A long-term relationship between a married woman and a married man. Advice from a psychologist on relationships with a married man

A love relationship with a married man is complex and unpredictable. An inexperienced young girl and a married lady who has a husband and children can fall in love with a married man; no one is immune from this.

What will such relationships bring? Do they have a happy continuation or do they bring destruction, pain and tears? How to build a relationship if you decide to have an affair with an unfree man?

How to build a relationship with a married man

If you fall in love with a married man and are trying to build a long-term relationship with him, you must understand that sooner or later your relationship must end.

In very rare cases, a man leaves the family; as a rule, he only promises to do this in the near future, trying to maintain and prolong his love affair with you longer.

This is male psychology - to have a family, children and a mistress on the side at the same time, which suits him. How to build a relationship with a married person correctly, and avoid mistakes, so that they bring only joy and happiness, and not disappointment?

Advice from a psychologist for women having an affair with a married man

The psychology of relationships with a married man is such that the woman initially believes that this romance will have a happy continuation with her.

Psychologists have identified three types of women who decide to invade someone else's family:

1.Lonely young ladies who failed to meet the one who would make her happy and give her love. They are sure that this particular, even if for now, someone else’s husband, is the same prince who will give up everything and be with her.

2. Independent, freedom-loving fairies who date “married men” for fun and time without trying to destroy his family.

3. Married ladies who are married did not find emotional support.

In order for the relationship to be long-lasting and you do not pretend to be a wife, but only spend time together and want to continue an easy, romantic relationship with a “married man,” listen to advice from a psychologist:

• The main advice is not to get attached to your lover, not to make joint plans, to understand that this is only a temporary hobby for both you and him;

• do not dictate your demands to your lover, let him decide when and where your dates will take place, do not impose;

• do not strain the man, do not ask unnecessary questions, do not discuss your wife, their relationship and feelings with him;

• do not try to destroy the family;

• do not let him into your personal life, do not introduce him to family and friends.

Psychology of a married man - should a woman start a relationship with a married man?

First of all, answer yourself, why would you build a relationship with a person who is married to another woman?

Think about whether it’s worth wasting your life, your precious time, and having a love affair with someone who will soon leave you. This may sound cruel, but it is the truth of life.

In very rare cases, a man leaves his wife, children, and ruins his marriage. It’s easier for him to leave his mistress.

He is afraid that his wife will find out his secret and carefully hides your relationship from her. The time you spend on him, you could spend and meet with a free man.

How to survive a breakup with a married man and move on with your life

As a rule, women sooner or later begin to understand that the relationship is reaching a dead end and they themselves want to end it and are thinking about breaking up.

It is very difficult to painlessly break a connection and survive a breakup, especially in a long-term romance; advice from a psychologist will help you cope with this difficult situation.

Tips on how to break up a relationship with a married man

In order to break off and stop dating with a “married man,” you need to tune in to the breakup and make the final decision to put an end to them.

Psychologist's advice on how to take the plunge and tell your lover about your decision:

1. Present your lover with a fact and tell him that you want to break up with him, ask him not to bother you. Delete his number or change yours so that there is no temptation to renew the relationship. Do it today. In some cases, if the lover does not want to destroy the relationship, he will have to leave for a while and take a vacation.

2. Do not agree to the male tricks of arranging a farewell party, this is an attempt to keep you.

3. Remove from your sight all photos, videos, gifts, surprises associated with him.

4. Pay attention to yourself, become selfish. Change your image, take a break, don’t be left alone, crying into your pillow, look at life with new eyes, now you are free and ready for a new relationship.

How to break off a long relationship with a married man you love, recommendations

Particular pain and suffering is experienced by women who decide to break off a love affair that has lasted for years, while still continuing to love. The woman understands that she has no chance of becoming his wife.

She constantly starts talking about how it’s time to stop meeting, but it doesn’t go beyond words. You must finally and firmly make this important decision and express it to your lover.

This conversation will be emotionally difficult, there will be arguments, questions, promises to wait, do not believe them. You need to go through this pain for your happy future. After a breakup, don’t focus on the problem, rest, and pay attention to yourself.

Remember, time heals any wounds. Suffering and torment will not lead to anything good. Let him go - he's a stranger.

