How to be with the person you love. How to forget the person you love

It takes me a maximum of one week to forget the one I loved, even if the relationship lasted a long time. You might think that I have emotional strength or that I am an exception, but the truth is that I suffered for over a year after my first breakup, and then I started reading about the psychology of love and relationships and developed a certain immunity to breakups.

In my article on breakups, I will pass on the ability to develop immunity to you, and the pain after a breakup will no longer bother you.

How to forget your beloved man or woman quickly and get rid of the pain after parting? The key to forgetting is not to do the right thing, but to avoid doing the wrong thing.

Once our feelings have been emotionally hurt, it usually takes some time to heal and forget about it, unless the process is complicated by wrong actions.

If, while you are trying to forget your ex-partner, new events continue to occur that remind you of this person, the healing process begins again from the beginning.

The reason why millions of people cannot recover from an injury is because they restart the healing process every time they have almost forgotten about the person and it all starts all over again. So stop restarting the counter!

Some actions that interfere with healing

To quickly forget your loved one, you should avoid the following actions:

1. Indulge in dreams and think about him. Yes, we cannot always control our thoughts, but at least we can reduce their number. If at first you think about a person 100% of the time, gradually reduce this time to 10%, then to 5%, and then stop thinking about him completely!

2. Get rid of old memories: gifts, photos and mementos, instead of looking at them every day. Burn photos, eat chocolate, delete the music you listened to together.

4. Stop going to the same places you used to go to together.

5. Realize why you fell in love with him. You may discover that it was due to loneliness, a need for love, or even a need for compensation. In this case, you should deal with your own weaknesses instead of trying to win back the one you broke up with.

6. Understand that there is no such thing as “the one.” There are many potential partners somewhere nearby for each of us; you have only met one of them. The media fed you false beliefs until you grew to believe that there was something like “the one.”

7. Stop listening to sad, depressing music, watching romantic movies, or anything else that reminds you of the wound, that feeds you false beliefs about your past relationship, and prevents you from moving past it until you heal.

How to quickly forget someone who broke your heart?

It's not hard to forget someone who broke your heart if you realize the following:

The methods you use to forget such a person will be somewhat different from the methods you use to forget someone who did not break your heart.

The reasons why additional measures need to be taken is that there are other factors involved in this situation, such as your wounded ego, the blow to your feelings for this person.

Sometimes a person suffers for a long time after the end of a relationship precisely because of a wounded ego, and not because he does not know how to forget the love he felt for the one who broke his heart!! This means that you could stop suffering completely, but you are still suffering because of the unpleasant feelings associated with the way you were abandoned or rejected.

Extra Steps It Takes to Forget Someone Who Broke Your Heart

Additional steps required to forget someone who broke your heart include healing your bruised ego and strengthening your self-esteem if it has been damaged.

• Healing your ego. You should not heal your ego through revenge or hatred towards this person, because in this way you will show yourself as an offended person. You can heal your ego by showing the person that he has lost the treasure that is you. It's not a quick fix, but it will definitely work. Channel all your anger into motivating yourself to become better and better, and sooner or later the news will reach the one who broke your heart, and he will realize his loss.


• . Sometimes people can't get over breakups because of the blow to their self-esteem, not because of their love for the person who left them!! The thought that you were abandoned, allegedly because you were somehow wrong, prevents you from forgetting the one who abandoned you. After all, if increasing your self-esteem was your original goal when you entered into a relationship, then only by strengthening your self-esteem will you be able to heal from the relationship. In short, you don't need this person, you just need to feel your own worth.

Farukh Radwan, M.Sc.

The psychology of people is designed in such a way that it is quite difficult for them to give up their intentions. Even if there is an understanding that actions do not bring the desired result. Unrequited love can bring a lot of suffering. Everyone wants to feel loved and desired. When feelings remain unclaimed for a long time, a feeling of uselessness appears and thoughts about the meaninglessness of what is happening occur.

How to forget the person you love? Most people ask this question at least once in their lives. The fact that feelings are not always mutual is very difficult to understand and accept. Therefore, the only way out of this situation seems to be decent care. How can you forget the person you love?

Self-esteem

The first thing to understand is that in all situations it is necessary to maintain respect for one’s own personality. You cannot allow another person to manipulate you. Otherwise, grievances will accumulate and discontent will grow. What can you do to forget someone you love very much?

