The basic rules of a compliment in business communication on specific examples. Compliments in official relations to a Partner who managed to convince someone

Starting the topic of compliments, I thought only that "these are all wonderful moments of love." However, later, when the focus was narrowed down to the topic "Compliments at work", I realized that a compliment is a powerful and terrible weapon and you need to use it carefully and competently, because. it can raise a person from the ashes, but it can also plunge you into a whirlpool of trouble ....

Today we will talk about the art of a compliment in the field. Those. how to show your affection to a person so that the wolves are fed, and the sheep are safe, and the shepherd is alive and well ...

We will talk about situations when you really admire the actions of a colleague, want to express it, but at the same time do not want to be misunderstood.

Giving compliments at work is like walking on a razor's edge. The result may be very far from what you expected.

If you want to express your admiration or approval, but do not aim to have an on-the-job affair, then you need to know in advance the pitfalls that lie in wait for you in this field.

It's not a secret for anyone that non-verbal perception prevails over verbal one, or, in other words, HOW you say it is more important than WHAT you say.

Imagine your boss says: "Colleague, you did an excellent job with this project. I was pleasantly surprised by the level at which you solved the tasks. I look forward to further work with you"

Simple, rather kind, but also moderately dry phrases. Now imagine that the boss says all this in a low voice, taking you to an intimate corner, standing close to you and twisting your hair around your finger ... A completely different perception, and the meaning, apparently, is completely different.

Compliments - on the razor's edge ...

As an illustration, consider a wonderful film by Eldar Ryazanov. Moreover, it is fortunate for us that there are two service lines: a female boss - a male subordinate and a male boss - a female subordinate.

Situation 1. A male subordinate wants career growth and, on the advice of a friend, begins to court the boss. A lonely female boss is deprived of male and purely human attention, and therefore behaves harshly and even rudely. To flourish, it is enough for her to feel the interest of the seemingly most unprepossessing employee...

His compliments are awkward, stupid and ridiculous - "I have no one dearer than you for several days now." But there is something in him ... and no one has cared for her for a long time ... but deep down she is still a woman ... It turned out not what was planned: she turned out to be a wonderful, gentle and sensitive person, he felt like a man, confident and strong able to support a "weak" woman. And it all started with banal compliments.

Situation 2. The boss wants only a career, and cupids at work do not fit into his plans. This is a normal attitude, but he makes the mistake of lavishing compliments on the women in the organization, including his former lover. In his opinion, he behaves adequately: amiable, correct, and with other women this model of behavior works perfectly ... But in the compliments addressed to Olechka, intimate tenderness is heard.

And the problem is that there is no intimacy, no tenderness, in general, for a long time, but the seeds fall on fertile soil - artificial (in memory of the past) tenderness revives true love, which knows no conventions and cannot stop ... "You have no flaws. You are made up of only virtues"- this is not a compliment, this is a confession ... Who is to blame? He was courteous on duty with compliments... just in the wrong tone.

What do you want in your workplace? Find a new love or strengthen the team? Flirt or make a career?

A compliment is a terrible force and in inept hands can lead to unpredictable consequences..

If you do not want your colleague to flirt with you, and then call you at home and breathe hot in your wife's ear, keep in mind: your compliments should not feel love and care. Only Respect.

Compliments are harder for men. It is enough for them to feel your respect in order to become interested in you, and sincere compliments simply do not happen without respect. How to be? There is a nuance here. If you do not want to be pressed in dark corners, you should pronounce your compliments with self-respect, as an equal to an equal (in the end, even though he, say, is your boss, but the same, in essence, a mere mortal). Only your respect for yourself will make others respect you.

Universal rules for a compliment in office conditions

For managers to subordinates:

1. It's better to say compliments in front of other people.
2. Compliments about professionalism, not about appearance
3. Compliments should not be ambiguous both in words and in tone.
4. The touch should be neutral: put a hand on the shoulder, pat on the shoulder, shake hands
5. Compliments should not be numerous, with or without reason - this will be perceived as flirting or as pressure

For subordinates to management:

1. Better in the presence of other people
2. Not excited!!! Except when something out of the ordinary happened, for example, the boss saved the Universe from aliens or, at worst, the company from collapse and brought it to the leaders. Otherwise, your words and superiors and colleagues will be perceived as undisguised flattery.
3. Talk only about existing virtues, those that a person himself knows and highly appreciates.
4. Compliments should not be ambiguous or promising
5. Touch should not be! If your admiration for the actions of the leadership knows no bounds, you can ask permission to shake hands - there is such a thing as subordination.
6. Compliments should not be ingratiating - this will be perceived as obsequious

What to praise or neutral compliment topics?

