Family quarrel. Self-importance and family quarrels
Next reason. We only want to take in relationships: love, care, attention. We want to remain a child. We don't know what partnerships- This is a relationship of equals. He only satisfies our needs when we satisfy his needs.
How often do we give in relationships what our partner does not need, for example, we take care of the man, take care of him, how small child, we indicate what to do, we give advice. Naturally, the man doesn’t like this and moves away. And we are upset that he does not give us love and does not care about us. And quarrels arise.
We quarrel because we don’t accept a man for who he is, we want to change him. We don’t know that only by giving a man admiration and gratitude, by accepting him for who he is, we can receive loyalty, care and attention in return. We talk about this in lesson 5 Women's School. You can view the training program and feedback from participants
How to avoid quarrels?
I repeat once again, to avoid a quarrel you do not need to learn to give in and simply make compromises. This will not solve anything, but will only accumulate emotional fatigue from such a relationship, and still, someday it will result in scandal and hysteria.
It is important to understand some points and follow them. And remember that most often quarrels are initiated by women.
Why? Yes, because when an argument begins, a woman understands well that she will lose in an argument with a man. A man will turn on logic and start making arguments, so a woman will turn on her emotions. IN progress is underway everything: anger, swearing, screaming, reproaches, complaints, accusations, demands. The woman herself begins to play not “by the rules.”
You should also know that when a man feels challenged by another person, he perceives him as an enemy and it does not matter who is in front of him - his beloved wife and mother of his children or another man. At this moment, he concentrates only on being right and on proving that he is right. If he doesn't do this, what kind of man is he?
His voice becomes metallic and indifferent, he begins to attack and command. Naturally, this hurts us, we forget what we were arguing about and concentrate on the fact that the man is offending us. A man is designed this way: he saw the enemy, which means he needs to catch up with him and destroy him. And we ourselves very often become this enemy, of course, out of ignorance.
A woman needs to remember that she is a woman. And unlike men, she is structured differently. For a woman, the “Overtired” and “Took too much on herself” mode is a time bomb. You need to learn to ask for help, slow down, wait, and calm down.
Don't push yourself to the point where you feel hysterical. the only way relieve tension.
You don't have to apply “Forbidden tricks” in a relationship with a man:
- provocative phrases like “What a man you are”, “You ruined my whole life”,
- remembering all the grievances,
- ultimatums “If you love me, you will do this for me”
- insults. Insults leave a very unpleasant aftertaste in the soul.
A man gets confused when a woman behaves unbalanced. Often he has to balance it with force. After all, it is in an unconscious state that we dump all this on our partner.
Don't wait for a man to make the first move if you were the initiator. It’s better to be the first to say: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t restrain myself.” Don’t play with pride after a quarrel and don’t delay reconciliation, don’t try to make a man feel guilty by telling him: “How could you treat me like that, do this to me!” He didn’t even think of doing this, it was you who turned him on.
Why does it start? - you ask. Because how normal man, he is looking for logic and truth in your words, but it is not there, since we are waiting for something completely different - of course, Love!
And if you don't get what you want from a man, then you're not giving him what he needs. Therefore, any quarrels and scandals that a woman uses to get what she wants are unproductive.
You need to pay attention to your inner world, what happens in it? Need to study attentive attitude to what you feel and how you feel. Don’t accumulate negativity and don’t wait until it starts pouring out of your ears.
Learn to calm down, rest and stop. We women are very emotional and that is our nature. It is important to learn to manage our emotions, because if we are not aware of what is happening to us, then emotions control our lives.
Learn to express your feelings directly: what you are dissatisfied with and what you are disappointed in without expressing disapproval to the man.
No - Why didn’t you throw out the trash?! a - I'm tired, please throw out the trash.
No - Why didn’t you call?! a - I worry when you don’t call.
To do this, you must learn to listen and understand yourself. And be honest with yourself and your partner.
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Tatiana Dzutseva.
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In many families, conflicts become too common. To achieve harmony in relationships with your loved ones, use effective conspiracies from quarrels and scandals.
When your loved ones quarrel, the atmosphere in the house becomes tense. Constant conflicts and lack of mutual understanding are very common problems in many families. In this case, some people turn to specialists for help. family psychology, but is this method always effective? Our ancestors did not have the opportunity to turn to psychologists and dealt with such difficulties with the help of proven rituals. The site team invites you to use effective conspiracies, which will help harmonize the energy at home and improve relationships between family members.
