The child has become capricious: why is the child capricious? Increased tearfulness and capriciousness in children.

why is the child naughty

It turns out that at the age of one to three to five years child undergoes restructuring, during which he gains new experience, begins to understand more, and more acutely experience emotional conflicts. It was at this time baby and starts acting up, having learned that in the world, in addition to the word "yes", there is also the word "no".
Some pediatricians call this age the "first age of stubbornness" (the second refers to 12-14 years). So suddenly your seemingly docile little son or daughter becomes capricious and obstinate, stubbornly refuse to fulfill any requirements, while they can behave very ugly: stomp their feet, cry, scream, throw everything that comes to hand, throwing themselves on the floor, trying in this way to achieve what they want.
The causes of such hysterical fits are usually very simple, but the adult does not always manage to recognize them immediately.
So, why is the child naughty? There are several answers to this question.

Option one. why is the child naughtyThe child is naughty, cries, if something bothers him, he is sick, but he does not understand this. After all, small children they cannot feel what is happening in their body, the way they feel and understand it adults.
Option two. why is the child naughtyBaby wants to draw attention to himself. He chose this way to communicate with you either for purely selfish reasons, since he is better off with his parents than alone, or he really lacks attention. If the latter is true, it is worth seriously considering it.
Option three. why is the child naughty naughty, child wants to achieve something very desirable, namely: a gift, permission to walk, or something else that parents banned from some incomprehensible baby motives.
Option four. why is the child naughtyChild expresses protest against excessive guardianship and demonstrates a desire to be independent. This is quite natural if you adhere to an authoritarian parenting style, because he wants to be independent, and you constantly lead him: “You will wear this shirt!”, “You can’t do this!”, “Stop looking around!” etc.
Option five. why is the child naughty There is no reason that could cause a tantrum. It is simply an expression of the child's inner conflict with himself. Or maybe he just didn't get enough sleep today? Or he was very tired during the day and therefore capricious? Your family quarrels, scandals can also affect his mood. Think, analyze everything. As Janusz Korczak said, child undisciplined and angry because he suffers. In the causes of his suffering lies the answer to the question why he capricious.
And now we will consider each option in more detail and try to understand the reasons for this or that behavior. child and how to help him cope with himself.

2. Baby got sick the child is naughty
The whims of a child may be evidence that he is ill, but cannot say about it, because he himself does not understand what is happening to him.
One of the signs of illness is a change in behavior. This usually reduces appetite, baby easily excited, crying for no reason, then lie down on the sofa, then sit with an indifferent look.
Ways to find out if you're sick baby, so many. This is an examination, and a conversation with the child, and observation of him. In any case, if you come to the conclusion that he is sick, he should be shown to the pediatrician as soon as possible. I do not advise self-medication, it is very dangerous, especially if baby he still cannot understand and correctly explain what hurts him.
Be prepared for the fact that sick children are very capricious. Everyone knows that getting sick is bad. Sick the child is naughty he cannot run, play, he lies in bed and suffers. And it often turns out that for sick children, relatives try to do everything possible to make them feel good. They immediately find themselves in the center of attention, they get and buy any toys, sweets, fruits, indulge their whims. Is it necessary? After all, the baby, realizing that when he is sick, everything in this house is done for him, he can later resort to simulating the disease.
I do not call to deprive the child of parental care and attention. But you should consider whether your efforts are not excessive. The main thing is not to overdo it.

3. Call for communication - a child without communication - the child is naughty
To kid parental love is needed from the very beginning of life. However, if he is surrounded by excessive care and attention, he unconsciously begins to abuse them. So, already at the end of the first year of life, his cry, crying can mean not only that he wants to eat or drink. Crying becomes for him a way to call his parents to him, and not a whim, to attract their attention. Of course, he needs communication. But at the same time, you can’t run to him at every cry and fulfill all his desires. Otherwise, then he will have only one goal - to attract the attention of adults.

