Sexual exclusivity or consensual cheating? Cheating wife to her husband at work. Real stories or office romance

I got into a very unpleasant situation. And through his own fault. I've been dating a married man for six months now. At the beginning of our relationship with his wife, he was connected only on paper, they even lived separately. But due to the common child and the wife's refusal to divorce, they were still officially considered spouses. Therefore, I was not particularly tormented by doubts and remorse. Anything happens...

And we were all great. He spent most of his time with me. It feels like we had an endless honeymoon. True, it bothered me very much that he refused to live with me. All the time I found reasons to put it off until later. Either the child gets sick, or finances do not allow, but he does not want to sit on my neck ... In general, sheer excuses.

Well, I didn't understand that before. She looked at him through rose-colored glasses, believed every word. Until I decided to drop in on him in the morning without warning. I wanted to make a surprise ... And I found his wife at his house, in a towel and without makeup!

It was so humiliating and embarrassing! He cheated on me with a woman with whom, according to him, he had only a business relationship a long time ago ... And it is not known how long this lasted. Maybe all our relationships were built on deception ... Maybe we didn’t have anything real!

Actually, what was I thinking? It's her own fault... Of course, now he swears that it was only once. That he loves me, wants to live life with me. Which will be divorced soon. Only I doubt it very much. And I'm not sure now that I need such a relationship. I don't think I can forgive him and start over.

I regret that I did not go to my lover

I cheated on my husband. Many times, with the same person… I don’t feel any remorse, except perhaps pity for my spouse.

I married him not so much for great love, but because I was no longer young. Well, of course, I really liked him at that time. But with the beginning of life together, everything went down the drain. Indecisive, soft-bodied, always sitting on the couch in front of the TV ... All he could do around the house was take out the trash and occasionally go to the store! Zero attention to me.

At first I suffered, tormented myself with all sorts of stupid thoughts. But then Maxim appeared in my life, a man completely different from her husband. The new acquaintance turned out to be a sociable, cheerful and very active boy, and soon we began a romantic relationship with him.

I then just flew on wings. I haven't had this yet! I spent all my free time with him - we even rented a common apartment, especially for our meetings. With him, I finally felt like a woman!

After some time, Maxim began to insist that I move in with him. But I didn’t dare to leave my husband, although at that time my husband seemed to me just a roommate - we even slept on separate beds ...

Everything was resolved by itself - my husband decided to check my phone, which he had never done before, and read the correspondence with his lover. There was a "debriefing", during which it terribly cried and begged to stay with him! My husband's tears evoked a storm of emotions in me: pity, disgust for myself, disgust for the fact that he does not behave like a man, but simply cries!

So, I didn't leave then. I could not. And Maxim ... Maxim stopped "waiting for the weather by the sea." Now he lives with another girl and probably doesn’t even remember me! He didn’t even pick up the phone when I wanted to congratulate him on his birthday ...

How I regret not leaving! That she stayed with her husband and was afraid to leave her usual life. Is this for life? My husband did not pay more attention to me, except that now he suspects of all mortal sins. And I'm generally going crazy, I constantly think about Maxim. It's like I'm living a parallel life with him. And I regret, I regret what I didn't do!

Husband wants to be a swinger

Let me start by saying that I love my husband very much. She has been married for seven years, but her feelings for him seem to have become even stronger. Unfortunately, he cannot respond in kind. He constantly lacks something - he is always looking for some new sensations, emotions. So our relationship, apparently, has become boring to him ...

For a very long time, he has been trying to persuade me to meet with another couple for "sex communication"! Only I am completely against it. Terrible! I can’t even imagine how it is possible to do this foursome. Or watching my husband do this to a complete stranger... I don't think it will strengthen our marriage or our feelings.

And he already “lives” with this idea. Registered on all sorts of sites, corresponding with swingers on behalf of the two of us. Often I find links to porn sites in the history of his browser ... Viewing such videos, apparently, excites him more than a living wife.

I don't understand how he can even allow such a possibility. Does he really care with whom I will have sex, with whom I will cheat on him?!

What is not enough for him? I am ready for any experiments, if, of course, they concern the two of us. I never refuse him sex, I support his intimate fantasies. But this ... This is already too much! I hope that he will soon be allowed, because I definitely will not agree to such a practice.

