How to raise children without punishment. How to raise children happy and unleash their intellectual and creative potential? The result is guaranteed

Natalia Kaptsova — practitioner of integral neuroprogramming, expert psychologist

Reading time: 7 minutes

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Many parents doubt the correctness of raising their child. The main doubt, of course, always concerns the use of punishments. The conversation is not at all about a belt and spanking, but about punishments in general - such as a corner, deprivation of a computer or personal money.

How does punishment work?

We are confident that we know what is best for our child. This point of view persists throughout life. But, deciding for the baby, we crush his independence, turning a person into a mattress.

Need to be sure to listen to the wishes of the child!

Example. Mom dressed her daughter for a walk in a bright, beautiful dress, and she wanted to play in the sandbox. Mom forbids - because the dress will get dirty. But clothes are not important for my daughter, sand is important to her. The girl does not care what to walk in, the main thing is to have fun. Conclusion: Mom turned the walk into torture for both. And in the end, the daughter will be punished for being bored and wanting to play.

What is punishment?

This - additional motivator , which restricts the child in some action. But the child should be afraid not of punishment, but of the natural consequences of his actions. Punishing, we teach him to avoid reprisals, to lie, to dodge. Natural consequences are inevitable. Better to focus on them. I didn’t remove the toys - I didn’t find my favorite soldier. Here it is, the punishment!

Children who grow up without punishment are known to be less aggressive. After all, rudeness is revenge for pain. Punishment breeds bitter resentment that stifles everything, including common sense. .

That is, the child has nowhere to put this negativity, and it burns from the inside. Therefore, children often break down on younger brothers, sisters and pets.

How to raise a child without screaming and punishment ...

Punishment: what is it and what is it eaten with?

Punishment is a kind of additional motivator that should keep the child from committing some action, while the baby should not be afraid of him at all, but of the consequences of his actions.

If you are about to punish your child, think about whether you understand the reasons that prompted him to do so. Are you not mistaken, intending to punish the baby? Remember that if you have not banned something, then it is allowed. In addition, if the child committed a misdemeanor for the first time, then it should be explained to him that this is bad, because perhaps he simply did not know this. Warn your child about the possible consequences of his misbehavior. In addition, you should not criticize the child, but his actions. If you are ready to break into a scream, it is better to start talking in a whisper. Before punishment, look in the mirror. Very often, the reasons for the bad behavior of children lie in the parents themselves. If the kid misbehaves, most likely, he takes an example from you.

An example - the baby scattered toys all over the room, and now for the third hour he has been looking for his favorite bear. Here it is - punishment without shouting and reproach. How to properly raise a baby? Let him learn from his own experience, even if it's negative.

Educate without punishing? A child who has been brought up without punishment will not become selfish as a result. Selfishness is not a trait that can be brought up with a reasonable approach. Who are the egoists? For the most part, they are unloved children who, as adults, are trying to make up for what they have missed. Education without the use of punishment is a great hard and daily work of both parents. First of all, it is work on yourself. Why? Because no matter how we behave and no matter how we act, children will still be like us - parents. How to raise a child without screaming and punishment? Tips and Tricks Too many parents question whether they are raising their child properly. One of the main doubts is whether it is necessary to punish the baby? Answer: not always. The following are the principles of parenting without punishment, whining and screaming.

The parent who voluntarily chose the option of upbringing without punishment will face many difficulties and difficulties. The main thing is to remember that the absence of a punitive factor coming from parents does not mean permissiveness at all. This parenting option does not mean that the baby will not have any rules and norms of behavior.

Patience

Those parents who decide to raise children without punishment and shouting have to go a long way full of obstacles. Patience - this is what they should first show in relation to their child. This path promises many problems for moms and dads, however, if all conditions are met, the child will grow into a self-sufficient and, most importantly, a happy person.

Love for children

How to raise a child without screaming and punishment? First of all, love him. Children should be loved not for what they give us, for example, a sense of pride, confidence, but just like that - for what you have. Undoubtedly, punishing a baby is much easier than sitting and figuring out why he misbehaves. However, this is the main egoism of parents and other relatives. In an effort to make life easier for themselves, they infringe on their child, and although he is small, he is still a person. Acceptance of a child One of the most difficult parenting tasks is to accept a child for who he is, including his whims, problems and other troubles. Education without screaming and tantrums, first of all, is to ensure that the baby always feels that mom and dad appreciate and love him.

