How not to be bored, why boredom occurs and how to deal with it (ways and methods against boredom). How to quickly forget the person you broke up with

Parting with a loved one is emotional pain, depression, tears, an attempt to forget. Time heals, but for some reason, when the first acute painful feelings pass, the memory remains for a long time.

Any activity evokes memories, as it was done when we were together. It often happens that a new friend has already appeared, who has taken a place in the shower, and sometimes in bed, but the problem of how to stop missing your loved one cannot be dealt with, especially if you have already managed to live together for some time. What to do in such a situation?

How to stop being bored

It is necessary that the fact of parting with this person be accepted at the level of the subcortex.

It is impossible to give unambiguous advice, but there are the following ways.


It is impossible to give unambiguous advice - absolutely opposite measures help some.

You can remember a common friend who sympathizes with a friend more than you, a woman left behind. You need to find her, and cry constantly, remembering all the happy moments, until the memories get bored or you don’t want to do something useful.

If a girlfriend is interested, does not pull at all, continues to meet, you can suspect that you have to be bored because of her intrigues. Then a banal showdown will help to forget. You can drag other common acquaintances into squabbles, then they will surely pull up the former - it will be fun.

Lock yourself up at home and not let anyone in, constantly think about your loved one, sob, repeating his name. If you have to show yourself in public, start all things with the phrase: “ We with ... did it like this, but ... would do it like that! and sigh bitterly. If you manage to quickly bring yourself to depression, medical intervention will relieve boredom - antidepressants and sedatives.

For some, in order to get rid of boredom, you need to figure out why it appeared. Did that person take up so much space in life that without him there was nothing to do?


It is worth whipping yourself up, remembering that you are a person. A strong person is interested and alone with himself. You can write down what they did together, why that person is missing specifically, analyze the circumstances. Having filled the void, it will be possible to return to an active life.

The fact that the soul is empty and there is nothing to do, you should only blame yourself. A person is born free, and builds his life according to his own taste, based on his own needs. You should not turn your own life into memories of the past, you need to remember what you did before he appeared in life.

Didn't you get bored then?

Sometimes you begin to understand that discomfort and boredom are caused by a change in lifestyle, and that person has nothing to do with it. They just developed new habits, akin to animal reflexes. In the evening, it is customary to go to a cafe, on Sundays - to discuss a movie watched together. It is worth taking empty evenings and finding a person with whom you can discuss what is happening in life and on the screen. Then there will be no trace of boredom.

If the boredom of a loved one is not caused by parting, but by his long absence, it is even easier to deal with it. Now there are enough means of communication to part only formally: the Internet, the telephone, the good old telegraph.

It is impossible to get a person out of your head in a short time, it is enough to reduce the number of memories of him to a minimum. Time and distance help to get rid of sorrowful and sad thoughts. You need to try to start a new life, and gradually you will stop missing the former.

Quite often in the literature you can read that boredom is an ally of idlers and lazy people, but is it really so? Sometimes even the busiest and hardest person gets bored if he has a good reason for it. So, let's try to figure out how not to get bored.

First of all, it is worth noting that boredom is one of the feelings that only a person can experience. Animals cannot be bored when there is nothing to do or they are lonely. That is why, in order to get rid of this unpleasant feeling, first of all, it is necessary to find its cause. Just as the body needs constant nourishment, a person needs to receive new and new emotions. As soon as we stop feeding on impressions, our body becomes bored. Let's see how to properly overcome this emotional affliction.

Make your life brighter

If you cannot live without positive emotions and bright events, then the very first and main way to get rid of boredom will be to find an interesting and exciting activity. If there is a magazine or book at hand, then you can take your free time and distract yourself from the unpleasant feeling by reading. If you are near the child, then you can play with him. In this case, you will not only save yourself from boredom, but also the baby. Scientists have found that the only way to overcome boredom is to fill your life with interesting and meaningful events.

