A beautiful love story between a Tajik and a Russian. Mixed marriages in Tajikistan: pros and cons

Families in Tajikistan, unlike European families, are usually very large. Several generations of relatives live under one roof, observing a strict hierarchy among themselves. Relationships are built primarily on unquestioning obedience to the owner of the house and respect for elders.

A woman in the Tajik family has a special role. On the one hand, the mother is the mistress of the house and the wife of the head of the family, but on the other hand, she unquestioningly fulfills any will of her husband and his parents. Despite such an unacceptable attitude for European women, it still cannot be called discrimination.

After all, these relationships have evolved over the centuries. And having gone through many trials, sometimes in difficult local conditions, the understanding of the correctness of such relations has only strengthened. The age for marriage of girls is considered to be 13-14 years. And, despite the law, according to which girls must wait until they come of age, behind the scenes marriages are still concluded.

Marriage bonds are fixed by the Imam, not by the registry office. The life of Tajiks is determined by Islam. Religion is felt in everything: in everyday life, in traditions, in relationships, in art and in raising children. Ceremonies play a special role, especially weddings. The registry office is visited only at will, but the Nikah ceremony, which is performed by the local mullah, is mandatory.

Without this, the marriage will not be considered a marriage, and the children will be illegitimately born. The bride wears seven scarves on her head. Mula speaks water, and the bride must drink it. Forty days after the wedding, the young wife walks in a national costume.

Everyone is invited to the wedding: relatives, friends, colleagues and even just acquaintances. The wedding takes place in several stages: at the beginning of the bride's house, then in the groom's house, then a general wedding and a walk for friends and colleagues. The most modest weddings are attended by 500 people.

Circumcisions, the birth of a child and many other memorable events are also magnificently celebrated. For Tajiks, it is very important that the tables are filled, and there is not a single empty seat. And it doesn’t matter that the food remains, it is important that it be in abundance. Everything is led by the elders, and the young only perform.

Traditionally, it should be a bride price (bride price). There is a certain list of what newlyweds should take from their parents. Most often, “dowry” begins to be collected from the birth of a child. In general, young people are completely dependent on their parents.

After all, getting married very early, they really still do not understand much. And even if the young suddenly do not like something, they will remain silent. The older ones are wiser and know what is right. This is how children are raised.

Polygamy is not uncommon in Tajikistan. Officially, of course, polygamy is prohibited, but in practice it is not at all uncommon. Of course, there is no registration, but still the first, and the second, and maybe the third are called the wife.

In rural areas, girls do not complete more than eight grades. After all, according to tradition, a woman does not need to be educated at all. Her destiny is to be a wife and mother.

For Tajik girls, it is very scary and shameful to be a "peregrine". Not getting married on time is worse than the worst nightmare. A Tajik woman must always be silent. Without the permission of her husband or mother-in-law, she has no right to go outside.

Only women are engaged in housekeeping. It is shameful for a man to do such work. According to tradition, for the first six months, a young wife cannot leave her husband's house, and in no case should she visit her parents.

A lot of business affairs are assigned to her at once. She is completely subordinate in everything to her mother-in-law and to all other older relatives, but first of all to her husband.

According to the wedding tradition, the bride should cry. This is how it is with all weddings.

Tajiks themselves are very beautiful. They have beautiful dark eyes of an unusual shape. National clothes: a dress and trousers under this dress are made of beautiful fabric.

Tajik families are filled with children. There are as many as God gives. From an early age, babies are very active and independent. They are friends with large companies, and most importantly, they are brought up in traditions from childhood.

The older guys take care of the younger ones, the younger ones obey the elders and go everywhere together. Big children carry small ones, middle ones themselves run after the older ones.

By themselves, children are very sociable and active. From a very young age, they help their family. Quickly and willingly carry out any instructions of adults. Easily cope with livestock and numerous household chores.

Children do not live separately, they fully participate in family life. Tajiks do not put children to sleep, do not force them to eat, do not hide adult affairs from them. Children live the same way as adults: they obey their elders, work like adults and are responsible for their actions.

Tajiks are very hospitable people. A guest is always a great joy for them. Any owner considers it his duty to treat the guest deliciously. Each house has a large room called "Mehmonhona", designed specifically for receiving guests. It always has a special place of honor for the main guest.

Tajiks sit on the floor, covered with beautiful carpets and mattresses stuffed with cotton or cotton, which are called kurpaches. According to their rules, you can not sit with your legs extended forward or to the side. Lying down is also indecent.

A tablecloth called “dostarkhan” is laid on the floor. Before and after the feast, prayer, thanksgiving and praise to the Almighty are obligatory. Tajiks have their own ritual, different from other Muslims.

Tea plays a big role in feasts. The youngest man pours it. They drink, as is customary, from a bowl, which must be taken only with the right hand, and the left hand should be kept on the right side of the chest. Tajiks can also afford alcohol.

An interesting fact is that the pourer pours the first bowl of any drink not to someone, but to himself. All this is just a custom, so that others are convinced that there is no poison in the drink. For the invited guest, Tajiks will definitely cook pilaf. In ordinary everyday life, the eldest of the family takes food first, but when there is a guest in the house, this honor is given to the guest.

Women eat separately at the other end of the house. They are not allowed to enter the premises during the feast of men. Any stranger who wants to communicate with a woman must definitely ask permission from her husband or the owner of the house. Tajik men never walk around the house in night clothes or bare-chested.

If the owner is not at home, but a guest has arrived, the wife is obliged to invite him to the house. But a man should not go there. It is forbidden for strangers to communicate with a woman in the absence of her husband, father, or other male relative.

Tajiks are very fond of giving gifts. They will never come to visit without gifts. In general, Tajik men are very generous. They are breadwinners for their family and it is important for them that there is enough for everyone in the house. But the most important thing for them is the opinion of neighbors, friends and relatives. They strive to maintain excellent relationships and a good opinion of themselves.

For Tajiks, the family is the basis of their life. They work for the family, they boast of the family. Everything described above is an image of a traditional Tajik family. In the modern world, many began to build their lives in the image of the West. However, there are still many families who value their traditions.

I witnessed an ugly (in my opinion) scene, when at the bus stop under a canopy 4 young Tajiks were lounging on chairs (working at a construction site), and 2 elderly women were standing in the rain. None of those seated even made an attempt to give them a seat. On what traditions are modern Tajiks brought up? Do you get the impression that when crossing the Russian border, visitors from Central Asia have only instincts?

• Who can protect us women from such a boorish attitude of migrants?

Because they have arrived from another culture. It would be strange to approach them accordingly with our standards, with our traditions. Of course, women should give way. Of course, you can not sit when a woman is standing next to you. And a dozen different others "of course." But the thing is, it's only for us Europeans, these things and in general all this behavior is taken for granted. Granted. And the usual rules of courtesy - they us familiar because it European rules. The countries of Central Asia have completely different traditions. To start at least with the fact that they were brought up, from childhood, on Islam, and not on Christianity. A woman in Islam is a second-class creature and often has no rights at all. Yes, it seems wild to us - well, it is us it seems so. And they grew up on this, and it seems strange to them just is our attitude, our traditions, our moral standards. We consider it indecent to burp at the table and lick your fingers - and in the East not to burp after a meal and not lick your fingers will be a sign of disrespect for the owner: he fed the guests badly, tastelessly. And which tradition is "correct"? No, both have the right to exist. In one culture, one tradition is more familiar, in another, another. Returning to the mentioned Tajiks: the fact that they did not give way to a woman does not at all mean some kind of conscious neglect, conscious disrespect, or something like that. They just didn't think of it. This is not rude at all - this is ignorance. They have in Tajikistan, like many other places, this is how they live. It is impossible to instantly adjust to a foreign culture, despite the fact that the initial level of education of those who go to Russia to earn money in jobs that are not the most prestigious, we must agree, is also low. Moreover, no one is specifically engaged in such an "educational program" - neither from their side, nor from ours. Well, what do you want from yesterday's dekhans?