Relationships between a married man and a married woman: psychology

Relationships in which both lovers are not free are not uncommon. Such a relationship does not oblige anyone and suits both partners; each of them has its own advantages.

A woman is attracted to new emotions, escape from everyday problems, a man is attracted to variety, new bright sensations.

Psychology of a married man in a relationship with a woman: men's secrets:

• a man is satisfied with a married mistress from all sides, she is interested in the confidentiality of meetings, does not arrange scenes of jealousy, does not require hysterics, gifts or attentions.

• a married lady is relaxed in sex, she is experienced and knows what she wants;

• It is easy to break off relations with a married woman; she will take it for granted, because her life continues with her husband.

This is only a man’s opinion on this kind of relationship; for a woman this is a serious risk that can have irreversible consequences.

Female infidelity is rarely forgiven and leads to divorce, loss of family, disrespect from children, acquaintances and relatives.

The best advice for married women who are having an affair with a married man is to stop it immediately and show attention to your husband and try to return the love.

Modern society is full of phenomena that have not surprised anyone for a long time and do not cause indignation. So, for example, such a phenomenon as a married mistress of a married man is widespread these days due to special reasons that suit both parties.

In general, the reasons for spouses’ infidelity vary from “I’m tired of everything” to “I want to try.”

Most often, taking lovers for themselves, due to the infidelity of their husbands or simply when they want to take revenge for something. Less often, infidelity occurs because of a woman’s love for another man.

Completely different - they start an affair on the side as a result of cooling of feelings, they wanted to try something different, or they simply liked the woman.

A man is essentially monogamous. And, if he finds out about his wife’s infidelity, he does not try to take revenge on her in this way, but simply leaves. A man is an owner, so he will not allow his wife to belong to someone else, but a mistress is a completely different matter. This is why relationships between married lovers and married lovers have become so common.

What attracts married men to married lovers?

• First of all, this is a desire to surpass her own husband, proving to himself her leadership.
• Also, such a woman does not require expensive gifts, since she cannot afford to bring them home. And a married mistress has much less time than a free lady. This means she won’t bother you with unnecessary calls, text messages and questions like when will we meet again.
• Married mistresses are less demanding, more accommodating and very unavailable. It is inaccessibility that always attracts men to women. It is much easier to deceive a free person than a married woman for whom such values ​​as honesty and conscientiousness have a place in life.
• Another undoubted advantage of a married mistress is that such a woman, in most cases, will not cause unnecessary trouble. For example, she will not want to destroy a man’s family, since first she needs to destroy her own marriage. And sacrificing something of your own is much more difficult than sacrificing something of someone else. Moreover, such betrayal is an enchanting relationship that has no real basis. That is, if such a couple is placed in marital bonds, then it will most likely fall apart in the first few weeks.
• It should be noted that married lovers are less selfish than free ones. They watch over their lover, their husband and their family. They put their “I” aside almost to the last place and give themselves to the man completely without a trace. It’s also easier to break up with a married mistress. After all, she is not alone, she still has a man - this is her husband. Therefore, there will be no hysterics, crying and other unpleasant events.

Why do married women prefer married lovers?

• Often women choose married men as their lovers. It happens that long-forgotten feelings play a fatal trick on them. She was singled out from the crowd, she again feels beautiful, interesting to someone. At a time when her own husband does not pay any attention to her.
• A relationship with a married lover is also simpler and more pleasant for a married woman: there is no need for unnecessary worries, demands and words. Only feelings, extravaganza and sweetness of intimate relationships. Sex life with married men is always of high quality, since fatigue from routine sex with their wife forces them to look for extreme sensations on the side.
• Also, a woman is comfortable with the option of a married lover due to lack of her own time. There is no need to explain why you can’t meet him today, why you need to quickly run away after sex, why he should leave now... In general, there will be no unnecessary questions and complaints to the woman.

Thus, such a relationship suits representatives of both sexes. Therefore, such betrayals are quite common. Virtually no obligations, convenience, understanding of the partner’s situation, since the other lover is under the same circumstances.

What is the end of such a relationship?

Do these romances end in marriage? Only in 1% of all cases does this kind of love affair lead to the registry office, but in the remaining 99%, the relationship does not develop into something serious. Even if one of the lovers is ready to break up with their spouse, then most often the second representative of the couple is not ready for this.

It is very rare that two lovers’ desires to divorce and unite in a new marriage coincide. Usually the opposite situation is observed - both are satisfied with the marriage with the one with whom it has already been concluded, and betrayal is entertainment, a method of revenge, extreme sports, and so on. Therefore, “love” between a married mistress and a married man does not last long and does not develop into a serious relationship.

Romance novels where at least one of the couple is not free is always a challenge. It is even more difficult when both partners are married. Nevertheless, now such relationships are very popular. The question is brewing: what is it that attracts married lovers so much? What do people experience more - problems or drive? Or maybe it's about real feelings?\

It should be noted that the stronger and weaker sex venture into forbidden relationships for various reasons. For example, some ladies admit that they are interested in the image of a “double life”. An affair in this case is akin to a dangerous game. Others engage in adultery because of problems with their spouse, and still others - for the sake of revenge for betrayal.

The most interesting reason lies in the psychological childhood problem of a beautiful person. There is a category of ladies who are looking for a purely detached relationship. That is, they do not need cheating to develop into something more - marriage. Rather, they are even afraid of it. The behavior is justified by the fact that in childhood the mother did not pay due attention to the girl, and the father did not show feelings, behaved coldly and reservedly. And, perhaps, the option when a lady does not need marriage is ideal for men. But such a very small percentage.

Why else would a married lady choose to date someone who already has a wife? Because, unlike a bachelor, a married man is always well-groomed, neat, gallant and knows a lot about courtship. Who wouldn’t want to assert themselves next to such a gentleman?

Representatives of the stronger sex also explain trips to the “left” in different ways. Someone needs a change of scenery, someone is not happy with their bed, and someone else is facing a banal midlife crisis. The latter, by the way, really requires confirmation of the status of a “desirable man”.

Psychologists also note that infidelity by the stronger sex is greatly influenced by the character of the wife nearby. So this is understandable! - you say, - all spouses influence each other. Yes, but this situation is somewhat acute. Here's the wife:

• The boss is at work.
• Manages all processes at home.
• She earns much more than her husband.

It is no secret how painfully the male sex endures such circumstances. When a lady suppresses her companion for many years, his dignity falls catastrophically. And, by the way, I don’t really want to go to bed with such a wife. So, the phrase about dignity (to be honest) is quite ambiguous. Such representatives are very willing to become married lovers. And it’s better if the new passion is also not free. This has its certain advantages, which we’ll talk about.

Both of you are married: pros and cons

Married mistress of a married man? As it turned out, even psychologists, answering the question: is it necessary to continue dating if both are married? - they answer positively. This will be especially useful for some women - detachment from everyday life, the sharpness of sensations and the always missing confirmation that attractiveness is still valid. The advantage is that over time, women reevaluate their family life and are able to love their husband again. The same applies to a married lover. But this is provided that the connection was conscious and none of the parties expected the notorious “something more.”

If one of the partners is still single, he need not worry that, having found a partner for marriage, he will encounter conflicts and resentments. A conscious lover will accept the situation with due understanding and let the loved one go. And that's also a plus.

Well, if the partner is a born bachelor or the partner is a feminist, an affair with a family man will give you the opportunity to maintain your freedom and integrity, which is also very good.

The advantages also include the following:

• Meetings happen infrequently and for the sake of sex, so there is simply no time for quarrels. There is no place for family values, which is why you have to conflict with your spouse. The main task of lovers is to find an excuse for their delays in the face of legitimate ones.
• Courtship and long conversations are not about them. After all, you need time to be alone between work and home. Is this a plus? Yes. People don’t have time to get fed up, so their feelings won’t fade away for a long time.
• Calmness, experience and the ability to work around sharp corners. This is understandable, because there are adults who have seen a lot.
• Lack of desire to take someone away from the family. At the initial stage, the issue is discussed without hesitation. Partners understand that family is one thing, sex is another. No one will require a stamp in the passport, as usual, this happens in unequal pairs.
• Finance. No matter how mercantile it may sound, they also matter. Expensive gifts arouse curiosity among legal spouses, so they are given only for a birthday or a special holiday. At the same time, the headache about the topic: what to give as a gift?
• No risk of contracting the disease. Both of them are married, which means there is no need or time for meetings with any suspicious individuals.
• The relationship between lovers does not cross the forbidden boundaries. No one will come to visit unexpectedly (which unmarried women sometimes allow themselves to do), or send flowers at the wrong time. Both will do everything possible so that no one guesses what is happening.
• It is very easy to end such a relationship. To disengage, a conversation about impossibility/unwillingness is enough, after which you can be sure that your partner will not bother you - without hysterics, tears and night calls. Everyone has their own worries, there is no time to deal with nonsense.
• The main plus is adrenaline and positive emotions. Intrigue always adds color to everyday life. And this is exactly what people are looking for.

Cons of forbidden fruit

Married lovers. There are fewer disadvantages here, but they are still present. The main danger is that sometimes lovers get a little carried away. Not only conscious adults enter into such a connection, but also those who have not matured, with terrible inferiority complexes. It happens that a person truly falls in love and passionately desires to possess his beloved/mine completely and completely. Even though he himself does not plan to get a divorce. It’s good if the desire to create a joint family is mutual, bad if it’s one-sided. After all, the second partner, who only needs sex and adrenaline, doesn’t need “Santa Barbara”. Yes, he can stop meetings and leave, but will they let him go, will they let him live in peace?

Often, hysterical people destroy families with their behavior. As we already know, such behavior is observed less often in the stronger half. But a beautiful lady is capable of desperate acts. Especially if a woman, being married, is deeply unhappy. It happens that the reason why a lady starts cheating is to escape from her husband to another and to put a new stamp in her passport. But the attitude of a lover towards his partner is often completely different. His first task is to preserve what he created - his family.

This is where the problems begin. Even the strongest couple can fall apart under the strong pressure of a desperate couple. And everything will end badly not only for the spouses, but also for the mistress herself. After all, after calls, threats, going to work, meetings with his wife and everything else that an angry fury is capable of, the loved one is unlikely to want to return.

Another disadvantage is unplanned pregnancy. It will be especially difficult in this situation for the weaker half of the couple. After all, the test of living with her husband under the same roof and lying that the child is a joint one will fall to her lot. Terminating a pregnancy is also not an easy act, and again it is up to the woman to decide.

Perhaps, divergence of goals and pregnancy are the most dangerous disadvantages that long-term relationships between married people have.

How long will this last?

How long do relationships between unfree people last? This relationship is perhaps the strongest based on feelings. But the duration may vary. Much depends not only on the couple, but also on the legal spouses of each of them. It happens that other halves know or guess about the adventures of the spouse “to the left,” but do nothing. The reasons for this can be very different, but they often decide the duration of the connection. So, lovers have been dating for ten or more years. Sometimes strong halves even periodically live with new passions.

Although, the less often the dates occur, the stronger the mutual attraction. And, of course, the more a morally legitimate passion prohibits and oppresses, the brighter and stronger the love. But when there is no resistance, then there is no adrenaline: feelings weaken, a hated habit appears, from which a person runs into the arms of his mistress. If you look from the spouse’s side, then this tactic is very wise and correct. Sooner or later, your loved one will get bored and return to the nest.

Or the opposite may happen - the legal one will give you an ultimatum and force you to choose. And when a partner chooses (a wife, of course), she will do everything to make him forget his rival as soon as possible.

Feelings can also cool down on their own, without outside interference. In this situation, the man will begin to look for a replacement, since resting mentally and receiving physical pleasure has already become a habit, and the previous partner is not able to give this.

The duration can be a month, six months, a year, ten. Statistics do not provide correct results, because the timing of an affair between unfree people is much more difficult to calculate than the timing of open relationships. In addition, few people admit (even anonymously), they say, I am married and have a married lover. Even today such adventures are strictly condemned.

What can be said with certainty is that the duration of such love depends on:

• Coincidence of goals.
• Spiritual intimacy.
• Sexual compatibility.

If this set of advantages is present, then the relationship will last much longer. If one of the links falls out, less, etc.

Love at a distance will last the least. You won’t have sex on the phone and you won’t be nourished with spirituality. Therefore, if the couple is in different cities, one of the companions (most likely a man) will go over to his married mistress, who will be nearby.

We are not promoting illicit relationships, but we are implying that for some people, an affair is the only outlet in life. It is possible that these people have finally found their true soul mates and will enter into a legal union in the future. Therefore, now we will try to give some advice on how to behave correctly and what should not be allowed so as not to destroy intimacy.

• First, both married ladies and gentlemen who have a chosen one should under no circumstances criticize their own or other people’s legal spouses. Criticism heard in a loving situation easily turns into a joke or ridicule, which does no honor to lovers. In addition, if a person criticizes his own people, then this is perceived as normal, but when he hears criticism of his wife/husband from someone else’s lips, it is painful.
• Don't complain about your faithful ones. Firstly, don’t wash dirty linen in public, secondly, family squabbles concern only two people, the third is out of place, and thirdly, who likes to go on a date with joy in their hearts and leave with an unpleasant aftertaste from the burden of other people’s problems?
• Don't put any moral pressure. If one of you is for free love, and the other is against it because he wanted more, it is better to separate. After such a turn, only torment awaits you.
• When deciding to separate, do not hesitate. When you leave, leave! Remember that you have your rightful passion, switch, pay more attention to your marriage and children. Perhaps now the situation will turn for the better and you will thank your exes for teaching you to value the most important thing - family.

The topic of adultery is already so old that it would seem to make no sense to discuss it. However, there are so many people, so many opinions, and even more questions. After all, even a stamp in your passport is not an obstacle to going outside. And from both spouses. After all, a married woman as a mistress is not a new phenomenon. But why do men increasingly choose those who are already married and how long can such a tandem exist?

Married Lover and Married Mistress

Relationships between a man and his mistress are different. Some representatives of the stronger half of humanity run away “to the left” out of boredom, others thus increase their self-esteem, and still others, which does not happen often, again have a feeling of falling in love with their new passion. And sometimes for this reason they divorce their own wives. However, despite such examples, the ideal mistress for a married man is the one who also has a stamp in her passport. Let's try to figure out why this happens.

What does a man expect from his mistress?

At a minimum, differences from his wife, otherwise adultery would not make any sense. Numerous surveys of the stronger sex have shown that only a mistress who is married herself can meet all the requirements for psychological and physical comfort. Here's how the men themselves explain it:

• a married mistress of a married man will not create the problems that can arise with a free woman. Those. at least she will not try to destroy the family;
• The relationship between a man and a lover who has a stamp in his passport is much simpler in financial terms. A lady with a spouse cannot accept numerous expensive gifts;
• a married woman does not have time for frequent meetings, so she will not bother you with endless calls, and meetings with her will always be fruitful;
• men love variety, as well as extreme situations. A mistress who has someone else will always remain a mystery that requires caution;
• a married woman is more caring and sensitive, because... she worries every day about the well-being and peace of her family;
• Married women have a calmer character and are less selfish than free women. In addition, a woman who is experienced in relationships is almost always self-sufficient and independent and does not shift responsibility onto the shoulders of a man;
• It is always much easier to part with such a woman. She will not throw hysterics and scandals, and will be able to calmly find a replacement for her failed boyfriend.

Based on similar male arguments, a woman whose husband has a married mistress can be relatively calm. Such a hobby will not bring any problems, unless, of course, the lady knows about the betrayal and takes it calmly.

On the other hand, there is an opinion that women themselves begin to cheat on their spouses only in response to their betrayal or out of a feeling of revenge and insulted dignity. In fact, let's face it, it needs to be mentioned that there is another reason that is no less common. Not only men are capable of “trying on” attractive people of the opposite sex. There is even a joke: “Spring. I want to find a gentle man, but my husband doesn’t allow it.” And indeed it is. If the reasons why a man begins to cheat are more or less known to us (boredom, the opportunity to feel desired again, the desire to find variety in life), then why such thoughts appear in the head of a married woman depends on the circumstances. This may include an unsuccessful marriage, disrespect for her husband, lack of proper attention to her person, the notorious betrayal of her husband, which the woman found out about, etc. Then she meets someone attractive who appreciates her, and the scenario of events becomes the same as for men who cheat on their spouses.

However, there is one very significant BUT. The married mistress of a married man risks her family very much and can destroy it with her own hands. This is her nature - a woman concentrates on her secret hobby, becomes absent-minded, can spend hours thinking about her boyfriend, and behavior alone can reveal the true reason for such behavior.

