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How to stop breastfeeding your baby without fever. How to wean a baby - the most effective tips

No matter how sad it is, sooner or later mom has to face the problem of how to stop. You definitely need to navigate different situations, know when it is best to stop breastfeeding, and you also need to be aware of what can happen to your body at one time or another when you decide to wean your baby. When is the best time to stop breastfeeding - before a year, after a year or later? Should I refuse to feed on the mother’s initiative or should I still pay attention to the baby?

What types of weaning are there?

1. Stop breastfeeding your baby naturally. This method is not so traumatic for both mother and baby. As the baby grows up, his need for breastfeeding decreases, and he slowly abandons the breast altogether and switches to adult food. This happens after one year. But you also need to remember about the measure; it is best to wean the child no later than 2 years of age.

2. Stop breastfeeding on your mother’s initiative. Mom can make such a decision due to various circumstances. The first common reason is self-weaning of the child from the breast, when the child himself abandons the breast. The second reason is the sudden end of feeding, most often for medical reasons.
Remember that the end of feeding should be stress-free, everything should be done with love, with patience, and most importantly gradually. You must also remember about your body, for which it is harmful to abruptly stop lactation.

3. Stop breastfeeding immediately after the baby is born. This decision is made when the mother is unwell and can infect the child.

What happens when you stop breastfeeding?

Remember also that if you stop eating completely, the milk will not disappear immediately anyway, this can only deplete the body.

Also, don't completely limit fluids because this can lead to dehydration.

Basic rules when stopping breastfeeding?

1. If you stop feeding on your own initiative, and the baby has an allergic reaction to formula, you need to urgently resume breastfeeding.

2. If you have not yet decided to continue breastfeeding or stop, try to maintain lactation for a while and express milk.

3. Consult a specialist. What is the best and correct way to stop breastfeeding.

Basic methods for stopping breastfeeding

1. You must be positive.

2. Remember that the process of completing feeding is very long.

3. Do not remind your child about the breast; let him gradually forget about it.

4. Change all the habits that you had when breastfeeding, sit in a different place, occupy the child during feeding with something else, distract the child.

5. Let your relatives come to your aid; for a while, let the baby go to bed with dad.

6. Try to replace feedings with something interesting for the child - prepare food, distract him with activities - a walk, reading, a new toy.

7. It is most difficult for a child to give up evening and night feedings; you can replace this procedure with a relaxing massage, reading a fairy tale, hugging or watching cartoons.

8. Separate from the baby for a while, but it is better not to do this, because it will be a very strong trauma for him.

9. Smearing something unpleasant on the chest, also be careful with this method, the child may be under severe stress or may be poisoned by that substance.

So, it is best to wean your child naturally, the optimal age is after 1.5 years, and your lactation will decrease and it will be less traumatic for the baby. Everything needs to be done gradually, calmly, under no circumstances should you yell at the child, because it is already a strong psychological trauma for him, try not to sharpen your attention on this, help the child go through this process painlessly and calmly.

The process of weaning a child from the breast: nuances and tips.

Young mothers love and worry about their babies very much. Many questions that a mother needs to accept cause them to panic. Of course, you don’t want to harm your own child.

A very important issue is weaning the child from the breast. This will be discussed further.

When is it better to stop breastfeeding your baby: signs

There is no consensus even among experts regarding the issue of feeding duration. Here opinions are divided into 3 sides:

Some pediatricians do not consider it necessary to feed a child after one year.
Other pediatric doctors believe that the child needs to get stronger and the period should be extended to one and a half years.
Radical-minded doctors are of the opinion that if a child wants his mother’s milk both after a year and after two, then he cannot be denied it.

But doctors are unanimous on one thing - you can’t stop the feeding process for up to six months. And if the mother can give him this, then the child should not be weaned from the breast under any circumstances.

But even up to one and a half years, mother’s milk is very useful for the child, because it retains its protective and anti-infective properties. With prolonged consumption of mother's milk, the baby's brain develops better, and food is digested faster.

And this process is extremely useful for a woman. After all, firstly, he maintains physical and psychological unity with the baby. And, secondly, feeding is a reducing factor in the development of breast cancer.

Signs that a child should not be weaned are:

Attachment of the baby to the breast at the request of the day during naps and at night
The baby's desire to be nourished with mother's milk even after complementary feeding
Restless behavior, especially before bed, baby searching for the breast

If you still decide to wean your baby, then you should do it gradually. Under no circumstances should you suddenly stop feeding. To begin with, switch to two or one feeding. And it’s best if this period falls during the appearance of baby teeth.

If the baby’s diet already includes complementary foods, then weaning from the mother’s breast is usually easier. It is important to understand what the mother wants to get when weaning her baby:

If she is driven by the desire to get to work, then, given that she will be at home in the evening hours, you need to wean the baby off morning feeding.
If a mother needs evening free hours, then this is when she needs to stop feeding the baby.
If time is not of the essence, then first of all, teach your child not to eat in the morning. Because in the evening, in a calm environment, it will be easier for you to put your child to sleep and be with him.

To begin with, before feeding a child up to one year old, you need to give 50 g of formula or kefir, and then breastfeed. After a couple of days, increase the amount of formula feeding by 3 times. Next, gradually increase the volume of complementary foods to replace the entire process of breastfeeding during the period you desire.

