Natural, fashionable, active, protective... What kind of parents do you consider yourself to be? Parental positions and attitudes when raising children. material on the topic You may also like

How to determine excessive custody of a child and how to overcome it?

Many people, especially women, feel guilty about paying too much attention to their child. You have to hear over and over again: you are too protective of him. It even sometimes goes so far as to call some mothers a hen, a hen that covers her chicks to protect them from any predators. This point should not be misjudged; to a certain extent, excessive attention is not harmful, however, there is a point when excessive attention becomes clearly unnecessary. So first of all, how can you tell if you are being overprotective of your child, and if so, how can you overcome it?

It's not that hard to tell if you're being too protective of your child. From your point of view, you do not think that this is excessive care, but simply a form of expression of love and care, something that you think will be the best in the world for your child. So how can you figure out if you are being too emotional with your child?

In the first months of a baby's life, there are only a few ways you can be overprotective of your baby. It's true that you can't spoil a newborn baby by holding him and hugging him, but there are some things that may be unnecessary. Parents do not at all distinguish between a child’s crying, so many parents think that if a child cries, then he is hungry. This phenomenon is called by many experts the hose phenomenon. The baby is constantly receiving fluids because we are not sure what we need to do. The child cannot tell us if he is tired, or if he is hot, or if something is bothering him. Other manifestations of excessive care during the first year of life are that parents run to the crib as soon as they hear the baby squeak, and begin to rock or feed the child so that he falls asleep. Of course, the child will fall asleep, but many parents will thus contribute to the development of sleep problems in the future.

As children get older, a form of excessive parental care known as overprotectiveness occurs. This stage usually occurs when children reach adolescence. Children need to run, climb and tumble to develop their balance and skills for the future. Of course, parents should be concerned about their safety, but accidental falls, bruises and skinned knees are completely normal. Parents should not interfere during this stage of the child's development. Later during the teenage stage, children practice being adults by making friends, making their own decisions and taking risks. Parents need to make this stage easier by allowing children to have their own way. The more you try to protect your children, the more they may resist.

After a few years of parenting, parents must learn to step back, but there are some parents who are unable to do this because they are too involved in their children's lives. If parents continually take action if the child does not succeed in school, sports or family events, they will actually have a negative effect on the child. They will rob the child of the opportunity to experience the most important events and developmental milestones in life. When the child is already thirty, mommy will no longer be able to protect him from failures, and such a small event can destroy the child’s future life, since he has never encountered how to overcome failures.

To get rid of overprotectiveness, there are really only a few things you need to do. The first step is to step back, let your child fall, and if this results in simple scrapes and bruises, allow him to continue climbing and running; You need to allow the teenager to make his own decisions and suffer failures. Children need to learn these important life skills.

Secondly, you need to pay attention to what other parents are doing - what they allow their children to do, how they raise children of the same age. Of course, there are extremes on both sides of education, but there is always a main direction. Go to the playground with your child, talk to other parents in your child's class about their parenting methods. You don't have to follow all of their advice, and as with everything else, you need to take it slow, step by step, and let your children develop.

A child comes into the world as a helpless creature, and parental care for him is a necessary condition for his survival. With the help of an adult, a child learns to walk, talk, think, and navigate the world around him. An adult plays a leading role in the development of a child’s personality. It is in interaction with him that the child becomes familiar with the experience of humanity, as a result of which his psyche is qualitatively transformed and acquires human characteristics.

Yet, when parents talk about caring for their child, they mean very specific features of their relationship with him. Behind this lie everyday worries, things that usually worry parents.

Parents take care that their child is not hungry, and prepare food for him so that he does not feel cold - they take care that his clothes and shoes match the weather outside. Parents care about the development of the child - they teach him, help him, protect him.

All these worries are part of our lives, and we simply do not notice that care and care are different. Moreover, children have different attitudes towards her, and not necessarily positively.

Care as a “pusher”. A mother is trying to teach her eight-year-old daughter all sorts of things, sciences and arts. The aspiration is essentially good, but it does not necessarily lead to corresponding results. Let's see why.

