Sometimes you have to leave to come back. Varekai

The question often arises in women's lives: what should they do - stay in the family or leave. Such questions have approximately the same content, and behind each of them there is a huge tragedy of a woman.

The scenario of a woman’s suffering is approximately the same:

— for many years the husband has been drinking, beating, not making money, having a mistress, playing computer games or gambling. The list of a husband’s sins can be quite long, but the essence is the same – dependence and absence from the family.

— for many years the woman has been struggling with his habit, putting up with it, waiting, hoping that one day something will change, making trouble, looking for cunning ways to save her husband.

- children appear in the family, and the woman begins to hope that her husband will change something in himself, at least for the sake of the children. Changes do not happen; on the contrary, the burden falls more and more heavily on the shoulders of women.

- in the end, the woman despairs and is left with a choice - endure and hope further, or get a divorce and be left alone with the children.

And now, as a rule, at the stage of despair, when the situation has reached a dead end and the woman has no strength left, she begins to look for help on the outside.

In this situation, helping a woman turns out to be extremely difficult, and often completely impossible, because it requires fundamental changes in the woman’s worldview, enormous efforts by the woman and great energy of love that will surround her.

And by this time the woman no longer has any strength, no faith, no love, no help.

An advanced disease is very difficult to treat, and sometimes impossible. Even treating a chronic disease requires time and highly qualified doctors.

And there is only one way - to prevent illness from the beginning, to prevent relationships, to learn to start a family and to correct your mistakes at the stage when this can still be done with little loss.

Today I want to talk to those who are faced with a dilemma - to get a divorce or not. Don’t expect a ready answer from me to this question, because you will make the decision about this yourself, and only you will be responsible for it.

I can only give direction and some understanding of things based on which this decision will be easier for you to make.

When, in what case, is it advisable to end a relationship and do it as early as possible?

- if there is violence in the family, the husband raises his hand against the woman, you need to run away from such a family as quickly as possible. The sooner a woman does this, the greater her chances of restoring her mental health and finding happiness in a new family.

- if a man has a severe addiction - alcohol, drugs, gambling. The sooner you get rid of the illusion that your love, children, or anything else will encourage him to give up everything, the greater the chance he will actually take a different path. Men are able to cope with their addiction on their own. Sometimes for this he needs to fall to the very bottom, lose everything that is dear to him. He can change for the sake of the woman he loves, but he is unlikely to do this if she, while he indulges in his passions, creates for him the comfort and warmth of home.

- if a woman initially married for convenience - for the sake of money, to escape from her parents, out of revenge on her loved one, because all her friends were already married, etc., and if she does not feel any feelings for her husband, even if the thought of intimate relationship causes her rejection. I want to emphasize again - if a woman is indifferent to a man, if she sees him as a good person, if she is grateful to him for what he gives her, but at the same time remains completely cold. If there are no feelings, if a woman does not have any enthusiasm to change for the sake of this man, this relationship is doomed, and it is better to let the person go early so that both partners can find their happiness than to hope that feelings will appear from somewhere.

In these cases, the decision is clear, and the woman needs to muster up the courage to face the truth and get out of the captivity of illusions that suddenly, for no reason at all, things will be different in their family. Suddenly it won't happen. And sometimes you need to leave to give both yourself and your partner a chance to change your life.

Children in these cases are not a reason to save the marriage, please do not make them hostage to your mistakes and misconceptions about the family:

- observing the suffering of the parents, the child feels guilty, and often subconsciously strives for death in order to free his parents from the duty of preserving the family against their will.

- in a dysfunctional family that is preserved for the sake of the child, the child is vaccinated against the family, learns to lie and be a hypocrite, it will be very difficult for him to then create his own family on the platform of harmony and happiness, because he did not receive such experience from his parents.

- very often, sacrificing themselves for the sake of the child, parents then present him with a bill for services that he did not order, and thereby create a huge gap between themselves and the child.

- on his shoulders, a child can bear the burden of responsibility for the misfortune of his parents until the end of his life - after all, he was the reason that they did not seek their new happiness.