Energy causes of quarrels and conflicts in the family
Before you begin to carry out rituals against quarrels and scandals, you should understand the reason for their occurrence. If your loved ones constantly come home to bad mood, and an attempt to talk with them ends in conflict, which means there is reason to worry about the energy state of the household. There are several energetic reasons, because of which there is discord in the family.
Bad aura at home. The energy background of your home affects the physical and state of mind your loved ones. Sometimes it is because of a bad aura that quarrels occur between household members. The reasons for the occurrence of negativity can be different: for example, the aura worsens if there is for a long time there was a seriously ill person or a tragedy had previously occurred in your home. To neutralize unhealthy energy, get rid of old things, redecorate, and light incense every night. Create comfort around you, and then the relationship between your family will improve.
Damage or evil eye. Unfortunately, we are not protected from negative influence envious people. Some of them not only cannot be happy for others, but will do everything to disrupt the harmony in someone else's home. If objects unfamiliar to you suddenly began to appear in the house, and your loved ones began to get sick often, it means that your family has become a victim of a negative program. You can remove damage or the evil eye yourself at home.
Energy conflict. The incompatibility of your biofield and the biofield of another person can cause conflict in energy level. To solve it, try to get closer to the person with whom you have quarrels most often. If these are your parents, be more affectionate and frank with them. Try to treat children with understanding, do not scold them over trifles. Show attention and care to other family members. Breaking the energy barrier is not difficult, just be more open towards your loved ones.
Conspiracy against quarrels in the family
Very often, major scandals begin with small quarrels. If disagreements and misunderstandings arise between your loved ones, use conspiracies that will help you correct the situation.
Buy in store white rose with wide petals, then tear them off and hide them away from prying eyes. The moment your loved ones begin to quarrel, open the window and throw petals with the words:
“Wind-wind, I don’t want to disturb you, but I ask: take quarrels out of my house, calm down my loved ones. Don’t blow love and peace out of our home.”
Immediately after pronouncing the conspiracy, the quarrel should stop, and your loved ones should calm down. Say it every time there is a conflict between household members, and soon love and harmony will reign in your home.
Conspiracy against family scandals
Scandals in the family can destroy not only relationships between family members, but also the energy background of your home. To improve relationships with loved ones, use an effective conspiracy.
You need to buy a package of refined sugar. In the morning, immediately after waking up, take one piece and say:
“I wish my family to live in friendship. So that there are fewer scandals in our home, and there is more love and understanding. Taste my sugar, forget about all the grievances.”
Crush the charmed sugar and sprinkle it on other pieces, which must first be placed in a common sugar bowl. Soon your loved ones will begin to quarrel much less often, and over time, scandals in your home will stop altogether.
Some representatives of the zodiac circle simply cannot live without conflicts, and it is advisable to contact them as little as possible. Astrologers have compiled a horoscope that will help determine the most scandalous Zodiac Sign. Let love and peace reign in your home,and don't forget to press the buttons and
Hello, dear readers! You get tired of scandals very quickly. They exhaust, oppress nervous system and have a negative impact on the health of all parties to the conflict.
But if in the family constant scandals what to do? What to do if you begin to get the feeling that you and your family have simply forgotten how to talk without quarreling. This is exactly what we're talking about we'll talk in our article today.
Explicit and hidden needs
When frequent scandals begin in a family, the complaint itself is not always the reason. More often than not, it's just the opposite. People hide the true causes of the conflict and quarrel over things that are not really that important.
For example, the wife’s housekeeping skills: “You don’t meet me from work for dinner,” “You completely forgot about cleaning,” “I went to work again with my pants not ironed.” Even if you “get better” the next day, then happy face You won’t see your spouse, he will still find something to complain about.
This indicates precisely that the claim expressed to you is not significant. A man is concerned about completely different problems, which, for some reason, he does not want to tell you about. One can only guess what the answer to the question is: “Why does he behave this way.”
Such conversations can put him in an awkward position. He will look weak in your eyes. Who would want to consciously take a position that is not advantageous?
You'll have to be patient to find out the real reason, since even frank conversation, most likely it won't work. If you start asking what really worries a man at a moment when he is not ready for a conversation, this will only cause a new wave of indignation: “Do you think I’m just being picky?”