1. company
2. team
3. Hobby, if you know about it or a cursory examination of the office catches your eye
4. children
5. Job well done
6. Qualities of character
7. Skills
8. Demonstrated erudition (only if you own the subject yourself)

Compliments in a letter

Perhaps for management - this is the best way to maintain good relations in the team. But there is also a condition

1. Letters should be sent to all team members
2. The text should not be universal, printed "carbon copy"
3. Each letter should contain an individual text, it will take a lot of time, but it will pay off many times over with the loyalty of the team
4. Praise in a letter should not be a cliché.
5. The letter should not take up three pages. Enough postcards

How to write such a letter

1. Think about what actions you are grateful for this particular person.
2. Write down five qualities for which you respect this person. Try very hard - every person has such qualities
3. Compose a letter. Use the diagram first

Words are the most powerful drug humanity uses!
Kipling

We are surrounded by an interesting world. We move in a constant stream of communication: work, relatives, friends, leisure… Is it possible to manage what is happening around? How to learn how to influence people and promote correct, easy communication, in which the right opinion about you will be formed.

During productive communication, we can awaken certain feelings and interests in a person, change his attitudes, intentions, ideas and assessments.

With the help of the proposed techniques, you can form positive qualities in people, positive habits, change their lifestyle, and help achieve results. You, too, will not remain in the loser - you will get what you want.

We all know how to give compliments. I will tell you how to strengthen them and make them most effective. And how to use them.

So, compliment. It is easy to implement, capacious, targeted, helps to establish good relationships with people. In ancient times, the Roman poet Publius Cyrus correctly noted this: “We are interested in other people when they are interested in us.”

Before moving on to methods that increase the effectiveness of a compliment, it is necessary to note the factors that reduce it:

1) Use of words ( probably, maybe and etc.) convey doubts about the truth of what was said, or impose restrictions ( today or enough and so on.).

Example: " You are smart enough." "You look good today." “Behind such a leader, probably,All employees will go.

2) The use of standard phrases or a compliment to the quality that everyone says to this

3) You yourself do not believe in what you say!

Methods that enhance the effectiveness of a compliment:

Before you give a compliment, you need to understand HOW you will do it, with what intonation, facial expressions. Sincerity is a necessary condition. From HOW it is pronounced, 70% of success will depend and 30% will bring the correct speech construction.

1) Such a method as detailing will help build a non-standard compliment.

• Use of original epithets. Example: In contrast to the usual: “What beautiful hair you have”, you can suggest replacing hair with “strands” or “curls”, that is, detailing. And if you add meaningful epithets, such as " silky", "fiery", "flowing", "playfully flowing", you can achieve sophistication, lightness and non-standard. Example: " I admire your curls, playfully falling on your beautiful shoulders!

Reliability and truthfulness are the most important criteria for any compliment. Most people tend to question new information, so praise must be backed up.

• Facts are the best evidence.

- "Summing up the results of the last period showed your ability to concentrate on work best of all."

• Use of numerals:

“After yesterday’s meeting, all 26 directors spoke very positively about you.”

2) Help improve efficiency comparison with an authoritative image, representing in our society a certain standard that needs to be leveled.

— « How are you professional in the field of trade, be sure to evaluate our product ”(and the interlocutor, if he considers himself an expert in this field, will have no choice but to pay due attention to the proposed product).

- Or " You are an intelligent person consider my thoughts progressive.

— « You are like a real athlete showed a high class in the game.

Everyone is happy to meet the standard.

3) A very good way pay attention to the strengths of the interlocutor, which not everyone tells him about, and to his achievements. For example:

— Judging by your optimism, you are up to this difficult task.

— your positive energy energizes the whole team.

— your kindness disposes to trust.

