Communication with the boss: the basic rules. What not to say to your boss

How your career develops depends largely on how you build your relationship with your boss. And here an important role is played by how you talk and what you say in general. After all, it is first by appearance, and then by conversation, that we are evaluated by colleagues and superiors. How to talk to your boss, what to say to make a good impression?

What to say to the boss is up to you, the main thing is not to say something under any circumstances. There are certain phrases that you just need to cross out of your vocabulary, because by using them, you subconsciously sign your incompetence and irresponsibility.

Never say the phrase " i thought someone else was looking into this issue". Excuses only slow things down. Try to avoid reasoning that it would be nice if someone else took up this issue. If you have a task, try to structure the problem. To move things forward, always ask questions.

Never say " nobody told me about it".
If your boss hears you say this phrase often, then he will probably have a negative idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhow you work. It turns out that you are working as if in a fog, not noticing what is happening around you. You may get the impression that you do not know how to correctly allocate your working time and prioritize.

Never say " I was thinking that...". Such a phrase will lead to the fact that you will instantly lose all interest, and this is a direct path to dismissal.

Better not say the phrase " I asked her to tell..."So what of it? The fact that you asked someone to hand over to someone does not mean at all that you have completed the task in full. It also does not mean that now the responsibility for completing this task lies with that person who you called A good manager, even in difficult situations, does not shift responsibility to others.

Never say " and I didn't know that you want me to do it". If you utter such a phrase, then this means that you are able to act only when you are reminded of this, and when your actions are controlled by the leadership.

Do not speak " I did not have time" or " I was very busy". Saying these phrases, you sign in your own unprofessionalism. The ability to complete the task on time is an indispensable characteristic of a successful manager. Arguing for the failure to complete the task due to lack of time, you yourself sign a service obituary. And the following words will be inscribed on the tombstone of your buried career: "Failed with work".

Do not speak " I didn't think to ask about it". The most important thing in work is to foresee everything that needs to be done. Failure to look ahead and anticipate may mean that you do not know how to keep all the threads in your hands. A successful manager must be able to calculate and anticipate a few steps ahead.

Never say " but there is still time before the end of the term"No one needs an emergency. Managers are well aware that what is done at the last minute leaves no time at all to evaluate what has been done, check it and correct mistakes. Modern business does not tolerate second-rate work.

Don't say " but they said it would be done in time". The problem is one thing - it was not done. Why? Yes, because you could not control the process, could not foresee possible problems and ways to eliminate them.

Never say " it should be over then and there's nothing more to discuss". Deadlines are only important when they are met. And they must be reconciled and adjusted every time as necessary.

Don't say the phrase As far as I understand…". No need to cheat. The whole trouble is that you are trying to evade. By using such words, you thereby show that you are not an active participant in the process, but just an outside observer. And the spectator is not paid for the game.

Never say " I will do it as soon as I receive from...". Sorry, but with such competition in the world, this is not a very good answer. If you feel like just a cog in a big machine, then you will not stay at work for a long time. The last statement is true even if the deadline was delayed not according to your Tackling the right problem at the right time, giving it the attention it deserves, and taking responsibility for it is the program of action for a successful manager.

Do not speak " I promise I will take care of it immediately". Of course, you will! After someone had to remind you of this. You thereby show everyone that you are an unorganized worker and can deal with issues only when someone draws your attention to it. If you If you act on prompts and constant reminders, then there are two options in your career: either your days in this job are numbered, or you will never get a promotion.

Never say " I've been trying all this time to contact everyone, but...". Today, this no longer holds water. It turns out that you yourself cannot fulfill the duties and be responsible for the work assigned, or that your colleagues do not want to work with you. In any case, this can bring trouble.

Don't pronounce we can't reach each other by phone". Perhaps you think that in this way you demonstrate your employment. But everything is not quite right. Why? If you "can't contact each other by phone," then this means that you do not live in a real dimension. It is necessary to do everything to prevent this from happening.If necessary, then buy yourself a mobile phone or at least a pager and give everyone your number, and then you will always be easy to contact.

Never say " I couldn't reach her". Of course, talking on the phone today is a terrible problem. There are barriers that sometimes seem impenetrable. Be creative. Send flowers. Rent a limousine. Do everything that can get attention to you. And just sitting and making excuses is to sign in their complete impotence.