Attention

Enough attention given to the child is one of the main secrets of how to raise children without punishment. In most cases, it is the lack of parental attention that is the main cause of child disobedience. Recognition of the child as a person A child from a very young age, when he can neither walk nor speak, is already able to choose a toy or clothes for himself. The child already has his own feelings, and joys, and sufferings. How to raise a child without crying? In no case do not neglect the baby and do not show disrespect for him. Because it destroys the child's individuality.

Education by personal example

If you teach your child not to litter on the street, please don't do it yourself. Are you forbidding your child to tell lies? Don't lie yourself. And do not even embellish and do not be silent. The rules offered to the child must be observed by the whole family. Education without screaming and tantrums is based on the need of the baby to behave like an adult. “Mirrorizing” parental actions, manners and behavior is a programmed subconscious process.

Don't pressure the child

Remember the simple rule of how to raise a child without any punishment: the more you put pressure on the baby, the more he will resist. If you constantly tell your child: don't do it, don't touch it, put the toys away, do it, don't go there - a tense atmosphere is created in the house. Of course, the baby will develop a desire to escape or somehow fence off. This he will do, throwing tantrums to his parents, being capricious and protesting.

For every power there is a much greater power? If you are wondering how to raise a child without a scream, a belt, then you understand that as soon as the baby grows up, your financial and power authority will disappear. It was then that the understanding will come that punishment is the grossest mistake of upbringing, but it will be too late.

Consistency - the main assistant

Often the cause of the whims of the baby is precisely the unstable behavior of the mother. Today she demands one thing, tomorrow another, the day after tomorrow a third. And how to understand it? In addition, at home, she allows certain actions, but in public, on the contrary, she prohibits. Naturally, the child first tries to adapt to changing requirements, although he does not see an integral system, then he gets confused, falls into confusion, and is afraid. Of course, conflict becomes inevitable. Also, imagine the state of the child if, on top of everything else, there is a difference between the requirements of mom and dad!

Consistency is one of the main secrets in how to raise a child without shouting and punishment. Let the child know: everything that you promised - you will fulfill. If you said that this month do not buy him a toy - do not buy. If you promised not to give sweets before dinner, don't give them. Otherwise, the kid will learn the rule: if it’s impossible today, but tomorrow it’s possible, then it’s always possible. In addition, in order for the child to be able to realize what is required of him, the reaction of the mother must be the same at least five times. Only then will the baby understand what he should do and what is forbidden.

promotion

Another secret of how to raise children without punishment. The kid will quickly forget about the punishment that threatens him for a prank, while they remember about presents for good behavior for a long time. The parent must develop Everyone knows that children are lovers of complex and unusual issues. In order for the baby not to take you by surprise with his question, you must constantly learn something new and develop intellectually.

Do not succumb to provocations

Often, in order to achieve what he wants, the baby begins to scream and roll up scandals. Be indifferent to such behavior. How to raise a child without screaming and punishment? How to learn this skill? When you study books about the proper upbringing of children, you are completely sure that you will never, under any circumstances, yell at your baby. Yes, and how is it possible? And to punish - and at all the guard! After all, every mother of the new generation knows that Spock's theory is nothing more than violence against the child's personality, which at least needs to be respected.

So, what do parents need to know about how to raise a child without crying?

One of the ways of self-expression is pranks and whims

When a baby lacks freedom, he begins to spoil the mood of his parents in every possible way: he will scream, then he will smear the cat with chocolate butter, then he will paint the wallpaper. Often, whims in a child appear during periods of crisis, for example, there is a crisis of three years and a transitional period. There are four of them: the crisis of the first year of life, three years, which happens in the interval from two to four years; seven years and adolescence. Therefore, if you see that the child's behavior has changed a lot, pay attention to whether he is in one of the above age categories. After all, if so, then these are not whims at all, but the next stage of development. Every year it is necessary to give the baby more free space and time, and not add him responsibilities around the house. Because freedom is, first of all, independent decision-making.

natural consequences

As we have already found out, the natural consequences of pranks and deeds are the best punishment. Allow them. Find a way out together Try to feel the way out of this situation together with your child. For example, if he took someone else's thing, talk to him that the owner will probably be upset if he does not find the missing thing. Maybe this thing is very dear to him. We need to return it immediately! Ask the interest Parents need to make sure that the right behavior arouses interest in the child, instead of obsessing the child with the possible bad consequences of his actions. How to understand it? The parent does not tell the child that if he touches the flower, he will stand in the corner, but says: "Sit here and drive the car, I will come soon."

