The dissolution of church marriage: causes and procedure. The debunking of church marriage: is it possible or not

We live in a time of global impoverishment of love, faith and patience, when family values ​​are no longer perceived by a modern corrupt person as an absolute and inviolable shrine. Unfortunately, not everything is so smooth in the homes of believers. Recently, we have periodically heard that another couple married in the temple has divorced.

Through the efforts of our author Maria Sarajishvili, we have collected 5 such stories and asked another permanent author of the portal, priest Pavel Gumerov, to comment on them.

Maria Sarajishvili
FIVE SAD STORIES

“All happy families are alike,
every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

L.N. Tolstoy

Instead of a preface

Angela (Moscow): “... Before the second wedding, they simply read some kind of permissive prayer to my mother. And on the same day she married her second husband.

Earlier it was believed that once they got married, then everything, there is no going back

Simple and easy. Twenty years ago, it was believed that getting a church one was the most difficult thing, impossible without special reasons. Few of the parishioners really knew these reasons, and it was believed that once they got married, then that was it, there was no turning back.

And the real reasons for the dissolution of a church marriage were as follows. According to According to the definition of the Local Council of 1917-1918, the reasons for divorce in the Russian Orthodox Church may be:

1. Falling away from Orthodoxy (the right to ask the court for a divorce belongs to the spouse who remains in Orthodoxy).
2. Adultery and unnatural vices.
3. Inability to marital cohabitation (if it began before marriage and is not due to advanced age; the case is initiated no earlier than two years from the date of the marriage; if the inability was the result of intentional bodily harm after the marriage, divorce is allowed).
4. Disease of leprosy or syphilis.
5. Unknown absence (at least three years; two years - if the missing spouse was at war or sailed on a ship).
6. The award of one of the spouses to punishment, combined with the deprivation of all rights of the state.
7. Encroachment on the life and health of a spouse or children (causing severe mutilation, or severe, life-threatening beatings, or harm important to health).
8. Dreaming, pandering and profiting from the indecency of a spouse.
9. The entry of one of the spouses into a new marriage.
10. An incurable severe mental illness that eliminates the possibility of continuing married life.
11. Malicious abandonment of a spouse by another spouse if it makes it impossible to continue married life.

According to the Fundamentals of the Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church, “at present, this list of grounds for divorce is supplemented by such reasons as AIDS, medically evidenced chronic alcoholism or drug addiction, abortion by a wife with her husband’s disagreement” (Article 10.3).

Now life has become faster, and people are much more informed than before. And the situation with divorces has become much simpler.

Before me is a typographical form with the following content: “Such and such (F.I. entered by hand) gives consent to such and such (F.I. in words) to marry a second time.” This is church divorce. Under the short lines there is a place for a signature and a date. The form does not say anything about children and the fulfillment of paternal responsibilities. Then the interested party must take the wedding certificate and this receipt to the Patriarchate. There they will put a seal, the papers will be handed over to the archive, and the union consecrated by God will be considered terminated. A permissive prayer will be read over those who wish to enter into a second marriage. And you can immediately get married a second time.

The Constitution of Georgia recognizes a church wedding, but in the event of a divorce, only those who were officially married have the right to divide property. Children born in a church marriage without official registration receive the mother's surname and have no right to the father's property, unless he himself wishes it.

Apparently, church divorces today have reached such a number that the Patriarchate was forced to prepare the appropriate forms. What can you do, divorce is the spirit of the times.

Every day a video is broadcast on TV with the call: “Fathers, remember your children!” Then there are dry lines of statistics for Georgia: "Every third father does not pay child support, every fifth is wanted." This is only official data, and, as you know, many couples break up before they reach the registry office. Moreover, all this is happening against the background of the fact that, as Archpriest George (Doreuli) says, “today, nine out of ten people will say that they have their confessor, and churches and monasteries do not accommodate believers on holidays” (Karibche Magazine No. 6, 2011 .).

Why there is now a pan-epidemic of divorces in the world, quite a lot has been written. It is more interesting to analyze the divorces of church people, initially armed with the teachings of the Holy Fathers on how to deal with passions and rebellious flesh.

Story one

When 18-year-old Tengo and 32-year-old Eka - neighbors on the landing - began to travel to holy places, their mothers only rejoiced. Together it is not dangerous and spiritually useful. Pilgrims returned home with enthusiastic stories. In Mtskheta we met an old man, in Shiomgvime we met a young monk, and so on… We traveled, of course, taking a blessing from our confessors.