It seems to me completely wrong to judge the whole nation by 4 people. Is it possible to talk about the whole nation if you met only those of its representatives who did not find application for their mind, knowledge, skills in their homeland and left to work in another country? And even they are all different, not to mention all the people. If you think like this, then foreigners have the right to judge negatively about the entire Russian people, seeing tourists reveling in freebies in Turkey, or to judge, meeting criminal subjects, or to judge all the women of Russia by individual priestesses of love, who simply flooded some countries. You should never generalize. Well, now, in essence, these 4 people of eastern nationality, who could very well be Tajiks, most likely did not give way to women because they did not receive proper education in their family. By the way, I was here in Russia just now, so not a single man gave me a seat and did not help with a heavy suitcase.)

How Tajiks treat Russian girls

Vladlena is dating a Tajik. The guy is very well-mannered and delicate. But the Russian girl has doubts: what if the relationship of the Tajik is not so right?

From the first lines of this publication, I have to remind you that you have no right to incite ethnic hatred.

Let's already learn not to put insulting stamps on everyone who is not Russian.

Tajiks are overly industrious brothers who are distinguished by cheerful good nature.

With the greatest difficulty, I managed to include in the discussion a girl who, like Vladlena, is dating a Tajik.

She agreed to answer the question.

I am Margot. 24 - according to the passport. 25 - in psychology.

People are so tired of the dullness of everyday life that they are given sensations, gossip and stupid conversation.

This is exactly what we are doing now.

Tajiks treat Russian girls to the extent of their upbringing, and not a biased perception of personality.

Many people call them "stalkers".

And how do you call yourself?

My Tajik boyfriend builds our relationship without embarrassment that I am a Russian young lady.

I do not feel any difference between a bouquet of flowers and an invitation to a cafe - if only a well-bred Russian youth were in his place.

And again the question “stunk”: what are you missing, Russians?

Or does Margot like "darker"?

No, ghouls, our acquaintance took place absolutely by chance, when my Tajik was just returning from the stall.

A white-toothed smile, no hints of fleeting intimacy, drunkenness and rudeness.

Yes, I had to get used to his accent a bit. He must have gotten used to it too.

The relations of Tajiks, who are not obsessed with the nation, are built on the conviction that he is confronted by a Russian woman who is no different from humble Tajik women.

Of course, among any diaspora there are nasty people.

And now I don't want to blame anyone for anything.

That is why we live in such a hostile way that we do not see the prospects for serious and pure relations with those who speak broken Russian.

Please love good people, no matter what nationality.

And let's end this conversation.

Margo from Moscow.

The material was prepared by me - Edwin Vostryakovsky.

How do Tajiks, Chechens treat Russian girls?

Russian girls are not very suitable for marriage, because they are not culturally educated enough, I repeat the words of one of my acquaintances, from one of the fraternal southern republics. I used to work at construction sites with fraternal peoples, fellow countrymen Rakhmonov, Karimov and Petrosyan. Sometimes they get married in a civil marriage, and then it turns out that he already has a family at home. Therefore, advice to girls, if love has appeared, check the documents. I haven’t seen any from Chechnya at construction sites, they don’t seem to be found in physical work these days. Under the USSR, I remember there were many Chechen builders, they built cowsheds on our farm. There was no time for locals, they did not keep up, under the USSR everyone worked, so they were hired. They did a good job and were treated well. I remember we even played volleyball with them on the school playground. However, at that time the upbringing was different, the communists promoted friendship and brotherhood. Now I can’t say anything about the Chechens, about the attitude towards women. Everything has changed, and a new generation has grown up. Kindness, together with the USSR, was left far behind, we are increasingly immersed in the laws of the jungle and capitalism - "eat, otherwise they will eat you."

Every reasonable parent should explain to their daughters that it is not worth dealing with representatives of these nationalities. The example given by gudroni is quite real, I've heard of worse cases. But even if a Muslim marries a Russian, over time he will leave her anyway, and there will be a war because of the children. One woman I know had a Caucasian husband who waited until his son was 7 years old and fled with him to his homeland. In fact, he stole a child. And ends. Couldn't find. And only when the guy was 16 years old, he himself fled from his father to his mother in Russia. His father came for him with his brothers, his mother had to call the riot police. But even if they live with Russian wives to old age, then they still kick these wives in the ass and marry their own. The Koran does not allow them to die with a non-believer. And besides all this, there are many different nuances. They take advantage of Russian women and themselves laugh at their stupidity. For any Caucasian to spoil Russian blood is valor. Let at least one Russian try to spoil their blood by contacting their woman, they will slaughter them right away.

Travel to Tajikistan: attitude towards Russians

The attitude towards Russians in Tajikistan is very ambiguous. While you are in the status of a guest, you can count on a friendly and respectful attitude, especially if you look respectable.

But the attitude towards the Russian people living there permanently is different. No guest status - no security guarantees. Russian old people, women and children are often humiliated and even beaten by local youth.

When traveling around Tajikistan, one should be mentally and financially prepared for increased attention from government officials of all stripes. Money extorted openly and brazenly.

The Russian language is well understood by residents of Dushanbe of older and middle age, but the youth is much less. In the market, our group often encountered a language problem, and we had to negotiate a purchase literally on our fingers.

In villages, the situation is much worse, where it is even more difficult to find a Russian-speaking interlocutor. But I will tell about the villages in a separate post, this is a completely different story.

Sadly. And in the photo there are some oddities in general - a wedding dress next to a hot dog! It's like - who bought the dress - a hot dog as a gift)))

Is it really a bad attitude towards the non-titular nations of Tajikistan? At the expense of the language - I will say this .. the reason for the nationalization. The CIS countries seceded from the USSR almost 20 years ago and are heading towards nationalization. It `s naturally.

I don't know if Russian has the status of a state language in Tajikistan? In Uzbekistan, for example, he never had. The reason is a mono-ethnic state. That is, it has the status of a language of "interethnic" communication. but not the state. I know that in Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan it has the status of a state.

And as for the oppression of Russians, it's true. Even Tajik women do not miss the opportunity to inject harder Russian women. Again, I repeat that we are talking about permanent residents there. This is rare in Dushanbe, but common in villages and small towns. This information was obtained by me first hand.

You can just understand them too. They are probably offended by the TV show "Our Russia". After all, they openly mock Tajiks there. I heard that they have. this program is prohibited. Although the common people, the non-titular people, are not guilty of this. This is the time, unfortunately.

I was also very surprised and amused by such an unexpected neighborhood :)

And the gallery "Didor"? Such a big name! Well done host - with an eye to the future called!

In Tajikistan, the official language is Tajik. I understand that this is a multi-ethnic state and I do not at all pretend that all Tajiks learn Russian. I emphasized this because it was important for us as tourists.