Gradually weaning the child, the mother also gradually loses milk. This process takes on average a month. If you need to wean your baby quickly, the milk will disappear in a couple of days.

But if there is a lot of milk, and for some reason you cannot feed the baby, then you will need to bandage your breasts.

Bandaging (bandaging) the chest happens as follows:

First you need to express your milk.
Take a lot of cotton wool and place it in a thick layer around your chest.
Take a wide bandage and tighten the glands for several days. Afterwards, remove it for a short time and repeat the procedure again. You need to wear the bandage until the milk disappears.
If you feel that your breasts are swollen again, then express the milk.

This will cause your milk to disappear within a few weeks to a month. During this period, the mother needs to drink little liquid.

There are times when a mother needs to go to work, but the child is still very small. But you don’t want to immediately accustom him to the mixture. This is where expressed milk comes to the rescue.

You cannot wean your child abruptly

In this case, the baby needs to be accustomed to a bottle at least a month in advance. Because the baby will be completely reluctant to eat from a bottle, waiting for his mother’s breast. So first, ask your dad or grandma to bottle feed your baby.

It is not the mother who should do this, since the baby remembers that his mother fed him differently and may not want to eat from a bottle with his mother. To begin with, try to get your baby to eat 50-70 g of milk, and breastfeed the rest. Gradually increase bottle feeding while you are away from home.

You cannot deprive a baby of mother's milk in the following cases:

For diseases, especially the gastrointestinal tract
In summer, at high temperatures
After vaccination

It is important to understand that weaning from mother’s milk is stressful for a child. And the younger the baby, the greater the stress. The child’s immunity may weaken, allergies, and gastrointestinal problems may appear.

But from a psychological point of view, it is easier for a six-month-old child to part with his mother’s breast than for a child one and a half years old. Because after a year the child already has close contact with his mother.

Therefore, if for some reason the mother does not feed the baby, then only she should bathe, dress and walk with him. Otherwise, the baby will be very lonely and will become very worried about the loss of his mother. Even while bottle-feeding, the mother should cuddle and stroke the baby as she did while breastfeeding.

IMPORTANT: Another pregnancy is not a reason to refuse to feed your child until six months.

In addition, many mothers noted that even when the child has already weaned, in moments of stress or fear, he begins to look for and ask for his mother’s breast. Don’t try to deprive him of this process too quickly, because this is the most wonderful period.

Expressing milk, milk stagnation when weaning a baby

As stated earlier, you need to wean your baby off the breast gradually. This question is very individual and depends on the woman herself, the amount of milk, the process and frequency of feeding.

If you gradually wean your baby off feeding, the milk may disappear within a month. In case of sudden refusal of feeding - for several days.

If your breasts swell and hurt, then you need to express a little milk. Even breast ligation sometimes requires pumping if a woman feels discomfort and pain.

There are situations when a woman experiences stagnation of milk. The main symptoms are:

Presence of hard lumps in the breast
Redness at the site of lump formation
Temperature increase

Reasons such an unpleasant event may be:

Feeding the baby at the same time.
Feeding the baby in one position.
Sleep in one position.
Tight underwear.
Reducing the amount of milk consumed and lack of pumping, the presence of milk residue.
Changes in the composition of milk. If the milk becomes too fatty (excessive consumption of nuts can lead to this).
Hot weather and a small amount of liquid consumed by the mother.

To prevent stagnation, you need to express in a timely manner. If you find lumps, then you need to massage your breasts and rub them. Yes, it hurts, but you have to endure it.

When rubbing, use baby cream or sunflower oil to avoid damaging the skin. After the lumps have softened, you need to express again.

Doctors also advise constantly changing the baby's position during feeding and feeding the baby as often as possible to prevent the formation of excess milk.

Compresses also help. To begin with, warm, warming, and after pumping cold to reduce swelling.

If during stagnation a woman develops a fever and persists for more than a day, she should immediately consult a doctor. Also, a trip to the doctor should not be postponed if the lumps do not soften and remain dense for more than 5 days.

Lactostasis: symptoms in nursing

Probably all mothers know about lactostasis, some from rumors, and some from their own experience. But one way or another, everyone knows that this disease should be avoided.

Lactostasis is the name given to stagnation of milk that forms in the breast. We talked about this a little in the previous section. But now let's look at this problem in more detail. Since this problem requires an immediate solution and brings quite a lot of discomfort to the mother.

Lactostasis is dangerous

The formation of lactostasis can be caused by two reasons:

Increased milk production
Impaired milk flow due to a blocked or narrow milk duct

Factors that contribute to the development of lactostasis, This:

Discrepancy between the amount of milk produced and the size of the lumen of the milk tube.
Flat or cracked nipple. In this case, breastfeeding becomes difficult.
Stress and intense physical activity during feeding. In this case, a spasm of the mammary duct occurs.
Ineffective milk sucking by the baby. This can happen when the baby is not latched to the breast correctly.
Wearing tight underwear, which causes compression of the chest.
Large breasts and their sagging, due to this, the outflow of milk from below the breast does not occur completely.
Being in a draft or cold.