The pilgrims confronted their parents with a fact: “We have just arrived from Svetitskhoveli. They got married there. We'll have a baby soon."

One fine day, the pilgrims confronted their parents with a fact: “We have just arrived from Svetitskhoveli. They got married there. We'll have a baby soon."

It's easy to imagine what started here! Both mothers began to accuse the opposite side of seducing their child.

They shouted, made some noise, then resigned. Eka went to live with Tengo as a legal wife. Soon a boy was born. After forty days, guests began to come with congratulations. Tengo's friends sympathized with him from the bottom of their hearts.

You are gone, brother.

You look at yourself and at her...

And all in the same spirit.

And the difference was really striking. Tall, athletically built Tengo with the face of a movie actor and next to him is a short, fat Eka with the most ordinary appearance.

Water, as you know, wears away stone. Tengo, nervous, left home. He began to temporarily live with a friend. Eka had to return to her room, to the apartment opposite, to her original position. The marriage fell apart...

Tengo has been living in Russia for a long time, he is successfully married and has children. Eka lives in the same building. Collides on the stairs with the former mother-in-law. The son is finishing school. Grandmother helps her grandson. Still, native blood...

Story two

After the wedding, Koba and Tekle, glowing with joy, publicly shared their plans with congratulators.

We want to have a true Christian marriage. We will give birth as much as God will give.

The parishioners nodded approvingly, exchanging remarks about the external resemblance of the newlyweds.

They look good together.

Koba is a serious guy. What life school passed! He will make a good father.

Koba is a refugee from Abkhazia, who managed to take a sip of the war, and, indeed, an enviable groom. He started a business in Tbilisi from scratch, opened a sports section for boys, bought an apartment, and now he decided to get married. And most importantly, an active believer. Every Sunday he brings all his wards to the service, and they, kneeling, chant in chorus “Mamao chveno” ( "Our Father" in Georgian - Note. ed. ), so much so that the glass trembles. Strict with boys, but fair. They listen to him from half a word.

Tekle is a humble woman, you won’t hear an extra word. Like a shadow follows his bearded stern husband.

And the general parish opinion delivered an encouraging verdict.

All of them will be fine.

A year later, they had a boy. Then - the second. Koba every Sunday, hand in hand with his wife, brought the little ones to the Chalice. He also served as needed. A year later, a daughter was born. Outwardly, everything was the same. Only Tekle had a haggard, disconnected look. One servant of God, glancing askance at the family, remarked:

Tekle, apparently, reached the handle. Every year to give birth, what body can withstand? Where are Koba's eyes? You have to give people a rest.

Koba at that moment was scolding in rather harsh terms some boy who casually crossed himself at the entrance to the church.

It must be hard to live with him,” the observer continued. - It is good to command in the army, but the main thing in the family is a compromise.

Another year has passed. Koba had a fourth child. Everything went on as usual. Then suddenly there was a rumor: they dispersed. No one really knew the reason, only speculation. All four children stayed with their father.

This news gave rise to a lot of gossip, the general meaning of which was in one phrase: “And what did she lack?” The question remained unanswered. This was followed by a church divorce in the Patriarchate in accordance with all the rules.

This was about 10 years ago. Koba is still on the altar. His children have grown up. The second time he did not marry. What happened to Tekle is unknown. She never showed up at church again.

Story three

To Kostya, who had just been released from prison, the attitude in the parish was in advance condescending and compassionate: “Who does not happen to?” He was perceived not just as Kostya, but, first of all, as the son of the singer Irina. Sociable, cheerful, despite her lameness, she went to services from Rustavi. If only, as she said, "to sing to the Lord." With all this, Irina was an Orthodox walking encyclopedia. She lived on a pension of 14 lari (it was under Shevardnadze) and alms collected in her mug.

Good news soon spread: Kostya was getting married on Sunday. Irina did not get tired of telling the details to all the empathizers.

The bride's confessor refuses to marry them. He says that Kostya was in prison, but now he is without work and without a home. Let life get better first, then get married

So lucky, so lucky! God sent a believing girl! It must have been our fathers who begged me for consolation. ... They fell in love with each other at first sight. Only here is the problem: her confessor refuses to marry them. He says that Kostya was imprisoned several times, and now he is without work and without a home. Let her life get better first, then get married. And who has it, this job? Such unemployed people are now half of Georgia. In general, not seeing, disliked my son. Forgive him, Lord! Priests also make mistakes. My boy has a heart of gold. He loves her two daughters like his own.

