How to get rid of depression. Who is at risk for burnout or fatigue syndrome?

There are a lot of descriptions of this state - both everyday and scientific: “Everyone around me is disgusted,” “I don’t want to see anyone,” “Poisoning by people,” “I physically can’t communicate with anyone.” Does this happen to you? When you go out into the street, and there is horror: there are a hundred times more passers-by than in China! You show up in the office and your colleagues, as if by agreement, tug at you, force you to communicate, and endlessly demand your attention. If you want to take a break from tiresome conversations, but no: the frenzied telephone receiver fills and fills your head with annoying voices... You would rather run away from this crowd of people. Hide in a hole. And “to feel orphanhood as bliss” - thanks to Akhmadulina for her poetic interpretation of the medical term “emotional burnout syndrome.”

Signs of emotional burnout:
. I don’t want to see, hear, or communicate with anyone.
. Permanent fatigue.
. Head fog, migraine, nausea.
. Insomnia due to excitement: the state of being “so tired that you can’t fall asleep.” Reluctance to wake up in the morning.
. Emotional emptiness (feeling of a “squeezed lemon”).
. Symptoms of asthenia: rapid heartbeat, dilated pupils,
pale skin.
. Irritability, impatience.
. Loss of ability to make decisions.
. Feeling disappointed in the chosen activity.
. Exacerbation of chronic diseases.

Emotional cannibalism
The scientific term “burnout” was coined and coined by American psychologist Fredeberg in 1974. Strictly speaking, the psychologist did not invent anything, it was just that his patients, when describing their condition, used the phrase “I am scorched, my soul is ashes” so often that Fredeberg could only give the metaphor the status of a diagnosis. And the emotional burnout syndrome “went to the people.” At first, this diagnosis was given to anyone who showed characteristic signs of “communication exhaustion.” Patients described their experiences very colorfully - “Those around me eat me up piece by piece, drink my energy, devour my emotions” - and complained of fatigue, a feeling of powerlessness, exhaustion, frequent headaches, and insomnia. The disorder was loudly dubbed “emotional cannibalism” in pseudo-scientific publications and declared an inevitable psychological evil of our time: after all, communication, the main culprit of all troubles, is present in literally everything we do - be it relationships with relatives or professional activities.
Time passed, and the specialists, handing out sonorous diagnoses left and right, became thoughtful. Something didn’t work out: At work you need to sweat, but not burn
the recording of “burnout” flashed in the medical records of malicious misanthropes, and young ladies tired of parental nagging, and men entangled in love relationships, and mothers tormented by capricious children, and even psychopaths, from time to time feeling the desire to “pick up a machine gun and all of them! » The patients listed above undoubtedly had problems, but they were associated with different reasons and related to communication with specific people, and not communication as such in general. Psychologists and psychiatrists took a closer look at diagnosed with emotional burnout more carefully.
It turned out that many who complain of “communication toxicity” have one thing in common: their professional success directly depended on the quality and quantity of communication with other people. And the diagnosis of “emotional burnout syndrome”, having left the medical records of housewives, drivers, jewelers, etc., migrated to the category of disorders called in psychology professional deformation. Namely, it has become the annoying prerogative of those who, due to their duty, are forced to communicate closely with people. IN hit the risk group(according to the degree of reduction in the likelihood of emotional burnout): psychotherapists, teachers, journalists, leaders of all ranks, including managers, as well as caregivers, governesses, doctors, nurses and others. Experts began to call victims of emotional cannibalism “burned out” or “burned out,” depending on the severity of the disorder.

Disgust and hatred
Several years ago, the American National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health published data showing that of the 40 million people worldwide suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, two-thirds are most likely affected not by chronic fatigue itself, but by the clinical form of “burnout.” .And the main reason for their malaise is not so much professional overload, rush jobs, stress, long working hours, fear of losing a job and fear of being incompetent (all of the above is a trigger for chronic fatigue), but oversaturation of contacts with other people- as they say, right to the eyeballs. The situation is a dead end: after all, communication is the essence of the professional activity of those who, due to emotional burnout, are no longer able to speak, let alone see their clients or partners. Driven into the trap “I can’t communicate, but I can’t not communicate,” a person experiences severe stress. Overwork is interspersed with irritation - up to attacks of so-called office rage, when people take out unmotivated aggression on colleagues or clients. According to research by British sociologists, every second employee at least once fell into an uncontrollable rage at his workplace. However, unmotivated aggression is the last degree of emotional burnout. Fortunately, “burnout” creeps up on a person gradually. This means we have time to understand what is happening and not allow ourselves to burn to the ground.