In business today, everything is quite clear. Active action is the key to success. Whatever the obstacles in the way, your task is to eliminate them yourself. If you cannot do this, then you yourself will be the obstacle.

The boss is always right! If the boss is wrong, see point one.
Everyone, well, or many, secretly consider themselves smarter than their boss. Sometimes it is, but we don't want to lose our jobs just to let everyone know about it. Let's be more careful, and therefore we read a list of ten phrases that you should not say to your boss.

Quit. Why do you need a job with such a low salary.

Of course, it's cool to give out to the boss like that, but not very smart. Firstly, you show that you are afraid to take responsibility, and secondly, your colleagues will also remind you how you passed them. In addition, a disrespectful conversation with the boss usually spoils karma.

“Semyon Gavrilovich, did you leave the restaurant at ten o’clock yesterday with a blonde?” Yes. Went out. He was also drunk, it seems, but it's none of your business, is it?

Yegorov is that you. You climb into friends and personal life of the boss. Might not appreciate it. It may very well be that Egorov is enough for him at work.

Only from the "Contact" fought off, so you climb from the other side. Now, if the boss offers you this, then you can think about it.

They can send for a salary to Lenochka. The authorities value their time, so do not offend him.

Do you remember? The boss is the smartest, and if the "brilliant" idea arose from the fact that he simply did not delve into it, well. Praise the creative and then gently push with arguments.

Petrov will take care of it, and they will cut your bonus.

Bring nails from home and nail the table tight. Well, actually! No need to load the boss with trifles, this will make him more nervous when he sees you.

You don't think your zeal is valued. Most likely, you will get an enemy who does not like that subordinates "jump" over his head.

However, there are exceptions to any rule, and one must understand where the insidiously thin line lies between rational sincerity and its evil antagonist - shameless utterly frankness.

"It's important to be careful what you say to your boss, as even the slightest slip can cost you your career," said Ryan Kahn, founder of HR firm The Hired Group.

“Great practice is to pause a little before you say something you might regret later. And if you think that you may later regret what was said, most likely you will. It is better to wait a bit until your thoughts are formulated to such an extent that they are framed in an acceptable form and endowed with a clear meaning, ”says Lynn Taylor (Lynn Taylor), HR expert.

But besides the obvious ones - such as double entender jokes and obscene insults - there are some other phrases that you should not say to your boss. Here they are:

This is not my responsibility.

Bravo, great job: you have thoroughly read the service manual, re-read the contract 14 times and are ready to fight off any treacherous attempts to change your sacred list of duties. But if you are asked to help with something, and you still have enough working time for this, with a similar phrase you will make it clear to your boss that you care only about your personal success, and you just don’t care about the results of the team’s work.

I'm paid too little for this

Of course, it is possible that you are just trying to be funny and make funny jokes, which is certainly commendable. However, a sense of humor is a very relative thing, and this phrase will make you look like a not very professional employee anyway.

What do I benefit from this?

Sometimes you just need to help your colleagues from other departments with something, without asking yourself what exactly you will get for it. Bosses rarely treat those who can't play well in a team, and your help will certainly not go unnoticed.

I'll quit!

You should never threaten your boss with dismissal. Firstly, it will demonstrate your lack of professionalism in a rude way, and secondly, your manager will understand that you are extremely unreliable as an employee.

We did things differently in our last job.

Nobody likes know-it-alls and upstarts (even themselves). If at one of your previous jobs you have come across some similar situation and you have an idea about how you can cope with the current task, please do without wording that borders on reproachful comparisons.

It's not my fault, it's Valera's fault!

Oh, this Valera, everything is always wrong because of him, but you are doing well, you work perfectly. What do you think yourself: is it often the case that your work is performed poorly solely because of the mistakes of other employees? Everyone can make a mistake, but shifting the blame to others is an extremely slippery slope. However, if you admit your mistake and make it clear to the boss that you have realized everything and are ready to improve, this will put you in an extremely favorable light.

Yes, he's just a jerk!

Saying nasty things to your boss about your colleagues is at least not very polite. In addition, the manager may think, are you pouring mud on him while he is at a business meeting? In any case, it is better to refrain from discussing colleagues with the boss.

Oh no, I have to tell your boss about this!

"Yes, I'll get to the CEO!" - you scream mentally and shake your imaginary fist in a fit of very real anger. In fact, this is a situation with zero probability of winning, except in cases where they want to illegally fire you or deprive you of the money owed to you. By appealing to higher-level bosses, you will most often only anger your boss and ruin your relationship with him.

