Why do we need children? Reflections of a psychologist on parental motivation. Why are children needed? Complete family

Why does a child need a family?

Answers:

Why do you need a family? Asking yourself why you need a family, first of all, answer honestly to yourself: are you satisfied with your current life when you come home from work to an empty apartment in which children's laughter and crying are not heard? Most likely, your answer will be negative. If a really pure relationship is established between two people and a bright feeling arises between them, which is called “love”, they will never have questions about whether to start a family or not. Women who want to give birth to a child exclusively for themselves should think about Will their child be comfortable living only with his mother, and see his father several times a month, or in general, only on major holidays? There is a lot of controversy about whether a child needs a family, but every professional psychologist claims that a child can grow up as a full-fledged personality only in a family where there is both a father and a mother. Nothing else is given, because human nature is arranged in such a way that he needs the communication and care of both parents. Boys who love their mothers, but mothers are not able to teach them what their father can give them, suffer especially without a father. Thus, questions as to whether a child needs a family should not arise a priori. As practice shows, a man needs a family, and not only because someone has to cook breakfast or dinner for him. First of all, a respectable man cannot be imagined without a family. Despite the fact that he will reach great heights in business, refusing at one time from family relationships, he still feels like a man who has not taken place to the end, so to speak. In addition, according to psychologists, if a man refused marriage in his youth, then in middle age he regrets it. In order for a family to be happy, for healthy and sociable children to be brought up in it, family creation must be approached responsibly. And no matter at what age you decide to start a family, it is important that it is complete. Perhaps you are a schoolboy who is writing an essay today, why a family is needed, and in just a year or two you will mature in order to have your own family. Or maybe only after creating your own, reliable business, you decide that now it's time to start a family, the main thing is that you make a decision not too late.

how to say what for? every family has a father, mother, brothers or sisters) we love them very much! we turn to them for advice, they help us in everything!

Why is a family needed? Have you ever thought about such a complex and simple question at the same time?

When you are young, people around you are interested in when you will have a family, when your status has already changed - family life does not seem as colorful as you imagined ... And then you start looking for answers to the questions: “Why does a person need a family?”, “What does she give? and “Is it possible to live without a family?”.

What is family?

To find answers, it is necessary to understand what a family is.

The family is the most important social value, the main social institution, the main unit of society. The concept of "family" is multifaceted, so it is rather difficult to give it a clear definition. Different societies and cultures invest in the concept of "family" their own definitions, which depend on historical, ethnic and socio-economic conditions. In addition, the concept of “family” varies even in terms of age: for example, for an adult, a family is a small team that makes different demands and a source of satisfaction of its needs; for a child, it is the environment in which his physical, psychological, emotional and intellectual development takes place.

The socio-cultural development of our society has “given rise” to such concepts of the family as “parental couple”, “incomplete family”, and in some countries - “same-sex family”.

Thanks to the famous English sociologist Anthony Giddens, today we have a classic definition of the family. According to him, the family is a group of people connected by direct kinship (marriage) or blood ties, life, mutual assistance and mutual responsibility, where adult family members take care of children.

According to the psychological approach, a family is a set of individuals that meets four criteria:

• mental, spiritual and emotional intimacy;
• spatial and temporal limitations;
• closeness, interpersonal intimacy;
• duration of relationships, responsibilities and obligations.

The family is under state protection and has a legal status.

family signs

The family, as a social institution, is characterized by stable immanent (inalienable) features:

• union between a man and a woman;
• voluntary marriage;
• common life;
• marriage relations;
• desire for the birth, upbringing and socialization of offspring.

Family Functions

Sociologists distinguish eight main functions:

• reproductive;
• educational;
• household;
• recreational;
• emotional;
• spiritual;
• social;
• sexual and erotic.

Why does a man need a family?

We all know the expression “My home is my castle”. In any "fortress" there is a hearth, the fire of which was always supported by the Woman. So that the hearth never goes out, a man strives to find a woman who would bring care, benefit, warmth and comfort to the house.

A woman in a family should fulfill many roles - to be a Dear Friend, an inspiring Muse, a Beauty, an attractive Mistress, a Mistress, equipping life and household, an Assistant and Partner in business, and most importantly, a Mother capable of giving birth and raising common children.

Why does a woman need a family?

Every woman has similar expectations for a man. In her husband, she wants to see an interesting and good Friend, a reliable Sponsor, a Protector, with whom it is not scary to go through any difficulties and trials, the Master of the house, a strong and gentle Lover, a real Father, whom children love and respect, the Head of the family, personifying wisdom, care and power.

Why does a child need a family?