The first stage of chronic fatigue syndrome is “emotional deficit.” Work that until recently brought pleasure causes disgust. The doctor understands that he no longer wants to help his patients, the teacher understands that he is sick of the mere thought of the upcoming lecture, the journalist’s cheekbones are cramped from the need to arrange an interview. “Burnouts” make an unpleasant discovery: the usual situations in which they easily, and most importantly, effectively interacted with people, for some reason became difficult. Victims of burnout are increasingly making mistakes when performing simple professional duties. Sensitivity and irritability grow: “Why should I tolerate them all? I'm not made of iron!

In the second stage of “emotional detachment” a person turns on psychological defense, putting a barrier between himself and those with whom he must work. “If I can’t get away from you, I’ll stop paying attention to you,” this is possible characterize "burning out" mood. Emotions become scarce, nothing - neither positive nor negative circumstances - evokes a spiritual response. A person turns into a soulless robot, and this, of course, does not go unnoticed by partners or clients. They are perplexed, offended, and sometimes even cut off contact. At this stage, the quality of the “burning out” person’s work begins to significantly decline.

Many would get rid of emotional burnout even in the initial stages if
would not admit their condition to management. Multiple timeouts in the form
Vacations or business trips help restore emotional resources.

It often happens that I want to be alone. Don't see anyone, don't talk to anyone. I just don't have the energy for these social interactions.

But I live in a hostel. In the same room with another girl.

If there is someone in the room, a red light is on at the door. This way you can always find out if your neighbor is there.

Sometimes the red light doesn't bother me at all. I open the door, say "Hello!" - and this is enough to stay in the room for a minute or two and do what I need. Go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, comb your hair, whatever. Place your yogurt in the refrigerator. Take something from the closet. Ordinary, basic things.

Occasionally I stand by this red light and doubt - do I need it?

Sometimes, without even a doubt, I open the door and find a neighbor there with her friend. They were clearly talking about something, but they were suddenly interrupted by my visit. It is obvious that this is a burden for them. Having said hello, the guy almost immediately leaves the room. The neighbor comes out to pick him up.
It would seem a very convenient option - now the room is completely at my disposal. But this escape leaves a depressing impression.

More often than not, I walk past the door, calmly deciding that if the room is free, I’ll go in. If not, I'll pass by. Big deal, it's a problem. Luckily, the hostel has both a public refrigerator and public toilets.

Going to bed early is a problem if there is a neighbor in the room. The only psychologically convenient option for me is to time the moment when she is not in the room and quickly go to bed before she appears.

When coming from somewhere far away, straight from the airport, I return straight to the room only in cases where my neighbor is out of town. Usually I go to some neutral territory, somehow put myself in order, and sit down at the computer. Sometimes wishing I could take a shower. But usually this desire is quickly replaced by something else.
In these cases, what bothers me is that the neighbor will probably start asking me where I have been. But I have no desire to share this at all. I just want to keep it to myself.
It's easier with guys you know:

You just disappeared somewhere.
- I like to disappear.

Where have you gone?
- Yes, back and forth.

But I can’t say that to my neighbor. I approach the door for the third time that day and see a red light. Before that, I almost firmly decided that I would come in anyway - I really needed to take a shower.
But I look at this light and don’t find any strength in myself to go in. We'll have to talk. This is the last thing I want right now.
I turn around and leave.

I'm thinking of buying a membership to a nearby fitness center so I can have access to showers at almost any time. But this does not remove the psychological aspect of the problem. What do you think this is? I wanted to immediately go to the autistic forum, but they have strict face control there, which I will not pass. I am quite capable of empathy. I easily meet new people where no one owes anything to anyone. I’m quite good at carrying on everyday conversations about nothing. I communicate well with my loved ones. Communication problems - specifically with semi-familiar people like my neighbor.

The message cannot be edited, so I’ll add it this way.
It is possible that this has something to do with perceived obligations. It’s always easier for me in the company of strangers, in some anonymous setting, in a foreign city. With semi-familiar people, it is implied that we must have some kind of relationship with them, some kind of context of communication, about which I am not aware. This stresses me out. Therefore, when I don’t have the strength, I prefer to avoid them: I just don’t want to see anyone, I don’t want to make an effort to communicate or explain something.

It's easy for me to make new acquaintances, but difficult to maintain them. Often I just don't know how. I simply don’t know how to make friends without a common context - studies, online interests, travel, going to exhibitions. If there is a context, it is close to me, I understand the situation.

It also seems to me that in my case with my neighbor there is some kind of mutual feeling of guilt that we are not friends. As if we owe each other something, but we don’t know exactly what. Sometimes I try to carry on a conversation with her about something, precisely because of the guilt that we hardly talk. Sometimes there are such attempts on her part. And sometimes we even manage to communicate freely, simply because we want to. But somehow overall it doesn’t go well.

