What is a psychological attack? Panic attacks

This article is inaccurate and dangerous in places, and contains a large number of unjustified negative suggestions. We decided to bring it up precisely because the topic is important, it needs to be understood, and the views of A.G. Safronov can initiate a truly scientific study of this issue.

Sincerely, Editorial Board of Psychologos

Psychological attacks in our lives

Have there ever been times in your life when after communication with someone your condition has worsened: your mood has deteriorated, irritation or apathy, internal dissatisfaction, weakened confidence in your power? If the answer to this question is yes, you can be sure that you have become a victim of a psychological attack.

Have you ever suppressed other people, subjugated them to your will, forced them to do something unpleasant? If so, you yourself used psychological attack techniques.

What is a psychological attack, what are its methods and causes, and how to protect yourself from it?

A psychological attack is any action or statement as a result of which a person is deprived of his internal psychological integrity.

In order to successfully defend against such an attack, you need to recognize that it is happening. A psychological attack, unlike a physical one, is not always immediately visible. Often it is hidden under the guise of a business or friendly conversation, benevolent instruction, philosophical discussion of a problem, family advice, etc.

One of the available methods that allows you to realize the fact of a psychological attack is to track discomfort states that arise during communication.

The appearance of such states in the process of communication is perfectly described by I. Ilf and E. Petrov in an episode telling how a great strategist took control of the former leader of the nobility. Let us list these states and illustrate them with examples from the indicated episode.

• The appearance of a feeling of psychological discomfort during communication: nervousness, excitement, panic, unpleasant sensations in the body.

Ippolit Matveyevich had never dealt with such a temperamental young man as Bender, and he felt bad.

“Well, you know, I’ll go,” he said.

Where will you go? There is no hurry for you. The GPU will come to you on its own.

• The manifestation of certain stereotypes behavior imposed roles.

Ippolit Matveyevich...didn’t dare to leave. He felt very timid at the thought that the unknown young man would spread all over the city that the former leader had arrived. Then it’s all over, and maybe they’ll go to jail.

“You still don’t tell anyone that you saw me,” said Ippolit Matveevich pleadingly, “they might actually think that I’m an emigrant.”

• Imbalance in the distribution of responsibility. It occurs when a person, during communication, suddenly notices that he “should” do something, without knowing where this obligation came from.

Ippolit Matveyevich, driven to despair... submitted.

Okay,” he said, “I’ll explain everything to you.”

“After all, it’s difficult without an assistant,” thought Ippolit Matveyevich, “and he seems to be a big swindler. This one might be useful."

Why are we being attacked?

In everyone's life, problematic situations happen that cause a lot of unpleasant experiences. If you look closely at such situations, you will notice that situations that are problematic and unpleasant for one person may not be noticed at all by other people. Another pattern can be noted: in the life of every person, approximately the same type of problem situations occur. So, one person becomes a victim of family scandals, another is often accosted on the street, a third is given overwhelming tasks at work and is constantly reprimanded for failure to complete them, a fourth constantly experiences problems with his chosen life partners, etc.

No matter how perfect a person is, such situations still get in his way, since it is precisely such situations that are the source of further spiritual growth. Trying to find a way out of such situations, a person develops the qualities he lacks and comprehends previously unstudied laws of Nature. However, such situations can bring not only spiritual growth, but also significant energy losses.

Why is this happening? What makes a person get into the same type of trouble over and over again? What attracts situations to him that cause these troubles? The answer is obvious. The source of one’s troubles and the magnet for corresponding situations is the person himself, or rather his energy structure.

So why are we being attacked? At first glance, the reasons for any attack lie in the psychological characteristics of the attacker (aggressor). However, such behavior is associated with deeper reasons, one of which is the existence of life scenarios, in accordance with which every person lives and acts.

Set against another person, this can have a strong negative impact.

Despite the fact that the attitude itself does not carry physical violence, the aggression that hides inside a person contains a strong flow of negative energy.

Such energy can not only have a psychological effect, but can also greatly affect your body.

Read also: 10 signs that BIG CHANGES are coming in your life

Negative influence

However, it is worth noting that you will feel such an unfavorable effect only if the negative energy has a clear direction, that is, the person concentrates specifically on you.

If aggression is released (not physically), you feel an energetic attack, you begin to feel bad, weakness appears, and the number of unpleasant events in life increases.

It would not be out of place to say that a psychological attack is not always intentional - a person can unconsciously organize it.

This happens when a person has experienced very strong negative emotions and, to some extent, was interfered with. For example, a person was striving for his goal, he really wanted to do or get something, and you accidentally distracted him or interfered with him. It could also be that you reminded the person of someone they can't stand.

But there are also deliberate energy attacks. This happens when a person deliberately wishes you harm and even wants to throw out negative energy on you himself or with the help of third parties.

