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My boyfriend always says I'm fat. Marriage as a project, partner's body as a social status

For a long time, television and various media have imposed a stereotype on modern man that everyone should be very slender. Men are required to be pumped up, and girls are slightly anorexic. Therefore, the question arises in the minds of modern women: what to do if I am fat.

First, there is no need to rush and panic. Analyze your appearance, your parameters. Think about where you got this idea and only then act. The very first thing to do is to determine if you really need to take any measures and how tough they should be.

"I'm ugly and fat!"

These two indicators of appearance are often equated with each other. It has long been proven that a man is attracted to the parameters of the body themselves, and their proportions. A full woman with good breasts, a beautiful line of hips and a rather thin waist (in relation to the hips) is always perceived as beautiful, sexy and very effective.

"I think I'm fat"

This wording is also very popular with women. Checking if there really is a problem is quite simple. First, there is a very simple table. It compares weight with height. For example, with a height of 170 cm, a body weight of 55 kg is considered insufficient. But with the same height of 95 kg, they indicate the onset of obesity.

"They call me fat"

This motivation is most typical for children and adolescents. In this case, you need to pay attention to the nutrition and physical activity of the child, to the absence of stress. But it is important to remember that in just a couple of years a child can change a lot. And if such a situation worries an adult, then first of all it is worth thinking about. Perhaps this is not an objective opinion, but personal dislike or envy.

"Boyfriend says I'm fat"

Men love with their eyes - that's a fact. And if your man subtly hints at completeness and offers to solve the problem together, then you should listen. But this situation is more common. A man demands a perfect appearance from a woman. At the same time, he does not care too much about the stomach with cubes in his case. It's better not to listen to such advice.

If I am very fat, what should I do?

Many people say to themselves: I am a fat girl. That is, a certain amount of excess weight is meant. But when the problem is obvious and serious in scale, the help of specialists is required. If the weight is too large, it is better to contact nutritionists, trainers, cosmetologists. Also, keep in touch with your therapist.

How did I get fat?

This is the first thing to figure out. Analyze your lifestyle. Maybe food is to blame. Or sedentary work and lack of sports. Or the problem is hormones and stress, difficult life situations.

Why am I fat?

Next, figure out why you still haven't solved the problem. Most likely, the reason is motivation. If it wasn't there, find it. And there is no need to refer to the fact that there is no time, opportunity or strength. And now you have to wonder what to do if I'm fat.

I'm fat, how can I lose weight?

Very simple. Choose a healthy diet that you can easily stick to for a long time. Sign up for fitness, start running in the morning. Pay attention to massage, cosmetic procedures. With folk remedies, rid the body of toxins and toxins. And then the result will not keep you waiting.

The main thing is to reconsider your lifestyle as a whole. Something led to the appearance of extra pounds. And if this is not changed, then the excess weight will return. Therefore, when losing weight, it is better to build a system that you can stick to all the time. The same rule will help maintain health while losing weight.

Offending a woman is easy - just say that she has recovered. And when a beloved man talks about this, and not in the most delicate formulations, it really hurts. Is it always a matter of a woman and the fact that she allegedly “disbanded herself?”. Psychologist Yulia Lapina says: often the problem is in the men themselves. And that's why:

Divomix.com

Of course, not only the husband can comment on appearance, it can be colleagues, relatives, and even their own children, but in partnerships this is especially hurtful and has its own dynamics.

Some statistics as a preface: according to one study, more than half of those surveyed would like their partner to lose weight. Another study tells us that people in happy relationships gain weight, while people in unhappy ones gain weight, explaining that food and love are closely connected with our brain.

What is the most important thing from the above? You are not alone if you are worried about being attacked by your husband/lose weight partner. You are not alone if your body has changed since starting a relationship.

Of course, this does not make it any less painful to hear “you would be nice to lose weight” and such accusations fall on a body that seems to be depriving you of a loved one, but is it really so? Is it really the body that is to blame for the reproaches in your direction?

Let's try to consider why exactly this reproach becomes part of the relationship. In this article, we will talk about reproaches towards women as a more common family pattern, but all of the following can be directed against men in the same way.

Marriage as a project, partner's body as a social status

True or not, we do not know, but the fact that for a certain type of men the appearance of a wife plays the role of status along with an expensive car, an elite apartment and a solid bank account remains a fact.

But then again, this has nothing to do with the body, but only with a society where the appearance of a spouse is a marker of social status - who you can afford.