Signs of lactostasis are:

Breast tissue thickening
Pain during palpation
Pattern of dilated veins on the skin of the chest
Tightness in the chest that persists even after feeding
Temperature increase

It is important to prevent lactostasis, as it can lead to mastitis in the future. As prevention It is important to remember the basic rules:

It is important to prevent milk from building up in the breasts. To do this, you do not need to drink a lot of liquid in the first week after birth. You need to drink no more than 1 liter of liquid.
Put your baby to your breast more often. Moreover, try to feed the baby with both breasts at one feeding.
If there is too much milk, then you need to express the excess milk.
Massage your breasts regularly, especially vigorously and thoroughly massage the lumps on your breasts.
If you feel more swelling in one breast, then give it to your baby more often so that he sucks all the milk out of it. But at the same time, do not forget about the second breast so that stagnation does not form in it.
Make compresses from Vishnevsky ointment, petroleum jelly and camphor oil or alcohol. After you express milk, apply a compress to the skin and cover it with cellophane on top. Secure the bandage with a bandage and keep it on for about 8 hours.
If you see a doctor, he may recommend an ultrasound massage or an oxytocin injection.

Medicines, tablets to stop lactation in women

When to stop breastfeeding is an individual matter. And no matter what doctors advise, the mother herself has the right to choose the optimal time to wean her child from the breast. The only correct decision that comes to a mother’s mind is stop lactation with medication.

But is it worth doing this, because WHO recommends a natural way to reduce lactation, namely, reducing the baby’s attachment to the breast. Medication interruption is recommended when it comes to emergency suppression of lactation. This happens during the postpartum period or if an abortion is performed at a long term.

Reasons for taking medications is:

Late miscarriage
Death of a child in childbirth
Mother's bad habits
Reception of chemotherapy by the mother due to the discovery of a malignant tumor
Active pulmonary tuberculosis
AIDS or HIV
Herpes on nipples

Abnormal development of female nipples
Mastitis with pus and resulting breast pathologies

But despite the general opinion that taking medications is harmless, many side effects are observed in this case. All medications greatly affect a woman’s hormonal background and create serious changes in it.

Side effects in this case are:

Attacks of nausea and vomiting
Headache and dizziness
Decreased pressure

Taking a course of drugs is up to two weeks; during this entire period, some side effects may be observed. It is important to keep certain tips in mind:

The choice of drugs and dosage should be up to the attending physician, no initiative.
Drugs should be prescribed only after examining the woman.
It is prohibited to use drugs to temporarily stop lactation. In this case, it is better to express milk.

The choice of drugs to stop lactation is small. Among them you can use:

Stilboestrol– the drug is quite harmful and is practically not used precisely because of the huge number of negative reviews. But it is still on the market.
Estrogen– this hormone must be combined with testosterone. After taking the drug, there is pain and the appearance of lumps in the chest.
Bromocriptine– used for severe mastitis or if the mother wants to stop breastfeeding. The action occurs due to the effect on prolactin synthesis.
Cabergoline- This is an alternative to the previous drug. In this case, the least number of negative reviews was noted. It is also offered for sale under the names Bergolak, Agapates, Dostinex.

Each of the drugs may have adverse reactions, so you should consult your doctor before taking it, and in case of the slightest negative condition, seek help and advice from a hospital.

How to stop breast milk lactation using folk remedies and methods: recipes

Since drugs are a rather harmful way to stop lactation, the right option would be to take herbal remedies.

Using sage is a quick and safe way to stop your baby from feeding. Considering that medications are harmful to health, and ligation of the breast can lead to mastitis or stagnation, folk remedies remain the safest solution to the issue.

Sage can be taken in several ways:

Oil– Divide 20 drops into 4 doses and consume until the milk disappears completely. You can also lubricate your chest with it to relieve inflammation.
Tincture– Add 1 tsp of herb to a glass of water. After infusing for an hour and a half, take a quarter glass throughout the day. By the end of the day the glass should be empty.
Herbal collection– add leaves picked from walnuts and hop cones to the sage herb. The first two components are 1 tsp each, the last one is 2 tsp. take the same as the infusion.
Decoction– for 2 tsp of herb you need to take 500 g of boiling water. This decoction should be taken 5 times a day, dividing it into equal portions.
Tea– collection in a bag is not very effective and has a weak gradual effect. You need to drink it for 7-10 days, 250 g per day.

Sage should not be used at:

Grass allergies
Pregnancy
Acute kidney diseases
Diseases of the nervous system
Acute gastrointestinal diseases

Peppermint also used if you need to stop lactation. According to the properties of mint, the action goes directly to the mammary gland. It is important to take mint correctly and complete the full course until milk is completely lost, otherwise a one-time dose may have the opposite effect: milk production will become more intense.

IMPORTANT: After taking mint, the baby should not be put to the breast, as its components will begin to accumulate in breast milk. These components are harmful to the child.

The basic recipe with mint is as follows:

Pour 2 tablespoons of dried mint leaves into 2 cups of warm water. Leave for an hour and a half and take 50 g three times a day before meals. You need to prepare it for one day, as the product spoils quickly.

A rather controversial issue is the use of cabbage leaves. How effective it is is not known for certain.

The cabbage needs to be rolled out to extract the juice. Place the sheet on your chest and secure with gauze. You need to keep the compress until the leaf withers.