What to do with small children? A small child is one who is not yet able to realize either the wrongness of his actions or their consequences. Naturally, it is useless to explain it to him. What should be done? Remove the baby from the dangerous environment physically and create a safe environment for him. For example, if a child climbs to a stray dog, then you can distract him with a toy or take him to another yard.

Talk to your child

Don't forget to communicate with your baby. Explain to him what is good and what is bad. You can simulate the situation on the example of dolls or solve the problem in the game. In addition, children are extremely intelligent creatures, and very often you can learn everything from them directly. Just ask the child in the midst of a tantrum why he behaves this way, what he achieves with his bad behavior. Perhaps the baby will answer all your questions.

Be reasonable in your prohibitions

There is no need to impose prohibitions on the actions of the baby that he needs to perform. It is physically impossible for him to sit quietly and calmly for about forty minutes in line with a doctor. Children need to play, run and jump, because this is their nature. But the desire to have a “comfortable” baby is a selfish whim of parents.

fairy tale therapy is one of the methods that allows not to punish the child for what he has done, but to try to understand the reasons for such behavior. Come up with a fairy tale whose main character will be like your baby. Bring the development of the conflict to a climax, and then tell, using the example of this hero, how to behave, how to ask for help, how to apologize. Another variant of the same method: in the process of developing the action, ask what opinion your baby has about why, for example, Vasya is rude to adults, offends his mother and spits. The child will most likely tell you about the reasons for his own misbehavior. If you listen to his answers, you will be able to understand everything.

All parents dream of raising children without shouting and punishment. Attempts are not always successful, a lot of difficulties lie in wait for moms and dads who have chosen this method of education. Children regard freedom of action as permissiveness, and attention to the needs of the baby often turns into overprotection.

Why is movement in the right direction often met with obstacles? Parents often do not know the rules, without which it is difficult to raise boys and girls, taking into account the interests of a small person. For you - useful tips, an algorithm that will make it easier to achieve results without screaming, spanking and intimidation "boom".

What is punishment

Parents punish toddlers and older children in order to achieve their goals, to show that it is impossible to do this for a certain reason. Psychologists believe that punishment is an additional motivator that limits children in their actions.

Fear of censure, the desire to avoid punishment provokes lies, there are attempts to contrive, soften the condemnation of adults. It is important to understand that the baby should not be afraid of the very fact of punishment, which he perceives as reprisal, humiliation, but the consequences of his actions.

• my mother will be upset because of my actions - the right motive;
• mom will scold (shout, hit) - the wrong motive.

How to explain that the child is doing wrong

• do not ask why the baby littered in the children's corner. Give a bucket, a rag, let him collect the garbage, wipe the floor. Help, prompt, but do not do all the work;
• you can’t scare with a punishment that will come later (or you will forget about it altogether);
• say that you are upset because of a bad deed;
• explain in a stern voice that this is not done in your family;
• limit sweets, communication with a computer, skip watching cartoons together, going to the cinema. More options: refuse to visit because of his misconduct, say that he has not yet earned the promised gift;
• put the child on a chair or chair, let him sit quietly for 5-10 minutes. You can not laugh, succumb to whims, simulated tears. By all appearances, show that you are upset;
• you can’t humiliate children, tell that you will disgrace him in front of relatives / neighbors / classmates / guys in the yard for his misconduct. Low self-esteem, a traumatized psyche, anger, stubbornness, resentment towards parents - this is not a complete list of the consequences of the wrong actions of "unfortunate educators";
• you can’t spank, beat, intimidate with a belt: the baby will be afraid of physical punishment, but will not understand why he is scolded;
• do not put in a corner, give up screaming, intimidation by "bad uncle", "babai", monsters. Never tell a little prankster that you will leave him / fall out of love / give him to your uncle or an angry dog. A daughter or son may be frightened, get psychologically traumatized. “They don’t love me, nobody needs me,” what could be worse for a baby.

