Family rules and regulations. Family member rules
The ideal family does not have ideal rules because such families simply do not exist. Although, of course, everyone has their own understanding of the ideal and we all strive for it. Today we will talk about the rules by which every self-respecting family should live.
If disciplines were taught in schools that illuminate moments of family life, values and traditions, then the success of marriages would certainly increase. Young people entering into sacred union often have no idea what kind of work it is.
We follow the rules
Married life must necessarily begin with truth and sincerity towards each other. Future spouses should be aware of their actions, be confident in choosing a chosen one.
The family is a small society, which, in order to live together, must establish its own small laws and respect them. The moral rules of the family include:
- it is necessary to recognize each other as the highest value;
- disinterested care and love for the spouse;
- compassion and participation in the life of all family members, readiness to help and support;
- a conscious desire to promote the common good of the family;
- rejection of selfishness and focus on the interests of others.
The rules of communication and relationships in the family should be based on the recognition of the role of each family member. We all play social roles in one way or another. With parents, each of us plays the role of a child, at work we are colleagues, colleagues, at the institute - students. In the family, as in any society, we are also assigned certain “parties”. The woman acts as a wife and mother. This means that caring for her husband and children is paramount to her. Respect for the spouse, recognition that he is the head of the family, love and the desire to be one with him - such an attitude should be seen by children. They are very observant, “fix” every word and copy their parents in everything. Therefore, they should set a worthy example.
The husband, in turn, is obliged to get used to the role of a caring husband and father, the protector of people dear and close to him. A reverent attitude towards a woman, respect and admiration for her. In no case can 
to use physical force, not to mention the fact that such a “manner of communication” would be used in front of children. This is low, vile and immoral.
Trust and respect between children and parents is very important. If a mother can become a faithful friend and adviser to her daughter, then many problems in education can be avoided. And do not forget to instill in children the elementary rules of etiquette that originate in the family. Respect for elders, the culture of communication and behavior, the rules of table etiquette - for all this, the child will definitely tell you later: “Thank you!”.
In order for the life of a family to be happy, it must have traditions that unite people, give stability to life, and affirm family values. Help with this friendly family rules, which can be accepted and recorded at the family council. Here is an example of such rules:
- The birthday of family members is an occasion to say kind words to them. Even if someone close to you cannot attend the celebration, he must find a way to send congratulations. In general, many family traditions are associated with birthdays. For example, publishing a wall newspaper for a birthday or
- Don't skip Sunday (Saturday) lunches (dinners). A very good rule is to meet with your circle at the family table, share news, discuss interesting topics. You can start a family game library and spend an evening playing fun board games
- Keep old and create new traditions. In many cases friendly family rules based on tradition. They express the connection of generations, the accumulated experience of communicating with close people. Times change, some customs remain in the past, new ones take their place. For example, some time ago it was customary to send postcards in envelopes for the New Year to relatives living in other cities. Today, communication means allow you to congratulate them on Skype, but many follow the old tradition and send postcards, and it's so nice!
- Thank you! Simple human gratitude means so much to every member of the family, but, unfortunately, many underestimate its value and forget to say "thank you" for the help. Learn to thank people yourself and teach children to do it. The very meaning of the word "thank you" carries in itself "good", goodness. Give these bright emotions to all members of your family, and ideally to all the people who surround you!
- Do what you are responsible for. One of the most important friendly family rules - Ability to keep promises. It is important to agree on this all together and observe strictly. If children grow up in a family where they do not throw words to the wind, they begin to take what is said seriously and keep their word. This forms responsibility as a property of personality and quality of character.
- Family first, then everything else. Not everyone shares this rule, judging by how some adults prefer to spend their weekends separately from their children, “dropping” them on one of the grandmothers. It is important to plan a joint vacation so that from an early age the younger members of the family understand the value of spending time together.
- "Sor remains in the hut!" The old proverb that you should not take dirty linen out of the hut is very wise: - a temporary phenomenon, unless you start kindling them with the help of friends and neighbors. By showing weakness and sharing family problems with others, you run the risk of receiving criticism and gossip instead of sympathy, from which you yourself and your household will suffer. Family problems are not for other people's eyes and ears!
- Take care of older family members! The wealth of every family is the elderly. They are the main bearers and keepers of family traditions, they are living witnesses of another time in which neither you nor your children lived. Get together more often, arrange family remembrance evenings, saturate this memory: the world that the older family members represent will leave with them
- Please yourself and others just like that! In a friendly family, everyone loves to please each other. Isn't it wonderful when dad brings home a bouquet, even though there are no holidays planned? Or if mom cooks a delicious multi-course dinner just because she's in a good mood? And how nice it is when a child draws a portrait of a friendly family and gives it to his family! Positive emotions preserve health, prolong life, give energy and strength. So why not introduce such a rule?