Just a bomb: now I'll tell you who I managed to get into bed yesterday!

A boss-subordinate relationship can sometimes turn into a real friendship, but sharing the details of your personal life at work is not a good idea. Even the walls have ears, and do you need to create an extra reason for slippery rumors?

What kind of business is this, why is Lesha's salary higher, huh?

The neighbor's grass is always greener. If what is happening in the team does not turn into blatant favoritism, it is better to focus on your own career. And stop worrying about everything.

Communication with any person requires some delicacy, feelings of tact, empathy. But, if in everyday life we ​​only risk hurting someone by accident with our awkward verbal elbow, then in a working environment we can incur all sorts of troubles. A person who is disliked by the boss should probably consider changing companies, because in this one it will be difficult for him to achieve anything unless he manages to correct the situation.

But it is better not to take it to extremes and not spoil relationship with the boss. Especially when you consider that this is sometimes done unintentionally, with simple and ordinary phrases, in which, as it seems to us, there is no special meaning, all the more offensive. But now the boss stubbornly wants to see in these phrases an attack on his own authority. So what are these phrases?

1. "I don't get paid for this". Let's start with the obvious. Saying this phrase aloud has only one purpose - to express one's own discontent and resentment. Those who think that by doing so they protect their working time and increase their own authority in the eyes of colleagues are deeply mistaken. If you think that your potential in the company is not appreciated and you are being dumped too much work on you, then you just need to quit and look for another job.

Why say this phrase, waiting for this particular proposal, but already from the mouth of the boss? He will recommend that you get out of it and go look for a company where you will be paid for drinking coffee. You can ask for a raise, presenting your own workload as an argument. You can ask to unload you, because you do not have time. If you are sure that all this is true, go to the boss's office at the right time and talk about this topic. The utterance of the phrase "I'm not paid for this" is a common provocation of the conflict, which does not carry even a small fraction of constructiveness.

2. "Oh, we seriously went over yesterday". This phrase is usually pronounced with a stupid grin, and the same understanding smile is expected in response. But the chief, instead, frowns. And he can be understood: even if he himself yesterday "treated himself" with friends in a drinking establishment, even if he accurately guessed the reason for your swollen face and the characteristic smell coming from you on Monday morning - he still has the right to be dissatisfied with such behavior of a subordinate. And he wants to see a guilty face and hear timid apologies, and certainly not an employee sticking out his own alcoholism as an excuse for his own carelessness and laxity. Be sure that with each such attempt to arouse sympathy for your own hangover in the eyes of the boss, you lose credibility in his eyes. A person who does not know how to limit himself will not be trusted with serious matters. In general, try not to go on a spree on Sundays - Saturday is already enough to harm the body, why aggravate it?

3. "And who needs it?" Oh how smart you are! Why don't you be honest too? Tell the boss directly in the face: "You are an obnoxious blockhead, distributing completely worthless tasks to me, a valuable employee whose time is worth its weight in gold. You only interfere with the work process, without your stupid orders, I would have turned around to the fullest here." Anyway, that's what the boss hears every time you question his orders with this "harmless" phrase.

4. "This is impossible". "And you're a complete idiot if you don't understand this," that's what this clichéd phrase so often used by employees means. Yes, it often happens that the authorities give out a task that cannot be completed for objective reasons. It remains only to decide what is more important for you: to proudly turn up your nose from the fact that "you were right" or to keep your relationship with your boss at an acceptable level? If the former, then do not forget to document the story so that there is something to tell later to other unemployed at the labor exchange. If it is the latter, then agree with the task as it is. After a short period of time, report to the boss's office and report that you have found an insurmountable obstacle. Of course, no one could have foreseen this, there is no one to blame. But you have an idea how to fix the situation. Do you understand how thin the line is between a promotion and a layoff? It sometimes lies not at all in your professional skills, but in communication skills.

5. "Oooh...". Sighs and sour faces are the last thing he wants to hear and see in response to his own orders. And again: it doesn’t matter who is to blame for the situation, who is right. If you look at our relations with the authorities from above, from a completely objective position of an outside observer, then very often we can find a few sins behind us: the desire to cut off work for ourselves here and there, unwillingness to work, hack, sitting out working time playing solitaire and social networks , delays, missed deadlines - and much more. And we will find that our boss is not so wrong, as it seems to us from his position of "the unfortunate exploited representative of the office proletariat."