As far as I remember, at school age I had something like a fear of meeting someone half-familiar on the street. One day we met a teacher on the street - she was wearing a hat, and I had very poor eyesight. Of course, I didn't recognize her. I just looked dumbfounded - who is greeting me? I think she was offended by this. Then she clarified in front of the whole class whether it was true that it was because of her eyesight. After that, I developed the habit of saying hello to those who resemble my friends, just to be on the safe side. It still shows up in me sometimes. And when I choose a road, I most often plan the route so that there is less chance of meeting someone.

Hello List. I remembered how, when I was a student, I lived in an apartment with a landlady and another girl. I was able to find a common language with the owner, despite the fact that she was 60 years older than me, but I couldn’t with the second girl. And I also remember this feeling of internal tension when we crossed paths with her, that I needed to smile, maybe tell something, laugh - show goodwill in general. So that the atmosphere in the house remains calm and conducive to relaxation. Somehow it immediately became clear that we were not close and would not become friends, and we were not sterile towards that, even if it made me a little sad.. In any case, I always felt much more comfortable when she was not at home, and I could just be yourself and not pretend to be anyone. So I understand your feelings to some extent. But it was still easier for me. The three of us had our own room in the apartment, in which everyone could be alone and not communicate with anyone if he didn’t want to.. It’s different for you, you have to share one room with essentially a stranger. And why did you decide that your desire to be alone is not normal? Are you studying? How long have you been living in the hostel? Are your relatives far away? Are there friends with whom you find it easy to spend time together?
And please tell us in more detail about your feeling of guilt towards your neighbor. Why do you need it?

Thank you very much for your answer, it clarified my situation to some extent. It really does look like it.

As for the desire to be alone, I’m just working through possible options. It’s like medical student syndrome - reading descriptions of diseases and finding all sorts of symptoms in yourself. You're probably right, I just shouldn't dwell on it.

I've been studying in the hostel for a little over a year now. I have some friends, but not particularly close ones - rather just friends with whom I enjoy spending time. We often meet by chance somewhere, for example, in the dining room or in the laundry room. Sometimes we go somewhere with a group, although this is rare - people prefer bars and discos, but I’m usually not interested in that. And perhaps I spend too much time at the computer, communicating on the Internet, this largely replaces real communication for me - after all, I haven’t found truly close friends in real life. Relatives are far away.

And please tell us in more detail about your feeling of guilt towards your neighbor. Why do you need it?

I go to bed earlier and get up earlier than she does, so sometimes we can go days without seeing each other. Unless by chance somewhere. But when I also specifically avoid her, it somehow stresses me out. It's like something inside of me is wrong. As if I’m showing a bad attitude towards a person, which is unfair, she’s not to blame for anything. It would be unpleasant if she suddenly began to suspect that she was being deliberately avoided. I have a good opinion about her, but it’s precisely that we cannot find a common language.

As for the desire to be alone, I’m just working through possible options. It’s like medical student syndrome - reading descriptions of diseases and finding all sorts of symptoms in yourself. You're probably right, I just shouldn't dwell on it.

Are you a future doctor? My respect to you - a wonderful profession. Regarding loneliness, I think it’s natural to want to close yourself when someone is forced to violate your personal boundaries. Do you know what proximity zones are and what they are like? You shouldn’t get hung up - yes, but in the sense that your desire is caused only by life circumstances, and not by an unsociable character)) Communication is necessary and important, people are social animals

Psychologist's answer:

Hello, Anastasia!

You are asking for help and advice. Let's understand the reasons for your condition.

You say that everything that is happening to you did not start from scratch. As I understand it, you are disappointed in the people who surround you. Your words: “My best friend spat on me, closed herself off and doesn’t communicate with anyone.” At the same time, you note: “but she, in fact, always did not care about my problems, and she always envied me in many ways.” There is a contradiction in your words. You call the person who never cared about you your best friend. Probably, what you are thinking about your friend now is the result of anger because she left you and does not make contact. Therefore, it’s easier for you to think that your friend is not very pretty if she does this, than to admit her absence in your life. Because if you admit that you miss her and you miss her, this will mean a large number of experiences that you will have to go through in order to ultimately let the person go. It’s probably these kinds of experiences that you’re not ready for. And if I’m wrong, and your friend really behaved selfishly towards you and did not consider you, what is the meaning of this friendship for you? Was the person worth calling him “best friend”.

As far as I can see from your letter, you have a difficult relationship with your mother. You could never find understanding and acceptance from her. This leaves a big imprint on how your relationships with other people are built. Because if there is no trust in the closest people (and these are our parents), it is impossible to build trusting relationships with other people. And, of course, this entails a constant feeling of loneliness, even if there is no mutual understanding with family. I cannot suggest that you improve your relationship with your mother, because... you write: “Naturally, I cannot and will not tell her some secret.” However, in order for you to have harmonious relationships with other people, it would be very important for you and your mother to listen to each other and find mutual understanding. I think you will decide for yourself whether it is worth contacting your mother and trying to improve your relationship with her.

