Why do we need wedding psychology? Do you need to have a wedding? Moving to a new level of relationship

here it is....
correct formulation of the question.
almost on topic:

Part I
IT'S TIME TO GET MARRIED!

Vasya loved girls. Almost everyone. Because there was something good in almost everyone. But, unfortunately, each of them lacked something to become the one and only for Vasya. The kind and sympathetic were not beautiful enough, the beautiful were not smart enough, the smart were not kind enough...
And Vasya graduated from military school in six months. And he was blessed with many years of service in distant Zadripinsk. This is where Vasya’s mother became more active:
- Son, do you have a girlfriend?
- No... That is, there is no one, but there are acquaintances.
- You should get married!
- For what?
- Well, how are you going to serve alone? It’s boring in Zadripinsk - no girls, no entertainment... You’ll drink vodka with bachelors. Eat whatever you like. And if you get married, you will have a family and an interest in life. The wife will look after him and feed him delicious food. Give birth to a baby. You still need to get married! Think about it, while there is someone to choose a bride from.
Vasya thought. Necessary? To whom? Mom? Well, at least it’s a joy for mom. Or maybe she's right...
The one and only never appeared. Vasya decided to try his luck in the second class. But the second class unanimously refused to go with Vasya to Zadripinsk. I had to look for my wife in the third. Natasha agreed. The third grade is not a waste, but it will do for marriage.
Family life in Zadripinsk became a burdensome responsibility for Vasya. Vasya was tired of constantly performing duties around the clock: at work - official, at home - marital... And Vasya began to run from his wife, who was completely unnecessary to him, to the bachelor's hostel to drink vodka. And the wife, as a sign of protest, stopped caring for Vasya and feeding him tasty food. Vasya feels bad. Mom is happy.

Part II
WE NEED TO GET MARRIED!

Rita always had gentlemen. Only the one and only one – I haven’t met. And the existing ones behaved somehow strangely: they tried with all their might to get Rita to hint at marriage, and when she hinted, everyone began to break down like a beautiful maiden, demanding that Rita perform a feat in order to receive his, incomparable, hand and heart. The world has turned upside down, or what?
After a couple of similar experiments, Rita stopped encouraging these performances. The gentlemen were offended that Rita did not pursue them, and proudly walked away, waiting for her to show up in repentance. Rita did not push, new gentlemen appeared and the situation repeated itself with enviable consistency.
The next visit to visit my mother ended traditionally - with a visit from my mother.
- Rita, it’s time for you to think about marriage.
- For what?
- Like this? To have a family like everyone else.
- Why do I need a family now?
- So that there are children.
- Why do I need children now?
- Because all your peers already have it.
- Why should I?
- I want grandchildren.
- Why do you need grandchildren?
- It’s already uncomfortable in front of people. Aunt Klava constantly asks: “When will Ritochka get married?” Aunt Luda is interested. Alexandra Ivanovna also asked yesterday. All of their daughters are married, but they are younger than you. Is my daughter really the worst?
Rita did not consider herself bad. On the contrary – very good. And she loved her mother. Therefore, not having met that one and only, I chose the least awkward Shurik from the available contingent. And she got married. Mother gave birth to a grandson. Although, the mother’s interest in this grandson was purely theoretical. But my mother joyfully informed Aunt Klava, Aunt Lyuda, Alexandra Ivanovna and a whole bunch of other relatives, colleagues, friends and acquaintances about these events. Mom was congratulated - and forgotten. Mom calmed down and left behind. And Rita lives with her least absurd, without waiting to meet the one and only. The role of wife turned out to be a burdensome responsibility. Rita feels bad. Mom is good. And those strangers’ aunts, for the sake of whose opinion all this happened, in fact always did not give a damn about Rita’s personal life.

Vasya’s mother and Rita’s mother met on the street.
- Divorced...
- And mine too...
- What young people have become irresponsible...

Today, a stamp in a passport is not a mandatory element of starting a family. Many women live in a civil marriage for many years and do not rush to the registry office. Why get married? What do you choose? Civil marriage or official?