Says he loves two

Our marriage is 6 years old. There is a wonderful baby, his own housing, normal income, and everything is fine in sex. I used to think that I had the perfect family and the perfect husband. So, it happened, sometimes he drank with friends and sat at work to the last, but he always found time for my daughter and me. I never thought that he could have another!

Well, how could one suspect something when he always answered my calls, warned me if he was late ... Now I understand that I called to avert my eyes, and then, with a clear conscience, went to another woman! It still doesn't fit in my head!

I probably wouldn’t have guessed if he hadn’t decided to confess himself ... He said that he loved both her and me ... That it had been like this for a long time ... I thought it would pass, I was afraid to lose me. But it didn't.

It was like a bolt from the blue. I didn't even realize at first what he was saying to me. And then it burst - sobbing, collecting his things to put him out the door. How terrible it was! But then he didn't go anywhere. He said that he loves me and does not want to destroy our family. But at the same time, he is not ready to end a relationship with another!

I love him, I love him very much! All this time I unconditionally believed him, did everything for him. And at that time he was having fun with his second “love”. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets a third later...

But I don't want to live like that. I can't stand the realization that he's with another woman while I'm babysitting his child. I don’t believe that you can love two people, and I’m unlikely to ever believe in it. I have to find the strength to leave him.

Gone to a pregnant mistress

When Vanya and I met, all my friends envied me. The fact is that he is from a very wealthy family, manages his father's hereditary business and, of course, does not need money. We liked each other, started dating, a year later he proposed to me. How happy I was when we got married! It seemed to me that I would be with this person forever, that it could not be otherwise, that he really truly loves me.

Even before the wedding, we decided with him that we would not rush with children. Firstly, because both are still young, and secondly, because they want to travel more, take care of each other, enjoy romance and carelessness. After visiting the doctor, I regularly took birth control pills and was sure that everything was fine and going as it should. However, after 1.5 years of marriage, he simply came and announced that he was leaving.

As it turned out, my Ivan did not burden himself with marital fidelity and cheated on me with one girl. It was a girl, because she was only 19. So - this clever girl did not even think about using protection and, of course, became pregnant. She had no intention of having an abortion. I waited until the 4th month, and then reported the news to my missus. It is dangerous to do something at such a time, moreover, Ivan suddenly awakened paternal feelings, and he decided that she would certainly give birth to him the heir to his “business empire”. Well, in order for everything to be really “human”, he decided to file for divorce.

It turns out that he doesn’t have such love for me, since he so easily decided to leave me for the sake of the “future heir”, which, by the way, may not be from him at all. It hurts and embarrassing.

All men cheat

I used to love my husband like crazy. Our relationship started off great. Both then just finished school, entered the same institute. Everything was there: sparkling eyes, gifts, and the first kiss ... He said that I was his only one, and no one else was needed. And, of course, I believed.

They got married, a child was born. And there was the first mistress. I found out about it by accident - I read their hot correspondence with intimate details on the laptop while he was not at home. She threw him a wild scandal, threw things, and then kicked him out of the house. I thought I wouldn't forgive.

But she couldn't live without him. This pain is impossible to describe when you wake up in the morning, and there is no one around. Only his things, clothes, keeping such a familiar smell ... Yes, and he always came home, asked for forgiveness. Once came at night, did not expel. And so it remained.

A few months later I found out about another girl. Employee. Good people whispered, and the faithful himself confessed. Said he was the only one with her. Nothing serious. Forgave me again.

A year has passed, and a third appeared. Well, I don't know anything about the previous ones. He talked with her for a long time. I created a second Facebook page for myself and secretly corresponded for several months. Like, I love you, I kiss you, I want to see you soon ...

That's it. So far, I haven’t said anything to my husband, I’m waiting to see what happens next. At the very heart of the cat scratching, everything falls out of hand. But not at all like it was the first time. It used to be the end of the world for me, but now I can survive it. Strange…

All I think about is that I'm not young anymore. That she must at all costs save our family and ensure the future of her child. Even if for this I have to turn a blind eye to the "temporary hobbies" of the spouse.