You asked for a definition of your condition. Words from the letter: “I don’t want to see anyone. I have lost interest in almost all my hobbies and am ready to shoot myself. I'm tired of everything. I don’t eat anything, I’ve lost my appetite, I only sit on the water.” This is called "apathy". And it is important to find out the reason for its occurrence. I think you spent a lot of energy worrying, so now you have no strength left. Although one emotion still sits in you: this is anger, which you cannot completely let go of: “People disgust me, but at the same time I want to go for a walk.” And for this it is important to admit that you are very angry with those people who hooked you. Probably even tell them about it directly, and not hoard everything inside yourself.

Your words: “Friends no longer invite me to go out” and “everyone has given up on me.” It’s probably unpleasant for acquaintances that their proposals for a walk are constantly rejected. They're tired of feeling like they need these outings more than you do, so the offers to get together have been dwindling. Few people like to feel rejected. People also feel your mood and your state. Due to the fact that you cannot directly express to everyone about your painful situation, they simply feel your tension and may even take it personally. This is unpleasant for them. Here we return to the need to direct your anger somewhere so that it does not accumulate and interfere with your relationship with others who are not to blame for what is happening.

I hope I was able to help you understand the situation and everything will work out for you.

Hello, my name is Mira, I am 21 years old.
Lately, I have increasingly fallen into a state where I don’t want to see or hear anyone. And it’s not a burden to me at all; on the contrary, I feel safe - as if in a cocoon. I can sit in my room all day, minding my own business or thinking about something else. I don’t want to meet with friends or call them, answer their messages and letters. When someone calls me, I don’t pick up the phone or ask my household to tell me that I’m not there. And it’s not that it’s unpleasant for me to communicate with someone, it just seems so difficult and impossible, I don’t even know how to explain this feeling. As if, in order to talk to someone, you have to overcome yourself and throw all your strength, all your will at it. On the other hand, I feel guilty for ignoring my friends and loved ones, and this makes it even harder.
I also rarely talk to people in my household, and sometimes they irritate me with their mere presence. I don’t want to go out either, because there are people there, there are a lot of them and they also irritate with their bustle. Every time going out somewhere is real torture for me. I often want to go to a desert island and stay there forever!
By nature I am an introvert, and I am a rather reserved and uncommunicative person, but even for me, this state is probably not normal.
Please tell me what should I do about this?

Answers from psychologists

Hello Mira.

You described your feelings, actions, thoughts very clearly and in detail.

It is clearly visible how you sit at home, refuse calls, communicate with family members, friends and loved ones...

Sit in your room all day long and go about your business and thoughts (The question arises - what kind of things are you doing and what are you thinking about? And will they bring you benefits - from material to mental, spiritual) ...

What to do about it?

You don't have to do anything if it suits you...

(does all this suit your friends and relatives - you could lose them all...)

This condition is normal - for some periods.

Constantly?

Where is the uninhabited island on which you can live?

Since you asked the question - what to do about it? - therefore, it doesn’t bring you much joy either?

Then there's a lot you can do about it.

Hello Mira.

A colleague, Idrisov Galikhan Abdeshevich, has already written that you clearly describe your feelings and experiences. And that you can go to a psychologist.

In my opinion, you have not described anything - and perhaps this is symptomatic - that makes you want to hide in a cocoon of loneliness from external influences - from phone calls, communication with friends.

In my opinion, you are experiencing a contradiction between feelings of guilt in relation to your social role and its responsibilities, and the internal needs to be with yourself. It seems to me that you do not fully understand what is so unpleasant and sick in the outside world that it is annoying. You feel your weakness - but so vaguely - “real torture”, “annoyed by their presence”, but what is this Weakness about? Not clear.

I’m glad that you understand that external adaptation to internal discomfort cannot solve the problem of a productive, rich life. But what to do if you don’t know what’s going on? You don't know and I don't understand. It is clear that the reasons are not clear to you. But such experiences are common. It is clear that something needs to be done - but what? If you run, then from what? If it strives, then to what?

If we were talking to professionals, then perhaps a professional would say: She is experiencing a classic existential crisis of loneliness, self-determination and choice of path. I would nod, but there would still be emptiness inside - perhaps as a parallel with your unrequited emptiness - Well, I know what’s bad, and what to do?

In such cases, it helps either a very wise and close person from the environment, or going to a fairly wise and experienced person who would not brush aside a couple of general phrases, but would actually participate in a dialogue in order to find reasons, determine the future, look for answers to questions - Why I? Who am I?

The problem with conditions like yours is that the person becomes a little stupid and cannot simply answer current questions. And here you need a person “to think about.” Because, as the saying goes, with whom you behave, you will gain. And if you break off contacts, who do you hang out with? What are you gaining?

This is such a difficult answer to your difficult letter.