Of course, if the relationship is falling apart at the seams, there is no need to rush into getting married. A wedding won't save a relationship.. You should think about a wedding only if everything is fine between the couple. However, if everything is fine, why change anything and announce the wedding?

My husband and I got married after six months of marriage. I’ll tell you about my feelings about what this stamp in my passport gave me personally.

Why get married?

1. It seems to me that, first of all, a wedding is needed for relatives. More precisely, for your confident well-being in the company of relatives. While you are “just living together,” your in-laws may not take you seriously. They may hope that one day you will disappear. Usually, after the wedding, the mother-in-law already understands that she will have to accept you for who you are. At the registry office, the husband publicly declares that his choice is final. The same goes for your relatives. Until you are scheduled, few will consider your choice final. After all, if you are sure that you will live with this man all your life... Why don’t you get married?

2. Why do many men prefer civil marriage? Subconsciously, men want to feel freedom. They want to feel like they can leave at any time. Of course, today it’s not a problem to get a divorce even after an official marriage... But I’m sure that the illusion of freedom attracts men in civil marriages. After the wedding, they begin to feel greater responsibility towards their family. And this strengthens good relationships .

3. A wedding is a magnificent ritual. Especially if you take it seriously and not just sign it. You may not immediately feel any internal changes. But rituals were created for this purpose, to fix the transition to a new status. You will feel that the choice has truly been made. A wedding is a public promise to each other. Publicity and all the elements of the ritual give this promise maximum significance.

4. A wedding is also a very beautiful holiday. This is the day in which you can realize your childhood dreams. Organize everything according to your taste. Buy an expensive beautiful dress. Feel like a princess. The wedding is illogical. Well, why spend so much money on a dress that you will only wear once? But this illogicality has its own beauty, its own magic.

5. You take your husband's last name. It helps you feel like you are with him - one unit.

6. And personally, I am bursting with pride when I openly say: "It is my husband". Or: “But my husband...” Not a young man or something else, but a husband. True, before the wedding I sometimes called him that too... But it seemed to me that I was being a little disingenuous.

However, I want to repeat it again. A wedding will not save a relationship! And if everything is not smooth between you, the advantages of a wedding can easily become big disadvantages. You can quarrel a hundred times while preparing for the celebration... You must remember that a wedding is also a lot of stress, especially for a girl. Because something can always go wrong. The dress got dirty, the photographer let us down, the car was cramped, the hairstyle went down in the evening... But a barely noticeable deterioration in your appearance on your wedding day can become a real tragedy! It’s funny to remember, but on our wedding day it was raining, and I was terribly worried about my own dress... I almost cried, watching how quickly it got dirty... Why did I need to worry? This dress is only meant for one day anyway...

Is it possible to do without a civil marriage?

And yet, a civil marriage is needed... After all, if you have never lived with this person, in fact, you do not know this person well. It’s one thing to meet for a few hours, even every day. And it’s a completely different thing to live together, to share your living space and your everyday life with this person. Of course, if you have strong love, you will overcome all challenges. But it seems to me that ideally it is better to live in a civil marriage for six months and only then register officially.

What does a civil marriage give?

1. You will learn all the basic habits of your future spouse. And you will understand can you put up with them or not.

3. Starting to live together, you will more often encounter some kind of disagreement. You will find out How does your spouse behave in conflict situations?. Is he willing to listen to someone else's point of view? Doesn't he start breaking plates hysterically every time there's an argument?

4. And of course, you will find out if yours match requirements for intimate life. This refers to the frequency and quality of sex. Agree, if one of you wants to do this five times a day, and the other twice a month... Quarrels are inevitable.

The main thing is your love. And it’s not too late to learn everything else! If you haven’t read the article “”, be sure to read it!

Civil marriage or official? Everyone decides this issue for themselves, but I am sure that both are very important. Civil marriage and official marriage are different stages of your relationship. Someone can live their whole life without a registry office, but in love and harmony with their husband. But I think there are many benefits to having a formal wedding.