Choose the right and reliable

She started dating Rustam rather because she felt sorry for him. We have known him since childhood, and all this time he literally curls around me. I refused him twice because I don't like him, but the third time I agreed. To tell the truth, I didn’t start liking him - dependent, soft, led, timid - but I decided that it’s better for now at least with someone than all alone.

We've been with him for almost two years. To be honest, we don’t have a lot in our relationship that I would like. I myself am a hot, temperamental person, I want some kind of storm of emotions. He is different: loyal, affectionate, caring. And he can cook dinner himself if I'm late, and give a massage at night, and tidy up - without any pretensions like "this is not a man's business."

Recently I met Artem. Spectacular, tall, he immediately attracted my attention, and on the second day of our acquaintance he simply took and kissed me. Here is the temperament! That's what I've been looking for for so long! I decided to part with Rustam. She told him everything as it is. To my surprise, he only said “I see, well, now let’s have dinner, and I’ll get you a bath for now.” I began to explain to him that I was leaving, but he did not seem to take it seriously ... I took my things and left. Three days later, I learned from a mutual friend that Rustam was trying to commit suicide, he was literally pulled out of the noose. She immediately rushed towards him.

While driving to the hospital, I understood everything for myself, that's when everything cleared up and fell into place. Yes, of course, passion is amazing, but I understand perfectly well that it will end sooner or later, and here there is a person who, in spite of everything, still seems to love me, who needs me so much that he doesn’t wanted to live without me. When I entered the ward, there was no longer any doubt - I immediately reassured him and said that I would return home today, and everything would be as before with us again.

It's not about pity, and it's not about me making concessions to him. I guess I just realized that sometimes happiness is not quite what you imagine it to be, and a warm dinner is sometimes much more important than passionate kisses.

Pay

When I was 20, I was very light on fleeting relationships with men. We can say that just do not particularly bother about it. I was not interested in any serious relationship, I wanted freedom, to have fun, not to think about anything. It often happened that there was a man for one night. However, my longest relationship was with a married man. No, I don’t brag about it at all and I don’t think that it makes me somehow cooler. It just happened, that's a fact. Then my conscience did not bother me.

5 years later. I must have grown up. I'm tired of all these one-night-stands. I have been married for a year now, and up to a certain point it seemed to me that everything was fine in my life. But recently I began to notice that my husband behaves a little differently than before. Either they have an offsite corporate party for the whole weekend, or they urgently needed to go out on Saturday, or just linger. And most importantly - then he comes and seems to avoid looking into my eyes, becomes attentive and gentle, as if he is hiding something and wants to avoid questions. At first, I thought I was paranoid. Then it began to happen regularly and alarm me.

I decided to get on the phone. Of course, this is ugly, but I wanted to understand what was the matter. From the phone, he was just online on the social network, a correspondence with a girl was opened ... In general, they have been dating for 7 months. I even got dizzy. Is he really cheating on me? We have a family! We are planning children! How so?! I went to the page of this girl: she is 19 years old, a student, not from a poor family and well dressed, judging by the photo. She's 19!

For a long time I sat and thought about it all. At first, she silently scolded her for a long time because she was sleeping with a married man. Then him - for not appreciating our relationship. And then I realized that the most ironic thing about all this is that I myself was in her place. So maybe it's just payback?

Hurry to leave

It so happened that our relationship with Sasha spun very quickly. Not that it was love at first sight, but somehow we immediately liked each other and started dating. A month later we were living together.

Almost as soon as we moved in, problems began. After all, it's one thing when you just see each other and spend time together, but having a joint life, budget, sharing common square meters is quite another. The first couple of weeks, though, everything was great. We made love all our free time, bought a bunch of goodies and hardly left the house, watching movies on the Internet. Over time, it became simply clear that we are completely different people, and just do - we do not know each other well.

I began to annoy the way he eats, how untidy he dresses. It turned out that we simply have nothing to talk about, because the range of interests is limited to knowledge about the design of cars and computer toys. It became a burden for me to be near him, I constantly wanted to leave home, spend leisure time with friends, just go somewhere without him. It couldn't go on like this for long, so we decided to part ways.