An increased demand for attention to oneself can manifest itself in different ways. For example, the child is naughty and demands to approach him, or turn on the light, or fasten a button. Usually parents try to influence him with such words: “Finally stop whining!”, “If you continue, I will lock you in the room,” etc. As a rule, swearing and threats do not have an effect. After a while, the child begins to do the same, and often even more. capricious.
If you want to avoid whims, nervous disorders, try to spend more time with your baby together. The child feels more confident in the presence of parents, this creates a sense of security in him. You have probably seen such a picture: when visiting strangers, the baby clings to his mother all the time, hiding behind her. But gradually he begins to look around and from time to time makes “walks” from her to the guests he likes, constantly returning to his mother.
Many parents at the reception and in letters complain that they do not have enough time to communicate with their children. But the main thing is not how much time you spend, but how you spend it. It is necessary to use all the opportunities that you have: evenings, weekends, etc. At the same time, you can not give up household chores, but communicate with the child in the process of doing them. Just pay attention to the baby, talk to him, and he will be very happy about this.
It is very important when communicating with a child to be sincere and natural. The child will immediately feel false. Therefore, to communicate with him, you need to tune in, remove irritation, forget about your worries. And then the time spent with the baby will bring joy to both of you.
Organize more family holidays. It is very good on such days, in addition to the traditional feast, to come up with some surprises, entertainment for the whole family. You can go to the theater or take a country walk. There are many ways to spend family time. It would be a wish!
Reaction to parental prohibition
Sometimes cause tears child(caprice) there may be an unexpected rejection of what he really likes. Reasons for rejection on your part may vary. But how to explain this to a small child? Or you noticed that your concessions and constant connivance led to the fact that the child became simply uncontrollable and stopped understanding you.
baby hard to understand what it means can", and what " it is forbidden", and you must help him with this. Do not forget about the peculiarities of the psyche and physiology of the baby at different periods of its development.
At the age of one, the child reacts very strongly to bright and catchy objects. It is quite natural that with screams and tears he will demand to give him the subject of interest to him. For instance, baby I saw a crystal glass that shimmers so beautifully, but you are afraid that with one careless movement the child will smash it to smithereens and even cut his hands. In this case, you should switch the baby's attention to a safer toy.
Very often, parents love their child so much that they buy too many toys. But after a while, they all get bored. And then the child is naughty and strives for something new and often forbidden. To prevent this from happening, do not give him all the toys at once, but simply change them from time to time.
Do not forget that at the age of one year, the child has a need to take every thing in his mouth and this is not a whim. This is due to the fact that he is teething. Make sure that among the toys there are no toys that are made of fragile and fragile material. If you buy a bright rubber toy, be sure to ask the seller what material it is made of. Recently, cases of poisoning by young children with paint, which are covered with toys, to attract the attention of buyers, have become more frequent.

Closer to three years, the child seeks to get to know the world around him. If at an early age visual and taste impressions played a big role, now he is striving to become a full member of the family. He wants to participate in all household chores and realize his importance.
At this age, parents often fall from one extreme to another. I know one family that clearly divided the world into "adult" and "children's". Parents gave their child a separate room and limited his access to other places, such as the kitchen. This was not due to educational goals, it was just that the parents loved the baby so much that they were terribly afraid for him.
But the curious child did not accept the situation and rushed to forbidden places whenever mother or dad distracted from his person. He was afraid of being noticed, so he tried to do everything quickly. Every time something fell, beat and broke. His parents tried to divert his attention from dangerous objects with sweets. Every time a child became interested in an object, access to which, according to the parents, children are strictly forbidden, they gave him a candy or something tasty.
The son learned this very soon and created such situations constantly and deliberately. Only each time his demands increased and he cried harder, and shouted louder. Parents, concerned about the state of his psyche, turned to me for help.
With great difficulty, I managed to convince them of their original wrong. After all child at this age seeks to copy the world of adults, let him become an assistant in all household chores, present it in the form of a game. Do you erase? Give him a small bowl and let him wash his socks. Do you cook in the kitchen? Let be child will do the same and feed his toys. There are several benefits to doing household chores together. First of all, child all the time is nearby and you avoid unpleasant surprises. Secondly, you have a great opportunity to explain to the baby the purpose of some objects and show which ones are dangerous for him.
Do you think that child very small and does not understand anything. This is the most common misconception. He understands much more than you think. whims, and sometimes even tantrums - this is a kind of way to test your reaction. In such cases, you must be firm and consistent. Give to kid to be alone with himself and soon he will realize that he was wrong and change his behavior.
You will have to face certain difficulties when the time comes child go to kindergarten. If you spend a lot of time talking with child, and he has already learned what is possible and what is not, that's good. It will be enough for you to talk to him again and explain that it is impossible to buy everything at the same time. One boy has a car, another has a locomotive, a third has a gun… It is clear that he wants everything at once and now. Explain that this does not happen, so you need to share.
If this does not help, play a game called "Shop". Give him toy money and ask him to make the necessary purchases. Very soon the money will run out, and the baby will understand that sooner or later everything comes to an end and not always what you want is available.
You will find the way to your heart child if you talk to him as an equal. If baby will understand that you want to understand this or that issue with him, many whims and troubles can be avoided. AND child at the same time it will grow calm and unspoiled.