Have you called 30 clients? Amazing performance for a beginner, tomorrow this number will definitely increase!

- Honey, I'm always happy as a girl your ability to make gifts!

IMPORTANT: In the above methods, the design itself also plays an important role: - " How are you…", "Judging by your way ...". Further in the text, ways of constructing compliments using such “magic” appeals will be given.

4 ) Emphasis on qualities that you would like to see in a person. What to do if the desired positive quality is absent or weakly manifested? It is necessary to track when a person accomplishes a small “feat” and highlight it. Once having experienced pride in himself, he will want to continue to receive such positive emotions in the future. This is a great opportunity to correct human behavior.

Example: It is important for a vulnerable person, in a rare moment of demonstration of confidence, to hear:

“There was so much personal strength in your actions that people with a strong inner core have.”

Another example:

- You are annoyed by the carelessness of your husband, scattered things. How can the situation be corrected? It should be noted in which area of ​​life this quality is most strongly developed. Perhaps in the field of planning and systematization of affairs, in cutting vegetables or a perfect shave. The task is to focus attention on it in its positive manifestation, backed up with praise. The more often a person hears about his neatness, the greater the likelihood that he will transfer this property to other areas.

5) It's important to notice the qualities by which the achievement is made.

- This company was able to create just such ideological and charismatic leader like you.

6) A compliment can be based on removal of negative emotional states. If you know the complex of a person, you can eliminate it by skillfully using the following techniques.

- A loving man is delighted with the whole appearance of his chosen one, sincerely praising every part of her desired body, thereby removing the woman's former complexes. Example: "Honey, I admire the slender line of your legs."

- Children often feel fear before any action, being unsure that they will cope with it. An encouraging compliment is a faithful assistant in the fight against this phenomenon. Example: "Your previous drawings were very well liked by everyone, we are looking forward to new ones."

- If a person strives for recognition, for example, an employee at work, the manager can always motivate her performance with phrases: you are needed - you are needed - where am I without you

7) Negative qualities always have an opposite positive side.. If you want to reverse the polarity of a quality, you need to emphasize it with admiration or praise. But to do this in a situation where it acts not as a minus, but as a plus.

- You can say to a miserly spouse: "Darling, your savings have reduced the costs of your company." (Bypassing accusations of personal stinginess, we have emphasized the area in which a negative quality is transformed into a positive one).

- It is better for a selfish person to say: "Thanks to your dedication, perseverance, you were able to achieve a promotion in your career."

8) It is very effective to direct a compliment to a person - « Only you…". This emphasizes the uniqueness of the interlocutor.

- in our company only you own the latest technologies in personnel management.

Hypnotic phrases in Compliment

• "I know…" — increase the effectiveness of their undeniable. And it is taken as a fact.

— I know you are a magician!

- I I know, You are our sage!

• "You immediately feel…" After it, you need to insert the quality on which you would like to focus.

For example:

— Immediately felt, what do you possess, special patience!

— Immediately felt, what do you understand economic terminology!

10) Using your feelings is a very powerful technique. Phrases such as:

• « I'm pleased ... "(substitute the desired quality):

— I'm pleased deal with a person who has such a sense of humor!

• « Very interesting…" (substitute) - hear your authoritative opinion!

• “It gives me great joy…” (substitute) - “communication with such a glorious child like you!”

— “It gives me special joy to communicate with such a glorious child like you!”

11) Add-on from below. The phrases seem to say that you are not fully versed in this matter, and your interlocutor is clearly in the lead: "I envy ...", "I'm learning from you ..." . Yielding primacy, you achieve location and at the same time influence on the interlocutor.

— I envy how well you treat your employees.

— I envy your taste.

— I am always learning from you, your system.

Man to woman:

I watch and envy your style! Options: - the ability to cook well, - skillfully build phrases.

Woman to man:

— I envy your ability to speak briefly and to the point.

12) No less strong impact on the interlocutor will have phrase with the use of an adverb - "first …»

— my first time I felt such positive energy.

— my first time I meet such an interesting and inquisitive person.

13) “A compliment is like a kiss through a veil!” (Victor Marie Hugo) The following method is good because acts not directly, but through a veil of hobbies, hobbies, objects of love and reverence.