Best regards, Victor.

Good answer 15 Bad answer 5

Hello Mira! There is probably a reason for your condition. Would you like to find it yourself? If you wrote a letter on this site, it means something is bothering you. Of course, you can sit at home and not communicate with anyone, but let's imagine what will happen to you in 5 years? Will you still be at home? One? What about the family? Your own? Children for example? If you want to find the reasons for your condition, please contact us. Sincerely, Olesya

Good answer 4 Bad answer 15

Hello Mira! Based on all the signs you described, you are depressed. Depression is a disorder. which needs to be taken seriously. Here you can take a free online test for depression http://www.infamed.com/psy/alt21_1.html

Severe depression requires the help of a psychologist, medication support, and sometimes hospitalization for a while.

With moderate severity of depression, consultation with a psychologist is required, and sometimes also medicinal support. There is no need to be afraid of antidepressants; modern medications are not addictive, provided that all dosages and doctor’s recommendations are followed.

In case of mild depression, the help of a psychologist is very effective, the only thing you need to be patient is at least 10 consultations. a psychologist will help you understand the causes of depression and your good mood will return, the world will regain its bright colors, and communication with friends will begin to bring joy.

Good answer 8 Bad answer 4

Hello Mira!

Answer to the question. What you do with it depends on what you want. In general, whatever you want in life. If you want absolute safety and tranquility, then continue to live the way you live. But absolute safety, as a rule, is where there is little life and movement, because life and movement always a priori pose danger. But not total (otherwise we would all have died out long ago), but quite controlled, if only you take the responsibility to control it. In the meantime, you are avoiding any control over your life, simply hiding from it. And this is your right. Just keep in mind that the years go by, life passes, and you will not have another chance to live (namely, live) your youth. You can make any choice, just understand the consequences. And if they satisfy you, then this choice will be conscious, and you will not regret it later. And having chosen life, you will face different risks (any relationship is always a risk), but these risks can be managed by developing in the field of building relationships with people. And this is work, and sometimes not easy. But he is rewarded with a bright, happy, meaningful life among people. You have a choice, and I would suggest that you seriously think about it. All the best, Elena.

Good answer 29 Bad answer 7

Surely each of us has had to face shoulder to shoulder with psychological problems. Every person has periods when he becomes indifferent to everything, does not strive for anything, does not have the slightest desire to do anything. Psychologists call this state of deep indifference apathy. “I don’t want to communicate with anyone,” this phrase can often be heard from a person suffering from this psychotic disorder. What are the causes of apathy, how to recognize it and what advice do psychologists give to cope with this problem?

How dangerous is apathy and what could be the consequences?

One of the forms of the protective reaction of the psyche to stressful situations, lack of sleep, emotional distress, physical or moral exhaustion can be indifference not only to everything around us and what is happening, but also to oneself. This depressed state is characterized by a general loss of strength, so staying in it for a long time is dangerous not only for a person’s mental, but also physical health. With apathy, the risk of “paralysis” of the personality increases: due to focusing exclusively on one’s own problems, the patient ceases to find positive aspects in various situations and ceases to see the beauty of the outside world.

A person suffering from apathy has no desire to communicate with people. It is quite difficult to cope with this type of disorder on your own. The patient will need enormous willpower, dedication and determination. With this problem, most patients turn to psychotherapists. In complicated cases, the patient can completely withdraw from society and fall out of the real world. Apathy is often accompanied by depression, and in the absence of treatment, the most dangerous scenario for the development of these disorders is often a person’s attempts to take his own life, which seems worthless and useless to him.

To understand the reasons why there is no desire to communicate, you need to delve into your subconscious and find there a reflection of specific events in your personal or public life that could cause serious damage to the patient’s psyche. The symptoms of this pathology cannot be confused with a bad mood, which is temporary. When looking at a person with apathy, there is always a feeling as if he does not hear or notice anything around him.

If the patient declares: “I don’t want any communication!”, drastic measures must be taken urgently. Apathy is amenable to medication and psychotherapeutic correction, but every step in the treatment of this condition must be competent and clearly weighed.

The main causes of spiritual emptiness

Like any other disease, the appearance of this disorder was preceded by certain factors. Indifference itself cannot arise out of nowhere, without any reason. Most often, apathy, due to which a person does not want to communicate with anyone, is a consequence of harsh self-criticism and dissatisfaction with oneself, which leads to a refusal to implement important plans.

The actual reasons for the appearance of an indifferent state include stress and emotional turmoil. Progressive apathy is accompanied by laziness, lack of emotions and even neglect of appearance and hygiene. Often, people with mental apathy have untidy and very dirty homes.

Tragic events

It happens that strong shocks occur in our lives. The death of loved ones or relatives, betrayal of a loved one or separation from him, serious injuries and disabilities - all this affects the emotional state. Any incidents that can affect the way of life deprive you of strength and force you to give up.