When you can not punish and scold children

Psychologists identify 5 situations in which an appeal to conscience, punishment will only worsen the situation:

• after suffering psychological / physical trauma, nervous shocks. Cases of child suicide due to the "deuce" at school, fear of punishment, unfortunately, are not isolated;
• during illness, when inadequate behavior, whims appear due to poor health;
• if you are annoyed, trying to make your son or daughter to blame for your failures and problems;
• while helping around the house, when performing complex tasks. Punishment at such an important moment will reduce the desire for independence, discourage participation in household chores, putting things in order (I’ll do it wrong anyway);
• doubting their rightness. If you don't know what to do, think, analyze the situation, do not punish the child because "others do it." In a difficult situation, consult an experienced psychologist.

Note! Children feel who loves them as they are, who sincerely rejoices in success, empathizes with failures. Remember: a belt and shouting are poor helpers for educating a person with a high level of self-esteem and responsibility.

Basic principles of education without pressure on the psyche

Basic principles of raising a happy child:

• sequencing;
• patience, perseverance, desire to teach;
• sincere interest in the affairs of a little man / preschooler / teenager;
• upbringing by personal example;
• recognition of personality at any age;
• respect for the thoughts and feelings of children;
• you can’t cut, remind a hundred times so that the baby does something. Such actions provoke tantrums, whims, active resistance;
• reward for completed assignments;
• you can not succumb to provocations, rudeness, tantrums;
• do not respond to the emotional outbursts of the little capricious, let him calm down, then talk;
• give up physical, psychological violence against children, but do not let them humiliate, beat you and your loved ones;
• for parents, self-education, continuous development, reading books on psychology, articles in popular science magazines are important;
• in difficult situations, seek advice from a psychologist, follow the recommendations of a specialist.

Do not create situations that provoke conflicts out of the blue. The simplest, but, unfortunately, the most common example.

Know the situation:

• mother and daughter came to play in the sandbox. Instead of a simple, comfortable jumpsuit, the girl is wearing an elegant dress and cute shoes;
• why did the mother dress the baby like that? So that the girl enthusiastically sculpted pastels or watched from the side how other children play? It is not clear, not thought out, but there is already a reason for a conflict of interest;
• consequences of a mistake: constant shouting: “Don’t go”, “You will get dirty”, whims in response. In addition, there is a desire of the baby to play, a misunderstanding why they came here, since you can’t mess around in the sand, screams, nerves, a spoiled mood;
• conclusion: in the sandbox, for active games on the street, wear clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty, easy to wash. The conflict simply will not arise, because there is no far-fetched reason.

Harmonious development of the girl

A modern woman is not only a mother and wife. Often, professional realization pleases the fair sex no less than well-being in the family.

For the harmonious development of a girl, parents must follow several rules:

• pay attention to the upbringing of traditional female qualities (kindness, caring, compassion, tenderness);
• Together with your child, choose a cute pet: caring for a small animal teaches gentleness, understanding the needs of a defenseless creature, patience, responsibility;
• develop intelligence, encourage the desire for leadership, sociability, an active life position, increase self-esteem;
• respect the girl, but do not create a "cult of a small personality in the family." Encourage success, emphasize the importance of the child, but do not say that he is "the center of the universe, and the rest are small fry." A selfish, capricious "little princess" who is used to getting the best and everyone's attention, difficulties await in the future. It is easier for a "punching" girl to find her place in society, to make a career, but it is difficult to earn the love, respect of others, it is problematic to create a happy family;
• pay attention to hygiene issues, encourage the girl's desire for beauty, taking care of her body. A dance or sports section is a great outlet for physical and emotional development. You can not turn a blind eye to defects that can be corrected in childhood: excessive fullness, clubfoot, ugly gait, stoop. A confident, physically developed girl will always feel confident in any environment.

Rules for raising a boy

Why are there so many lazy, irresponsible “burners” in society? Why are real men worth their weight in gold?

Causes:

• incorrect guidelines for raising a child;
• unwillingness of the father to pay attention to the growing son;
• an example of parents who often do not keep their promises, leading a “wrong” lifestyle;
• excessive care of the mother, especially in an incomplete family;
• the desire to avoid conflicts at any cost with a misunderstanding of the principle of "education without punishment";
• ignorance / misunderstanding by parents of a simple truth: with hyperprotection, an infantile child is unlikely to become a real man;
• in an incomplete family, the mother often instills in her son a love for purely female hobbies and activities, reduces the social circle to her own society. The mother limits contacts with peers who do not match the level of her precious child (after all, they will have a bad effect on her son);
• indulgence of any interests and requests, excessive softness where it is necessary to show strictness, to observe principles.