• For example, a woman is praised through children:

“I envy your child that he has such a mother!”

- Only such a caring woman can have such developed children!

• If a man is proud of his chosen one:

- Such a man is entitled to such a diamond;

You have great taste in women.

• Wife of a friend:

- Judging by the appearance and success of your husband, it is immediately clear that a wise woman is next to him!

• Looking at the photo:

— Your confident posture in the photo characterizes you as a person with clear leadership abilities.

• Through sports:

- yes, only real athletes choose brands of balls of this class.

• Through food, clothes, etc.

- You have good taste.

You are a true gourmet.

Winning methods for using compliments in everyday situations.

1) The following method pleases in that it is effective at the moment of its miss. It is good for removing feelings of self-guilt. It is necessary to get rid of this unproductive quality. How? By switching attention from your misconduct to positive properties in an offended person.

Example: A man showed imprudence, looking at another woman in the presence of his wife and, in a look full of claims, immediately noticed:

— Honey, your figure is much better.

- What a spectacular you are, I compare and am proud that I am going with you.

05.10.2017

How often in business life do we need to establish contact with the interlocutor? Remember: you came to a meeting with a stranger, you have limited time, and you should not just tell a potential client about the possibilities of insurance, you need to have time to make friends with him. Otherwise, he will not tell you anything about himself or his family, and your meeting will turn out to be just a waste of time. Or another situation. You have come to a business exhibition. And your goal is to collect as many contacts of potential clients or new consultants as possible. That is, in a short time, 3-5 minutes, you need to have time to win over the interlocutor. At the same time, your task is not just to get acquainted, but to make a business acquaintance.

The easiest way to establish contact with a stranger is to compliment him.

Almost every day we make compliments to relatives, friends, colleagues. A compliment is the easiest way to please someone. And with a stranger, thanks to a compliment, you can easily establish contact, make an acquaintance or make friends. In this article, we will talk not just about a compliment, but about a compliment that we can use in business communication. This is a business compliment. Remember the very first stage of the meeting. Relaxation. Sometimes we do not know what to say to a stranger, especially in the first minute. The simplest phrases that we often use are: what a beautiful office you have, how easy it is to get to you. Everyone has their own preparation for such a case. Often the manager instructs the counselor not to continue talking about insurance programs until contact has been made. But has it ever happened to you that contact is established in the middle or at the very end of the meeting, because only at the end of the conversation did you finally find a common topic for discussion? In order to shorten the process of establishing contact as much as possible, you can use a business compliment. The simplicity of this method lies in the fact that absolutely every person can sincerely say something pleasant. And the more pleasant it is for people to communicate with you, the more they will trust you and the higher will be the chance of a successful deal. Of course, any sincere compliment is good in itself. But some compliments are better than others.

There are simple rules for a business compliment:

• Avoid trivial compliments. Give specific compliments.
• Don't just focus on the obvious. Pay attention to subtle details.
• If you're praising a person, it's not enough to just compliment them. Tell me why you say that.

And now in more detail.

1. Avoid trite compliments. Give specific compliments. Banal, ordinary compliments our interlocutor hears every day (how good you look, you have a beautiful smile, what a beautiful office you have). And it is important for us that when meeting, the interlocutor remembers us and expresses a desire to talk about himself. When giving a compliment, we often start using ordinary words: Fine! Awesome! Great!

Even a simple replacement of such general expressions with more expressive ones can significantly color your compliment.

Let's practice.

Instead of great - great!

Good - impressive!

Interesting - exciting!

Kind - caring!

When a person hears compliments, he seeks to hear something definite about himself.

Specific compliments sound truer and more realistic.

Because it is the specificity of the compliment that allows the interlocutor to feel his sincerity and truthfulness.

We are used to giving people general and banal compliments.

You can just say to the manager you came to meet: "You have a very good secretary".

And you say: “You have a professional secretary. She warned me in advance that you would be late.”.

When people say good words to us, we are pleased that our interlocutor noticed in us what we are proud of.

Compare:

Your new business suit is just wonderful.

Your new suit is very elegant.You look professional in it. Would like to do business with you.

If you find it difficult to make a compliment specific, just add the word "because" to the compliment. So let's try:

Your speech was great because you had great contact with the audience and the stories from your experience made a strong impression on us.