And this child’s suffering is much greater and has dire consequences than experiencing the pain of his parents’ divorce.

In what cases is it advisable not to rush into divorce?

- if you are offended, dissatisfied with your husband, if you have accumulated many complaints against him inside. In this case, the woman will also not feel love for her husband, but running away from him in this state is not an option.

- if you have already escaped from several men, but the situation does not change with each subsequent one.

- if you blame only your husband for everything, and do not understand your contribution to the situation.

- if you are ready to change for the sake of this person, if he is dear to you, and you are ready to come to terms with his lifestyle, forgive him and start life from scratch.

If this is your case, it is very important for you to understand that:

- you yourself chose this man to be your husband, and you are responsible for family relationships. If you did not create them for a long time, expecting that your husband would somehow become the way you want, or you used techniques and manipulations that do not work, then you got the result of your inaction or ignorance.

- you attracted this man into your life not by chance, he is a reflection of your femininity, all his mistakes are your mistakes, all failures in your relationships are a consequence of your ignorance.

- you have no understanding of the difference between male and female natures, there is not enough knowledge about relationships, there is no understanding of how to be a woman and what to do with a man when he becomes a husband.

- your pain, claims, grievances, anger at your husband - this is your emotional baggage, which you yourself created and accumulated, allowing your husband to sit on your neck and putting up with his ugly actions towards you. It was not your husband who created it in you, and it is not he who should get rid of it. You will have to deal with this yourself.

- all problems are inside you, not in your husband. And if you don’t resolve them within yourself, a new relationship will not bring you new happiness. Because a woman brings happiness to her family.

Having realized and corrected your mistakes, cleared your heart of claims and pain, developed your femininity, you can suddenly find the person closest to you nearby.

In any case, only you can decide how to live and with whom, and be responsible for these decisions.

Tatiana Plotnikova

No need to be afraid of breakups! Everything that is yours will definitely come back. And that's why...

People are very afraid of expenses and partings, and pauses with any uncertainty often fill us with panic. “What if nothing ever happens in my life again?” It will happen, it will happen. Somehow it will happen - that’s for sure, but to make it better than just “somehow”, you need to work hard.

They say that all lessons are best taught at a distance. In the ideal case, of course, we need to prepare for a relationship before the relationship, as, indeed, for all other important stages and events of our lives, but it depends on your luck, who knows what we are destined to do there. Some people manage to acquire the necessary knowledge before a fateful meeting, while others have to win their happiness from life with fire, water and copper pipes; all this is not so important in reality. I would like to draw your attention to the fact that sometimes it is better to pause and pay attention to unlearned lessons individually, instead of jointly destroying something that is not yet strong.

No need to be afraid of breakups! Everything that is yours will definitely come back. Week, month, year - it doesn't matter. Everything that’s yours will definitely come back, or rather, it won’t really be able to go anywhere. It seems that you have decided that everything is over, but life constantly pushes you and pushes you along the way. But it doesn’t allow you to get close to each other, because each of you needs time to mature. Mature for each other or for other partners - no one knows how your pause will end. At times periods turn into commas, and sometimes they hang in the air like ambiguous ellipses...

We are very afraid of separation, but we are even more afraid of getting closer. And here, go try to choose the lesser of two evils. A step towards - personal boundaries collapse, the ego dissolves, where are you, where is he - but who would know, it’s scary. Two steps back are much safer, that’s how we dance – one step forward, two steps back. To come close and push away, to want more than anything in the world to be close, but never dare to step into the unknown.

To let someone else close, you need to learn to know yourself. Each of us has both light and shadow. Learn to accept your shadow, learn to love who is inside, learn to be grateful for what already exists in each of us. Often we rush to conquer another person without really even knowing ourselves. Why rush? Why conquer? Go deeper, study what is inside each of us, spring will come and the flowers will bloom on their own. People do not meet by chance, every meeting has some meaning, but what that meaning is is not always possible to figure out, at least not right away. Big things can be seen from a distance.