The listeners sighed sympathetically and offered their options.

As a result, they decided to get married with another priest and start a new life in the newlywed's territory.

After the wedding, Kostya and Lena laid a small table for several parishioners - to celebrate a significant day. At first, they went to services together. Then more apart. This didn't surprise anyone either. Lena has a rotating schedule - cleaning "when called." Kostya seems to have settled down to sell icons. Something went wrong with his work. Dropped one, took on another. And in the end it turned out that Lena hung around her neck.

Six months later, they parted and did not appear in the church again.

Story four

Lyudmila (Moscow):

I got married twice. I think that there can be no divorce, and now I have two husbands. And then God will ask for both. I returned to my first husband after 15 years. This did not bring me female happiness. And it is not known what else will end. A wedding is not only a rite, but also a Sacrament. It cannot be removed by someone else's signature. And, like baptism, it is not retroactive. The second wedding is like a second baptism - only an extra cross. So it turns out that I'm a whore.

I struggle with my man-hatred in every possible way. Yes, they are all selfish. The time is now. But we must not insult them even in our thoughts. Otherwise, my son will be insulted by my daughter-in-law. And I don't want that...

Story five

Here is another program from the "Ex-wives Club" series with a story on the same topic.

40-year-old Nugzar, who lived in a monastery for five years, returned to the world. Soon he met 38-year-old Inga. The mutual sympathy that arose between them was so strong that both at the first meeting began to tell each other their past lives. There was a lot in common: the first unsuccessful marriage, disappointment in people and a timid hope for a better future.

Inga Nugzar conquered with his churchness and knowledge of the Holy Fathers. This quality played a decisive role, and after the third date they decided to get married. Inga was not embarrassed that Nugzar did not have his own apartment, that he lived with his aunt with his mother. Material wealth is a matter of gain, the main thing is the person himself. After the wedding, they sold Inga's apartment in Tbilisi and bought a house in the village, which the head of the family immediately took over. Which also did not arouse Inga's suspicions, but how could it be otherwise? Soon scandals, jealousy, Nugzar's drunkenness and, as a result, beatings began. Inga endured, hoping that the birth of the expected child would change everything. Alas, little Barbara only worsened the situation, adding material problems to non-working parents. The situation escalated to the limit, and Inga and her child had to go to a shelter for victims of family troubles and from there to fight for their rights. Nugzar and his mother remained in the won living space, not at all caring about the fate of their own daughter and granddaughter.

And there are many such stories.

And again statistics. Every year, 3,900 children in Georgia are discharged from maternity hospitals with their mother's last name. A law has recently been passed to protect the interests of such children born in unregistered marriages. Now a woman has the right through the court to demand the establishment of paternity, and then the payment of alimony if the DNA test turns out to be positive. The cost of the analysis (2000 GEL) in case of confirmation of paternity must be paid by the accused party. But the law does not cover cases where the father is chronically unemployed and has no real estate. And there are many of them too.

Maybe it's worth giving some kind of trial period to those who want to get married, something like a few months, so that people can decide how serious this relationship is. And in a church divorce, the problems of each married couple should be considered in detail.

COMMENTARY BY PRIEST PAVEL GUMEROV,
temple under construction
in honor of Saints Peter and Fevronia of Murom in Maryino,
author of many books and articles on family life and parenting

All the above facts and stories in the material are very sad and are an illustration of the words of the Savior: “Because of the increase of iniquity, the love of many will grow cold” (Matthew 24:12).

On the topic of divorces in the church environment, I have repeatedly spoken out, including on the pages of the portal, so I apologize in advance if I repeat myself. The author of the article on divorces (as well as all of us, by the way) is very concerned that Orthodox families, which twenty-five years ago were an example of strength and marital harmony, are now also undergoing a considerable crisis. I did not even imagine that in Georgia, a country where there have always been strong family foundations and values, everything is also very unfavorable. Both the Russian Federation and Georgia were once part of a single great country, where, despite an atheistic upbringing, people understood that the family is a great value, it must be created with all responsibility and cherished throughout life. The state also pursued a pro-family policy. Family values ​​were promoted, the family was given support and assistance. Divorce, on the contrary, was condemned. If people did get divorced, it was printed in the newspaper, they could have trouble at work, and, in general, most of society condemned divorce.

