“Dad died, and we were no longer needed.” How mixed families live in Chechnya

My father is Chechen and my mother is Chechen. My father lived to be 106 years old and married 11 times. By the second marriage, he married a Jewish woman, Sofya Mikhailovna from Odessa. I always call her and only her “mother”. She called me Moishe.

This is when all Chechens were resettled in Central Asia. We lived in Frunze. I spent all my days with the boys in the yard.

Moishe! she screamed. - Come here.

What mom?

Come here, I'll tell you why you're so skinny. Because you never see the bottom of the plate. Go eat your soup. And then you will go.

“Moysha has a good mixture,” they said in the yard, “mother is a Jew, father is a Nazi.” Exiled Chechens were considered fascists there. Mom did not eat herself, but gave everything to me. She went to visit her friends from Odessa Fira Markovna and Maya Isaakovna - they lived richer than us - and brought me a piece of strudel or something else.

Moishe, this is for you.

Mom, are you eating?

I don't want.

I began to lead a circle at the meat-packing plant, taught ballroom and Western dances. For this I received a bag of horse bones. Mom tore off pieces of meat from them and made cutlets in half with bread, and the bones went to the broth. At night, I threw the bones away from home so that they would not know that they were ours. She knew how to cook a delicious meal out of nothing. When I began to earn a lot, she cooked chicken necks, tsimes. She cooked herring in such a way that one could go crazy! My friends at the Kyrgyz Opera and Ballet Theater still remember: “Misha! How your mother fed us all!”

But at first we were very poor. Mom said: “Tomorrow we are going to the wedding to Melomedy. There we eat gefilte fish, goose cracklings. We don't have this at home. Just don't be shy, eat more."

I already danced well and sang "Varnechkes". It was my mother's favorite song. She listened to it like the anthem of the Soviet Union. And she loved Tamara Khanum because she sang "Varnechkes".

Mom said: “At the wedding you will be asked to dance. Dance, then rest, then sing. When you sing, don't move your neck. You are not a giraffe. Don't look at everyone. Stand against me and sing for your mommy, the rest will listen." I saw the rabbi, the bride and groom under the Chuppah at the wedding. Then everyone sat down at the table. Music played and dances began. Mom said: "Now Moishe will dance." I danced five or six times. Then she said: “Moishe, now sing!” I stood up against her and began: “You are dumb, woo dumb, woo dumb? ..” Mom said: “See what a talent!” And they said to her: “Thank you, Sofya Mikhailovna, that you raised the Jewish boy correctly. Others, after all, are like Russians - they don’t know anything in Jewish.”

She was my stepmother and a gypsy. She taught me to guess and steal in the market. I was very good at stealing. She said: "Zhidenok, come here, we will sing."

I was accepted into the troupe of the Kyrgyz Opera and Ballet Theatre. Mom attended all my performances. Mom asked me:

Moishe, tell me, are Russians a people?

Yes mom.

Are Spaniards people too?

People, mom.

And the Indians?

Are Jews not a people?

Why, mother, also the people.

And if it's the people, then why don't you dance the Jewish dance? In "Eugene Onegin" you dance a Russian dance, in "Lakma" you dance a Hindu dance.

Mom, who will show me the Jewish dance?

I'll show you.

How will you show me? (She was very heavy, probably weighed 150 kg.)

What about legs?

You'll figure it out yourself.

She hummed and showed me "Freylekhs", it is also called "Seven Forty". At 7.40 a train departed from Odessa to Chisinau. And everyone was dancing at the station. I revered Sholom Aleichem and made myself the dance "A Junger Schneider." The costume was made, as it were, from scraps of material that remain with the tailor. The trousers are short, the back is made of a different material. I danced it all. This dance became my encore: for an encore I repeated it three or four times.

Mom said: “Baby, do you think I want you to dance a Jewish dance because I'm Jewish? No. Jews will talk about you: have you seen him do the Brazilian dance? or Spanish dance? They won't talk about Jewish. But they will love you for the Jewish dance.”

In Belarusian cities, in those years when Jewish art was not very encouraged, Jewish spectators asked me: “How did you get a Jewish dance?” I answered: "I allowed myself."

Mom had her own place in the theater. They said: "Misha's mother is sitting here." Mom asked me:

Moishe, you are the best dancer, you get the most applause, why do everyone wear flowers, but you don't?

Mom, we have no relatives.

Isn't that what people wear?

No. Relatives.

Then I come home. We had one room, an iron bed stood against the door. I see: my mother with her head under the bed and something is scurrying about there. I speak:

Mom, get out immediately, I'll get what you need.

Moishe, she says. - I see your legs. Now, make sure I don't see them. Come out.

I walked away, but I saw everything. She pulled out a bag, took out a darned old felt boot from it, and a rag from it. In the rag was a wad of money tied with twine.

Mom, - I say, - where do you get such money from?

Son, I collected so that you do not have to run and look for something to bury mommy. Okay, bury and so.

In the evening I dance in Abdurakhman's Raymond. In the first act, I fly onto the stage in a chic cape, in gold, in a turban. Raymond plays the lute. We meet eyes. We look at each other in fascination. There is a curtain. I haven't actually danced yet, just popped up on stage. After the first act, the administrator gives me a luxurious bouquet. The flowers were handed over to the administrator and told whom to give. After the second act, they give me a bouquet again. After the third - too. I already understood that all this is mommy. The performance was in four acts. So after the fourth there will be flowers. I gave all three bouquets to the administrator and asked in the final to give me all four. He did just that. They said in the theater: “Think, Esambaev was thrown with flowers.” The next day, mommy removed the wilted flowers, it turned out three bouquets, then two, then one. Then she bought flowers again.

One day my mother fell ill and was in bed. And they give me flowers. I bring flowers home and say:

Mom, why did you get up! You need to lie down.

Moishe, she says. - I didn't get up. I can not get up.

Where are the flowers from?

People understood that you deserve flowers. Now they wear it to you.

I became the leading theater artist in Kyrgyzstan, received all the awards there. I love Kyrgyzstan as my Motherland. I was treated like a family member there.

Shortly before Stalin's death, my mother learned from her friend Esfir Markovna that the deportation of all Jews was being prepared. She came home and says to me:

Well, Moishe, as Chechens we were sent here, as Jews we are evicted even further. Barracks are already being built there.

Mom, - I say, - you and I have already learned how to ride. Wherever they send us, we will go there, the main thing is to be together. I will not leave you.

When Stalin died, she said: "Now it will be better." She wanted me to marry a Jewish woman, the daughter of Pakhman from Odessa. And I took care of an Armenian woman. Mom said:

Tell me, Moishe, does she feed you? (This was during the war years.)

No, - I say, - does not feed.

But if you looked after Pachman's daughter...

Mom, she has skinny legs.

And his face is so beautiful, and his hair ... Just think, he needs legs!

When I married Nina, I can’t say that friendship arose between her and my mother.

I started teaching dances at the Ministry of Internal Affairs School - money appeared. I bought my mother a gold watch with a chain, and Nina a white metal watch. Wife says:

You bought your mom with a gold chain instead of buying them for me. I am young, and my mother could wear simple ones.

Nina, - I say, - aren't you ashamed?! What good did mom see in this life? Let at least be glad that she has such a watch.

They stopped talking, but they never fought each other. Only once, when Nina, sweeping the floor, came out with garbage, mother said: “By the way, Moishe, you could marry better.” This is the only thing she said about her.

My daughter was born. Mom took her in her arms, put her between her large breasts, caressed her. The daughter loved her grandmother very much. Then Nina and her mother figured it out on their own. And my mother says to me: “Moishe, I’m looking after Nina, she’s still not bad. And the fact that you did not marry Pachman's daughter is also good: she is spoiled. She wouldn't be able to do that for you." She and Nina began to live together.

During this time, the father had already changed several wives. He lived not far from us. Mom says:

Moishe, your father brought a new nikewa. Go take a look.

Mom, - I say, - she's so scary!

It serves him right.