In fact, if you understand the situation, it turns out that there is no need to reduce the capabilities of your own memory. You just need to gradually cultivate self-love. In fact, this is a big deficit in life. People sometimes become so immersed in their own experiences that they do not have time to love themselves. There is nothing worse than living someone else’s life, realizing dreams that are not your own. So is it necessary to waste precious time on a person who does not value you? To be unnecessary is a pitiful role; you wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Sometimes it is very difficult to forget the person you love very much. Sometimes it seems that this is completely impossible to do, especially under duress. Personal psychology is such that if someone does not love you, then there is a need to win the heart of the chosen one. In most cases, this activity can be considered as useless as the idea of ​​hoping for reciprocity when there is no reason for it is generally senseless.

Having something you love can bring a person into a state of inspiration. Anyone who has a high goal in life is sure to be results-oriented. He will no longer fulfill other people’s requests that contradict his inner world. What you love makes life meaningful, interesting and incredibly promising. A passionate person has no time to suffer for someone who does not pay attention to you. You need to not just try to forget, but fill your life with new meaning.

The ability to abstract

An extremely valuable acquisition that people often largely neglect. When it comes to unrequited love, you need to try with all your might to isolate yourself from disturbing experiences. An unrequited feeling, unfortunately, more often visits those who love themselves little. Thus, life seems to force you to reconsider your own ideals and change your attitude towards your personality. The ability to abstraction helps to cope with colossal internal pain. Overcoming the subjective feeling of hopelessness is necessary for a fulfilling future life. If this is not done in time, perhaps the worst thing will happen – the loss of the individual’s self. Fortunately, some part of the consciousness always makes sure that the essence of an individual person is not destroyed. Forgetting the guy you love is not easy for any girl. Surely this will take her a lot of time and require the investment of a colossal amount of internal strength.

Taking responsibility

In order not to become an unhappy person, an unrequited lover needs to clearly see his situation. There is no need to rush from despair to hope. So there is a chance of only breaking your heart, becoming an involuntary toy in the hands of the one who has acquired power over the lover. The psychology of a loving person is such that he does not notice the shortcomings of the chosen one. Everything about him seems perfect, full of true ideal. The more a person loves, the harder it is for him to accept the idea of ​​the need to part. Even if this is an exhausting attachment that leads to nothing but suffering, often a girl fails to give up on her boy. She is ready to run after him, constantly sacrificing her feminine dignity. And parents fail to return their child to a happy worldview. Many people get this experience.

We need to try to work it out and draw the appropriate conclusions. If this is not done, the situation will repeat itself constantly, each time bringing a lot of suffering. Taking responsibility means not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. It is necessary to realize that love must be mutual. Otherwise, it will not be able to bring real joy and true satisfaction.

Delete contacts

How to quickly forget someone who does not reciprocate? When you fail to remove someone from your memory for a long time, you involuntarily become fixated on the problem. A person generally stops noticing what is good in life. It is necessary to exclude the possibility of any, even accidental, meeting. Unforeseen meetings can aggravate a healing wound and make a person nervous and irritable. It is best to delete all contacts from your mobile phone and address book.

The psychology of a lover is such that he will constantly strive for the object of his love. Is it possible to forget the person you love with all your heart? Yes, if you exclude even random contacts. There is nothing sadder than constantly going in circles and hoping for reciprocity. In this case, a strong personality turns into a driven and weak-willed one. It is not for nothing that such people are pitied more than admired.

Fluffy pet

When you need to abstract yourself from experiences that depress your soul, getting a kitten or puppy will help. A pet that needs to be looked after can fill the void in the heart. The fact is that everyone who experiences the bitterness of unrequited love desperately needs to feel needed. A sense of self-worth should come from a conscious desire to care for someone, to give a living being a piece of your warmth.

A pet can help soothe the pain that comes from a mental wound. The feeling of meaninglessness and the fear of experiencing disappointment again will definitely go away. The psychology of every normal person is such that he simply needs to take care of someone. If by a certain age your soulmate does not appear on the horizon, then your feelings need to be realized somewhere. A cat or dog will help make up for the lack of warmth.

Trips

Traveling is the best way to unwind and help yourself fill with new positive thoughts. When traveling, people dispel their anxiety, sadness and despair. Why is this happening? The fact is that we all need a change of scenery from time to time. This helps you not to get lost in life and start thinking constructively. It is necessary to leave unrequited love when this love really brings only suffering. You need to understand that there is no point in forcing yourself to suffer when there is a lot of interesting things in life.

Positive thoughts will bring new thoughts and increase optimism. This way, a person who is unrequitedly in love will be able to see positive changes in life. And they are actually extremely necessary for building a harmonious relationship with yourself. Learning to appreciate moments spent alone with yourself is truly beneficial. This will lead to the realization that life does not end with experiences of unrequited love.