They can be understood - the attitude towards Tajiks in Russia can hardly be called respectful, and it's not just about the scandalous TV show. Maybe their women and children are offended in Russia, so I don't judge them. I just write as is.

of course, the family has its black sheep. well, what can you do

if a Caucasian is normal, then the attitude depends on how the girl puts herself

if a Caucasian is a jerk, then he is a jerk

Blog entries: 1

but just do you fucked up with fucking America already, instructions were handed out to them all over the country for a long time, you will 911 type and shout a set of standard obscene phrases at the time when your America will be covered with a huge punitive cunt

Well, of course it all depends on the girl herself.

Only among the dugs, there are a lot of such freaks!

But still, there are normal people too, right? who treat girls with respect among these nations?

Shokhobiddin Ibodulloev, a 23-year-old citizen of Tajikistan, was detained and is giving evidence. This shocking crime took place on July 1, 30 kilometers from Tolyatti, in the picturesque village of Taschelka.

Sochi :: A crowd of Caucasians, for the sake of fun, brutally beat vacationing servicemen and their wives

Several Sochi families of officers of the Russian army were returning home, they were completely attacked by a crowd of Caucasians. The leader of the Caucasian gangsters took out a baseball bat from the car, with which he began to strike. At the police station, on-duty investigator Grigoryan V. reported that the attacker was Bogosyan, an investigator of the Central Department of Internal Affairs of Sochi, senior lieutenant of justice. Grigoryan refused to accept the application from the victims. The City Attorney's Office has also done nothing. And this is not the first case of such lawlessness, arranged in Sochi by Caucasians. In August last year, bandits of Caucasian nationality beat peaceful vacationers with baseball bats. Among the affected Sochi residents and their guests were women and children. And so far the perpetrators have not been punished.

Moscow:: 40% of all crimes in Moscow are committed by foreigners, Vladimir Pronin, head of the Moscow police department, said at a meeting of the interethnic advisory council on July 14.

Moscow:: Caucasians continue to massacre the natives. It's already a routine

On the night from Friday to Saturday, in the area of ​​​​Raushskaya embankment (opposite the Kremlin), persons of Caucasian nationality committed a daring murder of a 23-year-old Russian youth, a graduate of the Faculty of Economics of Moscow State University

Leningrad region:: Uzbek found guilty of raping a seven-year-old girl

The city court of St. Petersburg convicted an Uzbek citizen who was found guilty of raping a seven-year-old girl and sentenced to 9 years in prison.

Irkutsk region:: c. Moskovshchino. Tajik workers hung Russian children with strings

Tolerance in action. Two teenagers were killed, one survived and managed to identify the killers.

Moscow:: Moscow was swept by a wave of immigrants from Asia and the Caucasus

As MK was told in the Moscow mayor's office, in recent years the number of Chinese living here has grown 35 (!) times. In second place in terms of “accommodation” in the metropolis are Tajiks, whose number has increased by 12.2 times. Chechens (by 6.9 times), Ingush (by 5.9 times), Moldavians (by 5.2 times) and Azerbaijanis (by 4.6 times) began to actively populate the capital.

Moscow:: Azerbaijani raped and killed 18-year-old Russian girl, student of Moscow State University

Immigrants continue to rape and kill the natives of Russia. 26-year-old Azerbaijani Zaur Sadygov has been detained and has already confessed to the murder of Anna Borisova, an 18-year-old student at Moscow State University. It is possible that he is the “Moscow strangler”, accused of a series of murders in the summer of 2003. It has 4 to 7 murders and rapes.

Moscow: The proportion of Russians is rapidly decreasing in Moscow

Tyumen region:: Guest worker was prevented from raping a 10-year-old orphan

On Sunday, at about ten o'clock, a janitor passing by the bushes heard a faint cry: "Don't!" and rushed into the wild. A woman noticed a Tajik man leaning on a naked 10-year-old orphanage pupil

Khabarovsk Territory:: Uninvited guests

The number of illegal immigrants in the Far East in 2005 doubled compared to the previous year.

Moscow:: The case of Alexandra Ivannikova. News from the Moscow City Court

Today, the Moscow City Court considered the case of a Russian girl who, defending herself from an Armenian rapist, killed him.

Moscow:: Caucasians threaten to massacre Russians in Moscow itself

The statement of the Caucasian bandits: “We will come to Russia for you and get you in your own homes! If necessary, we will attack you and destroy you with your children and wives!”

Moscow:: Is Moscow Russian?

The latest studies of the capital's scientists have shown that the northern, eastern and southern outskirts of the capital will turn into Caucasian and Asian quarters

Moscow region:: Egorievsk. A Tajik guest worker raped a 6-year-old girl.

The shock caused by the rape of a 6-year-old girl by Tajik E. G. Begmurodov cannot be described in words.

Moscow: Moroccan arrested for rape in Moscow

The girl said that an unknown person attacked her in Catherine's Park. According to the victim, the man raped her and fled. Police officers began an investigation and after some time, on suspicion of committing a crime, they detained a Moroccan born in 1971, Interfax reports.

Moscow:: Murderer and rapist from Azerbaijan was given out by the victim's mobile phone

The tormented body of the unfortunate woman was found in the bushes on Trofimov Street. Anna was raped and strangled with a belt from her own purse. A 26-year-old native of Azerbaijan, Zaur Sadygov, did not touch the money in Ani's purse, but coveted the phone.

Moscow region:: Tajik killed a 9-year-old schoolboy because of a knapsack

Police officers are looking for a Tajik citizen suspected of killing a 9-year-old schoolboy.

Moscow: Tajik janitor arrested for raping 7-year-old girl in Moscow

“Tolerant journalists” are silent about the next detention of a Tajik rapist. Criminal scum continues to carry drugs, rape our children, women throughout the country. Ask yourself - "DO I DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT MY FATHERLAND, MY PEOPLE, MY LOVED ONE?". Ask and think about it.

Moscow:: Losses from illegal migrants - 8 billion dollars a year

The head of the Federal Migration Service told the press that "the scale of Russia's economic losses from illegal migrants, according to experts, annually reaches about 8 billion dollars."

St. Petersburg:: In St. Petersburg, every fifth student has already become acquainted with drugs

Half of drug addicts are teenagers under 17 years old, and up to a third of students use them in high school. REVIEW THIS MESSAGE!

Sverdlovsk Region:: 11 Tajiks captured. Seized 200 kg (!) of heroin

The smugglers hid drugs in a Kamaz trailer loaded with watermelons... It's time to stop the flow of death - RUSSIA NEEDED VISA REGULATION WITH TAJIKISTAN!

Republic of Sakha /Yakutia/ :: There are rapists from the South in Yakutsk

On the evening of May 28, a man living near Ochichenko Street contacted the police and stated that at about 21:00 near the Yantar store, an unknown Caucasian attacked and raped his 16-year-old daughter.

Moscow:: Citizen of Moldova jailed for life for killing four women in Moscow

The Moscow City Court, on the basis of a jury verdict, sentenced to life imprisonment a guest worker from Moldova who committed the murder of four women in the Russian capital.

Tula region:: Immigrants kept Russian slaves

R. Akhmedov and A. Akhmedov used the slave labor of several residents of the Arsenievsky region for a number of years. A criminal case was initiated against them under Art. 127.2 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation "use of slave labor".

Moscow:: Two Caucasians are wanted

In Moscow, a raped pregnant woman, bleeding, spent 40 minutes on the pavement at the gates of the departmental Medical Unit No. 1 of AMO ZIL and died without waiting for help.