Just rest

The second cause of boredom, which is much more common than the first, is physical exhaustion. It is precisely because your emotional state has been undermined by fatigue that everything seems unpleasant and indifferent to you. Interesting and exciting events in this case can only aggravate everything, therefore, in this case, it is necessary to resort to a slightly different way to solve this problem. The ideal solution in this situation is to simply relax. You can just sleep in, or you can sign up for activities that can stabilize your psyche, such as a spa, swimming pool or yoga.

Lack of communication

Very often we are faced with a situation where a loved one leaves us for a while. Man is a social creature, so the need for communication in some individuals is in the first place. How not to miss a person with whom it is good and pleasant to communicate, if he is currently at a far distance from you?

First of all, try to distract yourself from thoughts concerning this person. We live and work among people, so try to communicate as much as possible with colleagues, neighbors or just strangers. Of course, this cannot replace a person who is dear to you, but for a while it can easily distract from boredom.

How not to miss your loved one

And everything is very simple. You need to find a hobby you like and spend as much time on it as possible. Distracted by a hobby, you will gradually begin to notice that time goes much faster. Refresh your social circle to match your new interests. Attend mass events that will also help distract from boredom.

You can even make a small diary in which you will paint and analyze every day you live. This is an important step in introspection, which will help you understand why you live. If your loved one left for a while, then the waiting time should be as interesting and exciting as possible. A gloomy look and tears never painted a person, and mental disorders always led to unnecessary emotional outbursts.

In order to understand how not to be bored, it is important to know what you want from life and what you are striving for, because if you do not get it, then the resulting boredom slowly develops into depression, which only a specialist can cure. Now, in order to cope with it, you will need to spend several months or years, so you should not start such an emotional state in yourself. Be always cheerful and cheerful, then your loved one will be glad to see you cheerful and happy.

Loss or parting requires the use of great mental resources, but even after such difficult events, there is an opportunity to find peace, rethink what happened and live in harmony with oneself. Pain and longing are natural manifestations of the human psyche. But if nothing is done to change the mood, these feelings will become more severe. To stop missing a person, it is necessary to deal with the difficulties that arise in the soul and overcome them.

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temporary separation

Psychologists give some advice to those whose friends are far away:

  1. 1. Keep track of the days. The visibility of the overcome path will help to concentrate on the desired approximation of a pleasant meeting. If, day after day, the next date is crossed out in the wall calendar, not forgetting to mentally congratulate yourself on the victory, the expectation will not burden you, it will turn into a kind of “journey” from one point in the time period to another.
  2. 2. To resort to useful small chores. In order not to think about a loved one every minute, it is worth directing more attention to everyday or additional activities and activities. Improving your environment is the best way to distract yourself. It's the right time to wash the windows, change the curtains, green the window sill or the room, renew the facade of the house. Thus, the days of separation will please with something and will not respond with sadness.
  3. 3. Plan a long term project. The severity of waiting is easily compensated by the performance of responsible and long-term work. If it is possible to notify the partner about upcoming plans, this mobilizes all efforts to complete them in anticipation of the general joy of the results.
  4. 4. Use internet communications. Modern methods of communication and information exchange at a distance will help: skype, e-mail, postcards. Every message sent leaves a person waiting for a response. Separation, thus distributed over the segments, will fly by easily and imperceptibly.
  5. 5. Do not reject communication with other people.

Attention and time are valuable resources, and often for some people, surrounded by a family or overly busy person, there is not a free day or hour. Therefore, such a period can be used to visit friends and forgotten acquaintances, distant relatives.