Love yourself! And be happy!

A wedding is one of the most important events in the life of every person. This event marks the birth of a new family. Some attach great importance to this celebration, carefully plan it and prepare in advance. Others do not at all consider it necessary to spend money on organizing a magnificent holiday and simply celebrate this day in a narrow circle. So the question arises: is a wedding necessary? Does it affect future relationships?

Civil marriage - a solution or a dead end?

In the modern world, more and more couples prefer civil marriage. This does not limit the rights of partners and makes it possible to experience all the nuances of life together. At least, this is what most people do before deciding to get married. And others don’t think about the stamp in their passport at all. After all, the main thing is that your loved one is nearby. In fact, the relationship between a man and a woman does not depend in any way on whether there was a wedding and what kind of wedding it was - magnificent or modest, etc. You can have a luxurious party according to all the rules and canons and even go through a wedding ceremony, and then never see happiness in life. There are also situations when, instead of a wedding, there was a modest painting, without a table and a cortege, and the relationship only blossoms and strengthens. If the happiness of a family does not depend on celebrating its birth, then what is a wedding for?

What does this solemn event mean for a girl?

According to statistics, girls, of course, want to experience all the charm of the celebration. After all, from childhood, representatives of the fair sex know from fairy tales about princesses in magnificent decorations, about luxurious weddings in the palace and certainly with princes. Likewise, in real life, every girl wants to wear a wedding dress and experience all the benefits of being a bride. Veil, decorations, bouquet, guests, music and fun - all these attributes will take your breath away just by listing them. The celebration itself serves as a kind of realization of an old childhood dream.

That's what a girl's wedding is for in most cases. Also, many ladies are in a hurry to cross the line of free life and devote themselves to family and raising children. They see this as their purpose and are ready to implement themselves in this direction without delay. That is why more and more often the initiative comes from the fair sex. The celebration is also a great opportunity to be the center of attention.

Parents wanted

What is a wedding for? Sometimes the decision to hold a celebration is made by the parents of the boy and girl. After all, the past generation grew up on certain rules of society. And when people wanted to be together, they usually got married. It is sometimes difficult for parents to understand why their children do not live in an official marriage. After all, before this would have been considered a shame. But time moves forward, and many standards of society have long changed their guidelines. Now people pay attention primarily to self-realization. If starting a family does not run counter to their personal plans, then they tie the knot.

What if a guy and a girl have been dating for a long time or even live together. Why do they need a wedding? You need to understand each situation separately.

Opinions of outsiders

The first reason why celebrations of various formats are held is the official announcement of the creation of a young family. After all, relationships are not always advertised, and a wedding is a good reason to show your significant other to your many relatives. So we should not miss the fact that public opinion still matters. When, for example, a couple has been dating for a long time, sooner or later young people hear from acquaintances, relatives and friends the question of when is the wedding. And both the guy and the girl feel uneasy. Until this moment, they were happy with everything, they enjoyed the feelings and did not think about why the wedding was needed. Human psychology is structured in such a way that, having heard an opinion from the outside, he involuntarily begins to analyze it. Girls are more subject to the pressure of public opinion.

That is why they begin to give hints to their boyfriends in every possible way, and sometimes directly explain why they need a wedding. Often this results in strong marriages, and it also happens that everything ends before it even begins. Therefore, before getting married, you should get to know your partner well and observe his actions in different situations. The candy-bouquet period is, of course, good, but real life makes its own, sometimes not entirely pleasant, adjustments. You need to learn to live with your partner.

Conscious decision

What is a wedding for? The second reason for holding an identity ceremony is a conscious and final decision to be with a certain person. This step is especially difficult for men to take. After all, you need to take care of the family’s wealth, be able to provide for your wife and children, and also be confident in your own choice. Sometimes it happens that girls think for a long time. Of course, when entering into marriage, no one can give one hundred percent guarantees of its success and longevity. However, this is what life is given for, to comprehend it together with a loved one. You should not create a family as some kind of burden that will reduce personal opportunities or limit your own space.