Weaning spell

Only one is known CONSPIRACY, which, according to reviews, helps to wean the child from the breast - the mother should look out the window over the child’s head and say: “Just as the forest does not yearn for the tree, so the child would not yearn for the breasts.”

According to Dr. Komarovsky’s advice for weaning a child, you should:

Drink less fluid
Reduce sucking time
Eliminate pumping
Exercise
Stop drinking beer as a lactation stimulant
Eating garlic to spoil the taste of the milk and make it undesirable for the child

The mammologist advises mothers who want to wean their baby from the breast to use the following tips:

Reduce the amount of milk produced gradually. This can be achieved by breastfeeding your baby less often. If your breasts are full of milk, you need to express them periodically. Changes in color and fluid are a result of decreased milk supply.
You should wear thick underwear or a sports top. You should still not tighten your breasts, as this can lead to mastitis.

The mother needs to change her diet - reduce the liquid she drinks and remove foods that stimulate lactation.
Sometimes you just have to use medications. But this should be done only after consultation with a doctor.

Stopping breastfeeding is not an easy process. It is important to do everything slowly and gradually. Since sudden deprivation of a child’s mother’s milk can negatively affect his physical health and mental state in the future.

Video: How to properly end breastfeeding?

Mother's milk is the best food for babies. “If we stop breastfeeding, should we give the baby formula or water?” - young mothers often ask specialists, also interested in how to make the weaning process as painless as possible.

Often, young mothers are concerned about the question of what to feed when they stop breastfeeding their children in infancy.

Weaning should be gradual. If you stop breastfeeding abruptly, it can become a real stress for both the baby and the woman herself.

The question of how long to breastfeed a baby is still a matter of debate. Some experts believe that it is enough to feed a baby up to 6 months; some think that breastfeeding matters until the baby is one year old. However, WHO recommends breastfeeding children for at least 2 years. Currently, an increasing number of mothers follow the recommendations of the World Health Organization.

If a mother stops breastfeeding her baby at the age of 1 year, she need not worry about how to replace breast milk. But each case is individual and it is better for parents to consult a pediatrician on certain issues.

As a rule, after 1 year the baby begins to drink cow's milk, eat cottage cheese and other products containing valuable proteins. If a mother finishes breastfeeding earlier, she must replace breast milk with formula and offer it to the baby several times a day.

To stop breastfeeding as painlessly as possible, you need to reduce the number of feedings and their duration daily. There is no need to express excess milk, since this procedure stimulates the production of even more milk, and this is completely unnecessary in this situation.

There are special teas on sale to suppress lactation, as well as medications. Experts do not recommend using medications, as they have too powerful an effect on the mother’s body.

Some women tighten their breasts so that the milk “burns out”. This method of ending lactation is also no good, since the mother may not experience the most pleasant sensations and it is very difficult for the child to give up the breast in a short period of time.

If a woman wants to stop breastfeeding, she should exclude walnuts, tea with condensed milk and other foods that somehow stimulate lactation.

When you stop breastfeeding, you may encounter a phenomenon called stagnation of milk in the mammary glands. This is accompanied by very painful sensations, so the issue of giving up breastfeeding must be approached with a certain degree of responsibility.

If you stop breastfeeding and your breasts hurt, you can apply cabbage leaves to it. Compresses and applying honey cakes to the mammary glands also help to get rid of painful sensations. In addition to honey, they should include rye flour.

If you stop breastfeeding, you need to drink as little liquid as possible. It is especially not recommended to drink at night.

When the baby is over 1 year old, it is quite easy to stop breastfeeding, since milk comes in much smaller quantities, and the child no longer needs it so much. The baby is gradually becoming accustomed to adult food.

However, when finishing breastfeeding, it is worth paying attention to the psychological side of the issue. After all, the baby sucks the breast not only when he wants to eat. Snuggled close to his mother, he feels safe. During the weaning process, it is very important to maintain skin-to-skin contact. The mother should take the baby in her arms more often, hold him close, and spend time with him.

During the weaning process, you should not change clothes in front of your baby, expose your breasts, or walk around the house in underwear. This can serve as an additional reminder to the baby of warm mother's milk.

To make weaning painless for your baby, you should keep him occupied. It is important that he stops thinking about it for a while.

Weaning should be planned in advance. There is no need to stop breastfeeding during periods of stress or illness. After all, breast milk contains a lot of substances that can boost the baby’s immunity.

Also, do not stop breastfeeding during the hot season. In the heat, there is a very high risk of developing inflammatory processes in the breasts caused by stagnation of milk.

If a woman feels unwell and has a fever, she should definitely consult a doctor. Stagnation of milk in the breast can lead to very unpleasant consequences. That is why you should start treatment in a timely manner, and not hope that everything will go away on its own.

Some parents note that after finishing breastfeeding, their child became more independent and even matured a little. A new stage began in their life.

“If I stop breastfeeding when my baby is just a few months old, does that mean we won’t be able to form close emotional connections in the future?” - mothers often ask specialists. In fact, parents build relationships with the child and they can always compensate for the lack of long-term breastfeeding with their attention.

Weaning is a very important stage for both the young mother and the baby. To make this process as painless as possible, you should follow some rules. It is very important to wean your baby gradually, and not at once.