I'm afraid to talk to people

Final parting

There are a number of things to keep in mind when finalizing a breakup:

  1. 1. Allow time to pass to cope with emotions after separation from a loved one. The accumulated negativity must come out before you can begin to live a normal life.
  2. 2. Survive the longing for the stages. To overcome grief more easily, one should navigate through its typical stages: denial, shock, reflection, depression, anger, resignation - each of which will take a longer or shorter period of time. There is no need to rush: the healing of spiritual wounds is an important process, after which something new will begin.
  3. 3. Get rid of painful memories. When difficult emotions have been experienced, care should be taken that nothing from the past reminds of the former relationship. Some personal items that remind of a person who is no longer alive, or of those who have long managed a hot friendship in the past, are best removed from sight, given to loved ones for safekeeping, and some should be thrown away. Friends can provide invaluable support.
  4. 4. Avoid contact with the former partner. If you are sure that the relationship will end, you should not allow ambiguous behavior, messages with the question “how are you? ". When meeting at the place of work or study, an exchange of greetings is enough. And it is better to delete the existing pages in social networks, otherwise it will only get worse.
  5. 5. Let go of a loved one. It is not without reason that there are rituals and farewell ceremonies: from the point of view of psychology, this allows you to develop the right attitude towards a person who has passed away or left forever, to preserve the memory of the best years with gratitude to him for everything beautiful, realizing that the past cannot be returned. A good solution is to allow yourself to write a letter to a person with whom strong feelings were associated, expressing pain, anger, love, informing him of the end of the current state, of farewell and the transition to a new lane of life. But the written letter is not sent.
  6. 6. Start a new relationship. The possibility of dating will appear after all the stages of parting have been completed. Reducing this interval will do harm: the character traits of a new friend may remind you of a former lover. You should spend time with friends, in the family circle, which will help restore strength and again feel your own value and significance. You can seek help from a psychotherapist.
  7. 7. Change habits. If everything has taken its form and “taste” with a former partner, then it is worth purposefully changing established traditions. You do not need to visit your favorite places in the past, ways of entertainment, meet with mutual friends.
  8. 8. Fill the void. The resulting freedom should be used for self-development, work on one’s qualities, if there wasn’t enough time for this before, new things, a career, an unusual hobby (yoga, photography, playing a musical instrument, learning languages).

Each person accumulates and expresses the emotions inherent in his psyche in a way acceptable to him. Someone cries, and someone leaves notes in a personal diary - the embodiment of thoughts on paper helps to realize what is happening in the soul and speed up psychological healing. With strong feelings, one should step back from the public, being content with the circle of closest friends and relatives. With a large number of people, the feeling of fatigue becomes stronger and communication becomes unnatural.

It's always hard to be sad for someone. Whether a loved one left for a short period of time, broke off relations with you, died, or simply moved to another city, the resulting pain and longing are quite normal. To stop missing a person, you need to learn strategies for overcoming the difficulties that have arisen in front of you. With their help, you can continue to move forward, find peace, humble yourself and realize that even if you lose a person, you can continue to remember him.

Steps

Actions in the short term

    Keep track of the days. Cross off the past days on the calendar and each time congratulate yourself on the next day you have lived. Always focus exclusively on the current day. The absence of a loved one will change the course of your life somewhat. When you are forced to manage everything alone, it is very important to focus on successfully getting through each new day!

    Focus on other relationships. Time is a very valuable commodity. Now you have enough time to pay attention to other close people who are also important to you, but with whom you do not spend quality time as often as you would like. For example, you can spend more time with your partner, spouse, friends, and extended family.

    Send parcels. Prepare and send parcels to the person who has left. Every purchase you make for that person will give you an opportunity to think about them, do something for them, and then lovingly mail them. If your spouse has left and you have children with him, set aside one free evening during the week to draw pictures and make crafts with your children that can be included in the package for your other half.

    Spend time doing small things. Doing chores around the house is a healthy distraction that also helps improve your environment. Concentrate on doing those things that will make time fly by quickly. Some days may be harder than others, but you will always find something to do at home.