At the insistence of her mother, the girl studies English, music, goes to a children's choir, and also practices figure skating. The mother continually says to her daughter: “I want not only that you have a slender waist, but that you know how to behave in society and take your rightful place in it.” At every convenient moment, the mother repeats: “I will do everything for you, I try to make you feel only good.

The girl, inquisitive and capable, happily began to attend the classes offered to her and complete the “development program.” However, after a short time, the girl began to have vague doubts about the advisability of all this, and a feeling of protest arose: “Why do I need to study music and English if I don’t like all this at all? I would like to get better at drawing or spend more time playing in the yard with friends... Mom says it's all for my good and that I should enjoy these opportunities. But are all the activities that are useful really so uninteresting?”

The mother’s care is not perceived not only because she overdid it and overloaded the girl with various activities. The main thing is that the girl herself does not see the meaning in them; they are devoid of attractiveness for her. The girl is placed in a conflict situation. On the one hand, she doesn’t want to upset her mother, on the other hand, she doesn’t want to do everything that her caring mother tells her to do. All this leads to the fact that the girl begins to sleep poorly, bites her nails, and is increasingly in a bad mood.

Care as protection and guardianship. Mother and father believe that life is complex and difficult, and their child is still so small, helpless and naive. Therefore, they protect him from possible troubles and difficulties. Parents help a seven-year-old with homework: they call his friends if the son forgets what is assigned for homework; they check whether he put everything in his briefcase when going to school. Parents are caring. How does this affect the boy? If you ask the teacher what she thinks about the boy, she will say: he is not independent, he gives in to the slightest difficulties. Classmates will add: “Mama’s boy,” he’s afraid of everything.

And the boy himself perceives this attitude of his parents not as a manifestation of love, but rather as an annoying interference in his life.

Over time, the child increasingly protests against the mentoring of his parents and avoids communicating with them.

The two options described - care as a “pusher” and care as protection and guardianship - are examples of excessive care. Although everything looks “normal” on the outside, we are dealing with a pronounced lack of understanding by parents of the child’s inner world. This attitude does not help the development of children, but, on the contrary, distorts it and hinders it. At the core of this parental attitude lies a lack of recognition of the child’s autonomy, distrust or imposition of their decisions and desires on him.

In both cases, parents are more concerned with fulfilling the role of the “ideal parent” than with their actual child, his unique personality, his needs - real, not imaginary. What advice could you give to such parents? First of all, be more clear about your child’s needs and take a closer look at what exactly he himself is striving for. A child is an autonomous person who has the right to his own decisions and preferences, and not a doll from which parents need to make a “real person.”

The child creates himself, whether we like it or not. He needs to try for himself what he can and cannot do, to find the path to follow. This path, of course, is not without mistakes, but can a person learn to walk without getting bumps? The problems and difficulties that he encounters along the way are his problems, not his parents’, and he himself must learn to cope with them. Of course, parents want to help, their help is sometimes simply necessary. However, it will be more beneficial if difficulties and problems are not eliminated by predicting, but shown and suggested to the child possible options for solving them. In one of the songs, a mother sings that if she could, she would remove all the pebbles from her son’s path and put pillows on his path so that he would not hurt himself when he falls.

The mother’s feelings, her desire for the child to do well, are understandable. However, our anxiety for the child is our problem, and sometimes it is simply necessary to cope with such feelings.

The child faces a difficult task - to learn to overcome the difficulties and obstacles that arise before him, and to feel faith in his own strength. In fact, parents who take care of everything in the world onto their shoulders thereby behave simply irresponsibly: it is physically impossible to always and everywhere accompany and care for their son or daughter, and by firmly tying them to themselves with excessive care, they obviously doom their children to a series of serious life failures.

A child perceives parental care in different ways: sometimes as a manifestation of love, and sometimes as interference and suppression. Numerous studies by psychologists show that for harmonious development he needs a certain balance of care, guardianship and freedom, autonomy, starting from an early age. This is realized in the so-called democratic attitude towards the child. He must not only feel warm feelings from his parents, see their care for him, but also perceive that his parents approve of his independence, provide him with the opportunity to choose and encourage his independence, self-determination, that is, they understand and respect him.