She died when she was 91 years old. It happened like this. She had a sister Mira. She lived in Vilnius. Came to us in Frunze. She began to invite her mother to stay with her: “Sofa, come! Misha is already a family man. He won't be gone for a month or two without you." As I dissuaded her: “The climate is different there. You can't at your age!" She says, "Moishe, I'll eat a little and then I'll be back." She left and never came back.

She was a very kind person. We lived a wonderful life with her. Never needed my father. She has replaced my own mother. If they were both alive now, I would not know who to approach and hug first.

Good day to all! I am a Chechen! My name is Kheda, I was born and raised, I have been living in Chechnya all my life! My father is a mountain Chechen and my mother is Russian. I want to say right away that I never communicated with guys of a different nation, my brothers would have simply killed me for this. I want to talk about our Vainakhs, as our guys often communicate with girls of other nations, deceive them. You know, I really hurt for the girls, I swear, when I see how our men treat them. I'm not talking about all Chechens, I'm talking about the majority. There are many stories on the forum where Russian girls communicated with Chechens, tolerated temper for years, even forgave assault, and then these guys married their Chechens and broke the hearts of girls. Girls, my dears, I ask you not to waste your nerves on a Chechen. Not a single guy is worth it to forgive beatings, betrayals ... It's just our guys, they rarely take Slavs seriously, most just fool the girls' heads ... Rarely in which cases our guys marry not a Vainashka. And they lie that "parents are against" and that "my parents married me." No one is forcibly marrying guys. There is no such thing for a long time. Lad-sheep, in your opinion, that he can be taken and married?! Even a girl is rarely forced to marry, but there is no such thing about guys at all. It's just a standard excuse when a guy hangs noodles on a Russian girl!
The second point is that guys allow themselves to raise their hand to a woman. For me, this is completely unforgivable. If a guy, meeting with a Vainashka, even touched her with his finger, he would be buried alive with us! We do not forgive such things. After the wedding, this can happen, although there is also a chance that the brothers, if they find out, will take the girl home and beat him themselves! Our guys, if they behave this way towards you, don't let it happen. Do not forgive, such people, they do not change. Once he raised his hand, he does not respect either you or your family, and such a person should not be forgiven, and even more so then dream of marrying him. RUN.
Don't let anyone treat you like that is my advice to you. If a guy loves you, he will marry, even though the whole world will be against it. And if he excuses himself, raises his hand, cheats on you, then he does not love you. And do not waste your nerves, your health on such a man. Believe me, girls, you are alone at home, but there are many guys and you will still find yourself worthy.
My opinion is that it is better to marry your own nation, because your own is always closer. If you marry a Vainakh guy or just a Muslim, you will have to completely rebuild your life. What is normal for a Russian is not normal for a Chechen and vice versa. Are you ready to change the religion in which you grew up for the sake of your loved one? Change your whole lifestyle? Leave old habits? It is very very difficult, I know, since my mother is Russian and I saw how much she suffered in her life, I would not wish such a fate on anyone!
Now I will tell you why I think so.
My mother got married at 17. She met her father when she was 15. Dad was 26 years old when they met. He worked in the city where my mother lived. Came, saw her, fell in love. Mom was very beautiful, and now she is beautiful! Light, naturally blonde, her hair was very long, curly, and her eyes were huge blue, with a purple tint. Well, just like a doll, I sometimes envy even when I look at her pictures in my youth. My dad was an athlete, all his life he was engaged in wrestling, tall, strong, brunette, brown eyes. He was married before his mother and had a son, he has a difficult character, so his first wife (Chechen) did not endure, she left! Mom went to school, dad accidentally saw her and went after her, he looked after her very beautifully, gave flowers, gifts. Mom fell in love with him, because before him she did not communicate with anyone, and then such a man began to court, wealthy, an athlete. Her parents (my grandparents) were very against their relationship, because dad is 10 years older, and besides, he is not Russian. They were afraid for their daughter. They said that he would take a walk and leave, they didn’t let him meet, they closed his houses, everything was useless. Mom jumped out through the first floor window and went on dates anyway. Her father even beat her hard to keep her at home. When dad found out about this, he came to talk with my grandfather so that he wouldn’t touch my mother anymore, but grandfather didn’t even let him on the threshold of the house. As a result, my father had to go back and he stole my mother to marry her when she was leaving school. I just threw it into the car and took it to Grozny. There were many proceedings later with the police, my father was put on the wanted list, but he still did not give up my mother. Brought to his parents (they all lived together in a big house). Of course, his parents were against it, very against it, they even told him to return the girl home and promised to find him a good Chechen woman, but dad was adamant.
As a result, my mother was accepted, she got married, converted to Islam. At first it was very difficult for her, because she was just a girl, and her mother-in-law was unhappy, hated her. Even once, my father's mother closed my mother in the winter in the basement so that she would freeze, but then she became ashamed. My father did not let my mother study further, he closed the house. She was very sorry that she married her father, he was jealous of her, did not allow her to go out alone, once her mother went to the store without a scarf, and the neighbors saw it. When dad found out, hit her. Even when they were invited to the wedding, and my mother went out to dance, he then hit her at home for this. He said one more time she would do that and he would kill her. Many Chechens are very jealous, owners. If mine, then mine. So they think. Mom forgot to wear trousers, she began to wear only skirts below the knee and floor-length dresses. All the neighbors discussed her, because she was Russian, they talked a lot of bad luck about her mother, invented gossip!
They even wanted to marry my father again to a Chechen woman, although he was already married to my mother, they were just brazenly trying to set him up with someone. And one person (a Chechen woman) almost hung on his neck, although she knew that she was married. Mom suffered a lot from all the people, spoiled her health. She got married and endures her father and my dad all her life. They have a very different mentality, and my mother was brought up differently than Chechens, which for us normally seemed strange to her. Perhaps if her father had not taken her by force, her life would have turned out differently. He really broke her life, and he himself could be much happier without all these problems if he had listened to his parents and married a Chechen woman!
Mom raised his son from his first marriage, and gave birth to three more children. I have a younger sister and brother. I love my family very much, and I'm glad that my parents are such wonderful people, but I really think that if they weren't so stubborn, they could be much happier!
We, their children, grew up seeing scandals, seeing assaults in the family and the disrespect of the mother-in-law for the daughter-in-law! If there had been a Chechen, Vainashka in the mother’s place, the father would not have behaved like this with her, because he would have known about the consequences! My dad always says that he will kill anyone who touches me even with a finger, but he himself treats my mother like that.
I hope this story will be instructive for many Russian beauties who communicate with the Vainakhs! Girls, I beg you, think about it, it's really very difficult, do you really want such a fate for yourself ?! It will be much easier with a guy of your nationality, believe me, my good ones. I wish every girl only good, my golden ones. Think a hundred times before you bind yourself in a relationship, and even more so in marriage with a Muslim man.