Important separation (we quit breastfeeding, how?)

Nadezhda Beshkova “Seven Nannies” magazine thanks certified breastfeeding consultant Tatyana Larionova, parenting psychology specialist Elena Mogilevskaya, pediatrician Olga Borisenko, perinatal psychologist and family psychotherapist Irina Vshivkova for their help in preparing the material.

About mothers who breastfeed their children for a long time and successfully, other women say with envy: “Lucky!” But if the baby is one and a half to two years old, and he doesn’t even think about giving up his mother’s milk? Psychologists, doctors and, of course, mothers who have somehow coped with this difficult task told Seven Nannies magazine about their views on the problem of weaning a child.

Milk is always good

Sometimes there are women who firmly know until what age they intend to breastfeed their baby or who have finally decided to stop breastfeeding. But much more often, a young mother is tormented by doubts: a friend convinces that good lactation and feeding is very convenient, the mother-in-law cites the example of her artificial children, the neighbor insists that breastfeeding such a large child is already indecent, and the pediatrician scares her with a delay in the baby’s development. From parenting magazines, a woman learns that almost any method of weaning initiated by the mother is harmful to the child. Such statements are usually made by lactation consultants and other active supporters of this idea. Their views are based on serious scientific research. Proponents of natural feeding believe that social prejudices and cultural attitudes about breastfeeding are harmful, and cite facts from the lives of animals as examples. Thus, baby apes usually feed on their mother's milk until their first molars appear. In humans, they begin to grow at five to six years of age. This means that we can assume that our nature also provides for breastfeeding the baby until the age of eruption of the first molars. Another example: in most primates, the age at which breastfeeding stops is half the age of sexual maturity. If we transfer this formula to humans, it turns out that children should eat mother's milk until they are six or seven years old. Nowadays, in non-industrial societies, mothers breastfeed their children until they are three to five years old, and in some tribes in India - until they are fourteen years old.
Of course, this option is unacceptable for most mothers, but still, if you are thinking about weaning your baby, it will be useful for you to know some facts.
Tatyana Larionova, certified breastfeeding consultant: The entire time a woman produces milk is divided into three important phases: the colostrum period, mature lactation and the so-called involution (gradual decline) of lactation. Normally, the last period begins between 1 year 8 months and three and a half years. The milk that is produced at this stage is very similar in composition to colostrum: it contains many leukocytes and immunoglobulins, which still bring great benefits to the baby’s growing body. A child who has been fed involutive milk for at least a month is protected from infectious and colds for at least six months. At the same time, babies who are weaned without waiting for lactation to subside, as a rule, get sick in the very first days after this event. Therefore, I would advise mothers not to make active attempts to wean the baby from the breast until milk involution begins. By what signs can it be identified? Firstly, at least 1 year and 8 months must pass after childbirth. Secondly, if you haven’t breastfed your baby for about a day, and it hasn’t filled up to its “silicone” state, most likely, the involution stage has already begun. In addition, the stage of lactation your body is in can be determined by your baby's reaction to weaning. If your ability to produce milk is in its prime, the child will certainly feel it and will definitely rebel against such an “inhumane” mother’s act. But babies, as a rule, refuse involutive milk more calmly; they can easily be distracted by playing or talking.

For those who adhere to this point of view, the popular belief that breastfeeding should only be done until one year of age seems absolutely meaningless. “Why exactly until a year?” - they are amazed. Does the mother’s body, exactly one year after giving birth, begin to produce milk that is completely useless for the child? No, numerous studies say the opposite. In the second year of life, with mother's milk, the baby receives 95 percent of the daily requirement of vitamin C, 45 percent of the required amount of vitamin A and 35 percent of the daily requirement of nutrients. The latter is especially valuable in those moments when the child is sick: a sick baby usually refuses to eat, but sucks his mother’s breast with pleasure. Long-term breastfeeding is extremely beneficial for children with neurological manifestations, because during sucking the blood supply to the brain improves. Babies born by caesarean section or induced labor need a smooth, gentle adaptation to the world around them and separation from their mother’s body. All this ensures breastfeeding in the best possible way. Therefore, many mothers around the world intend to feed their baby with their milk until the baby himself refuses to breastfeed. This usually occurs between two and a half and three and a half years.

Mom's love is not only breasts

Some psychologists look at the problem of weaning a little differently.
Elena Mogilevskaya, specialist in parenting psychology: Of course, in symbiosis with each other, mother and child feel great. The baby is recharged with the mother’s energy, feels harmony with the outside world and is not afraid of anything. Breastfeeding is just such an idyll, which is why many women strive to extend it longer. On the other hand, no one is calling for keeping the baby in the womb, not giving birth to him, just because then his integrity with his mother will be violated, the feeling of security will disappear. Weaning is a necessary stage in the separation of a person from the mother’s body, as important as childbirth. It is impossible to grow up without it. In order to reach a new level of maturity, to become stronger and more independent, a child must experience some stress commensurate with his age. And at 12-18 months the baby is quite ready to become physically independent of the mother’s body. I believe that by the age of one and a half years, a child must go through a “forced” (initiated by the mother) interruption of breastfeeding, otherwise his development will be greatly retarded. It has been convincingly proven that a child who continues to be breastfed at this age can speak much worse than his peers: his diction and vocabulary suffer. The baby has no need to improve his speech if all his needs are easily satisfied by his mother. By the way, for the same reason, breastfeeding interferes with the social development of the child. To confirm these words, we can cite a common situation in a sandbox. For example, two-year-old children did not share a bucket or scoop, and one of them was offended. A baby whose mother is still breastfeeding will most likely immediately run to her for comfort. And when the baby is in his mother’s arms, he calms down, the conflict will not be so important for him. And in vain. After all, at this age it is time for children to learn perseverance and diplomacy in the company of their peers. And the mother’s breast, which replaces the whole world, simply distracts the baby from all conflicts and does not allow him to gain independence. In my opinion, breastfeeding, so indispensable at the beginning of a baby’s life, is very advisable to stop by the age of one and a half years.

