Comic horoscope for March 8 for women.

People in Russia know how to have fun. When we celebrate any holiday with a feast, we toast “to health and happiness,” often repeating ourselves even in our most sincere wishes. Comparing toasts on March 8, made in one company with holiday wishes, said in a completely different group, we, to our surprise, notice that when congratulating completely different people, we say the same words! How to avoid such “sameness”? How to make an unusual toast to your colleagues that is unlike any other? How to please women with good humor, a joke, how to express words of approval to her briefly and cheerfully? In our selection, we have collected examples and ideas of successful comic toasts pronounced on International Women's Day.

Cool short toasts to women on March 8 - Ideas for small funny toasts

Having gathered at the table on March 8, those present always congratulate the women, accompanying each congratulation with a toast. If you want to avoid banal lists of wishes for “health, happiness and long life,” change the tactics of your approach to creating the toast itself. As you raise a glass in honor of the women (or one of them) gathered, name the qualities for which you appreciate them. Don’t set yourself the task of “announcing the list” - be concise. Remember that several guests are waiting for the end of your toast - respect their time and patience.

Ideas for short, funny toasts to women on March 8

When making a toast to women on March 8, begin your congratulations with a short story, the end of which should always be unexpected and relate to the qualities of the person in whose honor the table congratulations are said. You need to speak briefly, respecting those gathered at the table and leaving time for other men to express their wishes to the ladies. The toast can be pronounced either in prose, in the form of a parable or fable, or in verse, a short, funny rhyme. There will probably be a poet at your table who wants to dedicate his short poem to women. Such congratulations and toasts are very much appreciated in any company.

And here it is March 8th again!
What to wish? Love again?
More men again?
Lots of gifts and flowers?
Or maybe a lot of children
And a hundred most wonderful friends?
And I don't need plagiarism!
And I would be glad to wish you
Lose your last money
And be late for the bus,
But instead find
There are well... 3 million draws!

An armed woman is the one
to whom the man gave his weapon
for the opportunity to see her unarmed.
For unarmed women
striking armed men!!

The crazy woman is the one
which many are crazy about.
For crazy women!

Why do eagles fly in the clouds?
They like it there.
Why do fish swim in water?
She lives there.
Why do we all love... (name)?
Because she is a beautiful woman
and a wonderful person.
Let's drink to her!

Cool toasts to female colleagues on March 8 - Parables about a woman in prose and poems with humor

When starting to make a toast to your female colleagues at a corporate party, do not repeat the mistake of most people who begin their speech by listing wishes for goodness, love, health... Let the first lines of the toast sound unexpected. Since March 8 is a fun holiday, toasts can be humorous. Do you like congratulations in verse? Great - find a few short, funny quatrains dedicated to women in advance, and read them every time it’s your turn to make a toast.

Colleague, let me congratulate you
Happy beautiful and spring Women's Day!
I want to say, there is no need to lie here,
May happiness be in your nest!
May you be protected every day
Love, hope, faith and family!
Problems quickly disappear on their own
And true friends will be nearby!

One day a man appeared to God and prayed:

Create a woman for me!

God took a little sunlight, a little moonlight, added to them the meekness of a dove, the beauty of a swan, the lightness of the breeze, the fluffiness of the first snow, the purity of the spring sky. After thinking a little, I added the magpie's talkativeness, the volume of a thunderstorm in early May and the unrestrainedness of the waterfall.

And out of this whole explosive mixture came a beautiful woman. God breathed life into her and gave her to the man with the words: “Take it and suffer!”

Toast to women: “Let’s drink to the wonderful explosive mixture whose name is Woman!”

There are different women, Like wines, sparkling, White or red, Fermenting and sparkling. Dessert wines, fortified, Or sweet liqueurs, They can be rounded, And vice versa - smooth. They are like ice, And they are like honey... Let's drink to all of you, such different women!