It is very difficult for young people whose childhood fell on a period of timelessness to build a family

What happened after, we all know very well. State, family, moral foundations collapsed. Both here and in Georgia. The state was not up to the family. People have ceased to see the highest value in the family. All this was aggravated by complete permissiveness and moral degradation. What was shown on TV, what was sold in stalls, what songs they listened to, what films they watched and shot in the 90s, everyone also remembers. The number of divorces, broken families, homeless children - just rolled over. But the saddest thing is that it is very difficult for young people whose childhood and adolescence fell on a period of timelessness to create and build their own family. Most of them grew up in incomplete families (in complete families, parents also had no time for raising children, it was necessary to simply survive), the children very early tasted the poisonous fruits of debauchery and depravity. They saw very few examples of happy, strong families. Many, in general, have lost faith that family happiness is possible. Many have a delusion that you can live without a family. The rampant fashion was established just then.

Orthodox children and adolescents, of course, have also been affected by this problem. Moreover, they do not live in isolation: everyone has a TV, radio, and the Internet. Therefore, conflicts, family crises and divorces also occur in Orthodox families. But not because Christian family and moral values ​​are outdated and no longer work, but because we have changed. We succumbed to the spirit of the times, we do not want to work on ourselves, we are working on our family life. If the Church simply tightens the measures and makes church divorce a very difficult act, I think it will not work. Christian marriage (both now and in pre-revolutionary times) has two sides: spiritual and civil, legal. One does not exist without the other. Before the revolution, marriages and divorces were handled by the Church. Now - the state. We cannot help but give a man a divorce if his marriage, both de facto and de jure, no longer exists. Yes, there are countries, such as Italy, where it is very difficult to get a church divorce, but it is very difficult to get a secular divorce there. Divorce proceedings there sometimes go on for 5, 10 years.

I believe that for a Christian not to keep an unmarried marriage is the same sin as to terminate a union blessed in the church. After all, now a whole category of Orthodox people has appeared who, having registered a marriage, are in no hurry to get married. They live, as it were, in a trial marriage, they think that if they divorce now, they will commit a lesser sin than if they part after the wedding. And, of course, such half-hearted, insincere relationships do not add strength to their union. All this is complete hypocrisy. After all, when canons and rules about marriage were written, when families were created in pre-revolutionary Russia, they could not be anything other than married ones.

Male infantilism, irresponsibility - an alarming symptom of our time

Now a little about the specific examples given in this material. Of course, based on such brief information it is difficult to draw any conclusions, but you can pay attention to a few points. Some of the guys in the above stories married (or wanted to marry) women much older than themselves. Some did not want to work and feed their families. This is a very bright and characteristic touch. Male infantilism, irresponsibility is a disturbing symptom of our time. A huge number of young people were brought up by single mothers, who often fed them, watered them, pampered them, and solved all their problems for them. Often such a young man then looks for a new "mommy", sometimes older than himself. In his mother's family, he not only did not see a working man, but he himself was often relieved of all labor loads. It is quite natural that this continues in the already new, own family.

Women have lost their shame and dignity, they have become very accessible. And it also destroys the family

Another reason for the fragility of modern, even church marriages, is that future spouses start the creation of a family with a very serious mistake, they commit a big sin when they begin to live a carnal life together even before marriage. Remember, in the first story: Tengo and Eka came from a trip and confronted their parents with the fact that they got married and were expecting a baby soon. That is, as they say, married in pursuit. It will be very difficult for a person who allows himself fornication before marriage to remain faithful to his soul mate. This is a common problem, not just for men. Women have lost their shame and dignity, they have become very accessible. And it also destroys the family and pushes young people into sins before marriage and adultery in family life.

But still, in conclusion, I would like to say that despite the frequent examples of all kinds of family problems and even divorces, including those listed here, the situation in church families is much better than in others. I was often approached by different people and different couples in difficult family situations. So, in the vast majority of cases, these were non-church people, or little church people. Yes, and Orthodox families are overwhelmed by the waves of the sea of ​​life, yes, and they are being sucked in by the spirit of this age. But this does not mean that the modern Orthodox family is no longer different from the non-church family.