Khabarovsk Territory:: A Chinese man killed an eighth-grader for a mobile phone

In an apartment on Parkovaya Street in the village of Michurinskoye, Khabarovsk Territory, a corpse of an 8th grade student of a local school was found with multiple stab wounds to various parts of the body.

Volgograd region:: Frolovsky district. At the gathering, the villagers demand to evict the uninvited guests

Gypsy lawlessness brought the inhabitants of the area to the brink. Police bought, officials do not care. The villagers are ready to take axes and deal with "gypsies - drug dealers, robbers and robbers" on their own.

Russia: According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, there are about 4 million teenage drug addicts and 700,000 orphans in Russia. The number of teenagers who die from drugs has increased 42 times over the past 20 years.

Kurgan region:: The bus of migrant workers was stuffed with heroin

More than 10 kg of heroin was found in Kurgan during an inspection of an Ikarus bus that arrived from Tajikistan on Saturday, the Interfax-Ural news agency was told at the press service of the drug control department for the Kurgan region.

Sverdlovsk region:: Tajik raped a young Russian girl

The prosecutor's office of Nizhny Tagil has charged a citizen of Tajikistan with raping a 10-year-old girl, Yevgeny Martenov, deputy prosecutor of the Dzerzhinsky district of the city, told the Interfax-Ural news agency.

Tajiks attitude towards Russian women

Why you should visit Tajikistan

95% of the country is mountains. And this is the number one reason why tourists go to Tajikistan. Tajikistan is a Mecca for climbers. Therefore, in the days of the Soviet Union, people from all over the country came here for this. Now, however, the situation has changed somewhat. The number of tourists from the CIS countries has decreased due to the unstable situation in recent years. Now the few tourists are dominated by citizens of Europe. At least, while staying at the main mountain camp Artuch, I did not meet a single Russian. Caught only a group of well-equipped French and Czechs.

This is one of the good reasons why you should also visit Tajikistan. Everything is conspicuous, everything is not the way

In a word, exotic. This was the second reason why I chose to travel to Tajikistan. And my expectations were fully justified and even more than that.

In the first days of my stay in the country, I walked with wide eyes.

people and relationships

Before the trip, I read articles by travelers who had already visited Tajikistan. Everyone noted a very good attitude towards the Russians. This was the third reason for my choice. Expectations were also fully justified. Moreover, I did not expect such attention and care for me. Maybe it's because there are practically no Russians left, and I was a curiosity, or maybe because ties with Russia are close.

A surprise for me was the established relationship between Tajiks to each other. In a word, they are based on some kind of closeness, kinship to each other, unlike the Russians, who can and will help you in difficult times, but will first be suspicious of any stranger.

Why you should not visit Tajikistan

If comfort is important to you, if you appreciate the amenities in everything, then you should not go to Tajikistan. The country is about to move away from the former military-political internal conflicts. And people still do not feel the desire to throw all their strength into the rise of the country. There is a sense of apathy. At the same time, most of the able-bodied population works for the good of Russia, and not for their homeland.

The country is located as if on the outskirts of civilization, economic life seemed to freeze. It seems that time has stopped, and you have fallen into the times of decaying socialism - dilapidation is everywhere. Business is very timidly penetrating the country. Most well-known companies are practically not represented here. Beeline may be an exception. There are practically no shopping centers, only small shops and markets. Most of the roads are in a disgusting state, with the exception of the center of Dushanbe, or they are non-existent. There are, of course, signs of new life: the Chinese have begun to equip the most important artery of the country - the mountain road to the north of the country, new hotels have been built, but this is a drop in the ocean.

On the other hand, fans of extreme sports, to which I include myself, all this will be very much to their liking.

My travel itinerary

It is better to go to Tajikistan, definitely, by plane, as a train ride can overshadow the trip

The itinerary of my journey meant visiting, if not the whole country, then at least its main part. However, in reality it turned out less than half, but this was quite enough for me. I managed to visit Dushanbe, Jilikul - the center and south of the country, the Fann Mountains, a chain of seven most beautiful lakes, also Penjikent, Khujand - the north of the country. Planned, but did not visit Nurek (the largest hydroelectric power station is located there), Khorog. So there is another reason to return.

It so happened that I was able to see Tajikistan from the point of view of the life of ordinary people, which created the most complete impression of the country. My advice is that wherever you travel, it is always better to talk and live with ordinary people, and not be locked in your hotels and look at people's lives through the windows of a tourist bus.

There was also a desire to complete the trip with a trip to Samarkand (Uzbekistan), as it is not far from Penjikent, but I did not have a passport. According to rumors, Russian citizens are not allowed into Uzbekistan without it, unlike Tajikistan.

Since my journey ended somewhat prematurely, and I wanted more impressions, I decided to drastically change the route to a more gentle one. - Black Sea, Sochi.

What an amazing country

So, now I would like to dwell in more detail on the features of this amazing country. I'll start with, in my opinion, the main thing - the features of the national character.

Features of the national character

Immediately, what distinguishes Tajiks from other peoples, if they are nearby, is their hot southern temperament. It is expressed in constant fuss (especially noticeable on the plane and in the market), they cannot sit in one place. Also, temperament is expressed in more active gestures than Europeans and in the fact that it is customary to speak loudly. Involuntarily, after a while, you also begin to speak loudly.

In a word, impulsive people.

At the same time, as with other peoples of the Muslim East, no one is in a hurry to go anywhere (the only exception is the bazaar: here life is just in full swing - just some kind of hellish anthill). Time does not have such great value as in European culture. Churchill once said that the Russians lose an hour - nothing to lose. And the farther to the east, the more this expression intensifies. With regard to the Tajiks, we can say: a Tajik to lose three hours is not to lose anything. Therefore, it becomes not surprising that time-killing establishments such as teahouses, various eateries with sunbeds instead of a table with chairs are popular in Tajikistan.

The presence of two mutually exclusive imprints of the national character also affects how effectively the Tajiks work. On the one hand, the increased impulse multiplied by the enormous patience developed as a result of living in difficult natural and climatic conditions (heat and mountains) makes Tajiks energetic workers. And on the other hand, some kind of apathy makes the Tajiks complete gouging. Gouging. present everywhere:

They do not care much about how comfortable their housing is. Home improvement is simple. Everywhere (observed in Dushanbe) on the streets of srach (garbage lies, it seemed to me, for years and gradually merged with the street itself, there are practically no urns). Automobile movement resembles the chaotic movement of atomic particles. At the same time, I have not seen a single accident, which, oddly enough, speaks of the skillfulness of driving Tajiks. If such a chaotic movement in Moscow, in an hour Moscow would have turned into piles of twisted metal with a stream of victims.

The distance between people among Tajiks is reduced to a manim. Therefore, they easily enter into a relationship with each other, even if they did not know each other at all. At the same time, one gets the impression from the outside that they are familiar with almost the entire

1. It has become a habit for me, whenever I meet people I don't know, to automatically extend my hand to them for a handshake, especially when I traveled with Tajiks I already knew. In Russia, a handshake is also accepted, but still it is applicable to people already familiar, mostly.

2. A sign of special hospitality was, for example, that a taxi driver, whom my Tajik friend hired to go south on business, after the trip offered to temporarily settle in his private house on the outskirts of Dushanbe. In addition, he showed great patience when the waiting time had already expired, although he personally expressed dissatisfaction with me about this, but only to me.