Psychological attack

4 ways to protect yourself from negative influences

The self-defense techniques described below from negative influences should be performed in cold blood. To begin with, you should practice for at least a couple of weeks at home in the mornings and evenings, after sleep and before it.

As a rule, one or two protection methods are chosen. Moreover, protection is effective only when you do not wish harm to the person who is attacking you with negative energy, and also when you want everyone to be healthy and happy and live in harmony.

1. Imaginary defense or “I am emptiness.”

When you feel negatively affected, relax, imagine yourself as air, leaves or emptiness and expose yourself to the blow. Imagine how the blow passes through you, that is, through the air, and dissipates like smoke. With all this, there is no need to doubt, but do everything in cold blood.

2. Existential fence or “We’re even.”

When you feel hit by negative energy, just think “we’re even,” while remaining calm and not responding back. You will feel the problem disappear. The point is that the negative energy you have experienced may have been a result of bad things you did in the past. After all, everything a person does comes back to him like a boomerang.

3. Behavioral cover or separation from society.

Find a day in your schedule when you have nothing to do, or little or nothing to do. You just need to separate yourself from everything around you. To do this, turn off your phone, don’t say anything, don’t watch TV, don’t sit on the computer or read newspapers and magazines. Less movement, calm breathing and the blow of negative energy will “bounce off” from you and return to the one who sent it.

4. Special defense exercise.

This exercise is worth doing if the previous methods did not have the desired effect.

Here's what to do:

1. Prepare a chair or armchair and sit on the edge.

2. Don't cross your legs and arms, and keep your feet flat on the floor.

3. Inhale and exhale deeply several times.

4. Now inhale and exhale sharply and hold your breath until it comes out on its own. In the meantime, there is a pause, try to focus on your tailbone, feel its pulsation.

* At this time, your head should be empty.

When the inhalation breaks through, the blows will return to the one who directed them at you.

The influence on the human subconscious consists of interconnected, sequential methods, excluding one of which may not achieve results.

Methods of influence:

1. Pressure;
2. Attack;
3. Programming;
4. Manipulation.

During communicative interaction, these methods follow one after another, rarely violating the established order. After all, you cannot begin manipulation without preparing the ground with psychological pressure or attack.

Psychological attack is one of the methods of psychological influence, the main goal of which is to weaken a person’s vigilance so much as to make him pliable to someone else’s will. This is the so-called springboard for successful manipulation. Many people mistakenly believe that the main purpose of a psychological attack is to use force and suppression to break a person’s will and force him to obey. But everything is much more complicated, this is just one type of psychological attack, which is called force, and is not the most popular and effective.

• There are other types of attacks, they are aimed at different levels of the subconscious and affect different psycho-complexes (“weak points” of a person). If a forceful attack is mainly aimed at such a psychocomplex as fear, then a logical and value-based attack is aimed at self-doubt and low self-esteem. Emotional for sensuality, pity, guilt, and sexual for masculinity or femininity, depending on the gender of the interlocutor.
• The logical type of attack is often used during discussions or negotiations, in cases where it is necessary to confuse the interlocutor, break his logical chain, make him doubt himself and his arguments, and cause a feeling of insecurity. If the attack is successful, then the interlocutor is completely demoralized and ready to agree with all the arguments of his opponent. Speech during an attack should be assertive, fast, loaded with terms and complex structures; NLP is often used. For example, the attacker says to his interlocutor: “You are an intelligent person, and you cannot disagree with me!” Firstly, the “not” particle is skipped by our subconscious, and our brain understands the phrase as follows: “You are an intelligent person, and you can agree with me.” Secondly, this phrase can confuse your opponent; he must either understand and agree, or admit that he is a fool.
• The next type of psychological attack is value-based. It is aimed at instilling an idea in one person or group of people. Television advertising is a very clear example. Politicians also use value-based psychological attacks during their speeches. They affect such psychocomplexes as vanity and greed. Often, in order to achieve some goal, the attacker offers to make a bet, a deal, because of the desire to receive an imaginary benefit in the future, the person becomes controlled.
• The next type of psychological attack is emotional. It works well when communicating with a person who has strong psychocomplexes: pity, guilt, modesty, self-doubt. If you make a person feel both pity and guilt, you can do whatever you want with him; these are such strong feelings that reinforce each other when paired. Naturally, no one will use this type of attack during business negotiations, but it is good in communicating with ordinary people.
• A sexual psychological attack is considered a subtype of emotional, although it affects other psychocomplexes: masculinity or femininity. It works like this: they give you a slightly ambiguous compliment or hint. The result is a distraction of attention, a release of tension. And now you are no longer so focused, perhaps confused, and have forgotten half of what you wanted.