From time immemorial, Chechens have enjoyed special respect for women, because they brought people life, peace and tranquility. This is evidenced by folklore and literary sources. The presence of the “nana” (“mother”) component in phrases that are sacred to the people: “nana-mokhk”, “nenan mott”, “kh1usamnana” also speaks about the cult of the mother among the Chechens.

A woman is, first of all, a mother, because she sows and nurtures the seeds of goodness in children and families. The degree of moral education of children depends on the level of her integrity, therefore she is considered the heart of the nation, its spiritual image.

Many severe trials fell on the lot of the Chechen woman. Along with beauty and femininity, she has always valued such qualities as: firmness of will, loyalty to the word, courage and courage. In the most difficult times for the long-suffering Chechen people, she shared with men all the hardships and hardships of fate. And at the same time, she jealously guarded her honor and reputation. The most striking example of this quality of our compatriots is captured in the events of two centuries ago.

After Yermolov burned the village of Dadi-Yurt in September 1819, the soldiers decided to transport 46 captive girls across the Terek, but in the middle of the river they began to rush into the river, dragging the escorts with them so as not to fall into the hands of the enemies. They died with dignity, but did not allow themselves to be dishonored. The village of Dadi-Yurt was burned down, but the feat of the valiant Chechen women will not be forgotten.

And this is far from the only example of such behavior of women who, next to their fathers, brothers, husbands, with weapons in their hands, stood up to defend their homeland.