For the sake of objectivity, let's turn to statistics. In Russia, more than 50 divorces are registered for every 100 marriages. 80% of husbands, at least sometimes, cheat on their wives, 40% of children are born outside the family, more than 5 thousand mothers every year abandon their children in maternity hospitals, more than 4 million are made annually. Do you think all this is said about Orthodox, church-going people?

I think that we, modern Christians, in spite of any pressure and pernicious influence from outside, need to constantly remember: who we are and what the Lord expects from us. Much has been given to us, but much will be required of us. It is necessary not to succumb to passions, not to justify ourselves by the fact that we live, they say, in a difficult, corrupted time. And at what time, tell me, did the first Christians live, did the martyrs of the first three centuries live? They kept their faith and morality!

The most important thing is not to be lukewarm and lazy, then everything will work out and succeed, with the help of God, to improve your family life and find family happiness.

How to get married in a church? Does such a ritual actually exist? Priest Mikhail Samokhin will answer these questions in this article.

How to dethrone in the church?

One is a wedding, two is a wedding...

Priest Mikhail Samokhin

To be honest, the word "debunking" cuts my ear. And not only because there is some terminological or philological incorrectness in it. Rather, the attitude to the Sacrament of Marriage, which is seen in this word, causes alertness. Converged - dispersed. Married - "married". Everything is simple, everyday, ordinary and fixable. And most importantly - in our hands.

In fact, the breakup of an Orthodox family is a tragedy. Although when people come to the site or personally with the question of “debunking”, they don’t realize the tragedy.

But the Lord conceived the family as a union of two people for the rest of their lives: “I say to you: whoever divorces his wife not for adultery and marries another, he commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." (Matthew 19:9) A simple and clear command.

Strict chastity was not only a barrier against the pagan licentiousness that reigned around the first Christians. It naturally followed from the understanding that marriage is an earthly image of the heavenly union of Christ and the Church. Christ cannot have two Churches, and the Church cannot have anyone but Christ. The relationship between a man and a woman united in a Christian marriage is conceived in the same way. So wrote about the family, for example, St. John Chrysostom.

And now we are investing in the Sacrament just such a higher meaning, perceiving the family as a small Church, whose task is the spiritual salvation of all whom it unites. There is another important feature that unites the Church and the family. It is the power of love that works in them. to each other and to the Lord.

Thus, the Church, as the herald of the Gospel truth, does not know divorce, as ancient or modern people knew it. Divorce is like the return of premarital freedom from each other. But there are cases when people themselves destroyed their marriage. And it is impossible to turn a blind eye to this.

Guided by the words of the Lord, the Church recognized the fact of the breakup of the family in the event of the betrayal of one of the spouses. And so far, the list of reasons why a marriage can be recognized as broken up is small. For accuracy, I will quote an official document - "Fundamentals of the Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church":

“In 1918, the Local Council of the Russian Orthodox Church in the “Determination on the reasons for the termination of the marriage union, consecrated by the Church” recognized as such, in addition to adultery and the entry of one of the parties into a new marriage, also the falling away of a spouse or wife from Orthodoxy, unnatural vices, inability to to marital cohabitation that occurred before marriage or was the result of intentional self-mutilation, illness with leprosy or syphilis, a long unknown absence, condemnation to a punishment combined with the deprivation of all rights of the state, encroachment on the life or health of a spouse or children, daughter-in-law, pandering, benefiting from indecency spouse, incurable severe mental illness and malicious abandonment of one spouse by another. Currently, this list of grounds for dissolution of marriage is supplemented by such reasons as AIDS, medically certified chronic alcoholism or drug addiction, abortion by the wife with the disagreement of the husband.

Mournful list. And I really don’t want any of it to become a reality of the family life of one of the readers. But it may very well be that if you are reading these lines, the topic of church divorce has touched you personally. The family broke up. And now I understand why it is called a tragedy. What to do? Of course, pray. Or about the preservation of the family, or about the fact that the Lord would manage the future life according to His all-good will.

And only when, in answer to prayer, you find someone with whom you want to go through life, when you come to the decision to seal your union with God's blessing, you need to go to the temple. They will tell you how to apply to the ruling bishop of the diocese for the blessing of remarriage.