The main goal of any type of psychological attack is for the interlocutor to lose vigilance, relax and open his subconscious to the following methods of psychological influence (programming or manipulation).

Psychiatry, as a science about the inner world of a person, has accumulated not only knowledge about the treatment of mental disorders. It is difficult to find better manipulators of people than psychiatrists and psychotherapists. They use mental “gaps”, weak points, for unauthorized access to the holy of holies - the subconscious and, thus, control us, achieving the desired result. Of course, doctors use this for the benefit of patients. However, you also have the right to learn about such “holes” and use them yourself.

There are times in life when you need to “break” the program of your interlocutor or opponent. By the way, think about it: do those around you always treat you kindly or are they waiting for the moment when you stumble? How is your relationship with your superiors?
While leaving the reader the right to choose in the use of some recipes, I also leave him responsible for the consequences of their use. WARNING! It's not always safe. You can also get it in the face...

Moving on to the techniques of psychodefense and attack, psychosocial technologies, let’s decide what we want? Get out of difficult situations with honor and dignity, avoid a decline in your sense of self-worth, “make” your opponent, and always be confident in yourself.

All methods of defense and attack can be divided into conscious (used purposefully) and unconscious (implemented by the psyche itself in response to a stimulus).

1. METHODS OF PROTECTION APPLIED PURPOSELY AND CONSCIOUSLY

Depreciation
It originates from transactional analysis, a detailed presentation of which can be found in Eric Berne's book “Games People Play.” The attacker is considered as a Parent (a person who knows what to do, teaches, punishes, etc.), and the defender as a Child. The child does not argue or prove that he is right, but gently and somewhat guiltily agrees:
- “Yes, I’m bad. Yes, I’m 3 hours late. Maybe I’m really not right in the head?” etc.
The use of depreciation is justified in conflicts with people on whom you are somewhat dependent and/or with whom you want to maintain good relations. In a conversation, each interlocutor “sends” and in turn “receives” an impulse. This is a simplified concept of a transaction. During this process, he sends and receives these impulses from one of three positions - Parent, Adult or Child. For example, when you are angry with someone and threaten to punish, you are acting as a Parent. When you fool around with your loved one, you are a Child. When you are a cold computer and discussing the possible benefits of a new direction for your business with colleagues, you are an Adult. "Shifts" happen all the time.
Personality structure according to Eric Berne:

The transaction (communication) looks like this:

The peculiarity of the transaction is that it is directed to a certain part of the personality - Parent, Adult, Child. The secret of conflict-free communication is to grasp which part of the personality the transaction is directed to and respond “parallel”, as in the figure. If transactions intersect, then a conflict arises.
For example: from Parent to Child: “Ivanov! Don’t you want to drink to my health! Come on, pour it!” A response transaction directed from Adult to Adult will lead to conflict (intersection): “I can’t, I’m driving, etc.:”

Transactional analysis according to Eric Berne is very popular among psychotherapists.

Grotesque Enhancement
In response to the offensive words of the aggressor, you increase their “offense”:
- You are a bad, heartless person.
- Yes, I’m generally a vile, disgusting guy, people shy away from me on the street

The use of grotesque enhancement is justified in conflicts with people on whom you do not depend and/or with whom you do not care about relationships.

Third person defense
In response to the words of the aggressor, you turn to an animate or inanimate helper:
- My dear friend, just look how unhappy this screaming, disheveled man is. His scream makes drool fly out of his mouth so funny!
The use of the third party defense can be carried out in a wide range depending on the degree of assessment you choose. Minimal (practically non-offensive, the same as feedback) is only objective information about the interlocutor (loud or not voice, intonation of speech, etc.), maximum (encourages you to express your emotions physically) is a shortcut. This method is considered the most effective for breaking through someone's defense.

Military version ("for the fool")
In response to the “assault,” you respond with words from “another opera.” For example, if you are told:
“I warned you that if I see you sleeping here again on night duty, I’ll kick you out of work, and now you’re caught, my dear!”
Try answering:
- How many times do I remind the mechanic - go into the basement, fix the cold water pipe, but no, he closes the hot one...!
And having seized the initiative, emotionally continue to pursue your line. After just a few phrases, the aggressor will be so discouraged that he will helplessly wave his hand at you - what a fool to mess with.

Shifting the focus of the problem (to the attacker)
To the “attack,” you respond: “I look at you, how you say it, how you choose your words, and I’m convinced that you definitely have a problem with this, serious difficulties: you work on it.”
The aggressor immediately begins to reflect (focus attention on the events of the inner world) and load up. The use of transferring the center of the problem can be used in conflicts with different people with your subsequent disappearance (while he is there thinking).