    • For example, on vacation in the absence of a roommate, you can ennoble your living space. Do something that the returning person will be very pleased to see. Even simple cleaning and systematization of things will bear fruit. You will occupy yourself with a business that will have a positive effect on the condition of the room.
    • Get indoor flowers to fill the living space with vitality.
    • Wash windows. No one likes to look at the view from the window through the dirty glass. In a clear window, the view will seem noticeably better.
    • Paint the rusted fence.
    • Lubricate creaking doors, fix leaking faucets, or send in broken items for repairs.
    • Take care of the appearance of the facade of your house. If you plant flowers along the path to the house or put a beautiful plant in a pot on the porch, your mood will noticeably improve.
  1. Start a long-term project. There are always things that require a lot of time and effort to complete. If you have enough time, consider initiating a project that you will be engaged in until the very return of a loved one. This way, you will both look forward to seeing the final results of your work, and you will have to constantly strive to fulfill your promise.

    • If your wife is sent on a long business trip, tell her that you are planning to build a wooden gazebo in the backyard.
    • If you have children, start doing a project with them that will help you all get through the period of absence of a loved one together.
    • Start the orchard you've always wanted to have.
    • Start saving money for a good cause or for an important purchase for your spouse. Progress reports will help her know that you miss her, love her, and are looking forward to being home.
  2. Consider ways to communicate when apart. Communicate via Skype, email, letters or postcards. These means of communication are preferable to others, since a person always remains in anticipation of the next contact. When you write a letter to your loved one, you feel closer to him, and getting a response gives you a feeling of admiration. Positive emotions distributed over time help to endure separation more easily.

    Don't be lazy and stay active. Do not wander aimlessly around the house and do not lie in bed. Spend more time outdoors with friends. Try to stick to a comfortable schedule, including spending time doing something exciting, so you can look forward to the future.

    Focus on the positive. Breaking up a relationship can make you remember all the bad things about them. On the contrary, try to identify positive aspects in past relationships and understand what they taught you in order to use the lessons learned in the future. Know how to appreciate the experience gained.

Coping with the death of a loved one

    Allow yourself to grieve. If you are faced with the death of a loved one, then you need to grieve for some time to come to terms with this fact. You won't be able to stop missing the person if you don't give yourself time to calm down, release your emotions, and mourn the loss.

    Appreciate the memory of the person. This is how you will begin to move forward in life in a healthy way, preserving the memory of the person and continuing his legacy. Talk about the deceased with friends and family members, try to follow the traditions that this person followed, whether it was volunteering, reading books to your children, or listening to that person's favorite music.

    • If the activities that the deceased person loved increase your sadness and longing, make changes to your usual routine. However, once you're ready to quietly move on with your life, return to the things that your departed lover loved. This way you can refresh the good memories of the person and not start missing them too much.
    • Remember that you are not trying to forget the person and never think about them again. You learn to remember a person in a positive way, to control the feelings you experience and to put everything in its place.
  1. Talk to other people who also miss this person. It is wrong to no longer mention a person at all and to get rid of everything that reminds of him completely. However, these measures can be introduced temporarily if you are in great pain. Over time, you will be able to talk more calmly about the deceased. Sometimes sadness can be alleviated and healing of spiritual wounds can be accelerated by remembering funny phrases and actions of a deceased person.

    • Tender memories of a person can help you come to terms with the fact that he died. Even though a person cannot be brought back to life, discussing memories will help in the process of healing the wound.
  2. Remember that your relationship has not ended, but has changed its form. Relationships include two components: physical and emotional. Despite the fact that the physical component of the relationship was cut off, the emotional component continues to exist. You can never completely stop remembering a dead person.

    • Of course, you don't betray a person by trying not to miss them. If he loved you, she will be glad to see that you are trying to continue living on.
    • It is impossible not to miss a person at all, especially on anniversaries, holidays and other important events that you spent together. Instead of trying to ignore the feeling of loss, tell yourself or others, “I miss ____ today. He would love to be at our event. Let's remember ____. We love him." By doing this, you will confirm the influence of the deceased person on current events and pay tribute to him, which will further help heal the pain of loss.
    • It's okay to get bored from time to time, but it's also okay to want to enjoy the present life instead of dwelling on the past.
  3. Spend more time with friends and family. Friends and family will be ready to give you support and help cheer you up during difficult times. They, too, may experience grief, so you can lean on each other and start spending more time together to fill your free hours and feel loved and cared for. During this period, you just need to feel love and affection, so spending time in the company of people close to you will help alleviate sadness for the deceased.