Apathy and a feeling of helplessness fetter a person in all spheres of his life. To accept what happened and come to your senses, a lot of time must pass after experiencing grief.

Emotional tension

A series of stressful situations experienced will not benefit anyone. Almost always, a person becomes indifferent as a result of prolonged psycho-emotional stress, which leads to exhaustion of the nervous system. At risk are people who endlessly doubt themselves, are in depressing feelings, and are worried. Without noticing it, the patient plunges into a depressed state. If he says: “I don’t want to communicate with people!”, most likely, his apathy has reached a critical point.

The turning point in the course of this mental illness is the stage during which the personality is destroyed. Experiencing negative emotions for a long time, a person subconsciously gets used to them. The result is complete dissatisfaction with life and hopelessness. A once confident person now no longer believes in himself and only focuses on problems.

Physical and mental exhaustion

Excessive workloads and lack of pleasure from work often lead to loss of vitality and deep fatigue. Working hard, every person unconsciously wants to receive in return something that will bring him moral satisfaction. If a business in which you had to invest a lot of energy and labor ultimately does not live up to expectations, after physical exhaustion comes moral exhaustion.

“I don’t want to communicate with friends, go to work and think about the future” - this is a typical behavior pattern for patients with apathy. The duration of treatment depends on the person. Therapy will be long and exhausting if he cannot find a suitable stimulus.

Fatigue is the main enemy of a good mood, positive thoughts and self-confidence. If it becomes chronic, burnout is inevitable. Apathy does not occur where there are no compelling reasons for it, so it is extremely important for people prone to psychotic disorders to avoid stressful situations, not to allow themselves to get involved in conflicts and emotional distress.

When self-criticism is not beneficial

Usually, close relatives and family members realize that a person needs the help of specialists. More and more often they hear from him that, they say, I’m tired of everything, nothing makes any sense, I don’t even want to communicate with friends and acquaintances. What to do in this situation?

An apathetic disorder could well lead to fantastic expectations. For example, a person has just started doing what he loves, but at the same time he immediately wanted to get high income. Thus, he places too stringent demands on himself and even deprives himself of the right to make mistakes.

But it is known that success can only be achieved through persistent efforts and trial and error. Anyone can make a mistake by making the wrong decision, but only for a psychologically stable person, wrong steps are a reason to try again or try something else. People prone to apathy perceive their own failures as real drama. Perfectionists often suffer from this disorder. They are too self-critical of personal achievements, considering them small and insignificant. This is what prevents a person from feeling completely happy and achieving their goals.

Psychological dependence

This is one of the reasons why a person refuses to fight the problem and generally make contact with anyone. The phrase “I don’t want to communicate with people” in psychology can be perceived as a consequence of addictive behavior. Addiction is an obsessive need to perform certain actions. This term is often used not only to define drug, drug, alcohol or gambling addiction.

When talking about addiction, psychologists mean a condition in which a person loses his individuality, ceases to control himself, and has no respect for himself and others.

You can understand that apathy was provoked by addiction by the patient’s behavior and his attitude towards others. All thoughts and desires of an addicted person are aimed only at satisfying their needs (take drugs, smoke a cigarette, see the object of their desire, etc.). A person with an addictive disorder is not able to manage his own life and take responsibility for what is happening.

Health problems as a cause of apathy

It is quite possible that the cause of the sudden isolation and depressive mood is a serious illness. It is not surprising that a person who feels bad says, “I don’t want to communicate with people.” What to do? In most cases, patients undergoing complex treatment are prescribed antidepressants. With a protracted illness, which makes adjustments to the usual way of life, a person becomes emotionally depressed. An illness can deprive you of the strength to enjoy even pleasant little things.

All the energy and resources of the body are spent exclusively on fighting the disease, therefore, to overcome the feeling of helplessness and raise the spirit, the patient is prescribed antidepressants. These medications help relieve fatigue and help maintain interest in life and doing things you love.

Public lack of demand

Another reason why a person may say: “I don’t want to communicate with anyone!” may be tense relationships among friends, a team, or family. Not wanting to make contact, on a subconscious level he protects himself from non-acceptance of himself by his environment. In psychology, this phenomenon is called “personality dissatisfaction syndrome.” It takes its roots, as a rule, from unsuccessful relationships with management, colleagues, relatives, etc.

If a person often hears critical statements addressed to himself and is forced to be in a state of constant confrontation, sooner or later he ceases to believe in his own rightness, and self-doubt is the first step towards apathy.

Features of female apathy

We are not always talking about a psychotic disorder if a person has no desire to communicate with people. Psychiatry says almost nothing about PMS, but many women know firsthand about apathy during this period. A state of spiritual emptiness and indifference is not uncommon for the fair sex on the eve of the menstrual cycle. Women become easily vulnerable, whiny, sentimental, and touchy.