Examples of cool toasts to female colleagues - Congratulations in verse and prose on March 8

Raising a glass to women on March 8, say a small toast in honor of the beautiful ladies. Let it be a joke or a small funny story, somehow connected with the lady - the recipient of your congratulations. If you are congratulating all your female colleagues, wish them all successful career growth and prosperity in funny poems or a few funny lines of prose. Try not to say famous jokes and anecdotes “with a beard” - your congratulations should be fresh, witty and kind.

March 8th is the holiday
Which is full of joyful moments,
Beautiful women and flowers,
Perfume, smiles, compliments!
Our friendly team welcomes you
Congratulations on this Spring Day!
Let life give only positive things
And it lifts your spirits!

I want to congratulate you with all my heart
Happy International Women's Day!
Have some more fun
A gentle joke, but with fire!
I wish you in the sea of ​​flowers
Can't find your bed.
With your loved one soon
You'll have until the morning to crush the flowers!
And the soul's path from pleasures
Yells like a skinny cat in March!
I wish you new sensations -
March 8th, all year round

A little boy asked his mother: “Why are you crying?” - Because I am a woman. - I don't understand! Mom hugged him and said: “You will never understand this”... So let’s drink to mutual understanding!

Comical short toasts for March 8th - Cheerful congratulations to women at the table

You already know that you are definitely invited to a banquet or gala dinner in honor of March 8, but you have no idea how you will congratulate the heroes of the occasion? It doesn’t matter - on our page you will find a variety of humorous and serious short toasts in honor of women. They say the best jokes and impromptu ones are taught and carefully rehearsed in advance. Do this too - rewrite or retype the words of cheerful toasts and congratulations, so that you can then read them by heart to the women gathered at the festive table in honor of International Women's Day.

Ideas for short comic toasts to women in honor of March 8th

No matter how modestly and inconspicuously you behave at the festive table in honor of March 8th, you will definitely be noticed and asked to also join in the general congratulations by making a toast dedicated to the assembled ladies. In order not to get into trouble and not to blush and turn pale, denying the “match,” learn in advance several short comic toasts about International Women’s Day and women and show off your wit!

Far away in the mountains lived warring tribes
giant eagles and golden eagles.
And they had a talisman - a necklace of fabulous beauty,
for which they constantly fought.
And then during one battle the necklace broke,
the beads scattered all over the world,
and from them came the feminine gender.
So let's drink to the pearls,
who have gathered at this table.

The perfect woman is the one who is difficult
reproach for wanting to look better,
than she really is.
For impeccable women!

Women achieve more with tears
than men with intelligence. So let's drink to smart women who always know
when you need to shed a tear!

Short toasts for March 8 - Holiday greetings to beautiful ladies

When making a toast in honor of the beautiful ladies who become simply delightful every March 8th, talk about the best spiritual qualities of the women present at the table. Of course, there is no need to list all the positive features of the fair half of humanity - pay attention to not the most noticeable of them.

Ideas for short toasts for beautiful ladies on March 8th

Every toast in honor of a woman is, in essence, a compliment to a beautiful lady. When pronouncing such wishes and congratulations at the table, try not to overdo it; Please the woman with kind words, remaining sincere and avoiding flattery. Short toasts spoken from the heart sound best, rather than long ornate phrases often read from a piece of paper.

For the sun to shine, the sky to turn blue, the roses to bloom,
and the women were wonderful!

The taste of life is on a woman's lips.
The feeling of life is in the arms of a woman.
To the women who represent the whole world to us.
Here's to the winners!

Everyone around me thinks too much
about maintaining decency.
To hell with conventions.
For the beautiful... (name), which I like!

If you have already been invited to a holiday in honor of International Women's Day, and you are not yet ready to make toasts at the table on March 8, our examples of the best short wishes and congratulations to beautiful ladies will help you in this situation. Don’t forget - when delivering congratulations and compliments to female colleagues or ladies you know, remain sincere and be brief. What sounds best is not formal long toasts in prose, but short statements or funny poems about the fair half of humanity.

