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Why did the girl cheat on her boyfriend: options for further restoration of the relationship. The jealous man split the girl's head, fearing that she had cheated on him in revenge

When it comes to cheating, it is most often assumed that it is the man who is unfaithful. But girls also quite often admit to cheating on their man, and the reasons for such behavior can be very different. Most representatives of the fair sex repent of their actions, and some cannot even explain why they did this. Especially if the betrayal was with her man’s friend, which is considered a double betrayal.

To figure out what to do if a girl cheated on her boyfriend, whether true love can forgive such an act, it’s worth finding out why this happens. And although not all reasons can justify such behavior, the development of the situation depends on the girl’s intentions and her readiness to restore the relationship.

Although there are women who do not admit to their infidelity and continue to behave as if nothing happened.

Reasons for female infidelity

Girls, unlike men, rarely cheat on their chosen ones from “ sporting interest“, although there are polygamous women for whom one man is not enough.

Often, the reasons for female infidelity lie in the area of emotional or psychological dissatisfaction, which pushes them to seek solace in the arms of another man. Therefore, understanding why a girl acted this way towards her life partner is more difficult than understanding the reasons for male infidelity.

But psychologists identify several main reasons why girls cheat:

Feeling of own uselessness and indifference on the part of the guy. It often happens that at the beginning of a relationship he is ready to “move mountains” for the sake of his beloved, and after some time he even forgets to congratulate her on the holiday. The girl does not dare to break up with him for fear of being left alone, but she feels unnecessary and unloved. It is for this reason that most people cheat with a friend of a guy who shows signs of attention or looks more advantageous compared to him.
Revenge is a fairly common reason for cheating. If a girl finds out about a guy’s betrayal, she may do the same out of resentment and anger. As a rule, he later regrets it, but what he has done cannot be undone.
Falling in love often pushes girls who are already in a relationship to cheat on their chosen ones. Especially married women. They cannot get a divorce for various reasons, but they want to spend time with a truly loved one.
Accident. As a rule, such betrayal occurs under the influence of alcohol after parties or discos. Quite often, a girl doesn’t even remember how it all happened, but only realizes in the morning what she did.

Whatever the reasons that led to the girl cheating, this is always a crack in the relationship. Even if a girl does not admit to a guy how and why she did what she did, this situation will always sit in her head, making her doubt and worry. To get over this and build relationships further, you will have to make a lot of effort.

What to do if a girl cheated on her boyfriend

In addition to considering the main reasons for female infidelity, it is also important to understand what to do after this. Before deciding whether to tell a guy about her actions or not, a girl should consider the possible outcomes of the situation. In addition, it is important to take into account the degree of trust in the relationship and the depth of mutual feelings, which will affect whether a man can forgive his chosen one.

The situation after betrayal can develop in several directions:

If in a relationship both partners prefer honesty and always try to be sincere with each other, you need to tell them that the woman cheated. Especially if it was an accident that the girl regrets and does not want to repeat. Everyone makes mistakes, but it is important to be able to admit when you are wrong and sincerely want to correct it. The guy can forgive or leave. This depends not only on the situation itself and his feelings towards his soul mate, but also on his personal attitude towards cheating. Some people are ready to turn a blind eye to one mistake, but for others this is a fundamental issue.
If the betrayal happened accidentally and not planned, the girl regrets what happened, you can try to hide the truth from your loved one. Many men do this: they have relationships on the side, but they are not going to leave the woman they love, much less tell her about their infidelity. But, hiding the truth from a guy, a girl must assess the risks of someone else telling him. For example, if cheating happened to his friend, someday he may spill the beans.

Whether to tell a guy about cheating or not is an individual decision and depends on many factors. You can put yourself in his place and imagine your own reaction to the discovery or preservation of the secret of betrayal.

All relationships are individual, so no one can give advice or a hint on what to do. Although psychologists advise to be honest with your loved ones - if the feeling is real, it will withstand any storm.

How to improve relationships after cheating

Having cheated on a guy and confessed it to him, every girl should understand that his trust will be greatly shaken. Even if he tries to sincerely forgive his beloved and “ turn this page“Somewhere deep down there will be self-doubt, doubt about sincerity, suspicion of a further repetition of betrayal.