Rather, you need to perceive this as a new stage in your life. Perhaps even expanding your own capabilities, because together it is not only more fun, but also easier to go through life’s journey.

Moving to a new level of relationship

Sometimes people wonder why a wedding is necessary if the relationship is fine and life suits both. The fact is that this can serve as a transition to a qualitatively new level of perception of both yourself and your partner. No matter what the experienced people say, life still changes after the wedding. A special sense of responsibility appears, which is the norm for some, but emotionally depressing for others. Therefore, it often happens that a couple who lived together in a civil marriage completely loses mutual understanding after a stamp in their passport. This is, rather, the result of an incorrect interpretation of responsibilities in the family.

For some reason, society has an opinion that life ends after marriage. There are even many jokes about this. But in reality it doesn't come to humor. Family is a new format of life.

Greater confidence

So what is a wedding for and for whom? For young people or those around them? The answer may seem ambiguous to some, but those who have experienced this situation themselves will certainly agree. A wedding is needed to gain greater confidence in your own environment. For example, when a guy and a girl meet, almost no one close to them takes their choice seriously. This is especially true for parents.

After the wedding, things are different. The daughter-in-law is no longer perceived as just a son's girlfriend, and the son-in-law becomes something more than the daughter's boyfriend. This principle changes a lot in the relationship between people around and the couple. The atmosphere within the union between the young may remain the same, especially if everything was good before. But others perceive the couple as a single whole, that is, a family.

A different format of celebration is an excellent alternative to the usual wedding

Young people, due to their insolvency, often wonder why a wedding must necessarily be traditional with many guests, a good table and attributes that are usually present at such celebrations. After all, you can come up with something more interesting, while saving a considerable budget, which can be spent on the needs of a young family. From a practical point of view, this is the correct approach.

What if this wedding becomes the only one in your life? It would be unreasonable to miss such an event and replace it with a symbolic painting. Maybe it’s not worth throwing a fancy buffet. But you should try to celebrate this day in such a way that it will be remembered for a lifetime. Moreover, a wedding is a beautiful ritual of uniting the destinies of people who have decided to walk the path of life together.

The oath is also of great importance. Pronounced in the presence of close people, it acquires the greatest significance for the bride and groom. After all, these are the words that one often has to remember in later family life. Sometimes the memory of your own oath helps you make the right decision in favor of your family when difficult times come.

Conclusion

A fairy tale in reality, or breaking stereotypes

A wedding is a rite, a tradition, and it has certain rules: the bride in a white dress, the groom in a suit, relatives and friends with gifts, a wedding cake and the first dance of the newlyweds. And there is nothing wrong with that! We don’t celebrate New Year without champagne and tangerines or Easter without Easter cakes and painted eggs! But “like everyone else” is boring and uninteresting. No one will forbid you to replace a fluffy wedding dress with a light beach one, dress the groom in a sand-colored suit, and the guests in bright dresses and shorts. Instead of banal champagne, we drink Mojito in colored glasses! You can also have a wedding in an ancient castle: live classical music, long dresses and tails, slow dancing... Such a wedding has its own zest and will be remembered by all guests for a long time! By the way, in order to make your celebration stylish, bright and memorable, you don’t need to be a great dreamer: in any city there are wedding agencies that will save you from the difficulties of preparation and make your dreams come true for a very reasonable amount.

Guests at the wedding, or calculator for calculating the participants of the celebration

Why does a good half of the names on the list of invitees echo like a high school physics course? Where did they come from? Mom wrote it down! So what should we do now? Why should these people be present at your holiday and wish the newlyweds happiness if they only learn the name of the groom at the registry office? Firstly, this is your holiday, not your mother’s. Secondly, when my mother got married, it was a completely different time, and if you don’t do “like everyone else,” they will look at you askance. It's the 21st century, and people will always look at you askance - even if you do everything according to the rules. You need to decide what is more important to you: your happiness or public opinion. It’s worth talking to your mom and explaining the situation. As a compromise - make the wedding in two days. On the first day, the closest and dearest, and on the second (if mom really insists) - everyone else.