For example, the daughter of a well-known Chechen sheikh, a prominent religious and political figure in the North Caucasus of the 19th century, Gazi-Khadzhi Zandaksky Tea (Toa), before she had time to get married, stood side by side with her brothers on ghazavat during the Chechen uprising of 1877 under the leadership of her cousin Alibek-Khadzhi Aldamov. She died in a battle in the vicinity of the village of Simsara in the Nozhai-Yurt region in early October 1877 and was buried there. Her grave - "Tei Kash" - is known to any resident of Simsar, young and old. She became the Chechen Joan of Arc, a national heroine, whose name and deed her descendants must know and remember.”

It is gratifying that in memory of the heroic girls who preferred death to dishonor, a holiday has been established in our republic - the Day of the Chechen Woman, which is celebrated annually on the third Sunday of September.

We know many examples of the unprecedented heroism of the daughters of Chechnya. Their selfless love and devotion to the Motherland could sometimes overpower the attachment to the family and children when she blessed her sons to protect their native land. And this despite the fact that the Chechen mother has always been an example of maternal love, affection and care. Her maternal instinct is stronger than her self-preservation instinct.

There are many myths and legends about how strong mother's love is. They say that a certain young man fell in love with a girl, but she did not reciprocate his feelings. He began to pester with matchmaking and then the hard-hearted girl told him that she would marry him if he brought her the heart of his mother.

Blinded by love, the young man came home, killed his mother, took her heart and carried it to the girl. On the way, he stumbled and fell to his knees. Then the mother's heart sympathetically asked him: "Are you hurt, son?" That's how strong a mother's love is. Therefore, it is customary for Chechens to treat their mother, her relatives, and also the wife's relatives with special respect.

A prominent place is occupied by a woman in Chechen folklore and literary sources. In national mythology, "tsenana" is the "mother of fire", and fire is life. According to mythology, the mother of fire lives in fire and is the guardian of purity. This good spirit gives people hot food, light and warmth. Therefore, the most terrible curse of the Chechen people is “so that the fire goes out in your house.”

My heart bleeds when I remember an incident told to me by one of my acquaintances. It was in the cold February of the monstrous 1944, when the Chechens were expelled from their native land. During a long and terrible journey, in freight cars pierced from all sides by an icy wind, death tirelessly mowed down even the hitherto healthy. The escorts simply threw the bodies of the dead on the side of the railway. At each stop, the cars were inspected by soldiers to find corpses, since there was no question of their voluntary transfer, although people were shot on the spot for deliberately hiding the dead or opposing the removal of corpses.

In the same car with my friend, who told me this terrible story, there was a young mother with a baby. The child could not stand the ordeal and died in the arms of his mother. However, the mother, who wanted to bury her child according to customs, hiding the grief that befell her from the “defender of the Fatherland”, did not show it. Every time the soldiers entered the car, she imitated breastfeeding and rocked her baby in her arms, as if trying to calm him down. This continued until the very arrival at the places of special settlements, where the baby was buried.

A difficult story that is difficult to listen to without tears, but at the same time, this is an example of a mother with a capital letter, this is an example of a Chechen mother! It was about such mothers that our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) spoke: “Paradise is under the feet of our mothers.”

There is no need to delve into the distant past to give examples of the exploits of Chechen women. It is enough to follow the last two decades and we will discover countless examples of this. The heroines of our time, despite the early gray hair and bottomless fatigue in the eyes, on average - no more than fifty. The tragic events of the 90s fell on their youth. It was they who saved children and the elderly during bombing attacks, without dividing them into friends and foes. It was they who, risking their lives, transported the wounded through federal checkpoints. It was they who had to save the civilian population from starvation, abandoned to the mercy of fate in the most terrible days. It was our women who supplied the republic, squeezed in the grip of hopelessness, with provisions and medicines. To do this, they had to go to neighboring republics and literally on their own shoulders, fording the river (as it was at the famous Gerzel post), despite the bad weather, dragging bales and boxes, bags and trunks with such long-awaited products, medicines and items of the first need.