He is unlikely to admit it, but he will gladly accuse you of all mortal sins again: “You also think that my claims are not justified. Great!".
I must warn you that in fact, your spouse may not suspect that the reason really lies in something else and sacredly believe that he sincerely wishes you well and is trying to do better. He moves away from his real experiences, delving into correcting your mistakes. It's also much easier.
Power of Habit
I once had the opportunity to communicate with a couple for whom scandals and quarrels had become a habit. The woman could not sleep peacefully until she expressed all her dissatisfaction with her husband. Every day she came up with new problems, without even noticing this tendency. She didn’t like one thing or another and couldn’t stop, justifying herself by saying that if something worries her, then it’s actually a significant problem that her husband should know about.
This is where the greatest danger of frequent scandals lies. This strategy of behavior quickly becomes an established tradition that both adhere to. One turns into a teacher, and the other becomes an eternal careless student.
If you notice such behavior in your family, then you need to try to cope with the situation as soon as possible. On at this stage It ceases to be important who is right or wrong, who will win in a particular quarrel, the need to end the hostility comes to the fore before one of you gets tired and declares a firm desire to get a divorce.
I can recommend you a book Nancy Dreyfuss "Talk to Me Like Someone You Love". It will help you learn to remain calm when dealing with an aggressor and return him to constructive dialogue. In it you will find 127 stop phrases that will stop any quarrel.
How to Avoid Conflict
First of all, you need. You can't fix another person. It is impossible to win a fight and stop it completely at the same time. One will still be dissatisfied with something. Most likely, he will remain unconvinced, even if you were actually right. Now everything happens on emotions.
Any phrase can only inflame the other person, and you will get involved in a new confrontation. It is unlikely that you will be able to simply avoid a quarrel by doing other things, for example, reading in another room or preparing dinner for tomorrow. If a relative wants, even at this moment, he can find an opportunity to cause a scandal, so just learn to remain silent. At least for a while.
Mentally repeat to yourself that your spouse does not care about what he is talking about now. You are simply wasting time figuring out things that are not important to both of you. He needs to throw out the negativity, and if you help him do this again, the scandals in the family will not stop.
Conversations in a raised voice lead to nothing, they do not help. The most important conversations for two people always take place in a calm atmosphere, almost in a half whisper. Remember this.
That's all for me. See you again and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.
Everyone good day And Have a good mood! The day before, while doing household chores, I turned on the TV and found myself watching some regular TV series. The whole plot revolved around the fact that everyone was quarreling with everyone - children with parents, wives with husbands, best friends And worst enemies communicated exclusively in raised tones and tried to convince each other of the truth of their own point of view. I got tired of this thing quite quickly, I turned off the TV, but I started thinking: why in many families “domestic wars” are routine and almost daily. And what to do if there are constant quarrels in the family?
Our hit parade
I began my research by finding out the reasons. Turns out, married couples quarrel:
How to quarrel?
We all argue and quarrel from time to time, but how we do it determines our future relationships. Of course, in the heat of emotions it can be difficult to maintain self-control and listen to the voice of reason. In order not to make a mistake, we remember for what purpose we are quarreling. Certainly not in order to humiliate, offend and morally crush your partner, right? This is the shortest path to destroying a relationship.
There are several simple rules on how to maintain relationships and a friendly atmosphere in the family:
Continuation:
After a quarrel
And yet the conflict occurred. Perhaps something unnecessary was said in the heat of the moment. And it feels like there is a gap between you. How to make peace? First - internally. We mentally imagine the image of our husband and “clean off” the husks of resentment, anger, and irritation. We are looking for the person under it whom we love and appreciate. And after this, we sincerely, not through clenched teeth, pronounce words of reconciliation, apology and declaration of love. Don't forget about tactile contact– hugs, stroking, kisses.
Video about the parable “Mirror”:
I wish everyone long and peaceful years life together, happiness and health to all loved ones! Subscribe to updates so you don't miss new interesting articles!
First, everyone hears “darlings scold - they’re just having fun,” and then divorce occurs. Where is the moment when people move from love quarrels to serious battles that undermine the family vessel?
How to deal with quarrels in the family and achieve mutual understanding?
Sometimes a husband and wife get so carried away by the actual process of a quarrel that by the end they forget about its reasons. The next morning, the veil falls and a hangover sets in: you shouted at each other all night, blaming everyone on mortals, and the reason for this was milk forgotten in the store or being late for a holiday?