Undoubtedly, your family also has interesting traditions that you might want to talk about. Try to turn them into the rules of a close-knit family.
The class hour is aimed at forming a value attitude and respect for the family, updating knowledge of the rules of behavior in the family. When studying the topic, the following control elements of the content are used: love, friendship, goodwill, empathy, respect, empathy, care, morality, conscience, shame, guilt. Parables, proverbs, puzzles and riddles are used in classroom materials.
Recommendations for working with the materials of the thematic lesson (class hour) "Seven Rules of the Family"
or the quest "In search of family treasures"
for students of 3-4 grades
Session option [PDF ] [DOCX ]
Presentation [PDF] [PPTX]
Tasks for students (worksheet) [ DOCX]
Target: the formation of ideas about the family, the value attitude and respect for the family, knowledge of the rules of behavior in the family, understanding the need for their implementation.
Tasks:
- education in students of the national basic values of Russian society, such as "family";
- motivation of children to expand knowledge about the rules of behavior in the family, about culture and family traditions;
- development of ethical feelings, goodwill and emotional and moral responsiveness, understanding and empathy with the feelings of other people;
- fostering a respectful attitude towards older people, relatives, relatives, friends, developing the skills of cooperation with adults and peers in different social situations.
Task number 1. What do you think what will be discussed today?
Answer the questions:
- What is common between the words: sweetness, fret, fret, boat, fount, treasure, get along, palm, pancakes, okay, young, marmalade, chocolate, Hellas, discord?
- What does the word "lad" mean?
* In the dictionary of V.I. Dahl read: "Ladom" - "in order, plainly, in a way, efficiently." The word "lady" also means "love". Lado, Lada - that was the name of the betrothed, spouse. The favorite was called Ladushka. “Frets are the most expensive”, “My dear, don’t scold me.”
look video clip .
Prepare answers to the questions:
- What did the elder say in the letter? How is it possible for all members of the family to live in peace without quarreling and without offending each other? What does "Good Family" mean?
- What do you think is necessary for a family to be strong and happy?
* Only three words were written on paper: love, forgiveness, patience. And at the end of the sheet: a hundred times love, a hundred times forgiveness, a hundred times patience.
* At home should be interesting, and the family should give good food to the imagination and feelings. A smile and positive emotions - sympathy, peace of mind, consolation, confidence, optimism - will create what can be called a family hearth that unites people around itself, warms them, gives food to feelings and rest to the soul. In such a house, good mood and happiness always reign.
Task number 3. Solve the puzzle. Explain the meaning of the proverbs:
- "A mother's heart warms better than the sun";
- "Whoever they don't like, they don't listen to."
Task number 4. Read the poem. Find a family treasure. This word is repeated twice in the poem.
The main thing in the family Love.
She forgives everything.
There will be no grief and worries for those
Who about love knows everything.
Answer the question: "Why is it important for families to love each other?
* Only when true love reigns in a family, does it become the highest value, an irreplaceable center of sincerity and human warmth.
* To love means to understand each other from a half-word, from a half-look, it means to live together and happily. Let's remember the words of the writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery: "Not to look at each other, but to look in the same direction - that's what it means to love."
Task number 5. Solve riddles.
One helps the other
The second misses the first.
One is always happy for the other
And each for the other Brother.
* * *
We have two girls in our family
Adults do not take their eyes off them,
They have funny pigtails.
They are funny sisters
.
Task number 6. Read the poem "Younger Brother" (M. Skrebtsova).
Answer the questions.
Task number 7. Answer the questions:
- How did the hero of the poem treat his younger brother?
- Tell what games the older brother can play with the younger.
- What should older and younger siblings do in the following situations:
Your sister or brother is sick;
Your parents come home late from work.
Task number 8. Solve the puzzle. Answer the questions:
- What is the name of this family treasure?
- Guess the rebus, insert the missing letters in the poem:
What is important in a family or that.
W or that about everyone around.
And we take care
From grandmother's kind hands.
Task number 9.
Answer the question: "What is respect? Write your answer in one word.
(Are given reference words: understanding, resentment, kindness, help, care, anger, acceptance, friendship, trust, reverence, tolerance, cooperation, good deeds, bad deeds).
* Respect for everyone around you, respect for another person, for his experiences, needs and interests - the leading requirement of moral relationships between people in general and family members in particular.
* In a family where respectful relationships are built (senior - to each other and to the younger, and younger - to the elders and to each other), there is also mutual assistance.
Task number 10. Choose from the proposed cards those that could be included in the "Rules for respecting yourself and others."