3. At a party, wherever I was, everywhere I was treated, if possible, for free. So the first week I spent almost nothing.

And if I found myself in the mountains, I was immediately called to their place for tea with a tortilla. There was even a case when an old woman called me for tea, but at the same time she did not speak Russian at all, and I did not immediately understand what she wanted to tell me. This made me feel very comfortable and unusual.

4. When my Tajik and I drove at night from Dushanbe to Penjikent on its Volga, we stopped more than once to help motorists who got stuck for one reason or another. One was even specially helped to refuel, after which he drove to a gas station, as he ran out of gas.

And I could list more such examples. It was amazing for me to see all this. But I was especially struck by the fact that drivers (for example, Abdusalam), in the event of a dangerous situation on the road created by another driver by accident, do not swear at each other, as we do in Moscow.

The negative side of close relations in Tajikistan, as, perhaps, everywhere in the East, is nepotism, blasphemy and bribery. It plays a special role if you have acquaintances in the most important positions, who, in case of anything, will always come to your aid, mostly bypassing the law. But Tajiks consider this not an evil, but a blessing, since life becomes much easier, and any issue can always be settled with little bloodshed. This is the Eastern mentality. Here are some examples:

1. When we were driving somewhere, and we were stopped by the local traffic cops, the Tajik driver, getting out of the car, took, first of all, not a driver's license, but money, but this amount was usually insignificant. One got the impression that giving money to traffic cops, even if you did not commit any offense, is a kind of tribute to the recognition of the power of traffic cops like: guys, thank you for existing, you do not touch us, drivers, and we will behave well, and for this we thank you. As a result, none of the drivers is indignant, and even on the contrary thanks the traffic cop. Something like gratitude for the "roof".

2. When, due to an oversight, I did not have time to register with the local police, my Tajik quickly settled this business. By law, I had to pay a rather large amount in the form of a fine, but it was much less.

In Russia, there is also blat and bribes, but now the situation is changing. Blat no longer plays such a big role in getting, for example, a job. Bribes (that is, corruption) are going to be fought at the highest level.

In short, the situation looks something like this: the further east from the west you get, the less legitimacy and more importance is attached to relationships.

Attitudes towards women

But most of all, the “special” attitudes towards women are striking. One gets the impression that the struggle for rights

And besides, Tajiks, as Muslims, still allow polygamy. The number of wives depends on your financial capabilities. This is also a positive point that should be adopted by us Russians, so that there are no divorces on the basis of betrayal.

Attitude towards money

The attitude to money in our understanding is somehow irrational. Money in relationships, of course, has a price for Tajiks. However, their size, again, is determined by mutual relations.

This means that you can always agree on a price that is comfortable for you. The size of the discount will depend on how influential you are in society, and your ability to "push" the seller to your declared price. As for me, this state of affairs seemed unusual to me, and expressing my readiness to pay the declared amount, I showed my worth.

When money comes between closer people, it already plays a mediating role. That is, if, for example, I already owe something to my Tajik friend, I will not return it now and, most likely, not with money, but with something else.

As a result, some kind of mutual responsibility is obtained: everyone strives to help each other so that sooner or later they will help you. Healthy - isn't it?

Relations between nations

First of all, I am interested in the attitude towards the Russians and towards their closest neighbors - the Uzbeks.

The attitude towards Russians is extremely positive. All Tajiks are absolutely pro-Russian. Consequently

The pro-Russian attitude was also expressed in the fact that all Tajiks in the majority watch Russian television, although they also have their own, which is extremely primitive.

The attitude towards the Uzbeks is directly opposite to the attitude towards the Russians. Tajiks hate Uzbeks. Between them there is a mutual enmity, the roots of which are far in the joint history. Tajiks consider themselves an older ethnic group than the Uzbeks. Therefore, part of the territory belonging to Uzbekistan, the Tajiks consider their own, and the city of Samarkand is a purely Tajik city. Hostility is expressed both in a low degree of economic integration, and in some oppression of Tajiks by Uzbeks, and in the installation of artificial barriers to movement between the two countries. The Tajiks themselves compare their relations with the Uzbeks with the relations of Russians with Western Ukrainians: a common historical fate, but the memory of grievances that someone was once under someone. In my opinion, this is complete nonsense that prevents both peoples from co-prospering. Uzbekistan needs Tajik water, and Tajikistan needs Uzbek gas. It is worth forgetting everything, as the Japanese "forgot" about Hiroshima, and successfully began to deepen relations with America.

I will cite only the features known to me, since I have not visited other regions (for example, the east of the country), as mentioned above.

The most ancient regions are those in the north of the country. Alexander the Great with his army even visited here at one time. In the 8th century AD, a developed trading civilization existed in Penjikent. At present, the north of the country is considered more civilized by Tajiks. Here, the traditional orders are not so rigid, and people are more civilized. All the intelligentsia also lives in the north of the country. The largest city in the north is Khujand (during the Soviet Union - Leninabad). I liked the city - everything is clean and well maintained. There is a resort spirit. Especially in the suburb where I lived, in Chkalovsk.

The center of the country with the capital Dushanbe, it seemed to me, is more archaic than the north. And Dushanbe itself is generally a young city, which was formed at the beginning of the 20th century by the merger of three villages, one of which was called Dushanbe. Therefore, there is still a spirit of some redneck there. People seem to still not understand that they live in the capital, and not in the outskirts. For example, a common situation is when a woman makes a fire near a five-story residential building and puts a brazier for cooking pilaf for the whole family (see photo).

Features of the political situation

Tajikistan is officially a democratic state. However, there is no trace of democracy there. Yes, there is a multiparty system. But in fact, only the current party rules, or it would be more correct to say the clan.

The lack of democracy is expressed in the absence of public criticism of the president and the absence of opposition as such.

The President of the country is Rakhmonov. Among people, he does not enjoy special love, since there are few positive changes in the country. His only merit lies in the fact that he once became the unifier of the nation, when the country was torn apart by civil war.

In the country, as in other countries of the East, a mild personality cult flourishes. Posters of the President are everywhere.

It is believed that the north of the country is mainly inhabited by the intellectual elite, while the south is inhabited only by semi-educated people. For a long time, northerners were in power. But this came to an end with the coming to power of Rakhmonov, a southerner, who had previously been the chairman of the collective farm. Thus, dissatisfaction with the existing government remains among a part of the intelligentsia.

In addition, it is believed that after the civil war, only representatives of the winning side were in all key positions. And representatives of other political movements were infringed in their position.

So external calmness is very, very conditional. If it were not for the labor migration of the main part of the male population to Russia, the internal crisis would not have been long in coming.

It's hot in Tajikistan, VERY HOT. But the heat here is something special. At first, you don't notice it. Well, it bakes, so what - tolerable, since the climate is dry. But after a while, the heat makes itself felt to an unprepared European. On the third day of my stay in Tajikistan, I had a sunstroke. It was in Dushanbe: I went to see the city on my own, got off the minibus and realized that I could not move further. I really wanted to go back. Which I did with great difficulty. When I got out in the suburbs where the house of my residence was located, I forgot where it was located. And it cost me a lot of pain to wait out the heat until my friend Tajik found me. I almost died out there in the heat. The worst thing is that there is no mercy from the heat anywhere, even in the shade. And when he returned to the house, he fell ill, and the next day he lay in bed. Soon the situation changed - we went north, and in the north it doesn’t bake as much as in the south. In the mountains, the climate is completely sparing - just like in Moscow: sometimes the sun is shining, sometimes a cloud will come and it will rain. Therefore, definitely, when going on a trip to Tajikistan, you should definitely take sunscreen with you. I took a cream with increased protection, and as a result, no tan remained on me at all.