The deeper and subtler the world you discover within yourself, the more resistant (but not insensitive) you become to changes in the external environment. If the sun is shining inside, does it make a difference what the weather is like outside? Do you remember what inscription was on King Solomon's ring? “Everything passes, and this too will pass!” Pauses end one day, partings are replaced by meetings again, what kind of meetings - time will tell, but for now, each of us has something to do.

Develop, blossom, reveal your potential, learn to give warmth and care to your loved ones, and love will come one day, it will definitely come!

Next spring, Varekai - the production that began the amazing history of Cirque du Soleil in Russia - returns in an arena show format to visit Moscow, St. Petersburg, Kazan, Chelyabinsk, Tolyatti and Sochi. Today, closed ticket sales have begun for Cirque du Soleil fans for the Varekai show in all tour cities of the Russian tour.

In 2009, when Cirque du Soleil debuted in Russia with the Varekai show, the bright, phantasmagoric images and characters of the show, and the very atmosphere that accompanied the performances, completely changed the Moscow public’s ideas about circus art.

Then it seemed surprising that in an essentially circus production there could be not only a stunt, but also poetic theatricality, a clear story and live vocals; that costumes can be created by an Oscar and Cannes Film Festival winner, dance movements by a choreographer walking on crutches, video projections by an artist who has worked on the world’s most prestigious TV broadcasts. Finally, that the whole action as a whole can be absolutely seamless and “seamless”.

In 2009, Cirque du Soleil was able to show the show only in Moscow: the pause in the European tour was only enough for one city, so the arena show format, in which the production found a new life in 2014, will make it possible to do what was impossible then - show Varekai and in other cities of Russia. However, the organizers of the show could not leave Moscow aside and took the liberty of re-presenting the show to the discerning Moscow public: the capital’s audience will have a chance to see with their own eyes how the show changes and evolves over the years, remaining a living organism and a poetic universe, filled with vivid images, amazing colors and heart-tugging sounds.

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The basic story remains the same: a wounded Icarus falls into an unknown, mysterious forest. To get out and survive, to find himself and not break, he must regain his wings. In his wanderings, Icarus is accompanied by the inhabitants of a mysterious forest located at the foot of a volcano, “wherever.” On the edge of time, in a world where anything and more is possible, the show sings an inspired hymn to love, rethinking life and the newfound wonder that lies at the core of the universe and our soul.

Michael G. Smith, Artistic Director of Varekai, is proud to return to Russia:

“The theme of the show - Icarus’s journey along the magical roads of life in search of himself - has remained unchanged, because it perfectly reflects that important thing that distinguishes a person - inspiration. It gives everyone hope: no one is alone as long as a person has the courage to open up to the world and accept new experiences. Of course, some of the acts in the show have changed, as have the style and fashion, because circus art must reflect modern trends, and the acrobatic element must correspond to what surrounds people in 2015. Perceiving your shows as a continuous work process is part of the Cirque du Soleil code and a reflection of life, where everything changes and nothing lasts forever.

It is interesting that Cirque du Soleil will travel to new Russian cities with exactly the same show that it performed in Russia in 2009. This is exactly why the arena versions are created: by adapting the show to existing sports facilities, we get the opportunity to travel to more cities and “lure” a wider audience into the world of Varekai,” continues Michael, “I’m especially glad to come to Russia with the third show Cirque du Soleil. I adore the country for its rich culture and some duality, but I am especially happy to find here the warmth and friendliness of the people who are proud to share their cultural and historical heritage with others.”

Varekai tour schedule in Russia:

Partners of the Varekai show in Russia:

• Ferrero Rocher

About Cirque du Soleil:

Since its founding in 1984, Cirque du Soleil has captivated more than 160 million audiences in more than 400 cities in 60 countries on five continents. Around the world in 2015, audiences will be able to see 18 Cirque du Soleil shows. Cirque du Soleil Rus is a joint venture created in partnership with George and Craig Cohon to develop Cirque du Soleil's business in Russia. More detailed information can be found on the website www.cds.ru.