You are very caring, because you always find time for little things that bring joy.

You are very attentive, because you always notice in people what they are especially proud of.

You have changed the style. This new suit really suits you because it reflects your personality and organization.

My partner is the best because...

Your story is very instructive because...

Complimenting with specific language is easy. You just need to be sincere and make it a habit for yourself. And it is impossible to do business compliments in a different way. Otherwise, they will appear stretched.

2. Avoid paying attention only to the obvious. Pay attention to subtle details.

When we comment on perfectly obvious positive qualities, it makes less impression than when we notice hidden traits.

Compare:

You prepared and delivered your presentation very well.

You made a good presentation, because everyone was sitting without breathing - listening to you. And the joke at the end is especially good.

You made a good presentation. You have a good memory, and you simply blew the audience away with concrete facts.

The more hidden details people notice, the more sincere their words seem. Don't focus too much on external qualities. They are visible to everyone. Focus on the inside.

“You have a new portfolio! You have a stylish haircut!”- how easy it is to make compliments regarding external qualities, because it is the appearance of a person that we see in the first place. The point is also that, by complimenting only appearance, we ourselves, without realizing it, let people know that external data is more important for us. And this is most likely false. After all, our real virtues are our character, our abilities and achievements, they express our essence. It's not about stopping complimenting the other person's appearance. But if you pay attention to the inner qualities of a person, you will see that it is much more pleasant for people to hear something about themselves that is not striking.

Practice. The next time you start praising someone's outer qualities, shift your focus to their inner qualities. Instead of " You have a great smile!" Tell: " Your smile is contagious! People around you are always in a good mood».

3. If you're praising a person, it's not enough to just compliment them. Tell me why you say that.

For example, if you praise someone's work - tell us why this work is so unusual! If you run an agency, you will certainly be pleased to hear from managers and consultants that you are an excellent leader. But at the same time, you understand that your job is precisely to be a good leader. You want to know what exactly makes you so in the eyes of your colleagues.

You are an excellent leader, because you can stop any conflict situation. There is always a positive working atmosphere in our agency.

As a leader, you are an example for us. You can intelligently balance work and personal life. You all succeed.

« I have a great financial advisor. Talk to him, because he, like a real doctor, does not just talk about insurance options, he works with the needs and feelings of clients. And he will select options that will solve exactly your life issues.».

More examples:

You have time to work and study at the same time. This speaks of your willpower and a serious ability to self-organize.

You know how to speak to large audiences. You do it very naturally and convincingly.

Knowing how to properly make business compliments is a kind of art. And the more often you do it, the better you get.

How to Accept Compliments Another way to create a welcoming environment is to learn how to accept compliments the right way. Yes Yes. You also need to be able to accept compliments. And it turns out that many people find it difficult to accept praise in their address.

How do we respond to compliments? Remember!

Irina, you have an amazing hairstyle today. Well, I haven't dyed my hair in a long time.

Mikhail, your speech was interesting and emotional. - Don't worry, I was so worried.

Alexander, there is a magnificent painting hanging on this wall. - Well, what are you, she just closes the spot on the wallpaper.

Maria, you have such an elegant suit. Thanks, he's really old.

Did you recognize yourself? Did you smile? Now seriously.

Many of us automatically reject compliments. When we react to compliments in this way, we humiliate the words of the interlocutor. We kind of doubt his words. And we nullify all his sincerity and desire to please us. Whatever the reason for our resistance, we must learn to accept a compliment with gratitude. Otherwise, we injure the interlocutor who complimented us. But sometimes you need to muster up the courage to dare to say something to people, all the more pleasant.

It's better to answer like this:

How nice of you to notice.

Thank you for your attention.

It's so kind of you.

And finally, the most important secret of a business compliment, which will help you easily “reveal” your interlocutor.

It is best if the person does not just hear and accept your compliment, but really perceives it. And it's very easy to do it!

After giving a compliment, ask the person a question.

You are a very rich person. It must not have been easy to earn such a fortune. It speaks of your determination and courage. Tell us where did you start?

You have so many diplomas hanging on your wall. You are probably a very popular person in your professional circles. Why did you receive them?