Features of Tajik cuisine are as follows:

- Mostly everything is natural and is bought on the market, although you can also buy the same sausage, but it is not in everyday food.

— The menu is not very diverse, although the sites say about an unthinkable number of national dishes (perhaps they are simply not used all). So, for example, it is customary for Tajiks to serve shurpa (a very fatty lamb soup with vegetables) for the first thing - and this is EVERYTHING from soups (Russians have dozens of types of soups).

- All food is very rich and fatty.

- Tajiks eat often and for a long time despite the economic difficulties in the country.

- Dishes are simple, but very tasty.

At first, the absorption of other national food is even a pleasure, but after a long use of such food, it becomes simply unbearable. So I want something more varied and less greasy. It is worth being careful and knowing when to stop.

At the same time, there are ordinary cafes and canteens, where you will be served dishes that are familiar to us, but eateries with traditional food still prevail.

- Cakes. They are bought, if not in tons, then in dozens for sure. In Tajikistan, just a cult of cakes (see photo). Each

— Fatty meat with herbs in various versions.

- Salad of cucumbers and tomatoes (moreover, raw - without sunflower oil).

— Pilaf, which is quite tasty.

— Shurpa — fatty soup with meat and potatoes.

- Dairy dishes (chakki - sour and thick cottage cheese, kefir + cottage cheese - a liquid drink that is often served).

- They drink only green tea (brewed in teapots, not in glasses, as in our country, and they drink from bowls) without sugar. At first it's pleasant, and then it gets so boring that you just want wildly black tea from bags.

Potatoes are not as popular as they are with Russians, which gave me particular pleasure when fried potatoes turned out to be unclaimed by Tajiks when I bought them at the market.

In the house, it is customary to eat sitting on the floor covered with carpets. In an eatery with traditional food, they eat on trestle beds, although there are also tables with chairs. In a cafe with European food, only tables and chairs.

Everywhere they listen mainly to national oriental music, which is extremely melodic and with an incendiary tempo. These are both Tajik performers and performers from other countries of the Middle East (Turks, Arabs). Although they also listen to our pop musicians, as well as Western ones, mainly in the north, where the orders are more European.

I especially liked their music, because I have always loved any national music, if it is very temperamental and incendiary (for example, Latin American music).

Features of the automotive industry

Driving on the roads

As mentioned above, the roads are mostly broken in Tajikistan. In Russia, compared to

There are no road markings. Traffic is chaotic, especially in Dushanbe. Therefore, in order not to knock anyone down inadvertently, all drivers honk for any reason, approaching some kind of obstacle (another car or a child, from whom you can expect anything at the last moment). And when everyone starts to give a signal at once, it turns into some kind of general madhouse. One gets the impression that Tajiks are very dashing drivers, but at the same time they are very skillful in driving, trying to prevent accidents. It can be assumed that circumstances make them skillful - they have to drive most of the time on steep mountain roads. Although I once read in one post that supposedly they are not so skillful - sometimes they fall into the abyss. To be honest, when we were driving on mountain roads, in some places I gave drift, since the distance to the cliff was reduced to almost zero.

The rules of the road are conditional, you can not fasten your seat belt, although there are traffic cops, they are rare, and those that exist serve as a collection of tribute without a reason, but the amount of tribute is small.

Here, perhaps, all the features of this interesting country. I hope my story will interest someone, and someone else will dare to go to this country for thrilling impressions.

The other side of migration

In Germany, there are a lot of Russians in prisons, in psychiatric departments, in rehabilitation centers. Many are being treated for drug addiction. There are quite a lot of prostitutes, which is why the attitude towards compatriots here can be very peculiar in places. I didn’t see it myself, but they say that there are a lot of Russian youth, Russian guys in the methadone dispensing centers. Germany is not a panacea for all ills, it has its own difficulties. For starters, it is very difficult to adapt if you do not know the language. It is better to start learning the language back in Russia, so there will be more time to switch to full possession of it. Denial of citizenship to persons with a criminal record is virtually guaranteed.

Employment of Russians in Germany

In general, the process is not particularly fast. As for job searches, you need to look for a job very hard. The more benefits you have, the better. It's simple: according to the law, if a German citizen and someone who does not yet have citizenship apply for the same place, even if they already have a residence permit, then the first should be given preference. Therefore, you should have your own advantages, for example, European work experience, if in Germany itself, then it’s very good, several higher educations, knowledge of several languages. Moreover, the Germans do not value crusts for the sake of crusts or polyglots in a field where it is not useful. You must clearly know why your future employer needs your second higher education, how your knowledge of Turkish will be useful to him, and so on. If the company does not work with Turkey, it does not care that you know this language. She does not need your knowledge for the sake of knowledge. This is good for you, because you understand more, you have a wider outlook. But this does little for the company itself.

Attitude towards Russians in Germany

I would say that initially the attitude towards every new Russian (not in terms of oligarchs, but simply towards a new person from Russia) is very wary. And this can be understood, since a lot of Germans came across our former citizens who came here with the position: foreign countries will help us, in this case, they will solve all problems. Social assistance to the unemployed and those who simply do not want to work is taxes from the same working Germans. And the more people live on social programs, the higher the taxes, the worse the penalties for those who evade their payments, the stricter the checks. This cannot set people up positively about those who go to Germany.

TASHKENT, April 17 - Sputnik. At present, in Tajikistan, as it was in the Soviet period, the trend towards an increase in the number of interethnic marriages does not change.

As the Tajik sociologist Sofia Kasymova notes, in the early years of Soviet power, interethnic and interfaith marriages were even welcomed and encouraged by the authorities, especially since the majority of Tajiks did not interfere with international marriages. The first big wave of interethnic marriages in Tajikistan took place in the second half of the 1940s.

Tens of thousands of veterans of the Great Patriotic War and members of the labor front returned to Tajikistan. Thousands of Muslim fighters came to their homeland with Christian wives. In almost every district center and in many villages one could meet natives of European countries - they successfully worked in hospitals, schools, taught Tajik children the Russian language and raised their light-eyed and fair-haired children.

The second and also quite significant wave of interethnic marriages was noted in the 50-60s of the last century, when Tajik students sent to study in the largest cities of Russia married Russian women. This was especially noticeable among large Soviet party and economic workers in Tajikistan - a significant part of their wives were Russians.

In this regard, the love story of a Tajik and a Russian woman, similar to a legend, is very interesting - a story that half a century later I can already tell in the press, and exactly as her veteran of Tajik foreign intelligence told me 40 years ago, writes Sputnik Tajikistan.

History-legend

In the 50s, a young officer, a Tajik, married to a young Russian woman, was in the service of foreign intelligence. A wife with a child lived with her husband's parents in a village near Dushanbe and was waiting for her husband from another long business trip. But circumstances developed in such a way that while working abroad, for unknown reasons, he was arrested and ended up in a maximum security prison in one of the Central Asian Muslim countries.