As a rule, in such cases, people disperse and that's it. But the thing is, I have nowhere to go, I'm not from this city. While I am looking for a new home (and this is a long and troublesome business), I decided that I would live with him. He didn't mind. For some time after the breakup, we continued to maintain an intimate relationship, but then it became unpleasant for me. He found a way out of the situation.

On a dating site I found a girl for comfort. Where can they be alone? Of course, "him"! The apartment is one-room, so they are closed either in the bathroom or in the kitchen. At the same time, for them, I am just some kind of furniture that stands in the living room. They calmly walk past me, giggling, half-naked….

The last time I woke up at night from unambiguous sounds that came from the kitchen. And then I realized that I was hurt and offended. It seems that I was the initiator of the breakup, but I still feel jealousy. After all, once he was mine and loved only my body!

She lay and cried, and she herself tried to understand everything: maybe I’m offended by the fact that I’m still not indifferent to him, and these problems were just a test of strength? After all, young couples have crises that just need to wait out, overcome ... Are we in a hurry to break up?

For what?

I don't know how much longer I can last? Marriage is like being at war. We got married 5 years ago. He is a visitor, but he courted so generously, quickly entered my circle of acquaintances, made friends with my parents. I must have loved him at the time. I never really enjoyed the attention of guys, maybe that's why I fell for it. It’s rude, because otherwise, looking back at the past and watching the present, I can’t say otherwise. A year ago, our son was born. And since then it all started. Constant parties after work, alcohol, and even flirting behind my back. I recently caught him texting an old friend. I sobbed. The way he described himself to her, I didn't know him. He wrote to her about meetings, about her forms, about his desires for her. I gave him a scandal. As a result, he made himself offended that I got into his phone, that he has so much work that sometimes you just need to be distracted. She told him to leave. And in response, instead of “sorry, I love you,” I heard that my son lives here and I will live, I have nowhere else to go. File for divorce, probably the most logical act on my part. But my son loves him so much. To create for him the appearance of a family. But until when? I keep everything in myself, I feel from understatement and anger towards him, I have nervous breakdowns. I'm at a dead end.

Psychologists say that any married couples are going through moments of crisis. And that's okay. Carrying the yoke of everyday life with his spouse, he no longer seems as attractive as before. On the basis of bored family life, the spouses move away from each other. And such a fact as treason is quite common. In each case, the reasons for female infidelity are different. But here the most important thing is something else - how to behave after what happened? Is it worth it to save the relationship after the betrayal of his wife?

Signs of a cheating wife:

• lack of intimacy between spouses or its very rare occurrence. This change may also be due to the fact that the wife is very tired or the passion for her husband has cooled down;
• the mobile phone has a password. So, there is definitely something to hide - SMS, calls;
• if the wife began to come home late, stay late at work;
• began to carefully monitor herself, which was not noticed before;
• she avoids any physical contact with her husband;
• the girl is not interested in the affairs of her partner.

The main reasons for the changes

The reasons for women's infidelity, unlike men's, have a different psychological basis. In men, polygamy is inherent in nature, so they have a desire to win more females. And a woman subconsciously chooses a stronger and more reliable partner, they need the same one - sparkling with health, beauty, strength; one who pays maximum attention and care. Therefore, any woman can change if she lacks attention, care, affection, love from her partner. And cheating is not the main indicator that she is a bad wife. Maybe she got the wrong man.

A woman who cheats on her husband is condemned by society. The cheater also has a hard time, because betrayal is only a consequence of the reasons:

1. I fell out of love. Yes Yes. And there is nothing to be surprised. Did the husband naively believe that by marrying his missus, this could never happen? Unfortunately, feelings pass, love cools down. And there's nothing you can do about it.
2. Desire to get away from problems. There are such periods in life that a lot of problems pile up, accumulate, crush. Hands go down. And when you meet a person who helps you escape from all this daily hustle, how can you not succumb to such a temptation?
3. Sexual dissatisfaction. Some girls are looking for diversity in intimate life and enjoy it.
4. Lack of attention. If the husband often leaves for a long time or simply does not pay enough attention, it is likely that the woman, due to lack of attention, will pay attention to another man.