Answering your question, the interlocutor, firstly, will automatically agree with what you said, that is, he will accept your compliment. And secondly, when answering a question, he will tell a lot of interesting things about himself, which will then help you easily transfer the conversation to his family and loved ones.

And in this way you will be able to quickly establish contact, win over an interlocutor, acquire a business partner and one more friend. After all, a business compliment will help you maintain a business relationship.

Wagging its tail, the dog earns its livelihood, and barking, it receives only beatings.

Eastern wisdom

For success in business communication, you should remember that the more pleasant it is for people to communicate, the higher will be the chance to successfully solve a business problem or make a deal. Show business partners that you are interested in them compliments , that is, pleasant words containing a slight exaggeration of the positive qualities of a person.

The ability to give a person the opportunity to realize their own significance helps to get what they want faster. The ability to evaluate someone's work, to recognize its usefulness and indispensability, to say nice words to a person creates the conditions for effective interaction.

Why give compliments?

a person heard a compliment in his address about a certain quality of his personality;

Due to the functioning of the installation on the desirability of this quality, it is accepted as a reality at the subconscious level;

· there is a feeling of satisfaction;

The feeling of satisfaction is always accompanied by the emergence of positive emotions (feeling pleasant);

· the arisen positive emotions are connected according to the law of association with their source and are transferred to the one who caused them;

There is an attraction to this person.

Praising our business partners, we help them to feel significant in the eyes of others, create a friendly atmosphere of business contact. By evoking a smile or a pleasant surprise from our partner in our own words, we are distracted from our own problems and cheer up. Finally, the more compliments we give people, the more pleasant words come back to us.

How to give compliments?

A.Yu. Panasyuk in the book “Managerial communication. Practical Tips” formulated rules that reveal the psychological mechanism of the influence of a compliment on a person.

No ambiguity

A compliment should reflect only the positive qualities of a person. In a compliment, double meaning should be avoided. And here the rule is clearly violated: “Listening to your conversations with people, every time I am surprised at your ability to evade the answer so subtly and witty!”.

No hyperbole

A positive quality in a compliment should have only a slight exaggeration.

Given the high opinion

An important factor in the effectiveness of this technique is the person's own opinion about the level of qualities reflected in the compliment. If the compliment is lower in significance than the partner's self-esteem, then for him such a compliment is commonplace, and the consequences can be negative.

· Unpretentious

The partner may not strive to improve this quality. Moreover, he believes that it would be bad if this positive quality was expressed in him more strongly than it is, so a compliment to such a quality that is strongly manifested can cause him offense.

No didactics

This rule is that a compliment should only state the presence of this quality, and not contain recommendations or practical advice on how to improve it.

· Without seasonings

For example, “Your hands are golden, but your tongue is your enemy” or “I am very impressed with your ability to win people over. Only now, if this ability is in the interests of the cause. Such “seasonings” are a “fly in the ointment” and reduce or even nullify even the best compliment.

Rules:

embed words-compliments in the general phrase;

Do not pause

construct the phrase so that a meaningful text follows the compliment; the longer the general phrase after the compliment words, the better;

It is desirable to build the statement so that the part of the general phrase after the words-compliments contains something that would capture the attention of the listener.

Each person seeks to hear something definite about himself, because it is the specificity of the compliment that allows a person to feel his truthfulness and sincerity. In addition, most people think that a person who has noticed some nuances of our personality and noted them with a compliment is actually showing a sincere interest in us.

When, while giving compliments, we constantly comment on completely obvious positive qualities, this makes less impression than if we notice hidden traits. The more hidden “little things” our colleagues, business communication partners notice, the more sincere their words seem. Moreover, by making such a sincere compliment, we not only help the person feel our respect, but we ourselves understand why we respect this person.

By the way, a compliment has a positive effect even when your partner treats you with hostility. Within the framework of business interaction, making a compliment situationally appropriate and adequate to the expectations of a business partner, you can win him over, change the negative attitude.

If compliments tell you

Each person should not only be able to give compliments, but also learn how to accept them correctly. As the practice of business interaction shows, it is very difficult for people to accept praise addressed to them. Most automatically reject compliments, which you shouldn't do under any circumstances. Firstly, you offend the one who said nice words to you, and secondly, you should be grateful to this person: you accept a positive assessment and begin to believe it.