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Finance, or everything within reason

Of course, a wedding is not always cheap. I want to throw a chic holiday, but on a small budget. And in our time this is quite real! Talk to your loved ones: this will solve many issues. Discuss a list of gifts in advance: your parents may want to give you a honeymoon, your friends may want to organize a bachelor and bachelorette party, your sister will buy a wedding cake, and your brother will order a limousine. But even if the wedding will cost you serious expenses, you don’t need to suffer or worry about it. You need to change your attitude - you are doing this not for someone, but for yourself and your future husband. You and your guests will remember this day for a long time, and emotions and impressions are the most valuable!

Happily ever after

Why do we come to work in a business suit? We comply with the dress code established by the rules, and thereby show our respect for the company, employees and manager. So why shouldn't you treat yourself with respect at your own wedding? This is one of the most important events in the life of every person, and this event is worthy of a chic white dress and a festive suit. You are on the threshold of a new life, and you should look just great! After all, your children will look at your wedding photos. And they should know that mom and dad are the most beautiful and happiest! If you want to be a princess, then be one! If you want you to ride away from the registry office on a white horse, let it be a white horse! Surround yourself on this day with your closest and dearest people who will sincerely be happy for your happiness, and nothing can ruin the Most Important Day of your life!

Unfortunately or fortunately, I am not one of the girls who, since childhood, dreamed of a magnificent wedding, a white dress and a long veil. No, I'm not at all saying that people shouldn't get married. But, you must admit, you can unite your destinies and hearts in different ways.

No imagination

I have attended five different weddings as a guest. Although, the word “different” is definitely superfluous here, because all five events were absolutely the same: the bride’s white dress, the groom’s black suit, the registry office, a limousine, a walk around the city, a restaurant, balloons, salads... It feels like there is a certain standard, according to which every wedding should be held. And if you don’t fit into the framework of this GOST and your dress, God forbid, is not white but blue, then your entire subsequent life will certainly turn into one big pumpkin. Incredible! In the 21st century, people do not want to wear banal clothes or give and receive banal gifts. Why do they still want a banal wedding?! And here’s what’s surprising: in ordinary life, my newlywed friends knew how to throw those fiery parties! And only in the case of their own marriage did their imagination treacherously fail them.

Who are all these people?

At each of the weddings I attended, I had the feeling that the bride and groom themselves had little idea who came to visit them. Friends, friends of friends, colleagues from the first job, Aunt Galya from Saratov, with whom the bride once spent her summer holidays, and neighbor Borka, with whom the groom sat at the same desk in first grade. I don’t know about you, but it seems absurd to me to invite people you barely know that you haven’t talked to for years to your wedding. And you are not going to communicate in the future. The bride is constantly being told that the wedding is “her” day (by the way, I wonder who owns all the other days of the week, year and life of the girl?) If this day is really “yours”, then there is a place in it only for those who are truly dear to you , and not everyone who will be offended by not receiving an invitation. After all, a wedding is a celebration of two lovers, and not a free picnic for numerous children, household members and neighbors in the country.

Without invoice and calculation

I consider it absolute madness that people want to spend the budget of a small African state on a very dubious celebration. I don’t understand how you can waste four salaries on 15 meters of white fabric, which you will put on once in your life, and then you will frantically think about where to put them. Because a “layered cake” style dress will never fit into any decent closet. People who take out a loan for a wedding are completely unsettling! Why go into debt? For the sake of the same aunt from Saratov, in whose mouth your dollars and rubles acquired through back-breaking labor will disappear?! The saddest thing is that half of my friends, who spent an amount with numerous zeros on their restaurant and salad celebration, divorced a couple of years after the significant date. Or we could use this money to travel around South America. At least the impressions remain...

Today we will talk in more detail about why a marriage or a wedding is needed for men and women, why register - to enter into a marriage “officially”, and why for many hundreds, or rather, even thousands of years, this strange ritual has not yet lost its relevance and has not ceased to exist.