self-affirmation
An immoderately enthusiastic attitude towards children, in which they feel excessive parental love, forms their egoism and selfishness. At child hypertrophied self-esteem arises, that is, he is undemanding to himself, but he is intolerant and over-demanding to others. At the same time, some children get so tired of parental love that they experience emotional overstrain, which is expressed in tears, the child is naughty, stubbornness, in opposition to everything that comes from adults.
Child perceives the care of parents in different ways: sometimes as a manifestation of love, sometimes as a hindrance and suppression of his "I". Psychological research shows that to kid already from an early age, a certain balance of guardianship and freedom is necessary for harmonious development. He must feel that he is not only taken care of and surrounded by care, but also given the right to make an independent choice, understand and respect him. For example, the baby begins to misbehave at the table. He refuses some dishes, asks for other food, demands a pacifier, although he has not used it for a long time. If in this case openly put pressure on him, the child is naughty and will continue his whims and become even more stubborn. We must agree that he has become independent and can choose his own dishes and eat as much as he wants. Believe me, he will not die of hunger, his life instinct will not let him die. Deal with what is happening with patience and humor
Many parents believe that they adhere to a democratic parenting style, but in reality this is not the case. “Caring” mothers literally don’t let some children take a step: “Don’t go there! Don't take it in hand! Don't play here! These are just some of the replicas that can be heard on the playground from morning to evening. Yes, parents should protect their kids from trouble, help them live in a difficult world, but is it always so necessary? Still child- not a doll, not a piece of clay, and in many ways he creates himself, whether we like it or not. He needs to learn everything and try everything himself, and without stuffing bumps this will not work. It is better if you explain to the child how to act in a given situation than to overprotect and prohibit everything in a row. Otherwise, he will never gain independence and self-confidence, he will always act on your orders and remain infantile (and there are plenty of examples of this).
Pull yourself together, be patient and act like one wonderful mother, who told her son when he came from the street: “I didn’t walk well, since I came clean!”
To give the child the right to independence, it is necessary to distinguish his desire from his own interests.
Sometimes in many families excessive strictness, drill is dictated by the interests not of the child, but of the parents, to whom an obedient child causes less trouble. After all, it is always more convenient if the child is quiet, calm, sits in a corner and does not interfere with anyone, does not distract adults with questions and requests to play. But how will such baby? Will he be a harmoniously developed, creative person or will he remain “downtrodden” and limited for the rest of his life?

Invisible causes of whims
At the age of five, due to insufficient life experience and the impossibility of a critical understanding of what is happening, any situation can become a super-strong irritant for the baby. This is the wrong behavior of parents (quarrels and conflicts between them, fights, aggressiveness towards the child, other family members or pets), and some street impressions.
It is known that people are born with different types of nervous system. Those who have a strong type of nervous system are calm, do not get upset over trifles, and are resistant to all sorts of troubles. People with a weak nervous system are more sensitive, vulnerable, they are more acutely experiencing everyday difficulties.
Children with a weak nervous system are overly excitable, they have an increased response to various external and internal stimuli. For example, some children react very strongly to even minor pain: it makes them hysterical. A lump in porridge can cause vomiting, a scary movie watched at night can deprive you of sleep. Such a child is difficult to stop if he is naughty. Try to calm him down, distract him, and if you notice that the stressful state does not go away for a long time, contact a neurologist or psychologist.

In the development of a child, psychologists and pediatricians distinguish three stable periods: "infant" - from birth to one year, "early childhood" - from one to three, and "preschool childhood" - from three to seven years. Each of these stages ends with the so-called crisis of development.

A crisis is a necessary and natural stage in a child's life, when changes in behavior and development accumulate and a transition to a qualitatively new stage takes place. Each crisis is accompanied by the appearance of stubbornness, disobedience, whims, which the baby shows extremely clearly. Thus, these crises are also three: a crisis of one year, a crisis of three years and a crisis of seven years. It is impossible to get around them - almost all children go through this. But for some, this transition is easier, for others it is accompanied by more serious, significant behavioral manifestations. Parents are surprised, looking for the reasons for such sudden changes in the behavior of their daughter or son. But these changes are natural, characteristic of all children at a certain age, so they were called "developmental crises."