Follow a simple rule, just answer "Thank you."

Examples of compliments for business interaction

Situation	Compliment
When a partner managed to achieve more during negotiations than was planned	How do you manage to win over people like that?
When a partner noted something characteristic and important for the company	I didn’t know before that you are so subtly and well versed in people, you are an amazing analyst!
In response to a kind smile, clearly addressed to you	Did you know that your smile is simply disarming!
After lengthy negotiations that ended successfully for you	It is always a pleasure to deal with such a partner!
When the conversation ended successfully	What a pleasure to work with such an interesting partner!
A partner who unexpectedly opened your eyes to something	By talking with you, you can learn a lot!
To a partner who, unexpectedly for the participants in the discussion, flashed erudition	I am always amazed by the breadth of your horizons!
To a partner who was a participant in the conflict, but refrained from retaliating	How did you manage to cultivate such restraint in yourself?
In a situation where the partner could easily “break loose”, but did not	Your perseverance and endurance always amaze me!
A partner who, despite the difficulties, brought the matter to the end	Your will is to be envied!
A partner who still achieved his goal	It's great that you have such a persistent character! You are such a purposeful person, how I miss it!
To a partner who selflessly sacrificed something for the sake of another	I am bribed by your kindness and responsiveness!
A partner who negotiated in a difficult, conflict situation and managed to complete them effectively	Did you know that your energy simply energizes others!
To a partner who made a good report or message	What a wonderful speech you have! Listening to you is a delight!
To a partner who has achieved great results in negotiations for the first time and is embarrassed by this himself	You are being modest! Your abilities speak for you! (long known!)
To the partner who, during the discussion from memory, provided the necessary data, interesting information	You have an encyclopedic memory! Your erudition is amazing!
A partner who managed to convince someone	Your logic and ability to convince can be envied!
To the performer who coped with the unpleasant, routine work	It's great that you have such a persistent character!
A person who found an approach to a difficult client	I didn’t know before that you are so subtly and well versed in people!
Organizer of various events	I am sure that in this case it is difficult to surpass you!
Master of all trades	It is true what they say, you really have "golden hands"!

The compliment also has a cultural specificity. So, some compliments to women can make a very strange impression on the carriers of a different culture. In India, for example, you can flatter a woman by comparing her to a cow and her walk to that of an elephant. A good compliment to a Japanese woman is a comparison with a snake, a Tatar and a Bashkir woman - with a leech, personifying the perfection of forms and movements. Appeal to the woman "Goose!" in Russian culture - an insult, and in Egypt - an affectionate compliment.

Questions for self-control

1. What is a compliment?

2. Do I need to give compliments in a business interaction?

3. Why do you need to give compliments?

4. Why are the "not too noticeable details" seen cause more positive emotions?

5. How to personalize a compliment?

6. How appropriate to behave in response to a compliment?

7. What is the role of a compliment in relieving emotional stress?

8. When is it appropriate to give compliments?

9. What are the benefits of complimenting against an anti-compliment?

10. List the positive feelings that a person experiences when listening to compliments addressed to him?

11. What is the essence of the "golden words" technique?

Exercise 1

All participants in the lesson sit in a large circle, everyone should carefully look at the partner sitting on the left and think about what character trait, what habit of this person he likes, and he wants to say about it, that is, make a compliment.

Any member of the group who is ready to say nice words to his partner, sitting on the left, starts. During the presentation, all participants should listen carefully to the speaker. The participant who is complimented must, at a minimum, thank, and then, having established contact with the partner sitting to his left, make his compliment; and so on in a circle until all participants exchange compliments.

Task 2

Divide into pairs and for one minute say nice words to each other. Everyone chooses the compliment that he liked the most.

Task 3

An object is passed around the circle in random order. The participant transferring the item must name the quality that unites him with the person to whom he transfers the item.

At the same time, he begins his phrase with the words: Name, I think we are united with you ... "and calls this quality, for example:" You and I are equally sociable.

The one who receives the item answers: "I agree" if he agrees, or "I will think about it" if he does not agree. Even if you do not agree that you have this quality, all the same, what the partner reports carries some useful information about how we look in the eyes of other people.