Transformation or reshaping (visualization of a negative image of the attacker)
Imagining the aggressor: - in a “clown outfit”
- naked
- reduced in size
- in a coffin
You may notice that his offensive words are not so offensive, and in general he suddenly evokes pity, sympathy, a desire to help him in his misfortune, or you, unexpectedly for yourself and for him, begin to smile. At least a dead naked dwarf dressed in a clown hat and lying in a coffin will not be able to influence you as much as a big and formidable boss. The use of transformation is justified in cases where you can only remain silent.

2. METHODS OF PROTECTION IMPLEMENTED BY THE PSYCHE INDEPENDENTLY (“NORM”)

Perceptual deformation
The act of perception is divided into two stages - unconscious (perception) and conscious (image recognition). Basic subprograms of the psyche (subconscious) can assume the level of emotional reaction at the second stage, and if pain, disappointment, frustration are possible, then the second stage is “deformed”.
This is best described by the saying “love is blind”, which is used in the case when the objectively “bad” actions of the “object of adoration” are not noticed by the person in love.

crowding out
After some time, events that cause pain, fear, and other strong emotions are “forgotten.” This phenomenon is called repression.
A good example is two best friends who previously had a fight. At a subsequent meeting, they both “forget” about the disagreement.

Rationalization
Reducing the importance of an object for which it was not possible to satisfy the need (“the fool himself”).

Perception of oneself as weak
"Who am I to decide to do THIS?"

Removal
Realization of one’s emotional and motor tendencies on objects that did not cause them (taking anger out on family members).

Escaping into an imaginary world
Who among us doesn't dream?

Projection
Transferring unconscious negative motives to others and correspondingly interpreting the behavior of others (“EVERYONE steals; EVERYONE drinks”)
Note: not to be confused with a person’s completely objective ability to predict or identify patterns in the behavior of others. Projection is total.

Sublimation (self-actualization, creativity)
An illicit or unrealizable desire is transformed into a socially approved act (lovers writing poetry to an “inaccessible” object of desire).

Fixation
Rooted in our “brutal” past. Automatic repetition of random actions or actions that preceded an emotionally positive event (pre-exam ritual).

Distancing (communication within formal behavior)
The person who caused the inconvenience moves away and communication is reduced to formal (“hello” and “goodbye”).

Changing Attitude
In response to a person’s actions, your ideas about him and your attitude towards him change. Adequate implementation of this method is considered a sign of a healthy personality.

3. METHODS OF ATTACK

Commenting (out loud to yourself or an assistant)
Similar to the "third person attack" (see above). Remarks are spoken (as if for oneself, but those around them also hear them), regarding the motives of the interlocutor, his personality, etc.

"Three-Move"
Attack in three stages:
- a non-judgmental description of what is happening (“I worked for 8 hours today, I came home, it’s already evening, there are unwashed dishes in the kitchen, the table has not been wiped…”)
- description of the emotions that arose (“... this makes me feel offended, I feel uncomfortable...”)
- desired (“...I want you to clean up the trash or do this and that.”)

Comparison in your favor
Experiences that are significant to your interlocutor are devalued by you. For example, a distant acquaintance talks for a long time about how his beloved mother-in-law has been seriously ill for a long time, and he heroically searches for her medicine throughout the city (“well, everyone was sick and nothing, we live”)

4. SOME DEFENSE-ATTACK OPTIONS

Interpretation (labeling)
Explaining the motives of behavior to the person implementing this behavior. Such an appeal “hurts” the interlocutor, since often your explanation has nothing to do with the true reasons. After your interlocutor “explodes”, try to transfer the center of the problem to the attacker (see above).

Blackmail
If your position is vulnerable, you can try to intimidate the person.

Demonstrative aggressiveness
Having committed an offense, you can behave deliberately rudely, find fault with little things, and “distract attention.” More often than not, the object is “being maintained.”

5. "RUG" PSYCHODEFENSE, MISCELLANEOUS
"Unfastened fly" or emptying the memory buffer. Memorization of information by a person takes place in several stages, and despite the enormous long-term memory, the RAM buffer is small. To prevent memorization, you can overfill it and then the information will be lost forever. A typical example: your girlfriend just told her home phone number to a guy you don't think should know it. You need to immediately fill his RAM with information that is more meaningful to him: immediately pay attention to his unfastened codpiece - “your fly is unzipped!” or even more rudely - “is it true that you don’t have one egg?” If this is a woman, tell her that either her lipstick is smudged or there is a greasy stain on her clothes.

"If only I had a lower jaw like that"
Mention of facial imperfections (not always real) is psychologically traumatic for a woman. An instructive example comes to mind in this regard. Someone (in Soviet times) waited his turn to see the scandalous saleswoman and said thoughtfully: “Yeah, if I had a chin like that, I would behave like that too.” After that, without buying anything, he left the store. At home, the woman studied her reflection in the mirror for a long time, after which she “realized” what an ugly (large or small or crooked - she herself determined this for herself) lower jaw. Subsequently, she was treated for a long time by a psychotherapist, who told me this story.