Thoughts and feelings are in order

Before jumping to conclusions about the causes of infidelity, understand yourself:

Most often, when the veil of love falls, the lover appears in the worst light. You will begin to notice all his shortcomings and in comparison with him, your husband will be better. Therefore, think a hundred times before making a decision in favor of any man.

How to act to save the marriage?

• the husband may decide to divorce;
• at every quarrel, the husband will reproach your act, no matter how repentant you are.

If the wife nevertheless said, or he learned about this fact from someone, but he does not want a divorce because of his wife's infidelity, then decide on a serious conversation. There is no point in cheating anymore. What to do if everything came to a serious conversation? Tell us about what you don't like about the relationship, what you would like to change. Thus, you will answer your soul mate the question of how to get your wife back after infidelity. Both of you will have to come to terms with the fact of infidelity and make a decision about further life together. It is necessary to draw conclusions about who is wrong and in what. Find out when everything started to fall apart.

To build a relationship with your husband:

• spend more time with him, communicate;
• do common things;
• send all your love and energy to the family.

What to do if the betrayal of his wife threatens the breakup of the family? You can advise your husband the following actions that can help resolve the problem:

• try to talk to her parents, perhaps they will advise how their daughter can be influenced;
• chat with her friends, they also have an influence on the spouse.

There are families in which the wife is with another with the consent of the husband. That is, the man does not want to give her a divorce for various reasons and turns a blind eye to her betrayals.

If you have accepted a divorce and go to your lover, apply to the registry office. If there are children in your family, the divorce process will only take place through the courts.

What if the pregnant wife is cheating? You should wait for the birth of a newborn, and only then, if the man deems it necessary, sort out the relationship with his wife. At present, it is necessary to take care not of personal well-being, but of an unborn baby who is not to blame for what his mother is doing.

After childbirth, everything can change, because after seeing the child, the father can forgive his traitor for the sake of raising a son or daughter together.

After the birth of the child, find out whose it is. Do a paternity test. If the child is not from her husband, it is better to get a divorce. The child will be better off with his own father.

There are some reasons when you are obliged to collect children, things and run without looking back from your husband:

1. Husband beats. Whatever a woman did, she didn't deserve to be beaten.
2. Your husband abuses alcohol, drugs, is a member of a sect. Moreover, all your attempts to get a person out of a difficult situation are in vain.

Psychological trauma inflicted in childhood gives rise to cruelty, nervousness, self-doubt, a feeling of uselessness. Family integrity entails a sense of security for both children and adults. Only in a family can a person be truly happy.

If, however, a decision is made to divorce, the children usually stay with their mother. The court is also on her side. A single mother has the right to recover child support from her ex-spouse.

Attention! Due to recent changes in legislation, the information in this article may be out of date. However, each situation is individual.

To resolve your issue, fill out the following form or call the numbers listed on the site, and our lawyers will advise you for free!

I want to tell you how I cheated on my husband, why I did it and what eventually came out of this story. I have been married for 5 years and have a child. I love my husband, he is a great father and husband. Before him, I had relationships with two other men, but nothing worked out with them for various reasons. But right now, his attitude has somehow changed, some kind of aggression towards me, probably even angry.

We have a problem: he does not suit me in bed, but I really love this business and want to do it. He knows what does not suit me, knows that I do not feel much pleasure with him. How to live with it? None of the options help.

Dirty thoughts often began to appear in me, and there is also a fan with whom we communicate on the network (not even one, but two fans, it's just that the second site is not so active and writes rarely). He knows about our problem, wants me for a long time and offers help. But I'm afraid I can't decide to cheat on my husband. It seems that I will betray him (husband) by this act, but, on the other hand, I want to understand if I can even experience orgasms.

Friends came to visit us that week, we have been friends for a long time. It so happened that everyone went to bed, we sat, chatted with a friend and husband, my husband spoke badly about me, scolded me. I don’t know how it turned out that our legs were touching with his friend, everything that my husband said was unpleasant to me, for some reason I began to touch my friend’s leg more and more often ... We sat, talked, secretly stroked each other’s feet, and nearby the husband sat and did not notice anything. When he went to the toilet, his friend put my hand on his jeans - he was very ready. We were both shocked by what happened. I periodically went to the toilet, then to the bathroom to cool down.