By surveying parents, we came to the conclusion that most of them consider the democratic style the most acceptable and think that they themselves adhere to it. However, it is one thing to reason like this, and another to act accordingly. To actually implement such an attitude, from the very beginning it is necessary to distinguish our aspirations from the desires of the child. It is not so rare that what is necessary and useful from the parents’ point of view seems unattractive to the child. Almost always, when opinions differ, we try to convince the child and influence him, reasoning something like this: “I have a wealth of life experience, but what does he understand?” This is justified when it comes to the norms of human existence and a healthy lifestyle.

But much more often we try to convince the child of something that relates to his personal choice, which, to be impartial, is no worse or better than ours - we just don’t like it. Our son is friends with a boy in the yard whom we don’t like; instead of the violin we chose, the child prefers football; in our opinion, the child prefers a bun to healthy beans. Parents are often so convinced of the correctness of their attitudes that they resort to scientific and pseudoscientific arguments to justify them, and do not notice the reality that contradicts them.

Let’s imagine for a moment a conversation with such parents, who “exactly” know what their child needs, choose for him, and envelop him in unnecessary care.

Psychologist. Please tell me, do you have a friend, acquaintance whom you respect and consider a valuable person?

Parent. Yes, and, perhaps, not alone.

Psychologist. And are they all similar to you as individuals? Are they similar to each other?

Parent. Probably not, maybe in some ways. Often their views differ from mine. In general, they are quite different people.

Psychologist. Which of them is the most valuable as a person?

Parent. Sorry, but this question seems stupid to me. They are all people, they are all valuable, but each in their own way. Each of them found their own style of life and communication. You cannot approach every person the same way.

Psychologist. I am pleased with this conclusion of yours. Well, what about your child? How do you know in advance what he should be like, what he should do, what he should be removed from and protected from?

The main aspect of a democratic attitude is the recognition that the tastes, thoughts, and judgments of another person also have the right to exist, just like our own. Moreover, for another person they are justified, so. how they base their understanding of the world on his, and not on our personal experience. With such an understanding of the other, a truly democratic position in relation to the child’s choice and self-determination is possible: “Although I like this, I’m glad that you were able to choose what you like, that you act as you think is right. I know that you will encounter difficulties, but you yourself must be able to anticipate them and cope with them. If you want, I will help you."

Help is most effective and brings a feeling of mutual satisfaction when it is really needed, when the child himself asks for it. It is paradoxical that we often do not hear just such a request, we bypass it, but we willingly offer pseudo-help, which is not at all necessary, humiliates the person, and at the same time we still count on gratitude. Let's look at one example.

A 9-year-old boy is learning to play the flute. Mother hears, being in the kitchen, that he is playing the exercise incorrectly. She goes to him and says: “You are playing wrong. Let me show you how to do it and help you learn the exercise.” The son says that he plays correctly and will learn it himself. However, the mother sits next to the boy and corrects him every time he makes a mistake. The scene ends with the boy starting to get angry, then completely losing his composure and crying. The mother is at a loss: she wanted to help! What's wrong with pointing out mistakes to a child?! She tries unsuccessfully to calm her son down. In the end, the mother loses patience and, leaving the room, says: “You can never be taught anything! Well, play for yourself as you want!

The situation ended in mutual irritation, the child was left discouraged, humiliated, with his faith in his abilities shaken. This is the price to pay for unnecessary interference.

As a compliment to the mother, you can say that she learned a lesson from this. Look what happened a few days later.

The mother, hearing her son’s mistakes in the exercises, after some time entered his room and said: “What difficult exercises you have today! If you need anything shown or explained, call me.” Being in the adjacent room, she heard that her son repeated the exercise several more times with errors: he felt that something was wrong, but could not play otherwise. Finally he calls his mother and she comes and asks what help he needs. The boy says that the rhythm is not clear to him. Mom, clapping her hands, shows the rhythm, and the boy quickly understands what the mistake is. Mom leaves the room and a few minutes later hears her son’s joyful cry: “Mom! It turns out! Learned it!”