Note that this decision is so important to the Church that only the bishop can make it. And the right to remarry is given only to those who are not to blame for the collapse of the first family. Isn't it a significant difference? Not "debunking", but remarriage. Not freedom, but again a family, a small church.

It is important. It's crucial. But I, like many fellow priests, consider it inappropriate to overshadow the triumph of marriage with words about divorce. And therefore, it is possible to talk about this only during preparations for the wedding. Maybe in confession. But for some, how the Church understands the sacrament of marriage remains unknown. And the Sacrament itself is a beautiful rite.

Therefore, I really want my joyless reflections to be read, first of all, not by those who ask about “debunking”. And those who joyfully prepare for the Sacrament of marriage. Not because I like to darken someone's joy. But for the newlyweds to realize the importance and responsibility of the upcoming event. And let the little useful information presented here never be useful to anyone!

Have you read the article Debunking. How to get married in a church?“. Read also.

Although a crowned marriage is a much more serious step than the secular formalization of relations, which implies the inviolability of spiritual bonds in heaven and on earth, anything can happen in life. What to do with the oaths given in the church, how to end the relationship correctly, without aggravating the already committed sin? Of course, the church is critical of such situations, but mercy for human nature does not allow it to turn away from the parishioners at a difficult stage in their lives.

The Orthodox Church believes that marriages are made in heaven, so the word "divorce", and even more so "debunking", is out of the question. During the sacrament, a mystery takes place, where the groom personifies Christ, the bride is the Church, and their marriage is a sacred union, imprinted in eternity. How can such an unbreakable bond be destroyed by anyone, people or the state?

But partings happen for one reason or another, which means that something needs to be done about them. Any priest will fight to the last to save the marriage and urge his parishioners to do the same, because divorce is a sin for the Orthodox. But if the restoration of the union is impossible, then it is believed that it is better for a person to look for a new life partner than to live in fornication.

Important! A responsible decision to terminate a married union can only be taken by a high church rank.

To begin with, a couple who wants to get a divorce needs to formalize the divorce officially at the registry office, and then write to the diocesan bishop. In the letter it is necessary to describe the situation in detail, but without too much negativity in relation to the former half, and also attach all the necessary documents. Then it remains only to humbly wait for an answer.


Even if you are the injured party, you still need to attach consent to the divorce of your spouse to your letter, except in cases where this is physically impossible, for example, the person is missing. It is impossible to get married against the will of the second spouse because, according to the church, if a person sins, but still clings to the family, then something else can be fixed.

It should be noted that the procedure is not a debunking in the full sense. The former spouses retain a spiritual connection in the eyes of the church and God, but at the same time the innocent side is given the opportunity to build a new relationship. Naturally, before a divorce, it is necessary to confess, repent and, possibly, endure penance.

The Church believes that in any breakup, both sides are always to blame., but you should understand that if the relationship ended through your fault, then the punishment will be more severe.

Reasons for termination of the union

No two families are the same, no two cases are the same. It's one thing if the wedding happened not because of the deep faith of the spouses, but because of a fashion trend, a desire to please parents and go through a beautiful ritual. Another - if there are objective problems, and being together, people move away from God more than taking on the sin of separation. That's why Each request is considered on an individual basis.. However, there are some points that increase the likelihood of a favorable outcome.


The Church allows divorce in the following cases:

• betrayal of one of the parties: at first, the priest will try to reconcile the spouses, to remind that we all make mistakes, but if this fails, then the chance of terminating the relationship increases many times over;
• the transition of a husband or wife to another faith;
• the wife had an abortion without the consent of her husband and the presence of medical contraindications;
• infertility is a very difficult moment: a strict father will refuse if this is the only reason, because only God can decide how many children there will be in a family;
• diagnosed alcoholism or drug addiction: a certificate from a medical institution is required, just the love of drinking is not a valid reason;
• domestic violence, also documented by law enforcement;
• incurable disease dangerous for future children, for example, AIDS or syphilis;
• diagnosed incurable mental disorder;
• sexual perversions, especially threatening children;
• lengthy imprisonment;
• new civil or official marriage of the former spouse;
• missing for more than 3 years.

Advice! If your reasons are not included in the list above, do not despair - submit a petition with your arguments. The Orthodox Church is merciful and tries to enter into the situation of all its children without exception.

How to terminate?

So, if you have firmly decided that the marriage is over, then first you need to get a divorce in the eyes of the state. Only after receiving a certificate of divorce from the registry office can you write to the diocesan bishop.