Task number 11. Solve the puzzle. What other family treasures have you found?
Answer the questions:
- How do you understand the expression "mutual trust", "community of interests", "attachment"?
- Why do people need friendship?
* In the explanatory dictionary of Sergei Ivanovich Ozhegov, the following definition is given: "Friendship is a close relationship based on mutual trust, affection, common interests." It can be said with confidence that a house in which there are feuds, where there are no good relations between elders and younger ones, cannot be called happy. The most important signs of friendship are mutual understanding and empathy.
Task number 13. Watch the video clip. Solve the puzzle.
Busy with good deeds at home
Kindness quietly walks around the apartment.
Good morning with us
Good afternoon and good hour.
And where do you ask
So much kindness in the house
What of this kindness
Flowers are blooming.
Explain the meaning of the proverbs:
- "Life is given for good deeds";
- "A kind word and a cat is pleased."
What does it mean to be kind, sympathetic, sensitive, friendly people?
Task number 14. Read the story "Cookies" (V. Oseeva).
When discussing needs to be considered such concepts How: morality, guilt, shame, conscience by answering the questions:
- What was everyone's mood at the beginning? ( Merry).
- Why did mom and grandmother change their mood?
- What were your grandmother and mother thinking? ( About what their children did wrong).
- What do you propose to do to Misha and Petya? ( Ask your mother and grandmother for forgiveness.)
- What is the meaning of the story?
Why are all treasures found are family heirlooms? Come up with one more necessary word (or several) for the casket of family values, make a rebus for it.
They concern various aspects of family life - from the distribution of roles, functions and places in the hierarchy to the daily routine and allowing family members to openly express their thoughts and feelings. The rules show what is allowed in the family and what is not, what is considered good and bad, that is, they represent an element of family ideology.
They are divided into vowels and non-vowels. For example, such as: “Children should not interrupt adults”, “Parents set the time when the child needs to go to bed”, “Grandma is busy, she watches TV” - clearly proclaimed. The other part of the rules is known to family members, but is not expressed openly: “The topic of mother’s alcoholism is forbidden”, “If you want to make peace with your father, admit your guilt and patiently ask for forgiveness”, “All the best is for the child, he is sick”, etc. Finally, considerable some of the rules are not understood by family members. They act in a certain way, without even thinking that in reality it would be possible to act differently.
Rules arise at different stages of the life cycle, often contradict each other, and therefore relatives must constantly agree on them. For example, before the birth of a child, both young spouses worked, evenly distributed household duties, and certainly devoted time to outdoor activities. After the birth, the wife went on parental leave, and the husband had to work much harder to support the whole family alone. If the old rules of “equal participation in household chores” and “active recreation” are not temporarily changed, then this will inevitably lead to a disruption in the functions of the family at a new stage in its life cycle.
It also happens that by their unconstructive behavior, relatives provoke the establishment of rules that do not satisfy them. For example, while the wife was on parental leave for three years, the husband earned money for everyone and gave it to the family. It was a vowel, an established and well-known rule. Then the child was sent to kindergarten. The wife went to work and now she could provide for herself and the child. Gradually, the husband began to give the family less and less money. The wife provoked this unspoken rule - she proudly decided to herself that “she won’t ask for more money, she won’t borrow from her husband, that’s enough.”
The law of stability requires conservation family rules in permanent form. Their change is a painful moment for all relatives. If one of the family members or other people (guest, teacher) breaks the rule, it can become an unwanted person and even an enemy of the family. For example, a wife no longer wants to obey the rule set by her husband, refuses to stay at home and goes to work. This leads to a protracted marital conflict. Or the teacher allows himself to make a remark to a child who is admired, praised and considered unique in the family. As a result, mother and father unite in the fight against the teacher and the school.
In modern Russian family culture, the rules on the distribution of roles in the family are extremely contradictory. On the one hand, there is a custom that the husband should be the head of the family and earn money. On the other hand, in Russian fairy tales, the image of a man is a person who succeeds only by obeying someone (a gray wolf, a humpbacked horse, a pike, a frog princess). The female folklore image is one's own strength and power (Vasilisa the Beautiful). It is no coincidence that the struggle for power and status in modern Russian families is one of the most powerful dysfunctions associated with the fact that there is no clear rule about gender inequality in culture.
Disrupt family functioning negative family rules(hard-coded and difficult to change). In those families where they can be changed and revised depending on the situation, family dysfunction occurs less frequently. Absence family rules and norms also poses a serious risk to mental health. Many children and adolescents with aggressive antisocial behavior come from such families. The vagueness of rules and norms, their inconsistency, lack of expression contribute to the growth of anxiety, confuses and leads to instability of the individual and family.