If Russian merchants of past centuries boasted to each other that whoever has a fatter cat and wife is richer, then today it’s the other way around - thinness (fortunately, at least not a cat) is associated with success and wealth. And in this case, the partner’s reproaches are connected with anxiety about the loss of his status, and it’s not always about presidents or oligarchs, a middle-income citizen can worry no less about “what people will say” if his wife has recovered or the smartphone is not the latest model.

The rich always set trends in the same way that stereotypes about health scanning by appearance existed long before “fat equally sick” - in a peasant family, a “thin woman” had no chance of marriage because of stereotypes about poor health and problems in childbirth.

When a marriage is a kind of project about status, about free labor or an heir's tutor, then those entering into it enter into an unspoken agreement and begin to get angry if one of the parties violates this agreement. Nothing personal, just business. Only the body has nothing to do with it.

divomix.com

Microaggression - a way to relieve stress

Any relationship - friendly, business, partner - gives rise to a certain tension (because to maintain them, it is necessary to slow down one's desires and periodically make concessions), and the quality of the relationship is determined precisely by the way this tension is relieved.

One of the less constructive ways is microaggression. Constant injections that can always be wrapped in “well, don’t you understand jokes”, “I accidentally said (a)”. That is, for example, a woman cannot quote exactly how and when her partner told her that he was dissatisfied with her body, but nevertheless intensely feels the presence of this topic in “random” ones: “Masha has lost weight coolly, her husband is happy about something” and “Mom gave us cabbage here, she tells you it’s healthy and low-calorie.”

In the vast world of fatphobia (fear of fullness), the insult “fat” is universal for any woman, regardless of body weight. The anxiety “suddenly I got better” concerns anyone, which means that the seed of doubt can be sown in everyone, which becomes a universal tool for expressing aggression in order to offend.

Why microaggression? Because direct aggression like “fat fool”, “getting hot is disgusting”, “you look disgusting” - this is such a toxic level of relations that in terms of psychological consequences it does not differ much from direct physical violence, and in this case the question of one’s own mental safety and methods its achievement is in the first place, if there is a resource to cope with it without outside help. There is no time for reflections on what, how and why, this is a question of the soonest termination of such situations.

But on the other hand, if both partners are doing great with a sense of humor and light sarcasm, which, as you know, are constructive ways to relieve tension (sublimation) of aggression, then there is nothing destructive in this. A sense of humor and self-irony has been preserved by more than one marriage, if both parties had a desire to save it.

Sometimes I had to observe families in which there was a sarcastic squabble: “Get out of my way, my plump pie, what are you with us today?” - “Judging by our financial situation, I am a pie with cabbage from Auchan at a discount” - did not affect self-esteem and did not cause anxiety, but were a tacit agreement of permissible jokes, a kind of family black humor.

But everything, of course, is individual, and if such jokes hurt you, and your partner, knowing about it, continues to tease you, then this is no longer funny.

foodandhealth.ru

Clinical case of an obsession

As the definition says, a body dysmorphic disorder about the appearance of another person (we will translate it for greater clarity like this) is the same “obsession” with physical defects, as in the case of classical dysmorphophobia, only something from the body of another person becomes the object of anxiety, or the body of the other in general, because "something is wrong with it and it needs to be fixed urgently." The level of stress caused by the "deficiencies" of the body of a loved one can be quite serious, and in some clinical cases described, even lead to suicide.

Literature and in English on this issue is not so much, as well as research on clinical interventions, but one very important consequence of the description of this disorder is important for us.

Namely, if this is a disorder, such as obsessions or phobias, then neither the wrinkles on the partner’s face, nor the round “irritating nose”, nor “those nasty folds on the sides” are its cause. It's like the fear of spiders has nothing to do with spiders and their cute furry legs, it's a matter of them being a phobic stimulus for a particular person.

The good news is that this is curable, unless, of course, only you, but also your partner, understand that the matter is not in the body and are ready to take certain actions to get rid of this disorder.

okezone.com

Certain body shape is a sexual fetish

And perhaps the saddest and most difficult part of this text. Yes, it happens that a certain type of appearance is a sexual fetish - body type, breast size, age, after all. And it is much less common to say that women also have a lot of fetishes associated with the male body. After ten years of marriage, it is quite possible to find nearby not that lean handsome man, who was looked at by half a course of the institute, but a more overall cutie, who, with all his warm attitude, does not cause erotic desires in his wife.

But in most cases, women begin to look for a problem in themselves in such a situation, for example: “I have something with my hormones, my sexual desire has disappeared.”