About departures, brushes and brilliant green...

When you have taken into account all points of view and decided at what age to wean your baby, all that remains is to decide on the main thing - how? In this regard, experts advise the following. Weaning should not occur in damp, slushy weather, when pathogenic bacteria are easily activated. In extreme heat, there is a high risk of intestinal infections. A baby left without mother's milk, which stimulates the immune system, becomes vulnerable to these diseases. In short, the most suitable times to stop breastfeeding are February-March and September-October. To relieve painful sensations in the chest and reduce lactation, you can make a compress of camphor oil or drink an infusion of chamomile and sage. Under no circumstances should you tighten your breasts with a tight bandage, as this leads to compression of the milk ducts and very often to lactostasis.
Whatever method of weaning you choose, be it even tying on a brush, smearing brilliant green on your nipples, or going away for a week, you need to be absolutely sure that you are doing the right thing. The mother’s conviction, the deep-seated belief that everything is going as it should, is transmitted to the child and calms him down. Conversely, if you verbally intend to stop breastfeeding, but are not internally ready for this, then you will unconsciously do everything to continue breastfeeding. It will seem to you that the baby is suffering a lot, that he is feeling worse, and the child himself, sensing the mother’s insecurity, will definitely demonstrate these symptoms.

The good thing about weaning a child at an older age is that you can already come to an agreement with him. Make some kind of agreement with your baby, for example, “Let’s suck your boob only when you fall asleep. Do not you want to sleep? This means that milk is not allowed now.” The main thing is to be patient and have games that will distract your child from his favorite pastime. At every opportunity, tell your child that soon he will become an adult and will no longer “suck the boob” like a little one. Gradually getting used to your words, the baby will appreciate the delights of his new, adult position (for example, he has become independent, like dad). You can’t tell your child that mom no longer has milk, because this is not true, and the baby intuitively knows that milk is coming from you every time he approaches, and smells it. Do not undermine the child’s faith in the justice and kindness of his parents.

Irina Vshivkova, perinatal psychologist and family psychotherapist:
Mom’s love is not only breasts, but breasts are first and foremost LOVE.
Breastfeeding is a multifactorial process that consists of nutrition, physical and emotional contact, verbal and non-verbal communication. It is impossible to say for sure which of these components is more important. However, if the feeding process for mother and child becomes exhausting and painful (both sleep poorly, headaches, irritability, reluctance to continue feeding appear), then all the positive effects are reduced to “no”. Such feeding no longer occurs in the same rhythm, does not have the same emotional coloring and hormonal composition as before. In this situation, it is better to pump instead of breastfeeding and give the baby expressed milk or switch to artificial feeding. With this decision, we deprive the baby of breast milk, but maintain warm emotional contact with the child. If we feed in a stressful state, with irritation and rejection, then we deprive the child of everything. It is worth remembering the words of psychologist Winnicott: “Feeding without love is destructive.”
Of course, you don’t have to stop breastfeeding immediately as soon as something in this process starts to not suit your mother. First you need to try to find the cause of the irritation and try to change the situation or your attitude towards it. In some cases, you can even stop feeding for a while (if you wish, you can almost always resume breastfeeding). The main thing is that both the child and the mother are calm.

I am convinced that breastfeeding cannot in any way slow down the development of a child, since it is a natural process and nature itself has laid down the forms and timing of its regulation. Only a certain attitude of the mother towards the child can inhibit the development of the child. If the mother perceives the child the same way at six months, at one year, and at three, then he will begin to lag behind in development, regardless of whether breastfeeding continues or not. With each month of life, the mother should give the baby more and more freedom, opportunities for self-determination and choice, and help him gain confidence and socialization skills. With this attitude, the mother does not tie the child to herself by feeding, but simply provides natural nourishment (both emotional and hormonal). The child himself has the right to choose how long he needs to be “fed” in this way.
If long-term breastfeeding really led to disorders and delays in the development of speech and socialization, then these disorders would be primarily among those who were breastfed for a long time. However, there are children who were completely bottle-fed and at the same time absolutely infantile and dependent on their mothers. Reality suggests that the main role is played by the mother’s attitude towards the child, regardless of whether she feeds or not. That is, it’s about who feeds, and not about the feeding itself.

Rostov mothers shared with the magazine “Seven Nannies” their experience of stopping breastfeeding. We asked family psychotherapist Irina Vshivkova to comment on their stories.