Task 4

Participants are invited to identify qualities in other people that cause admiration, respect or sympathy.

The task is carried out in a circle or in writing. The partner in this task is the participant in the lesson with whom they are least familiar. Which makes the task more difficult. The first one to start says: Name. I like you…” The person, in turn, must name the feelings that arose in him in response to these words.

Since the majority of participants, reacting to words, say most often what is pleasant or unpleasant for them, it is necessary to complicate the task to the awareness of feelings, for example, speaking about positive emotional states, it is necessary to specify them: I am happy, I enjoyed, experienced delight, felt happy, there was hope, self-confidence. Pride seized me, I triumphed, and so on.

Tasks for independent work

1. Find a similarity (commonality) with a person whom you met just a few days or even hours ago. Try to find not one or even three, but, say, 20 qualities that are common to you and this person.

2. Find something in common with the person you really dislike. Try to find not one or even three, but, say, 20 qualities that are common to you and this person.

3. Try during the day at least 2-5 times to emphasize the importance of those people with whom you work, communicate - correctly assess the significance of their contribution to the common cause. Mark successful ideas, suggestions, express respect, sympathy, etc. to them. Sincere recognition of the other person's worth will not only help relieve tension in relationships, but will also develop the ability to unconditionally accept other people.

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Confessions Good morning Good night Miss you Apologies Mood Love

Your appearance is just a standard.
Bruce Willis, Gichard Gere, Alain Delon
They don't even come close to you
They smoke nervously and stand on the sidelines!

I am for eyes like yours,
And the car would give, and shelter.
Well, the legs! I have not seen better.
Ready to throw millions at them!

I am for what was said in the answer.
Compliments do not litter.
Oh, those lovely women!
Enchant - and instantly ruin ...

Your clear eyes are charming and radiant. You are light as a butterfly. You are so fragile and thin that it seems that you can be carried away by a light breeze. Therefore, I want to constantly hold you by the gentle hand, never ceasing to admire you.

In the look - affection and attention,
In a smile - a sea of ​​\u200b\u200bcharm,
In movements - dexterity seal,
Can't resist you!

Your smile is sweet like chocolate
And your jokes are always sharp.
Your figure is the envy of birches,
Able to dry any grief tears.

Meeting with you brings good luck to everyone,
And a million smiles, no less!
And your beauty shines so brightly
That overshadows all the princesses in the world.

You are such a wonderful and unique person, like a charming rainbow shining with all the colors of life: you also combine the light of the sun and goodness with a rain of harmfulness and rare whims!

Your taste will make designers
Feel insignificant.
Your mind will always guide others
And he will probably do everything he can.
You are not touched by grumpiness and doubt,
You are not a person, but a complete feast for the eyes.

You are beautiful in body and soul
Your bright face and gentle look.
Whatever compliment you give
Everything around you is out of place.

Outshine you princess of the night
And a beauty queen
Look at you - there is no urine,
You are a dream come true.

What a sweet gait you have: like a boat you cut through the sea of ​​\u200b\u200blife! And those waves that come from you do not harm anyone, but simply make the entire male population tremble!

Broad as a mountain are your shoulders,
And kindness sparkles in the eyes,
The girls follow everything with their eyes:
You are like a dream to each of them.

Your eyes are calling, shining,
Like two diamonds
Give me just one look
And you will take away the mind immediately.

And behind your smile
Ready for the end of the world
Go, leaving all friends,
Workers and poets.

Beauty like yours is a big problem for jewelers: none of them can create a piece of jewelry that is not overshadowed by your appearance. Any jewelry on you becomes dull.

Pygmalion sculpting Galatea
I didn't see you. If there was a chance,
He would stop the stupid idea,
He would understand that you are much better!

I could compliment your features
Freeze in admiration before the figure,
I could say that you are the prettiest of all,
And your mind is perfect, no doubt!

But these are all details. I'm afraid,
What I can't say is the most important:
With delight and excitedly I praise your taste -
You know which fan is the coolest!

How stunning you look today! Hollywood stars pale in comparison to you! I always want to admire you: please share at least a drop of your beauty with your humble admirer!

Alina Ogonyok