Because patriarchy tells women to value anything in marriage other than their sexuality, such experiences are rarely voiced, even in the form of a constructive family discussion. Men, on the contrary, do not always delicately declare the loss of their sexual desire, often dressing it up in the phrase “you would be nice to lose weight and generally take care of yourself.”

By the way, capitalism immediately picks up this problem, wraps it in a beautiful wrapper and sells it in the form of trainings, pills, underwear and plastic surgeries. Not for men, of course.

Couples deal with this problem very differently, from divorce to open relationships, from understanding and accepting that the relationship is now on a different level, to formal and informal mistresses and lovers.

This topic is complicated by the fact that today sexual desire is equated with love - as long as the partner wants, he seems to love and nothing threatens marriage. It is complicated by the fact that a woman begins to feel her body as a traitor and tortures him in the hope of returning "as it was." It is difficult because if the spouse is financially dependent on her husband, she will be forced to come to terms with any of his decisions, and the body again turns out to be extreme - because of him it all started.

They throw, change and cool down to a variety of people - to photo models, and to Hollywood actresses, and to "impeccable" fitonies. The only question is how a person will deal with those who are close to him, with those to whom he promised love, care and respect, even if his sexual interests have changed. Will it be a rejection of one's sex life - as in the case of a decision to remain faithful, for example, to a sick partner, or will it be a carefully hidden parallel relationship - the choice and responsibility, and possibly the victim, is always for a specific person, and not for someone else a body that does not betray anyone, but fulfills its main task - to live.

Sources:

Shame you're not thinner, darling: More than HALF of people wish their partner would lose weight

Beware the happy fat: Scientists prove that wedded bliss wreaks havoc with your waistline

Food And Love: How They Are Linked In The Brain

Body Dysmorphic Disorder by Proxy

lady.tut.by

"My husband says I'm fat. How to react correctly?"

Many women are familiar with the problem of a lack of attention from their husband, and he, in turn, constantly looks at thin female models. And it also happens that you can hear from him or a hint, or a direct requirement to lose weight.

And here it doesn’t even matter what kind of figure you have - ideal or imperfect, but once he fell in love with you. Is it true then that men love not for appearance? What to do in such situations? How to properly respond to his words? Is it worth it to draw any conclusions for yourself?

To be honest, most women would not even think about losing weight, if not for the words of their husband. And they didn’t think about why a woman gets fat with age. Perhaps it is worth throwing off a couple of extra pounds, otherwise the husband will begin not only to consider thin ones, but also to change?

In such cases, it is worth remembering that a woman should lose weight primarily for herself, and not for anyone else, even if it is her husband. Constant efforts to lose weight to please her husband can bring a woman not only to emotional and moral exhaustion, but also lead to a more serious illness.

Everyone knows the truth that absolutely all concepts in our world are relative. And appearance is no exception to this rule. The world of the film industry and high fashion has imposed on us the ideal of a lean, almost anorexic figure. But, in reality, the situation is somewhat different, and there are much more men who like plump women.

Can a man tell the woman he loves that she is fat?

To be honest, smart men will not be able to say this to their beloved woman. Remember and try to assess the situation adequately, with a view from the outside. Perhaps it was a joke, with a touch of irony. True, even a joke can hurt a person very deeply.

If you have always had such a weight or a large bone, or if you are a tall woman, then you don’t even have to think about losing weight. You will not be able to change yourself, but you will exhaust yourself - that's for sure. Why torture yourself?

There are situations when women gain weight for a variety of reasons. In such cases, it is worth trying to return to the previous forms. But, at the same time, this must be done wisely and without excessive torture.

What to do if your husband tells you to lose weight?

First of all, you need to sit down and calmly talk about this topic with your husband. Ask him directly if you are comfortable with him the way you are. No accusations or ingratiations are needed - they will only aggravate the situation. In the event that your weight is extremely important for him, and you cannot correct the situation, then it is better to find out everything at once, without delay.

In some situations, if a husband says that you are fat, this may indicate that he is not ready for the next step, for example, the birth of a child. And in this way, he tries to manipulate you.

How to be in such a situation? Probably, it would be better to immediately abandon joint plans, since he may not change his mind, and the situation will only worsen over time.

If the partner has firmly taken such a manipulative position, then you are unlikely to get an “honest” answer. In such a situation, you need to speak with your husband in his own language - use reciprocal manipulation. This will give a chance to agree that he will not torment you with weight loss, and you will not demand anything from him either. But, you should not do it first - it should be a response to his attempt at manipulation. Then the spouse will not be able to accuse you of pressure on him.