For a child, the main people in life are the parents who gave life and raised him. For a child, a family is a miniature model of the world around him, where he receives education, gets acquainted with family traditions and receives life experience.

Why does a person need a family?

It is important for everyone to have a family and a home. The family will save you from difficulties and protect you from the cruelty of the world, give warmth and tranquility, you can always find understanding and love in the family. Happy is the person who grew up in a loving and friendly family.

Why do we need a family ? In the family, a person receives support, acquires a like-minded person, a dear and beloved person who is always there, especially in difficult times; he takes your side, can appreciate the opinion, listen to tediousness.

The family is needed in order to meet loving eyes when we wake up in the morning or return in the evening. The child finds protection in the family, prepares for life and “learns to fly”.

Does a modern person need a family?

It is difficult to answer the question, does a modern person need a family? Probably needed, but most men and women are looking for in the family is not at all what their parents were looking for. Against the backdrop of endless stories of divorce and failed marriages, young people shun family relationships that require responsibility and mutual understanding. Increasingly, they are thinking about Why is a family needed? ". But the answer lies on the surface: a family is needed in order to share happiness with a loved one. To live together with him, overcome difficulties, rejoice in successes, analyze defeats, give birth and raise children - this is precisely the simple human happiness, the concept of which in the modern world is replaced by money, a career, free sex ...

Our contemporaries are looking for solutions to various problems in marriage, raise their status or get rid of complexes, while forgetting that the family is hard work, without holidays, weekends and vacations.

Family is a way of life, our creation, from which we enjoy and share it with the dearest people. The family is a project where love, joy and happiness reign. Think, if there were no family, could we feel the fullness of human happiness?

How many children should be in a family for everyone to be happy? Unfortunately, there is no single answer to this question. To solve such a dilemma for yourself, take into account all the life circumstances, which will be discussed below.

Flowers of life

Why are children needed? Perhaps, before a planned pregnancy, you should first of all ask yourself this question. Many women look back at relatives and others, blindly follow public opinion, or even deliberately bring their lives in line with outdated stereotypes. They have children simply because “it’s necessary”, without even thinking about how much physical and emotional strength they will have to invest in a child in the future, not to mention finances. Couples who, for whatever reason, are in no hurry to acquire a beloved child, become a real target for close relatives and colleagues: everyone considers it their duty to ask: "When?" and remind you that time is running out, and fraught with countless risks and dangers.

From extreme to extreme

On the other hand, families with many children face a different kind of attack. Mother-heroines are often despised for a large number of "backbiters" if the family does not live well and cannot afford timely home repairs or the purchase of new children's toys. "Flowers of Life" seems to be turning from delicious chubby babies to unpaid loans, second-hand clothes, worn out shoes by someone else and cheap sweets instead of trendy chocolate eggs. People forget that a full-fledged family is a unity of different, but infinitely kindred souls, and not just a couple of wealthy or poor adults and a flock of their offspring.

Everyone chooses for himself

Recently, such a social phenomenon as childfree has become widespread - a social movement that proclaims free thinking in relation to the completeness of the family and the absence of children in it. Childfree often sincerely do not understand why children are needed, and deliberately refuse to procreate, not wanting to tie their hands and feet with the need to look after and care for a little peanut. They believe that there are already too many people on the globe, and without their contribution to the replenishment of humanity, the world will easily manage. Adherents of this approach highly value their own freedom, the ability to go anywhere and do whatever they want, to spend time as they see fit. They do not need extra obligations and senseless, in their opinion, chores. Childfree live for themselves and for a loved one.

Dads are the exact opposite of childfree. They do not even wonder why they need children, and do not dream of a child of a certain gender. They give birth to many years simply because they feel their destiny in this, because their hearts demand to give a lot of love, because in children they find solace, emotional protection from external experiences, a deep hope that everything will always be fine. Such an opinion also has every right to exist.

outside pressure

It seems society will always be unhappy. If you don't have kids, then you need to have them. If the child is alone, he really needs a brother or sister. If there are two children, then it would be good to give birth to a third and get the status of a large family in order to enjoy the appropriate social privileges. And if there are more than three children ... In the latter case, most people move from positive recommendations to negative assessments and criticism.

When the child is alone

Meanwhile, no one wonders why the couple has only one child and why the spouses are in no hurry to have many children. Often, women with a single peanut are among those who once followed the lead of relatives or public opinion and gave birth to a son or daughter just because "it's necessary." Young mothers, who were not initially ready to communicate with a small child, found themselves in a serious stressful situation, fell under the influence of postpartum depression and brought out only negative and bad impressions from their first experience of motherhood. Of course, they do not want to have more children, because they are afraid of repeating the nightmare that they have already experienced once. There is no time to sleep, no strength to clean the apartment, no patience to listen to children's cries and treat the baby for incessant colic, no money for milk formula, since breast milk either did not come, or burned out too early ... There is no desire to live. This is a typical picture of postpartum depression, guaranteed even before the moment of conception to every woman who is not mentally ready to become a mother.