    • However, new friends and other relatives will never replace the place of a deceased person in your soul.
    • If you notice that one of your friends or relatives is recovering from grief faster than you, do not be discouraged. Everyone emerges from grief on their own schedule. And you can't know exactly how the other person actually feels.
  4. Consider contacting a psychotherapist. If you need outside help in coping with grief, see a therapist. If you're unsure if a therapy is right for you, try it first and then make your final decision. Discussing your situation with a trained professional will allow you to look at it differently. Find the courage to ask for help in order to survive the challenges of fate.

    • Be proud that you dared to seek help that would be beneficial to your condition. You should not be ashamed and consider yourself a weak person because you have resorted to therapy.
  5. Record your thoughts in a diary. Instead of trying to weigh all the feelings that arise in your mind during the day, try pouring them into the pages of a diary. Keep a diary every morning or every evening to become more aware of your condition and relieve unnecessary stress. You can also record thoughts in a diary as they arise. Choose the option that suits you best.

    Find yourself a soothing activity. With the loss of a loved one, sometimes people get so hung up on the loss and personality of the deceased that they completely forget about themselves. In order to start missing a person less, you must do the daily activities that will help you feel better. That is, you should sleep at least 7-8 hours at night, eat three meals a day, even if you do not feel like eating, and devote at least 30 minutes of physical activity daily.

  • Take up sports, such as running or playing basketball.
  • Try picking up a new hobby: photography, painting, or cooking.
  • Sign up for interesting classes, like workshops on writing or pairing wine with food the right way.
  • Rediscover your love of literature. Read everything that you wanted to, but did not have a chance to read before.
  • Find new types of exercise that suit you. Cycling, hiking and yoga will fill your time and make you feel great.
  • Open your heart to other people. Make an effort to become friendlier to other people. Invite new friends to meet again. At first, you may be shy, but gradually you will get to know others better and better. Smile, be friendly and open to the people you meet along the way.

    • Start the conversation with a few simple questions. Tell something funny about yourself or share funny observations. If you try a little bit, then you will have more friends, and you will miss the person who left less.
    • However, you can never replace someone who left. He was and will be important to you. Just try to focus on meeting new interesting people to make your life more dynamic.
    • Give other people a chance. With people you used to be skeptical of, you may have more in common than you think. If you spend some time with them, you may find that you enjoy their company.
    • Laughter is the best medicine. Although it is normal to grieve after a loss, you should not lose heart, for which it will be a good idea to find yourself a good company.
    • Try to have some fun to take your mind off things.
    • Don't be afraid to cry. There is nothing wrong with crying, it is even useful, as it allows accumulated emotions to come out.
    • Look at photos and letters or notes sent to you by a loved one. However, set yourself a time limit for this action so as not to dwell on thoughts about this person.
    • Don't think about old fights and bad times. Stay positive.
    • If you need to stop thinking about someone, tell yourself, “Stop. I'm not going to think about him anymore now. I have so many things to do, so I better think about them.” Try to take your mind off this person.
    • Remember the funny moments you had together and hope to experience something similar again.
    • The past cannot be returned, so focus on securing a colorful, fulfilling future for yourself.

    Warnings

    • Prolonged grief can lead to various physical and psychological problems. Learn to overcome grief by using information on the topic from trusted sources. Do not deny yourself the need to mourn the lost relationship, but be able to leave the pain of loss in the past.

    How not to get bored, proven ways and methods of boredom methods for boredom in this article.