Why does a crisis occur

So why do they arise? First of all, because children have new needs, and the old forms of satisfying them are no longer suitable, sometimes they even interfere, hold back, and therefore cease to fulfill their functions.

Let's talk about the crisis of one year, about the most important tasks that are being solved at this stage. At the end of the first year of life, the social situation of complete merging of the child with the adult seems to explode from within. The kid begins to understand and distinguish: I am a kid, and he is an adult, we are different. This is the essence of the crisis of the first year of life. At this age, the child acquires a certain degree of independence: the first words appear, walking skills develop, actions with objects develop. But the range of possibilities for implementing this is still quite limited.

Your baby has taken his first step. The space of its existence has expanded. Now he can independently travel around the apartment and not only, which means that there is an opportunity to find many very interesting things that simply require perfect study and experimentation with them. But for some reason, it turns out that mom can use all the items in the kitchen, but not the child. Dad is allowed to work with tools as much as he wants, and again, his son or daughter is forbidden to pick up nails or a hammer. Why? Children's curiosity, the desire to get acquainted with everything that is around, is a natural need of this age. And the prohibitions that the baby does not understand cause him to protest, which is manifested by crying, stubbornness, dissatisfaction, that is, everything that surprises parents so much, and has received the name "crisis" in psychology.

Of course, each child develops according to his own special "schedule", because the baby can take the first steps at nine months, and at a year and three months. So the first manifestations of the crisis often appear at different times. But more often this happens precisely when the child is one year old.

Where did whims come from?

What happens to your baby during this period? Parents may notice the appearance in the behavior of their child of stubbornness, capriciousness. Previously obedient and calm, during this period he begins to act up for any reason, and very often parents cannot understand what caused such an “attack”.

First of all, it is worth emphasizing that your baby already understands a lot and can, but he still does not know how to talk about his desires. The child learns the world more and more actively. Previously, he could not walk, his movement was limited. From the time when the baby learned to walk, his world has expanded and filled with many things that "require" attention to themselves. The child travels around the apartment and learns how the stove is arranged in the kitchen, what is hidden in the shoe closet, he also strives to pick up each item, inspect, twist, try "by the tooth". But suddenly from the side of the parents it is heard "it is impossible." He does not understand the reasons for this at all. Therefore, he tries again and cries when the ban sounds again. The child tries by all means available to him to express his desires. The kid still does not know how to speak to express his dissatisfaction. And new attempts to cognize the world cause new prohibitions.

Thus, the will of a small person for the first time collides with the will of an adult. A child in a year wants to act on his own, he is no longer satisfied with the position of the doll, which is fed, swaddled, given toys when they want, they talk, when they don’t want, they don’t talk. He strives to be independent, and to communicate on his own. And here is another paradox - there is a desire for communication, but there are no words to express all this yet. It can be difficult to understand what the baby wants, although he tries to express his own desires and needs.

Thus begins the crisis of the first year. It becomes deeper, the more parents contradict the wishes of the baby. The whims of the child, in fact, are an indication that the time has come for adults to change their behavior and attitude towards their own child. The old stereotypes of communication no longer work. And if your child wants to grab a spoon with his hands at the very moment when you feed him, then it’s easier to give him this item in his hands, and take another one for yourself and continue the process that was stopped for a short time. It does not matter if the baby is all smeared with porridge, but you calmly feed him, and after all just clean up and wash your child.

Is it time to act?

Parents need to understand that the moment has come when it is very important to give the child more independence. It is necessary to feel that the time has come to do something not for the baby, but with him. During the first half of the second year of life, you can teach him to use a spoon, eat soup with bread, drink from a cup, take off his hat, tights, and later on dress, wash himself, etc. If this stage is skipped, then later, at 3-5 years old, the child simply does not want to do these things that are already uninteresting for him, the more he gets used to what his mother dresses, washes, and feeds.

You need to be attentive to the first manifestations of children's independence: the child reaches for a spoon to eat himself, takes away his mother's hat to put on, tries to put the cubes one on top of the other, and is very unhappy when someone tries to help. If parents treat these first manifestations of the child's activity with understanding and patience, then over time they will be rewarded with the independence of the baby, confidence, and cheerfulness.