This sexy American woman, recognized as a style icon and the adoration of millions of women around the world, is just a figment of the imagination of writer Candace Bushnell. But even the fact that the real Carrie Bradshaw never existed did not stop her from becoming perhaps the most famous female character of our time. We say “Sex and the City” - we remember Carrie, we say Carrie - we remember the cult series. In addition to sex, there were many love stories in the life of a charming girl, and some of them deserve special attention.

The uninhibited and intelligent writer Carrie Bradshaw, the author of a column about sex and love in a city newspaper in New York, continues to believe in a great and sincere feeling, despite personal failures and her age of “somewhat over 30.” Popular with men, Carrie dates various members of the stronger sex, but in her heart there is always a love for the one and only John Preston, whom the girl calls only “the man of my dreams.”

John Preston: sometimes you have to leave to come back

Carrie's relationship with the man of her dreams resembles a pendulum: from one extreme to another - sometimes very good, sometimes very bad. Sometimes the state of “badness” reaches the point that the heroes separate, but life still pushes their heads together. And this happens more than once or twice.

Unfortunately, it is only after losing Carrie that Preston realizes how much he loves her. As if afraid that he will be tamed, Mr. Big (another comic nickname of John) disappears from the girl’s life just when it seems to her that now everything is definitely serious. One day these games go too far, and Preston, having left New York for Paris, returns with his fiancee, a model named Natasha. But their marriage did not last long precisely because Mr. Big began dating Carrie again.

Morality: This relationship is a vivid example of the fact that not every man is able to understand how dear a woman is to him until he loses her. Unfortunately, some of them think more about themselves, their freedom, than about sharing happiness with one single girl. Having finally gained their long-awaited independence, they suddenly realize that they have lost much more. But sometimes there is nowhere to go back.

Aidan Shaw: the man who wants to get married

Furniture designer Aidan Shaw is the dream of half the women on our planet: loyal, kind, open, ready to belong to one girl and make her happy. He appears in Carrie’s life after her breakup with Mr. Big, and it seems that the holiday has finally arrived on the writer’s street, but this impression is deceptive. Carrie lacks the sharpness, the old passion, which was in abundance in her relationship with Preston. She is sure that she loves Aidan, but she is frightened by this calmness, frightened by the prospect of becoming a typical wife and going to the village on weekends. If you look at it, the affair with Aidan is a mirror reflection of the relationship with Mr. Big, only now Carrie herself avoids getting closer, telling her ideal lover: “You are too available.” Despite her doubts, Carrie still accepts the marriage proposal, although she wears the wedding ring around her neck like a pendant. It is not difficult to guess that the wedding never took place.

Morality: Half of the Sex and the City fans were angry with Carrie because of the way she treated Aidan, believing that this is not the right thing to do to a man who is in love with you. In some ways they are right. In fact, giving false hope, knowing that sooner or later you will disappoint your loved one, is not the best tactic. It is much more honest, realizing that you and your man have completely different views on life, to end the meaningless relationship before it goes too far.

Jack Berger: the guy who can't break up

The talented writer Jack Berger is another passion of Carrie, whom she met after failed romances with the two most important men in her life. Berger knew how to make Carrie laugh and understand, however, he was unable to sincerely rejoice for the writer when his own career was going through hard times. Jack decides to break up with Carrie, but does it in a very strange way - through a note. This act throws the girl off balance, but she quickly comes to her senses, deciding that parting is not the end of life.

Morality: Carrie had been through several painful breakups, and Berger's note surprised her rather than seriously upset her. Perhaps previous experience helped the girl not to fall into despair. Be that as it may, at that time the heroine already had her own rules for breaking up: “The first thing is to get rid of those photos where he is sexy and you are happy. Second, lie, it’s much easier. Third, until you are emotionally stable, don’t go shopping. Fourth, don’t stop thinking about him for a second, because that’s when he will appear. And the most important rule: no matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to mend it, you won’t be able to get through it without your friends.”

Who would you marry?
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