Irina, 28 years old, Bataysk:
I breastfed my oldest child until she was 11 months old. I decided to time weaning to coincide with my husband and I leaving for the seaside. By that time, we switched to feeding once a day: I fed her in the morning and left. But milk began to arrive at sea. It didn’t get to the point of inflammation, but there was discomfort. I didn’t make such “willful decisions” with my daughter and fed her as long as she needed it. After a year, we again switched to one feeding per day: at about five in the morning. Sometimes she wouldn't wake up at that time and we would miss feedings. Gradually, my daughter began to ask for the breast less and less: 2-3 times a week. Accordingly, I produced less and less milk, and breastfeeding gradually ended.
Psychologist's opinion:
Mom herself answered the question about how to wean more comfortably. Naturally, with abrupt weaning, a woman has problems with her breasts. In addition, the experience of psychologists suggests that forced cessation of breastfeeding may in the future result in problems in the reproductive sphere of a man or woman (that is, that boy or girl who was abruptly weaned).

From a letter from reader Oksana Gellerstein, Rostov:
I am an experienced mother: I fed my first baby until he was 2 years and 2 months old, and now I am feeding my second. The desire to feed the child was great, so I set the bar at 1 year. He passed, but the baby had absolutely no intention of giving up the breast. I decided to feed as much as possible. But the unexpected happened. I needed to go to another city to take care of my mother after the operation (the baby was 1 year and 3 months old). At first I expressed milk, but there was very little time, my breasts hurt, and I decided to bandage them with a sheet. The pain went away, the breasts stopped filling with milk. A week later, I returned home and took my baby in my arms. Drops began to patter on the floor. I decided that the baby had done his “wet” job, but he was dry. It turned out that it was my milk flowing, which appeared again at the baby's touch. After that, I fed him for another year, although I soon went back to work. The milk actually gradually disappeared. Just one day my son said: “Mom, you don’t have milk, pour me some kefir!”
Psychologist's opinion:
The reader's story confirms the fact that breastfeeding can be restored. True, it is much easier to return to him if the separation was not too long, and the connection with the child is very strong.

Natalya, 21 years old, cook, Rostov:
I breastfed my Marinka until she was one and a half years old without any problems. No problem in the sense that there was always enough milk, and my daughter really liked it. But the difficulty was that many times a day, and very often in an inappropriate environment, Marinka came up to me and began to insistently demand boobs. She climbed into my arms and tried to undress me, but the girl is already big and physically strong. And you can’t explain to her that, for example, you can’t undress your mother in front of your grandfather. Immediately hysterical. In general, we decided that it was time to finish feeding. It was very difficult both mentally and physically. I tied my breasts with a towel to make it more difficult for Marinka to get there and to prevent milk from being produced anymore. My daughter cried, climbed up to me and demanded my boobs, I shouted that it was impossible, and when she approached, my breasts immediately filled with milk. The temperature rose, I finally decided to remove the bandage and express milk - I had almost a liter of it! I asked a friend for advice, and it turned out that I had bandaged it incorrectly. When she bandaged me, within a day the milk went away. Surprisingly quickly (within a couple of days) Marina forgot about her boobs, and after that she doesn’t ask anymore. We did not notice any changes in her behavior or attitude towards us.
Psychologist's opinion:
Two points need to be noted. The first is technical: if you decide to bandage the breast, then you need to bandage it correctly.
The second is psychological. The child's behavior described usually means that the baby wants more attention from the mother. Close and unlimited attention. Since the child does not yet know other ways to attract his mother’s attention, he often and demonstratively turns to the breast. Such behavior at this age should alert parents. It is necessary to teach the child other ways to establish emotional contact and interaction with people and especially with the mother. In cases where a parent is confused and cannot figure it out on his own, you can seek help from a psychologist.

Galina, 49 years old, Bataysk:
I breastfed my daughters only until they were a year old, then somehow, by itself, painlessly, the milk became less and less, and feedings stopped. But my mother suffered greatly at one time, trying to wean my brother Vanya from her breast. He was already about two years old, and he could only fall asleep at his mother’s breast. Someone advised her to tie a stiff brush to her chest. When Vanya reached into the neckline of his mother’s shirt, she warned him: “There’s a brush there, a prickly one!” And then he had just learned to speak well and loved to repeat everything he heard, so he himself said: “A prickly brush!” There were no hysterics, no screams, he perceived this “prickly” something as “hot” and gradually stopped going in there.
Psychologist's opinion:
There are such ways to turn a child away from the breast: prickly, bitter, etc. However, it is worth considering what we are doing. We seem to say to the child: “What was closest and most important to you has become prickly in relation to you.” Sometimes such experience affects our personal attitudes and complexes, and then for some reason an adult has difficulty building close relationships: he is always afraid to relax and get used to another person: “What if I get used to it, but it will become prickly.”