No brothers or sisters

Of course, there are other reasons not to have more than one child. For some, procreation is not a priority in life: it is enough to communicate with the only, but infinitely beloved child. Someone simply cannot conceive or give birth safely and continues to struggle with a terrible diagnosis of "infertility" or an unbearable series of missed pregnancies. Gynecological diseases in women and violations of the composition of sperm in men, financial problems and uncertainty about the future, not the happiest experience of raising the first child - these are far from all the reasons to seriously ask yourself why children are needed and come to the conclusion that one single offspring. Is it worth it to condemn people who have come to this conclusion? Is it worth endlessly reminding them that it is still possible to "go for the second"?

Adopted children

The social institution of adoption can, perhaps, be considered one of the most successful. The opportunity to officially take someone else's child under your wing and raise him as your own has brought long-awaited happiness to thousands and millions of childless couples. They prefer to take newborn babies - "refuseniks" - from orphanages, so that the child does not even remember his own mother and considers adoptive parents to be blood. However, older children have a chance to find happiness in a new family. Many of them ended up in shelters after the deprivation of parental rights by single mothers. Having learned from their own experience how hard it is to live with drinking and cruel parents, these small, but already far from naive children do not always immediately attach themselves to kind and loving hearts. And yet, having seen a significant difference in attitude, they often fully return the love given to them and treat new parents much more tenderly than some youngsters with their real dad and mom. Adopted children, taken into a new family at a conscious age, remain forever grateful to those who saved them from the hardships of the orphanage. Everyone can do this good deed - to adopt a child left without parental care. But first, think: are you sure that you can give him everything that you would give to your blood child?

A few words about the meaning of life

So why do we need children? "To be"? To satisfy their own maternal and paternal instincts, laid down by nature? To grow worthy people out of them in the future? Are children thus the meaning of life?

Albert Einstein gave an amazing answer to the question "why". In his opinion, any such question can be answered as follows: a person acts one way or another only because by the corresponding deed, statement or action he creates a feeling of satisfaction for himself and for others. Indeed, let's go back to the first example. There is a social need to have a child. By giving birth to her first child, a woman satisfies, on the one hand, her own maternal instinct and follows the biologically dictated need to preserve the family, and on the other hand, satisfies the needs of society, which requires the presence of children in almost every family. Einstein's principle is easily applicable to any other situation. For what? To get a sense of satisfaction! If you need children for personal happiness, do not look back at social stereotypes - have as many as you want and can afford. If you do not need - again, do not react to the attacks and claims of others, remain childfree.

After all, it's your choice.

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Why do we need children? As a rule, we never ask ourselves this question. The more usual question is “do I want a child or not?”. Sometimes it happens that a child takes upon himself the decision to be and is born without asking our consent. When we already have a child, we do not ask why we need it, we just live and try to fulfill all our parental responsibilities to the best of our ability and in accordance with our picture of the world.

However, in my opinion, the view of a psychologist and mother, this issue is very important. At the same time, not every mother will be able to clearly answer this question, first of all, to herself.

Improve health, bind a husband (wife), separate from the family of parents, feel your adulthood and independence, show your mother (father) how to properly raise children, get a new social status of a parent - all these are quite common motivations for having a child. There is also a list of reasons accepted in society, such as: raise a helper, raise a good person, give a child an education. And also accepted in Christianity: "a woman will be saved through the birth of children."

It is sad to state this fact, but none of the listed reasons reflects the value of the child as such. The child is a means to achieve our parental goals and in this context does not already in its very design have a life of its own ...

The list of situations when the birth of a child should solve some problem of the parents can be continued for a very long time. And of course, few of us, parents, admit to ourselves that the child suffers very much from such a message in life. A child should not solve the problems of an adult, he is just a child and is simply not capable of it.

I wanted to write this article because at a certain point I felt that I caught this “why?”. Moreover, it seems to me that many parents have it (and maybe even every one), it's just that no one tells us about it. No one talks about what is the most important reason why it is worth giving birth and raising a child. After all, we were once born and brought up to solve some parental tasks. And now it is difficult for us to live our life, and we saturate it with the problems and tasks of our child, losing our life and not allowing the child to decide on his own.