How apathy manifests itself: symptoms

“I don’t want to communicate with people” - these depressing and frightening thoughts are familiar to everyone who has encountered apathy. It manifests itself in a very specific way. People who have experienced the hardships of all manifestations of this psychotic disorder know how difficult it is to cope with this problem and learn to find positivity in life again.

A person in a state of apathy has no desire to communicate with people. He practically does not notice what is happening around him, stops thinking even about his usual needs: he forgets to have dinner on time, take a walk in the fresh air, take a shower, refuses to meet with friends, etc. Those around him get the impression that the patient has forgotten how to experience feelings joy and show emotions, it seems that the person has wandered into a dead end and now does not know what to do next, in which direction to take the course.

People suffering from apathy are emotionally indifferent. Most of the time they are in a bad mood, it is impossible to cheer them up, charge them with positive emotions, give them optimism and instill faith in a bright future. If a person does not want to communicate with people, the diagnosis of “apathy” is not made at the first appointment with a specialist. The patient begins to be monitored to determine other symptoms characteristic of this psychotic disorder.

Indifference to everything around you is an absolute sign of apathy. If a person does not cope with his problem over a period of time, a psychotic disorder will begin to affect his overall health. Along with inspiration and vitality, people, for example, lose their appetite. Against the background of emotional depression, the sensitivity of taste and olfactory receptors is suppressed, so even your favorite dishes cease to please. Sometimes patients refuse food altogether.

In any manifestation, apathy forces you to avoid contact with people. “I don’t want communication, it’s better for me to be alone,” patients say this almost unanimously. It is much easier and more comfortable for a patient to be alone than to spend time with loved ones. Psychologists explain the lack of a sociable mood by saying that people lose moral strength and self-confidence with this diagnosis. A person does not want to communicate with people, because there is simply no energy left for communication. He deliberately minimizes any conversations. Persons in an apathetic state are not able to show initiative and activity when interacting with other people.

Emotional depression not only affects your mood, but also negatively affects your level of performance. Labor productivity drops so much that a person ceases to be confident that he can complete even those tasks that he previously coped with without difficulty. Instead of being cheerful and interested, the patient feels lethargic and drowsy. He tends to fall asleep even before important meetings, and in his voice one can clearly hear notes of indifference and indifference to what is happening.

Why don’t you want to communicate with anyone, and your favorite activities now don’t bring you pleasure? All patients suffering from apathy come to psychologists with this question. People are also often interested in whether the disorder needs to be treated. Here the answer is obvious: with apathy, every patient needs the help of specialists and the support of those close to them, but to a greater extent, the effectiveness of therapy will depend on whether the person himself realizes that his life is wasted, and he needs urgent treatment.

Which doctor should I contact?

This condition cannot be left to chance. To overcome apathy, you need to step over shame and shyness and turn to a specialist. You can consult a psychologist, a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist.

A psychologist has knowledge in this area and can give basic advice, but this specialist is not competent enough to make a diagnosis and prescribe medication. If the psychologist sees a problem, he refers the patient to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. It is important to put aside all prejudices and stereotypes, because these specialists are visited not only by mentally ill people, but also by mentally healthy people. In addition, a psychiatrist can treat insomnia, various phobias, epilepsy and other diseases.

If we analyze the most popular advice from psychologists and psychiatrists regarding the treatment of apathy, we can draw certain conclusions. According to most experts, at the first symptoms of this disorder it is necessary:

• Cope with laziness. By any means you need to force yourself to move. The easiest way is to go to the gym. During training, the patient will involuntarily plunge into a state of languor and relaxation, which will distract from problems and gloomy thoughts.
• Don't stop communicating. “I don’t want to meet or talk to anyone” - perhaps this is how a person suffering from apathy will answer. Most likely, he himself does not know what he is giving up: evening gatherings with an old friend and a bottle of light wine are not such a bad cure for apathy and blues. Of course, if you don't abuse it.
• Get plenty of rest and sleep. Apathy often occurs in people who are constantly in an intense rhythm of life. You need to sleep at least 7-8 hours a day.
• Eat right. The psychological well-being of each of us largely depends on what we eat. The body must receive all the necessary vitamins and microelements. It is better to give up processed foods and fast food forever.
• Listen to classical music. Scientists have repeatedly proven that the works of great authors can charge you with positive energy and give you an uplifting mood, which is so lacking in apathy.
• Do yoga. If a person has lost the desire to communicate with people and engage in any activity, he can be brought back to life with the help of mantra yoga. The essence of the method is the singing of a sacred text, during which a special vibration background is created that has a positive effect on the psycho-emotional state.
• Get out of your stupor. To end apathy, it is necessary to create a surge of emotions. There is no universal recipe here: one person needs extreme sports, even skydiving, while for another, watching their favorite comedy movie or energetic dancing may be enough.
• Stop regularly reading or watching the news. Often the media present information that causes irritation, fear, disappointment, envy, anger and other depressing emotions. Tragic news, shocking talk shows, and television programs about diseases can leave a negative imprint on the subconscious.
• Learn to manage your apathy. It’s better to overcome yourself and start reading literature about psychological problems than to mope and suffer from idleness.

