’t have to think about anyone’s desires other than your own.
• Lack of responsibility. Another advantage of male loneliness is the opportunity not to think about anyone other than yourself. Responsibility for a family is simply unthinkable for many representatives of the stronger sex at 20 years old. You need to gain experience in order to be able to manage your affairs and make the right decisions.
• Opportunity to build a career. Male loneliness is good when it brings benefits. The ability to devote full time to building a career is very important. A person who arranges his affairs before starting a family will be able to achieve more than an individual who arranges his affairs while burdened with a wife and children.

Minuses

Men can only enjoy life when they are self-sufficient. But to find yourself, you need to go through a thorny path. But not everyone can go through life alone. What are the disadvantages of being alone?

How to overcome male loneliness? The psychological advice that experts give boils down to one simple idea: in order to eliminate the effect, you need to find the cause. A person who cannot get rid of an oppressive feeling must understand why it arises in his soul. It's stupid to think that the right girl will solve all your problems. The root of loneliness lies deep within. A man who does what he loves, has good friends, can carry on any conversation, will be successful with women. And reserved men who are afraid to open their mouths in the company of beautiful ladies will evoke pity, but not admiration. A lot of poems have been written about male loneliness. They reflect the essence of the problems of the strong half of humanity. Men are too often afraid to show the world their true emotions.

If you suffer from loneliness, think about whether everything in your life is as good as you think. Do a simple test. Draw a circle and divide it into 6 parts. Label each part in accordance with the main areas of life: health, career, friends, love, family, leisure. Place a dot in each area as close to the outer circle as you develop this or that area of ​​life. Ideally, you should end up with an even circle. If you get a spider, then you can easily understand what area of ​​life you need to develop in order to get rid of internal inferiority.

All problems from childhood

You can see photos of male loneliness in expensive glossy magazines. Even successful and beautiful people do not feel self-sufficient. Why? All a person's problems lie in his childhood. Think about what relationships were like in your family when you were little. How you were raised, how your dad treated your mom. If the father beat his mother, scolded her all the time and said that all women are fools, then the boy involuntarily believed this statement. Growing up, the man began to look for confirmation of his father’s words. And whoever seeks will always find. It is not surprising that a young and handsome guy will remain lonely if he constantly tries to find faults in any of the girls he likes.

The situation becomes even more complicated if the boy did not have a father as a child. The role of the main man in life could be taken by one of the relatives. Unwittingly making an idol of a person who was a teacher, the boy could pick up his life beliefs. And it is difficult to get rid of the feeling of inferiority for a child who grew up in an incomplete family. Since childhood, the boy understood that not all families live peacefully and that divorce is quite natural. In such a situation, you need to independently or with the help of a psychologist get rid of the statements inherent in childhood, rewriting them with new ones.

Low self-esteem

What is the cause of male loneliness? Psychologists say that those members of the stronger sex who suffer from low self-esteem are more likely to experience loneliness. Men consider themselves unworthy of love. A girl cannot love a man who considers himself unworthy of her. Moreover, a guy can subconsciously instill in his chosen one the confidence that she is amazing and can find someone better.

To change the situation, the guy must reconsider his attitude towards himself. Moreover, the changes should not be external, but internal. But if a man is not satisfied with his appearance, first of all he needs to deal with it. Everyone knows what they are meeting by their clothes. A fat man needs to lose weight, a guy who dresses in rags needs to flip through glossy magazines and learn about current trends. Having changed your clothes and pumped up your body, you can move on to working on your internal qualities. You should write down your strengths and weaknesses on a piece of paper, and then get rid of the shortcomings.

Hobby

What is one of the reasons for male loneliness? There is a lot of free time. A person who constantly engages in self-flagellation has a clear excess of time that can be spent on self-development. The guy must come up with an activity that will captivate him. This could be sports training, design, programming or education. A person who is busy will not stress himself out and think about his own inadequacy. A passionate person will be interesting not only to himself, but also to others. If a guy doesn’t have a date, then he can easily find a girl by going to a club of similar interests. For example, a man who enjoys reading can join a literary club. By occasionally attending events where different people gather to discuss books, a guy can find a lady who shares his interests.