It seems like I don’t want to get a divorce, because in quiet times you really love each other. But spending evenings in a state of cold war is difficult. What to do with family quarrels?
The only ways to avoid major family quarrels are either not to quarrel at all (that is, not even start!), or to give in to someone first, even before early stage madness.
Usually the responsibility for finding a compromise falls on the shoulders of women. This is understandable: women are wiser, it is easier for them to give in without damaging the thin skin of their own dignity.
Moreover, those ladies who manage to lead peaceful coexistence with their brutal other halves do not at all consider themselves weak and weak-willed. This great power- endure, give in, submit, smile... 
So that in the end everything turns out your way, but without quarrels. For this you need mental strength, so look for your own energy source. Communicate with children, be in nature, and be creative.
Men are, whatever one may say, males. They are quick to flare up, protect their pride, hate making excuses and asking for forgiveness. This is their little weakness, and clever woman will never be on this pain point dance. And even more so - nagging the poor fellow over trifles.
Let's figure out why peaceful families so often turn into a nerve-paralytic sawmill. The reason for this is dissatisfaction on both sides.
Yes, yes, a woman may think that she is the only one who is not satisfied, but as soon as a quarrel begins, they crawl out of the dark corners - mutual claims.
It turns out that since childhood he dreamed of becoming a poet, but she ruined his talent. And he forced her to move to the village and abandon her magnificent career. And so on until it is formed snowball, under the avalanche of which both will get stuck.
Quarrels in the family are a good thing as long as they are controlled. If both play by the rules and debate solely around the cause of the disagreement, arguing their position and listening to each other, then such debates will work to the advantage of both.
Expressing your opinion is important! But, you must admit, it is rare that a domestic squabble resembles an intelligent discussion, unless the spouses have three higher education degrees and the status of professors.
What to do with uncontrollable quarrels in the family
1) Find out the reason. Perhaps you have simply entered a time of crisis (for example, you recently gave birth to a child or moved to a new place). You need to wait it out without making sudden movements.
2) Chronic dissatisfaction needs to be treated... with satisfaction. Think about what drives you into nightly scandals. It's never too late to realize your dreams, and you shouldn't blame your present life spouse.
Ultimately, you are responsible for yourself. Look for ways out, talk. Do you want to play sports, do handicrafts or take courses? Search in family budget money for new hobbies.
3) Ladies love little things. And if you just chatted with a friend, and she told you how a distant friend of a colleague from the third floor “missed” her husband, who was running to his mistress during business lunches...
Here everything will unfold in full, and the husband can safely expect interrogation with passion after every dinner. Conclusion: slow down your self-indulgence and listen to your friends less .
4) If the reason is obviously stupid and empty, pass it over in silence. Spend the evening in silence, go to cheerful friends or get distracted by a movie. If you don't start rocking the boat now, the problem will be gone by morning.
5) Tactfulness and delicacy are needed even after ten years of marriage. Give each other freedom, don’t touch personal things, don’t follow, don’t check phones, don’t throw away other people’s old trinkets, don’t shout, respect your partner’s parents, don’t insult each other in public. 
6) Talk. Do not harbor doubts, fears and secret desires. The more understatement there is in a marriage, the more holes there are in it. It's about to come apart at the seams.
7) B earthly love the egoistic principle takes over tender feeling and reason. Sometimes without outside help not enough. Someone is being helped psychologist's advice, for some - a conversation with the priest and prayer. A marriage only becomes indestructible when stable mutual respect arises in it. By respecting your partner, you will never stoop to insults and shouting.
8) Blame the guilty. If your expectations were not met, think about what caused it. Think carefully, and not out of habit! A friend of mine complains once a week: “Life is a nightmare, I haven’t been fishing for five years... Ten years ago, nothing stopped me from sitting with a fishing rod!”
He blames his wife for everything, but she allows him to go fishing. I even gave my husband a new fishing rod and tackle set for his birthday. What prevents him from relaxing with his fishing rod is his intense work, systematically helping his brother build a house, children demanding daddy’s attention in the evenings, love of books and football on TV, and laziness to get up early.
It’s common to blame your neighbor for everything, but if you are honest, you will understand: in order to realize your desires, you need to get up, put aside ordinary things and go towards your goal. We force ourselves into the routine of everyday life and are too lazy to change anything!