Why is it worth listening to the remark of the husband?

Pay attention to how your husband tells you that you are fat. If an insult sounds in his statement, then, probably, it’s not even worth talking about real feelings. If such a remark sounds like a hint or advice, then try to listen.

Remember one thing, if you still want to lose weight, in any case, you win. By starting to take care of yourself, not only about your weight, but also about your health, you will show how much you love yourself. And this is extremely important.

You should look after yourself only at your own request, and not in order to please your husband. You must carry yourself in your arms, and then there is a high probability that your husband will have a desire to do the same.

You must know your worth and, in no case, not develop dependence on your husband. How you treat yourself is how other people will treat you. You can endlessly argue on the topic that appearance is not the main thing, and if a person falls in love, then not for the figure. In most cases, these are just excuses to justify their own laziness.

It is necessary to completely eradicate from yourself the feeling of guilt that your husband nurtures by constant remarks about your weight. He is just manipulating you.

There are many more opinions about this. Here are the most common:

if your husband reprimands you because of your weight, then you are interested in him and he just wants you to always look good,
if there is respect in a couple, then no claims will be made. When it comes to this issue, the husband will do it very correctly. For example, he will offer to go to the gym together or change the diet and diet together,
you can often hear that a woman's weight does not affect her happiness in any way, but it is worth taking care of yourself.

USEFUL INFORMATION:

mne-30.ru

He started telling me that I'm fat

I am 18. I have been dating a guy for 3 years (he is 23). At first we had a candy-bouquet period, but for 2 years now there has been nothing, only on holidays. No, I don’t need anything, he just doesn’t even say that he loves me. This is very insulting to me, I love him with all my heart, he is the first in everything for me. Six months ago, or even a year ago, he began to tell me that I was fat, although I think that I am of a normal physique. Well, the stomach is not flat, but not fat either. It hurt me, now I'm on a diet because of him, I got gastritis, and he flirts with my girlfriend, and tells me to take an example from her. She used to weigh 115 kg, and she lost weight to 70. Well done, it infuriates me when he says that. Now I'm embarrassed to eat with him. Today at the store we stood in line, and he told me that I was fat. It was the last straw, I ran away from there, he followed me, and we drove home in silence. My soul just hurts like hell, I have a lump in my throat, I'm tired of humiliating myself in front of him. When we quarrel and he is to blame, I still go first to put up and apologize, I know that there is nothing to ask for forgiveness from him, I'm a fool, I love him.

www.not1.ru

What if I'm fat?

"I'm ugly and fat!"

"I think I'm fat"

"They call me fat"

"Boyfriend says I'm fat"

If I am very fat, what should I do?

How did I get fat?

This is the first thing to figure out. Analyze your lifestyle. Maybe food is to blame. Or sedentary work and lack of sports. Or the problem is hormones and stress, difficult life situations.

Why am I fat?

I'm fat, how can I lose weight?

To be honest, most women would not even think about losing weight, if not for the words of their husband. And don't think about getting older. Perhaps it is worth throwing off a couple of extra pounds, otherwise the husband will begin not only to consider thin ones, but also to change?

Can a man tell the woman he loves that she is fat?

There are situations when women gain weight for a variety of reasons. In such cases, it is worth a try. But, at the same time, this must be done wisely and without excessive torture.

What to do if your husband tells you to lose weight?

In some situations, if a husband says that you are fat, this may indicate that he is not ready for the next step, for example, the birth of a child. And in this way, he tries to manipulate you.

How to be in such a situation? Probably, it would be better to immediately abandon joint plans, since he may not change his mind, and the situation will only worsen over time.

Why is it worth listening to the remark of the husband?

It is necessary to completely eradicate from yourself the feeling of guilt that your husband nurtures by constant remarks about your weight. He is just manipulating you.

There are many more opinions about this. Here are the most common:

if your husband reprimands you because of your weight, then you are interested in him and he just wants you to always look good,
if there is respect in a couple, then no claims will be made. When it comes to this issue, the husband will do it very correctly. For example, he will offer to go to the gym together or change the diet and diet together,
you can often hear that a woman's weight does not affect her happiness in any way, but it is worth taking care of yourself.

But then again, this has nothing to do with the body, but only with a society where the appearance of a spouse is a marker of social status - who you can afford.

