Choose the right words of support and. Priceless words of sympathy: how to support a friend in difficult times
In life, we often face various obstacles. It could be job loss, illness, death of a family member, financial troubles. At such a moment, it is difficult for a person to find the strength in himself and move on. He so lacks support at this moment, a friendly shoulder, warm words. How to choose the right words of support that can really help a person in Hard time?
Expressions that should not be used
There are a number of familiar phrases that are the first to come to mind when you need to support someone. These words should not be spoken:
- Don't worry!
- Everything is formed! Everything will be fine!
At the moment when the world collapsed, it sounds like a mockery. A person is faced with the fact that he does not know how to solve his problem. He needs to figure out how to fix things. He is not sure that the situation will turn in his favor, and he will be able to stay afloat. So, how will the empty statement that everything will work out help? All the more blasphemous are such words if your friend has lost loved one.
- Do not Cry!
Tears are natural way body to cope with stress. It is necessary to give a person a cry, to speak out, to give vent to emotions. He will feel better. Just hug and be there.
- No need to cite as an example people who are even worse
A person who has lost his job and has nothing to feed his family does not care that somewhere in Africa children are starving. Someone who has just learned about a serious diagnosis is not very interested in the statistics of deaths from cancer. It is also not necessary to give examples that relate to mutual acquaintances.
When trying to support a loved one, remember that in this moment he is mentally depressed by his problem. It is necessary to carefully select expressions so as not to accidentally offend or touch on a sore subject. Let's find out how to support a person.
Words to Help You Get Through the Tipping Point
When our loved ones find themselves in difficult situations, we are lost and often do not know how to behave. Indeed, what was said in right moment words can inspire, comfort, restore faith in yourself. The following phrases will help to feel your support:
- We will get through this together.
In difficult times, it is important to know that you are not alone. Let a loved one feel that you care about his grief and that you are ready to share all the difficulties with him.
- I understand how you feel.
When you're in trouble, it's important to be heard. It's good to have someone around who understands you. If you have been in a similar situation, please tell us about it. Share your thoughts, emotions at that moment. But no need to tell how you heroically coped with the situation. Just make it clear that you were in your friend's place. But you survived it, and he can handle it too.
- Time will pass and it will get easier.
Indeed, this is a fact. We will not remember many of the troubles in life that happened to us a year or two ago. All troubles remain in the past. Sooner or later, we find a replacement for a betrayed friend or unhappy love. Financial difficulties also gradually resolved. Can be found new job, pay off a loan, cure an illness or relieve its symptoms. Even the sadness of the death of a loved one passes with time. It is important to get over the moment of shock and move on.
- You've been in worse situations. Nothing, you did it!
Surely your friend has already encountered life's obstacles and found a way out of them. Remind him that he is a strong, courageous person and is able to solve any problem. Cheer him up. Show him that he can survive this difficult moment with dignity.
- You are not to blame for what happened.
Feeling guilty about what happened is the first thing that prevents you from taking a sober look at the situation. Let your loved one know that this is how the circumstances developed and that anyone else could be in his place. It makes no sense to look for those responsible for the trouble, you need to try to solve the problem.
- Is there something I can do for you?
Perhaps your friend needs help, but he does not know who to turn to. Or he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it. Take the initiative.
- Say that you admire his endurance and fortitude.
When a person is morally depressed by difficult circumstances, such words inspire. They are able to restore a person's faith in their own strength.
- Don't worry, I'll be right there!
These are the most important words that each of us wants to hear at a turning point. Everyone needs someone close and understanding next to them. Do not leave dear person alone!
Help your friend come up with a sense of humor about the situation. Every drama has a bit of comedy. Lighten up the situation. Laugh together at the girl who left him, or at the pompous director who fired him from his job. This will allow you to look at the situation in a more optimistic way. After all, everything can be solved and corrected while we are alive.
The best support is to be there
The main thing we say is not with words, but with our actions. A sincere hug, a handkerchief or napkin served on time, a glass of water can say more than you think.
Take on some of the household chores. Provide all possible assistance. After all, at the moment of shock, a person is not even able to cook dinner, go to the grocery store, pick up children from kindergarten. If your friend has lost a family member, help arrange the funeral. Make the necessary arrangements and just be there.
Smoothly switch the person's attention to something mundane, not related to his grief. Keep him busy with something. Invite to the cinema, order pizza. Find an excuse to go outside and take a walk.
Sometimes silence is better than any, even the most sincere words. Listen to your friend, let him speak, express his emotions. Let him talk about his pain, about how he is confused, depressed. Don't interrupt him. Let him speak his problem out loud as many times as necessary. This will help to look at the situation from the outside, to see solutions. And you just be close to a loved one in a difficult moment for him.