The more things that adults allow a child, the easier it is to insist on prohibitions. And by making sure that dangerous objects are out of the reach of the baby, you can safely let him explore your house - all drawers, drawers, lower shelves. And who knows, perhaps today's game of a son or daughter with a saucepan in the future will turn into a cooking talent. Of course, you do not need to encourage any desires of the child. Prohibitions must be smart, clear, unambiguous and agreed between all adult family members. If you forbid something, then in the process of this, the baby’s attention should simply be diverted to something else, or you can offer a smart alternative: it is forbidden to write on father’s documents, but there is a leaflet - this is allowed here. But you should never play with a knife (so as not to get hurt) or boots (they are dirty) or expensive things (an alternative in the form of an old broken alarm clock can turn into a “disassembly” of a new watch tomorrow, because the child simply does not realize the difference, although he is already very good at drawing analogies : this is a watch, if I can play this one, then I can play all the others).

If parents have shown enough tact, patience and flexibility in relation to the baby, then the first crisis stage in his development will end and a calm time will come. Of course, this is not for long. But while the child becomes obedient again, calm. Moreover, the baby has already become more independent and mature, he can and knows much more than before.

Your child is already a person with his own desires, feelings, emotions, he just does not know how to express them yet. And if you take more time to try to understand the baby, then any crisis will pass faster, easier, and with less emotional loss for both parties.

You are surprised: your always obedient, quiet and calm child suddenly became capricious. Every parent faces this problem sooner or later. But everything has its reasons and explanations.

Children begin to show their discontent and stubbornness at an early age. The fact is that at the age of 1 to 5, kids go through the so-called “perestroika”, during which they learn a lot of new things, understand adults more and experience emotional conflicts more strongly. Just at this time, the child begins to show his whims, while no persuasion and punishment can help calm the baby. It should be remembered that children's whims are a kind of way to attract attention to themselves, in order to achieve what they want. The kid can cry, scream, stomp his feet, throw things, and if he still achieves what he wants, he will resort to this method more and more often. In order to understand how to respond to the whims of the child, you should first find out the cause of their manifestation.

Why is the child naughty?

The origins of this behavior are usually very simple, but parents are not always able to immediately determine them. So, the reasons that the child is constantly naughty may be:

• various diseases;
• fatigue or lack of sleep;
• desire to achieve something desired;
• the need for the attention of others.

Capricious child - what to do?

How to deal with the whims of the child?

Children's whims can be stopped. If the baby starts to act up, keep calm. Perhaps the reason for their manifestation lies in the lack of impressions, so during the day try to switch it from one activity to another. Give your baby enough time, kiss and hug him, walk with him on the street and play at home. In no case do not leave the child alone for a long time with the TV turned on, as this can cause overexcitation of the baby. And, of course, never scare a child with punishments. Tune in to the positive and believe that the child will improve!

The site's journalists would not like to talk about this, but the fact is, when it comes to the whims of your children, you may be the reason for this. Paradox? Yes! It's a shame? Of course! But nothing can be done, everything comes with experience, so there is no point in despairing. You just understand that if you behave incorrectly, and they will learn to control and manipulate you. Can you solve the problem? Of course.

Children waving their arms, squealing and screaming "I want it now!" - cause us by no means the warmest feelings. Therefore, we often retreat. But if you give up and let things take their course, children's irritability will progress. Alas, they don't outgrow it. And as children get older, bad behavior only gets worse.

There are ways and means to help you avoid childish outbursts while keeping both your children and those around you safe.

We have a very naughty child. What to do?

What is the purpose of your child being naughty? Why is the child naughty? This is very important to understand. Because if you change your reaction to his temper tantrums and stop doing what he wants, the whims will stop. Most children use whims as a way to get what they want. If you say "no" sixteen times to your daughter who wants a toy you can't afford by all means, and say "yes" the seventeenth time, she'll know she has a way to turn your "no" into " Yes".

Learn to intervene at the right time. If you systematically try to avoid whims, they become less frequent. Children are usually prone to whims when they are tired, hungry or overexcited. Write down when whims happen most often. What time of day? What preceded them? What did you do? What did the child do? If you see history repeating itself, change your routine and keep recording the changes. If you do not notice the system appear, make notes about the time of getting up, eating, resting, going to bed and compare with the time when the child is naughty most strongly. For example, the cause of moodiness in the middle of the day may be low blood sugar in the child - so he is irritable. To avoid this, it is enough to give the baby a banana between breakfast and lunch or move lunch an hour earlier.