"I'm in office 12"
To get past the watchman who is still trying to stop you without a pass, get ahead of him by saying: “I’m going to office 12.” Let him think, and don’t waste time.

Inducing a trance with paradoxical logic
When my psychotherapist friend is stopped by a traffic cop, he deliberately makes excuses for a while, and then uses a phrase with paradoxical logic (in which everything is grammatically correct, but the parts are not logically connected): “Actually, I’m a careful driver because... I’m a doctor” and remains silent. The traffic cop looks thoughtfully into space, feels that something is wrong, but cannot understand, hands over the documents and says: “Goodbye.”

Breakdown of the action program
Unpredictable behavior that goes beyond what is expected of you is very discouraging and gives you a time out. For example, you are moving on an empty road in the second or third lane and suddenly you feel that the traffic cop standing in front wants to stop you. He expects you to want to be "away from him." Don't waste time - break the program - turn on the right turn and take the lane closest to it. While he is thinking about your illogical action, drive by. OR: in a dark alley, dark characters ask you for a smoke. The answers expected from you are: “no, take it, I quit,” etc. Break the program, say something like: “Both of you! You were shown on TV today” or about a closed library or something else and walk by while the enemy is thinking - what does TV have to do with it?

It's even strange that you're talking about this...
Sometimes in the process of a dispute or conflict, when the two sides have already reached an impasse and the constructive thread of the conversation has been lost, one of the ways to end a fruitless conversation can be used. Wait until your opponent says something like: “Yes, I’m good, I did this and that for you...” and puzzle him: “Actually, our conversation touched on such and such a topic, and it’s even strange, what are you saying about this..."
Now you can leave safely.

Practical Neuro-Linguistic Programming
a) the “three Yes” method
This is a typically NLP-st (NLP read as en-el-pi) way of persuading an interlocutor. NLP is a relatively new area of ​​psychology that has replaced the classical hypnotic method in some of its clinical variants. NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) allows you to maintain full contact with the patient, without immersing him in hypnosis. The conversation is structured in such a way that the patient does not notice the “impact.”
The “three Yes” technique (there are also “seven Yes” and “nine Yes”, but they are not applicable in everyday conversation) is as follows.
Think to yourself of three (or more) compelling properties (or qualities, or events) of your case and construct a coherent sentence from them. Then add the controversial statement that needs to be pushed. When “pronouncing”, the following happens: the interlocutor hears your first statement and silently says “Yes” (therefore, indisputability is needed - real facts are best suited for this: the sky is blue, paper money, a wooden fence, etc.), the same thing happens with the second (if you want, add the third and fourth and fifth - just so that the interlocutor does not get bored from the monologue). Now, when you pronounce a controversial statement with a questioning intonation, the answer “Yes” can be heard more often than “No”.
A modification of this method is the three “No” method.
b) "Yes, but..."
The particle “but” carries negation. Surely, you have had to listen more than once: “Yes, this is a wonderful thing, so useful in business, necessary, but... come back tomorrow.” Translated into “subconscious language” this phrase sounds like this: “This thing is useless, unnecessary and not interesting to me.” This way you can always veil your refusal.
How do you like the phrase: “You are a smart, well-mannered person, but you forgot to say hello”?
c) drop-down "not"
Psychologists have established an interesting property of memory in relation to all kinds of prohibitions. It turned out that man wants to violate them and has been violating them very successfully, since the time of Adam and Eve.
In the case when some request contains a “no,” then this “no” is forgotten and the rest of the wish is fulfilled. Most likely, the wish “don’t forget to water the flowers every morning” will transform into the completely opposite (you can check it yourself - remove the “not”).
If you want your requests to be fulfilled, form them without “no” - “water the flowers every morning!” In other cases, you can “set up” a person with such requests, and then remind him about it for a long time...

The "Stop-Stop" method and the technique against it
If you want to confuse your interlocutor's thoughts, then it is very simple to do this: say “Stop, stop!” and pretending that you didn’t understand, ask him again (you can simply repeat his last sentence with an interrogative situation). This really confuses your thoughts and breaks the “program”.
If you are talking passionately about something and suddenly hear “Wait, wait!”, then know that this technique is being used against you. The countermeasure is accompanied by a statement (with an element of indignation): “Wait what!?” (this “breaks the opponent’s program”).

Expression of "sympathy"
If you have become the object of someone’s absolutely groundless, malicious attacks (for example, a conductor on a tram is yelling or they are trying to drag you into a bus squabble by “labeling”) and at the same time you know your worth, then the generally accepted actions (argument, retaliatory “labeling”) ") will devalue you in the eyes of others. Such situations are generally considered an indicator of internal self-esteem. High self-esteem is combined with compassionate, empathic behavior. People are not going well in their family life, have problems at work, and so on. So don't say anything, sympathize...