Therefore, to restore a trusting relationship, you need to remember a few tips from psychologists:

After betrayal, it is not easy to establish relationships, trust is difficult to earn, and it is even more difficult to restore. But if there is a mutual feeling and a desire to move on together, everything will work out.

How to prove that a girl did not cheat

Cheating is an unpleasant and hurtful situation, but sometimes the guy’s jealous attitude and suspicions of cheating when the girl doesn’t even think about it are no less troubling.

I want to tell you how I cheated on my husband, why I did it and what ultimately came out of this story. I have been married for 5 years and have a child. I love my husband, he is a great father and husband. Before him, I had relationships with two other men, but nothing worked out with them for various reasons. But right now his attitude has somehow changed, some kind of aggression towards me, probably even angry.

We have a problem: he doesn’t suit me in bed, but I really love this business and want to do it. He knows that I am not happy, he knows that I don’t have much pleasure with him. How to continue to live with this? None of the options help.

I often began to have dirty thoughts, and I also have a fan with whom we communicate online (not even one, but two fans, it’s just that the second one is not as active on the site and writes rarely). He knows about our problem, has wanted me for a long time and offers help. But I’m afraid, I can’t decide to cheat on my husband. It seems that I will betray him (my husband) with this act, but, on the other hand, I want to understand whether I can even experience orgasms.

Friends came to visit us that week; we’ve been friends for a long time. It so happened that everyone went to bed, we sat and chatted with my friend and husband, my husband spoke badly about me and scolded me. I don’t know how it happened that our legs were touching his friend’s, everything that my husband said was unpleasant to me, for some reason I began to touch my friend’s leg more and more often... We sat, talked, secretly stroked each other’s legs, and next to The husband sat and did not notice anything. When he went to the toilet, his friend put my hand on his jeans - he was very ready. We were both shocked by what happened. I periodically went to the toilet, then to the bathroom to cool down.

The husband went to bed. We sat, looked at each other's site and were shocked by it all. Then there was a kiss, then there was petting. We both didn’t want to go to sleep, we wanted continuation, terrible interest and fear. It’s scary to do anything at home when his wife and my husband are sleeping next to him. Maybe I should have gone to bed, but I saw that he just didn’t want to sleep.

We went outside, found the entrance - passion, kisses, I was shaking all over, contact began - and he immediately came. I was terribly disappointed, he was in a hurry to go home so that no one would suspect anything, he was afraid that this might be revealed, that I would tell someone.

I only had a bitter feeling in my soul: I couldn’t decide to cheat for so long, and when it happened, it greatly disappointed me. On the one hand, there is a logical explanation: terrible overexcitation and that’s why everything happened so quickly for him our first time. But now I can’t think about anything else - I want to finish what I started, and that’s it. And having sex with two men at the same time is somehow unusual...

They left, the next morning I behaved as if nothing had happened. I was not ashamed in front of my husband - he himself provoked me with his offensive words, I felt uncomfortable in front of my friend, my friend’s wife. But she herself talked so much about how passionate he was and how he constantly wanted sex and how he threatened her that he would take a mistress. I didn’t expect such fear from him, such indecisiveness, that he, as a man, did not bring the matter with me to the end, realizing that I was left unsatisfied (in theory, he should be ashamed, knowing that this is exactly what happened with my husband) problem).

Dameon Marmoleyo and 18-year-old Soledad Torres met on Snapchat. Soon after they started dating, the guy told his girlfriend to delete all her social media accounts and began to tightly control her. And all because the girl found out about her boyfriend’s betrayal, and he was afraid that she might answer him in kind.

He didn't trust me because he thought I would do the same thing as him. Therefore, he forced me to delete all accounts on social networks, took me from school, from work, from my family, especially from my mother.

Soledad Torres

But Soledad secretly installed Snapchat anyway to communicate with her mother. And this did not go unnoticed. One day Dameon returned from work and saw a message on the app. The guy just went crazy. He attacked the girl in a fit of rage, began beating her severely and shouting accusations of treason and dirty curses. Soledad tried to hide in the bathroom. But the enraged bastard caught up with her and dealt several more terrible blows - including grabbing the victim by the hair and slamming his head into the bathtub several times.

He grabbed me, threw me to the floor and began to stomp on my body and head, and then kicked and beat me

Soledad Torres

Dameon called an ambulance himself, and then threw the phone at the bleeding Soledad and disappeared. Doctors found the girl unconscious with a broken head. At the hospital, she needed three stitches and 15 staples. The victim came to her senses and says that she will not let this break her, no matter what.