Olga, St. Petersburg
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, there are situations when our relatives, close people or friends need support, because they experience strong emotional experiences. Normal and the right desire anyone in such a case will be willing to help. But in such subtle moment it is important that it is correct and effective. To do this, you need to know how to behave so as not to harm and really support a person in difficult times.
- Allow and help to express emotions. Powerful emotions and feelings should not be suppressed, help to do everything so that a person expresses what is in his soul. It doesn't matter if it's grief or joy, resentment or disappointment. Until all emotions are thrown out, your interlocutor will not feel relief, and his condition will not improve. Sometimes a person can simply withdraw into the world of his experiences. Provoke him, piss him off, or, conversely, delicately start a conversation and watch for a reaction.
- Offer your help. Overnight, restore peace of mind and harmony, no one can, but help real deeds everyone can. Therefore, offer something that can alleviate the serious condition of a person. For example, cleaning the house, preparing food, going to the store. Try to help regularly until the difficult stage is overcome.
- Try to be around. It's no secret that at such moments a friend needs you more than ever. Stay with them for as long as you can afford. Try to eliminate the source of suffering or things that may remind you of it. You should not say banal common phrases from the series “everything will definitely be fine” or “wait, time heals”. Just show that this person is very important to you, how you appreciate, love and respect him.
- Let the person talk. Show tolerance and patience, listening to everything that the interlocutor wants to tell you. Believe me, being the right and good listener is a special art. And, despite the fact that he will mainly speak, your reaction should express full participation understanding and support.
- Try to distract from sad thoughts. Try at least for a while to distract a person from experiences or thoughts that prevent him from returning to normal life. Invite him to take a walk in the park, go to the cinema or theater, cafe, here you should rely on the tastes of a friend. However, remember the appropriateness, if a person in mourning do not invite him to entertainment events.
- Give right advice. If you successfully managed to pass the moment of emotional discharge and listening to experiences in the form of a monologue, the person cried enough and spoke out. The time has come to give advice, but not in a recommendatory form, but rather simply share your thoughts about the current situation and ways out of it. At such moments, you have an advantage in sobriety of mind and the ability to reason sensibly, without unnecessary emotions. By such behavior, you show genuine concern and concern for a loved one. And if he is suddenly wrong in his thoughts or actions, he cannot get himself together, it's time for him to carefully hint about this so that he is not mistaken.
- Be forgiving and as patient as possible. In such difficult moments, you should not show anger, irritability, nervousness or temper. Think about the fact that a person in moments of spiritual discomfort, worries, negative thoughts sometimes just not able to control himself and control the situation.
- Act on the moment. In the process of communication, you yourself will understand what else can help a friend. Each person is individual, relationships between people are also unique and do not lend themselves to standards or patterns.
What words of support can be said in difficult times?
Support words in difficult times, when a person is in a difficult emotional state, are no less important than actions. Psychologists say that words seem to connect you with reality, do not allow you to fall into the abyss of unrest. They give the feeling that you are not alone with the problem, that there is someone who understands, supports, shares the bitterness of experiences.
Probably doesn't exist universal words comfort and support for all people, but an attentive and caring attitude to the problems of one's neighbor is in itself a wonderful support. Do not think that these words are not important to the interlocutor, that he does not notice them and can do without them.
The best words of support will be sincere, coming from the heart and soul. If you are also experiencing bitterness, pain, worrying about a loved one, you should not say stereotyped phrases. Often they can not console, but, on the contrary, exacerbate suffering.
If your words do not come from the heart, you do not know how and what to say, just be silent. Believe me, if you force yourself to say something without sincerity and openness, it is incredibly felt and perceived as false and nothing more.
How to support a person when he is sick?
At the time of illness, any person needs care, attention and support of loved ones. To do this, it is important to show and make it clear how much you love him, how much you value him.
If the disease has disrupted your plans for work, leisure or personal life, explain that his condition will not become a burden for you, so that taking care of him is more important.
If the illness is not serious, encourage the person in comic form about what you are waiting for get well soon. Agree that after discharge you will go to your favorite or just interesting place, for example, in a cafe or for a walk. The words that a sick colleague is not enough at work, too great support. Try to spend as much time as possible with the patient, telling him about the news, ask his opinion or advice.
come up with joint occupation or a case that would deliver pleasant emotions and joy to the sick, at the time of illness it is important not to feel lonely and unnecessary.
You can also distract the patient from the disease, creating a cozy atmosphere in the room where he is. If it's a hospital, bring things from home, a photo of your family, books, colorful pillows, or your favorite flower. If at home, just do nice gift showing concern.