Do not give in to children who are naughty because they want something. When you answer a child's demand with "no", explain why. For example: "No, you can't eat a chocolate mouse until you've had lunch."

Children are extremely persistent. They will keep trying to get what they want, especially if whims have worked before. Many people throw "monstrous" tantrums when "normal" whims don't help. If you give up because of a "monstrous" tantrum, you will be in serious trouble. You made it clear to your child that perseverance is rewarded, you just have to try.

Toddlers who have just started walking often throw tantrums because they cannot do something. By offering them a choice, you help them feel less helpless. For example, if you decide that your son will have soup for lunch, offer him a choice: tomato or chicken. Don't ask if he wants soup if you're not ready to hear "no".

What to do at the peak of the capriciousness of the child?
Before you speak to your child, take a few deep breaths and get ready to put your military campaign plan into action. An uncontrollable kid does not understand the voice of reason. Squat or kneel down so you can look into his eyes. Tell them it's okay to be angry, but it's not necessary to hurt everyone. No matter how upset or angry you are, speak calmly. Yelling, spanking, and the like will only make matters worse. Tell your child that anger should not win over him. Explain that everything will be fine. If the baby swings his arms and tries to hit you, say that you will hug him tightly and hold until he calms down so that others do not get hurt. Children who lose control of themselves are usually frightened and, if hugged and held close, often calm down. When the baby calms down a bit, take him to another place so that he finally comes to his senses. If you're at home, this could be a nursery, but if you're in a mall, a changing room or your car will do.

Children measure their own lives by reacting to them, and if buzzing and buzzing go unnoticed, they turn into screeches. If this does not help, they begin to yell loudly; then, if you scold and reassure them, they find the experiment a success and start again. The baby will sit quietly in your arms if you do nothing, but if you are reading, he lacks reaction, and he immediately goes into hostile action.

What are your actions after a childish tantrum?
After noisy temper tantrums, children usually feel insecure and upset. They need time to gather before talking about what happened. Many are unable to explain or even understand what happened. Break down a whim into its constituent emotions. Think of it as anger plus at least one of the other emotions. When you find ways to help children deal with “extra” emotions, they will lessen their need to feel angry. For example, it is enough to help an upset child to get a toy that has been placed too high; you need to spend more time with a jealous older brother, and a little daughter who is afraid of the dark should leave a night light by the crib in the evening.

Anastasia Tyrina
Parent meeting "Whims and tantrums of children 4-5 years old"

Parent-teacher meeting

whims(translated from French whim, whim)- pursuit children to achieve something forbidden, unattainable and impossible at the moment.

Usually whims are causeless, almost always accompanied by crying, screaming, stamping feet, scattering things.

It is necessary to note the most the main thing: whims of children 4 - 5 years of age - this is age-related negativism. The child begins to do everything in defiance. Parents lead him one way, and he goes the other. Just now he demanded an apple, but having received it, he refuses to eat it.

We offer parents give your examples.

Explanation of what's happening following:

All this is called asserting one's own "I AM".

Positively, the child is not yet able to assert his personality and comes from the contrary. “You are, and I am the other way around!”.

The child wants to prove that he also has his own opinion, which differs from the opinion of adults.

Of course, this period is difficult for both children, and for parents.

But it must be remembered:

* this period will soon pass;

* it is necessary to treat this period with patience and understanding (We are not angry with the child when he capricious at high temperature. Consider that your child has a temporarily increased degree of stubbornness)

However, parents you need to know how to behave with children during this period.

We bring to your attention parents of the situation of children's behavior 4 - 5 years and formulate the rules together How to treat children whims?»

REGULATIONS:

1. First situation

The mother of 4-year-old Sasha, walking with him in the park, met a friend whom she had not seen for a long time. They started talking. Sasha almost immediately became act up pull mom by the hand words: "Well, mom, let's go!"….

What should mom do in this situation?

RULE 1: SWITCH CHILDREN FOR ACTION

Think of an activity for child: swings, roundabouts. The child will understand that you have taken care of him, paid attention to him, and will be happy to ride the carousel. And you continue the conversation. The child must know that parents also have their own business, desires.

Very often when parents came to visit, the child starts act up- draw attention to yourself. Need something to keep the child busy (puzzles, mosaics, coloring books, etc.)

2. Second situation

Marina was a long-awaited child. That's why her parents cherished her, doted on her soul, indulged all her whims. Even at the age of 5, they dressed and undressed her themselves, constantly took care of the child. But at some point and parents and caregivers noticed: the child became very capricious, permanent tantrums, tears, disobedience.

Why is this happening to the girl?

RULE 2: EXCLUDING HYPERCARE IN EDUCATION OF A CHILD

Pampered, caressed children are often capricious. Excessive attention and overprotection tire the baby. The child becomes naughty, achieves his own, since there was permissiveness - "as long as the child does not get upset".

3. Third situation

Artem is 4 years 3 months old.

Artem became capricious and stubborn child. Moreover, stubbornness flared sharply and suddenly: daily tears, tantrums.

Recently in the family a girl was born. Mom devotes considerable time to the newborn Polina, because the girl born prematurely. And then there are the unreasonable Artem's whims, which "Knock Mom Out".

With this, in your opinion, are connected whims Artem and how to help a child?

RULE 3: PAY MORE ATTENTION TO CHILDREN

Modern research shows that most parents touch their children only need: helping to get dressed, get into the car. Rarely seen parent who just like that, without any reason, will hug the child, kiss, stroke him on the head.

Parents spend little time with children. The reasons may be employment parents, work, the birth of the second - third child, etc. And, as a result, the child becomes capricious- attracts attention.

4. Fourth situation

The mother of 4-year-old Alyosha every day, returning home from work, picks up her child from kindergarten and goes to the store with him. And every day Alyosha arranges in the store tantrums: asks to buy one or the other, falls to the floor, screams, squeals and cries. Mom has no choice but to buy the child everything that he asks for.

How to avoid this situation?

RULE 4: IN THIS CRISIS PERIOD IT IS BETTER TO AVOID CRITICAL MOMENTS

For example, if your child rolls tantrums in the store, then exclude trips to the store with the child for this period. Go to the store without him, buy everything you need for a few days.

RULE 5: DO NOT PAY ATTENTION AND LEAVE

During hysterical, whims no slaps and cuffs, no disputes and persuasion. Tantrums and whims love"spectators". Once "spectators" gone - passed and hysterics.

RULE 6: IN TIME HYSTERIC SWITCH THE ATTENTION OF THE CHILD

In the moment tantrums a child can go to the window and pay attention, for example, to a dog in the yard, or a large car that has left the garage. As a rule, curiosity takes over, and tears dry up.

RULE 7: UNITY OF REQUIREMENTS IN THE FAMILY

Children are very observant and understand perfectly well that you have to go to your grandmother for sweets, "soda" grandfather buys, mom does not allow to climb high, and dad - vice versa.

In this world, which is still difficult for a child, it is difficult for him to figure out how to do the right thing, and inconsistency parents confuses him even more.

And the baby equally loves both mom and dad, and grandma and grandpa.

No adult raising a child should override the prohibitions of another adult.

RULE 8: BE CONSISTENT IN REQUIREMENTS FOR CHILDREN

Parents very often inconsistent in their requirements for children. For example, yesterday, a mother allowed her son to play with her favorite vase, but not the next day, because she thought that the child might break it. And the baby is not clear - “Why was it possible yesterday, but not today?”

RULE 9: BE PATIENT

Difficult at tantrums baby stay calm but be patient. Enter into negotiations when the child calms down. You can hug him and sympathize: "I'm sorry you couldn't resist", "I know you felt bad". Teach your child to express their dissatisfaction with words. Ask: "What do you feel?".

Teach your child to apologize for their actions, and next time it will be easier for him to manage himself. After tantrums tell how it upset you that he raged over a trifle. Reassure the child that you love him so that he does not feel guilty.

RULE 10: TRAIN YOURSELF TO A NEW RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD

At this age, children want to be able to choose. They also want to decide which playground to go for a walk, who to visit. And we, adults, constantly dictate our conditions to them. If the child and I are like friends, partners, then the child is proactive, knows how to make decisions on his own. And if we suppress his will, then often such children cannot answer a single question without looking back at parents.

Output: the family plays a decisive role in the development of the child, has a decisive influence on the emotional well-being of the child.