In this case, both were satisfied with each other and with themselves. The boy was able to cope with the difficult task on his own, the mother is glad that she unobtrusively helped the child, she is glad for his success. This is a great reward for believing in the strength and independence of another person.

Every person, and especially a child, has enormous development opportunities. In addition, he is inclined to improve himself and his attitude towards the world. The easiest way to prevent him from doing this is to not believe in his strength and wisdom, to treat him like a piece of clay for sculpting imaginary images or like an exotic flower, anticipating that he will die from the first breath of the north wind. In both cases, despite good intentions, your concern will not be perceived as love, but rather as an obstacle and hindrance.

Parents have a responsibility to care for, protect and protect their children. However, sometimes adults greatly exaggerate their own role in the lives of their growing children. They begin to overprotect them. This style of parenting is called overprotection. It is based on the desire of parents to satisfy not only the immediate needs of the child, but also imaginary ones. In this case, strict control is used.

What does maternal overprotection lead to?

In most cases, overprotection is observed on the part of mothers. This behavior greatly harms her sons and daughters. Boys especially suffer from this. “Mother hen” prevents them from gaining independence, deprives them of purposefulness and responsibility.

If a woman strives to do all the work for the child, makes decisions for him, constantly controls, then this hinders the development of the child’s personality, does not allow him to become a full-fledged person who is capable of self-service, caring for himself and loved ones.

And my mother deprives herself of many joys, spending time on things that are not really worth doing. Her son is unlikely to be able to please her with his achievements, because he will get used to being led and lacking initiative.

Thus, overprotection leads to the following consequences:

1. problems in determining one’s place in life;
2. complex, constant uncertainty, fear of taking responsibility and making decisions;
3. endless search for one’s own calling;
4. problems with personal life, lack of family relationships;
5. inability to take care of oneself;
6. inability to communicate with other people and resolve conflicts;
7. low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence.

At the same time, mothers rarely realize that they are behaving incorrectly, which has a very negative impact on the boy.

Why does overprotection occur?

When a baby is just beginning to get acquainted with the world around him, the parents’ desire to protect him from all troubles is completely justified. We are not talking about overprotection here. At three years old, adults should give the child more freedom so that he learns to be independent. If strict control is maintained at a later age, then the manifestation of overprotection is obvious.

What are the reasons for its appearance? Firstly, parents can try to use their baby to “fill the void” in life, satisfy personal needs, and feel significant and needed. This is how they want to realize themselves if they have not found other ways for this, or they have turned out to be unsuccessful.

Secondly, sometimes it can happen that adults, with their excessive care, try to drown out true feelings - hostility towards the child. Children are not always born according to the mutual desire of their parents; some have a negative attitude towards their appearance. But then they begin to fear that their rejection may negatively affect their daughter or son, leading to sad consequences. To hide remorse, adults “hide” their disappointment deep in the subconscious, replacing it with overprotection.

Thirdly, total control becomes a habit among moms and dads that they can’t get rid of. Parents who take care of the baby from its first days continue to behave in this way even when the children grow up.

Adults must understand that a child is a separate person who must have his own desires, requirements, and dreams.

To become successful members of society in the future, they need to accumulate their experience, develop personal qualities, and be able to make decisions. Parents still won’t be able to live forever, so sooner or later the children will have to live on their own. And without preliminary preparation it will be extremely difficult.

How to get rid of overprotection

Achieving a balance between inattention and excessive care is not always easy to find. It is more difficult for families where there is only one child, and they are not planning a second one. However, it is necessary to adjust your behavior so as not to do a “disservice” to the baby.

How to “change the wrong direction”? To do this, you need to remember a few nuances:

1. First you need to realize that overprotection has a bad effect on children. It will not make them happy, successful, purposeful, confident. On the contrary, it will deprive you of all this. Parents are obliged to imagine how their child will live in the future if he cannot do without outside help. A child’s independence should be achieved gradually, and not alienated from oneself overnight.

2. If adults realized the error of their actions only when their son or daughter had already reached adolescence, then there is no need to continue to build a high wall of endless prohibitions around them. Parental control only causes conflicts and misunderstandings in the family.

3. It is more correct to communicate with the child “on equal terms”, to establish warm relationships based on trust. You need to not only take an unobtrusive interest in their lives, but also share your concerns, seek advice, and ask for their opinion on certain issues. However, you should not demand adult responsibility from your child for his actions. He must be independent, but within reasonable limits.

4. Each person learns more effectively from his own mistakes than from the experiences of others. Therefore, there is nothing to worry about if sometimes the baby makes mistakes, experiences bitterness or disappointment. This is quite natural, and sometimes even useful.

Adults should allow their children to live their lives themselves, experiencing both joys and sorrows.

Proper relationship building

Sometimes being a lazy mom is better than being a mother hen. After all, then the child will definitely not become helpless and weak. If everything is done for him, then he will be absolutely unadapted to adult realities. And if for a girl to be completely independent and independent is important, but not so fundamental, then the makings of a real man need to be formed in a boy from childhood. In the future, he will have to bear responsibility not only for himself, but also for his family, wife, children, and other relatives.

It is not recommended to constantly criticize your child. Sometimes he needs guidance on the true path, explanations and help, and not boring moral teachings. The baby will understand that he is not scolded every time, but is understood and helped, and is expected to be independent.

You cannot first reproach the baby for scattered toys or a torn button, and then eliminate the consequences of his pranks yourself. It is better to express dissatisfaction with the behavior of your son or daughter by instructing them to eliminate the results of mischief. They may not succeed the first time, but then they will no longer have the desire to commit the wrong actions again.

Reaching a conscious age, children, especially boys, will feel their differences from their independent peers. While the latter manage many tasks and little things easily, then “mama’s boys” cannot cope even with basic responsibilities. And this leads to deepening feelings of inferiority.

Thus, parental overprotection greatly harms children, and does not benefit them. This must be realized and taken into account when raising children. The consequences of excessive care negatively affect the development of the child. It should develop responsibility and independence, and not cultivate a personality unprepared for adult realities.

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What kind of parent should I be? Surely everyone asks themselves this question and everyone strives to become the best. Some people's lives, habits and hobbies change greatly with the advent of children, while others remain in a more familiar direction. Today, certain styles and trends in parenting have emerged, so to speak. I don’t undertake to build a clear system, I just wanted to sketch out a classification of parenthood, highlight several groups from the total mass and describe their characteristics. How objective my attempt is is for you to judge.

First group – active parents. They are distinguished by the fact that they have time everywhere and always with children. Nannies are not for them. Already from birth, they take their babies on trips and do not experience discomfort. Most often among these parents are lovers of tourism and active recreation. These people are not afraid of childhood “sores,” and one gets the impression that their confidence makes their children healthier. Everyone envies their enthusiasm and courage, many dream of one day becoming the same, only a few become like this if they manage to overcome their inner fears and prejudices.

Natural Parenting. Such mothers and fathers often choose the tactic of “active non-interference.” They do not like to resort to pharmaceutical drugs: colds in children are treated with folk remedies or homeopathy. Such people love nature and want to create the most natural environment for their child. Mothers carry newborn babies close to their bodies in slings, rather than carrying them in a stroller, and breastfeed them for several years. The child is protected from technological progress and gadgets. Such families prefer/dream of living in the village. Many of these parents are interested in ethnography and go to historical festivals.

Fashionable parents. Let's call them that. Their kids have the best stroller in the area and a large wardrobe from Western brands, which you probably haven’t had in your entire life. They are not afraid of the fact that the era of new toys has arrived, and their children are excitedly playing on iPhones and tablets, giving parents long-awaited moments of peace. Providing the best for your child is the goal of a fashionable parent. Often the emphasis is placed not only on the “attributes” of childhood, but also on education: future child prodigies, from the age of 3-4, attend many classes and in a playful way master not only English, but also economics.

Protective parents. They hang a red bow on the stroller and do not allow anyone to look at the child without certain rituals: nails or spitting, excuse me, everyone has their own... Moreover, the parents may not even be completely superstitious, but for the sake of safety, all means are good. In the first months of their child’s life, they often call an ambulance, which, when they arrive, discovers a small pimple. They cover all the furniture with silicone pads to make it easier for the child to hit, and the doors in their house stop closing due to blockers so that the child does not press his finger. Their child is always under the supervision of someone or something (baby monitor). Everything in the house is disinfected: from door handles to dad’s face. I even heard that there are special vitamins to help a child adapt better in society, but the most interesting thing is that they are given from birth. In general, everything is used: medicine, religion, folk remedies, superstitions, new technologies... Prevention of everything is the slogan of such mothers and fathers.

I deliberately exaggerated the qualities that are inherent in my friends and myself. Perhaps there are many more types of parenthood than I was able to identify, and they are unlikely to be found in a “pure” form... In my opinion, most parents combine an assemblage of certain qualities from each type. I want to hope that you choose only the best. Sanity will help you!

Content:

Tired of your parents' overly strict demands? Are you sitting at home, cut off from your friends because your parents have stricter rules? One of the hardest things for parents is to trust their children with their independence, because there is no one parenting formula that will suit every child. Therefore, teenagers must earn their parents' trust and prove to them that they can enjoy their independence within reason. After reading this article, you will learn how to earn the trust of your parents.