Many years passed, and there was no news from the officer. Without waiting for their son, the parents left for another world, but managed to tell the Russian daughter-in-law not to wait for their son and get married. And so it happened. Two children were already growing up in the new family, and her legitimate, living, imprisoned husband in a foreign country somehow managed to transfer a note to the Soviet embassy.

And the then head of the Soviet government Alexei Kosygin was able to agree on the release of the intelligence officer. The officer returned to Tajikistan sick, with seriously impaired health, and learned that his wife obeyed his parents, remarried and was raising children. Hearing about the return of a loved one, a Russian woman said to her new husband: "It would be more humanely correct if I return to him."

And he didn't dare say anything to her. They did not live long - the scout soon died of an illness. But everyone who knew this case treated the heroes of this story with great respect, especially the Russian woman who fell in love with a Tajik.

Alexandra from Khur village

In August 2011, when I was visiting my friend Amirali, headman of Khur village in Gorny Karategin, located 10 kilometers from Tavildara, the owner of the house warmly received me and said: "Andrey, today you are not the only guest from Russia. There are others, tomorrow I'll introduce you!"

While they were having dinner, young guys came up who came on vacation to their parents from their earnings in Russia: they worked at a construction site on Russky Island in the Far East. They said that more than 15 people are working on the construction of a unique bridge and other facilities from the village of Khur. I asked them if their families also live in Russia?

Young people laughed it off: they said that almost everyone there has a girlfriend. Young people could be trusted - in the early 2000s, when labor migration from Tajikistan grew from year to year, an alarming process began in the country, according to demographers. The mass departure of young men to work has greatly complicated the process of creating families - in 2010, about half a million young girls of the republic experienced difficulties in finding a life partner.

Meanwhile, in Russia, the number of interethnic marriages of Tajiks with Russian women, legal and civil, was noticeably growing. The choice of young Russian women in favor of guest workers who came to work was explained simply: the vast majority of Tajiks are hardworking, work honestly, practically do not drink alcohol, do not use foul language, and quickly learn the Russian language. There are no exact statistics of interethnic marriages of Tajiks in Russia.

Nevertheless, according to expert estimates, among the several hundred thousand citizens of Tajikistan who received Russian citizenship after 2000, 40,000 to 60,000 Tajiks have married Russian women so far. By 2013, the situation had become so complicated that Saodat Amirshoeva, a member of the Tajik parliament, said that religiously mixed marriages could destroy the gene pool of the Tajik nation.

But marriages in Russia and in the Tajik diasporas abroad continue to be concluded not only by Tajik men. Over the past 15-20 years, demographers have noted an increase in the number of Tajik women who marry foreigners, not only from Asian countries, but also from European and American countries. In Tajikistan, for example, a recent case is widely known when Russian TV presenter Alexander Gordon married a 20-year-old student from Tajikistan.

The next morning, my friend Amirali, as promised, took me to introduce me to other guests from Russia. It turned out that one of the young men, who has been living and working in St. Petersburg for 6 years, brought his lawful wife Alexandra and children to the village for the first time and introduced them to their parents. The young woman willingly told that she met her future husband in the dining room.

Relations in the family are excellent, two sons are growing up. She admitted that her husband's parents and relatives hospitably and kindly met her and the children, looked at the photos from St. Petersburg with interest, and asked about the plans of the young family. Alexandra allowed her to be photographed, but not for the press. And she gave the green light to the publication of a photograph of her husband with children. The Tajik chose his burned-out car as the background for the photo.

“Only one day I was able to ride it - the car was blown up during the civil war in the 90s,” he explained, adding that heavy fighting took place in these places of Gorny Karategin. Will interethnic marriages continue to grow in Tajikistan? In all likelihood, yes, they will. And not only with foreigners from Europe and America, but also from China.

How this will affect the structure of the population of Tajikistan - demographers do not yet give such forecasts. However, according to the well-known Tajik scholar Rahmon Ulmasov, mixed marriages between Tajiks and foreigners should be treated calmly and with understanding.

Subscribe to the Sputnik Uzbekistan channel on Telegram to keep abreast of the latest events taking place in the country and in the world.

News from Russia

01.09.2016

"In these four years I have turned gray"

Lena - 15, Sasha - 14, Mile - 11, Azizu - 4.

Tajik families are filled with children. There are as many as God gives. God gave four to Sadiridin Yermatov (everyone calls him Sabir). True, the two older ones are not relatives, but adopted. These are the children of his Russian wife Marina. So Sabir became a father of many children.

Marina died in childbirth when she gave birth to the youngest - their common son Aziz.

In order for his stepchildren to be with him, Sabir gave everything.

Five-story building without an elevator. The apartment is at the top. I climb the stairs and think: how many kilometers of steps did Sabir measure, going up and down an infinite number of times with baby carriages?

He was born in Tajikistan, in the city of Tursunzade, in a large family. He has five brothers and sisters. Then, in Soviet times, which he recalls with nostalgia, their house was a full bowl: "My parents kept cows, sheep, geese, chickens - everything except piglets. Religion does not allow. My father is a mullah. A holy man!"

In the ninetieth year he was drafted into the army. Served in the Far Eastern Military District. In 1992, Sabir mobilized, but he didn't even make it home: there was a war going on.

People were running in all directions. And Sabir also ran. First to Uzbekistan, then to Turkmenistan. Nobody needed his diploma as an agronomist in his homeland. And then he got on the train, on which thousands of his compatriots traveled to Russia. Sabir got off in Krasnogorsk.

I didn’t sit without work - I plowed at a construction site, repaired apartments. Worked hard without days off. He sent money to his family every month. You have to support the family - that's the way it is.

He met Marina by chance. On that day, he was taken to the police station - a routine case for a guest worker with a non-Slavic appearance. They released me an hour later: the documents were in perfect order.

Sabir walked along the evening avenue of the World and saw a fair-haired girl who smiled at him in response. He did not yet know that this meeting would change his entire destiny.

He spoke, she answered. They exchanged phone numbers and started dating. She is 26, he is 28. Marina was married, but family life did not work out. The husband drank and did not appear at home.

Sabir left for a while in Tajikistan. When he returned, Marina gave birth to Lena. And soon she admitted that she was expecting another child. Not from Sabir.

The biological father of Sasha and Lena will give them his last name and disappear from the life of the family forever. Sabir will meet Marina from the maternity hospital. He will pick up a bundle tied with ribbons. Children from birth will call Sabir dad.

Marina lived in the state farm named after Lenin, just outside the district. When Sabir first came to her house, he was speechless: he had never seen such devastation. Torn wallpaper, cracked frames, broken doors. There are three families for two rooms: Marina with children, her parents, brother and cohabitant. Utilities, of course, were not paid. The debt was cosmic - 204 thousand rubles. They lived poorly, but cheerfully: alcohol was not translated.

In 2004, Sabir married Marina, and two years later they had a common daughter, Mil.

He still plowed at construction sites: he had to support a large family. When the opportunity arose, he made repairs, changing everything that was possible. I glued new wallpapers, installed double-glazed windows, insulated the balcony. The "killed" apartment shone.

In small villages, life is in full view. Here everyone knows each other. Neighbors, who at first met Sabir with caution, now repeated: “Marina is lucky, what kind of husband she found! She doesn’t drink, she doesn’t smoke, everything is in the house!”

We all fell in love with him, - Nadezhda Petrovna tells me, whom Sabir's children call Baba Nadia. - Modest, neat, polite, greets everyone, treats everyone with respect. It is necessary to fix something, take someone to the city - everything is to him. Nobody refuses. When Marina's parents died one by one, he buried them properly. He still goes to the cemetery, takes care of the grave, paints the fence ...