The husband went to bed. We sat, looked at each other's site and were shocked by all this. Then there was a kiss, then there was petting. Both of us did not want to go to sleep, we wanted to continue, terrible interest and fear. Doing something at home when his wife and my husband are sleeping next to me is scary. Maybe he should have gone to bed, but I saw that he just didn’t want to sleep.

We went outside, found an entrance - passion, kisses, I was shaking all over, contact began - and he immediately finished. I had a terrible disappointment, he was in a hurry to go home so that no one would suspect anything, he was afraid that it might come out, that I would let someone know.

Only a residue remained in my soul: for so long I could not decide on treason, and when it happened, it greatly disappointed me. On the one hand, there is a logical explanation: a terrible overexcitation and therefore everything happened so quickly for him on our first time. But now I can’t think of anything else - I want to finish what I started, but that’s it. And at the same time having sex with two men is somehow unusual ...

They left, the next morning I behaved as if nothing had happened. There was no shame in front of my husband - he himself provoked me with his offensive words, it was uncomfortable in front of his girlfriend, wife of a friend. But she herself told so much how passionate he is and how he constantly wants sex and he threatens her that he will have a mistress. I did not expect such fear from him, such indecision that he, as a man, did not bring the matter to the end with me, realizing that I was left unsatisfied (in theory, he should be ashamed, knowing that with her husband this is exactly what problem).

In it, that cheating on a husband or wife occurs in married couples quite often, although there are exceptions ... If this happened to you and your conscience torments you and you don’t know how to live with it, then perhaps this article will be useful to you.

What to do NOT necessary. Remember: what is not forbidden is allowed? So in this situation: do as you see fit, but you should not do what is described below.

Don't rush to tell your husband

Even if it's your first impulse. Even if he suspects something. Don't say anything until you've thought about the situation. To begin with, imagine how your husband will react to this news, because you know him well. What will he feel: pain, resentment, anger?

Do you want to put him to this test? It is unlikely that this will help you understand yourself; rather, on the contrary, it will draw all your spiritual strength onto itself.

Don't give in to guilt

You probably blame yourself for giving in to your emotions, ruining your marriage, and so on. Stop for a minute. Guilt is an excellent manipulator. It blocks important things from you and makes you feel like a victim of circumstances.

Cheating is already a fait accompli, and reproaching yourself will not solve anything. I will say more: sometimes cheating is just an excuse to feel guilty, bad, worthless in front of your husband and children. Don't fall into this trap. You are not a bad person, even if you have done a bad deed. Anyone can make a mistake, but you can’t subordinate your whole life to a mistake.

Don't make treason a catastrophe

Yes, yes, betrayal is just a moment of life. Its meaning, like the meaning of any fact of life, is determined by our attitude towards it. And if your glass is always half full, you should look for positive moments in any event.

Cheating, like a litmus test, can indicate changes in your state of mind, disagreements with your husband, and a restructuring of life values.

To do this, you need to honestly ask yourself why this happened. Perhaps the matter is in the discrepancy between your sexual temperaments and your husband. Perhaps you have communication problems or you spend too little time together.

The main thing is that you should not be in a panic and do not blame yourself for all the sins of mankind. Then you can calmly figure out, on your own or with the help of a psychologist, what caused the betrayal.

source: xn--f1alv.xn--p1ai

Research of modern psychologists, statistics

Many studies by modern psychologists, and simply observations of the lives of ordinary people, suggest that cheating is a very common phenomenon today, although in some cultures such behavior is still considered a serious crime.

According to statistics, men go to the side more often, but the betrayal of a wife by her husband has long ceased to be something extraordinary. A couple of centuries ago, unfaithful women were severely condemned by society and even punished, but since then the world has been shaken by a cultural revolution that took place under the auspices of freedom of manifestation of the individual.

Today, the picture of family relationships and values ​​has completely turned upside down. The situation when one of the spouses has a sexual relationship on the side is already typical for many marriages.

The sad statistics says that approximately 40% of women are not faithful to their husbands. Moreover, more and more often you can find situations where people practice in marriage the so-called “free relations”, that is, a wife cheats with the consent of her husband and vice versa.