People experiencing unrequited love often deliberately limit themselves to friendly contacts. This is a wrong position that does not allow you to achieve any significant results in life. Every person needs live communication with people, sincere participation, help and support. When the experience of unrequited love occurs, it is extremely important that someone lend a friendly shoulder and allow the individual to remain himself.

Interesting communication can really make up for the loss of a lost part of one’s personality. A person cannot be left alone. Otherwise, changes will begin that will take on a negative nature. It is unacceptable to focus only on your own experiences and not see what is happening around you. People immersed in their thoughts often do not notice those who are nearby. But with such a position it is impossible to become a happy person. Until the realization comes that you need to share your experiences, close friends will not appear. Under no circumstances should you limit yourself to interesting communication, which can help perk up your spirit and fill life with new, truly amazing meaning.

New relationships

In most cases, people who have experienced unrequited love are afraid to start a new relationship. It seems to them that the situation will miraculously repeat itself and everything will definitely start all over again. Of course, no one wants to experience severe disappointment again. However, a new relationship can become both a reason for frustration and turn into a real opportunity to become a truly happy person. You will have to make some efforts and work on yourself so as not to repeat your previous experience. But by limiting yourself in acquaintances and impressions, you cannot achieve a state of personal happiness.

Thus, it is possible to overcome unrequited love. There is no need to fight with it or forcefully tear it out of your heart. It is necessary to establish a relationship with your own essence, learn to value yourself. Only then will there be a chosen one who will happily reciprocate the feelings shown to him.

The sphere of human relationships is one of the most complex and controversial areas of study in psychology. It provokes almost the greatest number of our emotions. Unfortunately, not always positive. Harmony in relationships with other people is not easy to achieve, but it is quite possible if your goals and views on the world as a whole coincide. Otherwise, the task becomes much more complicated, but is also not unsolvable. The result will simply be different from the desired one, although with due effort it can become acceptable and even quite comfortable for both parties.

If a person who arouses your strong sympathy does not reciprocate, then several approaches are possible on your part. You can try to win his favor, find an alternative in another person, or accept the situation as it is. But the most reasonable strategy would be to try to forget a person who you like, but does not experience reciprocal feelings. The rationality of this approach contradicts emotions, but has many logical arguments in its favor.

Why forget the person you like?
At first glance, this idea may seem simply absurd, especially for a person passionate about his unapproachable “object”. However, we sincerely advise you to take a deep breath (figuratively speaking) and consider the following aspects (to put it quite literally):

1. It is impossible to force a normal, mentally balanced person (and we are sure that this is the recipient of your sympathy) to experience feelings that do not exist. He may, for some reason, imitate emotions, but you cannot impose them against his will. So why do you need a fake, pretend relationship, which sooner or later will still reveal its true nature? You won’t be nice by force, and folk wisdom in this is very deep. Nothing good will come from an artificially created connection, so just don’t create additional problems, don’t spoil the karma of either yourself or another person.
   
2. Forgetting a person you like does not mean erasing him from your memory and stopping recognizing him when you meet him. This just means stopping being overly enthusiastic about him - more than the moderate degree of your intimacy implies. With this attitude, it will be much easier for you to communicate with him, perceive his words, actions and personality itself. Such a sober look is the key to objective perception. Perhaps he will even show you certain shortcomings of the object of your sympathy, and make it clear that you were in vain to be so obsessed with him. A cool head is an excellent and only correct state for analyzing, making decisions and performing any actions.
   
3. Instead of concentrating your thoughts on the person you like, think about yourself, after all! No one will do this for you, especially a person indifferent to your person. Therefore, taking care of your well-being, mood and moral peace is entirely your personal problem and task. Show healthy selfishness, you may even be slightly angry with your chosen one for his spiritual callousness! In any case, this will be a healthier emotion than your current despondency and melancholy. Surely the person who evokes your unrequited sympathy is smart, kind and extremely attractive - but it is already obvious that he does not want to share these joys of life with you. So is it worth wasting your precious time?
   
4. By the way, about wasting time. Now you are completely absorbed in your sympathy and do not think about such trifles, but time is objective, and it moves inexorably forward. And while you spend it on dreams that are likely to be fruitless, life goes on. And it can be filled with pleasant events, vivid impressions and new acquaintances - if only you so desire. And if not, then you risk sooner or later coming to your senses and seeing that time has passed, and it’s too late to make up for much. This is one of the most bitter disappointments - so don’t allow it in your life.
   
5. Life is arranged very wisely, and therefore, as they say, a holy place is never empty. Make room in your head and soul for someone who will reciprocate your feelings. But to do this, you need to escort out of there the one who is there now by your will. You don't need a person who doesn't need you. But somewhere there is a person who really misses you. But endlessly thinking about the object of sympathy that is indifferent to you, you risk simply not letting him into your life. Get ready to meet him and the reciprocal feeling addressed to you.
   