Aries.
Take a break from your problems, start preparing for the holiday - it will bring you a lot of positive emotions. And in general, this day will become extremely emotional for you. Spend time with your loved ones. Avoid aggression, communicate with people solely for pleasure. It’s not a bad day to ask for forgiveness from those who have been offended - you have a better chance of being forgiven for sure. At the end of the evening, a romantic mood will be in the air, and lonely hearts will likely begin a relationship.

Taurus.
The beginning of the day is truly auspicious. This morning - The best time to take care of yourself is to buy cosmetics or a new bottle of perfume. Gifts from men on this day will delight you beyond words. However, the day has a dual character. There is a possibility of a small quarrel, so try to avoid “sharp corners”. The stars on this day advise you to be more careful with alcoholic beverages.

Twins
Today is a great day to smooth out family conflicts. Make peace with your family and listen to them. In the first half of the day, someone close to you can give you wise and reliable advice, which will come in handy. Try not to borrow or lend to anyone today. Also, don’t get carried away with holiday shopping – buy gifts wisely. You may want to change your situation or environment, but the stars advise you to be careful when making new acquaintances.

Cancer.
Today is not the most favorable day for Cancers. Firstly, financial the situation will not improve in any way, and may even worsen for reasons beyond your control. Secondly, disappointments can also await you on the love front - so don’t get caught up in problems and you will win. At work, they may try to make you angry. Therefore, on this day, think over a strategy from the very morning and stick to it. The evening should be enjoyable.

Lion.
On this day, expect to meet new people and be sure not to lose contacts. A day of influx of emotions. Therefore, in the evening, go on a visit, to a club or bar to have fun and relax. But during the day, occupy yourself with the very things that you have been putting off for so long until “later” - today you will easily complete them.

Virgo.
In personal life, emotions are in full swing, however, it is possible that he was hit on the head. Therefore, try not to lead cute fooling into a childish quarrel. Try to be on your guard all day - be wary of new acquaintances or offers from outsiders. React to aggression from strangers with humor.

Scales.
Today Libra is advised not only to relax, but also to relax from a distance. The day is conducive to long trips. However, at the same time, you may face a difficult choice on this day. Try not to make any decisions this holiday. It is possible to improve your financial condition; the stars recommend shopping.

Scorpion.
Scorpios are more loving today than ever. Your feelings, emotions and attention will be enough not only for the whole family and your loved one, but also for ordinary acquaintances and their children with whom fate may bring you together on this day. A lot of bustle is forecast in the first half of the day, but extensive shopping is not recommended. Do not make any large purchases, do not enter into serious transactions, they can play a cruel joke on you and turn against you. Spend the evening with your loved ones.

Sagittarius.
Today, be patient and sit quietly. “My tongue is my enemy” - this is the story about you for today. Watch your language, choose your expressions, and in some places remain silent at all, because even one small misunderstanding can develop into a scandal. You may have the feeling that today everyone at once decided to provoke you, but this is not so - do not rush to conclusions. Spend the evening alone with your beloved, it will bring you a lot of good emotions.

Capricorn.
Today, be critical of yourself, do not escalate the situation. Not Plunge headlong into new offers and acquaintances, and put off your personal initiative until tomorrow. Overall, the day was quite creative and active. In the first half of the day, spend time on your own appearance. A visit to a beauty salon would be appropriate.

Aquarius.
The day is quite favorable. Promises new discoveries and impressions. If you have already planned the whole day, take someone to help you. Someone close to you. Go shopping together, choose gifts together, buy groceries together - and generally do everything together. This will greatly strengthen your relationship. Possible improvement in financial condition.

Fish.
Today, no work, just rest. Don't take on things that If you can’t do it efficiently and quickly, it’s better to meet with your friends. In my personal life, everything couldn’t be better. If you have planned shopping for this day, it will be successful, and shopping will bring joy. In the evening, you can take the initiative into your own hands and prepare a romantic dinner.