But how to support a person who is suffering serious illness? Here it is worth simply to please the patient with trifles, supporting good mood and not letting him give up. He must know that tomorrow will definitely come and be better. Talk to them every day about the fact that he will be cured, perhaps, tell examples of people who successfully coped with the disease.
How to hold a loved one?
A special attitude should be shown when your soulmate or loved one is unpleasant. But to support in such a situation is not as easy as it seems, because your opinion about the problem may differ from the perception of your partner.
It is said that it is easier for men to understand how to comfort women. It is no secret that ladies are characterized by excessive emotionality, they love not only to talk in detail about situations, but also to express their feelings and experiences. Here, a man just needs to listen, carefully and sincerely. Psychologists note that the most common mistake of the stronger sex is that, having recognized the problem, they immediately look for its solution.
Alas, such tactics are erroneous, a woman needs to be pitied and reassured. And only after that try to solve the issue or understand how to do it right. Often, real action is not required, the opportunity to speak out, to get an understanding that they are ready to help you at any moment is more important for a woman.
If, in a couple, a difficult moment in a man’s life has come, a woman needs to gain wisdom and patience. Some guys perceive problems as new lessons and experience, while others perceive them as a collapse. There is only one rule here, do not try to find out more than your loved one is ready to tell. Sometimes a man's support can come in the form of complete disregard problems, act as if nothing happened, try to please the little things.
Life does not consist of holidays alone, troubles happen to everyone, and it is so important in difficult times to hear good words support from loved ones. And no matter how much they say that “men don’t cry”, they also need our support from time to time.
How to support the beloved man?
- Often a woman, noticing a change in her husband's mood, does not think about how to support him. And it's not a matter of female insensitivity, it's just that many of us immediately begin to suspect a husband of treason, losing sight of the fact that there may be many other reasons for him strange behavior. Therefore, one should not make scandals and make claims based on suspicions, but gently and unobtrusively find out what really happened.
- When everything is good at home, it is much easier to deal with life's troubles. Therefore, in a difficult moment, a man, more than ever, will help home comfort. Do not be too lazy to pamper him with his favorite food, offer to take a relaxing bath with aromatic oils and get a massage. You can also offer him a walk to his favorite places or give him a gift that he has long wanted. So the man will understand that you care about him and no matter what happens, you are there. Support by deed often reaches the male consciousness better than words.
- Be creative in problem solving. Your husband may not see the way out that you will. Therefore, ask to tell about everything and think about how you can fix the situation, perhaps it’s yours. wise advice help her husband overcome difficulties.
Words of support for a beloved man in difficult times
One desire to help a man is not enough, you still need the right words to support your loved one. Because careless word, albeit well-meaning, can have the opposite effect.
When a tear drips from pain ...
When the heart beats with fear...
When the soul hides from the light...
When all life is torn from grief ...
You sit quietly in silence ...
Close your eyes, and realizing that you are tired ...
Tell yourself alone...
I will be happy! Through thick and thin!!!
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Don't cling to the past
Don't live offended
Remember the good
Don't envy anyone.
Everything that heaven sent to you,
Take it for granted
Everything that is done is for the better.
No matter how difficult it is
Do not grumble at fate
Every moment be happy
And don't judge others
For their weaknesses are frequent.
Fight for your loved ones
God-given powers
Don't skimp on words
Be gentle with the darlings.
How easy it is to live happily!
Admire the sunsets
And fall in love with all the passion
Into your striped life...
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Damn it, what a beauty!
Get up in the morning, wash your face!
And hoping for the best
it's easy to step into a new day!
To drink coffee! Dress up!
Apply some makeup!
And don't whine! And don't get angry!
Bloom with joy!
Not playing hide and seek with someone,
not cunning, not melting ...
To tell everyone that EVERYTHING IS OK!!!
EVERYTHING IS EXCELLENT FOR ME!!!
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I love positive people in life.
They have their own, special radiance
And no matter how many dark days there were in their lives,
Only light has influence there.
They know how to radiate goodness,
They warm a part of the World with their warmth.
Alas, not all of us are given this,
But under their warmth, our souls melt.
I want so much that each of us,
I got a small grain of happiness,
What would instead of bitter and cold phrases,
Smiles settled on our faces!
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How often in life we are taken to condemn,
How often in vain they climb into our souls
How rarely will they disinterestedly help,
How rarely will we be heard in truth.
How often do we want to fall
Fall yourself! And don't resist
And maybe not even breathe at all.
Can you stand up and try again?
How often life does not hesitate to hit us in the face,
How often do people accidentally stab in the back.
You don't have to be afraid of anything!
And be kind! At least half.
And in life you will meet different people!
And they will play different roles with you.
Just don't stop believing! Do not dare!