Again, this is not so important Who is right and who is wrong. It is much more important who is destined for what fate. Oohing and aahing, constantly thinking about how not to do anything that is not provided for by their contract, employees who are constantly rude to their boss will remain in their places (or in others, the same) for many more years. So they will walk, and whine, grumble and complain. And those who are looking for the right approach to the authorities (not to be confused with nasty toadying and licking - this is, firstly, disgusting, and secondly, it almost never works), very soon they themselves will become bosses, and other people will have to look for an approach - to them . The choice, as always, is yours.

The AskMen website has compiled a list of 10 phrases that are not recommended to be spoken in the presence of a leader. According to the compilers of the rating, it is enough to exclude them from your working vocabulary to do yourself, your boss and your career an invaluable service.%cut%

A manager perceives a simple sigh of an employee as hidden aggression, which is why the compilers of the rating put him in first place. Sometimes one breath is enough in the presence of a leader, and you can cause a whole flurry of questions and even accusations. “Even if you didn’t mean anything bad, you will have to defend yourself,” the rating compilers say. “However, we all know that a sigh in itself means irritation and discontent.”

"I don't get paid enough for this"

In 99% of cases, the employee who said this will make a mistake. This is because this phrase belongs to the most common excuses for work. And the most popular answer to it may be: "Then quit and look for another place for your huge untapped potential!". "The phrase 'I'm not getting paid for this' or 'I'm not getting paid enough for this' can only irritate the boss, and only people who think you're right, like your mom, can understand you," the ranking's compilers say.

"I had so much fun last night"

Perhaps you are just bragging about last night, unaware that your boss already knows why you are not keeping up with your work plan. Such conversations can also make him think that for an employee there is no boundary between work and personal life, and perhaps he is completely devoid of brakes. Therefore, you should not trust him with responsible projects.

"I will add you as a friend on Odnoklassniki / VKontakte"

"No, it's not worth it! Never. And if you do not understand this, then your manager will certainly be disappointed," the rating compilers say. Such a proposal can put the boss in an awkward position. He may be stupid enough to agree, but it's better for everyone if he refuses. This does not mean that you cannot easily chat with him at an office party, but social networks will not open the door to a subordinate in his private life.

"It is so simple!"

Such a phrase may simply be unpleasant for the leader, and if it is still pronounced with an appropriate condescending tone, then it will certainly cause offense. Even if the employee just wants to show that the task is easy for him to do, the boss will almost certainly translate it as follows: "After all, everything is obvious here. How can you be so dumb?".

"I've already done everything. Does anyone need this?"

By asking such a question, you thereby question the expediency of your own work, and this is unpleasant not only for you, but also for the manager. After all, it is no coincidence that he gave you a lot of time to complete the task, but to insure yourself against mistakes.

"This is not part of my direct responsibilities"

The fact is that a lot of what employees do during the day is not included in the job description, for example, correspondence with friends or aimless hanging on the Internet. However, it is difficult to find a person who does not do this. So, if the boss asks for some trifle, you don’t have to immediately declare your rights and obligations.

"It's not my problem"

Firstly, this phrase still implies the presence of a certain problem, and secondly, either a colleague or the boss himself needs help. Therefore, you should not once again emphasize your isolation from the team, but rather try to help without further ado.

"Is that all they can do?"

Words like these can refer to anything from new office phones to meals at a corporate event. However, this phrase signals to the manager that you are disappointed and do not appreciate the efforts made to improve working conditions.

"It's Impossible"

This is just one of many similar phrases that signal to the boss that his employee does not show appropriate efforts, and perhaps is completely indifferent to the matter. Therefore, if you have not even thought about how to approach the problem from what angle, you should not immediately abandon the task.

The leaders themselves hold different opinions about "freedom of speech" in the office. So, the president of the Coffee House chain of coffee houses, Vladislav Dudakov, admitted that he simply cannot stand phrases like "It's impossible to do." "The thing is, to be honest, I can't stand pessimists at all," he says. "If a person is pessimistic, it's hard for me to work with him."
In turn, the president of the Association of Russian Banks, Garegin Tosunyan, trusts his subordinates. And, if one of them says that he cannot do something, then it is so. "My employees have the right to say whatever they want," he says.