If Russian merchants of past centuries boasted to each other whoever has a thicker cat and wife is richer, then today it’s the other way around - thinness (fortunately, at least not a cat) is associated with success and wealth. And in this case, the partner's reproaches are connected with anxiety about the loss of one's status, and it is not always about presidents or oligarchs. A middle-class citizen may be just as worried about “what people will say” if his wife has gained weight or the smartphone is not the latest model.

Photo source: filmz.ru

The rich have always set trends, just like the stereotypes about health scanning by appearance existed long before the “fat equally sick” - in a peasant family, a “thin woman” had no chance of marriage because of stereotypes about poor health and problems in childbirth.

When marriage is a kind of project - about status, about free working hands or the heir's tutor, then those who enter into it enter into an unspoken agreement and begin to get angry if one of the parties violates this agreement. Nothing personal, just business. Only the body has nothing to do with it.

2. Microaggression - a way to relieve stress

Any relationship - friendly, business, partner - generates a certain tension (because to maintain them, it is necessary to slow down one's desires and periodically make concessions) and the quality of the relationship is determined precisely by the way this tension is relieved.

One of the less constructive ways is microaggression. Constant injections that can always be wrapped in “well, don’t you understand jokes”, “I accidentally said (a)”. That is, for example, a woman cannot quote exactly how and when her partner told her that he was dissatisfied with her body, but nevertheless intensely feels the presence of this topic in “random” “Masha lost weight coolly, her husband is glad that” and “mother she handed us cabbages here, she tells you it’s healthy and low-calorie.”

In the vast world of fatphobia, the insult “fat” is universal for any woman, regardless of body weight. The anxiety “suddenly I got better” concerns anyone, which means that the seed of doubt can be sown in everyone, which becomes a universal tool for expressing aggression in order to offend.

Why microaggression? Because direct aggression like “fat fool”, “getting hot is disgusting”, “you look disgusting” - this is such a toxic level of relations that, in terms of psychological consequences, it differs little from direct physical violence. And in this case, the question of one's own mental security and methods of achieving it is in the first place, if there is a resource to cope with it without outside help. There is no time for reflections on what, how and why, this is a question of the soonest termination of such situations.

Photo source: tele.ru

Sometimes I had to watch families in which there was a sarcastic squabble "Get out of my way, my plump pie, what are you with us today?" "Judging by our financial situation, I'm a pie with cabbage from Auchan at a discount" - they did not affect self-esteem in the least and did not cause anxiety, but were a tacit agreement of permissible jokes, a kind of family black humor.

But of course, everything is individual, and if such jokes hurt, and the partner, knowing about it, continues to tease you, then this is no longer funny.

3. Clinical case of an obsession

As the definition says, a disorder about the appearance of another person (let's translate it this way for better clarity) is the same “obsession” with physical defects, as in the case of classical dysmorphophobia ( a mental disorder in which a person is overly concerned about a minor defect or feature of their body - ed.).

Only something from the body of another person, or his body in general, becomes the object of anxiety, because "something is wrong with him and it must be urgently corrected." The level of stress caused by the "deficiencies" of the body of a loved one can be quite serious, and in some clinical cases described, even lead to suicide.

The good news is that it is curable. Unless, of course, not only you, but also your partner understands that the matter is not in the body and are ready to take certain actions to get rid of this disorder.

4. A certain body shape is a sexual fetish

And perhaps the saddest and most difficult part of this text. Yes, it happens that a certain type of appearance is a sexual fetish - body type, breast size, age, after all.

Photo source: peopletalk.ru

Moreover, it is much less common to say that women also have a lot of fetishes associated with the male body. After ten years of marriage, it’s quite possible to find nearby not that lean handsome man who looked at half the course of the institute, but a more overall cutie, who, with all his warm attitude, does not cause erotic desires in his wife. But in most cases, women begin to look for a problem in themselves in such a situation, for example: "I have something with hormones, my sexual desire has disappeared."

Because patriarchy tells women to value anything in marriage other than their sexuality, such experiences are rarely voiced, even in the form of a constructive family discussion. Men, on the contrary, do not always delicately declare the loss of their sexual desire, often wrapping it in the phrase "you would be nice to lose weight and generally take care of yourself."

By the way, capitalism immediately picks up this problem, wraps it in a beautiful wrapper and sells it in the form of trainings, pills, underwear and plastic surgeries. Not for men, of course.

How to solve the problem?