And since this is part of my new book about natural human instincts and manipulation, we will also talk about mercantile things, let’s think about who benefits from marriage, whose interests it protects, and most importantly, whether it’s worth “entering” into it at all, or in our time it is possible to discard these old prejudices and live in some kind of civil marriage, or in some other unusual and interesting way.

Why is marriage necessary?

So, it’s no secret that today the majority of young people, and especially men, do not want to enter into an official marriage at all, and simply live together in a so-called “civil marriage,” but let’s think about how “official registration of marital relations” differs and why it is there at all need to.

Initially, marriage, as such, was conceived and preached by religious and moral teachings with the goal that a woman and a man would “finally decide” on the choice of a partner for “the rest of their lives” and swear “before God” that they would help and love “until the end of their days.” your partner. That is, a religious wedding or marriage is a definite vow to be together.

Why get officially married?

Further, the state also picked up the idea of ​​marriage, since this “social institution” quite strongly “stabilizes” society and makes it more civilized. The state always knows who lives with whom, all people are “under supervision,” and single mothers can be subsidized and supported financially.

But at the same time, it is also very desirable for the state that divorces do not occur, that husbands take care of their women and children, and not the state. For this purpose, everything possible was done to complicate the process of leaving marriage, and even in this case, to try to provide the woman with at least minimal material support from the man.

And then we get such a modern picture, when an official marriage is more necessary and beneficial for a woman, especially if she is going to give birth to children, and accordingly, most modern men begin to resist and try with all their might not to get married, since this will significantly limit their freedom. And this is exactly how it will be, because official marriage was invented precisely for this purpose.

Why do men get married?

But why then do men get married if it is usually less profitable for them? There are many reasons, mainly an established social habit (pattern) or the pressure of moral and social norms, as well as parents insisting on this. That is, if you are together, then get married and “legalize your relationship”

Or, for example, as often happens now, a girl becomes pregnant and the man is forced by all means to marry.

The second option, why a man needs marriage, is found today more often in very small religious families and with very principled girls. This is the case when a guy, in order to get a girl, must first marry her.

And the third, also interesting, but common case is when a man who is not very confident in himself wants to “officially secure” the right to constantly be with this woman through marriage.

The last reason why a man needs marriage is, of course, more noble, and almost coincides with the religious norm, but still we see that basically, if men were not pressured by public opinion, customs, social norms, as well as opinion and persistent the desire of the woman herself, then they would be much less likely to enter into a formal marriage relationship.

Well, as I already said, marriage is initially, even in the opinion of the state, more beneficial for women, and in divorces, the courts are always much larger and more often protect their rights. And a man “by default” is always considered wrong, even if this is clearly not the case, except in the most egregious cases.

Why does this happen and why is marriage so necessary for women? Everything, as always, is very simple and can be explained from a purely biological point of view. After all, after a man has a child, if the relationship breaks up, he loses the bare minimum; moreover, he may refuse to provide for the child altogether and go look for another woman to have another one. He won’t even have a trace, either on his body or in his passport, that he had any kind of relationship with anyone.

But a woman during pregnancy, as we know, loses the opportunity to work physically and, accordingly, provide financially for herself and her child. This happens because a person has a rather long period of bearing children, which is necessary in order to form the greatest invention and achievement of nature to date - the human brain.

Why should a woman get married?

The human brain is such a perfect system that with its help man has conquered all the animals on earth and even space, but in such conditions it is almost impossible for a woman to bear a child on her own; she needs support from a man, that is, to get married.

This is not bad or good, it’s just that without this “well-established system” of cohabitation between a man and a woman, a person simply would not be able to physically survive and become “the strongest and fittest creature on the planet.”

And the woman, because of this feature of the human structure, had to “get from nature” wider hips,” which now prevents her from “hunting” and getting food for herself even in ordinary life, because a man, even a young man (15 years old), is already becoming more physically strong and tougher than almost any woman. And during pregnancy, it becomes almost impossible for her to get food for herself.

Then, also for several years, she spends most of her time caring for the child, and the opportunity to work is as limited as possible. This happens because the child at birth is as weak as possible and is not able to get his own food on his own, as happens with most “other animals”.