If the spouse's infidelity is suddenly revealed, a real tragedy can occur when all its members suffer during the destruction of the family. It is very difficult to understand the reasons for the decline in moral and family values ​​in each specific case, however, it is worth trying if your own family life is at stake.

Possible motives for female adultery

In the question of why in the family life of a woman it suddenly becomes possible to betray her husband, one can hardly adhere to any definite universal opinion.

Psychologists believe that most often, starting adultery, a married woman is guided by the following motives:

• dissatisfaction with one's own marriage;
• resentment against her husband, the cause of which may be his inattention or even previous betrayal on his part;
• the fading of feelings for her husband, the lack of a full-fledged sexual life with him;
• the sudden appearance of love on the side.

However, all of the listed motives, except for the last one, can hardly be somehow eliminated by starting an extramarital relationship. But women consciously or unconsciously take this step. Some just want to feel wanted and loved again, others just feel helpless in the face of problems that have arisen in their own family life.

In those families where spouses, by mutual agreement, practice polygamous relationships, everything is also not cloudless, although at first it may seem otherwise.

• Firstly, if there are children in the family, then, first of all, it is they who suffer, growing up without any concepts of morality and family values;
• Secondly, it is hardly possible to speak of great love between spouses in such a situation.

Cheating a wife with the consent of her husband will not be able to make her happy, and family relationships will simply be deprived of warmth, respect and trust.

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Double standards

Psychologists conducted a very interesting study, which showed that representatives of different sexes look differently at the problem of infidelity towards each other. So, it turned out that most men tend to believe that for them extramarital affairs are permissible, while for women it is not.

Women, on the other hand, adhere to the principle of equality in this matter, making the same demands on the representatives of the stronger sex as they do on themselves. A similar double standard appeared in the Middle Ages, when the so-called "chastity belts" were invented, which were used only for women.

Although modern scholars believe that these are fictions and no belts actually existed, the idea that men are allowed and forgiven for what women are ridiculed and condemned is still to some extent preserved in society. If we turn to world religions, then there is no double morality in them.

So, for example, the betrayal of a husband in Islam is condemned as strictly as the betrayal of a wife. Of course, modern people resolve such issues within the family, but earlier immoral behavior was punished publicly.

Is it possible to forgive cheating wife

A wife's betrayal of her husband is a serious test for a family, when not only the relationship of the spouses among themselves, but also the fate of their children, is under attack. The infidelity of a loved one hurts a man to the core, and very often it is very difficult or simply impossible to earn the forgiveness of a spouse.

What can I advise a man in such a difficult situation, when the first outburst of indignation has passed and only bitterness and deepest disappointment remain? Of course, first of all, you should try to decide whether you are ready to let go of resentment and start life with your wife anew.

If yes, then the following tips will help to cope with inner feelings:

• try to treat the situation as rationally as possible, casting unpleasant emotions into the background;
• list for yourself the qualities of a spouse for which you love her;
• try to answer: was the betrayal of your wife a mistake or a pattern caused by your inattention to her.

Of course, it’s hard to forgive betrayal, but perhaps you will be able to survive this crisis period and build a truly strong family now. After you have carefully considered the current situation, the time will come for a difficult conversation with your wife.

Listen to her explanations of what happened, see if you can accept them. In the end, you still have to make a very difficult choice: break up or stay together. It is clear that one cannot forbid oneself to feel disappointment and heartache.

It is very important that both spouses want change, understand each other and begin to change together. Then it is possible to save the relationship, and with full mutual understanding and support, such a thing as cheating on a husband or wife will never touch your family again!

source: mjusli.ru/

35 Signs of a Cheating Wife or Husband

There are many signs of betrayal. The general signs of any betrayal are different: the most obvious and characteristic. So, how to catch a loved one or a loved one on treason? You have reason to suspect that your loved one is cheating on you if:

1. Keeps his cell phone with him at all times, even at home, never allowing other family members to answer calls, make calls, or use the phone for other purposes.

2. Turns off the phone at home or sets it to vibrate at home or when you are together.

3. While at home, he ignores calls on his phone.

4. Hides or destroys bills (details) for mobile communications if he (she) has a postpaid tariff, or another tariff that involves billing with call details.