If the patient has no desire to communicate with anyone, this does not mean that he is not inclined to emotional empathy. Each of us, to a greater or lesser extent, can support another person. Therefore, those who suffer from apathy need to communicate more with energetic and cheerful people.

Apathy and exercise

Lack of desire to communicate and indifference to one's own life are clear signs of a psychotic disorder. But like any other disease, it is much easier to cope with it at the first symptoms. A patient who follows the above recommendations has no chance of losing the fight, but, one way or another, serious willpower will be required. The main thing is not to get hung up on a depressed state. It is most correct to perceive apathy as a short-term phenomenon, a kind of time-out for rest and respite from the busy rhythm of life.

Many psychotherapists are sure that a person who has lost the desire to communicate with people has problems with physical health and poor health. It is no coincidence that the term “mental health”, which means mental balance and well-being. “A healthy mind in a healthy body” - this saying has been familiar to all of us since childhood, so the best prevention of any psychological problems is maintaining optimal physical shape.

Exercising in the morning or light workout in the gym is one of the recipes for improving the condition of the nervous system. A couple of months of constant exercise is enough to see how your mood stabilizes and the desire to live and do what you love appears again. It doesn’t matter at all which sport the patient likes best - cycling or race walking, swimming or weight lifting - the main thing is to get the much-needed emotions and again feel an interest in satisfying one’s own desires.

Hobby as a way to get out of apathy

When asking yourself: “Why don’t I want to communicate with people?”, you need to first of all pay attention to your sense of self and try to figure out what generally brings joy, a feeling of deep moral satisfaction. By doing something that gives real pleasure, a person blossoms, expands his potential capabilities and paths for self-realization.

Each of us has certain abilities, has an inclination towards one or another type of activity, and our favorite hobby always inspires, charges us with vital energy and gives optimism. Therefore, a hobby can be considered a full-fledged way to combat apathy.

How to know when it's time to see a doctor

If a person does not want to communicate with anyone, has become withdrawn and detached, how can I help him? It can be difficult to cure apathy without qualified help, but very often this phenomenon is not taken seriously enough. Therefore, it is important to understand that such manifestations are not inherent in a completely healthy person (mentally), unless, of course, he decides to take a break and refuse communication in order to think about many things in his life.

With apathy, the patient experiences a significant decrease in the potential of resources and opportunities, and the motivation for productive work decreases. If a person has stopped taking care of his appearance, it is worth paying attention to whether his behavior shows signs of a depressive disorder. This disease is truly dangerous, as it can lead to a tragic end.

You can understand that you cannot do without the intervention of professionals based on two fundamental points:

• Duration. If the blues last for several days and then go away on their own, you don’t need to do anything about this manifestation. Otherwise, when a person refuses to communicate with others for more than two weeks in a row, this is a significant cause for concern.
• Severity of symptoms of apathy. If the disorder manifests itself in such a way that it does not in any way affect the usual way of life, there is most likely no urgent need to see a doctor. It is unlikely that you will be able to cure apathy on your own if the symptoms of the disorder are severe.

How do you know when it’s time to act together with professionals? Obvious symptoms are when the patient is unable to wake up and get ready for work in the morning, has practically stopped drinking and eating, washing clothes, taking care of himself, etc. If all these signs are present, there is no need to wait for anything, it is advisable to contact him as soon as possible to the doctor. Information about psychotherapists and psychiatrists can usually be found on websites in your city. All you need to do is call and make an appointment at a convenient time. The doctor will listen to all complaints and prescribe suitable medications that will help restore lost vitality and joy of life.

Some psychotherapists have the skills of hypnosis - this is one of the expensive, but powerful and effective methods in the fight against psychotic disorders of various types. For high-quality provision of such services, you should contact only highly qualified specialists. The effect usually occurs after several sessions. The patient again begins to experience a surge of strength and vitality, and is freed from fears, worries and obsessive thoughts.

What to do if apathy is not permanent, but appears periodically? This disorder can significantly poison life for a long time. What to do in these cases? Many people use the tips listed earlier to cope with apathy. To use them you do not need any special skills or conditions. However, they will only become effective if the person using them realizes the need to treat and combat an apathetic state.

Why does apathy arise and why communicate with others? If you figure this out, it will be much easier to deal with the problem. Nothing ever happens to the body just like that: everything has its own physiological or psychosomatic reasons.