This topic is complicated by the fact that today sexual desire is equated with love - as long as the partner wants, he seems to love and nothing threatens marriage. It is complicated by the fact that a woman begins to feel her body as a traitor and tortures him in the hope of returning "as it was." It is complicated by the fact that if the spouse is financially dependent on her husband, she will be forced to come to terms with any of his decisions and the body again turns out to be extreme - because of him it all started.

Throw, change and cool down to a variety of people - and to photo models, and to Hollywood actresses, and to "impeccable" fitonies. The only question is how a person will deal with those who are close to him, with those to whom he promised love, care and respect, even if his sexual interests have changed.

Will it be a rejection of one's sexual life - as in the case of a decision to remain faithful, for example, to a sick partner, or will it be carefully hidden parallel relationships - the choice and responsibility, and possibly the victim, is always for a specific person, and not for anyone the body that does not betray anyone, but fulfills its main task - to live.

Of course, not only the husband can comment on appearance, it can be colleagues, relatives, and even their own children, but in partnerships this is especially hurtful and has its own dynamics.

What is the most important thing from the above? You are NOT alone if you are worried about being attacked by your husband/lose weight partner. You are NOT alone if your body has changed since starting a relationship.

Of course, this does not make it any less painful to hear “you would be nice to lose weight”, and such accusations fall heavily on the body, which seems to deprive you of a loved one, but is it really so? Is it really the body that is to blame for the reproaches in your direction?

Marriage as a project, partner's body as a social status

In one of the Tatler magazine articles dedicated to Melania Trump, according to an "anonymous source", it was written that Donald Trump allowed his wife to give birth to a child from him only if it does not spoil her figure, and she will make every effort to ensure that her body after childbirth looked like a wedding day. True or not, we do not know, but the fact that for a certain type of men the appearance of a wife plays the role of status on a par with an expensive car, an elite apartment and a solid bank account remains a fact.

But then again, this has nothing to do with the body, but only with a society where the appearance of a spouse is a marker of social status - who you can afford.

If Russian merchants of past centuries boasted to each other who had a thicker cat and wife, today it’s the other way around - thinness (fortunately, at least not a cat) is associated with success and wealth. And in this case, the partner's reproaches are associated with anxiety about the loss of one's status. It's not always about presidents or oligarchs - a middle-class citizen can worry just as much about "what people will say" if his wife has recovered or the smartphone is not the latest model.

The rich have always set trends, just as stereotypes about health scans by appearance existed long before fat equals sick. In a peasant family, a “thin woman” had no chance of marriage because of stereotypes about poor health and problems in childbirth.

When marriage is a kind of project (about status, about free working hands or the tutor of the heir), then those who enter into it enter into an unspoken agreement and begin to get angry if one of the parties violates this agreement. Nothing personal, just business. Only the body has nothing to do with it.

Microaggression - a way to relieve stress

Any relationship - friendly, business, partner - generates a certain tension (because to maintain them, it is necessary to slow down one's desires and periodically make concessions), and the quality of the relationship is determined precisely by the METHOD of relieving this tension.

One of the less constructive ways is microaggression. Constant injections that can always be wrapped in “well, don’t you understand jokes”, “I accidentally said (a)”. That is, for example, a woman cannot quote exactly how and when her partner told her that he was dissatisfied with her body, but, nevertheless, she intensely feels the presence of this topic in “random” phrases like: “Masha lost weight coolly, here is her husband- I’m glad” or “Mom gave us cabbage here, she says it’s healthy and low-calorie for you.”

In the vast world of fatphobia, the insult “fat” is universal for any woman, regardless of body weight. The anxiety “suddenly I got better” concerns anyone, which means that the seed of doubt can be sown in everyone, which becomes a universal tool for expressing aggression in order to offend.

But, on the other hand, if both partners are doing great with a sense of humor and light sarcasm, which, as you know, are constructive ways to relieve tension (sublimation) of aggression, then there is nothing destructive in this. A sense of humor and self-irony has been preserved by more than one marriage, if both parties had a desire to save it.

Sometimes I had to observe families in which there was a sarcastic squabble “Oochi-way, my plump pie, what are you with us today?” - "Judging by our financial situation, I'm a pie with cabbage from Auchan at a discount" - did not affect self-esteem and did not cause anxiety, but were a tacit agreement of permissible jokes, a kind of family black humor.

But everything, of course, is individual, and if such jokes hurt you, and your partner, knowing about it, continues to tease you, then this is no longer funny.

Body dysmorphic disorder by proxy - a clinical case of an obsession

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