Focus on the following qualities, the development of which brings up a real man from a boy:

• responsibility for their words and deeds;
• caring for loved ones;
• respect for the weak, for women;
• protection of honor, preservation of a good name;
• spiritual and physical development;
• the ability to defend one's opinion.

Encourage:

• development of intellectual abilities;
• passion in a certain area, useful hobbies;
• desire for knowledge, knowledge of the world;
• desire to move forward;
• good habits, the desire for order, body care.

Love for a child, a sincere interest in his affairs, thoughts, feelings will help to bring up a good person. Do not punish in vain, learn to restrain negative emotions.

Remember: persuasion, personal example is always more effective than shouting, rudeness, physical impact. Be consistent, devote enough time to raising children, then you and others will be comfortable communicating with a small person.

More details on how to properly raise children without punishment in the following video:

Hello dear readers!

The goal of many parents of our time is to raise a child without screaming and punishment. Is this possible, and will such upbringing harm the child? How to behave with children so that they obey? Let's reason together.

It is difficult to imagine future parents who dream of yelling at the baby, spanking him and punishing him. On the contrary, the vast majority of them, before the birth of children, are sincerely convinced that they will be calm and reasonable mothers and fathers, they will always be able to reassure, explain and negotiate with their precious child. But the children grow up, and at some time a turning point comes - the crumbs begin to have tantrums and whims, he does not obey, becomes stubborn and ignores our requests. And we, desperate to find a constructive solution, break into screams, threats and punishments. Justifying that "there is no other way", and "everyone is punished, without this the children will sit on their heads." Common situation?

Why do we yell at children?

Of course, screams, threats and punishments do not just happen. And the same behavior of a child can cause completely different reactions in different mothers. What affects our inner and outer peace? First of all:

1. Mom's perfectionism. Often we are so striving for an unattainable ideal in raising a child that any of his “blunders” begins to annoy us.
2. High expectations. Parents often sin by placing a lot of their own ambitions on the baby. And as a result, any actions of the crumbs cause rejection from mom and dad. Although, in fact, the baby is simply not the way his parents wanted him to be.
3. Unresolved childhood trauma. A very "fashionable" topic in psychology today. If the parents themselves are still wounded children at heart, it is difficult for them to accept the whims and disobedience of their own children.
4. The transfer of behavior patterns from the parental family. If new moms and dads have been brought up with belts and yells, corners and spanks, they are likely to automatically pick up the same habits in their own families.
5. Lack of knowledge about constructive behavior. But often parents simply do not know how it is possible otherwise, without shouting and slapping? And is it even possible?

Note that all these reasons are not connected with the child as such, but with the parents and their perception of the world. And that means that if moms and dads understand themselves a little and learn the principles of positive parenting, they will be able to cope with even the most “difficult” children. So shall we try?

How to raise children without punishment?

A lot of books have been written about raising kids without screaming and spanking, there are a huge number of educational videos and trainings. So, for example, we can recommend a good course by psychologist Lyudmila Sharova “Obedience without screaming and threats” for studying (part of it can be listened to in this webinar “Mom, don’t scream“). Thanks to important information, you will be able to break the vicious circle of breakdowns and screams at the child and feelings of guilt, and build a harmonious and trusting relationship with him.

And now let's deduce the basic rules of upbringing without violence together with you.

1. If possible, clearly and clearly explain to the child exactly what he is doing wrong. Naturally, it is worth speaking in accordance with the age of the baby, and the “speech” addressed to a one-year-old will differ from that prepared for a seven-year-old child. In any case, avoid lengthy lectures and moralizing - they don't work at all! Just remember yourself, do you like this manner of communication? I think the answer is obvious.
2. Teach by example. When forbidding a child to do something, stick to this rule yourself. After all, the baby will still imitate mom and dad on a subconscious level. And let the rules be the same for the whole family.
3. If the baby is hysterical, trying to "spin" you on something you want, do not succumb to provocation, but do not punish. Try to distract him whenever possible, switch his attention to something more constructive.
4. Try to give your child enough attention. Believe me, in most cases, whims and disobedience are the result of a lack of attention. If mom and dad spend time together with the baby, play with him, communicate, participate in his life, the baby will most often be calm.
5. Be consistent in following rules and setting boundaries. If something is impossible, it means that it is never possible, and not only in the mood of the mother.
6. Recognize the baby's personality. Even absolutely crumbs already have the right to choose, albeit in small things. Do not constantly suppress the will of the little one. Everything must be in harmony.
7. Reward good behavior. Praise the child when he behaves correctly and "as it should be." After all, the positive always has a better effect on a person than the negative, right? Do not forget about praise and even small rewards for the little one. And he'll be glad to be good again.
8. If you are unsure whether punishment is needed, select no punishment. No comments.
9. Accept your child the way they are.. A child can be with a different character and temperament, sometimes not like your own. But your task is to love him like that, without conditions and claims.

Cases in which you should never punish and scold a baby

But there are situations when swearing and punishment are categorically unacceptable. This:

• Physical malaise of the child, the period of illness and recovery;
• Immediately after some shocks - a bad grade, a quarrel with a friend. Wait for the emotions to subside;
• While helping around the house. Even if the child does something wrong, remember that you will only push the child away with negativity, and he will never want to do something at your request again;
• If the negative emotions of the crumbs are not associated with his behavior.

Friends, if you liked our tips, please share them with your friends by clicking on the buttons of social networks. And be sure to subscribe to the blog update - it's always interesting here!

Often parents, implementing automatic parenting(i.e., not meaningful), feel guilty for the fact that they often scream and punish the child for how much in vain. And to a greater extent, it is because of guilt, and not because of the desire to learn how to properly raise children, parents want to know - how to raise a child without screaming and punishment…

How to raise a child without screaming and punishment and what is automatic parenting

Right raise a child without screaming and punishment- Science is complex. Therefore, many parents automatically educate their children. By type, I know how, and I educate. They unconsciously apply methods not of education, but of manipulation and influence on the child, including using screams and punishments, while there are very few rewards.

In fact, such “education” turns into training (like you have to obey your mother, that is, obey the commands: “Get up!”, “Sleep!”, “Next!”, “Walk!”, “Come to me!”, "Brush your teeth!", "Do your homework!", "Wash the dishes!", "Take out the trash!", "No! (Fu!)", etc. etc.). Sometimes, but rarely - "Well done! Go scratch behind your ear” or “For candy! "Deserved!"...

Such parents do not know or forget that the child is also a person, and constant orders and prohibitions, at the same time with a small number of permissions, include the child's unconscious psychological defense, defense of the underestimated I-position. Outwardly, it will seem to you that the child does everything out of spite ...

Then, some time later, having cooled down a little from anger, and having “digested” your screams and punishments against the child, you will automatically feel pity for him (illusoryly thinking that this is parental love) and guilt ... the very feeling of guilt that makes you many ask the question: How to raise a child without screaming and punishment…

The problem is that even if you write here a complete instruction on the proper upbringing of children without screaming and punishment - and I think there are a lot of them on the Internet - the “parent-trainer” still will not become a parent-educator.
He will learn something, remember it, but he will not apply it much, because. a person lives most of his life automatically ... according to his life scenario, written down in his head during his upbringing.

Therefore, the parent will also continue to raise his child automatically, if there were screams, he will start screaming again ... if there were punishments, he will begin to punish again ... (of course, some abstinence after reading the instructions for education is not ruled out).

raise children means to write a certain program into their head, almost like into a computer (the brain is the same computer). The same can be said about animal training, with the only difference that a person is a rational being, and must be aware of what he does, what he feels and how he thinks.

The current parents, who are trying to raise their child without screaming and punishment, were also once brought up, i.e. their parents programmed. And in order for them to start raising a child correctly, it is not enough to read the relevant literature. You need to re-educate (reprogram) something in yourself.
For example, to love yourself and your children ... not to make a “victim” out of them, i.e. do not feel sorry for them and yourself, but love ... do not order or forbid yourself and children, but allow ... do not punish yourself and children, but encourage ...

Then they will be able to bring up children also automatically, ie. without constantly thinking about instructions, and at the same time they will raise a child without screaming and punishment. It is to educate, not to train.