5. Doesn't answer calls or turns off the phone when on business trips or other trips.

6. Suddenly he starts to work actively, at the same time lose weight or become prettier in a different external sense, without any reasons, preparations, conversations with you.

7. Pays a lot of attention to appearance (compared to previous periods), putting a lot of effort into looking good, even if he/she is only going to the grocery store, gym, local cafe or bar, etc.

8. Suddenly starts a fitness program, attends a section, a circle of interests, or he / she has another hobby that takes a lot of time away from home, and you have no way to control where your spouse is.

9. If a simple matter like buying groceries takes a couple of hours more than necessary.

10. If he or she suddenly engages in hobbies that are not characteristic of him (her), for example, if your football fan shows interest in art and visits to galleries that he or she has never visited before, even on pain of death (often this is done to impress a lover / mistress) .

11. If your car suddenly becomes spotlessly clean, especially in the cabin (often car cleaning is done to “cover up the tracks”, and sometimes to impress a mistress / lover).

12. If he or she returns from the grocery store or other household "hikes" refreshed by the smell of her (his) perfume or other strong-smelling products (usually strengthening their own smells hides fears of someone else's smell).

13. If he/she hides or destroys receipts from purchases.

14. If he / she cannot or does not want to tell you where they are staying or what they do at night on business trips and other trips.

15. If he / she shows irritation or anger when you ask about the reason or the very fact of a long absence.

16. If he / she suddenly starts working late, but you do not find him (her) at the workplace (for example, he does not pick up a work, landline phone).

17. If he/she tells you that he/she regularly goes to a bar, cafe or diner after work, but does not tell you which one.

18. If you get very angry when you ask the usual things about his (her) being here or there, and he (she) gives you a “storm in a teacup” in response.

19. If he rushes to shower as soon as he arrives, avoiding physical contact with you (fears that the smell of his mistress / lover could remain on him (her). The washing machine also "relieves fear and guilt."

20. If, when he comes home, he immediately throws things into the “washer”.

21. If he or she must (should) urgently go on a business trip, but does not say where or claims that he does not know where he is, the room number, the phone number in the room or the hotel administrator, etc.

22. If your (a) spouse moves away and is careless towards you, and also, as it were, no longer needs sex in the quantities or volumes that are familiar to you.

23. If your (a) spouse (s) becomes unusually nervous (oh) when you are about what he / she did during the day.

24. If your spouse refuses to go anywhere together and insists on going or doing it alone (or if your spouse agrees to go together but is very annoyed): this may mean that the lovers were forced to cancel the meeting because of you).

25. If this is not the first time you have caught sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) from your husband / wife (but which, in theory, can be caught in everyday life).

26. If the husband / wife refuses to make love without explanation and is downright protective of the intimate parts of the body (perhaps this is due to STDs, infections or bodily evidence of intimacy on the side, such as abrasions, redness, scratches, bites or pain in sensitive areas).

27. If you are in a conversation with a girlfriend / friend or colleague, find out that they know more about you and your family than they should. This person may be a lover / mistress of a husband / wife or know about the facts of infidelity (especially if he often says that he knew (a) spouse / spouse before you).

28. If you feel his (her) inexplicable awkwardness at dinner parties or other social events in the presence of someone else, for example, if the person is exaggeratedly pretending not to know your spouse or one of the possible lovers is nervous in his (her) presence.

29. Spends hours on the phone, especially after you go to bed or early in the morning, or if he/she regularly gets up at night to use the computer.

30. Quickly turns off the computer or switches the browser when you enter a room or if he/she gets nervous when you stand too close to the computer while he/she is using it.

31. If you find dirty (used) paper towels, toilet paper or tissues under the computer desk.

32. If he / she suddenly starts to lack money (lovers often buy expensive gifts). Your spouse (like your spouse) may pay for stays in expensive hotel rooms, buy expensive meals to impress a mistress / lover, or even pay rent for a love nest.

33. Some men buy sports cars (or close to that) to impress a young mistress, despite the little practicality of such a car for the family.

34. Otherwise put the front seat of the car. You sit down and feel that the regulations are violated!

35. Occasionally, his/her hikes do not match the itinerary. He says that he will go there, in fact, he was not seen there.