Remember that you can apply alone, but you still have to bring permission from your spouse. There are certain templates for writing letters to a bishop, you can use them, you can write on your own, from the heart. You should not describe your reasons too dryly, because the church is not a bureaucratic system, or, on the contrary, too emotionally - feelings can be expressed to your confessor, but not to a high church rank.

If the bishop considered your reasons legitimate, then you will receive a blessing for a new marriage confirming this paper, and you can. But remember that the church does not accept more than three marriages, so think carefully before your next wedding.

Be sure to talk with the confessor, the priest who married you. He will clarify all the controversial points, give the necessary advice, and will also be able to support in difficult times.

Documentation

Take with you to church:

• passports;
• divorce certificate;
• wedding certificate;
• a letter to the bishop;
• any documentary evidence of the specified reasons for divorce - medical certificates, conclusions from law enforcement agencies.

Divorce in other religions

All world religions agree that divorce is a sin, but because of the weakness of human nature, it makes no sense to put an absolute ban on divorce. If attempts to reconcile the spouses and return them to the family were unsuccessful, and an exceptional situation has developed in the family, the clergy will allow you to abandon these oaths.

Important! The procedure will be preceded by a conversation with the confessor, and in the case of the Catholic Church, a whole church court, but in the end, divorced people will still be met.

Is there dethronement in the Catholic Church?

The Catholic Church treats divorces, on the one hand, much more uncompromisingly, and on the other hand, it is softer than the Orthodox. For Catholics, civil divorce and separation are considered normal. In some cases, it won't even be a sin. But debunking, removing oneself from the oaths given before God is completely unacceptable.

After that, the only possibility is to recognize the marriage as invalid, annulled, and such a verdict will be passed not by one clergyman, but by a whole tribunal.


Proceedings to annul a Catholic marriage often drag on for years.

Even with objectively proven guilt of one of the parties, no one guarantees a divorce. The reason for the breakup is most often treason, but other reasons are also possible - impotence, violation of obligations. In the case of domestic violence, mental illness, alcoholism or drug addiction, the Catholic Church may offer treatment for the sick spouse and wait for the other.

In more complex, non-standard situations - reconcile, endure and learn the lesson that life is trying to teach this or that problem.

Can Muslims Divorce?

Despite the prevailing opinion that Islam does not allow any divorces after, especially those initiated by a woman, this is not entirely true.

Allah has a negative attitude towards the collapse of the family, but it is quite possible to get a divorce if necessary. It is enough for a man to say “you are divorced” or “you are free” to start a “buffer period”, during which the couple can change their mind and fix the broken love boat. At the same time, the husband is not at all obliged to explain his decision, although such behavior is highly discouraged and can lead to certain social problems and consequences.


A woman, if she wants to get a divorce, should seek help from the imam. He takes responsibility for protecting her interests in the divorce proceedings. The reason for parting may be the lack of financial security of the husband or any other incompatibility.

Important! The family in Islam is sacred, marriage means the union of two families, and therefore divorces are so rare and they are used only as a last resort.

Useful video

Today, a wedding is a tribute to fashion, and after the dissolution of a marriage, the former spouses have many questions: is there a debunking of a church marriage, how to get married, is it possible to get divorced? Answers to these questions in the video:

Conclusion

Divorce after the wedding is difficult, but possible. Of course, you should be aware in advance that the sacrament will connect you with a certain person for life, so you need to approach the wedding consciously. If a mistake has already been made, then it is the job of the church to help correct it. Good reasons, sincere repentance and a desire to live in the Orthodox tradition will allow you to survive the divorce with minimal losses, and the “purified” former spouses will be able to calmly move towards a new union.

In real life, things don't always work out the way you'd like them to. Families break up and spouses, who until recently loved each other, become strangers. In modern society, it is possible to break the marriage bond, it is not so difficult. But after all, many went through the wedding procedure, and this is a completely different matter. This is a special sacrament and from time immemorial such a marriage has been considered forever, until death. What to do in a difficult situation and is it possible to get married in the church? The issue is so relevant that it requires detailed consideration.