Steps

1. 1 Make a list special privileges you would like to receive from your parents. Part of the reason your parents don't want to let you do anything that makes them even the slightest bit uncomfortable may be because they're afraid you'll take advantage of it and ask for something else. You can dissuade parents from this by coming to them with a final list of an acceptable number of privileges. Leave 5-6 empty lines after each requirement.
   • For example, depending on your age, the list might include the following:
     • Curfew extended until 11pm on Fridays
     • Maximum two nights per month
     • You can go for a walk after school, provided you are on time for dinner (18:30)
     • Possibility to borrow your parents' car for at least one weekend night
   • Don't ask for too much at once, because you risk angering your parents and ending up with nothing. Remember that building trust is a long-term process. Once you show your parents that a few privileges are enough for you, you can gradually expand your list of freedoms by asking for more (say, after at least a month or two).
2. 2 Under each request, write a list of reasons why you deserve it. Create statements that fall into the following categories: 1) how you have already demonstrated your responsibility in using privilege, 2) how you will prevent it from being abused, and 3) what the consequences of abuse will be.
   • For example, if you request an extension to the 11pm curfew on Fridays, one consequence could be that every minute you are late is deducted from your curfew the following Friday. The reason your parents will be able to trust you to make this request is that you will have your homework done by Sunday afternoon. That is, even if you go to bed a little later on Fridays, this will not affect your studies in any way.
   • During the conversation, do not justify your point of view by comparing it with the upbringing of your friends' parents. This is whining, not argumentation. Such comparisons are completely meaningless, because your friends' relationships with their parents have absolutely no impact on your relationship with your parents, and besides, you have no evidence whatsoever why one parenting is more effective than another. And earning the trust of parents means that they must have reasons to trust to you.
   • Don't try to blackmail them by calling them "horrible parents" or "deputies" - such insults will make your relationship more strained, and you also risk making them very angry. And even if they allow you to do something, it will not be because they trust you.
3. 3 Plan a serious conversation with your parents. Speak at the appropriate time, over a cozy family dinner, just mention that you have been thinking about increasing your privileges and that you have several reasons why they might be expanded. Depending on your parents' conversation preferences, you may want to discuss the issue right away or schedule a time to talk.
4. 4 Start the conversation with an understanding approach. Realize that your parents have legitimate concerns about stopping you from doing more things on your own. Bring your list to the table, but don't start bombarding parents with your demands. Instead, approach the conversation with something like this: “Mom, Dad, I completely understand why you are afraid to let me go out with friends whenever I want. Because you cannot know for sure what we are doing, and you will not be there if something happens. But, it seems to me that we can find a compromise on this issue; I think that I have earned your trust and can get additional freedoms. After all, I am growing up and developing - almost # # - I'm a teenager, and I need to express my opinions and make my own choices in certain matters."
   • Based on your parents' first reaction, you will have to decide whether to put the conversation on hold, continue with the pleasant introduction, or move on to your list.
5. 5 List the benefits you want and the good reasons for them, and be prepared to compromise. Discuss the items on the list with your parents and always have examples ready to demonstrate your good qualities and readiness for additional freedoms. Your parents may argue about certain requirements or parts of them, but this will mean that you are moving in the right direction. In the end, you will still have to compromise. Your parents may not give you absolutely everything you ask for, but that's completely normal. Remember that building trust is a long process, and if you show responsibility in the things that they allowed you do, you will be able to ask for more in the future.
   • Listen to your parents and their warnings. Take them seriously. Your parents care about you and want the best for you, so understand that they won't be able to be there for you and therefore want to make sure that you are truly ready for more independence. So listen patiently to parents' concerns and try to respectfully dissuade them by providing concrete examples of your responsibility and encouraging them to give you a chance to prove it.
6. 6 If your parents are not very responsive to your suggestions, give other reasons why being more independent would be beneficial for your development.
   • Use a calm and understanding tone when stating these reasons, as they may be difficult for your parents to accept, especially if you are the first child in the family.
   • Remind your parents that sooner or later you will turn 18, that you will be going to college on your own, and that they won't be around you forever making all your decisions. Being coddled all the time will hinder your personality development. Therefore, it is a good idea to practice expressing your own judgments and making decisions while you are under the care of your parents and in a relatively safe environment.
   • Emphasize social development. You need to go out and socialize with friends and meet new people. If you don't know how to get along with others, then your hopes for a future promising job will be numbered. People are often hired and fired, scolded and praised for things that are subjective and intangible, such as interpersonal relationships. If you can make the person interviewing you laugh, you will greatly improve your chances of getting the job. If you manage to grab your boss's lunch every now and then, you'll soon notice an increase in your productivity.
   • If your parents are afraid that you will make a mistake and thereby jeopardize your future, remind them that mistakes and failures are a natural part of growing up. Of course, you will avoid making the wrong decisions, but in the end, even If you really get into some kind of trouble, then having the ability to correct the situation and not repeat a similar mistake again is no less important. Your parents won't be able to protect you from failure your whole life, so you will have to learn a lot of lessons from them in order to be able to prevent such things on your own in the future.
7. 7 Behave responsibly. Don't expect your parents to treat you like an adult if you act like a child. Clean your room, offer to look after your younger siblings, don't throw tantrums, and so on. Even just letting them know you're doing well while you're away from them is a good sign of responsibility.
8. 8 Realize that sometimes your parents really know better than you. Especially in situations that are familiar to them, they know exactly what they are talking about. If they have doubts about you going out with someone or going out with a certain group of people, take their words and think about them seriously. Your parents are wiser than you.

• Never lie. If your parents find out, it will ruin all your work to gain their trust.
• Try to speak reasonably when you reason.
• Remember that the duration and content of any conversation are always very important. It is not recommended to start a serious conversation when neither of you is focused on it.
• Be open. If your parents see you being stubborn, they will see you as a child who is unable to accept their point of view.
• Never do behind your parents' back what they forbade you to do.
• The key to any relationship is communication. True, it doesn’t matter if you feel uncomfortable talking to your parents. But for everything there is a first time.
• Don't forget that just because your parents told you no, that doesn't mean they too much protect you. Most likely, you just mean a lot to them.

Warnings

• If at any point the conversation turns into a loud argument, stop. Leave the situation, let it resolve itself and maybe you should try again a little later when you and your parents are in a better mood.
• Don't react hotly if your parents are still too protective of you. This will NOT improve the situation. Be calm and control yourself, no matter what they say.
• If you do get more freedom, don't abuse it. Try not to follow the proverb “if you give me a finger, your whole hand will be bitten off.”