We haven't had any yet! - echoes her other neighbor on the porch, Natalya Nikolaevna. - What else can you say about him? He comes home from work and always goes for a walk with the children. They adore him.

... In 2012, Marina became pregnant again. When Sabir found out that they would have a fourth child, he was confused: in fact, there is nowhere to live, there is little money, his job is temporary. But since Allah has given, his father taught, one must be grateful and accept the child with joy.

"God gave - God took," they say in Russia. What happened there, in the maternity hospital, Sabir does not know, no one really explained anything to him. They only said that the birth was very difficult, Marina had high blood pressure. Aziz was born prematurely, seven months.

My wife died in the evening, I was informed only in the morning, - Sabir looks away. - At nine o'clock, representatives of the administration already came to the apartment: "You are nobody here! The children are not yours, they have a different surname. You have no citizenship, no registration. We are taking the children away!" My eyes darkened. These are my children, I raised them from birth. They call me dad. How can I give them away?

The heartbroken father rushed to the hospital. He was told that his wife was in the morgue and the child was in the incubator. He has elevated intracranial pressure. The boy is premature, very weak, weighing only 1600 grams. Need to be looked after.

In the maternity hospital, Sabir was immediately offered to write a refusal from the child. He said: "I just lost my wife - do you want to take my child from me?! I'm still alive."

They told him: "You don't have enough money to treat him." "You name the amount - I'm ready!" Sabir answered. "They won't give you a birth certificate!" - "Why won't they give it? Mother is a citizen of Russia, we are painted."

From the hospital, he immediately went to the registry office and received Aziz's birth certificate. Then Sabir found out that they wanted to adopt his child. The kid, in whose veins mixed Russian and Tajik blood, turned out to be a feast for the eyes: soft blond hair, Persian eyes ...

Then a call at three in the morning from the maternity hospital: "Come, we called a specialist doctor for your son. You have to pay 4 thousand." I gave 4 and a half, - he adds after a pause.

He buried his Marina and hid grief very deep, to the very bottom. It was impossible to suffer and cry, it was necessary to act, because at any moment they could take away his older children.

When Aziz was finally discharged home, he weighed only 1800 grams. So small, he fit on a tiny mattress and cried non-stop. Looking at his son, Sabir felt his helplessness. He has golden hands, he knows everything in the world and is not afraid of any work, but will he be able to get out of this creature?

He called his younger sister Bibi from Tajikistan: "Save me!" And then all the neighbors, the whole entrance rushed to help. Someone brought baby things, someone helped bathe the child, someone stroked the diapers ... Ordinary Russian women came and took turns on duty, and Sabir does not remember a day when he was left alone with trouble. He understood: he can do it!

All this time, he was constantly thinking about Sasha and Lena, who at any moment could be taken to an orphanage. Sabir did not yet have Russian citizenship, only a residence permit, and he would never be allowed to become a foster father of children who also had a nominal father.

Sabir found Marina's ex-husband and directly suggested: "Let's solve the issue with the children. You don't need them anyway!" He promised to come in a week and write a refusal from the children. He promised and disappeared. Didn't answer the phone, didn't call. Sabir filed an application with the court, which deprived the negligent father of parental rights.

Sabir took the children to Maloyaroslavets, to the family of Olesya, Marina's cousin, who arranged temporary guardianship. He was torn between children - native and adopted. Every week he went to visit Sasha and Lena and returned with a heavy heart: it was bad for them there.

My brother and I slept together on an air mattress on the floor, Lena recalls. - Our things were put away in the barn, and in the cold every day we ran for clothes. And relatives separated us from their children. They all sit at the table, and they give us a plate, and we eat standing up. Once dad brought us home for the weekend, and we put five tablespoons of sugar in tea. Dad asked: “What, they don’t feed you there? ..” And one day Aunt Olesya said to me: “Lena, there is a woman in Odessa, she has two boys, they are already adults, and she really wants a girl. Will you go there?” I call my dad in tears: "They give me to another family! Take us away from here!" We were put with things out the door ...

On the same day, Sabir took his elders home. I immediately took their documents to the school so that they would not miss classes.

During the three months that the children lived in Maloyaroslavets, guardianship never asked them. But as soon as I brought them home and they went to school, representatives of the department raided. They came to pick up Sasha and Lena, - even now everything is bubbling with him. - I rushed to my neighbor Natalya Nikolaevna: "Take temporary guardianship until I get Russian citizenship!"

Registration of guardianship is not an easy process, it takes time to collect documents, examine the health of the guardian, his living conditions. If the future guardian is not a close relative, he must also be trained at the Foster Parent School. This has become a mandatory requirement since the fall of 2012.

Probably not everyone would agree to take on such a burden. But Natalya Nikolaevna did not hesitate for a minute. Without further ado, she began to collect the necessary documents and enrolled in the School of Foster Parents. The closest one was in Podolsk.

Sabir abandoned all his affairs, if only the children lived with him. Twice a week I took the future foster mother to classes in Podolsk and was engaged in the registration of a Russian passport.

During these four years I have turned gray. They kicked me around like a soccer ball. It's scary to remember what I went through. They tormented me a little, - he adds, after a pause. - As soon as I became a citizen of Russia, I immediately issued guardianship for older children. Marina's parents did not pay for the apartment, I had to pay off the debt for utilities - 204 thousand rubles. If I had not found the money, the apartment would have been taken away, and the children sent to an orphanage.

He gave away all his savings for twelve years. His family doesn't owe anything to anyone anymore.

He recently took Lena and Mil to his homeland in Tajikistan. Two sisters, one fair, the other dark, daughters.

Lena shows me the photos. Here she is in the national Tajik outfit.

In Tajikistan, we were received like family! - admires the girl. - My grandmother hugged me: "My beloved, my golden one!" They showed us the city, treated us to national food. I understand the Tajik language, but it didn’t take many words to feel surrounded by native people…

Lena herself learned how to cook Tajik plov. Almost as tasty and picturesque as dad.

Aunt Bibi recently showed me how to bake their traditional flatbread. Dad does not have a wife, but there should be female support, - the fifteen-year-old daughter argues in an adult way.

While my sister cooks for everyone. So many preparations for the winter! - he points to the rows of cans with adjika, eggplant caviar, pickles and tomatoes. - But if Bibishka goes home, Lena will have to cook, - Sabir laughs. - I'll help her.

He is not registered in this apartment. If the apartment had been privatized, he would have inherited the share after his wife's death. You need to know Sabir: he was embarrassed to ask Marina to register him for a populous parental living space. He lived for himself with a temporary registration, which he renewed every six months.

Now the situation has changed, but the department of guardianship and guardianship in the Leninsky district of the Moscow region is not on the side of the father of many children. Sabir lives on bird's rights. He is stubbornly denied permanent registration, because formally he will infringe on the rights of his children. So they ask him: "What is your intention?"

What is my intent? Sabir smiles bitterly. - I have been living here with my children for sixteen years. I can't buy a new apartment, it costs millions. And I have to feed my family. I have them alone.

I look at Saber. He is only forty-three. Not age for a man. He has been a widow for four years now. All terms of mourning have long passed, and, probably, he could arrange his life.

I thought about it,” he says honestly. - You can find a woman, but for me the most important thing is that she loves my children, and then me.