    Boredom It is a feeling that only humans can experience. Animals do not know it - in a state of inactivity, they feel quite comfortable. And we begin to get bored, for example, when there is nothing to do or if we are tired of everything and we are lonely.

    Doctors say: in order not to be bored, the human brain constantly needs fresh impressions, just as the body is nourished. As soon as the novelty disappears, we “get sick” with boredom. Of course, no one has yet died from it (although they are threatened), but it is impossible to deny: this feeling is the source of many problems. The endless New Year's weekend is the perfect time for frenzy or bouts of depression "because it's boring." But there are many ways to overcome this destructive state of mind.

    In order not to be bored, fill the pause!

    Are you an active person? You love it when life is filled with events, impressions, but suddenly, in this exciting bustle, an unexpected stop appears. For example, a flight is delayed and you have to wait. Or you have to stand in an impressive line at the embassy. Minute after minute passes, nothing happens. It gets boring just thinking about how much time you have to spend waiting. But there is a way out - to introduce a purpose or meaning into this dull process. For once, you have free time, “minutes of idleness”. Maybe this is a chance to try something new or something that you usually denied yourself?

    If you are alone at the time of the forced stop, read a book or magazine. If you wait with your child, play together - for him, these are moments of joy. And if you are with your loved one, there is a chance to feel him nearby, calmly look into his eyes, just be together, without running around and fussing. An active person will definitely find something to do with himself.

    Boredom cannot be overcome by filling life with interesting events to the eyeballs!

    Arthur Schopenhauer spoke sharply on this subject, but aptly: “An intelligent person, alone, will find excellent entertainment in his thoughts and imagination, while even a continuous change of interlocutors, performances, trips and amusements will not protect the dullard from the boredom that torments him” .

    Relax friend, you're tired!

    Boredom can be caused by physical or mental exhaustion.. It is because of fatigue that we lose the freshness of feelings - everything around becomes insipid and colorless. Physical exhaustion narrows opportunities, deprives of much that makes life enjoyable. And if you decide that boredom can be overcome with a new dose of interesting activities, take your time. The condition will not improve from this: fatigue can turn into exhaustion, and boredom will only intensify. The safest thing in such a situation is to recognize that it is time to rest.

    First, get some sleep. "People don't realize the importance of sleep and the consequences of lack of sleep", says Carl Hahn, MD, National Sleep Disorders Research Center. According to studies, even a small lack of sleep (7-8 hours a week) can lead to depression, bouts of weakness and a persistent unwillingness to have fun.

    Secondly, use easy and affordable ways of mental self-regulation.
    : water procedures (sign up in the pool), spa for the whole day, yoga or qigong. Get out into nature more often, enjoy the silence or just change the scenery. And if you don’t want relapses, come up with an unusual holiday, for example, a wizard’s day and gather friends
    make rest a habit. Then you will definitely have enough strength to lead an active lifestyle!

    Chat so you don't get bored!

    Man, whatever one may say, is a social creature, which means that we are all more comfortable being among people. Few people are able to endure a hermit existence, and most often there must be very serious personal reasons for this. So if you feel like life is boring due to lack of communication start making connections.

    Pay attention: during the day you are almost never alone, there are a lot of people around - passers-by, colleagues, neighbors, casual acquaintances, friends, relatives. The chance of finding a soul mate is very high.

    Make a list of your interests and hobbies. Think about what events related to them you could attend. A photography exhibition, a jazz or rock concert, a film festival - any place where you usually feel comfortable will do. Once among the people, choose the person you like, as if by chance, be next to him and take an interest in his opinion about what is happening. This light, unobtrusive communication, which may be of interest to both of you, does not oblige either you or your interlocutor to anything.

    If you find common ground, perhaps a friend will appear or a romance will begin. In any case, you will be rewarded with a few minutes of conversation with a like-minded person, and you will certainly not be bored.

    Everyone has to do monotonous and monotonous work from time to time. But sometimes life itself begins to resemble a vicious circle, consisting of home and work, with occasional breaks for going to the movies or meeting friends. In a word, a well-oiled, safe, but immensely boring mechanism.

    French writer Albert Camus defined this condition very accurately: Boredom is the result of a mechanical life, but it also sets the mind in motion., and the Russian philosopher Nikolai Berdyaev considered: "Boredom is overcome only by creativity".

    Try to turn a painful attitude into an incentive that will make you move forward, come up with something unusual on the go. There is always room for something new in life, even when you go the same way to work. For example, you can change the route a little, pay attention to those who make this journey with you every morning, watch how the windows of a pretty shop with gifts are decorated, dream up “how would I decorate it”. Finding fresh experiences is easier than you think!

    Bring more variety to your life with the help of creative actions: change your hair, rearrange your apartment, re-paste boring wallpapers. At work, every day change the picture on the computer monitor in accordance with the momentary mood. Come up with an unusual holiday - for example, Wizard's Day or Orange Cocktail Party, gather friends, play with them, organize a competition.

    Try something unusual for yourself. Remember and fulfill some old dream: skydiving, traveling to an exotic country, opening your own friends only exhibition. It is creative hobbies that help overcome dissatisfaction with the monotony of life, develop creativity and self-confidence. Remember: external changes often entail internal ones. And if everything around starts to move, it will be hard for you to get bored!

    Reevaluate to get rid of boredom.

    If thoughts regularly visit that you are not busy with what you want, you do not do what you like, and everything around seems unnecessary (and useless), you may have experienced a period of so-called existential boredom. It is directly related to the concepts of the meaning of life and uselessness Dealing with these feelings on your own is not easy, and many people need support and sometimes counseling in this situation.

    First, think: where did this feeling come from? Perhaps you stopped thinking and taking care of yourself, forgot that you live not only for the sake of duty, other people, or to remain correct and good. In the words of popular American rock guitarist Frank Vincent Zappa: “If you always listened to your mom and dad, school teachers, priests and some uncle on TV, and now you lead a boring and unhappy life because of this, then you clearly deserve it”. A little differently, but in essence, the German psychoanalyst Otto Fenichel wrote about the same thing: “Boreddom appears when we cannot do what we want to do, or must do what we do not want to do.” If both statements apply to you, conduct an "audit" of life.

    Think about what you usually do, how you spend your time, how often you allow yourself to do what you like, what fascinates you. Are you sacrificing your life to the expectations of others or to the same sense of duty? Doesn't that take away your joy? After all, life can become harmonious only if you exist in harmony with yourself. Learn to love and understand yourself, to live with your own goals, interests and feelings, abandoning imposed roles and stereotypes. Only then will opportunities for change and growth open up. And you can start with a book by a German psychologist Ute Edhad « Good girls go to heaven, and bad girls go wherever they want, or why obedience does not bring happiness..

    Drop illusions!

    Everyone probably once dreamed that his life would be like an exciting journey filled with bright achievements, amazing events, interesting work and ideal love. But over time, it turned out that reality does not always meet youthful expectations - it is much more boring and ordinary. Even great love loses color after some time and becomes more prosaic. A person begins to plunge into everyday life, boredom, routine. And it is at this moment that a strong desire may appear to linger in a much more beautiful world of dreams, to live not in real relationships and deeds, but in dreams and fantasies about them.

    On the one hand, illusions in themselves console and make life easier, and the desire for such a perception of reality is an integral feature of our consciousness, because sometimes you really want to take a break from everyday life! On the other hand, fantasies cannot become a full-fledged content of life: they have an unpleasant property to dissipate when they collide with reality. And it takes a certain amount of courage on your part to accept that fact. This is the courage of a more adult, conscious and responsible person who can find other ways to deal with boredom than empty dreams. Grow up, accept life as it is, find charm in it: a beautiful sunrise over the bay, a quiet evening alone with your loved one, the successful completion of a work project that you have been working on all year ... Harvest the fruits of reality, not illusions!)

    
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