Life goals

Any person should know where he is going. If a guy has no plans, his future will seem very murky to him. And this fact will depress a person. Male loneliness after 30 years occurs among insolvent men who have no idea why they came into this world. A person who learns something new every day and strives to realize his plans will be passionate about life. Loneliness will not accompany such a person. A person who communicates with several dozen people every day can easily find a soul mate.

If you still don’t have a purpose in life, then it’s time to find one. Sit down and write down everything you've ever wanted to do. Remember all your dreams - both big and small. You'll take them apart later. If you already know exactly what you want to become, then don’t put off implementing your plan for too long. Enroll in relevant courses that will give you the necessary skills to achieve your goal. And small dreams can become vacation plans. Don't be afraid to take risks and do crazy things. They will help you gain the necessary experience and become an interesting person.

Significant other

A person attracts the people he deserves. And this is not some kind of prophecy, but a real fact. A person always chooses his environment from a type that he considers attractive. Male loneliness is an indicator of bad choices. But if a person does not change, then over and over again he will step on the same rake. You've probably noticed that most men choose girls of the same type. And this applies not only to appearance. For example, some are attracted to a bitchy character, while others are attracted to reverence and obedience. Some people like bright girls, while others prefer modest ones. It is worth remembering that if you make the same choice all the time, there is no point in expecting different results. If a man got burned by a girl who preferred an open relationship, then there is no point in taking the same rake. It is better to look for a lady who will want to start a family, and not a person who is eager to go out and get a lot of new experiences. Always be conscious when choosing a girl. A lady should be attractive not only on the outside, but also on the inside. You need to pay attention to the interests and values ​​of the lady. If they match yours, consider that you have made the right choice. But in relationships, not everything is so simple. It's not enough to just find the right person. You need to be able to maintain love and make concessions.

Friends

Male loneliness is not only the absence of a soulmate. A person will not feel lonely if there are true friends next to him. Any man should have at least two friends with whom he can have a heart-to-heart talk, discuss his problems and ask for advice. There can be many friends in life, but the best friends should be chosen especially carefully. These should be time-tested people who you can rely on and whom you can trust with your secrets. They say that male friendship is more reliable than female friendship. You will have to check this on your own experience. And in order not to be convinced of the incorrectness of the saying, think about who you allow into your social circle.

Is it possible to live without friends? It's possible, but difficult. If a person does not have close friends, he will feel loneliness more clearly than if he does not have a significant other. A girl cannot always share a man’s interests, and not all thoughts can be told to her. Therefore, take care in a timely manner to find like-minded people, because every year it will be more and more difficult to find friends.

Family

The person you love always catches your eye. If a man has a loving family, then he will never suffer from loneliness. And this applies not only to the wife and children, but also to parents and relatives. A man must maintain normal relationships with his mother, father, brothers and sisters. It is these people who will love a person not for some achievements, but for the very fact of his existence. Male loneliness is the absence of like-minded people and loved ones nearby. But you don’t always have to look for love on the side. It can be found in the family. Whatever the parents are, they are the one and only. They always want their children to be happy and are ready to sacrifice their interests for their benefit. Sisters and brothers are best friends who sometimes know you even better than you know yourself. Close people will help you in a difficult situation, always give good advice and will not interfere too intrusively in your life. The care and attention your family shows to your candidacy should be appreciated. If a man sacrifices normal relationships with relatives for the sake of a girl, this will come back to haunt him many times. You can change the lady of your heart, but you can’t find a replacement for your parents. Always remember this.

“Everyone has their own loneliness,

On it lies the stamp of an invisible secret,

Who is intoxicated with loneliness, how blessed he is,

And who is melancholy and sad..."

And loneliness, it’s strange to hear. " Atypical situation- many people think so, loneliness and a woman - yes, a typical couple!” Meanwhile, there are no less lonely men than lonely women.

Loneliness is a state of mind. How lonely is a single man?

Loneliness is a human problem

“Loneliness is a socio-psychological phenomenon, an emotional state of a person associated with the lack of close, positive emotional connections with people and/or with the fear of losing them.”