Maria Khoroneko

Women March 8
I wish you a start in life!
To start smartly
From the hip with a bold gait,
For your courage, take
Some grams... three hundred and five,
Well, so as not to fall -
Bite it all to your heart's content.
In the end I wish the ladies
Lose kilos quickly
Become slimmer than all the birches
And don’t let sclerosis torment you!

Oceans of prosperity
Fulfillment of desires,
Rivers of tenderness, love,
Fierce passion in the blood.

And good luck of the purest kind,
Like a stream, cheerful, fast,
Well, a drop of surprise -
From great luck!

Let this March day become one of the brightest and most colorful for you! I wish you the fulfillment of all your craziest and, at first glance, unrealistic desires! Let the wings of happiness behind your back give you the opportunity to fly higher and higher every day! Smile more often and charge everyone with positivity with your charming smile!

Congratulations on March 8,
Kindness, warmth with love!
Let fate put on an apron
And quietly prepares:
Two pots of prosperity
A frying pan of successful deeds,
A couple of cups of adoration
And good luck is inevitable,
Three salad bowls of luck
At breakfast, dinner and lunch,
So there was one problem -
Who to share such a buffet with!

Congratulations on March 8th
And with all my heart I wish
Remain a sweet peach
Don't turn into dried apricots.
To be in shape, not to gain weight,
Always dress fashionably.
Don't need attention
To understand men,
The best of them will get
Tumble in bed with him
And squirm with passion.
To admire each other,
Kissing, hugging.
Enjoy your life
And not need anything.
Don’t worry about trifles
And smile more often!

Let the lipstick match
Louis Vuitton handbag,
Manicure that is on trend
A fancy iPhone.

Scary hairless cat at home
Islands three times a year,
And my husband will have a yacht
Or a private jet.

In general - coolness in everything.
Happy Women's Day!
Let compliments come your way
They pour in from all sides.

Let the soul sing like a nightingale,
Let a bright flower bloom in it!
May your wonderful life
Everything will be as your heart desires!

I wish to be loved and to love,
Making your dreams come true is easy and simple,
Always give positivity with a smile
And move forward towards the stars!

Let Women's Day
Never ends
Like in a dream
All dreams come true.

Joy, flowers,
Many different surprises
Coffee in bed
Fulfilling whims.

Live romantically
Don't need anything
In the joys of life,
How to swim in the sea.

Women's holiday is at the doorstep,
Don't get drunk, for God's sake!
Have fun, dance, score
For problems and friends,
Those who say: “Kirdyk,
You’re a woman, not a man!”
You are not a woman, you are a lady!
Let your dreams come true
Easy life, strong will
And abundant love to you!

What does a woman need to be happy?
Can't describe it with a pen!
Love, health, happiness, money
Smart kids and a home!

Friends, of course, ugly,
Mother-in-law far away,
So that the husband is one of the patient ones,
And if anything happens, he’s out the door!

It becomes more beautiful over the years,
Lose weight by eating a whole cake at once
Don't jump to fitness,
In general, forget about the word “sport”!

And if March 8
A series of wishes came true,
What kind of life would our women have?
Then it has come, gentlemen!

Hands are untied, bows are tied,
Bright make-up, manicure, top class!
Requires a heart of love and romance,
Congratulations on March 8th now.

Spin us today and spin us,
We will fulfill all wishes at once.
Teach us, manage, endure.
We can’t imagine how we would live without you.

We want to wish you, forever young,
To put smiles on faces.
So that crazy ideas come to mind,
So that when washing the laundry does not fade.

Unlimited sales and decent press,
The legs and butt were like nuts!
The limit on the “gold” card is unlimited,
To be praised always and in front of everyone!

The fur coat, as usual, is sable, mink.
Falcon Supernova and Jaguar.
So that you buy new things every day,
And they said: “Look, superstar!”

On vacation, fly to warm, distant lands,
And so that the tan goes on evenly.
The feelings should be strong and crystalline.
The sky is in diamonds and the prince is at your feet.