From this we can conclude that married lovers and mistresses are, in fact, a logical tandem. However, by its nature, it cannot exist for a long time: a man from such a union will have positive emotions and be charged with additional energy, and a woman who, instead of her husband, gives her life force to another man, ultimately destroys her family and her entire life. Whether it is worth the risk, for the sake of such an outcome of events, everyone chooses for himself. But the convenience of such a relationship on the side is obvious, which means there will be new generations of married and married lovers.

Often women choose married men as their lovers. Therefore, “love” between a married mistress and a married man does not last long and does not develop into a serious relationship. Be that as it may, married mistresses and married lovers will exist as long as humanity exists. So, for example, such a phenomenon as a married mistress of a married man is widespread these days due to special reasons that suit both parties.

Less often, infidelity occurs because of a woman’s love for another man. It is much easier to deceive a free person than a married woman for whom such values ​​as honesty and conscientiousness have a place in life. Another undoubted advantage of a married mistress is that such a woman, in most cases, will not cause unnecessary trouble. It should be noted that married lovers are less selfish than free ones.

They put their “I” aside almost to the last place and give themselves to the man completely without a trace. After all, she is not alone, she still has a man - this is her husband. Therefore, there will be no hysterics, crying and other unpleasant events. Sex life with married men is always of high quality, since fatigue from routine sex with their wife forces them to look for extreme sensations on the side.

A friend met a married man on flights and worked as a train conductor. And I’m always the first to call and love texts when I go on vacation with my wife. Oh, I dated a married man for a short time, but managed to fall in love. You got into this situation because you did not recognize such a relationship and did not believe that this could happen to you. Your story is another confirmation that everything secret becomes clear and that there is no friendship between a man and a woman.

Married man and married woman.

Modern society is full of phenomena that have not surprised anyone for a long time and do not cause indignation. Most often, women cheat by having lovers, because of their husbands’ infidelity, or simply when they want to take revenge for something.

The reasons for male infidelity are completely different - they start an affair on the side as a result of cooling feelings, they wanted to try something different, or they simply liked the woman. A man is essentially monogamous. And, if he finds out about his wife’s infidelity, he does not try to take revenge on her in this way, but simply leaves.

First of all, this is a desire to surpass her own husband, proving to himself her leadership. They watch over their lover, their husband and their family. Also, a woman is comfortable with the option of a married lover due to lack of her own time. Only in 1% of all cases does this kind of love affair lead to the registry office, but in the remaining 99%, the relationship does not develop into something serious.

An affair with a married man

Usually the opposite situation is observed - both are satisfied with the marriage with the one with whom it has already been concluded, and betrayal is entertainment, a method of revenge, extreme sports, and so on. Also, lovers are affected differently by their attitude towards short-term romance.

Confessions of a married lover

And if his love affair is discovered, he will simply blame his wife for everything, saying, “You’re such a person that I started looking at other women.” Therefore, there will always be remorse, tears and disappointments. I was naive, I believed - this is a flint man - he protects himself for me. But life is somehow more prosaic.

And what can I say, he was not painful and generous, one might say that he spent almost no money at all, only on trips to rare meetings. I finally understood this three years later, when I was wildly tired of such a split in my soul. Who he is, the one who writes you such folding and romantic letters - you don’t know.

A kind of pepper in life. And we women begin to worry deeply, to imagine his sufferings for him, to endow them with some fabulous qualities, to be killed by the inability to see each other. I decided that my husband was wonderful, and he had already proven to me more than once that he was my best, faithful friend, with whom I also felt good in bed.

Good luck to you, and keep your cool. He was with her for 4 days, with his wife in another city for 4 days. He finds them online, they are immediately ready for sex, and they don’t need gifts or courtship))). Just CONVENIENT and EVERYTHING))). Married women are even more sluts than single women. A married colleague clung to me, she arranged everything herself - and meetings in her apartment, while the children were in kindergarten and school, and her husband was at work.

It is inaccessibility that always attracts men to women. I have a friend, he only dates married people)). A relationship with a married lover is also simpler and more pleasant for a married woman: there is no need for unnecessary worries, demands and words. Only feelings, extravaganza and sweetness of intimate relationships.