During the period of post-war devastation, Chechen women worked tirelessly on an equal footing with men, restoring the republic, and in a variety of industries: at construction sites and in libraries, in shopping malls and on the stage, in government and housing and communal services, in medicine, education, social household service.

And at the same time, Chechen women, as a rule, always remain restrained and modest, not for a moment forgetting their original purpose and the need to exist in harmony with the precepts of their ancestors. This is the peculiarity of the Chechen woman, this is her value and dignity.

The Chechen woman is the keeper of the hearth, the Chechen mother, the Chechen woman is a symbol of purity and purity - behind all these epithets one can see the scale of the Chechen woman's responsibility to society, to her ancestors and descendants. But the great mission that she carried out with dignity for centuries, raising sons - konakhs and guarding the hearth, was not limited to this.

The role of women in Chechen society is as important as it is responsible. From century to century, a Chechen woman stood guard over family values ​​and traditions established by her ancestors.

The Vainakhs have the concept of “konakh” (“ko - “son” + “nah” - “people”, that is, the son of the people, a true man - this is what the Chechens say about a brave, noble, courageous man. He acts in Chechen folk poetry as a fighter for truth and justice, showing bravery and courage in battles with the enemy and foreigners". This concept, as a rule, we associate with the representative of the male half: bearded, mustachioed, armed and wearing a hat. In this we are deeply mistaken, because konakhom - brave ", a woman can also be a noble person. Today there are many of them among us. Another woman behaves much more worthily than some men. They are usually called "konakh-zuda" - (worthy woman). This is the highest assessment of a woman. We had them , is and will be.

The fact that a Chechen woman was put in a very humiliating position in the 90s is largely to blame for us, men.

Recently, the position of women in our society has certainly changed. Indeed, unlike some foreign countries, where women are reduced to a humiliating and dependent position, the role of women in our society continues to increase every year, and our women - free, proud, talented and beautiful - not only successfully cope with their direct duties , but also try to compete with the stronger sex in traditionally male areas of activity, although this, of course, is far from always good. There is nothing more terrible than an excessively emancipated woman, because a woman (and a Chechen woman, all the more - M.O.) in any circumstances must maintain tenderness, femininity, modesty.

In my opinion, women-mothers and women-workers should be surrounded by special attention in our republic. In addition to the social support measures taken by the leadership of the republic in relation to the weak half of the population, we celebrate three women's holidays every year: International Women's Day; Chechen Women's Day and Mother's Day, established by Decree of the President of the Russian Federation in 1998. It is celebrated on the last Sunday of November.

So our republic is perhaps the only one where women are celebrated three times a year. This, of course, is not enough. We must constantly protect them, surround them with attention and care.

Often, men, being convinced that this world is in their care, forget that they themselves, from birth to the last breath, are surrounded by the vigilant care and attention of women. And we hardly notice that, in addition to the main burden at work, they carry on their fragile shoulders all their lives the exhausting burden of our daily life, and after all, most men, if they had a chance to do ordinary women's affairs, in all likelihood, very quickly they would stretch their legs (maybe I'm exaggerating a little - M.O.), but personally I have no doubt that in everyday terms our women are much more enduring than us men, and besides, much more sensitive and, of course, kinder. Therefore, probably, if women still ruled the world, then there would be much fewer wars in the world.

In some countries, women are appointed to the most responsible positions up to the Minister of Defense. And not at all because they are glorious warriors, but because a woman in the most extreme situation will sincerely try to save human life, because only those who, by the will of the Almighty, know life for sure its real price.

If we, men, were a little more attentive to our beautiful half, each new day could become bright, rich and joyful for them. To do this, it is enough to look around, appreciate the beauty and charm of the women around us. Throughout the history of the Chechen people, they have been distinguished by devotion to the family, diligence, tolerance and wisdom. Therefore, the present and future of our people largely depend on them.

Our dear women, with all my heart I wish you good health, well-being, great human happiness, success in all your affairs and undertakings!

Let the warm spring sun energize you, and let the festive mood, joy and love of life always be with you!