I would like to bring to your attention comic predictions for women who may turn 8 on March 8th. Whatever the hell, what if it turns out to be true?

One crazy prophet decided to ruin your mood.

His worthless forecast is already being discussed on major portals.

* And if you gave your beloved a razor as a gift on February 23, then on March 8 you will receive 1 flower.

Nail predicts that overly temperamental Scorpios will meet their soulmate on International Women's Day.

* Unlucky for Libra. They keep changing their minds and doubting many things.

On March 8, their husband will buy himself a bottle of vodka and give his wife a herring tail. Instead of a bouquet of flowers and perfume, he will ask you to bake pies.

The fortuneteller Muslim composed comic congratulations to women. Surely there will be a man who will use them.

* My beloved woman, you are so elegant today. Prepare the salad and set the table, and this bouquet is deservedly yours.

* On March 8, I am a fakir, I will arrange a noisy feast for you. And I will predict your fate, dear, you will be forever young.

* When March 8 comes, I will be lucky in many ways. You fry the chicken and put out the bottle. Dress up like a fairy, blushing like a girl. I'll say a toast, finish the salad, and take off your brand new robe.

* I will predict love to you until the grave, so that you will always be healthy. She raised children, didn’t indulge, and didn’t ask for many gifts. There's a cake and a kiss waiting for you, so don't spoil me, Marusya.

* Oh, I’ll make fun of you, I’ll go home at midnight. On March 8th I will sober up, I’m going crazy from the alluring forms. Then we will indulge in sweetness, you will be in my complete power. And then you can fall asleep with your nose buried in your chest.

These are not even comic predictions, but poetic congratulations to beloved women on the international day of March 8th.

Use with caution. Otherwise he won’t understand it well and will be offended. And I will remain guilty.

The material was prepared by me, Edwin Vostryakovsky.

Dear friends, today we have selected funny congratulations for you on March 8, in verse, with which you can congratulate the women dear to you. We are sure that they will appreciate your humor and will remember your congratulations for a long time.

You can also send an original congratulation in the form of a call directly to your mobile phone, for example, congratulations on the eighth of March in the voice of Vladimir Putin:

Or simply choose your favorite greeting from the list below and send it to social media. networks or by phone:

Funny congratulations on March 8

Here it is, March 8th,
The Women's Day has arrived:
Instead of coffee - washing, frying,
Instead of tea - validol.

Instead of a fur coat - again a postcard,
Not a necklace - a frying pan!
Our futile attempts
Never please you

They won't justify themselves.
Women, forgive us!
Congratulations again with all our hearts
Happy Women's Day!

I'll start with congratulations.
I wish you more money
So that they don't fuck our brains out.
And keep quiet so they can.

You should go to the sea in the summer,
So that the men can live in freedom.
And on the way back,
You will fall into the damn halls.

To those who hear this verse,
Raise a terrible roar and scream.
Although there is a lot of pepper in it,
But I congratulated you from the heart!

On this day, March 8
I wish you a card!
Only the map is not simple,
And a gold credit card!

In addition to her - a man
In a beautiful car.
If this idiot asks you to marry,
Don't waste your woman's years
Answer “yes” quickly!
This is my wish.

And thanks for your attention...

Hello! And immediately congratulations!
On Women's Day I wish you
Good luck, happiness and goodness,
May you be healthy

Smiled and blossomed more often
You are here for many, many years.
And may all your dreams come true,
After all, you deserve it!

To make a woman shine
Never lost heart
And lived so that without annoyance,
Need sex and chocolate.

Well, thirdly, like doping,
She needs shopping for her soul.
Congratulations on March 8th!
I wish you all this!

Congratulations on March 8th
And I wish you a raspberry life:
Fur coats, dresses, diamonds
And a tolerant man.

To behave calmly
He, wandering around the shops,
To feed only in restaurants
And he only drove in limousines.