From a letter from reader Angelika Zakharova, Rostov:
I had to wean my daughter off the breast for the reason that she refused to eat any adult food - at one year and four months she lived only on my milk. We went to another city to visit relatives. There I bandaged my breasts, and at the moments when Yulia traditionally asked for the breast (before daytime and nighttime sleep, during breakfast, lunch and dinner) I left the house. We walked together or went to visit, and when “time H” came, I tried not to catch my daughter’s eye.
For the first day, Yulia didn’t eat anything at all, and then she slowly began to try her grandmother’s soups and porridge. There were a lot of tears. Parting with her beloved breasts, of course, was stressful for both her and me. The bandaged chest hurt for a whole week. But I didn’t see any other way out.
Psychologist's opinion:
The question is whether there was a need to wean the child from the breast at that very moment. I have not yet met a single child who, before the age of one, would not want to try something from an adult table (if, of course, it is shown to him and eaten in front of him). Another thing is that many parents, and more often grandmothers, believe that the child does not eat anything from adult food, even if he regularly consumes various fruits, nibbles crackers, cookies, etc.

Veronica, mother of three-year-old Sasha:
Sasha was about two years old when at a family council we decided to say goodbye to breasts. They used grandma’s old method: they generously painted her nipples with green paint, and Sasha was told that “mom’s boobs were sick and she couldn’t be sucked.” We were prepared for hysterics and all sorts of problems. However, everything turned out well because Sasha periodically ran up to me and asked to show me if her boobs were well. I even checked at night. Over time, I began to be interested in the condition of my breasts less and less, and then I completely forgot about it.
Psychologist's opinion:
I would like to ask: how old is this Sasha now? Has she herself reached the age of childbearing? This case is reminiscent of the story of the prickly brush. A girl may subconsciously conclude: “What I love can get sick because of my great love” or “Breastfeeding children means dooming yourself to the fact that your breasts will get sick and will need to be treated.” That is, older Sasha may have problems both in the area of interpersonal relationships and with breastfeeding her own child. Most mothers who turn to specialists with problems with breastfeeding (and sometimes conception) were weaned by the so-called “bloody method”.

Maria, 25 years old, Rostov:
It was quite difficult for me to establish breastfeeding, so I appreciated the fact that I managed to do it. So I was in no hurry to excommunicate my daughter. By the age of two there was practically no milk, but my daughter didn’t care: she ate adult food, and for her breasts were just a great love and something that brought us very close.
I didn’t want to stop feeding by various violent means (leave, abruptly ban). Therefore, closer to two years, I began to periodically discuss with my daughter various topics that suggested parting with breasts: I suggested thinking about the birth of a brother (with whom Katya would share her boobs); about kindergarten; about the fact that she is already a grown-up girl, etc. During these conversations, Katya agreed that it was probably time to finish with boobs. But before going to bed, she firmly stated that she didn’t want a brother, wouldn’t go to kindergarten, and was generally still young. I decided that if I insist on something, it will be worse (will she love the kindergarten or a possible brother, if because of them I had to give up my beloved boob?). We continued to “meet” our breasts in the evenings and mornings.
The denouement came unexpectedly. When Katya was 2 years and 3 months old. We read a poem about little owls. In the picture, one owl was sucking a pacifier, and the other two were holding beautiful sweets in their hands. I then said: “You see, Katyusha, this little owlet sucks a pacifier like a tit, and these big ones eat candy.” Katya became interested in this picture and even went and showed it to her dad. And she started asking for candy, which she had never tried before. In a word, that same evening Katya said that she was now an adult and would sleep without boobs. The next day she ate her first chocolate candy.
Psychologist's opinion:
This is an example of how adults can help a child wean himself off the breast. After all, all children dream of quickly becoming like mom or dad, and everything that brings them closer to adulthood is very attractive. It's worth using it.

Instructions

Age 0-6 months. During this period, a young mother needs to try to do everything to maintain breastfeeding. Right now there are antibodies in milk that protect the child from viruses and bacteria. It is worth remembering that no modern infant formula comes close to milk. Mothers who had to resort to artificial ones are more likely to experience allergic reactions and tummy problems. In addition, calcium and iron from breast milk are absorbed much better.

Age 6-12 months. Now breastfeeding is not only about receiving nutrients, but also about communication, maintaining a very close relationship. Antibodies disappear during this period, and it makes no sense to use milk as a cure for everything. Since after six months the baby begins to receive complementary foods from vegetables, fruits, kefir, and later from prepared meat, he has enough minerals and vitamins. But an amazing fact is that they are all better absorbed when combined. In addition, the presence of breast milk makes life much easier for the mother, because during this period babies have their first teeth, which is often painful. Regular breastfeeding, including breastfeeding, helps calm the baby. Pediatricians recommend continuing breastfeeding during this period.

12-18 months. At this age, the baby begins to break away from his mother, but it is important for him to know that he can always return. Breastfeeding during this period can be attributed more to communication, a special relationship between mother and child, than to eating. Since almost all children eat at night until they are one and a half years old, it makes sense to continue breastfeeding during sleep if it does not harm the mother’s health, because this is a serious burden on the woman’s body.

After 18 months. Whether or not to breastfeed your child after one and a half years is a woman’s personal decision. If it brings pleasure to the child and mother, why not continue. You shouldn’t listen to those who say that it’s useless, because this is extra time when you can look into each other’s eyes. It is believed that children who have been breastfed for a long time have a special emotional connection with their mother. However, most women who have breastfed their child until one and a half years old think about stopping during this period. This should be done in such a way as not to injure either yourself or the child. Fortunately, after one and a half years, most children can already be explained simple things, in addition, by this age they understand that there are goodies that are not related to their mother.

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