I won't let this get me down. I will become stronger and wiser. No woman or man should ever feel pain from someone they love.

Soledad Torres

Dameon Marmoleyo was detained. In court he pleaded guilty to assault. He faces another hearing soon. In addition, police say experts matched Dameon's sole prints to the shape of the bruises on Soledad's body and they were identical.

Still from the movie "Fifty Shades Darker"

I have been married for 5 years and have a child. I love my husband, he is a great father and husband. Before him, I had relationships with two other men, but nothing worked out with them for various reasons. But right now his attitude has somehow changed, some kind of aggression towards me, probably even angry.

I often began to have dirty thoughts, and I also have a fan with whom we communicate online (not even one, but two fans, it’s just that the second one is not so active and writes rarely). He knows about our problem, has wanted me for a long time and offers help. But I’m afraid, I can’t decide to cheat on my husband. It seems that I will betray him (my husband) with this act, but, on the other hand, I want to understand whether I can even experience orgasms.

We sat, talked, secretly stroked each other’s feet, and my husband sat next to him and did not notice anything. When he went to the toilet, his friend put my hand on his jeans - he was very ready. We were both shocked by what happened. I periodically went to the toilet, then to the bathroom to cool down.

The husband went to bed. We sat, looked at each other and were shocked by it all. Then there was a kiss. We both didn’t want to go to sleep, we wanted continuation, terrible interest and fear. It’s scary to do anything at home when his wife and my husband are sleeping next to him. Maybe I should have gone to bed, but I saw that he just didn’t want to sleep.

All I have left in my soul is this: I couldn’t decide to cheat for so long, and when it happened, it greatly disappointed me. On the one hand, there is a logical explanation: terrible overexcitation and that’s why everything happened so quickly for him our first time. But now I can’t think about anything else - I want to finish what I started, and that’s it. And having sex with two men at the same time is somehow unusual...

They left, and the next morning I behaved as if nothing had happened. I wasn’t ashamed in front of my husband - he himself provoked me with his offensive words, I felt uncomfortable in front of my friend, my friend’s wife. But she herself talked so much about how passionate he was and how he constantly wanted sex and how he threatened her that he would take a mistress. I didn’t expect such fear from him, such indecisiveness, that he, as a man, did not bring the matter with me to the end, realizing that I was left unsatisfied (in theory, he should be ashamed, knowing that this is exactly what happened with my husband) problem).

Few women love pathological jealous people and can build long-term relationships with them, but the indifference of men also acts in a similarly destructive way. Some girls even have to deal with the unusual desire of a partner when he wants a woman to cheat on him. Unfortunately, there are many more such provocateurs than those experiencing jealousy. This behavior can be explained by the syndrome of provoked betrayal.

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Provoked Cheating Syndrome

With provoked infidelity syndrome, a man experiences sexual arousal at the thought of his regular partner having sex with another. This strange behavior is most often observed in middle-aged men. Usually they begin to push a woman to cheat after 7-10 years of marriage. At first they make subtle hints about their unusual desires, and then they may openly ask or even demand to have sex with someone else.

For a man with provoked betrayal syndrome, not only the fact of betrayal is important, but also a detailed report on the actions taken. Having experienced this themselves, many women do not know what to do, and even begin to invent non-existent stories about their sexual relationships on the side, after which their husband noticeably cheers up. But as soon as you admit to deception, the husband’s mercy gives way to anger, which affects future relationships.

It may seem that only a completely indifferent man would ask a woman to sleep with others, but this is not the case. He may be very afraid of losing her and breaking off the relationship, which is why he forces his wife to do exactly what causes him the greatest fear. After the greatest fear has come true, the spouse relaxes for a while. The sexual arousal that he experiences at this time is not associated with the fact of betrayal, but with the fact that the danger has disappeared.

With provoked infidelity syndrome, men are distinguished by their fidelity and are often impeccable family men. Classic cheaters, on the contrary, will under no circumstances allow such behavior from their significant other and will diligently protect her from the views of strangers.