Method of "choice behavior"
This method is described by Richard Bach in his book The Reluctant Messiah:
"...only similarities attract. By acting in a way that is characteristic of you and your personality, constantly asking yourself - is this what I want to do? - and continuing only after an affirmative answer, you will notice that those people who perceive these actions as stupid and empty , gradually push away and leave, those who see depth, meaning and kinship in them are attracted to you and form your environment...."

Method of "attraction"
This is more of an everyday way to make yourself attractive in the eyes of your interlocutor. The interlocutor always likes it when people are interested in his ideas, points of view on certain events, plans for the future, etc. In a conversation, try to talk more about your interlocutor and your status will increase dramatically. Try not to overdo it and not reach the point of fawning - you are also an individual with your own point of view. And it’s always a pleasure to communicate with a person.
The interlocutor likes it if:

• forgive when he is not quite right
• he is respected
• he feels that he should not be in the best shape (well, a little drunk, not always like that)
• value his opinion
• they trust him (that he tells the truth)
• he feels that it is pleasant to be with him
• he should not wear a mask and behave formally
• they listen to him
• he is consulted on important issues
• you care what happens to him

A way to “meet a beautiful member of the opposite sex”
There is such a theory that everything that we learn in our lives is actually already known to us, only we... forgot about it.
Communicate with a new person as with your old acquaintance - ask: “What's new?”, share your news, argue, be relaxed and spontaneous.

The Great Listener Method
An excellent listener differs from just a listener in that he is not silent, looking faithfully into the eyes, but stimulates his interlocutor and encourages him. There are such active listening techniques as: Repetition and reformulation (paraphrase and repetition) - you clarify in your own words what you heard
Reflection - you try to identify the main feeling in which the interlocutor is located
Generalization - the main thing is selected from a large amount of information. This can be done either using paraphrases or clarifying questions. For example, if the interlocutor makes a large number of claims, you can clarify: “What worries you most?”

The "Did I understand you correctly...?" method.
Helps in communicating with people who are afraid to take responsibility. For example, someone “attacks” you, tries to intimidate you, etc. After waiting for a pause, ask again: “Did I understand correctly that you are trying to run into me?” If the enemy hesitated, then hurray, if he answered in the affirmative, then you can continue your line (sympathetically): “It doesn’t work out any other way, right?” In general, I believe that fighting and scuffles are the result of underdevelopment of the speech apparatus.

"Everything is a choice"
In the event that they try to put pressure on you that your action or inaction brings pain, disappointment or other troubles, remember that a person independently, in the process of his development, chooses what he likes and what he doesn’t, where to experience joy and where suffer from pain. As they say, we are not offended, but we are offended.
Example: “Don’t you dare write unflattering reviews about this page, it causes me terrible pain!”

Yaroslav Filatov, psychotherapist

Chapter 13. Reflecting psychic attacks

None of us exists alone, in some kind of vacuum, where he alone is the active element, and everyone else remains neutral. We interact with people, which means not only do we influence others, but others also influence us. And this influence can sometimes be unceremonious and aggressive, and sometimes downright manipulative.

Throughout the workshop, you learned to influence yourself, influence other people; but at the same time, it is important to realize that other people may very consciously try to influence you. You must be prepared for any psychological attacks, you must be able to repel them.

Types of psychological aggressors

People who use psychological aggression can be divided into three types.

The first type of psychological aggressors includes ordinary people who are mentally quite adequate. You and I belong to this type. Such people attack only under stress. Dealing with attacks from these people is not difficult. Sometimes a simple conversation is enough to extinguish aggression and understand the situation.

The second type includes people who deliberately resort to psychological pressure. For them, it is a way to achieve their goal. This is the most dangerous type of psychological aggressor. For them, this is a way of life; in psychological warfare, they feel on their own territory.

The third type includes people with pathological mental disorders, or people under the influence of alcohol or drugs. You need to stay as far away from such people as possible. It is not recommended to enter into any negotiations with them.

When communicating with people, it is very important to assess which category they belong to. Your reaction will depend on this assessment. With the third type of aggressor everything is clear. Drunk or mentally unstable people are not difficult to recognize. But the first and second types are practically indistinguishable from each other, especially if the person is not familiar to you.

The right type can only be recognized through experience. First, try talking to the aggressor. If a calm conversation calms him down, then this is the first type. The person is simply overtired and snaps - his attack is not directed against you personally, it is the consequences of stress. But if the attacks continue and become more and more sophisticated, you can rest assured that you are dealing with the second type. And then methods of psychological defense will come in handy.