We forget gradually - slowly but surely
So, you are determined to forget the person you like, but communicating with whom does not promise a happy relationship. He may be indifferent to you or love someone else, be married, or even have an alternative sexual orientation. In this case, this is not important - the main thing is to get rid of the obsessive desire to be with him as quickly and effectively as possible. To do this you will need determination and willpower. Our tips can help:

1. Information blockade. The most effective method that has helped many in a situation similar to yours. It operates on the principle of “out of sight, out of mind” and it really works. You need to get rid of not only thoughts and fantasies about your dear friend, but also everything that might remind you of him. To do this, ruthlessly throw away (or at least hide for a while until the feelings pass) all things that are somehow connected with the object of sympathy, and even more so gifts and general souvenirs. Photos, videos, SMS and answering machine messages. If this does not help dull your emotions, then resolutely throw your contacts in the phone book, social networks, Skype and other instant messengers into the trash. In our age of high technology, over time you will be able to easily restore them, but now you need to minimize all clues and opportunities for communication.
   
2. Keep busy. Based on the previous point, it would be better for you to go near the computer as little as possible (unless your work is inextricably linked with it or virtual games do not help you distract from romantic experiences). Your task is to fill your time as much as possible with exciting and, if possible, useful activities, impressions, emotions - so that there is simply no time or energy left to think about a nice person. Go to the movies, read books, learn to roller skate/skate/wakeboard. All these events will give you new experiences and, most importantly, new acquaintances.
   
3. Meet people. Even if your social circle is enough for you and you don’t need anyone else, don’t refuse the opportunity to at least chat with new friends. Perhaps these people will not become anything more than disposable interlocutors for you, but it is possible that among them you will meet someone who will completely knock your old crush out of your head and take its place in a completely new status.
   
4. Develop yourself. To forget a person you like, but do not experience reciprocal feelings, direct all unspent emotions to yourself. Love yourself, make yourself happy, pamper yourself in moderation. Positive emotions are now necessary for you, like vitamins. Sign up for a class you've been wanting to take, buy yourself a new bag, and/or bake a chocolate cake. Endorphins are an excellent catalyst for internal resources and good mood. They are produced when you do pleasant things and change for the better. Therefore, trying to forget the desired person is the right time to update your wardrobe, change your hairstyle, join a gym or swimming pool, lose weight, quit smoking, start eating right and implement many more good, but previously postponed “for later” plans.
   

What won't help you forget the person you like?
The process of giving up strong sympathy for most people is accompanied by unstable emotional states. Now you, too, are probably prone to impulsive and not fully thought-out actions. Therefore, try to control your every step and refrain from:

1. Sweets. Eating sadness with ice cream and candy is a popular way to forget, which has been depicted more than once in cinema. Don’t follow in the footsteps of fictional heroes: their excess weight is just make-up, while the extra pounds you eat will not add to your health, harmony, or self-confidence on the personal front.
   
2. Alcohol. The stronger your inner emptiness, the more difficult it is to stop in time and not drink too much. It is difficult psychological situations that most often provoke the worsening of addictions. Don't give in to temptation.
   
3. Fasting. The other extreme to which emotional natures are prone. Heartache can indeed suppress your appetite for a long time, but refusing to eat (intentional or unintentional) will only make you weaker in the face of the challenge - both psychologically and physically.
   

All the tips listed above are designed to help you cope with a difficult life situation as quickly as possible and with minimal losses. And if you are able to use them and overcome the test, you will probably soon meet a person who will not only like you, but will also feel no less affection for you.

You had it all: walks under the moon, dinners by candlelight, passionate sex, romance. In an instant, all this was gone. “I’m leaving you,” the fatal words fall from your beloved lips, and the whole world collapses. You can knock on the threshold of his apartment and call him at night, breathing languidly into the phone. Or you can pull yourself together and forever end your feelings for someone who could never make you happy.

How to forget a man who left you

The trauma of breaking up a relationship causes the same pain to the soul that can be inflicted physically on the body by hitting a person. Continuing to see the analogy between physical and moral suffering, let us remember what happens to us when we receive a physical injury. First comes the shock. We may not even feel pain in the first moments. Then she covers us. We start crying. We inform everyone about our trouble from whom we want to receive help and support. The doctor prescribes treatment. We try to follow all the recommendations, take medications, we want to recover as quickly as possible. Time passes, the wound heals. Health is good again. Mental pain must also be dealt with: treated and scrupulously following the recommendations of psychologists until health returns.