Movla Osmaev

Information agency "Grozny-inform"

Found a mistake in the text? Select it with the mouse and press: Ctrl+Enter

https://www.site/2018-01-10/chechenka_poprosila_mat_ramzana_kadyrova_povliyat_na_syna

"You are not worthy to be the head of the republic"

Chechen woman asked Ramzan Kadyrov's mother to influence her son

Frame from Youtube

A resident of Chechnya recorded a video message to the head of Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov, demanding that he stop kidnappings. The video is posted on the Anti Kadyrov channel on Youtube.com.

The woman, without giving her name, accuses the head of the republic of kidnapping people in Chechnya on his orders, calls on Kadyrov to return their children to their mothers. “You are not worthy to be the head of the republic. Even the shepherd who takes the sheep out to pasture brings them back, and you can't even be trusted with that job. The Chechen people honor Allah, but you are not afraid of him at all,” the woman says.

According to her, "Putin put Kadyrov in charge," but the head of Chechnya abused this trust and is causing lawlessness.

The author of the video also mentions the singer Zelimkhan Bakaev, who disappeared last year. According to her, he was kidnapped on the orders of Kadyrov on charges of homosexuality, although he himself is not gay. In her other address, to Kadyrov's mother, Aimani Kadyrova, the woman asks her to tell her son to stop killing innocent young people.

Recall that last year Novaya Gazeta spoke about secret prisons for gays in Chechnya, as well as about the massacres of people of non-traditional sexual orientation. Subsequently, this topic was repeatedly raised in human rights communities. The publication provided a list of dozens of names of the victims. The Chechen authorities have repeatedly refuted this information, stating that there are simply no gays in Chechnya and cannot be.

Human rights organizations that tried to understand this topic were subjected to pressure. Thus, at the end of last year Nurdi Nukhazhiev, Commissioner for Human Rights in Chechnya, announced his intention to apply to the prosecutor's office of the republic and Roskomnadzor with a demand to block the information sites Kavkazsky Knot and Kavkaz.Realii.

These sites very often write about human rights violations in the republic. However, according to the Chechen Ombudsman, their activities are "dysfunctional" and "destructive". “In order to prevent the destabilization of the socio-political situation in the republic and the information and psychological impact on the individual and mass consciousness of civil society, as well as on the system of state power, it is necessary to immediately take measures to counteract information sabotage,” the Chechen human rights activist is sure.

“There is an increase in the negative flow of information aimed at discrediting the socio-political system in the Chechen Republic, depriving the subject of investor confidence, undermining the authority and image, as well as provoking social tension among the population. And something needs to be done about this,” Nukhazhiev said in a statement published on the Ombudsman’s official website.

My husband, a descendant of Georgian princes, said that his grandfather, coming home from work, and he was a cook in the famous Moscow restaurant "Aragvi", sat down at the table, lowered his heavy fist on its surface and significantly said: "You were created by me"! And the whole family, and especially its younger members, obeyed him implicitly.

Different peoples have very different traditions of raising children, someone pampers their children, someone puts them in Spartan conditions from birth. But we all have one thing in common - we sincerely wish the rising generation happiness and prosperity.

Chechens

A parable is very popular in the republic: a young mother came to an old man to ask: "At what time should one start raising a child"? "And how old is your son now"? – Asked the sage. "A month," the woman replied. “You are exactly 30 days late,” the old man sighed.

In Chechnya, the most important ancient tradition is still preserved - having many children. Each newborn is sincerely wished by 7 brothers, and it doesn’t matter what kind of child it is in the family, maybe the 3rd, or maybe the 5th. The authority of a man, father, grandfather is indisputable here.

President of the Republic Ramzan Kadyrov said in one of his interviews: “I never sat down in the presence of my father and did not talk, I answered only when asked. I tried not to go into the room where my parents were together. Until the last years, my father and I never spoke "I don't remember my father praising me. It's the same in our family. In the presence of my father, I never talked to my wife and children, we were brought up that way, and this tradition will continue."