Run away from other people's negativity

There is also a type of attacking people whom I would not like to classify as a certain type - simply because they cannot be classified as psychological aggressors. These are people who have obsessive negative thinking. They constantly lament their past, are extremely dissatisfied with the present, and look longingly to the future. These are convinced pessimists who seek to impose their view of the world on anyone who is willing to listen to them. Moreover, most of these people have an average fate, in which there are no more failures and tragedies than any other person.

Quite often, pessimists are quite successful at work and prosperous in family life. But they do not want and cannot rejoice in their well-being. I treated a woman who worked in the management of a large company. She had an excellent income, a good house, a husband, and children. As a specialist and as a woman, she fully realized herself, but came to me with a diagnosis of depression. According to her, it turned out that there was not a single joyful day in her life! Her whole fate is a string of gloomy, dreary days without enlightenment. She even perceived her own wedding and the birth of children as something very sad.

This lady had deep psychological problems, and, in the end, we were able to solve them with the help of hypnosis. But I always scheduled her sessions at the very end of the day so that she would not run into other patients. Because her conversations were a real psychic attack. She put the most cheerful people in a pessimistic mood.

People like this woman should be avoided. It is extremely difficult to resist them. If there are pessimists in your environment, change this environment. Run away from other people's negativity.

Basics of psychological defense

When faced with an aggressor, it is important not to “show him your back.” Take his challenge head on. Don't lose sight of him, look him straight in the eye. If you look away or turn away, he will almost certainly think that this is a sign of weakness, that you are afraid of him. Which, of course, will only give him strength. He will continue to think that you can be humiliated and insulted at any moment. Don't let this happen.

When you become the target of a psychological attack, it is important to instantly gain self-control, become a confident, cool, calm person with an iron will. And definitely with a firm look! Very often it is such a strong-willed, confident look that instantly stops an attack. To develop such a look, the technique of concentrating on a candle flame will help you.

Monitor your physical condition, breathing and body position. Breathing should be even, your back should be straight. Do not hide from the offender, do not cross your arms and legs. On the contrary, take a pose of maximum openness. By doing this, you will demonstrate to the aggressor that you are not afraid of him and are ready to accept the challenge.

Study the aggressor

What causes us the most inconvenience is the same aggressors, whom we have known for many years. Of course, there are also psychological attacks from people we don’t know, but these one-time attacks have little effect on our condition and can be ignored. But those with whom we deal every day cause us considerable harm.

These could be relatives, neighbors, colleagues, bosses or “sworn friends”. To defeat such an aggressor, you need to declare psychological war on him and win it. And to win the war, you need to know all the weaknesses and strengths of the enemy.

First, collect all available information about your opponent. Even if you have known this person since childhood, some aspects of his life are still hidden from you. Watch this person carefully, try to get information about him from other people: spouses, lovers, former and current colleagues, casual acquaintances. Record, organize and analyze this information. Look for a gap in the enemy's defenses.

War requires an army. Your army is your like-minded people. A psychological abuser never terrorizes just one victim. As a rule, there are several of these victims. Find out who these people are and make friends with them.

Make a plan for "military action." You will need a schedule - which victim meets with the aggressor at what time. Next, this schedule needs to be adjusted so that when someone from your “army” meets the aggressor, another “soldier” is nearby. At the slightest sign of aggression, fight back, and strike at the enemy’s weakest point. By acting together, you will quickly defeat the aggressor and discourage him from any desire to attack.

"Black dot"

This exercise will help you develop a firm, strong-willed gaze with which you can “pierce” your opponent.

Take a sheet of A4 paper. In the center, draw a black dot with a diameter of 1–1.5 cm. Hang the sheet on the wall, sit in front of it at a distance of about half a meter, and look at this black circle. You must look at it without blinking. Everything else should disappear from view.

You need to bring yourself to a state where you only see this black dot and nothing more. Don't be surprised if after some time this dot starts to “glow.” This is a normal visual reflex; there is no mysticism in this effect. Continue with the exercise anyway.

This exercise should be performed for 3-5 minutes. Do it every day, and your look will become “iron.”

"Eyes to eyes"

This technique can be practiced with a partner or with yourself. If you are together, sit opposite each other and look into each other's eyes for two to three minutes without blinking. Play the game of “who will review who.” This is training to look intently into the eyes of the enemy. If you exercise without a partner, you can look into the eyes of your own reflection in the mirror.

"Suspension"

Imagine that the attacker is in a giant flask made of thick glass. The flask is sealed, its walls are so thick and strong that not a single sound reaches you. The man in the flask says something, expresses some emotions, but you don’t hear his voice, you don’t feel his emotions. His anger does not reach you; you don’t even know whether he is angry or happy. You must visualize this image until it feels completely real. Visualization can begin immediately at the moment of communication, or before it - if you know that you are about to meet with a person who will attack you.