He still needs to “mature” outside the mother’s body, since there is physically not enough space inside for him, and women’s hips would have to be made even more unsuitable for life and “walking straight.”

And the child needs this development so that the very mobile bones of the child’s skull allow his brain to grow to an even greater extent. Which ultimately is a small minus for the mother. Since a child needs to be “grown” and educated for a very long time, it is a huge plus for all humanity, which, thanks to this feature, has no equal in intelligence on this planet.

At least for this time, she needs at least material, and even better, physical and emotional support, and the care of a man, which is what marriage provides.

And also, if we judge from a purely legal point of view who benefits from marriage, then here too we see female dominance. After all, marriage is essentially an ordinary “civil contract” between a man and a woman to create a family, with its own rights and responsibilities between the “husband” and “wife,” which are quite clearly stated in the legislation (civil and family codes).

What, by the way, is the main subject of this agreement, do you think? Love? Of course not, love cannot be controlled by regulations. And this is not considered a necessary component when concluding an official marriage.

Good and friendly family relationships or sex? These things are also often subjective, and are not regulated by the state at all. After all, this is not the state’s business; it has no benefit from it. Therefore, “official” marriage relations and contracts regulate only relations regarding the creation and upbringing of children, as well as the division of material resources if the family breaks up.

I think you yourself have already guessed whether an official wedding is more beneficial for a man or a woman. After all, naturally, if a marriage breaks up, then in 98% of cases the woman receives mainly the subject of the “contract”, that is, what this family was created by the state in the first place - a child.

Accordingly, the main value of marriage goes to the wife initially. There are, of course, cases when women themselves abandon children or behave in such a terrible way that even a judge goes over to the man’s side, but these cases are rare, and for this a woman has to do such terrible things that a man would not be forgiven at all.

But this is only the beginning for a man, because after a divorce, if there are children, the man begins to pay alimony for the child until he comes of age, which the wife, of course, is not obligated to spend on the child at all, but solely at her own discretion. And if a man does not pay, then he may face criminal liability, even if he is not allowed to see the dishes or meet with the child, which also often happens.

Another strange nuance in the inequality in marriage between men and women is that the mother, if she wishes, can decide for herself whether she should give birth or have an abortion; the man’s opinion on this issue for her is purely “recommendatory” in nature. That is, if her opinion does not coincide with the opinion of her husband or partner, then her husband’s opinion can easily be ignored and not even taken into account.

But even if the man did not agree, he would still have to pay alimony. And if he is the opposite, he wanted a child “more than anything else,” then the last word always remains with the woman. And if she is not yet “ready” to have children, then it is impossible to force her, by law or in any other way.

Why are men afraid of marriage?

As a result, a strange inequality develops, when a woman, if she wants, will have children, and the man’s opinion plays practically no role here.

Moreover, even if she wants to have a child from a neighbor, then even in this case, the man’s opinion in marriage is also purely advisory in nature, and if he doesn’t like something, he can at most get a divorce, although in most cases, if the woman wishes, he simply won't know about it.

So one can even say that all the basic rights belong to the woman in marriage, and all the basic responsibilities belong to the man, so subconsciously, or even consciously understanding this, most men are still skeptical about entering into an official marriage.

In which, naturally, a woman is not even obligated to be faithful, since the state doesn’t care about this, it’s just her personal “moral choice” whether to be faithful or not.

Which, by the way, essentially has nothing to do with an “officially concluded” marriage, because if this particular woman wants, then she will be faithful even without marriage, and if she doesn’t want, then no stamps in her passport will stop her, moreover modern statistics say that about 70% of women and even more have cheated at least once in marriage.

But why then do men still end up getting married, even with such “not very” favorable conditions for them, we will find out in the next part of this article. From which we actually learn, and also, most importantly, how to secure our choice as much as possible in such conditions and still, in the end, become happy in family life, no matter what. Better yet, read all of mine, and if you are interested in self-development, you can read about it on our portal.