One of the main problems of humanity is loneliness. A multimillion-dollar city, work colleagues, friends, but a person feels lonely. Why? Loneliness is not the presence of someone nearby, it is a state of mind. Who suffers more from loneliness: women or men? There is no definite answer! Even psychologists find it difficult to answer this question; everyone has their own loneliness, but the consequences are the same for everyone. Despair, a feeling of hopelessness, despondency, torment of the soul.

Established by nature

And the Lord said: “It is not good for man to be alone.” Being

Man, man at the dawn of civilization was lonely, and this is inherent in nature. He had to get food alone, survive alone.

Time passed, life changed, traditions changed. Boys from childhood were raised to be courageous, warriors, protectors, breadwinners, heads of the family! For this we must pay tribute to the social institutions of the past. Having such roots, men relate to loneliness more easily than women.

Reasons for male loneliness

Men very rarely talk about loneliness, somehow they prefer to talk about women, about their exploits, aspirations, and only occasionally, after drinking too much about the pain of loneliness, are they even able to cry. And in the morning, having sobered up, out of shame he is ready to sink into the ground for his weakness. There is a bitter aftertaste in my soul and even more sad.

So what are the reasons for male loneliness? First, let's divide loneliness into social loneliness and psychological or emotional loneliness.

Social loneliness

Man is a social being and is subject to the general society. Despite the Internet, social networks and advanced technologies, the modern generation believes that they are susceptible to loneliness and, above all, social loneliness.

It is generally accepted that a person must have a family: children, a joint family budget and the ensuing circumstances. If a man does not have such a “set”, he is considered lonely. Although the man himself may not consider himself such. As a rule, such men call themselves free. Even if they are in a civil marriage, most of them consider themselves single and free.

Psychological loneliness

Psychological loneliness of a man, and indeed of a person in general depends on its internal warehouse.

A man may be lonely due to his character or deformation of personality development.

Writers, artists, scientists, inventors prefer to live alone. They have ideas, formulas, etc. in their heads, and a woman for them is superfluous, as they say: “The third is odd!”

“An introvert is a person whose mental makeup is characterized by concentration on his inner world, isolation, contemplation, one who is not inclined to communicate and has difficulty establishing contacts with the outside world.” Wikipedia

Unfortunately, lately there are more and more infantile mother's boys. And there are also romantic young men who received a treacherous blow from their beloved girl and lost faith. There are also sexist people.

"Genophobia - fear of women"

But, there are also men who do not belong to any of these categories, but consider themselves lonely. Among these there are many married men. Why does this happen? There are quite a lot of reasons. This:

• Mutual disappointment
• Shifting roles. Women are becoming more and more independent, and men are the opposite.
• Formation of new values
• Loss of life meanings

It's scary to think where society is heading! But is everything really that bad? Is it really impossible to fix anything and break the vicious circle of loneliness? Of course you can!

How to fix the situation

What to do to avoid lonely men? A large share of responsibility lies on the shoulders of parents. Raise real men, not wimps and selfish people.

A boy should know from childhood that he is a future man, let's remember. A young man must not only grow, but also develop spiritually. Parents should not brush aside their son’s experiences; they should talk to the child and help him deal with adult life. Mom and dad must teach their son to understand girls. The most faithful friend and assistant of parents is trust.

As an adult, it is trust that will help overcome loneliness together, that is, the loneliness of a married man.

Although, to be honest, many representatives of the stronger sex often refer to alienation with their spouse, covering up their infidelity. As the saying goes, “there is no smoke without fire.”

But it won’t save you from loneliness! A man, unfortunately, is not satisfied with one role in his wife: an excellent cook or a wonderful lover. He needs everything at once! Again, the weaker sex must be stronger than the stronger. A wife should be good in bed, be able to cook all sorts of goodies, and keep the apartment clean, so that her beloved husband does not feel lonely. C'est la vie, as the French say!

• Maybe he is incapable of love or an inveterate bachelor?
• Why is he still single?
• Maybe he's selfish?
• Or maybe he is mentally ill?
• And many more reasons...

Girls should get to know their future life partner well before going to the registry office. And before you go to bed, it wouldn’t hurt to know who you’re with.

There is no point in idealizing your future spouse; the consequences will be very serious.

What to do with a single man? First of all, help him grow up, and for this you need to be an adult yourself. Yes, men, at least the majority, are big children!

Look also