Reasons that will affect the dissolution of a church marriage

The church has always had a negative attitude towards divorce, so getting divorced is much more difficult than just getting a divorce certificate. There must be very good reasons for this step. They were documented at the beginning of the last century. In order to conduct a rite of debunking, it is necessary to prove the following facts:

• infidelity of one of the spouses;
• the adoption of another faith by a husband or wife;
• remarriage in the presence of an existing one;
• sexually transmitted diseases that one of the spouses may suffer from;
• the disappearance of a husband or wife for a long time (missing);
• attempts to harm the lives of family members;
• the imprisonment of one of the spouses;
• inability to reproduce offspring at the physiological level;
• incestuous marriage.

In the year 2000 of our century, the church added to the existing reasons the following:

• the addiction of one of the spouses to drugs, alcoholic beverages, AIDS (it is necessary that all facts have medical confirmation);
• an abortion that a wife had without her husband's consent.

You can, of course, point out other claims, but they will not be strong enough for the priest to take upon himself the right to debunk the union. Despite the negative attitude of the church towards divorces, priests periodically allow their adherents to re-marry.

If the reasons mentioned above are present, it is possible to get married after a divorce even without the consent of the husband or wife. In all other circumstances, each specific case is considered individually. It is likely to be refused if the priests consider insufficient grounds.

What is the procedure to be followed

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After the married husband and wife have officially divorced, it is necessary to contact the church and go through the procedure for dissolving the already church marriage. The Russian Orthodox Church has determined the established procedure for dethronement, which can be completed within 2-3 weeks.

First of all, in order to get married, you need to visit the parish where the wedding took place, you need to try to communicate with the priest who performed the sacrament. If this is not possible, they turn to the church, which is located in the immediate vicinity. The rector communicates with the husband and wife, who conducts a private conversation, finds out the reasons for making such a decision and talks about the consequences.

Further, the initiators of the procedure write a petition addressed to the Administrator of the Diocese. The document must indicate the date of the wedding and the place where the spouses got married, tell the full story of family life. After that, you need to name the reasons that served as the basis for the debunking. Everything must be confirmed by official documents and legally certified certificates. In addition, the rector attaches his report to the petition, in which he sets out his personal attitude to the case.

The list of required documents attached to the application includes the following:

• a certificate of divorce issued by the registry office;
• if one of the spouses lives in a new marriage, you need a certificate of his conclusion;
• wedding certificate;
• the consent of the second spouse to the debunking, signed by him personally and legally certified;
• documents confirming the reasons that the spouses want to dissolve the church marriage.

Please note that only copies of documents need to be submitted. The originals must always be in the hands of the applicant.

Is it possible to hold a wedding ceremony after a divorce

The Orthodox Church provides for a second wedding without any censure in only one case - the death of one of the spouses. In all other situations, the priests have a negative attitude towards such a question as to be dethroned in the church.

A second wedding can be scheduled only after the marriage between husband and wife is registered in the registry office. The spouses submit a petition to the regional Diocese, since an ordinary priest does not have the right to conduct a second ceremony without the permission of the bishop.

But even in this case, the Diocese will only give a blessing for the second sacrament of the wedding. The clergy do not issue any document to confirm the right to dissolve a church marriage.

The repeated wedding ceremony differs from the original one when both spouses get married a second time. According to church rules, crowns are not put on the newlyweds and the ceremony takes place in the “second rank”. You can only get married in a church three times, no more. But for the third time, only a widowed husband or wife is married, in the presence of small children who have not reached the age of majority.

Looking at the root of the problem, the process of divorce is completely different from the legal dissolution of a marriage. And if the latter passes quickly and without the intervention of third parties, then a church divorce is much more difficult. His main goal is to achieve a blessing for a second wedding due to the recognition of the first as a graceless event. Priests take into account the degree of guilt of the husband or wife, and allow re-marriage only to the spouse who is innocent of the break.

Sometimes, divorcing couples simply forget that after an official divorce, it is necessary to carry out a divorce procedure. But for those whose faith is true, this problem is paramount. You can avoid unpleasant moments in your life, such as debunking, only with a conscious approach to the ceremony. In fact, not all young couples who get married in a church are mentally prepared for this. It is necessary to realize the essence of the sacrament and think, but is it forever?

Making the decision to get divorced after a divorce from a husband or wife is an individual and personal matter. However, it should be remembered that after this procedure, there will be no way back.

Attention! Due to recent changes in legislation, the legal information in this article may be out of date! Our lawyer can advise you free of charge - write a question in the form below: