Cruel indifference to former lovers Natasha's story is terrible. She shows how indifference that comes after love can roll like a skating rink over the fate of a person who was once close to you. The husband left the family, and so that it was impossible for his ex-wife to live, he left her

Indifference An indifferent person is one who has left us alone once and for all. God, surround us with indifferent people! They under any circumstances remain undemanding to our shortcomings; they ignore our weaknesses and mistakes; they will never interfere with us

Indifference and purposefulness An introvert is able to see and understand the internal processes of a person. This kind of laser was given to him from birth. And from birth, an introverted nature can both hone and tune this laser, being interested in information about people,

In relations between a woman and a man, it happens that a woman is indifferent to a man, but she does not notice this, considering this a temporary phenomenon. Nevertheless, the situation does not change and at some point the relationship is simply interrupted at the initiative of the man.

Why does this happen and how to reveal the indifference of a young man towards himself at the early stages of the development of relationships? Let's figure it out.

So, let's start with the fact that every man needs a sexual discharge, so he tries to find a suitable partner for himself. Moreover, he does this initially out of animal motives, so to speak, and only then, if a woman is good in this regard, he begins to look closely at her and look for other important features.

However, it also happens differently. For example, a young man, looking for a partner suitable for all his standards, does not find one, but he is looking for his way out anyway. Then a man approaches a woman who does not meet his standards, but is more or less suitable for temporary pleasures. And he actively uses it, but a woman sometimes does not even know about it.

It happens like this. A woman, trying to please her boyfriend, indulges him in every possible way, gives gifts, smiles and affection. He behaves neutrally, modest thanks and nothing in return. Having met and received what he needed, he again disappears without a trace, does not call, is not interested and does not show any attempts to develop further perspectives in the relationship.

Naturally, on the one hand, such an attitude upsets a woman, and she, being in love with a young man, herself finds thousands of excuses for him, why this is happening. But the situation does not change over time and everything repeats again and again, although it seems that there are all the prerequisites for creating a normal family and a woman has all the necessary qualities of a good wife.

The whole reason is that no matter how good this woman is, she doesn’t have what this guy needs, something that he is looking for in his. Moreover, it can be anything, from the bust and height, to lifestyle and individual principles.

I must say right away that it is not necessary to remake and forcefully marry such guys, nothing good will come of this, except for disappointment and a final divorce. That's why, pay attention to all the little things straightaway.

Namely:

If a person does not call you, referring to being busy, this indicates that he has plenty of time for other things, and you do not fit into his plans.

If you give a man gifts, and he perceives them coldly and without enthusiasm, then he doesn’t need either you or your gifts, stop spending money on him, he won’t appreciate it anyway, and you will be terribly offended.

If he allows you to discuss with your friends his past love exploits, then this also does not speak in your favor, and does not respect, uses.

If he refuses to be alone with you, without bed games, then he only needs this, and not everything that you want.

If he avoids getting to know relatives or transfers the topic of this to another, it means that his plans do not include the continuation of your relationship and they are temporary.

If a young man does not react to any of your grievances and continues to repeat them, then you are indifferent to him.

If he flirts and flirts with other girls or women in front of you, then he is not averse to changing you for them.

If he doesn’t share his feelings, fears, actions with you, then there is no proper psychological closeness between you.

If a man frankly treats you under the name of a friend, then you are for him, only a friend, nothing more.

If he does not respond to your claims, saying that everything is nonsense, and trying to blame everything on you. That responsibility for your relationship, he is ready to put on you, and when it suits him, he will break them, blaming you again.

Relationships are not a static subject. Emotions change, flow into each other. A person to whom we have been indifferent for a long time suddenly becomes an object of adoration. In the same way, the love ardor of the first meetings can eventually be replaced by indifference. The problem of many girls is that they do not notice the changes in time, remaining in the illusion that they are still passionately loved.

Let's try to figure out how to define indifference, its causes and possible ways to overcome it.

1. He is not interested in your life. If stories about the past day's affairs and impressions do not arouse any interest in him, this may serve as a signal of indifference to you. If at the same time you notice signs of outright irritation, indifference, most likely, has entered an advanced stage. With pleasure, men listen to stories about the life of only their loved ones and those who arouse their sympathy.
2. He doesn't miss you, for a long time apart, he does not call, does not write SMS and messages on social networks. If, during a new meeting or during a phone call, he speaks to you as if you never parted, he may not remember you, and this is a sign of indifference.
3. He systematically prefers other things to communication with you. Yes, from time to time he can choose to meet friends or go to a bar - this is normal. But if he is always ready for any other event, and meeting with you is the last option in the absence of others, you are definitely not in the first roles in his life.
4. He shows no desire to let you into the circle of his family. If your chosen one considers you as his future partner, he will certainly want to introduce you to his loved ones. If he avoids such meetings, perhaps you are a temporary, transient phenomenon for him, and he does not consider you seriously.
5. He doesn't look you in the eye. This sign should be viewed with caution, the person may look away due to shyness or embarrassment. But in other cases, not wanting to look a girl in the eye means a lack of interest.
6. Does not want to have joint photos, does not show interest in your photos. If you don't get any emotional feedback when you submit your photo, it's likely that your image isn't important to him.
7. He is not jealous at all. Jealousy means that a man perceives you as his woman, cherishes you. Jealousy can be considered a manifestation of any indifferent reaction to your communication with other attractive men. Even the emphasized approval of such communication can be a sign of latent jealousy. If your partner does not show jealousy at all, this means that you are indifferent to him, and he is not afraid to part with you.
8. Doesn't say "we". When talking on the phone with close friends or relatives, people in a relationship tend to unconsciously say "we" instead of "I". “We are going to the cinema” or “when we went to the sea”. If a young man in such cases speaks exclusively "I", this indicates that he does not have the concept that he is in a relationship with you.

If you have already encountered half of the listed signs, you should be alarmed. If more than half - indifferent attitude can be stated as a fact. In this case, it is worth understanding the reasons for such an attitude and, if the situation is irreparable, terminate such a relationship.

Causes

Consider the main possible reasons for the indifference of a man to a woman:

• Perhaps his thoughts are occupied by another girl. Even a fleeting infatuation can make a man focus on a new object of affection. In this case, he may lose interest in the former girl.
• Sometimes girls show excessive dependence on their lover. This is mistake. In this case, the man ceases to perceive the girl as his "prey" and loses interest in her conquest. In addition, excessive attachment always causes a repulsive effect.
• Indifference may appear as a result of too serious intentions on the part of the girl. Men are more inert in relation to creating a family and strong relationships, they take such decisions longer than girls. Too certain family prospects can be intimidating from the very beginning.
• Many men are repelled by the excessive emotionality of girls, a tendency to aggression, conflicts and tantrums. If your chosen one is not ready for such a temperamental, exhausting relationship, perhaps indifference will appear as a protective reaction from unpleasant experiences.
• Indifference can appear as a result of long monotonous relationships. Daily routine, lack of creativity and play in life contribute to the fact that feelings are dulled and can eventually cool down completely.
• The state of lack of interest in girls may appear after a negative past experience. Even two failed relationships following each other can lead a man to the conclusion that the relationship is not for him at all. He may start acting like he's not interested in girls at all.
• A man can be absorbed in other matters, serious matters or problems can temporarily push the girl into the background. As a rule, in everyday worries there is always a moment for your girlfriend, but if things are really urgent, this can take all the attention of a man for a while.

What to do with indifference

Having dealt with the possible reasons, you need to try to determine the prospects for the development of relations. If indifference is unshakable by any effort, then, most likely, you are not suitable for each other. You should also find an even and calm attitude towards this person as soon as possible.

If the situation does not last long and is fixable, consider the following tips:

1. In the event that indifference is caused by factors not related to the girl, whether it is preoccupation with work, solving some urgent problems, it is worth leaving the young man alone and giving him time. It is advisable not to interfere with him, not to pester him with questions. As soon as he finishes his business, his attitude will be the same.
2. Sometimes a serious conversation helps solve the problem. In the course of a confidential conversation, you can find out if the indifference is caused by you, current affairs, or the appearance of another girl.
3. If indifference is the result of a girl's obsessive attitude, she should learn to step back a little. Even if you are crazy about your man, you should not show it. Easy inaccessibility, maintaining a certain distance will give the relationship an intrigue that will keep the partner's attention.

"Difficulties in translation" in the relationship between a man and a woman

• A woman is characterized by great impulsiveness in the manifestation of emotions, their feelings are most often easily and unmistakably “read”. Women often expect the same from men. Therefore, not seeing violent emotional outbursts, girls can conclude that their lover is indifferent to them.
• Individual features should not be discounted either. Education or phlegmatic character can affect the behavior of a young man in such a way that he will not give out even strong sympathy.
• For the male psyche, prolonged intense emotions are stressful. They do not last long, so the phase of passionate love soon gives way to a more relaxed attitude. And although it can also be love, a girl can recognize it as indifference.
• Women and men solve problems differently. A feature of male psychology is that in problem situations he needs to be alone, be silent, think. The unwillingness to communicate at these moments by women is often mistaken for an indifferent attitude.
• The behavior of older men differs from that of young men. Over time, men become more restrained and their emotions become more and more difficult to "unravel".

If, after analyzing the situation, excluding possible distortions of female perception, you still come to the conclusion that a man is indifferent to you, this means that further attempts to change this, alas, are doomed. You have to come to terms with this.

Every person at least once in his life experienced what an unrequited feeling is. Such a defeat can be a blow to self-esteem, but it will only make you stronger and wiser, give you experience.

Why does a woman fall in love, tryna do something for relations, develops them, introduces a man to his relatives, dreams of wedding etc., and the man is indifferent to all this? And why does it happen that when a woman has already “burned out” in relation to a man, he suddenly begins to be active and literally besiege the woman, harassing her with his signs of attention, courtship and proposals for a serious relationship?

Letters describing similar situations and questions when a woman seems to like a man, but he doesn’t do anything special, they come to me stably one a week.

So what's the deal? Why do men act like this? Why do they show such indifference to relationships with the woman they like?

There are two main reasons for such situations:
- men's emotions develop much more slowly than women's;
- after a while, a woman’s strong love disappears, she reduces her activity, and finally a man can feel like a hunter. it is important for a man to feel stronger, conquer a woman, see her weakness and “save” her, help, etc.
(The third reason, that a woman was mistaken in that a man likes her, I will not describe in this article).

Now in order.

Law male psychology says the following. A man matures MUCH slower for a serious relationship than a woman.

If on an example, then the almost standard situation is when:
- A woman thinks that after the first or second meeting, the man has already decided that he likes her, and he will definitely call tomorrow. In fact, a man still thinks, is determined and chooses.

After the third or fifth goodbye the woman already believes that they have a serious enough relationship to show her boyfriend to her friends, relatives, etc. The man, on the other hand, thinks that he has only more or less decided that he is ready to date a woman, but he is unpleasantly surprised when he is asked to meet the woman's friends and parents. (Few men like "bridesmaids" in general, and almost everyone dislikes brides ahead of time).

The woman thinks that the man wants to marry her, and the man only thinks that he is ready to meet his girlfriend's relatives and friends. He hadn't even begun to think about getting married.

Such a discrepancy in the speed of development of emotions can sometimes cause severe conflicts between a man and a woman and disappointment in a woman in her chosen one.
Yes, this is understandable if a woman already chooses Wedding Dress, and the man only thinks that he will have a permanent girlfriend or he needs to look for another, then the conflict is inevitable.

What to do? Of course, sometimes a man can and should be pushed to the next stage of a relationship, sometimes you can pull, sometimes hit harder than that (a joke, of course, but in every joke, as you know, there is some truth). However, the main strategy is as follows.
You need to understand that men develop much more slowly (even in childhood and adolescence boys are seriously lagging behind in development), calmly wait for their actions and support the slightest initiative and manifestation of activity in any form. But, as I have repeatedly written in my books and on the Solar Hands website, you don’t need to actively take the initiative yourself.

What does it look like in practice?
If we take the very beginning of a relationship, when a man meets a girl he likes, he takes the initiative and finds out her phone number or where she works. After such a meeting, a woman expects something like the following.
Once a man took the phone, it means that he already likes her. But, firstly, it is not at all necessary that this is so. (Men take the phone for a variety of reasons. Maybe on a bet, maybe develops self confidence and courage in dealing with women, maybe a dozen more reasons). Secondly, men rarely call the next day, because men, as I said, are emotional slow-witted.
In order for him to understand that he really likes a girl, he needs not several hours, but several days, and sometimes even more than a week. That's why, first, don't expect a man to call you back at all.
if a man took the phone, then he does not necessarily like the woman.

Second, and no less important, don't expect a man to call you back the next day. Just by removing your misunderstanding expectations male psychology, you can achieve very, very much at once.

First, you will be able to keep your high self-esteem. After all, if you understand that men often do not call back, then, accordingly, you don’t worry a bit about this (well, or one drop, no more). It doesn't matter how beautiful or smart a woman is. Any woman periodically does not call back, and it's not about women, but about men.

Secondly, you will not be upset that the man did not call back on the first day, and then be disappointed in the man. And then, if the man did call back, then your good mood, not head over heels in love during the long wait and beside herself with anger, a woman.

And, accordingly, if a man calls and hears a woman who is not going to fall in love with him (at first he must earn and achieve your love) and is not angry with him (a man will never understand why you are angry with him anyway), then the probability building normal relationships increases significantly.

The next stage of the relationship and, accordingly, the next example.
A woman falls in love with a man and begins to show her signs of falling in love.
demonstrating love at the first stage of a relationship is a huge mistake. After all, the law says that a man falls in love much longer

and, accordingly, a situation is obtained when a woman is already in love, but a man is not yet.

Sad situation. She is described in many classic books, the most famous of which is Eugene Onegin, where Tatyana writes a letter to Onegin: “I love you, what else can I say. Now I know that it is in your will to punish me with contempt, etc.” The ending is known and natural.

But with my help, you will now become much wiser. Now you know that falling in love with men too quickly is not worth it, and even more so, you should not show signs of falling in love. (This does not mean that you do not need to flirt, somehow show that you like a man, this is not about that. We are talking about the fact that at the beginning of a relationship a man must win you over, achieve your respect, perform deeds and some feats .

The rule of communication with men here is very simple. Measure your feelings with the feelings of a man. If a man likes you, and he shows it, then you can also show that you like him. If a man is ready to leave other women and be only with you, then also leave flirting with other men. If a man is in love, then you can also show him that you are in love.

Just do not need to write long letters (SMS messages) about love to your chosen one. A man is arranged differently, and love letters are unlikely to have an impact on him, rather only a negative one. If you really want to write, then write (better to say, not write) what kind of hero he is, what you like about him, how he did something, and you became happy from it. But it's better to tear up love letters.

So, don't fall in love with a man before he falls in love with you. Don't fall in love with a man too quickly. And if the process of love itself is difficult to fully control, then it is quite possible to slow it down and reduce its intensity. (If necessary, of course, but usually necessary).

And again about the initiative. As I already wrote, the second reason that the relationship does not develop, and then the man suddenly begins to show activity, is that the woman ceases to take the initiative.

The law of male psychology here is this:
A man does not want a woman's love just like that. He wants to achieve this love and make his woman happy..

In many ways, I will repeat what I wrote earlier in other articles and above, but repetition is usually very useful.

If you have read my articles and books before, you probably already understood that a man does not need a woman's love as such, just like that. He needs to achieve this love, he needs to somehow help a woman so that she falls in love with him. He needs to do something so that the woman is amazed and understands what a man is a hero and, accordingly, falls in love with him after that.

That is, of course, a man wants a woman's love, but he just doesn't need love. He needs to achieve this love.

Consequently, when a woman falls in love with a man, her stranglehold and initiative towards him weakens. And then, finally, a liberated man sighs deeply and can begin to conquer a woman and act. Well, the fact that this man is no longer interesting to a woman is already his problem. Let him try hard, maybe everything will work out.

In this article, I will not describe in detail the initiative and the smallest details in which it manifests itself. But the main thing that can and should be learned is to give activity to a man, and everything in your relationship will develop much more naturally.

Summing up. If a man did nothing when a woman was in love with him, and then, when she stopped liking him, he suddenly began a “siege”, then usually the main reason is that a woman does not take into account one of the most important features of the psyche of men - low speed the emergence of emotions and failure to take initiative in a relationship from a woman.

Use this knowledge in relationships with men, and these relationships will become much easier to develop and will be much stronger.