The famous Caucasian scholar, historian Adolphe Berger argued that Chechens never scold their sons so that they do not grow up to be cowards. As the Vainakh proverb says: "a horse that was beaten with a whip will never become a real horse." And in the republic, children are practically not abandoned, if something happened to the parents, the child will be taken by relatives, even the most distant, or in extreme cases, neighbors. To refuse to shelter an orphan is a disgrace to the whole family.

Yakuts

In ancient times, the Yakuts had a school of heroic education, in which boys were sent from the age of 3, a kind of individual military training. The teacher there was a father or an honored warrior-mentor. The system was based on Spartan, and even more severe traditions: burning coals were thrown at the child and taught to dodge them, later they fired wooden arrows with short needles attached to them. And protective armor was issued only after completing the full course and passing a difficult exam. From that moment on, the boy became a man and received the title of "bootur", a warrior.

Mordva

Preference in the republic has long been given to boys, the successors of the family, the daughter was considered a burden in the family. If a son appeared, they said: “After all, Ava (the goddess, patroness of love and childbearing) gave it,” if the daughter - “After all, she left it.” And also: "Feed your son - it will do for yourself, feed your daughter - people will need it," or "The son is a home guest, the daughter will go to people." Among Mordovians From time immemorial, "helps" have been common, peculiar subbotniks, when the whole village gathered and free of charge helped one neighbor to build a house, another to dig a well, a third to slaughter cattle for the holiday. And the children were brought up in the spirit of collectivism and mutual assistance. Boys from the age of 10 already went to the rescue, doing what they could. And the girls took part in supryadka - the female version of joint labor. The hostess, who needed help in spinning wool, knitting stockings or mittens, hired the same teenagers for sweets or pastries, to convene as many girls and girls as possible. Barkers went from house to house with great noise, knocked on the windows with a stick, called for a response. Diurnal supryads - "chin supryad" and night ones - "ven supryad" differed. At daytime they went in everyday clothes, at night - in festive clothes, since the guys often pulled themselves up to the latter. In breaks between work, they got acquainted, played, danced, sang.

Don Cossacks

After baptism, the boy was sure to put a checker, bullet or arrow in the cradle, which was called - "on the tooth." And we watched his reaction: if he starts playing - a good sign, if he starts crying - it's worth thinking about. Initiation into the Cossacks took place at 3-4 years. On this day, all the relatives gathered, the father put his son on a horse, gave a saber in his hands, escorted him around the yard, and then along the whole street. Then, also on horseback, the Cossack woman was taken to the church, where a prayer service was served. From the female half of the house, he moved to the male, the older brothers checked his pillow and blanket, and mercilessly threw it away if they seemed too warm and soft to them, admonished: "Learn to serve, you are now not a child, but the floor of a Cossack." Further, all forces were directed to the physical development of a teenager. And even games with peers were mostly mobile and competitive. But it is interesting that they were necessarily held under the supervision of the village old men, who strictly monitored the observance of the rules and the behavior of everyone, and in case of violations, they stopped the fun and strictly admonished the offender. At the age of 7, the boy already knew how to shoot, at 10 he could chop with a saber. And upon reaching the age of 21, he came to the service "on horseback and with weapons", possessing all the necessary skills to protect domestic borders.

Jews

The image of a Jewish mother is very bright in books, films and jokes. She acts as a symbol of hypertrophied maternal instinct, complete and boundless devotion to her, sometimes very overgrown child. By all laws, such a parent should grow up an absolutely helpless, infantile child. However, this does not happen! Jewish children grow up early and sometimes outstrip their peers in development. From an early age, they are taught not to hang out on the street, but to go to a music school, a chess club, an art studio, etc. Seemingly limited in communication and their own desires, they must break free from the chain and rebel in adolescence. And again - by. Thanks to the habit of a strict schedule and the numerous skills acquired, Jewish children are more disciplined, spend less time on school lessons, have more time, and build their day as efficiently as possible. And as a result, growing up, they achieve quite high results.

Did you like any parenting model? Feel free to take it as a basis. After all, one of the advantages of living in a large multinational state is the ability to adopt each other's best features. However, remember that your child is individual, unique, he is one of a kind, and therefore, observing national traditions, do not forget to listen to his desires and interests.

Evgenia Asatiani