After all, in war they prepare for victory. Not for pain!
And most importantly, be human!
And despite everything, manage to stay with them!
And yes! This path will not be easy!
But know! Happy is he who is not ready to give up!
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Don't let your soul be lazy!
So as not to crush water in a mortar,
The soul must work
And day and night, and day and night!
Drive her from house to house
Drag from stage to stage
Through the wasteland, through the windbreak,
Through the snowdrift, through the bump!
Don't let her sleep in bed
By the light of the morning star
Keep a lazy man in a black body
And don't take the reins off her!
If you want to give her an indulgence,
Releasing from work
She's the last shirt
Will rip you off without pity.
And you grab her by the shoulders
Teach and torture until dark
To live with you like a human
She re-learned.
She is a slave and a queen
She is a worker and a daughter,
She has to work
And day and night, and day and night!
1958 Nikolai Zabolotsky
DON'T LET YOUR SOUL BE LAZY
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Save, save me God
From buns, jam, sweets,
From fried chicken too
From gingerbread, cakes, biscuits.
From noodle soup, kulebyaki,
Cheesecakes, dumplings, cutlets.
Let the potato be bad for me
And I will shout to pancakes - NO!
Let me be better than a sheep
And I will only pinch the grass,
I beg you endlessly
Let the hands forget to grab
And the nose always climb into the refrigerator,
Something to smell and eat.
Oh my God! Fit on Monday
I'm on a bad diet.
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Control yourself among the confused crowd,
Cursing you for the confusion of all,
Believe in yourself, against the universe,
And unbelieving let go of their sin;
Let the hour not strike, wait without getting tired,
Let liars lie, do not condescend to them;
Know how to forgive and do not seem to forgive,
More generous and wiser than others.
Know how to dream without becoming a slave to dreams,
And to think, thoughts are not deified;
Meet success and reproach equally,
Not forgetting that their voice is false;
Stay quiet when it's your word
Cripples a rogue to catch fools,
When all life is destroyed, and again
You have to recreate everything from the basics.
Know how to put, in joyful hope,
On the map everything that has accumulated with difficulty,
Lose everything and become a beggar, as before,
And never regret it;
Know how to force the heart, nerves, body
To serve you when in your chest
For a long time everything is empty, everything burned down.
And only Will says: "Go!"
Remain simple, conversing with kings,
Stay honest when speaking to the crowd;
Be direct and firm with enemies and with friends,
Let everyone, in their hour, reckon with you;
Fill every moment with meaning
Hours and days inexorable run, -
Then you will take the whole world as a possession,
Then, my son, you will be a Man!
Rudyard Kipling
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And strangers. If there was no hope for help and mutual assistance, it would be difficult for people in difficult times to cope with their problems, they would not be able to survive it on their own. Not everyone can pick the right words that help show compassion. However, only your presence will replace all phrases prepared in advance.
The right words in difficult times
How to support a person with words if there is no opportunity to see him? You can advise and show mutual support by phone. The most important thing is that the support should not be fake, but sound very sincere. You can ask if you need any help. The inadequate emotional state of a person who has something happened does not always give him the opportunity to adequately evaluate everything that is told to him. IN this case important in the voice is the intonation and rhythm of the voice, while exerting on it hypnotic effect and comforting him.
They support not only words in difficult times, but also the very readiness to provide assistance and protection. Only the fact that you will be with a person next to him will add strength and a little confidence to him.
What words to support a person? There are several phrases that are customary to say in such situations: “I sympathize”, “Time heals wounds”, “I am very sorry”, “Over time, everything will calm down, everything will pass” and many others. But if a person does not feel sincerity during the sounding of these phrases, then they will not have any positive effect on him.
Choose your words carefully
Before you say something, think carefully, put yourself in the place of that person. To comfort you in this situation? It is necessary to interest him, “hook” for a wonderful future, tell him about what kind of person is waiting for changes and new good situations. Every woman, if separated from her husband after a long joint years, feels oppression, and that life is cut short. She does not see anything good in the future. And ordinary support will not help her, you should apply a special plan that will help you get out of the situation.
The phrase “Calm down, get together, everything will pass” is not worth saying, since there is no specific future in it. You can talk about the fact that at this age life is just beginning, what lies ahead good moments. At forty or fifty, with a rich life experience it is easier to find a life partner with whom you can create a strong and reliable family. Offer to go shopping, take a look at a beauty salon while shopping, restore beauty so that the abandoned wife feels like a princess again.
If a person's loved one has died, stay close to him, help organize the funeral. Very often they help a person to bring out of despair tasks and issues that need to be urgently resolved. Say that a friend's relatives need support. If you play the role of comforter, the friend himself will provide support and think about responsibility for his family.