Provoked betrayal syndrome is a type of masochism. It occurs in men suffering from an inferiority complex and with severe self-doubt. If a man is self-confident and independent, he will never want to be deceived in his life and will not enjoy his experiences after learning about the betrayal. Partners who try to force their girlfriends to sleep with others often have high sexuality and are excellent lovers, but this does not add to their self-confidence.

Other reasons

If a man allows his wife to cheat, this does not always mean that he is complex. The reason for this behavior, in addition to the syndrome of provoked betrayal, may be the following reasons:

Age difference. The man is much older than his wife and is afraid that he will soon stop satisfying her in bed. In order to somehow relieve the tension, he starts talking about how betrayal is quite acceptable in their relationship, although he is afraid of it. Over time, he simply becomes a slave to his own fears.
Physiological problems. At a relatively young age, the husband developed problems with potency, and he is afraid to tell his partner, and he is afraid to go to the doctor to cope with the problem. In order to somehow keep the girl and not tell her about his secret, he tries to persuade her to cheat with another guy.
Childhood psychological trauma. As a child, a man suffered humiliation from women, therefore, even as an adult, he does not trust girls and is constantly waiting for betrayal. As a result, he is so afraid of losing his beloved that he suggests cheating on her.
Cooled down feelings. After living together for a long time, a man began to perceive his wife as a second mother, and in order to return erotic attraction, he strives to make her image more carnal and down-to-earth. To do this, he can imagine that she cheated on him.

A husband’s fantasies about his wife’s infidelity should under no circumstances become a stimulus to action.. Such thoughts only occur to weak and complex men, and their implementation will not lead to anything good. A woman needs to assess the situation sensibly and try to save the marriage. This behavior of the husband should be perceived as a phobia that must be fought.

What to do?

Every attempt by the husband to relieve tension by pushing his wife to cheat only makes the situation worse. If a man loves his wife, he begins to work himself up even more, which leads to regular scandals, and the logical conclusion of this scenario is complete separation. You can break this vicious circle by following simple tips:

Don't cheat on your partner. A woman must prove to him that she only likes him - the one and only. You need to expand your circle of acquaintances and start communicating with more people, but at the same time pay attention only to him.
You need to diversify your sex life. Role-playing games are perfect for this, they will help a woman get into any role. A robe, slippers and curlers are unlikely to excite a man.
Periodically create scenes of jealousy. In moderate doses, jealousy can flatter vanity: this way a woman will show that she appreciates him and considers him attractive to others.
Tell your husband about your plans to have many children. A mother with many children is unlikely to be able to leave for someone else and cheat, and her husband’s fears will be able to disappear, even for a short period.

It is important for a man to feel needed, unique and loved - then his strange fantasies will go away on their own. After all, in fact, he does not dream of any betrayal of his wife. He needs a faithful and devoted partner who will not give herself to another under any circumstances.

Can jealous people dream of betrayal?

You shouldn’t be surprised, but you can also hear proposals to change from jealous people. With a normal feeling of jealousy, a man will never allow his partner to cheat, and if this does happen, a breakup is inevitable.

Pathological jealous people are convinced in advance that a woman is cheating, but with obsessive confidence, it is impossible to convince them otherwise. They provoke their wife to commit adultery or at least confess to it in order to be convinced of their suspicions. If a woman starts making up stories about imaginary adventures “to the left” or actually cheating, then it will be difficult to avoid negative situations.

Women need to pay attention to their partner’s behavior and be wary of any verbal threats, violence in any form, or ambiguous statements implying reprisals against the wife and imaginary lover. In cases of pronounced delirium, a man may begin to prepare a weapon. These are all signs of mental illness.

If you are delirious of jealousy, you should not even try to please your partner: he will still not be happy with everything. It is worth knowing that delusions of jealousy do not arise in one day, but consistently develop in an increasing manner. At the first signs of this condition, you should contact a specialist involved in the psychology of family life.

Some jealous people push a woman to cheat in order to test her feelings. Such men can spend years persuading a loved one to be intimate with a friend in order to eventually become convinced that their loved one has no feelings and break up with her. Others really have not felt anything for their wife for a long time and are not averse to leaving, but for this they need a reason.

An unusual desire for a wife’s infidelity should under no circumstances be carried out and follow the provocateur’s lead - in reality, no husband will be happy about his wife’s infidelity. If a mentally ill person appears nearby and experiences sexual pleasure from this, it is worth treating him or breaking off all ties with him.

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