Don't fool yourself

First you need to realize that you won’t be able to quickly forget the man you love. Still, he occupied an important place in your life, you spent a lot of time with him, and it doesn’t go away that easily. There will be some negative feelings, and trying to forget them or push them away is pointless, and maybe even harmful.

If you see that a man does not love you, do not try to prolong the relationship. Sooner or later he will tear them apart himself, so it is better to do it first. This way, at least you won’t feel abandoned, and this will only add to your suffering, because in addition to unhappy unrequited love, wounded pride will also be added.

Try to admit that your relationship is hopeless. The longer this person is around, the more you will become immersed in your love and yearn for him. Accordingly, the more painful it will be for you later. It’s okay that it won’t be easy for you to realize all this - feel this pain, cry, grieve. Grief is the beginning of tearing away.

Focus on negative aspects of his character or appearance

It has its flaws. Falling in love blinds you; you ignore everything that an objective person would not like, from small errors in behavior to significant character flaws. It's time to open your eyes to some negative qualities to balance out his positive traits. Start actively looking for and noticing all its shortcomings. Perhaps he constantly interrupts everyone, dresses tastelessly, is rude to the wait staff at your favorite cafe, listens to terrible music, shows complete disrespect for your value system, or, finally, his hands are always wet and sticky - isn’t that disgusting?!

Collect as many unpleasant emotions towards your man as possible into your “piggy bank”. Write them down. Make a list as long as something comes to your mind, trying to get out all the ins and outs of your loved one. This will help kill the idealized vision of a man that has possessed you until now. Learn to look at it critically.

Get rid of his gifts

You have a whole collection of movie tickets you went to together, napkins from cafes where you spent time on rainy evenings, yellow leaves from his favorite park, and so on. And then there’s this teddy bear he got for his birthday. And whole kilometers of your correspondence in your email inbox. Get rid of it.

Make room in your life for new relationships. If you sit and sigh over photographs of your ex-lover, you will not be able to forget and stop loving him.

Talk to others

Now is not the time to think that you are complaining or annoying your friends - talking about your loss helps make it conscious. Tell them how bad you feel and what you are missing after the breakup.

Just don't shout about your pain to everyone. Choose a circle of people whom you will initiate into the changes that have occurred in your personal life, based on the principle of “do no harm.” Relatives will try to express sympathy and provide support, but colleagues at work may disapprove of such frankness. Therefore, limit the circle of people with whom you talk about your trouble.

In psychology, there is a method by which you can talk about your pain until you want to stop talking about the same thing for the hundredth time.

This method is very suitable even for those who are used to avoiding the intrusion of strangers into their lives: by telling the first person you meet about your drama (provided they agree to listen), you do not risk that it will be made public. If even such contact seems too personal, call the helpline. At some point, you will feel that you have no strength left to keep repeating the same things for the tenth round, and you are tired of listening to advice on how to forget your loved one.

Find your strengths

You shouldn’t be tormented by thoughts that you did something wrong and that in some ways you turned out to be too bad, uninteresting, ugly, fat, since your ex left you. This will only make you more depressed. Decide for yourself: we broke up not because someone is better and someone is worse, but because we are not meant for each other.

The next thing you should do is take a piece of paper and write down all your best features on it. Describe both the strengths of your character and the advantages of your appearance. Try to keep this list as long as possible. Place or hang it in the most visible place and re-read it every time you see it. Keep adding to the list as new facts about your attractiveness come to mind.

As you re-read and fill out this page, you will stop looking for flaws in yourself and begin to believe that you are an interesting, unique and attractive woman who deserves happiness. So, you will quickly stop being sad and turn into a positive person.

Laughter and tears

Laughter heals, this has long been proven. Therefore, try to go where the atmosphere of fun prevails, and try to create such a mood yourself. For example, watch humorous programs and good comedies, listen only to incendiary, cheerful music, read columns with jokes in magazines and newspapers.

Crying is also useful, especially at first. We feel better after we cry. There is much evidence of the healing power of tears. Some of them were discovered and described by the American biochemist William Frey, who led a group studying this phenomenon for fifteen years. One of his conclusions is that emotional tears (compared to tears from irritation of the mucous membranes of the eyes, such as when you cut an onion) contain toxic waste from biochemical processes occurring in the body. Crying removes toxic substances and relieves emotional stress. So grab plenty of handkerchiefs and cry to your heart's content.

Avoid meetings and any reminders

If, when listening to some music or song, you have associations with it, stop playing that music. If in some places you are likely to meet your ex, stop appearing there; If you have mutual friends, then during the period of emotional healing, try to communicate with those people who know nothing about him.

If you cannot avoid meeting and still continue to cross paths with him (for example, you study or work together), stop communicating with this person. Listen to music on headphones to ignore the usual timbre of his voice, have lunch somewhere else, take new routes to work or school. Try not to create preconditions for an outburst of new emotions, because they will only delay your healing from unrequited love.

Get busy

Find ways to keep yourself and your mind occupied to keep you away from thoughts and memories that may be upsetting you.

You can't force yourself not to think at all, so just occupy your mind with thoughts about something else. Call a friend and chat about a pleasant topic that does not concern your feelings for the man you are trying to forget. Read an interesting book. Watch a good movie, always funny (melodrama will only disturb your own feelings). Work in the garden or take a walk in the park. Start learning a foreign language. Do whatever you might like to do to keep your brain busy and keep you from feeling sad! The less you think about this person, the easier it will be for you.

An outlet for feelings

When the first sadness passes, you will most likely become aggressive. The feeling is quite natural and understandable. Anger should not be held in, although it seems that it is not good to be angry with people. Remember, you have the right to be aggressive. You can yell at an empty chair, write an angry letter to your “ex” and burn or destroy any of his things that remain with you. You can even call him and say nasty things - only when sober, otherwise it will not be an expression of emotions, but the ravings of a drunk woman.

In general, you should not tighten your emotions into a tight corset, because they will still break out, perhaps in the form of neurotic symptoms, psychosomatic disorders and problems in communicating with men. There is one good psychological exercise - living your feelings and merging with them. Let your emotions inside, become aware of them and bring yourself to white heat. After that, ask the question: “What do you want now?” You may have a desire to break or destroy something - do not restrain it. Pound a pillow, tear paper or fabric, break dishes, shout obscenities - just hide valuables in advance.

Gradually, the emotional intensity will subside. The result of the exercise according to the “body - emotions - mind” scheme should be apathy and reluctance to move, “cotton” muscles, devastation inside the soul and in the head. You should not feel like walking or talking, as if everything from inside had been sucked out with a vacuum cleaner. However, it can be different: all sorts of thoughts will enter your head, but your body will remain tense. Don’t be afraid of this; sometimes the exercise doesn’t work out the first time. Repeat it after some time and you will achieve your goal.

Take the first steps beyond your comfort zone

Psychological research shows that in order to break old habits and replace them with others, you need to do something new. For example, you can go on vacation or even just start going to work along a different, previously unfamiliar route. If you can't make any big changes in your life, then just start with small changes every day.

Visit a part of your city that you have never been to before. Go with your friends to a new cafe. Join a hobby club and make new acquaintances and new friends. Take up a new hobby - the possibilities are endless.

Book of Happiness

There is a good psychological technique that helps you quickly forget a loved one. You need to start a “Book of Happiness” - a notebook or notepad, where each page is dedicated to a specific day of the week. In the headings of each of these pages, write the phrase “Happiness today,” and every evening, write down everything that brought even the slightest joy, any little things of the past day. It could be a funny dog ​​on the street, a beautiful handbag in a store window, the smile of a passerby, blooming flowers, and so on. After a dozen pages have been covered with similar examples of “happiness,” the psyche will begin to focus on joyful events, and trouble will recede.

Take care of yourself

It is very important to pay close attention to your appearance during this period. After all, your former lover is not the only one on earth, but you are now free, and the time is coming to look for another prince. We update our wardrobe as much as possible, get a new hairstyle and smile at our prettier reflection in the mirror every day. A smile will sooner or later act as an antidepressant, and new strength to act will appear. Life will begin to boil and sparkle again with all its colors; there will be no place left for despondency in it. You will understand that parting with your loved one is not the end. They are rather the beginning. The beginning of a new, happy stage.

If you love a married man

One of the reasons why you should break up, even if you haven't ended the relationship yet, is because of the family ties that bind the man. And not with you. If you understand that you need to break up, but don’t dare, or maybe you don’t want to listen to anyone and continue to love, hoping for the best, there are at least eight reasons why you shouldn’t continue such a relationship.

Eight reasons to forget a married man

He will not be only with you in the future. A man who feels unhappy in his marriage would have left his wife long ago. He is inspired by your love and excited by the newness he has found in his relationship with you. He may even say, “I have never felt as happy as I do with you! I’m ready to spend my whole life with you!” But these words do not mean anything - he does not take on any obligations to you by saying this. Think: if he wants to spend his whole life with you, then why is he rushing to his family again?

The fact that he cheats on his wife shows his inability to deal with unpleasant situations where decisiveness and honesty are required. This person will resort to finding roundabout ways even when problems arise in your relationship with him.

Constantly hiding is a tiring task. The need to keep a relationship secret can “attack” your self-esteem; In addition, you lose the opportunity to experience many aspects of a happy relationship. Loving people who freely and openly demonstrate their love to the whole world are filled with the inner light of happiness. And each of them can, without any reservations, be proud of those who walk through life next to them.

He eats two cakes at once, as the English would say. He has a legal marital relationship that he does not need to hide and in which he can feel all the joys of living together. He also has extramarital relationships that help compensate for everything that he lacks in his marriage. How offensive it must be for a woman who loves a married man: he gets the best of both relationships and is satisfied, but she spends almost all her time alone and waiting for rare (and not always happy!) moments of communication.

Is it possible to love a man who treats his wife with such disrespect? He deceives her, betrays her, cheats on her. It is unlikely that such a person can be called decent. And you shouldn’t believe all his excuses. He, of course, will give you a thousand reasons why he cannot leave his wife, almost glowing with pride in his “decency.” The point is not only that these reasons are far-fetched; and also that he is deceiving both his wife and you. He gets pleasure from two sources, making two women suffer at once.

Whether you like it or not, you are an accomplice to a crime against marriage: the betrayal of a man who neglects his duty and betrays his wife's trust. Not to mention the fact that he causes mental trauma to children and loses authority in their eyes. It's hard to parent when you're not seen as a role model!

A boomerang of guilt may overtake you. Many men (and women) are unable to accept responsibility for their deceitful actions. A person is designed this way; it is easier for him to blame someone for his mistakes than to accept well-deserved shame. If your man is caught red-handed, don't be surprised when he tries to shift all the responsibility onto you. And then prove to anyone: they say, you didn’t know that he was still sleeping with his wife and that she, it turns out, is not a bitch, but a worthy woman. The man will quickly be forgiven for his “prank”, and in the eyes of people you will remain an insidious homewrecker who tried to break up the family and take away their support and breadwinner from the wife and children.

You waste time and miss the opportunity to be happy with another man, and often the opportunity to have a child. You can wait endlessly for him to break off relations with his wife and tell you “I love you” at the registry office on a legal basis; but the fact that this has not yet happened speaks eloquently for itself.

Time is too valuable to be wasted. Even if you are not comfortable being just a mistress, a relationship with a married man can last a very long time. When women who were in such relationships nevertheless decided to break them off, they regretted precisely the wasted time.

If you realize everything we just told you about, this can be a good impetus to forget the man, even if you love him. And then it will be easier to start implementing your plans.

What movies to watch

Take a blanket, sit comfortably on the sofa, pour hot tea or wine. These films treat no worse than qualified psychologists:

• "She";
• "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind";
• "Be my boyfriend for 5 minutes";
• "Celeste and Jesse Forever"
• "Ruby Sparks";
• "Train to Darjeeling"

If you are a reader, this list is for you:

• Yulia Rubleva “The Girl and the Desert”;
• Maria Metlitskaya “After Betrayal”;
• Frederic Beigbeder “Love lives for three years”;
• Ekaterina Mikhailova “I’m alone at home, or Vasilisa’s Spindle”;
• John Gray, Healing the Heart.

Lectures by Ruslan Narushevich, a specialist in the field of psychology of interpersonal relationships, teach not only how to painlessly experience a breakup, but how to be happy without men. According to the psychologist, this skill leads to the emergence of healthy, strong relationships that end in marriage.

Life goes on

After some time, you will remember this parting with ease and learn to approach such things philosophically. It is important not to allow circumstances to take over and to constantly remember that the level of happiness should not depend on the presence of this or that man in your life.

Discussion 8

What's in the article:

Today the site Koshechka.ru will come to the aid of those who have suffered from unhappy love. Sleepless nights, rage and despair, depression and chaos in thoughts, reluctance to communicate with people - this is a spectrum of emotions that is guaranteed to a woman who has experienced a breakup with a loved one.

It’s only natural that you want to know how to painlessly overcome this life test? In this article, you will not only find the answer to the question: “How to forget the person you love,” but you will also learn some great techniques that will help you cope with this problem.

How to avoid becoming a victim

Breaking up with the person you love is a shock, which, if nothing is done, can become a serious life test and even cause irreparable damage to your psyche.

There is an opinion that a woman who is abandoned by her beloved man is a victim. And, usually, this victim experiences very severe mental pain and suffering. Trying on the image of a victim or “hanging” in this state for a long time is like death. What should you do, and what should be the first steps in order to forget the guy who left you as soon as possible?

Remember, a woman is a strong personality! Treat this life challenge as an opportunity to improve yourself and change your life for the better. No one argues that it is very difficult to forget a loved one forever. However, it is possible!

Here a special pattern of behavior will come to your aid, developed by psychologists based on the advice of women who managed to forget their loved one forever after breaking up and turn this situation to their advantage.

Three main steps

The process of returning to normal life after a breakup requires some time and effort on your part.

The very first step on the path to healing is realizing that the relationship is over! To do this, psychologists advise stopping all kinds of thoughts on the topic: “what would happen if I called him, offered to meet him, or accidentally saw him on the street”... It is strictly forbidden to think through all sorts of variations in the development of your relationship. You broke up, and you can’t change anything alone!

Sometimes the realization of an irrevocable and final separation can be accompanied by hysterics, tears and screams. There is nothing wrong with this if your friend listens and supports you, but not your ex-boyfriend. The separation from him has already happened; You just need to forget all this as soon as possible!

After the storm subsides, move on to the second step: raising your self-esteem. Often, after the guy you love leaves, a woman’s self-esteem plummets. It is easier for some women to accept that they are not beautiful, hysterical, or not such good housewives, than to realize the truth that the relationship ended due to the disappearance of romantic feelings.

How to increase self-esteem? There is nothing complicated here, you just need to take care of yourself... advises: start playing sports, sign up for dancing or a foreign language course, learn to knit or bake delicious cakes. Choose an activity you like and spend your free time on yourself, on developing yourself as a person.

The third step is the most important. To forget your loved one forever, you need to try to distance yourself from him as much as possible.

Follow the four "Don'ts" exactly and you will easily overcome this step.

1. Follow his life by spying on him on social networks;
2. Call him even if you just want to wish him a happy birthday;
3. Find out about it from mutual friends;
4. Set up “random” meetings with him.

Following these points will help you painlessly and quickly survive the separation from the person you still love.

If you are still thinking about how to forget your loved one, take these three simple steps and start taking action immediately.

How to look at life in a new way

So, you are on the path of healing and you are following all three steps exactly to forget your loved one forever. Soon you will feel much better emotionally, but thoughts about your ex-boyfriend will still return to you for some time.

How to forget a loved one if thoughts about him haunt you? Psychologists say that it is easier to escape from obsessive thoughts in the company of your friends. To remove sad thoughts about your former relationship, visit: exhibitions, theaters, corporate events, or just walk more in the fresh air. There is one rule here: all the places you will visit must be new and interesting to you. It is prohibited to go where you vacationed with your former loved one!

To forget your old love forever, focus on something else. Psychologists advise keeping a “Diary of Happy Events.” Every evening you will have to write down in this treasured notebook what good things happened to you during the day. It could be a meeting with a childhood friend, a bright flower in your garden, or just the smile of a passerby. This psychological technique will help you tune in to look for the positive in your life and switch from bad to good.

A gift to yourself can serve as an excellent incentive to forget your ex-boyfriend forever. Celebrate three days or a week without him and treat yourself to something delicious to celebrate. This method helps at the initial stage of getting rid of past love. Over time, you will stop counting the days without him and begin to enjoy life again.

Should I look for new love?

Wondering how to forget a loved one forever, many girls do not find the best way to build a new relationship. There is, of course, nothing wrong with this, however, you shouldn’t rush headlong into the pool. New relationships need to be built on mutual feelings, and not on the fear of being lonely.

In this case, everything is individual: if you easily meet new people, then light flirting will only benefit you, and if you are not comfortable in the company of strangers, it is easier to spend your free time on an activity that will help you get distracted.

In any case, you cannot isolate yourself. Feel free to communicate with men, but at the same time simply maintain an acceptable distance for you.

Secret tricks of psychologists

To forget your loved one as quickly as possible with minimal damage to yourself, use the secret advice of psychologists:

1. Don't you dare feel sorry for yourself! You have lost a relationship in which there was no love!
2. Hate is not a jilted girl's best friend. Hatred only takes away psychological strength, forcing you to remember your former loved one again and again. Your task is to forget him as quickly as possible.
3. Don't try to understand the motive of his action. You still won't be able to read his thoughts and find out the truth. Leave everything as it is.
4. Stop having mental dialogues with your ex-boyfriend. His phrases are just your thoughts that have nothing to do with the real state of affairs.
5. Give up all illusions that your loved one will return. Even if this happens, you will build a new relationship with him, and forget about the old ones.
6. If you suffered financially after a breakup, consult a lawyer who will tell you a way out of the situation, referring to the law.

If, after following all the recommendations given in the article, you cannot get rid of mental suffering and are still thinking about how to forget the guy you love, if your condition is only getting worse and thoughts of suicide appear, you urgently need help from specialists.

And remember, life does not end with the end of a relationship! The time will come and you will definitely meet a new love, and your current experiences will seem empty and meaningless to you.