Instead of a flask, you can imagine an armored car, an energy cocoon, a flying saucer, a prison - in short, anything that can isolate your aggressor. You'll be surprised how quickly the attack wears off. After all, thought is material. If you really imagine that your aggressor is isolated, he will actually feel isolated. He will become polite and friendly, perhaps even ingratiating. He will just feel that you are stronger than him, and he will not “get” you.

"Dead point"

This method consists of looking at a special “dead spot” on the aggressor’s face. This point is located under the nose. When you look at her, the person becomes embarrassed. He subconsciously feels that you saw something unsightly on his face, some kind of flaw. Because he does not understand the reasons for this embarrassment, he is lost.

The main thing is not to take your eyes off the “dead spot”. Look long and hard - and the psychological attack will choke, the enemy will be defeated and leave in disgrace. Moreover: this technique is capable of incapacitating the aggressor for several hours. He will be tormented by a vague feeling that something is wrong with him, but he will never understand what exactly.

"Drawing a cartoon"

This technique is very effective - but only if you have a well-developed imagination. In a situation of psychological attack, imagine your aggressor as a cartoon character, and the whole situation as a script for a cartoon.

It’s not difficult to start visualizing; to do this, you just need to normalize your breathing. So first, start breathing slowly and rhythmically. Focus on breathing for a few seconds, and then command yourself, like a director: “Motor, camera, let's shoot!” And start making a cartoon.

Imagine your aggressor as an evil dwarf or insect. You may see this person in a funny, ridiculous outfit, or without any clothes at all. Perhaps, according to the cartoon script, your opponent is an alien, and he speaks an unknown language, which sounds very rude to the ear, but you know that in reality he is just greeting you.

"Stop the Moment"

Imagine that your consciousness is a camera. “Press the shutter” and capture the surrounding image in your memory. Imagine how it will look in the photograph: a pedestrian froze halfway, a tree forever bent under a gust of wind, a bird frozen in the sky, etc. Take several such “frames” during the day, and “view” them in the evening.

The more often you do this exercise, the better the quality of your mental “photo” will be. The skills of such “mental photography” will greatly help you when repelling a psychic attack. It will be enough to “press the trigger” and momentarily capture the attacker’s facial expression and posture in order to distance himself from the situation.

"Slowing down"

You have already become acquainted with this method in the chapter “Techniques of support and guidance.” Nevertheless, it should be mentioned separately in connection with the topic of psychological attacks. The person who attacks is always in an unstable state and extremely susceptible to any extraneous tension. Use this sensitivity.

When someone speaks to you in a raised voice, also raise your tone of voice, speak louder and louder, you can even start shouting. This can be done even if the person is not yelling at you. After you reach the highest point of tension, begin to gradually “slow down” and calm down. Your aggressor, without noticing it, will also begin to calm down.

"Mobilization"

Aggressors usually attack relaxed and unprotected people. An attack can be prevented by instantly mobilizing all the forces of the body.

Imagine that you are an athlete getting ready to start. Try to imitate his condition. Imagine how you are focused on the goal, your body is collected, toned, a slight tension is felt in the muscles, ready at any moment to develop into rapid movement. The aggressor will certainly feel this and stop the attack for a while - take a time out in order to come up with a new type of aggression.

During this pause, proceed to the second stage of the exercise. Now imagine that you are a boxer resting between rounds. You need to release the tension very quickly so that the muscles have time to rest. Rest without taking your eyes off the aggressor. And if he risks attacking you again, mobilize immediately.

"Hold your breath"

A great way to prevent an aggressor from driving you crazy is to hold your breath. If you were attacked unexpectedly, you did not have time to react in the right way and you feel that the aggressor has broken through your defense, you are about to break, do the following. Inhale as deeply as possible and hold the breath for a few seconds. Then exhale very slowly, releasing the air literally drop by drop. After this, take a few slow breaths in and out and repeat the breath hold again. After two delays, you will feel inner peace and will be able to use one of the above methods of defense.

Laughter as a weapon

Use laughter as a weapon. In response to the aggressor's attack... laugh. Let it be insincere, let his words contain nothing funny. Laugh! Laugh as if you heard the funniest thing in the world. At the same time, be sure to look your enemy in the eyes! Laugh loudly, deliberately, try to drown out the sound of his voice with laughter. You can say “oh, I can’t” or “well, I made you laugh”, “well, come on”, “you’re an artist”, “that’s what a comedian is!”

Your paradoxical reaction will confuse him. His attack will choke. He will begin to find out what you found so funny in his words. You can answer “if only you could see yourself from the outside” or “take a mirror and you’ll see what’s funny,” but be sure to continue laughing.

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