If we talk about raising a child as living a certain piece of life together, we will not have excessive expectations from our child, which burden his childhood life so much. So, there will be no endless disappointments and resentments. This means that the child will be able to realize his natural potential by studying and developing himself.

This does not mean that we become passive and no longer take the child to developmental circles. No, this means that we are taking a child to a circle not in order to raise an ideal dancer and feel like an ideal mother, but in order to show the child that there is a world of dance, and if he or she likes this world, then he or she can devote part of her life to developing the ability to move to music ...

Anna Smirnova, psychologist

People have long been accustomed to living in families. Marriage unions are created for various reasons, but the most important are love and procreation. In addition, people want to gain a certain status, a sense of security and convenience of life.

And also, why do we need a family and why do people need children? Today on the site "Popular about health" we will try to find out. We learn the opinion of psychologists on this issue:

What is a family for??

Love and sexual relations

Modern families, for the most part, are based on love. People understand that they love each other, they want to live together. They hope to keep their love for many years, and in addition, to have one stable sexual partner. After all, to achieve sexual harmony, a person needs a family.

Communication and common interests

When a person decides to marry, he hopes to find in a partner a person who is close in spirit, with whom it is interesting to communicate, there are similar or similar views on life. Indeed, spiritual intimacy and mutual understanding are very important for spouses and make them happy.

The presence of common interests, hobbies gives a lot of topics for communication, brings together two people who are interested in talking to each other. Such communication enriches both, promotes personal development and intellectual growth.

Mutual understanding and support

People need families for emotional support. The feeling of mutual understanding and protection helps to feel more confident, calm, which, of course, helps to maintain the nervous and mental health of all family members.

Each of us, entering into marriage, expects to find in the person of his spouse a true friend who needs us the way we are, with all the shortcomings and virtues. Who will support in any situation, will empathize and sympathize, will share our joys and sorrows. At least, this is how many future spouses answer the question - why do a man and a woman need a family?

Convenience of life

A family man has a better established life than a bachelor. Husband and wife have household duties divided into two, organize their life in a way that suits them both. In particular, they have a common budget and decide how to allocate it. Everyone has his own area of ​​responsibility, for which he bears certain responsibilities. When living conditions are adjusted, life becomes much easier and more comfortable.

Why does a man need a family?

Every man is by nature a master and ruler. Therefore, it is very important for him to have his own house, where he will be the head. But, every house needs a "hearth", and, as you know, a woman supports it.

Therefore, a man wants to have a woman next to him - a good housewife, a good friend, a muse for inspiration, a tender lover and a caring mother of his future children. Men hope to receive warmth, care and convenience from their companion.

Why does a woman need a family?

Family expectations of the fair sex are close to those of men. Everyone wants to marry a reliable, strong and intelligent man. He must be the protector of herself and future children, with whom no trials and difficulties are terrible. Women want to see next to the head of the family, a gentle lover and a real father, whom their children will love and respect.

Why does a child need a family?

The main people in the life of every child are his parents, who gave him life. The family is a miniature model of the big world, where he receives education and life experience, learns to separate good from bad, gets acquainted with traditions, etc.

What are children for??

Very often, spouses simply answer this question: "There is no real family without children." It is so inherent in nature that a baby is born to a man and woman who live together and love each other. Therefore, most families have children, as tradition dictates.

Most often, children are born in a complete family. But, since female and male psychology are very different, the motivation for adding to the family also often differs.

For example, a woman who loves her husband and is proud of him seeks to give him a child, as this is the most beautiful thing that can be in this world. Women believe that the birth of an heir will strengthen the family, make them all happier.

Also, women realize their maternal feelings, which at some point wake up in each. With the birth of a desired baby, life takes on additional meaning.

Men, on the other hand, consider the birth of a child as the appearance of an heir, the bearer of a surname. In addition, it is necessary for self-realization and improvement of life status. After all, the father of the family means a solid, responsible person who can be trusted with any difficult business.

It is impossible not to say that in our time, many women are pursuing a career no less than men. And they decide to give birth for themselves, as they say, "To bring a glass of water to someone in old age." In this way they try to avoid lonely old age.

Each person has his own opinion, why children are needed and independently decides to acquire them or not. Most of us understand that life is not eternal and it is very important to leave a mark on the earth, your own main continuation - your children.

Most men and women with complete families say: "Children are the most precious gift from life." They all walk the road of life together, make each other happier, explore the world together, gain experience and learn from each other. The most precious thing is to hear from an adult child: “Mom and dad, I love you very much!”

For a family to be friendly and happy, for healthy, smart, hard-working children to grow up, it is important to take a responsible approach to its creation. At whatever age you make this decision, the most important thing is that the family be complete, based on love and respect.