Beloved, beautiful, goddesses!
This is the only name we will call you from now on!
Having seen beauties in such a cluster,
We will fall on our knees before you.

We honor you, loving you with all our hearts,
Almost like idolizing a creator!
May you never find reasons
You offend you loving men!

I secretly, so that no one knows,
I chose a gift for you.
Of course, my wife had to too.
But it’s more expensive for you!

Let there be a king in life,
Horse, treasury, half the kingdom.
I wish to be happy
This day is March 8th.

I wish you to live with a sparkle,
To be so shiny
Definitely stay
Cool, real.

I wish it would end soon, this terrible day,
Where children did not want to be obedient,
Where with every next minute
The husband was moving away from his goal.

And let everything be as before: the wife sews, cooks,
It washes and cleans, and washes, and rubs.
And the husband is on the sofa - he feels calmer there.
But everything will happen again in a year.

I want to congratulate you with all my heart
Have some more fun
A gentle joke, but with fire!

I wish you in the sea of ​​flowers
Can't find your bed.
With your loved one soon
You'll have until the morning to crush the flowers!

And let the soul from pleasures
Yells like a skinny cat in March!
I wish you new sensations -
March 8th, all year round!

Thank you for your kindness
For your friendship, devotion and even
For an extra non-working day in a year
Thank you, you are our sorceresses!

March 8 is a wonderful day!
Are you still dozing, dear friend?
It's time, beauty, get up!
I made tea with lemon

Fried a fabulous omelette,
And also a festive bouquet
Already managed to buy it in the morning,
Get up, darling, it's time!

Hello! And immediately congratulations!
On Women's Day I wish you
Good luck, happiness and goodness,
May you be healthy

Smiled and blossomed more often
You are here for many, many years.
And may all your dreams come true,
After all, you deserve it!

Congratulations on March 8th with humor, funny

Hello my love, hello!
Today is the day of flowers, sweets,
That day when you are too lazy to work,
In two words: Women's Day!

Let sadness not come to you,
But only joy. Well, let it be
Your life will be happy.
Happy Eighth to you, my love!

We have been preparing for the holiday for a long time,
We bought cognac and wine.
We bought fruit for dessert
Other delicious foods.

We came running in a hurry in the morning
And everything was gracefully shredded
And now, right here, now
We congratulate you together.
Happy March 8th!

I broke the dishes for you
I poured coffee all over the stove.
Socks are not everywhere today -
There are some lying around in one corner.

I watered the laundry, stroked the flowers,
I washed the cat in the machine.
I fixed everything and got everything set up
(Well, maybe I lied a little).

No words needed, I know everything myself:
Your eyes are burning with fire!
Everything for you today, bunny!
Happy International Women's Day!

Our dear creatures!
Which syllable is better to choose?
So that your feelings and desires
Bring the whole stream down on you!

There is nothing more beautiful in the world
Those beautiful feminine features
What lies in the endless
Deepest of your hearts!

Love, tenderness and affection,
Grace of beauty -
These are the symbols of female power,
Where are we all slaves before you!

So let it last for many years
This power will be consolidated!
Believe me, this is where we are
We won’t take it away from you!

Always be beautiful and carefree,
To hell with all household chores,
“Oh, what a woman passed!”

And don’t forget about makeup, of course.
Even if you're going home
So that every man he meets thinks:
“Oh, what a lady, my God!”

And one more well-known piece of advice:
Sometimes have a drink,
So that every man he meets thinks:
“Oh, what a woman, damn it!”

Congratulations on March 8!
Don't make any noise at home today.
I want to have a great time
And fuck myself to my heart's content.

It's already March Eighth,
Your time has come
And as a gift
Take my words:

I want to be playful
But moderately groovy,
And most importantly - happy,
And think with your head.

Always extravagant
Without life's problems,
A little treacherous
Just not quite.

Love and be loved
After all, it’s not too lazy to receive
From every man
A gift on this day!

You can find even more congratulations by clicking on this link: